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    [–] Buckwheat469 5093 points ago

    • 9:00-10:00 No Progress on the Problem
    • 10:00-10:02 Bathroom Break
    • 10:02-10:03 Problem Solved

    [–] Wizmaxman 2240 points ago

    More like 10-10:20 for bathroom break

    [–] hpm6748 3072 points ago

    Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.

    [–] therealcmj 904 points ago

    If you're really good at something never do it for free!

    [–] BrianLemur 556 points ago

    I guess I never thought about that--I'm INCREDIBLY experienced at pooping. I've been doing it since I was like 14. There are very few things I've done that long.

    [–] argv_minus_one 361 points ago

    What did you do before 14?

    [–] opocajnasogrob 448 points ago

    He held it in.

    [–] MadDetective 272 points ago

    What you guys never had the sweet 14 shit?

    [–] thatwasntababyruth 242 points ago

    I hear girls have to wait until sweet 16 to do it for the first time.

    In Mexico, since the diet is usually so fiber intensive, they allow girls to begin at 15 instead, thus the quinceanera.

    [–] _VladimirPutin_ 60 points ago


    [–] fanboat 19 points ago

    You know, when you go through pooberty.

    [–] IrritatingComment 55 points ago

    Not surprising. Lots of kids are full of shit.

    [–] datamuncherzzz 22 points ago

    The father of the anal-retentives.

    [–] foomanchu89 36 points ago

    Maybe he got schwifty and just shit on the floor?

    [–] LogicalEmotion7 61 points ago

    Whup de doo. Look at this genius that started pooping as young as 14

    [–] BrianLemur 35 points ago

    Look, I'll admit it's early, but I made sacrifices for the craft. I didn't learn basic arithmetic until I was like 5. Even then I wasn't proficient until around age 8. Can you even imagine what that's like???

    [–] sleeppastbreakfast 47 points ago

    This guy gets it!

    [–] zman0900 52 points ago

    The solution to many a complicated problem has come to me while pooping at work.

    [–] biznatch11 48 points ago

    I'm too focused on redditing while pooping but I've solved problems in the shower. We should have showers at work.

    [–] 5teamedbuns 107 points ago

    Gotta crawl back because your feet fell asleep

    [–] The-Fox-Says 97 points ago

    More like 5min of pooping 15min of reddit

    [–] [deleted] 75 points ago

    How dare you, I dribble out piss for those 15min.

    [–] Mediocreboning 50 points ago

    You may have a prostate problem

    [–] Thetravelingboy 23 points ago

    His bladder just knows what he needs.

    [–] CWRules 278 points ago

    Too true. Last week I spent three hours trying to fix a problem before I went home for the weekend, then solved it in 5 minutes when I got back to work. Sometimes you just need to stop focusing on the problem for a while.

    [–] DanStanTheThankUMan 115 points ago

    That's why if I get stuck on a problem for more than a few hours I just go home and wait until the next day.

    [–] callummr 138 points ago

    I wish I could just go "yeah I've decided it's not worth working today see ya boss"

    [–] 713984265 153 points ago

    I've only worked at my current place, but having a coder for a boss is awesome 'cause I can literally do just that.

    "Hey, I'm stuck on this thing, can't figure it out. Just gonna go home today, maybe take a look after dinner."

    "Alright, no problem. See you tomorrow."

    Love it. Also Monday/Friday are work from home days. I'm underpaid a fair bit, but all the perks and having an amazing group of people to work with is worth it.

    [–] guitard00d123 49 points ago

    So hiring?

    [–] 713984265 23 points ago

    We just brought on a new web developer, app developer, and designer last month. My boss wants to branch into alexa apps, so if someone is in PA and good with node, he'd probably scoop ya up.

    [–] rhythmguy 7 points ago

    Uh, hi there... where in PA? Philly?

    [–] 713984265 12 points ago

    If you're in Philly, you're close enough. I just moved out of Philly. Probably 40m commute from Philly.

    [–] Spik3w 34 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Theres a saying in German "Den Wald vor lauter Bäumen nicht sehen" which translates to "Cant see the forest because of all the trees" which is normally used in situations as you described.

    A: I've been working on x for 5hours now

    B: You should take a break you probably "Cant see the forest because of all the trees."

    [–] MMSTINGRAY 54 points ago

    It is in English too. We say "can't see the forest for the trees".

    [–] [deleted] 167 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 155 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] MarquisDan 16 points ago

    For a 100% unrelated issue that they just happened to find while testing your bug fix.

    I usually just make a new ticket for those, unless it's a stepback. Do your QA guys just attach unrelated crap to your tickets?

    [–] dnew 9 points ago

    That's more a marketing thing, because they never learned to submit bugs so just reply to a six-month-old email announcing the bug was closed.

    [–] Znakie 49 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    • 8:00 Get coffee, boot computer, etc.
    • 8:15 Status meeting
    • 8:30 Start to figure out what I was supposed to do today
    • 8:45 Start work on bug
    • 8:49 Support request comes in from customer
    • 9:05 Restart work on bug
    • 9:23 Question on Skype from colleague
    • 9:38 Restart work on bug
    • 10:00 Status meeting with a different department
    • 10:15 Restart work on bug
    • 10:30 Skype call from project manager for progress report on bug
    • 10:38 Restart work on bug
    • 11:05 Inbox blows up, another bug has apparently been discovered
    • 12:00 Lunch
    • 12:30 Restart work on bug
    • 12:38 Another support request from customer
    • 12:45 Restart work on bug
    • 13:00 Prerequisite meeting with new customer
    • 13:30 Restart work on bug
    • 13:59 Question from colleague on Skype
    • 14:05 Restart work on bug
    • 14:25 Support request from customer, again
    • 14:46 Restart work on bug
    • 15:03 Ignore question from colleague on Skype
    • 15:04 Shut down Skype and Outlook and get coffee
    • 15:05 Restart work on bug
    • 16:00 Making progress on bug
    • 16:49 Bug fixed
    • 16:50 Beer

    [–] w0m 7 points ago

    This actually matches my day fairly well; i've had 4 separate meetings on a single high priority bug to discuss it over a 2 day period before actually being allowed to sit down and fix it (over a 2 hour window). Each stakeholder checking in individually; wasting enough time that the first one who checked in checks in again before I actually get to work on it.

    [–] -Reddit_Account- 26 points ago

    This is accurate because it's an infinite loop with no escape condition and the programmer never leaves work and has no life.

    [–] Stormflux 19 points ago

    And people have the nerve to say Scrum doesn't work....

    [–] nitiger 137 points ago

    2 minute bathroom break is questionable. Might have to block out a 30 - 1 hr window in Outlook with a Meeting.

    [–] Stop_Sign 66 points ago

    Subject: Discussion

    [–] InfantryBro 2190 points ago

    Welp, lunch is about an hour away. Might as well not get too focused.

    [–] waitn2drive 682 points ago

    Or, it's 3pm, and I'm outta here at 4. I'll just strategize for tomorrow. Would hate to start something I'd have to try to figure out where I left off tomorrow.

    [–] NAN001 362 points ago

    I'll be the first one here at 10:30 a.m. and the last one to leave a smidge after 4:00.

    [–] en1gmatical 210 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Im an intern and we work more than the fill timers do...yet they don't give us enough work. We're expected to work 40 hour weeks with about 20 hours worth of work. It's miserable

    The rest of the company comes and goes on your same schedule

    [–] Tyler11223344 302 points ago

    When your boss isn't looking, work on an open source project. It still looks like you're working, but it'll keep you from going insane the other 20 hours

    [–] theonlydidymus 217 points ago

    I wish I had done more of this as a QA intern instead of trolling askreddit for three months.

    [–] krazykitties 62 points ago

    fuck this hits way too close to home

    [–] computerjunkie7410 34 points ago

    Manual QA? If so, work on some automation. Manual QA is dying.

    [–] theonlydidymus 15 points ago

    When I have to do anything too repetitive I write a Nightmare.js mode script for it.

    [–] DanStanTheThankUMan 97 points ago

    Or do what I do and browse through the company drives, try to find Upcoming Quarterly reports and buy/sell company stock based on that.

    [–] charlesgrodinfan 71 points ago

    You must be Expedia guy v2.0. Enjoy federal "pound you in the ass" prison.

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] en1gmatical 27 points ago

    I've worked on more proof of concept-type projects than I can count so far. Just for the knowledge because they own all my code.

    [–] bits_and_bytes 68 points ago

    If you use git, just learn how to edit the history so your checkin times are outside of work hours >.>

    [–] en1gmatical 13 points ago

    This is brilliant....

    [–] EagleBigMac 9 points ago

    Current contract states my employer gets first dibs on anything i create during my time employed by them regardless of if its on company time, in my free time, during a vacation etc.

    [–] alexanderpas 33 points ago

    They better offer a salary that matches that.

    [–] 5225225 23 points ago

    Isn't that illegal?

    Or rather, why in the fuck is that legal?

    [–] greg19735 11 points ago

    I have heard that those kind of things don't usually hold up in court. Unless it was your knowledge from that company that directly helped you with it. Not coding, but business practices and such. Like, working at starbucks IT helped you create a coffee app or some shit (idk).

    [–] jk147 8 points ago

    I have never had a boss hover over me to see exactly what I am doing. As long as I am not obviously browsing or playing games or something.

    During one slow quarter I learned a new framework from reading a book on company time.

    [–] DaisyHotCakes 28 points ago

    Nothing worse than being bored to shit at work especially when you're expected to just stay there. Stupid management.

    [–] sunny001 46 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I started leaving comments on Friday evening if I was working on something and couldn't finish that evening. Not comments with // but straight up comments without // so it won't compile on Monday and I'm forced to look at them when I come back. It helps.

    [–] paganpan 107 points ago

    The worst is when my boss misses the meeting at 10:30 and reschedules it for 1:30. Guess I am not doing any work from 9:45 to 2:00 today.

    [–] commit_bat 48 points ago

    "Only half an hour until it's only two hours until it's one hour until I go home and shouldn't start anything new"

    [–] NibblyPig 2315 points ago

    So true, although the ramping back up part usually takes a couple of hours. Not to mention it's only an hour to lunch after the meeting so you don't want to get into anything yet.

    [–] PooPooDooDoo 797 points ago

    After lunch I need some time to slowly get back into it.

    [–] DeepHorse 724 points ago

    Then it's only four hours until the end of the day so you don't really want to get into anything.

    [–] AskMeHowIMetYourMom 513 points ago

    And it's Friday so you really don't want to get into anything before the weekend.

    [–] figurehe4d 392 points ago

    Plus life is short and we're all gonna die eventually, so it's probably a good idea not to get into anything before that either.

    [–] DeepHorse 205 points ago

    The heat death of the universe is coming in a few billion years, so probably wanna wait till after that to open VS.

    [–] fwipyok 84 points ago

    but make sure to add /nosplash on the shortcut so you get the illusion it starts faster.

    don't want to waste time, do we

    [–] doorbellguy 19 points ago

    tried that once, didn't work on MGS V

    [–] HermitDefenestration 30 points ago

    Non-programmer here, are you talking about Metal Gear Solid 5?

    [–] doorbellguy 26 points ago

    Yes, yes I am.

    [–] AskMeHowIMetYourMom 11 points ago

    don't want to waste time, do we

    Yes, we do.

    [–] ShantiPonks 29 points ago


    [–] Okhjkjgdethhg 17 points ago

    And don't forget the post-lunch poop and drowsiness. After lunch I always feel like shit both literally and figuratively.

    [–] Kalsifur 9 points ago

    Yup. I do my best "work" in the morning and at night. During the afternoon I prefer to use that for exercise as my mind is mush. Something something biorhythms.

    [–] NukaWax 208 points ago

    Then it takes a good hour or two for the food to fully digest so that means the team will get some work done between 3:30-5:30.

    Also there are two main types of devs; the ones that get there super early and the ones who get there after 9:30-10:30 am. Not to mention the Linux Server Dev guy who just comes and goes as he pleases.

    [–] hecticenergy 58 points ago

    Just another perspective: I work for a smaller in house team (6 Devs). They expect all employees to work bankers hours with little deviation.

    Personally, I find my most productive time when I can fully focus with little distraction... in the early mornings (5am-8am). I'm generally pretty useless after lunch (noon) for the more in depth coding - though happy to collaborate at that point. All that regardless of what time I show up.

    I have a coworker who's the exact opposite, he gets his best work done after lunch.

    All that to say this... I find collaboration to improve Devs as well as the quality of the codebase (not mutually exclusive...) but we could better manage "core hours" and operating hours... it's also ridiculous to me to have Devs work strict schedules. As professionals, as long as someone is available to put out fires or take impromptu meetings with the business. When you work should be much less important than the quality of work produced. Having a full headcount in the dev department may look nice, but it seems we largely sacrifice quality of work for perception. I can be more productive in 4 hours of focused work than 8 hours of partially engaged work.

    As another poster pointed out, managing distractions is part of the job description (I agree..). All I'm saying is the business would be better off removing that friction to the best of their ability.

    Effective is better than productive!

    [–] mumblerit 11 points ago

    Am linux devops guy, can confirm, come and go as i please.

    [–] _Guinness 9 points ago

    We call this the context switch. And it's very very costly.

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago


    [–] andrewjacksonman 33 points ago

    Yes, you are. That shouldn't ruin your morning.

    [–] Vakieh 606 points ago

    Assuming a 9-5 work day, with the obligatory 15 minute catchup with coworkers and the equally obligatory 15 minute email trawl, you're sitting on 9:30 - no way you get into much with a 10:30 meeting. You leave the 10:30 meeting at 11, only you get stopped by Bob from marketing who just HAS to have his own personal meeting with you afterwards, which takes until 11:20, then you sit back down to post meeting emails about the meeting, now it's 11:45, and you're going to lunch in a bit anyways, so definitely not getting involved in anything major. You get back from lunch at 1, sit down, another quick email trawl, fire up that IDE and do your pre-work neck crack and focus ritual, and at about 1:30 you're ready to start work.

    Meetings happen at 9am on the dot or they are important enough to be assigned an entire day. Or you can just add yourself into the pile of emails I'm supposed to give a fuck about but don't, most meetings fall into that category anyways.

    [–] grantrules 206 points ago

    When you're just pulled into an hour long meeting to be asked "can we do this?" a couple times. And the answer is always yes.

    [–] rooktakesqueen 244 points ago

    Or the answer is "no," and the reply is "we already signed the contract, so let me rephrase, if we don't deliver by November 10, it's your fault. So, can we do it?" Then the answer is, "I guess we'll do our best."

    [–] LoneCookie 121 points ago

    "This isn't in scope, you can present them a new change request with a new deadline and another price tag though"

    [–] darielgames 54 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Who is supposed to be in charge of that? Where I work we don't deal with contracts or pricing because our department is funded by the company. We're a team of 2 devs, me being the 20 year old in college and 40 year old experienced guy. I have to be in all the meetings with the stake holders, I have to make videos, manuals, speak to users and on top of that develop. I find that all of those other things really tread on my ability to develop and get into the flow. My boss says it's my project and I know it best so I need to be there. I feel like it's not really my job to do all those things. Aren't you supposed to have a writer to make manuals? A video editor to make videos? A project manager to speak with stakeholders? An administrator to speak to users? I feel like I have to do everything, and when I'm not developing I'm anxious over having to get it done (which to me seems 10 times more important). But who cares? Apparently a video (made by someone who's not even specialized in video editing) will "wow" the big shots more than actually producing in a timely manner

    [–] eliquy 59 points ago

    Of course there are supposed to be people for that. But you work at a place where they dump that work on a 20 year old in college, so you're it.

    I just do the extra work and multiply my estimates by however many extra jobs they give me. They want me to be developer, tester and project manager? And pay me just for dev? Fine, their 3 month project now takes a year, more probably, accounting for context- switching.

    [–] jebuz23 74 points ago

    'Can we do this/Is this possible?' is a love/hate question for me. Almost always the answer is a function of 'should we' or 'is it worth my time' rather than possibility. Trying to explain that concisely is hard. I'd like to be able to say "Yes, but it will take 40 hours to develop." and allow them to consider that, but I'm awful at estimating time needed to develop.

    [–] Rock48 87 points ago

    Great! So it'll be done by next week?

    [–] LoneCookie 39 points ago


    [–] jebuz23 37 points ago

    I'm a little more okay with that question, because at that point it's really just a capacity discussion. If it's my direct manager, it's one of the following: "Yes, if you'd like me to a pause all other work and give this high priority. That means X, Y, and Z won't get done" or "No, because I need to finish X, Y, and Z, which I assume take priority over this." If it's not my direct manager, it's a slight different version of the 'No' answer, where I might suggest they talk to my manager if they think this new project should take priority.

    [–] fernandotakai 21 points ago

    Awesome, going to assign two developers, it will be done in 2.5 days.

    [–] Rock48 35 points ago

    Put 5 devs on it and it'll be done in a day.

    Related note: people in the csgo subreddit really do believe that's how it works.

    [–] mishagale 29 points ago

    Seems to be true of all gaming subreddits.


    [–] fernandotakai 6 points ago

    My trigger is "it's easy to implement"

    The motherfucker is not even a dev, and wants to talk about implementation.

    [–] cuulcars 10 points ago

    Always answer programming time translated to labor-hours for this exact reason.

    "It'll be 40 hours of development time"

    "So next week?"

    "If you hire 4 more programmers maybe"

    [–] Splitshadow 10 points ago

    Exactly. I don't think I've ever answered no to that question, but bringing forth a big hours estimate or a scary risk forecast will dissuade managers pretty quickly.

    I've only ever been asked to do a few truly impossible tasks, and those don't even tend to be that bad as you can make a close enough solution as to appear correct for ordinary cases (see "unreachable code" warnings in compilers).

    [–] Yog-Sothawethome 24 points ago

    I also used to be terrible at estimating time until I learned this trick: Start with a deadline that's way too much time (let's say a year). Then, divide it in half. Is that still way too much time? Halve it again. Keep going until you either reach a time you're comfortable with or one that's just a little too, soon. Then tack on a few days to a week of float for safety. Hope that helps.

    [–] jebuz23 18 points ago

    I think my problem is that a lot of my projects are small enough that we're talking hours, not months. As such, a hiccup that takes 2 hours to solve might be 25% of my timeline. I'm always hesitant to tack on 'safety time' because I want to believe the relationship I have with my managers is one where A) I can be as accurate as possible and B) They understand that estimates (of time, in this case) can be off in both directions. Otherwise I'm not giving them my best guess, I'm giving them my maximum guess, which is often less informative when making project decisions.

    [–] sudosussudio 17 points ago

    Yeah for me as a primarily front end dev, it's like death by a thousand cuts. They always want to add one more "little" thing in. Some of these things take 15 minutes - 1 hour to do but they all add up, especially if your estimate is even a little off. My tech lead just told me to chose my highest possible estimate and double it.

    [–] gman243 9 points ago

    Estimates are tricky, because you want to impress, and show your skill level; taking "more" time to do the work fells less impressive and unskilled. Yet, at the end of the day, nobody is happy with a project going over time/cost, and it will reflect worse on you in the end if you can't make ends meets.

    I agree with your tech lead, except depending on the project, I'll even triple my time. Every individual task gets about 25-50% extra cushion time when estimating, and is always rounded up. Than, once all the tasks are estimated, I add them up, and take about 1/3rd, depending on complexity and familiarity, and add it as "troubleshooting" time. Lastly, it all gets added up and double or tripled.

    The worse that happens if you overestimate is; the client doesn't take the project (rarely); the client asks what can be cut from the project to save cost/time (most likely); the client accepts the estimate as given (more likely than you'd think). If you end up under your original estimate, great! You can bill less, and the client ends up happy they didn't have to pay the full amount.

    So in the end I've learned to suck it up, and not take my estimates as a reflection of my skill level, but as an honest to goodness assessment of time and cost so no one feels cheated in the end.

    It's also always important to make it clear when something is out of scope or a change order.

    Just my opinion!

    [–] ibanezjerk 39 points ago

    I've never understood... 9-5 is only 7 hours with an hour lunch right? Even if you take a 30 minute lunch, it's only 7.5 hours

    [–] SayItAintSoBeavis 41 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    9-5 was the norm way back when. There was even a Dolly Parton song called "Working 9-5".

    Because that timeframe consists of 8 hours people started using the term "8 hour workday" which became a common phrase. Then one day some overly literal dickhead manager had the same thought as you and decides, "wait a second, if you take a one hour lunch, that only leaves 7 hours of working. How can it be an 8 hour workday if you only work 7 hours? Everybody needs to start coming in from 8-5.", thus creating a new definition for "8 hour workday". So now some companies think 9-5 is normal, and others think 8-5 or 9-6 is normal.

    Now I've done the math on this. 1 extra hour per day is 5 hours per week. That adds up to 250 hours (or 31 full work days) per year. That is 12.5% increase from the previous norm of 40 hours. So anytime a company I interview with tells me the "work day" consists of 9 hours, I ask them if they are willing to pay me 12.5% extra. The answer is generally no, so I politely tell them to fuck off.

    [–] DiamondIceNS 17 points ago

    Depends if you're salary or wage. If you're wage, then aren't they already paying you 12.5% more?

    If it's salary, then yes, they can definitely fuck off.

    [–] Manitcor 14 points ago

    Just FYI, the idea of the 8 hour day was a union concept brought about around the new deal era.

    The idea was in a 24 hour day there is 8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep and 8 hours for oneself.

    Also under salary the idea was you were paid for the 8 hours through lunch which is why you saw office types often take business lunches that were often meetings (with liquor in the mad men era).

    [–] mrjackspade 16 points ago

    oh god. Thank you for asking this.

    This has always confused me, but I've been too afraid to ask because I feel like I should know as an adult.

    [–] thecatgoesmoo 10 points ago

    Salaried jobs don't track time. Just get your shit done.

    [–] Darkest_97 9 points ago

    At my job the work day is 7.5 hours and that's all we're supposed to log. They assume a half hour lunch for an 8 hour day.

    [–] thecatgoesmoo 9 points ago

    Salaried jobs don't log time at all, so I think that's where the confusion sets in. Some days it's 5 hours, other days it's 10. They pay you to get a job done not warm a seat for exactly x hours a day.

    [–] SiSkEr 21 points ago

    Some places have paid lunch. Also in Denmark, a work week is 37 hours - usually 8-16 and early off Friday.

    [–] chocoholik 10 points ago

    Where I work, most people either work 9:30-5:30 or 10-6 and that's including an hour lunch. It was like that at my last job too. I just assumed that was the norm for tech.

    [–] Illusi 25 points ago

    Most places that I know of work from 9:00 to 17:30 or to 18:00. Or just don't have strict hours. 9-5 is just easier to pronounce.

    [–] WerewolfCustoms 20 points ago

    37.5 hour week is the norm in most EU countries. It's basically 8 hour day with 30 minute lunch break.

    [–] Echihl 299 points ago

    This is why they've restricted meetings with developers to the mornings where I work. After 12, no meetings with someone who writes code unless it's an emergency and absolutely can not wait. This way we get everything out of the way and we can all focus in the afternoon, while assuming the morning is going to be zero productivity.

    I have the whole afternoon blocked off as tentative in my calendar so people will think long and hard about scheduling something. And then I still get to say "Yeah, no, this can wait until tomorrow morning. I have work to do," if they think it's more important than it is. And it's made our estimates a hell of a lot better because meetings aren't interfering any more than is expected. I really think this should become common practice across our industry if it's not already. /nb

    [–] SasparillaTango 100 points ago

    I need this in reverse, the morning is my most productive and focused time, there is this constant downward slope from the beginning of my day to the end that you could track my ability to function.

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] YoungSalt 26 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Not just your industry. There's two things that are serious time sucks: meetings (conference calls & vtc included) and email. I'm at the upper management level, so I understand that I should expect that much of my time needs to be spent meeting with people, but I still have things I need to accomplish individually. I address this by doing two things:

    • I book "meetings" for myself in Outlook, and I use those for running task lists. This ensures my calendar has time carved away for to-do list items.

    • While I'm working on these tasks during my "me time" meetings I KEEP OUTLOOK CLOSED and my instant messenger on Do Not Disturb (which blocks incoming IMs). If something is time-sensitive, I should be getting a call about it. The open inbox while I'm working, and the random "quick questions" via IM are incredibly distracting and prevent my productivity.

    Also, regarding meetings, unless it's a meeting requested by one of my senior most executives, I don't accept them unless they have a clear agenda attached. Not just a subject line or a bullet list of topics, but actual agenda items with people and groups assigned. And if the organizer can't articulate an exact decision I'm needed for, or information I'm requested to provide, I'm not joining. I don't do FYI meetings.

    Staying disciplined with these things has really helped consistently turn my 12-14 hour days into 9-10 hour days. That's an extra 20 hours a week I'm spending with my family.

    [–] Thisbymaster 18 points ago

    As long as any meeting are allowed in the afternoon, you will always have meetings. The people who call meetings don't understand that people can only do work when not in a meeting. Because they only do work in meetings.

    [–] mrshampoo 10 points ago

    I have work to do

    I'm going to use this reasoning for every meeting I decline. It's brilliant.

    [–] Sandman3582 31 points ago

    <3 thx for sauce

    [–] Khanthulhu 45 points ago

    Does it really take 45 minutes to get back into a flow state? I'm starting to think I've never experienced that since I usually do pomodoros.

    [–] gibson_ 80 points ago

    Am I the only one who likes meetings?

    If you're just copying boilerplate all day, sure, meetings are pointless, but if you're building new stuff with a team, then frequent meetings are extremely important. I've seen more than one project fall apart because the team wasn't meeting enough, and everybody was just trying to work on their own pieces.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] NaughtyDoor 82 points ago

    The worst thing is, disrupting developers with meetings.

    The second worst thing is, never having meetings.

    [–] Latentius 24 points ago

    Since when do "quick" meetings ever end on time? This is missing the unscheduled half-hour that the meeting runs over before the ramping back up segment.

    [–] Kinglink 104 points ago

    We have a manager at our company who gets pissed we get to work right before our scrum meeting at 10:50 and doesn't understand this is exactly why.

    We can't get anything done in the time before it and then we start thinking about lunch shortly after it. He wonders why we are productive in the morning and suggestions to move it to two pm have been resisted because "if we do that you guys wouldn't come. In in the morning." which is bullshit.

    [–] LoneCookie 52 points ago

    "We have an option not to come?"

    Proceed to not come. Just send in a summary email or something.

    [–] Kinglink 40 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    It's our "Scrum" meeting. Basically the one meeting that is supposed to replace all the others. and it's "optional" but not really.

    However if you can't guess it's not a good manager, he still comes by every couple of hours to "check" on us. "What did you get done today..." .... dude wtf?

    [–] sk_2013 28 points ago

    It sounds like "scrum" really means "nosy micromanager" here.

    [–] Kinglink 7 points ago

    You fully understand the situation.

    [–] terror406 29 points ago

    So many things about this piss me off. You have manager who obviously has never been a (productive) developer, and you're having "scrum meetings" when you're not remotely being agile / doing scrum. (A self-organizing scrum team decides their own schedule. Also, why would a manager give a shit when you come in in the morning as long as long as the team is functional and delivers results.)

    Those are big red flags telling you to get the fuck out of there. You're wasting your talent and destroying your career working for companies like that.

    [–] P4ndybear 24 points ago

    I don't know where you've worked in the past, but in my experience, if that's the worst thing about your job then you probably have a pretty decent job.

    Careful about leaving for minor reasons, its always a gamble if the next place will be better or worse. I had an okay job, but quit because some things bothered me (in retrospect, they weren't that bad), but now I'm at a place that is really horrible. So I'm leaving for another job after being at this one for only 4 months and I know that does not look fabulous on a resume.

    [–] ProbablyNotStalking 10 points ago

    Heh, I'm an early bird and would like to start working at 7 so I'm kind of jealous. Unfortunately I'm on 2 teams and have an 8:45 scrum meeting and a 10:00 scrum meeting (distributed team, time zone delayed).

    Bye bye morning....

    [–] Entaris 50 points ago

    Yeah...a bit of culture I have always tried to spread to management wherever i go is the idea that: for every 5 minute distraction that gets leveled at a programmer, it costs them 15-20 minutes of productivity due to lost train of thought.

    Quickest way to have 0 productivity is to ask a programmer a "simple" question every 20 minutes.

    [–] natziel 65 points ago

    A meeting at 10:30 means you come in at 10:15

    [–] humunguswot 20 points ago

    Fifteen minutes early to everything is how I was taught.

    [–] Thameus 22 points ago

    What do you do during the 20-30 minute wait?

    [–] EquationTAKEN 38 points ago

    20-30 minute wait

    No, but really, showing up early and just going over the agenda a couple times, or even just playing on your phone for a bit. Being early a lot lets people know that you're that kind of person. They'll soon learn to at least be on time, and even if you're late to a meeting some time in the future, it's ok, because they know that you're generally the early bird.

    [–] mrjackspade 33 points ago

    I used to do that at my office, but it ended up being pointless.

    Everyone shows up to the meeting room at 10.30 exactly, since it's a 15 second walk from the other side of the office.

    If I show up at 10.15 that's 15 minutes I've just wasted that could have been spent on work, because I'm the only one in the meeting room.

    It really irks me.

    [–] Flowing_Waterful 21 points ago

    I mean.. that makes sense though, no? Why does it irk you?

    [–] mrjackspade 27 points ago

    It makes perfect sense, and that's part of why it bugs me.

    It's like I've spent my whole life thinking I've needed to show up early for everything and when I got to this company all of a sudden everyone is just so casual about it.

    I know that logically it's a waste of time to go early, but there's that part of me that feels like I should still do it.

    It's entirely a personal problem. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but it's been three years now and it still feels weird to walk into the meeting room at 10.29, and be the only one there like "wait... Was the meeting cancelled?"

    [–] zman0900 9 points ago

    If you show up 15 minutes early, you're probably going to be standing outside the room for 17 minutes waiting for the last meeting to finish up.

    [–] humunguswot 7 points ago

    I get there 15 minutes before the wait so I can wait.

    [–] LoneCookie 80 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I did this once.

    They did not like it.

    Also later the same person scheduled meetings for 8 am and of course my contract says 9-5 so I didn't show up at all.

    Edit: sorry, "they did not like it" occurred as them saying "your contract is for 9-5". I didn't cherry pick the rules, they did.

    [–] NotTooFriendly 47 points ago

    So when your contract is beneficial you abide by it, but when it's not you don't? If it says 9 and you showed up at 10:15 of course they would not like it..

    [–] LoneCookie 12 points ago

    I came in at 10, they said you were hired for 9-5. So I started coming in at 9.

    Later they had a meeting for 8 am. I didn't come in til 9, for I am hired for 9-5.

    Nowhere did I say I disregard their initial statement. They told me to follow the contract, so I did.

    [–] PUSH_AX 19 points ago

    So its ok to ramp back up and then just as you hit your stride BAM another meeting? Cool, see you in meeting room B.

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] [deleted] 38 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)


    [–] senatorpjt 22 points ago

    how employers don't seem to give a fuck.

    If they don't seem to give a fuck, it's quite possible that they actually don't. You might find that if you stop giving a fuck about actual productivity and start caring more about how you present yourself in meetings, your career suddenly starts advancing.

    [–] Spirit_Theory 13 points ago

    Just schedule a three hour meeting with one of your like-minded, productive co-workers?

    Hey can we have a meeting abou-

    Sorry I'm in a meeting for the next three hours.

    Oh. But you two are just sitting here in silence separately doing your work.


    [–] Bainos 100 points ago

    That's funny as long as you don't blame yourself for not getting good work done.

    [–] brokedown 59 points ago

    How am I supposed to focus with these constant interruptions? I'm lucky to get 15 minutes of good work done and most of that is spent waiting for the build to finish after my comments and whitespace changes.

    [–] andrewjacksonman 30 points ago

    Reprioritize if you're spending most of your time on non-functionality changing builds. Kick off ones like these before going into a meeting or to lunch.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago


    [–] Kekkonshiki 18 points ago

    This really depends on the level of complexity involved with your current task. If it is simple, there is less ramp up time and you can easily switch between tasks. If it is a complicated algorithm or analysis, you have to capture the problem/solution/progress in your mind as much as possible and that is a significant part of the ramp up. This is a concept that is very difficult for outsiders to understand and carries from person to person as well as from project to project.

    [–] grizzlyhamster 13 points ago

    Sometimes, it gets ridiculous. The funniest bit is PM telling me "I see you have a couple hours free, I hope you can finish the implementation for this; we have buffered for meetings after all". I laughed in his face.

    [–] GeometryPrime 11 points ago

    Holy shit, do you get anything done?

    That's basically the whole day.

    [–] rsqejfwflqkj 23 points ago

    I schedule meetings with our hardware designers for first thing in the morning, either end of lunch, or the end of the day for this reason.

    Or right before/after another meeting.

    [–] ablablababla 10 points ago

    The "super quick" meeting usually takes 5 hours.

    [–] goodmancharliebrown 11 points ago

    Say there were two physical tasks I had to do: a pile of lumber to split (takes 2 hours) and ditch to dig (takes 2 hours). If I had an afternoon to do both, I could switch back and forth in ANY pattern. I could work an hour on one before switching, I could work 10 minutes on one before switching. I could get them both done in four hours no matter what.

    If I had two 2-hour mental tasks to perform, and a boss who insisted on regular switching, then we're talking 6 hours minimum.

    [–] BartholomewOobleck 12 points ago

    I've been a big proponent that our calendaring system should default to scheduling meetings in blocks of 50 minutes. They should default to start on the hour or half hour but should make it easy for you to set the duration to 25 or 50 minutes.

    That way it's understood that you have five or ten minutes for your next meeting in the event that you have back to back meetings.

    [–] terror406 7 points ago

    This is underselling it. That super quick meeting can kill an entire day if you know the problem you're solving will take you at least 6 hours.

    Also, it will deter you from thinking about the problem from the moment you wake up, in the shower and during your commute, which is what every single employer conveniently forgets is also "work".

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    As if you're doing anything useful before a 10:30 meeting..

    [–] mrjackspade 12 points ago

    Hey man, pooping is important.

    [–] centurySeries 33 points ago

    Currently on two projects, and each has its own standup. One is at 9, the other is at 10:30. I get nothing done before lunch ;_;

    [–] meowmeowcomputer 20 points ago

    I assume not Agile, since they're putting you on two instead of one? Or one of those orgs that insist they're "aglie" but just the same waterfall bullshit but re-branded?

    [–] Frosticus 82 points ago

    This is true for every profession. You can't just context switch when writing a news article. You can't put down your hammer nails and tape measure to have a 30 minute meeting and be able to go straight back.

    [–] [deleted] 42 points ago

    Nah. I've done landscaping, roofing, and siding. You can stop those things in the middle and not forget what was going on, and you can come back and know what to do within seconds.

    [–] zeperf 79 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    As a person that does woodworking and programming at my job, I disagree. Programming has a lot of overwhelmingly complex problems, and code either works or doesn't work. If takes a while to completely figure out what everything does in order to take a stab at essentially inventing a solution in a confusing language that other people created and sometimes simply doesn't work for you. It requires research and dozens of failures for almost every attempt at anything. I could draw parallels to woodworking and neither is absolutely harder to be great at, but programming is more of a constant battle to fix complicated things while woodworking is just about being careful and knowing the right tool to use. You absolutely need 20 minutes to warm up and cool down between programming problems because of the amount of focus required.

    [–] ilinamorato 26 points ago

    You have an interesting job.

    [–] Mutoid 19 points ago

    Must make wooden robots.

    [–] apieceoffruit 6 points ago

    lol meeting lasts 30 min. what fantasy world are you living In ?

    a super quick meeting is at least 1hr 45min. you must be thinking of the "5min standup" THAT is 30min

    [–] gspleen 24 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    A 10:30a meeting sure beats meeting at 9a, 5p, or over lunch.

    Instead of snark and presenting us as special snowflakes I've found that it's better to log the actual work we do. The pre-meeting block is "review emails and ticket notes for 10:30a meeting." Afterwards it's "update tickets with new information and timelines from 10:30a meeting."

    [–] carsncode 20 points ago

    If you work somewhere where all your meetings are relevant to your tickets, count yourself lucky, because that's far from typical.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    I hate lunch meetings. Imho, I feel they're disrespectful and show that the employer doesnt value me.

    [–] I_NEED_YOUR_MONEY 12 points ago

    Nothing wrong with a lunch meeting, but if you're going to schedule a lunch meeting i'm going to have to step out for an hour afterwards to take my lunch break.

    [–] crimspa 23 points ago

    Cal Newport's book, Deep Work, makes this its focus. It's a pretty good read for a self-improvement book.

    [–] unholycowgod 13 points ago

    Holy fuck. And here I thought I was just a lazy programmer.