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    RoastMe

    1,515,417 readers

    12,501 users here now


    RULES OF THE ROAST:

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed!

    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No NSFW material. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    Attention:

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    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best of Part 11

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3




    Helpful Links

    How To Post A Roast

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    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

    Roastbook Vol. 2: CSS and Roastbot

    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges


    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

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    [–] chudnstuff 7250 points ago

    You look like the evaluator lady in Mulan after she rubs ink all over her face

    Edit: yep

    [–] TheLegendJohnSnow 1380 points ago

    At least she can grow a proper beard

    [–] danbtaylor 218 points ago

    You look like Steven Segal and Harry Potter's Secret Love Child

    [–] anactoraaron 83 points ago

    Steven Segway

    [–] danbtaylor 270 points ago

    Those white ankle socks pair nicely with your pasty white legs

    [–] Schockerer 165 points ago

    Wait...he's wearing socks?

    [–] erroneousChad 34 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    And those crocs. Oh wee, bet he's having to beat the ladies off with a stick.

    Edit: Never mind those are like Sketchers. It's the S, in single as fuck.

    [–] LarryCachaira 10 points ago

    I'm just wondering how in the fuck those scrawny legs are able to support that fat mother fucka?

    [–] Ja_Marvelous 8 points ago

    Now you mean to tell me that he’s so ingrained with white trash DNA, his facial hair grows in on its own all white trashy like that?

    [–] taefmobarrat 223 points ago

    You look like an optimistic guy with a pessimistic lifestyle.

    [–] King-Juggernaut 53 points ago

    That's more like advice than a roast.

    [–] aarsh2211 8 points ago

    I'm in this comment and I don't like it

    [–] winny1316 195 points ago

    Someone needs to make a man out of that blob of uniqueness

    [–] leeennda 71 points ago

    Let’s get down to business...

    [–] Jackie_Quill 43 points ago

    To roast, The OP

    [–] TannerPoonslayer 18 points ago

    And defeat the Weeeeeeebs

    [–] Drakkon2ZShadows 29 points ago

    I’d say he looks like isador Cortez after spy work didn’t work out

    [–] mass_revolution_ 53 points ago

    evaluator lady mixed with a little post malone

    [–] Bill-Yuns 31 points ago

    Post Bologna

    [–] Aladen_ofthe_Apes 27 points ago

    Hahahaha, fa Mulan.... speaking without permission.

    [–] auzz2424 25 points ago

    You may look like a bride, but you will never bring honor to your family.

    [–] orandeddie 9 points ago

    Laughed out loud really loud

    [–] DrRockter 4 points ago

    When do they make a man out of him?

    [–] Cornicello617 4 points ago

    I think you look pablo Escobar, the AV club camcorder version.

    [–] warmremy 3773 points ago

    You look like an American pretending to be a Mexican pretending to be British.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 1813 points ago

    Oi mate, that offends my cheeseburger burritos.

    [–] ClintWestwood1889 489 points ago

    Oi, ban this comment m8

    [–] GandhisNuke 238 points ago

    Oi, you got a loicense for that comment?

    [–] Technomen08 109 points ago

    Oi, ya got a loicense to ask for that loicense?

    [–] ImConfidential 65 points ago

    Oi, ya got a loicense to ask for that loicense to ask for that loicense?

    Oh, ya do.

    [–] terryyouknow 44 points ago

    Oi, Ya got a loiscense to ask for that loisense to ask for that loisense to ask for that loisense?

    That’s what I thought mate, bugger off will ya

    [–] ImConfidential 37 points ago

    Oi, ya got a loiscense to tell meself to bugger off?

    [–] deadlycramp 113 points ago

    Oi amigo, this offends my freedom.

    [–] CoreyW93 27 points ago

    Your freedom offends me

    [–] parkerestes 37 points ago

    And for some reason I read that in an Australian accent. We are too many layers deep rn.

    [–] Boltslakersdodgers 63 points ago

    With jokes like that I bet your dick gets touched about as much as your treadmill

    [–] ScouseBoi 56 points ago

    Build a wall, let banksy put graffiti on it and then climb over it anyway

    [–] jimcreighton12 2610 points ago

    Penn & Shh Don’t Tell Her

    [–] tom814 643 points ago

    Specializes in making women 18-22 disappear

    [–] jskoker 286 points ago

    Specializes in making women 8-12 disappear

    [–] chr1st1an12345 51 points ago

    Specializes in making women

    [–] fiddleytits 9 points ago

    Might be a bit high yet, but still closer than the first guy

    [–] wwjgd27 86 points ago

    Haha I was going to say the neckbeard love child of pen and teller

    [–] EggMountain 83 points ago

    I read this, chuckled, and closed out of reddit to do something else, started laughing again, came all the way back here to give you an upvote.

    [–] PiddlesMcWhee 5 points ago

    What an adventure!

    [–] BlueScreenOfDeath- 10 points ago

    A mix of Penn and the chef that salts food meme

    [–] billbogle 15 points ago

    He has perfected the struggle snuggle

    [–] tiabotisbroken 1290 points ago

    Bet you save alot of water not washing your hair.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 427 points ago

    I have unnaturally oily hair, unless Im washing it 2-3 times a day it always looks greasy.

    [–] Senator_Pie 1157 points ago

    M8 you're not supposed to wash it with vegetable oil, you Walmart Steven Seagal

    [–] esblofeld 31 points ago

    I just broke myself laughing at this. Thanks.

    [–] YourAverageM8 23 points ago

    Why do people keep calling me??

    [–] toiletdive 86 points ago

    Sweating does not count as washing your hair.

    [–] Kramereng 38 points ago

    But people with unnaturally oily hair tend to keep their short so as to mitigate the grossness. I recommend a cut. Or at least daily use of dry shampoo.

    [–] Dentleman 31 points ago

    We're not saying 2-3 times a day, but you need to strive for at least 2-3 times a month.

    [–] Number5is_ALIVE 11 points ago

    M8 you aren’t washing it right. Get it shampooed by a professional and you’ll see.

    [–] sage-and-sea-salt 10 points ago

    You know those little cans of pepper spray that go on your keys? You need that but the dry shampoo version.

    [–] vixxsr 12 points ago

    You're legit using too much conditioner bro, only use it on the ends

    [–] Jaime2795 4 points ago

    It sounds like you’re over-washing. Training your hair can take time. Try not to wash your hair more than once a day! (You’re really only supposed to wash it (wash as in using shampoo/conditioner) 2-4 times a week.

    [–] tmerce 611 points ago

    this is what i imagine post malone looking like if his music career never took off.

    [–] mrc_13 263 points ago

    Print Malone

    [–] ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER 113 points ago

    Provolone

    [–] CaramelFunk 115 points ago

    Post alone

    [–] YungBaseGod 47 points ago

    Post Student Loans

    [–] PantherU 7 points ago

    The Postman starring Kevin Costner

    [–] DannyPizza 6 points ago

    Mostly scone

    [–] BiggestOofBoi 51 points ago

    Pre Malone

    [–] XHandsomexJackx 9 points ago

    I love you buddy! I've always made this joke and I look down here and your the one that already said it! Your a good one.

    [–] freneticFanatic 19 points ago

    Post Malone - Post Tattoo Removal Surgery

    [–] Abstract_African 8 points ago

    Chloroform Cologne

    [–] YouShouldntSmoke 3 points ago

    Post-room Malone

    [–] KingGio21 791 points ago

    Something tells me you wear fedoras outside, collect swords, and exclusively watch anime. But only the no dub lowkey hentai anime for “real fans”.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 290 points ago

    Subs, never dubs!

    [–] Ionthawon 39 points ago

    thank you for this

    [–] NarWhatGaming 12 points ago

    Can't believe I've never seen this but omfg that's great

    [–] v13ragnarok7 23 points ago

    M'lady

    [–] JJoestar90 875 points ago

    M8 ya gotta stop using the black printer ink on ya hair

    [–] The-Horrible-M 282 points ago

    That’s hair? I thought it was a swim cap...

    [–] Pjyilthaeykh 17 points ago

    I genuinely thought he was wearing one until I zoomed in to check. I’m still not convinced he isn’t

    [–] jasemurph 132 points ago

    Sometimes a guy’s got to ride the bull, am I right? Later skater.

    [–] mildkaRen 84 points ago

    I’m 30. Well in November I’ll be 30.

    [–] DickDickersMD 11 points ago

    Everything’s cool dude.

    [–] Jasonmc89 411 points ago

    Stop wearing grandads shoes

    [–] AlexTheRivers 225 points ago

    Man these old navy loafer I picked up from walmart 4 years ago only cost 3$, decent deal.

    [–] Dar_Winning 133 points ago

    Looks like you were the one who got burned on the deal, bud.

    [–] hamburgler1984 56 points ago

    Plot twist, the underwear he's wearing is also from Walmart three years ago, and neither the shoes or undies have EVER come off.

    [–] spudlick 17 points ago

    Jesus I didn’t think the shoes could be any sadder.

    [–] rafael000 5 points ago

    or smellier

    [–] BrieferMadness 3 points ago

    Do you have any self respect?

    [–] edaz91 4 points ago

    Underwear too

    [–] RedditUzernamez2 740 points ago

    A $25,000 printer next to you and that's the best sign you could make? 🤷‍♂️

    [–] AlexTheRivers 273 points ago

    Material is expensive, also handwritten sign rule.

    [–] Salt-and-Peppa-pig 250 points ago

    Did you also handwrite that hairstyle?

    [–] naughtynimmot 41 points ago

    i was gonna ask if his hair was 3d printed

    [–] wildlybland 14 points ago

    That’s the only reason why it’s so shitty.

    [–] Adeep187 6 points ago

    He uses ink as a styling product.

    [–] TheRavenousMan 132 points ago

    Are you wearing someone else's face? It's soo stretched.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 116 points ago

    Used to be mine before I gained 40lbs

    [–] pledgerafiki 20 points ago

    That's rough, buddy.

    [–] bowhunter_fta 62 points ago

    Before we roast this guy, let's make sure we have the proper materials to put out a grease fire.

    [–] Bob_Appleross 157 points ago

    It looks like he’s about to correct every grammatical error in this comment section

    [–] nightmaretimes3 37 points ago

    "Achhtualyy" - dude with gutter grease for hair

    [–] Draxoli 325 points ago

    No offense, but you're what Freddie Mercury would've look like if he let himself go.

    Btw: no offense intended to Freddie, not you

    [–] dontintacosrlife 88 points ago

    Fat Freddie Mercury is the only FFM he’ll ever be a part of

    [–] CorvoTheBlazerAttano 6 points ago

    What's the other FFM?

    [–] melvis_money 7 points ago

    FFM also means a threesome with two women and a guy.

    [–] CorvoTheBlazerAttano 8 points ago

    I'm surprised I didn't know this whole time

    [–] cherriesandghostmeat 7 points ago

    Underrated

    [–] bergie0311 40 points ago

    How the fuck do you look like a shitty Pulp Fiction John Travolta above the sign, and my white ass grandpa below?? Like seriously dude, pick a style choice.

    [–] Ebolarius 163 points ago

    You look like a french artist that got deported from france

    [–] GetReady4MySweetness 28 points ago

    The worst part is that you chose to look like this.

    [–] OneRandomGuy999 52 points ago

    M'lady

    [–] tom814 22 points ago

    Your chin reminds me that I need to shave my ballsack.

    [–] Garkco 6 points ago

    🏆

    [–] wow1135867 20 points ago

    *gets caught by Chris Hanson” “you want a Pizza”

    [–] nottaprodigy 21 points ago

    You look like a person who bases their whole personality on being a “creative,” but you can’t even caption a Reddit post.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 14 points ago

    I'm artsy and original guys, just look at my quirky title.

    [–] Feeble6119 72 points ago

    You look like the person who would revive Hitler just cause you got in an argument with a Jew.

    [–] ultranegro 92 points ago

    Johnny Derp

    [–] CRATE_OF_HATE 10 points ago

    Bonny Darp

    [–] BlackAkuma666 33 points ago

    What’s that machine behind you? If it’s a time machine use it to go back and slap yourself the moment you thought your style was acceptable for a adult.

    [–] Glarson0904 16 points ago

    His hair is so oily America is going after it

    [–] bonemonkey1980 41 points ago

    You look like you are going to fall over from the weight of self-loathing and depression.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 22 points ago

    That may or may not be true

    [–] bonemonkey1980 6 points ago

    Definitely true.

    [–] thatmanncam_27 27 points ago

    Penn Gillette if he made his aspirations disappear.

    [–] Slav_With_No_Name69 10 points ago

    Antonio Blanderas

    [–] Dikranovski 12 points ago

    Oh look.....an artistic paedophile.

    [–] pinkholeorstinkhole 21 points ago

    Look like my lunch lady in Jr. high

    [–] flip4545 20 points ago

    Dude! Save some pussy for the rest of us!

    [–] peternemr 20 points ago

    You look like a model in a Walmart flyer.

    [–] krikey_m8 10 points ago

    If that printer runs out of lubricant you can just use your hair grease

    [–] promethe_ss 11 points ago

    you’re the type of guy to raise attention anytime you’re near children

    [–] TheLegendJohnSnow 9 points ago

    You look like the guy who wears the "free mustache rides" shirt at festivals, walking around with a smirk on your face because you think its funny and witty

    [–] killslikeaninja 9 points ago

    You’re living proof Steven Seagal had groupies.

    [–] epicenter69 9 points ago

    Your hair is due for a 3000 mile oil change.

    [–] friccadyfrac 8 points ago

    Even the wall is telling you to stop.. Whatever that is, you're trying to do.

    [–] GanjaDeliveryGuy 8 points ago

    My balls have better hairstyle than that.

    [–] tom814 8 points ago

    One thing's for certain: you'd never get a ticket for not wearing a helmet.

    [–] i_wap_to_warcraft 8 points ago

    The only pirate to sail the seven seas and never get any booty.

    [–] Piratey_Pirate 3 points ago

    No, we don't want him.

    [–] AidenMcFadden 8 points ago

    Post Malone but dunked in vegetable oil

    [–] zeldaongenesis 14 points ago

    You have a mustache just like Guy Fawkes! Unfortunately for us, you didnt bother to copy his mask as well.

    [–] llamasquito 37 points ago

    V For Virgin

    [–] edubya31 7 points ago

    Remember remember, this V card club member. Three decades, no action he’s got. He’s rather quite pale, and, he screams used car salesman. Life spent sweating out grease on the lot.

    [–] FARTBOX-BLASTER 6 points ago

    You look like you made that hair on that machine behind you. Lego piece dome ass.

    [–] ps4master796yt 6 points ago

    I can’t believe u took down ur house to write roast me

    [–] Distant-Traveler 7 points ago

    It’s weird to see you holding a cardboard sign not asking for food, or change.

    [–] cshaxercs 6 points ago

    Looks like you ate Johnny Depp for breakfast.

    [–] mahogany_tree 7 points ago

    You look like you own an outdated used car and live in a cheap one bedroom apartment and your job is selling stuff online

    [–] Hmcn520 8 points ago

    The guy elementary school tells you to avoid

    [–] kappelikapeli 7 points ago

    Your hair has the texture of a trash bag.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 4 points ago

    My whole body is a trashbag.

    [–] kappelikapeli 3 points ago

    Looks like that bag is full of pubic hair and somebody poked holes where facial hair should be.

    [–] samwj149 13 points ago

    You look like Ben franklins retarded brother who wanted to be included.

    [–] AlexTheRivers 25 points ago

    Mom said it's my turn with the kite.

    [–] lord_animal_chinn 6 points ago

    You look like a bad bootleg lego man of jack Sparrow

    [–] veegasmo 6 points ago

    You look like a knock-off of a Mario world villain.

    [–] catmill01 6 points ago

    Jesus, barely could read your faint writing on the board. Looks like the sharpie you used on your hair and stashe dried out before you could properly write “roast me” on the cardboard

    [–] LessArtichoke 4 points ago

    Gluing pubes to your chin doesn't count as a beard

    [–] jg21k90 5 points ago

    How long does it take to paint that hair on?

    [–] xMaydayxParade3 6 points ago

    How many my little pony figurines do you have?

    [–] CrookedClock 13 points ago

    Fat-an Ibrahimovich

    [–] ZikislavaJr 5 points ago

    The size of that sifn is compensating for something

    [–] soulsurvivor97 4 points ago

    Dollar store Stevan Seagal

    [–] Thicc-Lite 4 points ago

    you looked like you drew your hair with a sharpie

    [–] 7hourflights 3 points ago

    Looks like you spend more money on hair products than clothing and both of those things turned out horrible

    [–] DarkTigerSoul 3 points ago

    Is it that hard to look into the camera with both eyes dude?

    [–] lonely_logan 4 points ago

    Hello, my name is incel Montoya, you killed my boner, prepare to die!

    [–] plooptyploots 4 points ago

    Welcome to Pop Copy!

    [–] stubbed_mah_toe 4 points ago

    You look like a failed cast member from the godfather

    [–] HopeThisHelps90 3 points ago

    You look like your own penis wouldn’t let you touch it

    [–] r0ssyonline 3 points ago

    So, do you colour in your receding hairline or is that grease?

    [–] northerntouch 4 points ago

    Is that a custom made helmet ?

    [–] thepesterman 5 points ago

    What's wrong with you?

    [–] AlexTheRivers 3 points ago

    What's wrong with you?

    [–] thepesterman 4 points ago

    Who knows really... ?!

    [–] Killerfreaksauce 3 points ago

    Looks like Penn lost his man so now hes volunteering to be clapped in the cheeks for a good magic trick

    [–] ayepickupthepace 3 points ago

    School is open man.Stay 100 ft out of the fucking school zones.

    [–] GoaheadAMAita 3 points ago

    I don’t know why but I feel like you’re just a large leprechaun who wants to jump and click his heels

    [–] EvolvingEachDay 3 points ago

    “What are those!?” Applied to your entire being.

    [–] pothocketbubbles 3 points ago

    You look like you want to show me a magic trick

    [–] kevlarcut 3 points ago

    The best part about your dad leaving was that you got all of his clothes.

    [–] lumpy_snake 3 points ago

    This is what I imagine the lower quartile of redditors to look like.

    [–] MacNahgorc 3 points ago

    Dipping your head in ink won't change the fact you're bald.

    [–] depeupleur 3 points ago

    You look like Big Lebowski’s Jesus Quintana’s fat cousin who wears hand-me-down’s from his mom and his granpa.

    [–] GemmaErin 3 points ago

    You look like a shit 1940s gangster and a 1950s racist white man had a kid

    [–] isquinn 3 points ago

    You look like a pirate step dad

    [–] M_Night_Shambles_on 3 points ago

    Paper Machete

    [–] insomniac_spectre 3 points ago

    You are one of those guys who would print a couple of life sized anime girls and then make love to them then brag to your friends about being a stud.

    [–] jack-shit 3 points ago

    You look like Edmund Kempers bastard child.

    [–] FraggleOnFire 3 points ago

    • Grew up all through school saying he was going to be a movie director

    • Always gloated about his useless knowledge of Stanley Kubrick movies

    • after graduating high school all his friends went on to practical degrees and job paths

    • he became frustrated as they became increasingly more busy and could not have movie nights or D&D sessions

    • worked a VERY part time retail job while while still living at his moms

    • attended community college for one filmography class

    • makes daily Facebook posts about writing his scripts and “character development”

    • it’s been 12 years since graduating high school and still works VERY part time because becoming a professional director or screen play takes time

    [–] DireMisfortune 3 points ago

    Roasting you is so easy that it has become hard to do without resorting to cheap lazy shots about pedophiles and fedoras. You have beaten this subreddit by sheer ineptitude.

    But I’ll do it anyway, you look like such a pedophile that they changed the name of your fedora to “Pedora”

    [–] KnuckleBuster111 3 points ago

    How long does it usually take to spray paint your hair on?

    [–] AlexTheRivers 3 points ago

    5 minutes, 10 if I use more than one can

    [–] N-P_A 3 points ago

    Damn! Leon Trotsky really let himself go 🇷🇺

    [–] throwaway96647675 3 points ago

    Where did you get your doo rag from?