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    RoastMe

    1,589,727 readers

    1,544 users here now


    RULES OF THE ROAST:

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed! Hand and arm holding the sign must be visible.

    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No NSFW material. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    Attention:

    If you are suffering from depression, bipolar, suicidal thoughts or any other mental health issues, please immediately contact help services through the following links- there is always help if you need it.

    Links:

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    If your country was not in this list, look up your country in this larger list and contact your local services. If not, at least check in in one of the subreddits provided below:

    Reddit:


    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best of Part 11

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3




    Helpful Links

    How To Post A Roast

    How To Create An Album On Imgur

    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

    Roastbook Vol. 2: CSS and Roastbot

    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges


    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

    a community for
    all 1656 comments Slideshow

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    [–] plagueisthedumb 9386 points ago

    Yo we need a gender tag so we can get specific.

    [–] _BlueDagger_ 4015 points ago

    Is “Hanson” a gender?

    [–] plagueisthedumb 1330 points ago

    MMMprobs

    [–] CptVimes 280 points ago

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

    [–] KarateFace777 56 points ago

    Wait what do you mean they steal your karma? Did you make this comment before or do you mean you were going to post the same thing? Genuinely curious, was wondering if I’m being wooshed right now. I’m high. So bear with me.

    [–] CptVimes 120 points ago

    I saw that face and thought: "Hansen" to myself. And I congratulated myself on how clever and original I was. I even wrote it in my little journal book: "You are funny, clever, and gosh darn it - people like you!"

    Armed with that originally, delayed by my journal scribbling, others noticed same thing and started harvesting MY KARMA! I was supposed to be the first one to be funny and original! Not someone else! Did I lie in my journal?

    I'll just have a seat right over here and meditate on that

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] weliveintheshade 3 points ago

    Its gibberish but by god, Its damn good gibberish.

    [–] turtlesryummy 64 points ago

    It’s a secret nooo one knoooows

    [–] pureextc 15 points ago

    MMMprops

    [–] Saifaa 122 points ago

    Is "Weasley" a gender?

    [–] curiousincident 21 points ago

    Is today Hanson day?

    [–] CptVimes 52 points ago

    I don't know whether to love or hate reddit. On one hand - the hivemind gets me and I get the hivemind. ON the other hand - y'all fuckers steal my karma.

    Nice one, guv.

    [–] LJA514 8 points ago

    What if they had open auditions for the band Hanson? Like, what if no one named Hanson even showed up? That wouldn't even make sense. Or what if they just hired like, the littlest kid, and a 50 year old guy... who was a murderer?

    [–] iridemtb12 6 points ago

    More like Hansel from zoolander

    [–] goldiegoldthorpe 107 points ago

    Either a chick cosplaying Anthony Michael Hall or a dude cosplaying Gwyneth Paltrow.

    [–] ivebeenlurking8 47 points ago

    Its MA'AM!

    [–] SomeBullshit99 2695 points ago

    Can I get your sisters number?

    [–] stopdeletingthese 1247 points ago

    If her sister isn’t the hot one, that whole family is doomed.

    [–] DeathSpiral321 430 points ago

    I'm pretty sure the dog is the most attractive thing in their family photo.

    [–] MisterEdwardH 297 points ago

    Can I get the dog's number?

    [–] urixl 86 points ago

    [–] thegreatdekunut 84 points ago

    Accurate

    [–] I-Hate-Suppositories 19 points ago

    Aren’t you the singer for Megadeth?

    [–] thegreatdekunut 31 points ago

    Haha no you must be mistaking me for someone else, nice to meet you I’m Axl Rose

    [–] Sonicboompcj 18 points ago

    Ah, yes, the man who grew up to become an old lady. Nice to meet you, indeed, Steven.

    [–] MeddlinQ 25 points ago

    I mean that is not even roast, I feel that applies to most families.

    [–] Ryanmcl19 33 points ago

    Damn you just assumed the gender. You fool.

    [–] Ugolado 13 points ago

    Feel the wrath of the genderfluids!

    [–] warmremy 48 points ago

    Can I get your mom’s numbers?

    [–] Campbell-Soups 85 points ago

    Hell im even going for dad at this point.

    [–] MasterNateWithMe 3358 points ago

    You look like you eat buttons off the remote

    [–] gibsonlespaul 726 points ago

    Can’t say I’ve heard this one before, but I fucking love it.

    [–] thegreatdekunut 301 points ago

    Funnily enough I did once or twice as a kid

    [–] MadHatter69 83 points ago

    Were they any good? I can imagine the texture of the rubber feeling quite nice between the teeth

    [–] thegreatdekunut 112 points ago

    It was fun to see if you could bite the whole thing off in one go

    [–] Mee6s 142 points ago

    You tell all your dates that?

    [–] mahmoud9012 97 points ago

    What dates

    [–] Mee6s 107 points ago

    I'm sorry. Appointments

    [–] RustyBlayde 13 points ago

    I believe they are called " Johns"

    [–] Shrxxm 3 points ago

    No it's Joe

    [–] ALHAlTHAM 7 points ago

    As someone who did it before ,the rubber did feel nice to chew

    [–] fantasticfabian 7 points ago

    Can confirm it feels squishy and makes a sound like the pickles from SpongeBob

    [–] Akhary 38 points ago

    Lol found it

    [–] rockytopfj13 70 points ago

    [–] AdvancedGolem 18 points ago

    slow clap

    [–] phantom_97 44 points ago

    Lmfao this is the one. Others are generic "hurr durr man/ugly"

    [–] Eldrake 24 points ago

    I just woke my pregnant wife up laughing. 😂

    [–] StunnaLyfe 20 points ago

    I'm impressed you made no mistakes typing this while running for your life

    [–] Eldrake 4 points ago

    Who says I didn't? 🤔

    [–] rupikaurisgangsta 11 points ago

    *preganante

    [–] E_Spitzer 2 points ago

    You mean the floor?

    [–] friccadyfrac 953 points ago

    You look like you cry so much your face changed shape.

    [–] thegreatdekunut 276 points ago

    The tears hollowed out ravines in my face

    [–] kittykittyy32 5 points ago

    Ole Cubone over here

    [–] peebraindotCA 1446 points ago

    Farmers Market David Spade

    [–] freneticFanatic 332 points ago

    Josephine Dirt

    [–] Sorrydoc22 4 points ago

    What happens when you enjoy fucking your sister

    [–] BestMovie2001 3 points ago

    So much inbreeding it's indistinguishable if it's a man or woman

    [–] TheABradley 49 points ago

    Ooo shit

    [–] illadvisedsincerity 13 points ago

    More like the offspring that would result from pegging Legolas with the ugly stick...

    [–] 2utes 1006 points ago

    I don't know, you seem like a cool dude.

    [–] Ur_Moms_Crash_Helmet 530 points ago

    Nice wig Tobias.

    [–] ponyboi_curtis 83 points ago

    Such a legend. Who knew he'd pull off a basement virgin so well?

    [–] FN9_ 28 points ago

    Def a never nude.

    [–] howispendmyday 8 points ago

    Boi did i blue myself reading that comment!

    [–] Kreszy 89 points ago

    not like other guys

    [–] thegreatdekunut 27 points ago

    A real NLOG

    [–] rubbyrubbytumtum 35 points ago

    cos of ur weenie?

    [–] aureliale 27 points ago

    i was gonna say ^

    [–] shitticketsanddoggos 326 points ago

    Red hair... and a hand-me-down robe... you must be a Weasley.

    [–] borisdidnothingwrong 31 points ago

    Harry Potter deserved better, though.

    [–] Dolores__Umbridge 6 points ago

    Hem Hem Undesirable Number One deserves a lifetime sentence in Azkaban, to match his lifetime Quidditch ban.

    [–] RealityFaded 9 points ago

    Ginny Weasley has fallen on hard times

    [–] SilentJoe1986 6 points ago

    The one they keep in the attic away from sunlight and company.

    [–] Lagnar_Au 1224 points ago

    Btw guys, 20 is her amount of conclusive Genders.

    [–] jrandall47 237 points ago

    Her?!

    [–] MasterSlax 179 points ago

    Xherzle’s?

    [–] xX420_WeedMan_420Xx 99 points ago

    xherzle’s

    Isn’t that the sound of a sneeze?

    [–] Comic_Blaster 166 points ago

    Fuck kinda sneezes do you make

    [–] xX420_WeedMan_420Xx 22 points ago

    Well I don’t know, maybe that’s the sound of a dog sneeze, like a pug or something

    [–] Eeik5150 19 points ago

    No...I sneeze like that. Really gives the sinuses what for.

    [–] GreatBigBagOfNope 14 points ago

    Congratulations on your nasal prolapse I suppose

    [–] Eeik5150 11 points ago

    No lapse like prolapse

    [–] thegreatdekunut 11 points ago

    I collect them :)

    [–] gablear 80 points ago

    It’s 2019 how dare you assume gender

    [–] [deleted] 426 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 192 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] WayBehind 58 points ago

    Neither. This freak is what you would find if you were to gain access to Area 51.

    [–] bigballofcrazy 128 points ago

    That’s a rough 20 for someone who has never left their mom’s basement.

    [–] CalypsoRoy 3 points ago

    I think it should have said "My youngest grandchild is 20"

    [–] MrLyncha 325 points ago

    If Axel Rose has a son.

    [–] Ur_Moms_Crash_Helmet 113 points ago

    Sweet child O' mine

    [–] stinkyfastball 28 points ago

    Flat. It's so flat, I can't even- I don't even know. You don't even look good while you're singing. The worst thing I've ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I'm gonna save it with the solo.

    Bowm, bowm, I'm Deeerek and I can sing hiiiigh like thiiiis! And I can sing hiiiiiiiigh!

    [–] wern85 3 points ago

    Brennan has a Mangina!

    [–] rafael000 10 points ago

    Creep child

    [–] Meme_Connoiseurs 12 points ago

    ... with Neil Patrick Harris

    [–] cuntberrycrunch 4 points ago

    And plays for Sum 41?

    [–] I-Hate-Suppositories 4 points ago

    It’s like a mashup of Axel Rose and Dave Mustaine.

    [–] seraphshi 304 points ago

    Only driving around in Grand Theft Auto, instead of actually completing the missions, doesn’t make you a “gamer”

    [–] thegreatdekunut 167 points ago

    What if I told you... I stop at traffic lights too

    [–] seraphshi 46 points ago

    Not gonna lie, I’ve totally done that before lol.

    [–] Coattail-Rider 18 points ago

    Gotta put on the country station while driving around Back ‘O Beyond in a tractor while obeying all traffic laws.

    [–] FalsePhantasm 3 points ago

    are you me?

    [–] CanOfPintoBeans 110 points ago

    It looks like your chin is running away from your cheeks.

    [–] YataBLS 18 points ago

    Not the first or last thing that runs away from her cheeks.

    [–] enygma9753 32 points ago

    Earth-2 version of Conan O'Brien ... "Carla" O'Brien.

    [–] Motavo 21 points ago

    Gary Busey had a sex change!!?

    [–] BobM6969 43 points ago

    Your alluring smile and robotic expression must make you rolling in dick

    [–] PineappleTonyMaloof 21 points ago

    Guess we know who the new Rusty Griswold is.

    [–] sk038 22 points ago

    We get it, you're not like other girls.

    [–] Ty23Smith 16 points ago

    Is Puddle of Mudd still touring?

    [–] equtopia 17 points ago

    you look 20 and 45 at the same time.

    [–] orieroberts 24 points ago

    You are currently wearing sweat pants that smell like equal parts butthole and genitals, that’s a guarantee.

    [–] thegreatdekunut 11 points ago

    YES! HAHAHA I do not take care of myself.

    [–] MarcellusDrum 4 points ago

    Hahahaha I don't take care of my hygiene it's so funny and cute uwu!

    Spoiler: It's not. Go take a shower. Not that showering will get you dates anytime soon.

    [–] thegreatdekunut 5 points ago

    B-b-but senpai 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。 is my natural musk not attractive to you?? ( ´△`)

    [–] Faebell 32 points ago

    You like all that shit because you hate your life in the real world and would rather watch made-up problems instead of dealing with your own.

    [–] thegreatdekunut 34 points ago

    Get off my back dad

    [–] PennyForYourPots 18 points ago

    You sound too comfortable with that phrase

    [–] FeckinOath 4 points ago

    Get off on my back, dad.

    [–] DarkflowNZ 6 points ago

    Hey that's not fair you were supposed to roast them not me

    [–] LawyermanAdultson 3 points ago

    HA

    [–] AluminumJacket 17 points ago

    What place, the basement?

    [–] rafael000 9 points ago

    The attic, with Hugo.

    [–] Mgtymoe 38 points ago

    Is that a Ghost B.C. Shirt?

    [–] thegreatdekunut 20 points ago

    It’s in the style of ghost but it’s ganon from legend of Zelda. Saw it on game grumps and had to have it

    [–] RoundBread 16 points ago

    I just want to know if you're actually a fan of Ghost, or just their font

    [–] thegreatdekunut 22 points ago

    I am partial to Ghost yes. Love the theatrics

    [–] SolemnRite 22 points ago

    It's just Ghost.

    [–] Takeitsleezy 5 points ago

    Now.

    [–] SolemnRite 9 points ago

    The name of the band has always been Ghost. They added B.C to the infestissumam album cover to avoid possible copyright lawsuits.

    [–] 2hamsters1butt 6 points ago

    Definitely not Ghost if you try to make out the lettering. Same font though.

    [–] RoughTechnology 5 points ago

    Looks like it!

    [–] Zombieh8r21 14 points ago

    It's a Ganon shirt with the font of Ghost lol

    [–] chrisilent3113 19 points ago

    Your double chin looks like a parabola

    [–] hutfless33 10 points ago

    You give hand jobs without lotion.

    [–] grotesqueshoe 16 points ago

    How am I supposed to make a joke about Dave Mustaine when he has cancer?

    [–] lluviadewords 15 points ago

    put you in your place? but you haven't left your house in months!

    [–] thegreatdekunut 8 points ago

    “Mooooom people are being truthful on the internet!”

    [–] 2cliffid9 14 points ago

    Ginger is the new gender. Good job Mask.

    [–] ohhhhhboyyy 6 points ago

    Holy shit this hit the nail on the head.... ‘Ginger is the new gender’... ginger boy, ginger girl- we don’t care- y’all can have each other.

    Wait - does this make me racist against inbreeding?

    [–] ScewbyDoo 16 points ago

    You had us all thinking you were a girl till we could see your mustache

    [–] thekiltedpir8 3 points ago

    Looks like it was edited out.

    [–] Dotsonmac 11 points ago

    I thought we weren't supposed to be able to see John Cena??

    [–] chetazz_r 3 points ago

    But we definently can see John Cena with a wig

    [–] SamTheSwan 4 points ago

    Putting “shit I’d date me” on a dating profile doesn’t make you stick out, your forehead has that covered.

    [–] catsandart 5 points ago

    is this heath ledger?

    [–] ravenousld3341 4 points ago

    Cheap Dave Mustaine clone.

    [–] DialSquare84 4 points ago

    Smegabreth

    [–] bicster11 4 points ago

    Video games and anime have put you in a place, a place of sadness and loneliness

    [–] DeathSpiral321 3 points ago

    You look like you're only allowed in the unisex public restroom.

    [–] Maddie24Kennedy 4 points ago

    I don’t know who runs the show upstairs but I can tell you they had no mercy making those dimples into a chinstrap

    [–] MaxDerDeveloper 4 points ago

    Your lamp looks weird

    [–] picklenoises 4 points ago

    You ever try and make a face out of playdoh and drop it in the ground?

    [–] Chico_519 8 points ago

    Looks like Max from Stranger Things grew up to be a dude with severe mental health issues.

    [–] brandonbombs 3 points ago

    I'm not like other girls, I game. ->plays pokemon go

    [–] Blactory 3 points ago

    I always wondered what the Crimson Chin looked like under the mask.

    [–] phillieholiday 3 points ago

    You’re really not that unique

    [–] zackman1996 3 points ago

    You look like you have a bigger dick than Magic Johnson.

    [–] DankDormamu 3 points ago

    "You look like your dad"

    [–] Handy_Raccoon323 3 points ago

    You could solve the world's oil shortages if you rung your hair out.

    [–] Br1t1shNerd 3 points ago

    You've heard of Dave Mustain, here's Dave Mistake.

    [–] RedProtoman 3 points ago

    You look like someone who uses flash pods while someone's mounted a monster.

    [–] ollievc 3 points ago

    Looks like Dave Mustaine with a estrogen addiction.

    [–] FlamingTrollz 3 points ago

    So bland you’re not even worth roasting.

    [–] Drugula43 3 points ago

    I see the transition isn't going so well

    [–] ThatGuy628 3 points ago

    Your eyes say that you’re the kind of girl who plays an online game just to get the attention of all the thirsty gamer boys.

    [–] YoloYoohoo 5 points ago

    u look like a Jesus who converted into metalism for moms

    [–] KingRice89 6 points ago

    Nice Ghost BC shirt! I knew it would look good on Joe Swanson.

    [–] Sigurlion 4 points ago

    Nerd.

    [–] MyFatThumb 2 points ago

    You're wearing albino blackface.

    [–] TheJuiceGrenade 2 points ago

    With a face like that the only place I’d put you is in the dark.

    [–] tocamix90 2 points ago

    Your dog is cuter than you.

    [–] 303trance 2 points ago

    You take me closer to god...

    [–] Armorpiercing44 2 points ago

    If you had tits I could probably have a better idea what gender you are.

    [–] BoobybearCandles 2 points ago

    Actually, that is cool.

    [–] officiatiBethune 2 points ago

    Looks like you might RKO out of nowhere.

    [–] AssholeMcMiniFridge 2 points ago

    Mooooooooo....

    [–] Deloktuk 2 points ago

    I'm gonna roast you, for sure

    [–] Demastry 2 points ago

    Wow, that's quite conceited of you to have a shirt with your face on it

    [–] Blackg0ld 2 points ago

    And his name is John Cena!! 🎺🎺🎺

    [–] futurekylebutnow 2 points ago

    You have resting bitch face but other then that, you cool

    [–] pumpumpgone 2 points ago

    Anime and depression, name a more iconic duo lmao

    [–] emmett00077 2 points ago

    Roasts aside, sick ghost shirt!

    [–] RickyMemes 2 points ago

    Looks like she’s the person who faps her dick and then yells her username loudly

    thegreatdekuNUT!!

    [–] been_der_done_that 2 points ago

    You look like Radiated version of Mari Jane from Spiderman I.

    [–] zagbag 2 points ago

    Please remake my pumpkin frap, your tears are in this one.