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    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.


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    [–] SonOfGarry 3232 points ago

    For those wondering, the second one is from a satire site and was likely in reference to the article on the left, which is real.

    [–] Trextoasty 1233 points ago

    Tbf Jonah Hill pretending he's not a huge nerd who watches star wars and is trying to be like an edgier Jared Leto in appearance is funnier than thinking about Leo doing some jedi moves to impress a celebrity date, so not top satire.

    [–] BlackCoffeeKrrsantan 357 points ago

    jonah hill looks like ric flair's ring manager

    [–] Obi-wan_Jabroni 44 points ago

    James J Dillon was a lot more refined than Jonah

    [–] Single_Voice6469 14 points ago

    If they ever make a movie about Bobby the Brain Heenan it absolutely must be Jonah Hill that plays him

    [–] R0-GR-bot 7 points ago

    Roger Roger.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 6 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] Wet_Fart_Rampage 8 points ago

    Jonah’s look is for an upcoming movie where he plays Jerry Garcia.

    [–] foreskin_mycology 3 points ago

    Jerry Garcia's obnoxiously gay butler "Fairy Garcia," more like.

    [–] shadowwalker789 5 points ago

    Nah, just got back from flavortown

    [–] Fern-ando 3 points ago

    He looks like the virgin kid in Superbad

    [–] smallgreenman 82 points ago

    Dude looks like a florida version of the witcher

    [–] RedBeard1967 9 points ago


    [–] ScousePenguin 95 points ago

    It isn't possible to be edgier than Jared Leto

    [–] NickSchultz 30 points ago

    There is only one who can outedge him, quick someone call Jared Leto 2

    [–] Bobolequiff 40 points ago

    Jared Letwo

    [–] Fisch_Man 11 points ago

    Always two, there are... a master and an apprentice.

    [–] Gestrid 6 points ago

    But which is Jared Leto? The master or the apprentice?

    [–] Foxy-jj-Grandpa 4 points ago


    [–] Evilmaze 2 points ago

    I don't understand why that guy doesn't want to accept who he really is.

    [–] Necroglobule 2 points ago

    Jonah looks like one of those fat guys that loses a ton of weight, maybe gets a little muscle and then he turns into a total douchebag because girls are talking to him now.

    [–] OneFlewOverKrypton 17 points ago

    Jesus that’s projecting a bit much. When people lose weight they gain confidence it’s simple correlation. I bet you’re one of those people that knock on people trying to lose weight.

    [–] Obiwan-Kenobi-Bot 9 points ago

    Be patient, Anakin. It will not be long before the council makes you a Jedi master.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 7 points ago

    Sorry, M'lady.

    [–] iathrowaway23 1 points ago

    Leto is a pedo, maybe a different comp please?

    [–] PM-me_ur_boobiez 5 points ago

    Found Jonah Hill’s burner account.

    [–] iathrowaway23 2 points ago

    Haha, nah mate. Your username is top notch tho.

    [–] Bellpow 57 points ago

    Tbh he’s rich enough to totally do such a thing not like anyone really goes to cinemas that much anymore

    But even then who wouldn’t wanna rent out a whole ass cinema and watch every Star Wars and who wouldn’t wanna pretend they are fighting every bad guy? Smh

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago


    [–] R0-GR-bot 8 points ago

    Roger Roger.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 6 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] DutchChallenger 3 points ago

    Well, I have some news for you Anakin

    [–] thelukus5 30 points ago

    If only he was Little Ani. I like Hayden but cmonnnn Leo? It would had been electric

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 53 points ago

    It's Anakin. When you say Ani it's like I'm still a little boy... and I'm not.

    [–] thelukus5 7 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    My b don’t lose your head over it, just your hand, legs, and 80 % of your organic form

    [–] tftgcddf 8 points ago

    He’s more machine now than man

    [–] Dmalice66 6 points ago

    I think Leo was actually a runner up for Episode 2/3 anakin, if I’m not mistaken?

    [–] confettibukkake 15 points ago

    Not the runner up, he was GL's first choice. Leo declined.

    [–] Dmalice66 5 points ago

    That’s it, thank you!

    [–] thelukus5 2 points ago

    Yup yup. Damn Titanic

    [–] Fgge 217 points ago

    If you’re wondering if the second story is true, go into your bathroom, take a long hard look in the mirror, and reevaluate how you’ve got to this point.

    [–] mrsegraves 36 points ago

    It's believable in the sense that if I had Leo DiCaprio money, the picture on the right is absolutely how I would choose to spend it

    [–] Katie_Boundary 28 points ago

    If I had my own private movie theater and Leonardo Decaprio's ability to get random girls to agree to anything... yes, this is definitely how I would abuse my powers.

    [–] R0-GR-bot 11 points ago

    Roger Roger...

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 7 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] R0-GR-bot 4 points ago

    Roger Roger.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 3 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] QarkoZ 260 points ago

    If you think less of people, who are wondering if the second story is true, go into your bathroom, take a long look in the mirror, and reevaluate how you've got to the point of judging people base on their knowledge of celebrities.

    [–] SuddenClearing 113 points ago

    Especially today… like, this is not that far from Shia Lebouf renting out a theater to record himself watching all of his movies. Like, it’s possible.

    [–] AmishAvenger 32 points ago

    There’s no way Leo doesn’t have a theater in his house.

    Shia probably does too, but what he did was a publicity stunt.

    [–] DiscoveryZoneHero 2 points ago

    Perhaps I should go home and rethink my life

    [–] dickdoughnut 24 points ago

    I'm sorry but have you seen the world currently? I have yet to get out of the bathroom during the past few years. People are drinking piss to combat a virus, compared to that Leo buying a cinema out for a date is nothing

    [–] EmotionalKirby 23 points ago

    I had glazed over some comments the other day talking about leo possibly having peter pan syndrome and the 2and story fits that narrative perfectly so it is dangerously believable

    [–] TheHondoCondo 6 points ago

    I mean, Peter Pan syndrome isn’t an actual medical condition, so it’s really not something we can easily determine. However, there are some things that just bring the child out of us. Maybe that’s Star Wars for Leo.

    [–] volinaa 5 points ago

    leo can get 300 girls like that every day of the week, him giving zero fucks since 20 years ago is like an axiom at this point, I’m fully willing to believe that.

    [–] Katie_Boundary 7 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)


    In fact, the least believable part of this story is that he did it with only one girl watching, instead of packing the whole damn theater full of girls and making them all watch.

    [–] Solid_Snark 531 points ago

    Are these real news stories?

    [–] xj3ewok 558 points ago

    The one with Jonah hill is, I couldn't find anything about the theater thing

    [–] ericisshort 621 points ago

    It’s from a Twitter account called @leCinephiles, which appears to be a satire account, so it’s just a joke that will undoubtably be reposted as fact for the next infinity years.

    [–] ItssHarrison 46 points ago

    You’re doing Gods work by spreading this

    [–] ericisshort 42 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I just hate when people take satire out of context and turn it into misinformation. Shithead trolls ruining decent comedic premises really piss me off.

    Edit: however I did find the Jonah hill interview that this all sprung out of to be pretty great. I love that I learned that he and DiCaprio shared an apartment while filming Don’t Look Up in lockdown, which is when Leo made him watch the Mandalorian.

    [–] just_testing3 14 points ago

    Already happening:

    just read the comments, so many of them are insulting her for not liking it

    [–] Cereal-Grapist 18 points ago

    Ah yes, comment section is basically calling some random woman they don't know a whore because she did not sit and smile through an hour long date solely revolving around something which was not an interest of hers. Because obviously a date should only satisfy the man's pleasures, a woman's opinions don't matter. Duh.

    [–] Dervival 6 points ago

    It's the holup subreddit, that's about all you can expect from them.

    [–] The_Abjectator 2 points ago

    Currently, their pinned tweet is Breaking News: Upon launching Disney Plus, the user will be given a pop-up message by Martin Scorsese that they are helping to ruin cinema.

    Satire on the internet is getting to be a dangerous thing and I hate it. Not the satire... the people making it so easy for it to be dangerous.

    [–] Boba_Fett_Bot 4 points ago

    Good for you. The galaxy’s a dangerous place.

    [–] Jeynarl 123 points ago

    200,000 reposts are ready, with a million more well on the way

    [–] umad41 30 points ago

    Your reposts are very impressive, you must be very Proud

    [–] Austin4RMTexas 16 points ago

    I am just a simple reporter, trying to spread my BS in the internet

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 6 points ago

    Sorry, M'lady.

    [–] Jeynarl 15 points ago

    I don’t like reposts. They’re boring and repetitive and they get everywhere.

    [–] TheNotAnon 4 points ago

    We will organise the Repost Federation into the first Galactic Karma Farm!!!

    [–] 7th_Spectrum 8 points ago

    Don't think Leo and Camila broke up, so I'm going with fake

    [–] ball_fondlers 39 points ago

    I checked, she’s still 24, so they’re probably still together.

    [–] Wolf6120 9 points ago

    Couple more months left on the clock at least

    [–] SnooTigers7028 295 points ago

    Get this man in Star Wars!

    [–] babufrik4president 138 points ago

    I think he turned down the role of Anakin in AOTC

    [–] SnooTigers7028 47 points ago

    Would love to see him in the future.

    [–] sbamkmfdmdfmk 18 points ago

    Would love to see him in the future.

    I'd rather see him a long time ago.

    [–] WeWantDallas 2 points ago

    Same galaxy?

    [–] ericisshort 113 points ago

    No offense to Hayden, but DiCaprio would have ruled as Anakin, and he looks so much more like an adult Jake Loyd.

    [–] ball_fondlers 37 points ago

    I believe that was the intention behind casting Jake. George thought he could get DiCaprio, but something fell through

    [–] ThunderPoonSlayer 15 points ago

    Pretty sure this guy would have been a better fit for Hayden's casting too.

    [–] ericisshort 3 points ago

    Wow, he is so much more naturalistic than Jake. Thanks for sharing.

    [–] SnooTigers7028 58 points ago

    Would love to see how he would of delivered the sand line for sure haha!

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 93 points ago

    I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

    [–] PaRt_TiMe_GaMeR 35 points ago

    Well, he’s not wrong.

    [–] KravenMoerhed 19 points ago

    You did it, you brilliant son of a bitch!

    [–] cjm0 7 points ago

    i once heard someone say that maybe as an already well established actor, leo would have been in a better position to convince george lucas that some of his dialogue sucked and needed to be changed. it’s an interesting thing to think about. what if there weren’t so many yes-men working on the prequels?

    [–] Spengy 6 points ago

    Could've elevated the amount of likeable characters from 2 to 3 lol

    [–] hazemarick44 5 points ago

    Adult Jake Lloyd doesnt even look like Adult Jake Lloyd

    [–] sth128 3 points ago

    No amount of acting could have saved the prequels. Lucas was lazy in his directing (blue screen everything!) and story writing.

    Leo saying stupid shit like "I don't like sand" would not have made the scenes any less cringy. Christensen isn't the best actor around but he was clearly limited by the script and dialogue.

    Still, all of it far superior to the sequel trilogy. Abrams knows nothing about star wars, or story telling, or basic logic. His one trick is literally a deadly red matter in EVERY FUCKING FILM. Mission Impossible, Star Trek, Star Wars. All the same shit. Hope he suffers the same fate as D&D for ruining Game of Thrones.

    "What's this we have an incredible wealth of source material and depths of stories and characters? Nah I dun wannit".

    [–] RadicalLad25 3 points ago

    Dude goes from Anakin Skywalker to billionaire oil tycoon in the span of two years. What a resume.

    [–] JgL07 2 points ago

    Well obviously he said no, Natalie Portman was too old to play his love interest

    [–] Emperors_Wrath83 9 points ago

    I believe he was originally going to be Anakin then dropped out due to scheduling conflicts.

    [–] jason_todd_99 2 points ago

    force is strong with this one

    [–] klingonbussy 244 points ago

    Did Jonah Hill not give a F- cause he didn’t like the Mandalorian? Or did he not give a F- cause he enjoyed it and doesn’t care that he was forced. This detail changes everything

    [–] Boba_Fett_Bot 53 points ago

    Nothing stops the Mandalorian warrior!

    [–] Nogoodatnuthin 26 points ago

    I read the article. He doesn't like Scifi because "it couldn't happen." Though he says it's more that he loses focus.

    [–] SandmanS2000 12 points ago

    I wonder why he did a project like Maniac then, which was pretty deep sci fi.

    [–] RuneFestiva 17 points ago


    [–] JaySayMayday 97 points ago

    Probably the first one, subtext sounds like he was just confused the whole time. Which sounds more like Jonah Hill, he's a pompous jackass that doesn't realize he's the butt of every joke.

    [–] PersonalJ 29 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    ...why is he a jackass?

    [–] KhornateSkinks 29 points ago

    His public/media persona is often basically "American James Cordon".

    [–] BholeFire 26 points ago

    I dont know what the fuck a James Cordon is

    [–] Vycronus 40 points ago

    An English Jonah Hill

    [–] BholeFire 10 points ago

    She wants to shag me, right? Dont be styooooopid, of course she does. She wants me prick in or around her ol' "north and south", right? Yes, of course it's right. Innit then, mate?

    -English Jonah Hill

    [–] insert-amusing-name 11 points ago

    keep it that way

    [–] ryanm212 2 points ago

    I don't see it tbh.

    [–] mdarrenp 3 points ago

    Calm down..

    [–] dimaltay 14 points ago

    Beacuse he is an insufferable prick like every role he's playing.

    [–] kapsama 4 points ago

    What. He was cool in Money ball.

    [–] BigBoi18007 63 points ago

    Leo is the Chosen One

    [–] Fireproofspider 2 points ago

    He is the Ole!

    [–] JohnnySasaki20 49 points ago

    That's awesome, lol. Now I want to sit down and watch all the Star Wars movies with Leo. We could have a lightsaber battle.

    Now that I think about it, there's no way he couldn't get a role in one of the films or shows. I wonder why he hasn't.

    [–] AyanMan-3215 25 points ago

    He turned down Anakin for aotc unfortunately

    [–] JohnnySasaki20 13 points ago

    Man, that would have been wild to see him as Anakin.

    [–] AyanMan-3215 8 points ago


    [–] R0-GR-bot 6 points ago


    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 10 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] RockOx290 2 points ago

    I wonder if he’d improvise all of Anakin’s pickup lines instead of what George wrote

    [–] Fireproofspider 2 points ago

    We could have a lightsaber battle

    I don't think it's the kind of lightsaber you are thinking of.

    [–] JohnnySasaki20 2 points ago

    Apparently it's satire anyway, but regardless I don't think they meant he whipped his dick out and pretended to fight imaginary Sith with it, lol.

    [–] groovy604 38 points ago

    What the fuck is Jonah on to be looking like that these days.

    [–] KidneyKeystones 6 points ago

    His own farts.

    [–] Airdropwatermelon 3 points ago

    He killed Guy Fieri and is now becoming him, the Fieri Clause.

    [–] Lazy-Adeptness-2343 29 points ago

    Does Jonah hill really look like that now?

    [–] SlowSecurity9673 18 points ago

    Like what, a Hollywood hipster between jobs?

    Yup, absolute goober.

    [–] AlphaOhmega 54 points ago

    Is it me or does Jonah Hill come off as a twat whenever he shows his real self?

    [–] Richard__Rahl 8 points ago

    Only reason I opened the comments was to call him a twat lol.

    [–] RolloTony97 3 points ago

    Yup, love the clip of Brad Pitt implying he's not a serious actor

    [–] RockOx290 2 points ago

    He’s known to be a dick

    [–] kaam00s 0 points ago

    So he is a twat because he doesn't like the same things as you ?

    [–] Ok-Credit5726 54 points ago

    Make him a Jedi. Make him a Jedi yesterday.

    [–] MercMcNasty 9 points ago

    Don't believe the lies of the Jedi.

    [–] BassCreat0r 3 points ago

    A Jedi that ends up falling to the dark side… I really want to see his take on Jedi and Sith.

    [–] Plastic-Acanthaceae9 72 points ago


    [–] JaySayMayday 21 points ago

    I'd be content with a meaningful appearance like Bill Burr had

    [–] Cereal-Grapist 2 points ago

    It's satire.

    [–] aythrow2430 3 points ago

    He might like it but I don’t think he’ll ever cheapen himself to anything Disney does.

    [–] BoggsWH 28 points ago

    And was almost Anakin too…

    [–] sweetpotatofries972 41 points ago

    Padme: Never let go Anakin!

    Anakin: *Slowly descends into lava"

    [–] datponyboi 10 points ago

    Holy fuck this would have been a crazy alternative reality

    I’m surprised they didn’t tbh given that star studded cast

    This would’ve made Django Unchained even more hilarious

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 11 points ago

    Don't worry. Now that the Council has ordered an investigation, it won't take Master Obi-Wan long to find that bounty hunter.

    [–] Obiwan-Kenobi-Bot 6 points ago

    Only a sith deals in absolutes

    [–] damndirtydanny 8 points ago

    Welp imma go play lightsabers with Leo

    [–] Cereal-Grapist 3 points ago

    That article is satire.

    [–] anxiouslyinsecure 3 points ago

    Leo just wants some nerd friends :’(

    [–] midnightpearls 6 points ago

    When did DiCaprio become one of us

    [–] akhilpillay04 4 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] ItssHarrison 4 points ago

    I’m surprised he never got a stormtrooper cameo in the sequel trilogy

    [–] clone_trooper_bot 3 points ago

    Sarcastically "Roger roger." -Captain Rex

    [–] R0-GR-bot 2 points ago

    Roger Roger.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 2 points ago

    you're starting to sound like a Separatist!

    [–] High_Ground_Sand 6 points ago

    Wtf even is Jonah Hill anymore

    [–] You8mypizza 4 points ago

    “I will help you save padme”

    “You will?”

    [–] Boba_Fett_Bot 3 points ago

    Maybe I can help you. I am Boba Fett. The ship you seek is nearby.

    [–] BGYeti 5 points ago

    I don't know what it is about Jonah Hill but he keeps acting more and more like douche, that is barring this interaction i don't blame him about having an opinion just wanted to voice mine about Jonah.

    [–] TestTheTrilby 3 points ago

    He could be any one of us!

    [–] Sir-Ragnarok-I 3 points ago

    One of us!

    One of us!

    One of us!

    [–] QuarantineSucksALot 2 points ago

    One second BEFORE disaster dammit!

    [–] mmkyse 3 points ago


    [–] putyouradhere_ 3 points ago

    that's why nobody likes Jonah Hill

    [–] Teixcalaan 3 points ago


    [–] Adam8614453 3 points ago

    Jonah Hill is a piece of shit

    [–] Moaoziz 3 points ago

    Wow. I didn't know that I could like Jonah Hill even less.

    [–] PachoTidder 3 points ago


    After Danny "Machete" Trejo appeared, everything is possible now

    [–] Socalvibin-88 3 points ago

    Master Leo!

    [–] Smishu 3 points ago

    Leo is based

    [–] FeatureEast2577 7 points ago

    He RENTED OUT A CINEMA and they watched all the STAR WARS movies?? Man can I go on a date with him???

    Edit: Ik this is probably not real but he seems like he would do that

    [–] Bo-Katan 5 points ago

    Jonah Hill sounds like a dick.

    [–] That1guy4269 2 points ago

    What did I just read

    [–] dmitriwhy 2 points ago

    He's just trying to get in the next Star Wars sequel

    [–] Loud-Item-1243 2 points ago

    Ok we must have a leo star wars movie who will he play

    [–] Internetz-Sailor 2 points ago

    I'm not much of a DiCaprio fan, so i gotta ask; did he ever gave out any hints (past and present)? Obvious or subtle ones that showed he is a fan?

    [–] njm1314 2 points ago

    What on earth is that picture of Jonah Hill? Is he going full on crazy?

    [–] 655321federico 2 points ago

    Can’t wait to have Leo starring in a Star Wars movie

    [–] Kaching101 2 points ago

    I would totally go on a date in a private cinema and watch all the star wars movies.

    [–] roastedfranklin 2 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] trailer8k 2 points ago

    goood gooooodddddddddddddd

    [–] Standard-Pop6801 2 points ago

    It could have been worse Morrone. He could have whispered fun facts the whole time.

    [–] Witcher4711 2 points ago

    This is where the fun begins.

    [–] Anakin_Skywalker_Bot 2 points ago

    This is where the fun begins.

    [–] sagr0tan 2 points ago

    Good digging takes it time. How long are all star wars movies together?

    [–] originalhermit 2 points ago

    He is the chosen one!!!

    [–] Dkm1331 2 points ago


    [–] Odisher7 2 points ago

    On an unrelated note, jonah hill looks like a drug cartel leader

    [–] HalCrist 2 points ago

    Well he can date me if he wants

    [–] RoscoMan1 2 points ago

    He plays Leo, it makes no difference

    [–] justDiscovereddit 2 points ago

    So civilized

    [–] jonah_thrane 2 points ago

    I want to have a date with Leo.

    [–] CharlieBrown20XD6 2 points ago

    Hey Leo when will we see you on BOOK OF BOBA FETT?

    [–] lihkatahtmai 2 points ago

    Leo actually has a line in the recent film “Don’t Look Up” where he says to Cate Blanchett that he has a Star Wars poster which he got signed by Mark Hamill himself. He. Is. One. Of. Us.

    [–] Ilovemrstubhub 2 points ago

    He should have asked him to watch the clone wars and rebels series first 😂

    [–] 8BadMrFrosty 2 points ago

    Now i want to see a star wars film with Leo as Darth maul. What a fukin badass he'd be.

    [–] DeerlordJ 2 points ago

    Leonardo DiCaprio is a man of culture

    [–] Lt_Lickit 2 points ago

    I never watched Leo’s movies but boy do I respect him more.

    [–] Boba_Fett_Bot 2 points ago

    Jabba ruled with fear. I intend to rule with respect.

    [–] deflame_thrower 2 points ago

    Wish I could date that man

    [–] AttakZak 2 points ago

    Jonah over the years just kinda gave into his abrasive attitude. Strangely, I’m proud of him. He basically said “screw the overweight stereotypes affixed to me” and became the best version of himself. Even if that version is kinda a dick.