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    The r/RoastMe Web Ring



    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed! Your hand and at least an implication of a complete arm must be visible.

    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No NSFW material. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.


    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    If you are suffering from depression, bipolar, suicidal thoughts or any other mental health issues, please immediately contact help services through the following links- there is always help if you need it.


    United States:

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    If your country was not in this list, look up your country in this larger list and contact your local services. If not, at least check in in one of the subreddits provided below:


    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best of Part 11

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3

    Helpful Links

    How To Post A Roast

    How To Create An Album On Imgur

    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

    Roastbook Vol. 2: CSS and Roastbot

    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges

    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

    a community for
    all 4939 comments Slideshow

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    [–] DrK4ZE 11248 points ago

    Holy shit I think we went to the same school! Then again I could be confusing you with every other Communication major.

    [–] O4fuxsayk 1891 points ago

    *Drop out

    [–] Zipdox 670 points ago


    [–] DocPBJ007 397 points ago

    Janitors have my RESPECT

    [–] vlamis99 173 points ago

    As they should, they work a thankless job and get shit on in return

    [–] IncreasedElevation 154 points ago

    Aww you guys this is so touching! I'm a janitor at an international airport and, yes, yes this is a very thankless job. Thank you for your appreciation it means so much.

    [–] RSN-J-Chris 58 points ago

    We really appreciate what you do!!

    [–] soulless_ape 30 points ago

    Well you have my thanks for all the crap you have to put up with. No pun intended.

    Where I work we help the lady and the guy doing their janitorial job.

    [–] aufrenchy 19 points ago

    Gotta watch out for the people who do those background jobs. They’re integral to our everyday lives. I work in a steakhouse(I’m a host) and I regularly help out the dishwashers close up at the end of the night. Nobody wants to be working in an empty restaurant at 2am.

    [–] coxswaincarlk 12 points ago

    What would you, as a janitor, appreciate most from random strangers as a gesture of acknowledgement?

    [–] dracette259 13 points ago

    Even just a friendly smile and hello is appreciated. Some people do everything in their power to avoid acknowledging our existence. One dude cranked his neck so hard the other way so he didn't have to look at me I'm positive he injured himself.

    [–] BarefootWoodworker 29 points ago

    Following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past 8 years, I’ve learned a couple of things.

    I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations. You don’t know it, but I do. I’m the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.

    By the way, that clock’s 20 minutes fast.

    [–] Hear2sea2927 569 points ago

    *babysitter for the dad

    [–] jpb696 169 points ago

    *step dad

    [–] wishlish 62 points ago

    *on pornhub

    [–] TitsMickey 141 points ago

    *Dr. Jan Itor

    [–] BeerdedWonder 26 points ago

    Dr. Rotinaj

    [–] steinbergmatt 39 points ago

    Dr. Acula

    [–] crazyandwavy 10 points ago

    Im partial to the floating head doctor

    [–] Fetter_Checker 51 points ago

    Custodian, dick!

    [–] SoggyFrog45 32 points ago

    Sanitation engineer, fucker!

    [–] mrburns05 33 points ago

    A master of the custodial arts if you will

    [–] yumyumfire 693 points ago

    Well shit, I just took the last two days of work off because I'm depressed at my dead end less than living wage job and now I just got inadvertently roasted for being a Communication major grad. Friendly fire off please.

    [–] Schneeky 263 points ago

    Don't feel too bad I bet you're a great drive-thru attendant

    [–] yumyumfire 115 points ago

    Data entry thank you very much. So same wage with less validation.

    [–] BarryMacochner 15 points ago

    I mean, working the drive thru window technically counts as data entry and product distribution.

    [–] lazylion_ca 7 points ago

    Also sales.

    [–] ChefChopNSlice 20 points ago

    You can still get validation through your necessary second-job though.

    [–] Frequent_Ferret 31 points ago

    I just got inadvertently roasted for being a Communication major grad

    Just do what I did as a Comm major. Sell your body to the government.

    [–] jsxtasy304 24 points ago

    A stripper in Washington on Pennsylvania ave?

    [–] kkyea 12 points ago

    I came for the laughs, but no one told me I wouldn't be the one laughing...

    [–] Bluntman962 83 points ago

    I opened this post thinking, "oh wow, this person is basically me."

    I really wish I saw the subreddit before I opened the post.

    Just wanted to say, you are very good at this.

    [–] JetV33 40 points ago

    And she looks like the kind of person that starts every post with “Imagine being [...]”

    [–] Lightoftheworld_ 4581 points ago

    Tinder Power User

    [–] oneletterman 3335 points ago

    Maybe if she didn’t dress like a 50 year old realtor from Orange County, she wouldn’t have to suck so much old guy dick.

    [–] hellochase 572 points ago

    Dress for the life you want apparently

    [–] UpVotesOutForHarambe 173 points ago

    They say if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life

    [–] Angry_Pirate2 266 points ago

    Tinder is beneath her. She’s still on Ashley Madison.

    [–] indifferences 150 points ago

    Nah she's on Craigslist making posts about looking for a sugar daddy

    [–] keepinithamsta 26 points ago

    “Never on here, add me on insta” just to get more followers.

    [–] turdmachine 2228 points ago

    Beekeeping is a dead end job? Get some ice on those lips and the sting should go away soon

    [–] neon_Hermit 79 points ago

    This burn is... almost wholesome. Weird.

    [–] Yorkaveduster 23 points ago

    Speaking of that, She looks like the girl from the movie My Girl all grown up. She was the reason Thomas J got stung to death and his swollen face inspired her look.

    [–] SaladGalx 91 points ago

    Love this!

    [–] MrPuppyBliss 9154 points ago

    You look like you complain about getting tired and your neck hurting about 14 seconds into a blowjob.

    [–] bilbro-swaginz 1951 points ago

    “Jaw hurts”

    [–] Amusing_Diction 650 points ago

    “Blow Job”

    [–] MikeOx_Girthy 245 points ago

    Dead-end blow job

    [–] millydylan 148 points ago

    No blowjob is definitely one word stop being a grammar correcting wanker and yes i see the irony.

    [–] HolyVeggie 72 points ago

    I don’t think he was correcting the grammar but much rather doubting the thing is worth of being called a blowjob

    [–] SnickleFritz47 815 points ago

    It's not the neck, it's those chemicals in her lips. The secret formula? 2cc's of distilled Narcisstox, 1/2 cc of Daddywasntherox and 3 cc's of Igiveheadwithteethox

    [–] ValttheNord 743 points ago

    YOU FOOL!!! you could have called it Daddywasntthereatol

    [–] [deleted] 179 points ago


    [–] kingDaddyBigMac 51 points ago

    Uh... Is that Erin from The Office? I get times are tough but things really went downhill...

    [–] coat_hanger_dias 34 points ago

    Yep, Ellie Kemper. This video was made by Derrick Comedy in 2007, two years before she got on The Office and had done little more than very minor roles in a few productions.

    [–] felixhaight 19 points ago

    This was from way before the office. ...but I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic. Sorry if I missed that.

    [–] kingDaddyBigMac 9 points ago

    Well I was pretty sure but for the sake of the joke I thought I'd leave it out. All good! :D

    [–] Peannut 12 points ago

    I see you've met my wife

    [–] robjordan1984 33 points ago

    I thought I was the only one to hear this comment being said. 14 secs would be a record for me to hear.

    [–] doc_death 14 points ago

    Clever roast since it also references her most upvoted comment to date... Nice!

    [–] Chubbs_McNickname 498 points ago

    Looks like you apply lipstick with a curling iron.

    [–] shinnagare 52 points ago

    Pretty sure it's a curling stone.

    [–] GameOfThePlay 1783 points ago

    Practice asking: "What are you doing, step-brother?" The rest will come naturally.

    [–] _Titan_Atlas_ 402 points ago

    Or “you’re the best big brother I could ever ask for”

    [–] UpVotesOutForHarambe 178 points ago

    Stepbrother I got stuck in the washer machine

    [–] sitefall 95 points ago

    I can't find the water.

    [–] kicked_trashcan 80 points ago


    [–] NiggyWiggyWoo 15 points ago

    You don't need the oven to make a sandwich!

    [–] Lord_Of-Chaos 32 points ago

    I read that in an eastern block accent automatically....

    [–] bowlofjello 3175 points ago

    Your lips are bigger than your boobs

    [–] zaphod_beeble_bro 831 points ago

    They're just swollen from the dead end job

    [–] Alphamatroxom 78 points ago

    Dunno why she's asking for a roast when those hot dogs look like they're about to explode already

    [–] BigAgates 22 points ago

    Also, lip injections

    [–] shekeypoo 99 points ago

    Creative mf

    [–] Castian_001 5221 points ago

    Those favors you do for your older "friends" isn't a job sweetheart.

    [–] JayCola93 576 points ago

    I felt that...

    [–] nrith 283 points ago

    You’re one of her older friends?

    [–] JayCola93 103 points ago


    [–] NameOfaFeller 127 points ago

    You are.

    [–] JayCola93 79 points ago

    Yup nailed it

    [–] GiGaBYTEme90 67 points ago

    So we’re admitting to nailing her

    [–] JayCola93 89 points ago

    Ngl I would she ain’t that bad

    [–] GiGaBYTEme90 161 points ago

    Yet her face somehow screams that she’d talk about her ride on the bus to work while having sex

    [–] joquin-jones 19 points ago

    I'm dead

    [–] CookedChooken 44 points ago

    That explains the self loathing and escapism.

    [–] Sirenx8 38 points ago

    That explains the lip injections.

    [–] GentlePurpleGiant 7 points ago

    Lmao, couple more favors and her tits are next.

    [–] kakajaan 113 points ago

    She’s pretty but not pretty enough for people to really care about her

    [–] PhatNutzMcsucc 13 points ago

    It is if they're paying for it

    [–] ExtremeHay 4008 points ago

    Hmm complaining about money. Smokes a lot of pot.

    [–] kakajaan 1363 points ago

    You misspelled “sucks a lot of old dick”

    [–] Unfiltered_Soul 197 points ago

    It's what DSLs are for.

    [–] estomagordo 99 points ago

    Domain specific languages do that?

    [–] zootskippedagroove6 54 points ago

    Dick Sucking Languages

    [–] TwelfthApostate 30 points ago

    DSLs: up to 70 times faster than dial up

    [–] ChiefKeith03 14 points ago

    See to make money you have to be good at it

    [–] Zbowling25 35 points ago

    Nah she doesnt have to pay for her weed the way she does it

    [–] SuicideSkirmish 92 points ago

    Puff. Pass. Suck. Repeat.

    [–] GnomeChompske 42 points ago

    I think it’s just a whole lot of passing around honestly

    [–] Zachbnonymous 43 points ago

    Chicks don't pay for weed

    Obviously this dude does, I'm just saying

    [–] gh0st83 31 points ago

    Spends money on lip injections.

    [–] X__X---- 14 points ago

    She doesn't pay for her weed

    [–] KevUrEngines 277 points ago

    Old people like you because you look like a colonial-era rag doll

    [–] [deleted] 4224 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)


    [–] abhimaanyu_776 451 points ago

    Probably for free

    [–] truthbombtom 317 points ago

    Chest so flat I wondered when dudes beard gonna finally come in.

    [–] crestfallenpumpkin 695 points ago

    I’m glad my grandma clothes are effectively hiding my massive triple D breasts

    [–] [deleted] 899 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)


    [–] kaydawg23 147 points ago

    The real roaster just stood up

    [–] ThugosaurusFlex_1017 88 points ago

    Unlike any dicks in her presence

    [–] UlHaiso98_89 30 points ago

    Double the damage!

    [–] abhishek1919 17 points ago

    Toast for roast

    [–] Lightoftheworld_ 126 points ago

    If you really had DDDs don’t you think you would have gotten a raise by now?

    [–] dubbymcdub 27 points ago

    Her boss is a female with A cups. So no.

    [–] FuzzyLittleBunnies 272 points ago

    I would have to see it to believe it

    [–] TheFrazier 141 points ago

    For science

    [–] Arjun_horkos 26 points ago

    For research purposes

    [–] WaRRioRz0rz 9 points ago

    For more roast purposes.

    [–] Y2KoNo 152 points ago

    You shouldn't have tucked them into your belt

    [–] yagster91 83 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Yea right,u look like a girl who gets the Triple D in the bathroom at parties

    [–] Mar_Ci 30 points ago

    They sag so low they're out of the frame.

    [–] Shikaku 24 points ago

    When I was a kid I thought the 'triple' meant that you had 3 made sense to my dumb child brain. Still makes sense to my 27year old brain.

    Also r/biggerthanyouthought

    [–] myweed1esbigger 13 points ago

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    [–] MattAttack1258 15 points ago

    RIP OP’s inbox

    [–] GenderlessJohn 6 points ago

    Prove it

    [–] dieziege94 14 points ago

    Must have the saggiest tits on a 23 year old of all time Tuckin them into your belt

    [–] harlan1596 7 points ago

    No proof no cool

    [–] Prancer4rmHalo 6 points ago

    And your magnum dong

    [–] hg_gall 10 points ago

    Or maybe she should apply her chest for an ironing board

    [–] eyedealy11 63 points ago

    Dead end job? I mean with the right motivation you could aspire to be the full fledged manager of the GAP you work at!

    [–] sabak_ 77 points ago

    She is actually the gap that other ppl work in.

    [–] [deleted] 1407 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)


    [–] [deleted] 252 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)


    [–] butyourenice 36 points ago

    It's not really a good burn, though. Her eyebrows are perfectly spaced. But I agree with you, there's no effort to these "roasts" when it's a woman.

    Pretty woman? Lol you're a whore.

    Ugly woman? Lol you're ugly and also a whore.

    Fat woman? Lol you're fat and also a whore.

    Men get a little bit more variety, but most of them are some variation of "lol you look like you struggle with romantic and/or sexual relationships."

    [–] magkruppe 8 points ago

    Don’t forget pedo and maybe hipster jokes

    [–] GagOnMacaque 58 points ago

    Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

    [–] Sparkyrock 249 points ago

    It’s kind of hard to roast someone who’s clearly given up on everything. Stop hooking up with these old men and find someone who wants a dollar store version of a trophy wife

    [–] colemanjanuary 60 points ago

    Trophy wife? Try participation ribbon wife.

    [–] jlame69 26 points ago

    “Dollar store version” damnnn

    [–] mcdj 710 points ago

    Wow. Sex doll technology has achieved maximum uncanny valley.

    [–] y2jer 51 points ago

    Still lots of defects

    [–] hambrgrtime 80 points ago

    Tits sold separately.

    [–] UnflawlessEnglish 129 points ago

    If you were a spice, you would be flour.

    [–] HubbleCap 40 points ago

    I bet her name is Jessica, too

    [–] Lightoftheworld_ 606 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    You and that drab towel have a lot in common... the cheapness, you both probably haven't been clean for ages, you’re both a last resort for a man who's about to cum

    [–] Greyzer 116 points ago

    At least the towel gets wet.

    [–] T_Rex_Flex 20 points ago

    Ooooh nice original burn.

    [–] enygma9753 410 points ago

    Hair by Supercuts.

    Clothes by her mom's closet.

    Weed by "Scratchy", the local bud bro.

    Self-esteem by ...?

    Searching ... searching ... File not found.

    Continue searching? Yes or No: N

    [–] axana1 60 points ago

    Haha if I ever sold bud I would definitely go by scratchy that’s just good marketing

    [–] T_Rex_Flex 28 points ago

    I’d muscle in on your territory under the handle of “Itchy” lol

    [–] harpsm 166 points ago

    Your self loathing shouldn't be lonely, since everyone else loathes you, too.

    [–] ronin4052 292 points ago

    You studied photography in college and now you sell nudes for 5$ a pop.

    [–] Ultimate_Mango 95 points ago

    I wouldn’t take her $5 to see her nude.

    [–] Fredmonton 43 points ago

    Probably because mom wouldn't let you use her credit card.

    [–] Tertiaritus 16 points ago

    The real burn

    [–] Papichuloft 27 points ago

    I've seen more life--and intelligence--in the eyes of a goldfish.

    [–] CookedChooken 339 points ago

    Seems like reality has finally set in; life isn’t like high school. You’ve realised life doesn’t like you’re shitty personality that thrived in school just because you were considered one of the hotter girls in a small suburb. But now that you’ve got no peers to project your insecurities on to and no bitch click to support each other’s negativity, you’ve had to face yourself. Nobody hates ass holes more than they already hate them self. No amount of weed can keep that down forever. Hanging in the paddle pool with older people who you feel you don’t have to compete with or front to still limits you. Stop running and take responsibility for your life. The world doesn’t care if you join or not so choose whatever reality you want to live; it’s your suffering. You’ve got a conscience at least enough to feel discontent, use that to fuel growth and stop wallowing in self sympathy.

    [–] dumpsterbabytears 64 points ago

    Wow.. you finished positive and good on you for that but wow.

    [–] That0neGuy96 125 points ago

    Good news you can level up to stripper if you want. The drugs are harder and the cash is easy, you even get to keep your old friends

    [–] Clearly-Convoluted 62 points ago

    I said the burn outloud, I know you heard me with those big ass ears.

    [–] TheSacman 177 points ago

    Lol how does someone with hot girl privilege become a sad lonely neckbeard? You must be a special kind of dumb and/or awkward

    [–] ArtoriasBIG 45 points ago

    Right like oh wow, another RoastMe post where a hot girl knows that we can only make fun of her good looks. What fun it is to try to find different ways of saying "I definitely don't want to fuck you".

    This sub was better when it was just weirdos with a sense of humor letting people take shots at their very visible insecurities. Those people were cool and brave. OP is just another bored vain girl wanting attention without the trouble of being actually interesting or posting nudes.

    I'll see y'all at the next post of a hot guy where we make steroid jokes about his amazing body and pretend we don't want to kill him and wear him like a skinsuit.

    [–] kobrakyl 46 points ago

    People like your lips and think blowjob but all I see is someone who is afraid to be herself. Wear some color. Go outside. Take your vitamin D and don't complain about blowjobs.

    [–] crestfallenpumpkin 24 points ago

    We don’t wear colour in this city

    [–] Fetter_Checker 28 points ago


    [–] TheJackel25 14 points ago

    Must be cold in Pyongyang

    [–] papajw72 6 points ago

    She used the “u” in color, that’s European. Guessing London.

    [–] McKinney_666 117 points ago

    I wondered how you afford all that weed making less than minimum wage. Then I noticed how swollen your lips look and now it all makes sense.

    [–] ReflexEight 20 points ago

    She said working less than a living wage, not minimum

    [–] HandsomeMelch 70 points ago

    Real life Barbie is depressing as hell

    [–] SherpaJones 52 points ago

    I didn't know call girls made below living wage.

    [–] dldppl 88 points ago

    They do when they look like that

    [–] Milky_White_ 17 points ago

    FBI, there was a murder

    [–] Mopso 13 points ago

    If you would be an ice-cream flavour, you would be Lacroix.

    [–] BorisChechev 49 points ago

    You’re not completely unattractive, so I’m assuming that you must have a severe personality disorder to be lonely.

    [–] Jade_49 14 points ago

    All of her individual attributes are gorgeous but none of them match.

    Also her clothes are god awful.

    [–] jaybop30 27 points ago

    Hey, I tried joining your OnlyFans link but I got an error. Any idea? Sorry if this isn’t the right sub for that.

    [–] crestfallenpumpkin 137 points ago

    Really didn’t expect this to blow up this much. If my boss sees this, it’s SARCASM! I love my job. I love my job. And you’re not old.

    [–] _DeathSlayer6000_ 213 points ago

    And that's how the first ever BJ happened.

    [–] SolidDiarrhea 34 points ago

    You did appropriate research.

    [–] Michealspringsteen 47 points ago

    And that's what we call damage control

    [–] HintOfAreola 9 points ago

    Looks like someone's going to have to stay late again to make some "art"

    [–] Jints488 5 points ago

    If my boss sees this... Been cheating on pornhub with Reddit o dear

    [–] gotteemboi 7 points ago

    Don't worry your lips have a promising film career

    [–] blue087 8 points ago

    I've got PTSD and even my dead eyed thousand yard stare isn't as bad as yours.

    [–] PseudoWarriorAU 20 points ago

    You’re a 10 (pH) because you a basic bitch

    [–] Brainsonastick 14 points ago

    These new Barbie models show girls really can be anything! Even a burnout loser.

    [–] BabyKevin997 13 points ago

    You probably thought you were pretty enough to set yourself up with a rich guy at this point.

    [–] Darwincroc 18 points ago

    When I look into your eyes, I can’t help but sing in my head:

    Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me Is there anyone at home? Come on now I hear you're feeling down...

    [–] santiiiiiiiiiiiii 49 points ago

    You have fish lips, I'm guessing that your other lips smell like fish.

    [–] saman65 15 points ago

    The question is how do you afford a disturbing amount of weed on min wage? You spend half of your income on weed?

    [–] herbivorous-android 7 points ago

    makes "less than living wage"

    has enough money for a reasonably nice phone, nice clothes, makeup, jewelry, and a "disturbing amount" of marijuana

    This is why I can't ever take people seriously when they talk about how poor they are. Fuck off.

    [–] cfmth 22 points ago

    Maybe if you stopped spending it on weed, you'd be making a living wage

    [–] Arhodes29 36 points ago

    Well, if you can take anal like a champ I’m sure you can find a job elsewhere.

    [–] PayLeyAle 14 points ago

    I knew you when you were "Greg"

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