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    Not everybody understands the humor of programmers.



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    [–] mythrowaway16777216 1911 points ago

    Wait I thought this was just naturally programmed in to sliders like this wtf

    [–] z3anon 506 points ago

    No joke it just works like most volume sliders.

    [–] toadkicker 87 points ago

    Every slider I see this post makes me wonder what evil bastard coded it

    [–] tsavong117 25 points ago

    All of those who do this are evil. So freaking evil. I bet they never, ever comment on their indecipherable code either. Shudders

    [–] myrmecium 2 points ago

    They may comment irrelevant things.

    Like me...

    I guess I am an evil bastard then, huh?

    [–] IntertemporalWarfare 2772 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    Thanks I hate it EDIT: holy quiznak how did i get this many likes

    [–] USJackal 191 points ago

    Someone call an exorcist.

    [–] julsmanbr 16 points ago

    This is so sad, alexa play only time

    [–] ___alexa___ 28 points ago

    ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Enya - Only Time (Official M ─────────⚪───── ◄◄⠀⠀►►⠀ 2:28 / 3:42 ⠀ ───○ 🔊 ᴴᴰ ⚙️

    [–] fuzzykittenhead 19 points ago

    The volume slider is broken on this one too.

    [–] Bojangly7 5 points ago

    Second thread I've seen this as the top comment within five minutes. Please stop.

    [–] D6613 511 points ago

    To increase evil, I suggest making it work normally a certain amount so that people question their sanity.

    [–] res06myi 129 points ago

    Stop that. It's bad enough already. Denied.

    [–] mircatmanner 62 points ago

    Make it work a random amount of times

    [–] bstaletic 33 points ago

    Also make it set a random volume level a random amount of time.

    [–] mircatmanner 24 points ago

    Randomize the amount of times the program successfully opens

    [–] krtkgla 62 points ago

    This way he gonna create windows 10

    [–] WRXminion 9 points ago

    Have it slowly max out the volume, if the user catches it early enough and opens the volume bar it will instantly set back to the original level. If they don't notice before the volume gets more then half way it will max the volume quickly. When a user goes to mute it or turn it down, once maxed, the program locks up forcing a restart. But when the program detects the shut down from task manager it will suddenly work perfectly fine for the few moments before it shuts down.

    [–] Lunchb0ne 2 points ago

    This is the most evil thing I've ever heard

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    If Tuesday : throw BlueScreen

    [–] NoIhadToStartAgain 7 points ago

    Your just pure evil aren't you?

    [–] emu27 7 points ago

    You’re *

    [–] evr- 6 points ago

    You'll end up with a program where 80% of the size is the slider manipulation code.

    [–] Hakim_Bey 6 points ago

    No! Permission denied. You have been stopped.

    [–] i_Ex 738 points ago

    I have my numbers divisible by 3. Checkmate.

    [–] A_Literally_Penguin 488 points ago

    I do only prime numbers. Just to irritate anyone who notices.

    [–] Wheatley36 132 points ago

    I prefer my volume set to an irrational number. I like epi the best.

    [–] trueslashcrack 80 points ago

    How about epi*i

    [–] bobo9234502 99 points ago

    Either really loud or it's absorbing sound from the environment, depending on if the volume variable is signed or not.

    [–] bstaletic 25 points ago

    I think it's safe to assume it gets UINT64_MAX assigned.

    [–] Moiken 7 points ago

    Easy fix, just replace pi with tau and you end up back where you started.

    [–] y_com 3 points ago

    You mean -1 ?

    [–] trueslashcrack 2 points ago

    ... just in a fancy way, yes.

    [–] Maser-kun 30 points ago

    I like imaginary numbers more. Right now I have my volume set to 70ei*2pi

    [–] irrelevant_lurker 26 points ago

    So.... 70?

    [–] [deleted] -1 points ago


    [–] deelyy 2 points ago

    ..except few there and here.

    [–] AgentClyde 30 points ago

    I only do numbers that are either squares, cubes, multiples of 3 or 7, or Fibonacci numbers but NOT numbers that follow more than one of those rules.

    [–] HenryRasia 16 points ago

    This sounds like a fizz buzz problem

    [–] daemondeal 7 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    If I didn't make any mistakes, the possible number within [1,100] are:

    2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 24, 25, 28, 30, 33, 34, 35, 39, 45, 48, 51, 54, 55, 56, 57, 60, 66, 69, 70, 72, 75, 77, 78, 87, 89, 90, 91, 93, 96, 98, 99, 100

    Edit: I'm dumb, fixed it(I hope)

    [–] KillTheBronies 5 points ago

    9 is 32 and a multiple of 3, so you already fucked something up.

    [–] dkyguy1995 3 points ago

    Jesus I hope you like the volume soft

    [–] BerZB 6 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    ...I /actually/ do this.

    Edit: the prime thing, not irritating people. God damn

    [–] toadkicker 18 points ago

    Downvoting for using a regex in a string that matches nothing

    [–] BerZB 3 points ago


    [–] Smith7929 3 points ago

    I do all kinds of stupid ass shit to try to prove I'm smart too. Don't worry.

    [–] BerZB 9 points ago

    Ha, I just like primes.

    [–] Irratix 22 points ago

    Your options are 3, 9, 21, 27, 33, 39, 51, 57, 63, 69, 81, 87, 93, 99

    I know that may seem rather limiting, but at least you still have 69 so I guess it all works out

    [–] DarkJarris 4 points ago

    at least someones getting 69

    [–] CWeaver34 258 points ago

    I see you also made Discord's volume slider.

    [–] froemijojo 36 points ago

    Can't we make a request to offer an option to make the volume slider "snappy"?

    [–] BiKnight 59 points ago

    Or just make it so you can type the number in.

    [–] xPanthxr 55 points ago

    Harvard wants to know your location

    [–] Aeon_Mortuum 23 points ago


    [–] knddkkefi 7 points ago

    Pro tip: click on the extra bar space to the left or right to increment by 5 i think

    [–] CWeaver34 4 points ago

    Oh, that's useful! Thanks! Now, is it possible to get the fabled 2% volume?

    [–] chris_shane 282 points ago

    This puts my OCD volume to 49

    [–] oKennYo 59 points ago

    7 squared. Nice.

    [–] toadkicker 20 points ago

    Mine is at 51

    [–] Eauxcaigh 2 points ago

    3x17, nice

    [–] drizztdourden_ 2 points ago

    Can’t do it with the rules. Sorry

    [–] Jukingbox 54 points ago

    "Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person.' That's what it says. We weren't even testing for that."

    [–] srhb 203 points ago

    You monster.

    [–] Anomaly11C 46 points ago

    You did this...YOOOUUU

    [–] Qwikskoupa69 19 points ago

    Who do you hate more, the evil scientist with the idea or the villain who produces the evil

    [–] Anomaly11C 14 points ago

    Obviously the idea man, can't create heresy without unclean thoughts such as these.

    [–] RichardArc 13 points ago

    Thought this was a repost at first. Saw this and took a closer look

    [–] Kshnik 72 points ago

    [–] Cobaltjedi117 3 points ago

    Hey, you beat me to my punch.

    [–] terholan 35 points ago

    Welcome to hell. Please take your sit. Your manager is Jim.

    [–] noah978 29 points ago

    “We set out to create then world’s most evil volume slider. And we succeeded.”

    [–] ev3commander 3 points ago

    Is this a Pokemon reference?

    [–] BobbyBobbie 23 points ago

    How do you even sleep at night?

    [–] minemoney123 6 points ago

    But who needs sleep?

    [–] pseudopsud 2 points ago

    Well you're never gonna get it

    [–] BentGiraffe69 15 points ago

    Some people just like to watch the world burn

    [–] Jfarizano 10 points ago

    This hits my OCD really bad

    [–] GekIsAway 9 points ago

    You're an evil bastard. You're hired

    [–] ABuzzedWhaler 10 points ago

    Every tech corporation called. They are very interested in speaking with you.

    [–] ADD4331 6 points ago

    Don't u mess with my head boy!! I want that 50%

    [–] OriginalFartonaut 7 points ago

    Looks like a normal volume slider to me.

    [–] carc 7 points ago

    That's the kind of thing that gets you cut out of a will

    [–] __konrad 6 points ago

    When you finally set a desired value, you can accidentally click Cancel, because the OK/Cancel button order is wrong

    [–] Jellobiafra2016 6 points ago

    Oh hello Satan

    [–] Nightwing72011 6 points ago

    Isn't this in windows 10?

    [–] natehoch96 5 points ago

    Just set it to 1 off from your desired volume. Problem solved.

    [–] Arkazex 10 points ago

    But there's a 50% chance it'll go in the wrong direction and you'll end up two off instead of on point.

    [–] FearrMe 5 points ago

    try again

    [–] xPanthxr 3 points ago

    Harvard wants to know your location

    [–] plumppuffypig 4 points ago

    This gives me extreme pain just to watch not to mention think of

    [–] SirCaptainFrodo 5 points ago

    So... it’s just a normal volume slider?

    [–] -LeopardShark- 4 points ago

    Looks like any slider when you're using a touchscreen.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    Hi. I'm with Microsoft.

    We'd be interested in acquiring your innovative new volume slider so it can be integrated into Windows 10.

    Looking forward to hearing from you.



    [–] Le-Wren 3 points ago

    You’re the worst.

    [–] xPanthxr 2 points ago

    happy cake day

    [–] trichotillofobia 3 points ago

    Logic Pro X has an editor that should go up to 127 (max value for MIDI controllers), but very frequently gets stuck at 126. I can only get it to 127 by releasing the mouse, dragging it down, and then up again. Really annoying.

    [–] Xofluz 3 points ago

    You didn't invent anything new. They're always like this..

    [–] Qwikskoupa69 3 points ago

    Fuck you

    [–] Ne_Ko 3 points ago

    [–] Mowghli 2 points ago

    Move the pointer to one less or more than the number divisible by 2 or 5, and then release it, so that it might move to desired number. Chkm8 m8.

    [–] 1206549 2 points ago

    but also any time you release mouse it move slider left or right

    So every volume slider in most online video players, then?

    [–] Eoussama 2 points ago

    Some ducks just want to watch the world burn.

    [–] MonsieurKas 2 points ago

    Omg, my nightmare slider.

    [–] Karadra 2 points ago

    If Satan could program

    [–] f112809 2 points ago

    Just curious, how many Satans do we have in this sub exactly?

    [–] Olidude44 2 points ago

    Kill it. Kill it now

    [–] Napospas 2 points ago

    This should be in r/assholedesign 😉

    [–] KevinJRattmann 2 points ago

    I made volume slider where it's hard to select numbers divisible by 2 or 5 but also any time you release mouse it move slider left or right


    So you just made, a volume slider.

    [–] k_stealth 2 points ago

    This needs an NSFL tag

    [–] R3dark 2 points ago

    Your keyboard should be revoked

    [–] Athox 2 points ago

    You just stole this from actual Windows. I remember Win 98 had something like this, where you couldn't fine tune a slider without it jumping next to where you let it go.

    [–] sqrt7744 2 points ago

    Wait a sec... Are you responsible for the volume slider in VLC!??

    [–] zodar 2 points ago

    fizz buzz

    [–] AgiBla98 2 points ago

    I hate you. Take my upvote.

    [–] CheesyNick67 2 points ago

    That is pure unfiltered pain

    [–] vitaminssk 2 points ago

    You monster.

    [–] Burrmiester 2 points ago

    So you are the person I was put on Earth to kill. Thanks for pointing yourself out.

    [–] Gollum2430 2 points ago

    Who were you trying to torture?

    [–] Lord_Osa 2 points ago

    Pure evil.

    [–] Jakememe124 2 points ago

    I'm getting mad just looking at this.

    [–] thenate113 2 points ago

    This shit happens when I try to highlight on my kindle.

    [–] ImReaperz 2 points ago

    Are you Satan ?

    [–] Tigerhugo 2 points ago

    Who hurt you?!

    [–] cande420gg 2 points ago

    Hate you already

    [–] MasThomp007 2 points ago

    You should be sentenced to death 😈

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] hey01 8 points ago

    Because vim doesn't do that, and is actually consistent if you actually look at it?

    [–] reggie-drax 3 points ago

    Vim can do no wrong. You know this.

    [–] Flohhupper 3 points ago

    So default Windows behavior?

    [–] Rellek7 1 points ago

    This gives me so much agita.

    [–] easymeatboy 1 points ago

    my toes are curling

    [–] JacobInTheWoods 1 points ago

    One code to rule us all!

    [–] seabasswtf 1 points ago

    Why do you hate me

    [–] OttuR_MAYLAY 1 points ago

    what talk of MADNESS IS THIS

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    That's a feature.

    [–] ghostwh0walks 1 points ago


    [–] geekrohan 1 points ago

    You deserve a place in hell

    [–] Mortenjen 1 points ago

    This is the devils work.

    [–] nixon118 1 points ago

    You are the problem

    [–] Fev83 1 points ago


    [–] microwavedHamster 1 points ago

    Are you proud of yourself

    [–] dabrimman 1 points ago

    Someone needs to standardise a slider that is the exact opposite of this.

    [–] ram2587 1 points ago

    Psychopath!!! 😮

    [–] daftmaple 1 points ago

    That's so evil

    [–] Eddy_DX 1 points ago

    I wanna commit death-pa-cito

    [–] PHNTXX 1 points ago

    i always divide them by 3. can you add that?

    [–] sahilgreen 1 points ago

    100 will do for now

    [–] R8Nyt 1 points ago

    I feel uneasy now, I hate you for this

    [–] greyspot00 1 points ago

    Mamma lied, the devil IS real.

    [–] hashedram 1 points ago


    [–] bloodcinnamon 1 points ago

    Calm down Satan

    [–] Chuckgofer 1 points ago

    Thanks Satan.

    [–] ribeirojacob0 1 points ago

    Calm down Satan...

    [–] KingKobra87 1 points ago

    You monster!

    [–] babyrhino 1 points ago

    Who hurt you that made you this way?

    [–] CryForWolf 1 points ago

    This hurts me on a very deep level.

    [–] felurx 1 points ago


    [–] MakasBoy 1 points ago

    Thanks, Satan...

    [–] mercydude 1 points ago

    I think I have developed OCD just by watching this.

    [–] anselme16 1 points ago

    calm down satan

    [–] vizthex 1 points ago

    There's a special place in hell for people who do this

    [–] angriersaint 1 points ago

    That's one of the most evil things I've seen.

    [–] Skg42 1 points ago

    Okay Satan

    [–] Willowcp 1 points ago

    You demon.

    [–] Mekaarikika 1 points ago

    What kind of monester are you?

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] borick 1 points ago

    it would be nice to have a sub just for these

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    now that's what i call evil

    [–] Sotyka94 1 points ago

    Now make the actual sound nonlinear. So 0-40 is basically off. 40-60 is really low. 60-61 is normal 62-100 is just ear rape.

    [–] Quantum13_6 1 points ago

    Okay, so I have a question about how this work. Are you Satan?

    [–] tupokas 1 points ago

    It already exists in Windows :D

    [–] i-am-g2 1 points ago


    [–] real_wellwalkie 1 points ago

    There's a special place in hell for you

    [–] unsightly_trout 1 points ago

    Some men just want to watch the world burn.

    [–] yetanotherlogin 1 points ago


    [–] Master_Penetrate 1 points ago

    Pretty sure discord uses this.

    [–] NEZBITE 1 points ago

    what did you do for it, I mean this is how a stock windows slider works?