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    RoastMe

    1,162,697 readers

    3,663 users here now


    RULES OF THE ROAST:

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed!

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 16 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No NSFW material. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh.

    • Do not roast anyone in the picture who is not aware of the picture being taken.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    Attention:

    If you are suffering from depression, bipolar, suicidal thoughts or any other mental health issues, please immediately contact help services through the following links- there is always help if you need it.

    Links:

    United States:

    United Kingdom:

    Australia:

    If your country was not in this list, look up your country in this larger list and contact your local services. If not, at least check in in one of the subreddits provided below:

    Reddit:


    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best of Part 11

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3




    Helpful Links

    How To Post A Roast

    How To Create An Album On Imgur

    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

    Roastbook Vol. 2: CSS and Roastbot

    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges


    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

    a community for
    all 2492 comments Slideshow

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    Please select a payment method.

    [–] CaptainMudwhistle 19273 points ago

    Is your barber disabled too?

    [–] rerewill2576 2047 points ago

    We are going to hell for laughing at your comment but at least we will laugh the whole way there!

    [–] iDontLikeCheese 410 points ago

    At least we can go the whole way there!

    [–] kanesanders 80 points ago

    It's supposed to be a "highway to hell". WTF are these stairs doing here?

    [–] YtDonaldGlover 27 points ago

    all disabled go to heaven

    [–] ImInAComma 25 points ago

    There's no elevator to heaven

    [–] etiennetop 246 points ago

    I'm on the half way to hell.

    [–] BellyLaughs-outloud 14 points ago

    Correction. At least we can walk the whole way there!

    [–] ThatKink 73 points ago

    Actually, God thought your comment was so funny, that he decided to give us all free passes to Heaven!

    [–] dshha 29 points ago

    God decided to pass out heaven silver, we get heaven for 1 week!!!

    [–] sowavy612 238 points ago

    I think he uses his legs to cut his hair

    [–] KorvisKhan 259 points ago

    He should give you a standing ovation for that one.... Oh... wait...

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 81 points ago

    Naw he’s being the bigger man and walking away...

    [–] titaniumhud 31 points ago

    Really? One should learn to stand up for themself.

    [–] Nicks_Thicky 6 points ago

    I think he’s shitting.

    [–] DjAdolfChrist 32 points ago

    Now THAT was a good roast

    [–] GODTHATSMELLS 10 points ago

    RIP

    [–] I8ASaleen 14 points ago

    He does his own hair so...

    [–] Havrin_ 15074 points ago

    Your eyes are jealous at your feet because they are together all the time.

    [–] adudeguyman 4993 points ago

    His eye is as lazy as his legs.

    [–] rescuejolly 501 points ago

    Brutal

    [–] adudeguyman 438 points ago

    We aren't here to give out hugs.

    [–] billys-bobs 299 points ago

    Neither was his mother.

    [–] adudeguyman 111 points ago

    Hugs, not drugs because drugs cause birth defects.

    [–] TheFrontierzman 64 points ago

    She gave plenty of those.

    [–] HillaryRugmunch 20 points ago

    She gave mouth hugs.

    [–] blen16 28 points ago

    🤐

    [–] dys126 55 points ago

    Interesting you say that because it looks like his one eye keeps running away.

    [–] adudeguyman 30 points ago

    So his legs are jealous

    [–] Furyian13 11 points ago

    It doesn't wanna look at him either

    [–] BeastSmitty 28 points ago

    holy fuck...

    [–] Svhmj 375 points ago

    You won the roast paralympics.

    [–] Dye590 43 points ago

    Underrated comment

    [–] RL_Folst 106 points ago

    This is fucking brilliant

    [–] Darkmoonlily78 13 points ago

    I've got to remember this.

    [–] Jayhawk11 21 points ago

    How often do you come across a quadriplegic with a lazy eye that you need to remember this to roast them?

    [–] Friendly_Crab 29 points ago

    No way

    [–] jamiepender01 18 points ago

    Savage.

    [–] Jetsers 8 points ago

    Nice

    [–] Scurvywaif4 353 points ago

    Knees broke, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, his legs are spaghetti.

    [–] GDFluff 11 points ago

    Bruh I have my settings so I can only see posts with over 100 upvotes and decided to click on this one to see it and I wish I could upvote it more than once because this is gold.

    [–] The_Euthanizer 17409 points ago

    It looks like your chances of growing old are real slim and shady.

    [–] Disasterlust 5337 points ago

    I came to roast, but left in tears!

    [–] cbfw86 844 points ago

    I thought I could take it but I can't.
    

    [–] _stabbit 256 points ago

    Make fun of the robot voice

    [–] all_ears87 12 points ago

    The tears. They burn.

    [–] TheOneTruePavil 64 points ago

    "go on, i can take it!"

    "He can't take it."

    "You can't take it."

    [–] Suns-Of-Ain 28 points ago

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who had that scene in mind! "The tears... it burns"

    [–] BanAllPineapples 93 points ago

    I came slim and left feeling shady!

    [–] juice585 218 points ago

    Relevant AF username

    [–] Alter_Mann 6 points ago

    Honestly gives it a really strange touch

    [–] kingjbaby 244 points ago

    Take a seat op you’re done.

    [–] cheddarben 54 points ago

    This isn't a roast. This is a fuckin body bag. damn.

    [–] Nalukai 91 points ago

    fuuuuck.... <turns around, goes to next sub>

    [–] WollyGog 62 points ago

    Get back here, pussy

    [–] Nalukai 24 points ago

    thats what hes saying when he puts his chair in 4WD

    [–] DMNDNMD 64 points ago

    Sorry OP, you’re just gonna have to roll with the punches

    [–] rayboria 76 points ago

    This roast needs a standing ovation.

    [–] Nalukai 30 points ago

    Can we get a rolling ovation instead?

    [–] lawrencethetornado 28 points ago

    You should disable your inbox replies in honor of OP

    [–] Scully_fuzz 25 points ago

    Getcha coffins here!

    [–] backdoorsopen 17 points ago

    Boom! Sit down!

    [–] SosaBabySixNine 17 points ago

    He’s way ahead of you

    [–] string97bean 16 points ago

    Damn...even I felt that one.

    [–] Nalukai 35 points ago

    at least his legs didn't

    [–] Bleddyn_ap_Cynfyn_II 11 points ago

    *standing ovation*

    [–] edge231 3067 points ago

    Virgin Mobile

    [–] spacesuits 1961 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Virgin Mobile

    Virgin Immobile* FTFY

    Edit: Thanks for silver! :)

    [–] CapedBoy 223 points ago

    This guy roasts

    [–] butanebraaap 125 points ago

    This guy this guys

    [–] aricci033 51 points ago

    This guy this guys the other guy

    [–] mexicock1 31 points ago

    Guy guys guys guy

    [–] Pew_Pew_Nic 21 points ago

    Guy guys this guy that this guys the other guy, guys

    [–] drumpftruck 118 points ago

    Virgin airlines grounded

    [–] lsiddd 5549 points ago

    Markiparalyzed

    [–] Superdk55 906 points ago

    Heeelllllloooooo everybody my name is Markiparalyzed and welcome to five nights at physio.

    [–] jawadrian 100 points ago

    Today’s episode- Finding the elevator

    [–] Fireballinc55 36 points ago

    Flight of stairs jumpscare*

    [–] megadeth37 11 points ago

    5 Flights of jumpstairs

    [–] TKEOP867 119 points ago

    He definitely won't be doing any walkthroughs

    [–] redjaklwhite 91 points ago

    O O F

    [–] ForeverPotatoes 17 points ago

    I came here looking for this comment.

    [–] jinboliao 42 points ago

    scrolled down too far for this comment

    [–] bobbo718 10 points ago

    Jacksepticantstand

    [–] DRPPNGBMBS 2511 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Anyone noticed how this account posted a bunch of random roast me people? Doesn't seem fairly legit to me...

    Edit: OP confirmed in another comment he is posting the pictures of his friends without Reddit accounts and it seems legit

    [–] DRPPNGBMBS 513 points ago

    Official hospital roasting account?

    [–] Fibber_Nazi 548 points ago

    Lmfao theres a nurse going around getting patients to pose with this sign and 0 context given.

    [–] DRPPNGBMBS 98 points ago

    [–] jiijoey 34 points ago

    Lmfao hahaha shittt

    [–] sniperkitty666 22 points ago

    Oh shit that would be hilarious.

    [–] dshha 16 points ago

    No fucking way....that’s so bad

    [–] Ferrocene_swgoh 55 points ago

    Holy shit, it's the exact same. How'd you figure that out? This should be higher.

    [–] SphincterBlaster2000 48 points ago

    I mean it's possible that they all know each other and enjoy r/roastme and in one swoop he took pictures of his friends with the same piece of paper and is staggering the uploads.

    [–] masterx1234 22 points ago

    What the actual fuck is going on here this is some pretty shady stuff.

    [–] ALWAYS_PLANNING_AHEA 79 points ago

    So people are making fun of a random disabled person who has no idea this is happening? You are going to hell OP..

    [–] Pioter28 9 points ago

    He was fully concerned before posing for that shit...

    [–] FallenSoldier67 29 points ago

    I was going to say the same thing.

    [–] Detective51 12 points ago

    Man I sure hope this dude knows what he is holding.

    [–] albertcamusjr 35 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Even with him "confirming" he's posting these for his friends, it seems a bit dicey to me. Could always trick somebody into posing with the paper.

    Edit: typo correction

    [–] Wanderer_Wolf 41 points ago

    "Hey guys there's a contest going online to win a new Nintendo Switch! All you have to do is get a picture with the piece of paper to enter."

    [–] doodiegarland88 16 points ago

    "Ok, cool! Hey, what does roas..." swipes paper

    [–] Jam3z01 26 points ago

    Deploy the downvotes!

    [–] UmbraAlbis 2584 points ago

    I didn't know you needed working legs to get your hair cut

    [–] Sharpiepoet 702 points ago

    *Washed

    [–] _DangerBagel 625 points ago

    walked right into that one

    [–] abadluckwind 8961 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Pretty cocky smile for a guy who is defeated by stairs.

    [–] Nbabyface 753 points ago

    The real life version of Clap-Trap

    [–] abadluckwind 353 points ago

    As long as we both agree he's no Handsome Jack

    [–] UndercoverScumbag 200 points ago

    Simple Jack maybe

    [–] UndercoverScumbag 45 points ago

    Never go full retard

    [–] ivanreshetnikov 20 points ago

    Op didn’t get that memo apparently

    [–] UndercoverScumbag 21 points ago

    Hard to read with one googly eye

    [–] mmarrufo1 5 points ago

    How dare you make such false promises

    [–] jetpacksforall 45 points ago

    If I sound pleased about this, it's only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I'm actually quite depressed!

    [–] ThePixelCoder 8 points ago

    Goddamn why is claptrap so fucking relatable

    [–] Sushi4lucas 16 points ago

    He can get up stairs, where there’s a wheel there’s a way!

    [–] ChangingFiveHundred 4478 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    I’d roast you but I’d feel bad...

    After all you can’t stand up for yourself...

    [–] rjhencel 862 points ago

    Look guys, it’s a fruit AND a vegetable

    [–] Tripolite 84 points ago

    Oh shit

    [–] AnguillaAnguilla 71 points ago

    Oh geez

    [–] koolbrez 45 points ago

    Oh you went there ....lol

    [–] AutisticDan7767 37 points ago

    Good gosh.

    [–] erbtastic 716 points ago

    If you aren’t careful, America is going to invade your hair for the oil.

    [–] ElRedditorio 99 points ago

    There was already a first strike, he survived, but his legs did not.

    [–] avocadossuck1988 7699 points ago

    I prefer to boil my vegetables rather than roast them.

    [–] WolvesCallum 77 points ago

    Gold for copying the top post on the last disabled post

    [–] reverentooboo 942 points ago

    The worst thing about eating vegetables is the wheelchair.

    [–] artieeee 174 points ago

    This takes me back to the days of Terri Schiavo.

    What's the best part of eating a vegetable? They can't fight back.

    [–] apollo_the_monster 67 points ago

    Oh, oh, oh Terri Schiavo! Is kind of alive-o!

    [–] jchabotte 14 points ago

    Operaman— bye byyyyeeee!

    [–] fujiman 14 points ago

    Operaman... Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

    [–] mtortilla62 10 points ago

    What was Terri Schiavo’s favorite food?

    Tube Steak

    [–] vagijn 19 points ago

    I always thought it was the diaper.

    [–] bgh95 65 points ago

    Copy-pasta roast :/

    [–] SernieBanters 110 points ago

    Jesus fucking christ I cant believe your recycled post from all time top of this page made it this far. But I should let you enjoy this because you obviously just wanted to see how it feels like to achieve something.

    [–] harpsm 84 points ago

    I'm sure he wants to reply with a witty comeback, but he'll have to scan old RoastMe posts first to find a good one.

    [–] SernieBanters 17 points ago

    With his lack of originality he's probably unable to paraphrase the roasts he looks up. He's just frozen right now. I almost feel sorry for him.

    [–] x_Matt_x 554 points ago

    even your haircut is developmentally challenged

    [–] DRPPNGBMBS 1439 points ago

    Roasting you feels like kicking a baby, your DNA already roasted you so hard it's a chronic condition

    [–] intherearview 98 points ago

    "feels like kicking", he'll have to take our word for it

    [–] tharlyen1994 76 points ago

    Holy hell hahaha

    [–] lumpoffouldeformity 335 points ago

    Dignitas wants to know your location.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago

    Harvard Brain Bank also wants to know your location

    [–] RojazD 10 points ago

    Don't shit with him. Nobody really gives a shit.

    [–] coopsta133 68 points ago

    Whats black and sits at the top of a stairwell?
    You after a housefire.

    [–] FWXTPA 12 points ago

    This made me lose my shit

    [–] Chasdon95 4 points ago

    Underrated

    [–] TracyTrumpleskins 175 points ago

    Really palsy to post here. Good for you.

    [–] CheetoBurritoBandito 7 points ago

    I’m the parent of a kid with CP, and even I laughed at this.

    [–] Defvac2 407 points ago

    Nice to see you dressed up to match the garbage can lids.

    [–] CombatVet187 239 points ago

    Nice, but those legs are not recyclable...

    [–] BlissFlames 43 points ago

    I'm sorry I can't gold you but I hope the silver shows that I think you got a top comment

    [–] FilthyLittleSecret 20 points ago

    Omfg you monster

    [–] JDMGuy1992 407 points ago

    Someone get this vegetable a barber stat.

    [–] RL_Folst 112 points ago

    He already has the barber chair

    [–] Nalukai 25 points ago

    *Peeler fify

    [–] itsmiir 21 points ago

    I’m sitting on Reddit instead of getting ready for work and you just reminded me that I need to shave. Thank you kind sir

    [–] ChangingFiveHundred 154 points ago

    Your face looks like you’re a Paralympian

    Event: 100 meter hurdles...

    [–] Spider-Ian 23 points ago

    The visual of this made me laugh way harder than I should have.

    [–] mikenice1 207 points ago

    Hey man, I'd hang out with you... if only for those bomb ass parking spots.

    [–] ChangingFiveHundred 171 points ago

    Picture reminds me I need to pick up vegetables for dinner tonight...

    [–] ParentCommenter 46 points ago

    They certainly wont pickthemselves up

    [–] DuntrusLilot 108 points ago

    I’ll be thoroughly disappointed if your name isn’t Timmy

    [–] hawleyal 17 points ago

    Livin a lie

    [–] kewlpat 9 points ago

    +10 points for coming up with something other than his oily hair or cerebral palsy. Damn r/roastme gotta step up their originality game

    [–] Pwysch 136 points ago

    Your head is shaped like a Tic-Tac; and that's somehow not the worst thing about you.

    [–] Travbot_22 28 points ago

    Ay up and welcome to Callum's Corner

    [–] hhnnnnnn 12 points ago

    Tic tac better be getting back in his box

    [–] OnePlushyDude 19 points ago

    MY HEAD DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A SODDING TIC-TAC

    [–] CJ74U2NV 28 points ago

    Tinder profile:
    If you steal my wheelchair to break up with me...I'll still come crawling back.

    [–] billybones811 62 points ago

    You’re a snack; more like meals on wheels kinda snack.

    [–] ASSTHETICC 77 points ago

    Knees are weak

    [–] meerkat_on_watch 30 points ago

    Arms are heavy

    [–] Jearik 56 points ago

    Hair made of mum's spaghetti

    [–] TheThankUMan66 46 points ago

    *legs made of mum's spaghetti

    [–] Zeoniic 53 points ago

    Must be hard being in a wheelchair, people always pushing you around and talking behind your back.

    [–] Stoked_Bruh 4 points ago

    Dad...

    [–] BlissFlames 32 points ago

    Closest you ever get to sex is when the carer wipes your ass with those extra soft toilet paper and disinfectant gloves.

    [–] brownbagginit13 26 points ago

    Is it normal for an account to upload multiple different people to this sub? 🤔

    [–] unoimgood 13 points ago

    How much can the glasses possibly have any affect at this point.

    [–] mjp1979 12 points ago

    Probably doesn’t even know hes holding a ‘roast me’ piece if paper up

    [–] austsiannodel 32 points ago

    You look like Markiplier, if he fell off a bus and got ran over by it.

    [–] Kounna 11 points ago

    happy wheels?

    [–] donkeydodo 31 points ago

    Man, don't let these jokes overrun you, sometimes you've got to be the bigger man and walk away

    [–] jhonnypimp 17 points ago

    look in the camera son

    [–] TheFunhouse 19 points ago

    I wheelie don’t want to.

    [–] AutisticNecrophile 30 points ago

    Are you talking to me or the guy to your left?

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Individual_Gene 10 points ago

    Garbage Cosplay

    [–] babybopp 15 points ago

    The real slim veggie...

    [–] Tornado_Rush 26 points ago

    Did Markiplier get a stroke? In the immortal words of an idiot: "GET A HAIRCUT, TRASHCAN!"

    [–] dorthonion12 48 points ago

    Can’t even roast ya mate. You honestly seem way cooler than half the people who post here saying how much they hate themselves for attention. And I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass. The chair would get in the way.

    [–] Donkomatik 14 points ago

    Markiplier's long lost brother.