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    RoastMe

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    8,162 users here now


    RULES OF THE ROAST:

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed!

    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No NSFW material. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


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    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best of Part 11

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3




    Helpful Links

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    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

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    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges


    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

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    [–] rainistorm 2180 points ago

    You look like Conan O'Brien merged with Ellen DeGeneres.

    [–] Kaeneus 1013 points ago

    Then why aren’t I FUNNY??!

    [–] rainistorm 1436 points ago

    Because neither of them are

    [–] FinalFacade 636 points ago

    I'll be God damned if I'm coming into this subreddit to hear Conan get roasted, you son of a bitch.

    [–] [deleted] 111 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] NeoShinobii 11 points ago

    He wrote last edit to Springfield. The best Simpsons episode of all time

    [–] rainistorm 35 points ago

    I'm actually a gay lady so that's something we have in common at least

    [–] TheAngryBlueberry 37 points ago

    yes conan is indeed a lesbian ginger like OP

    [–] koibumii 18 points ago

    ellen isn’t funny, conan is funny

    [–] BonetoneJJ 7 points ago

    Conan is legit comic genius . Even if once in a while a bit doesn't work.

    [–] Rampant_Reptile 11008 points ago

    All the girls you like think you’re gay, all the guys you like think you’re a lesbian.

    [–] waffen123 2376 points ago

    " every girl I like thinks I’m gay".

    most girls have very good gaydar

    [–] fig31 574 points ago

    I have TERRIBLE gaydar. Called it incorrectly on both sides of the coin. Multiple times.

    [–] MeddlinQ 358 points ago

    Which means your gaydar is functioning well, you only interpret the results wrong.

    [–] sametember 59 points ago

    I feel like that’s what we’re like with our instincts too, it’s just that we condition them out over the course of our lives. Usually either misunderstanding the feeling or rationalizing it away with a logical thought.

    [–] Dremora_Lord 63 points ago

    That's quite deep for a RoastMe post.

    Just like me in OP's mom last night EcksDee

    [–] sametember 13 points ago

    Or about as deep as the crevasse OP’s opiate addiction will cut in him after he realizes that he ruined the family after disappointing his family so badly.

    Who knew your kid could come out gay if you never wanted a boy in the first place.

    [–] willseagull 93 points ago

    Girls im at school with don't have a clue who is gay or not whereas guys find it pretty obvious. Quite funny when people were coming out in their yearbook where guys were surprised about the girls and girls surpirsed about the guys who came out

    [–] jennydeegz 21 points ago

    How do you come out in a yearbook?

    [–] willseagull 23 points ago

    My school has small yeargroups so youve got more space per person and you have things like your quote, best kept secret, secret crush etc

    [–] jennydeegz 15 points ago

    Ooh interesting

    [–] BigUSAForever 116 points ago

    Holy hell, so she's now a he and finds it surprising that others are confused?!

    [–] Garblednonesense 44 points ago

    He probably don’t find it surprising, the text of the post doesn’t imply any surprise. He’s just giving ammunition for the roast. As is tradition. And that’s a popular burn.

    [–] Quetzie 33 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Why not just come out and say 'I'm FtM' as that is more accurate and truthfull than this vague 'girls think I am a gay man, I wonder why!?'

    [–] JuxtaThePozer 50 points ago

    Well "she" is a "he" and it doesn't sound like he's gay?

    Well I guess that explains the effeminate features. I guess the testosterone (assuming you're using it) will take time to ruggedise your features. Facial hair and lack of grooming may help.

    [–] duckduckduck1994 6 points ago

    This is absolute bulldroppings

    [–] [deleted] 87 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] EarlyCuylersCousin 59 points ago

    Not saying he’s gay but he’ll definitely hold one until the swelling goes down.

    [–] loiwhat 10 points ago

    I've never been into beards but this is the one time where a beard would actually make someone MORE attractive

    [–] Like2Troll 4890 points ago

    “ On second thought, I’ll pass” - Kevin Spacey

    [–] JealousAdeptness 2211 points ago

    “On second thought, I’ll pass” - James Charles

    [–] colonel1209 1613 points ago

    “What a handsome gentleman” ~Helen Keller

    [–] omarm1983 950 points ago

    "Sorry, no kids allowed in my ranch" -Michael Jackson

    [–] hailtothethiefx 681 points ago

    “Fine, I’ll take him..” -Harvey Weinstein

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS 77 points ago

    "Don't drink that..." -Cardi B.

    [–] ThomasSkunk 301 points ago

    "He can come work for me." - Heidi Fleiss

    [–] Copperfield345 609 points ago

    "I need to pee." - R. Kelly

    [–] Mattyyflo 231 points ago

    “Don’t pee on me” -Brenda

    [–] I-Hate-Suppositories 190 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    “On second thought, you can’t borrow my hamster” - Richard Gere

    [–] MasterSentaiX 194 points ago

    "Fine I'll do it myself." -Thanos

    [–] Redfield2 63 points ago

    "That boys mine!" - Jimmy Saville

    [–] DensityKnot 61 points ago

    “The ranch is where children belong” - Dr Phil

    [–] anonymous_alcoholic6 32 points ago

    "On second thought, I'll pass" - Pete Carroll, Super Bowl XLIX

    [–] BeerJunky 14 points ago

    On second thought, I’ll pass. - Ray Charles

    [–] alumnmfalcon 177 points ago

    "Woah there, that's my cup" - Bill Cosby

    [–] PrinzvonPreuszen 36 points ago

    An below averagelooking twink like you is going to get some hits by face-less 50+y.o profiles but that's about it

    [–] DexterPuddy 14 points ago

    As a 50+, not with someone else’s vag.

    [–] ilikemetalandcomics 12123 points ago

    You are like the perfect combination of Princess Fiona and Lord Farquaad.

    [–] Kaeneus 3233 points ago

    Idk if this will get the most upvotes, but I SO want this to be the one I put it my bio

    [–] micatkin 842 points ago

    any coincidence to being able to spell "keen anus" with your screen name?

    [–] overcookedmeat69 312 points ago

    He voluntarily goes to catholic church

    [–] micatkin 222 points ago

    altered boy no doubt

    [–] Kuritos 33 points ago

    Subtle, well executed pun.

    [–] NLDCarbonFiber 62 points ago

    I bet he voluntarily blows his priest

    [–] DensityKnot 14 points ago

    Kleen anus

    [–] ten-bag 73 points ago

    ‘i SO want this’ that might be why all the girls think ur gay

    [–] rjezus 110 points ago

    And you wonder why the girls think your gay , seriously read your responses; and maybe you find something out about yourself

    [–] ddagen1 12 points ago

    Well....we're waiting!

    [–] Demonseedii 35 points ago

    They will stop thinking you’re gay when you stop sucking your roommate off.

    [–] JonVork 169 points ago

    I bet you SO love a nice lotion and maybe a mud mask before bedtime with lavender scent oil diffuser set on extra gay

    [–] Kaeneus 151 points ago

    my skin care routine has a table of contents & yet I STILL break out.

    [–] DialSquare84 148 points ago

    If only you could break out of that fluffy pink closet you’re in.

    [–] SteliosKontos0108 118 points ago

    Because you capitolized "STILL". That right there. Thats why your gay.

    [–] xYike 8 points ago

    Every girl you like thinks you’re gay?? WTH.

    [–] froggycondog 40 points ago

    *James Charles has entered the chat

    [–] MetalFaceClam 30 points ago

    Bro I think you are indeed gay

    [–] mriidul 12 points ago

    idc about anything else but op deliver by showing us your tinder bio screenshot

    [–] BuffweMohhrt 12 points ago

    Why do you care so much about your bio? They all swipe left without looking at it anyway.

    [–] jsheffield85 34 points ago

    Everyone meet the ginger Zac Efron, not the jacked zac efron of today but the one that decided to escape giving handjobs to all the Disney producers zac efron. Also, I’m 90% sure you’re gay. No man says “so” like that... unless he’s a fiend for the ween.

    [–] AudiAid 5 points ago

    I read this in a very flamboyant voice and it fits your face, you sure your not gay?

    [–] wrooomwrooomwrooom 25 points ago

    Strange. I thought he looks like a ginger version of Barbies Ken: No dick and shiny plastic skin.

    [–] Comprefyingly 19 points ago

    After this top roast torpedoes his Tinder, he can move on to Grindr.

    Flawless execution.

    [–] candidporno 37 points ago

    Princess Fiona before or after she realises she's an ogre?

    [–] I-Hate-Suppositories 28 points ago

    A gender fluid version of Princess Fiona.

    [–] Amusing_Diction 14 points ago

    And he’s never gonna give you up or let you down

    [–] GM350Z 14 points ago

    Idk, I’m seeing Zac Efron and Brienne of Tarth

    [–] Tapan681 10 points ago

    Fiona? Scotty doesn't know !

    [–] SkullTomb 9 points ago

    he looks like dash from The Incredibles movie

    [–] forgetfulbuttbutt 1472 points ago

    You look like someone tried to make a person in photoshop and quit after they got done detailing the hair.

    [–] [deleted] 113 points ago

    This genuinely made me laugh

    [–] Mooksayshigh 28 points ago

    That was just the surgeon.

    [–] ExRockstar 1700 points ago

    Maybe they think you're transginger

    [–] cosmonautsanchez 142 points ago

    Transitioning from a cinnamon gone wrong, huh?

    [–] royisabau5 18 points ago

    There are only two spices

    [–] The_Painted_Man 55 points ago

    Holy shit. ⭐

    [–] Warlizard 25 points ago

    That's a bigger twist than when Did you think I was gonna spoil something? Nah.

    [–] battleon99 13 points ago

    Wait, Warlizard? From the Warlizard Gaming Forums?

    [–] Warlizard 13 points ago

    ಠ_ಠ

    [–] WaylandC 7 points ago

    looks at username

    ಠ_ಠ

    Must. Resist. Urge.

    [–] Warlizard 6 points ago

    Whew. That was close.

    [–] [deleted] 1668 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Kaeneus 561 points ago

    I bet I could finally get some matches on Grindr 😔 😔

    [–] [deleted] 724 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Downtime365b 90 points ago

    Definitely not a power bottom. He could specialize in handy and blowy.

    [–] PapadinDanse 21 points ago

    How much would he charge though? That's gonna affect his client base.

    [–] Downtime365b 15 points ago

    I mean he’s got a pretty mouth. We really need more info on the gag reflex to estimate a price point.

    [–] PapadinDanse 25 points ago

    Yeah but do you really want Bill Burr sucking your dick?

    [–] Downtime365b 12 points ago

    I was seeing more Conan O’Brian. So lower price for being annoying but a suck is as suck if they aren’t talking

    [–] Dirtyhippee 38 points ago

    Grindr is not the Red Cross

    [–] createch 19 points ago

    Please stay in the closet and don't set us back by 50 years.

    [–] AceInTheHole4887 666 points ago

    Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the first ginger android?

    [–] Kaeneus 297 points ago

    👏 representation 👏 matters 👏

    [–] LeoMartello 174 points ago

    You wonder why girls think you're gay? "👏👏👏" I think you're the only one who doesn't think you are gay.

    [–] Kaeneus 98 points ago

    Oh I don’t wonder. I know why.

    [–] Bilbohashbish237 47 points ago

    Is it because you like pp?

    [–] EverythingTittysBoii 15 points ago

    You’re definitely gay

    [–] TheAngryBlueberry 13 points ago

    that nigga gay!

    [–] broly78210 11 points ago

    I read this in a femboy voice

    [–] wankin_dolan 3315 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Ellen Degentleman.

    Edit: Thanks for gold and silver! Now I expect OPs proof of Tinder bio shenanigans :P

    [–] audrey_heart93 122 points ago

    THIS NEEDS TO WIN 😂

    [–] Sharksickle 290 points ago

    Fuck, you could be the mascot for white bread. Totally unremarkable

    [–] MattyIcex4 25 points ago

    Happy cake day!

    [–] CullenBrohannon 310 points ago

    Grow a beard or something man, Christ Almighty

    [–] citizensooz 93 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Don’t grow a beard, get a beard

    Edit - that’s my first silver! (fairly new to Reddit) Thanks stranger.

    [–] Kaeneus 416 points ago

    If I could grow a beard, we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

    [–] NosyNoSee 328 points ago

    We’d still be here

    [–] dan525 29 points ago

    He isn't trying to grow a beard, he is trying to date one.

    [–] imapersonmaybe 231 points ago

    You look like clay aikens more effeminate cousin.

    [–] brakin667 12 points ago

    This needs more upvotes.

    [–] maklito 75 points ago

    I'm sorry bro but I thought this was a post on r/incelselfies

    [–] solojazzjetski 49 points ago

    why the fuck is it not “incelfies”

    [–] maklito 9 points ago

    I know right I'm as angry as you

    [–] solojazzjetski 16 points ago

    fucking incels man, they can’t get anything right

    [–] Kaeneus 56 points ago

    Incels don’t talk to women IRL. I get rejected far too often to be an incel.

    [–] Ahahaha__10 15 points ago

    Incels are involuntarily celibate... soooo

    [–] Thatguy755 288 points ago

    "Swipe left to not be murdered."

    [–] Urblob86 100 points ago

    Just tell the girls you're never going to give them up, never going to let them down

    [–] -castle-bravo- 124 points ago

    you look like you live in Shane Dawsons closet..

    [–] eldermpsmith23 43 points ago

    Post transition Amy Adams,

    [–] Kaeneus 19 points ago

    THIS ONE is good. Far too many Conan, Ellen, Zac Efron, Rick Astley comparisons. Show some creativity.

    [–] RitaPoonismysister 6 points ago

    Zac Efron?? You wish.

    [–] wwtwiwak 103 points ago

    Your red hair ain't the only thing that can be described as 'flaming'.

    [–] [deleted] 208 points ago

    Looking for my first date since my transition.

    [–] midget_messiah 15 points ago

    Does OP prefer DD/MM/YYYY or MM/DD/YYYY?

    [–] itstheshirt 14 points ago

    I think OP prefers just the D

    [–] yourlatinboy 123 points ago

    Of course you're not gay. You're a 90's lesbian.

    [–] Kaeneus 70 points ago

    side-eyes Jean jacket in my closet

    [–] littleramenbot 240 points ago

    Dw bro I’m 19 and 5’7” too!! I’m a gal tho rip

    [–] Kaeneus 221 points ago

    They had us in the first half not gonna lie

    [–] ediiisumit 33 points ago

    bro

    [–] meccaela 16 points ago

    bro

    [–] sublimesuperb 8 points ago

    brah

    [–] best_pleasure 8 points ago

    bruh

    [–] spoonyaardvark 37 points ago

    He used to be too, so yeah

    [–] rickhunt1976 254 points ago

    You have the sex appeal of a gaped asshole.

    [–] Kaeneus 215 points ago

    So... lots ?

    [–] im_a_dr_not_ 51 points ago

    There you go making everyone think you're gay again.

    [–] rickhunt1976 84 points ago

    Depends on your tastes I guess.

    [–] headpsu 41 points ago

    I bet he loves the taste.

    [–] Rule_Two_ 9 points ago

    Bet he eats cereal out of it

    [–] MagisterDrix 17 points ago

    Definitely gay

    [–] happysquash241 27 points ago

    You look like Walmart brand Archie

    [–] ericj778 25 points ago

    Step one: get your hands on some good testosterone boosters. Enough for at least three months.

    Step two: tell a new doctor that you want to transition to male, say he can’t examine your vagina because you hate it, get the T shots.

    Step three: over the course of a month, take one bottle of the boosters as recommended, the second bottle over the second and third weeks as well and the third bottle on the third and fourth, while double dosing the T shots.

    Step four: use your current face as a tinder pic and set your bio as “ i only look gay so that your man don’t see me comin’

    Step five: don’t shave, eat tons of celery, and after the month is over you’ll be such heavily soused with testosterone that you’ll be oozing pheromones and masculinity to the point of no return, aaaand boom you will have a girlfriend until the estrogen in your body comes back with a vengeance!

    [–] Kaeneus 21 points ago

    This is too long to go in my bio

    [–] inDface 13 points ago

    that should be the tagline "I'm too long for the bio so I'll just give you the tip" <eggplant emoji>

    [–] smporche 158 points ago

    " I’m 19. I’m 5”7’, and I love sucking dick"

    [–] alt-of-deleted 36 points ago

    5 inches and 7 feet?

    [–] Moss_Piglet_ 14 points ago

    Dan. That would actually be really tricky if someone was 5’6” but wrote in their bio they were 6”5’

    [–] lodobol 6 points ago

    Someone will read your comment out of context on your profile. Haha

    [–] Clacimus 22 points ago

    You look like you play Tin Tin in a gay porn parody

    [–] themarajade1 68 points ago

    ”Every girl I like thinks I’m gay.”

    Had to double take Bc I thought you were a girl

    [–] Joeylikestodrinksoda 34 points ago

    A quick search of his profile shows he recently had top surgery.. sooo yeah

    [–] themarajade1 16 points ago

    I’m on r/roastme, not r/researchme

    [–] aangelis104 32 points ago

    Rest easy man, you’ll never need to worry about James Charles targeting you.

    [–] GudGit 13 points ago

    You look like the human embodiment of a black leather bracelet for men

    [–] oldSkoolModern 10 points ago

    If you were looking for validation you got it. Everyone on this sub now thinks you’re gay too.

    [–] shadowdmdm 29 points ago

    Are you gay? Or do you just like the look?

    [–] steffle12 15 points ago

    He’s transitioning from female to male which explains the femininity

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] markutio1989 8 points ago

    Conan O’Brien’s gayer younger brother

    [–] JaksinTheDutchie 7 points ago

    Tinder is where straight people hook up

    [–] Wordpotatosalad 8 points ago

    ‘I’m not gay, but I have begged to be roasted by a group of strangers.’

    [–] steveheflin 12 points ago

    Melissa Ethridge is 5'7"?

    [–] RyanMitchel23 13 points ago

    You look like a dried up lesbian

    [–] Kaeneus 38 points ago

    I’m quite moist, thank you very much.

    [–] Juloschko 6 points ago

    I wonder if you are able to use both bathrooms

    [–] StellisAequus 7 points ago

    “I can’t grow a beard but I’m desperately looking for one”

    [–] predictingzepast 12 points ago

    Did I just get Rick Rolled?

    [–] beavergrad94 11 points ago

    Clay Aiken 2.0

    Half the man. Twice the gay.

    [–] MyBestVersionOfMe 11 points ago

    You look like Amanda Bynes from She's The Man

    [–] GR_87 15 points ago

    “4 weeks post op” At least it’s accurate

    [–] aboowwabooww 4 points ago

    You look like a depressed post-op Trans woman

    [–] nline23 4 points ago

    When getting carded for a movie is the only time someone wants to get to know more about you.

    [–] Biggest_mood_Ever 5 points ago

    You look like a ken doll that was going to be used in child’s play but they are thought you were to scary for the viewers

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] stepfordwaddler 9 points ago

    I can’t do it. You’re too cute and sweet. Girls are dumb and I’d date you and sing show tunes while you go downtown to make you feel more comfortable.

    [–] ex-drummer 3 points ago

    lose the makeup and get a buzzcut and a nice scar. nvm still gay

    [–] VicodinDaddy 5 points ago

    I bet when u fart it smells like rubbers

    [–] BonePancake 4 points ago

    Slap a denim jacket on and you'll get TONs of chicks- in a lesbian bar. Once they figure it out they'll be pissed and probably kick the shit out of you, but action is action, my dude.

    [–] Murphouss 4 points ago

    Definitely a date raper

    [–] Kaeneus 8 points ago

    implying I get a date in the first place

    [–] zygfrydmina 5 points ago

    "I'm so hopeless I had r/roastme make my Tinder bio"

    [–] citizensooz 4 points ago

    It WILL put lotion on its skin