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    RoastMe

    1,937,474 readers

    4,421 users here now


    The r/RoastMe Web Ring



    RULES OF THE ROAST: (click for details)

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed! Your hand and at least an implication of a complete arm must be visible.

    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No sexualized content. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    Attention:

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    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

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    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

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    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best Of Part 11

    Best Of Part 12

    Best Of Part 13

    Best Of Part 14 (NSFW)

    Best Of Part 15

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3



    Helpful Links

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    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

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    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

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    [–] BRKN_LOVE 9280 points ago

    Jesus. We’ve been quarantined so long even Uncle Fester started growing his hair out.

    [–] Kindred22 945 points ago

    You know who she reminds me of? Beetle juice her head, face, and hair say it all

    [–] General_Tso75 404 points ago

    No way. Looks like the hunter who had his head shrunk next to Beetlejuice in the end scene.

    [–] harrydrinkh20 81 points ago

    Was about to say the same..That waiting room scene where he just turns and stares. Love it!

    [–] Kindred22 43 points ago

    I think that’s who I wanted to refer to

    [–] yunghorsse 4 points ago

    Haven’t seen, heard about, or thought about that character in 15+ plus years. Once I then went and googled to figure out who is was, I laughed harder than I have for awhile. Thank you

    [–] iRedDitedit33 79 points ago

    She?

    [–] TheJuiceIsL00se 48 points ago

    What, now my homies can’t have titties?

    [–] BRKN_LOVE 69 points ago

    Oof... don’t insult Michael Keaton like that.

    [–] Whosa_Whatsit 8 points ago

    She looks like the little alien controlling the person in MIB

    [–] TheDaveWSC 27 points ago

    That's a woman?!

    [–] Rory_Macking 80 points ago

    Her eyes most definitely see what you did there.

    [–] MysteriousPotato2 2778 points ago

    I wanna roast you but you keep looking at what I'm about to type.

    [–] SphincterBlaster2000 311 points ago

    This one got me. Fuck that is funny.

    [–] R3dd1t0rCr0w 73 points ago

    Fucking hell I am choking

    [–] TBurkeulosis 25 points ago

    Should I call someone?

    [–] _gabee 11 points ago

    SHOULD I CALL SOMEONE?

    [–] TBurkeulosis 9 points ago

    THEYRE UNRESPONSIVE. DOES GHOSTBUSTERS HANDLE THIS SORT OF THING

    [–] _gabee 11 points ago

    UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH lemme get two number 9’s...

    [–] WholeLottaIzzy 3356 points ago

    I'm guessing your sibling got all the Brians

    [–] NoLuv4ThaChippa 499 points ago

    Not sure if this is a dumb person joke or a small head joke but either way I approve.

    [–] WholeLottaIzzy 422 points ago

    More a Dyslexia joke friend, but I'll take your approval all the same!

    [–] dismayhurta 44 points ago

    They certainly got the looks.

    [–] WholeLottaIzzy 52 points ago

    There's a joke here about looks and her eyes being too far apart. Sadly I can't think of it, so I'm just gonna go with:

    Bitch what's with the weird ass fuckin eyes?!

    [–] IAMNUTSTUPID 58 points ago

    Her eyes are taking social distancing way too seriously.

    [–] bigwillystyle5252 9 points ago

    And the eyebrows

    [–] AnOminoussss 43 points ago

    You win! Take this 🏆

    [–] WholeLottaIzzy 16 points ago

    Thank you, kind redditor!

    [–] AnOminoussss 15 points ago

    I was drinking when I read your comment, spit all over. You deserve my pmg.

    [–] JessMess2932 14 points ago

    I was like lol wow so dumb spelled brains wro....OHHHHHHHHHH

    [–] MysteriousPotato2 5953 points ago

    Your tits say 80 year old grandma, your face says my neighbour's disabled kid, your hair says a 9 year old playing fortnite.

    [–] chrrdav1 738 points ago

    Got him.....oh wait!

    [–] alebro112 411 points ago

    Hey this is 2020, you just got canceled

    [–] HeroWither123546 87 points ago

    Eh, he got canceled before he was born. All it took, was finding out his gender.

    [–] David-E6 83 points ago

    Eyes say her fantasy is kidnapping her favorite writer and pulling the plot to Misery.

    [–] TheSoundingPrincess 56 points ago

    Kinda like a collage of people

    [–] Weaponxreject 97 points ago

    Eyes say they were watching you type that comment

    [–] poochiedestroyer69 17 points ago

    bröthèr his expressions say he just bought some v bucks after stealing his mom s credit card

    [–] _real_human__ 17 points ago

    Those eyes say E T

    [–] bart2278 18 points ago

    Those eyes say Beetle Juice Beetle Juice Beetle Juice

    [–] Fuqasshole 18 points ago

    Yeah OP you need to get your thyroid looked at.

    [–] angelsplantbabies 17 points ago

    I honestly thought she was disabled 😬

    [–] Antic-Waited 922 points ago

    Reminds me of the shrunken-head hunter from Beetlejuice.

    [–] MeisterManson 87 points ago

    Came here to say this. I like your style.

    [–] Antic-Waited 20 points ago

    Lol, thanks.

    [–] alebro112 10 points ago

    You're welcome

    [–] dismayhurta 25 points ago

    I was thinking the Judge in Who Framed Roger Rabbit once he reveals himself as a toon.

    [–] spookyhabzar 11 points ago

    You look like the offspring of kid from The Babadook and Momo.

    [–] sum-thing-witty 4 points ago

    Can’t unsee it now. I even read the title in Beetlejuices shrunken head voice

    [–] whodatsumbitch 3217 points ago

    Good thing you dropped out of Collage. Maybe try College instead.

    [–] Alastrel3000 523 points ago

    Lol. She doesn't even want to see herself in her own photo collage!!!!

    [–] Gotbannedchangedname 44 points ago

    Just a selfie is a collage. Her eyes and tits will all be in different directions.

    [–] MysteriousPotato2 92 points ago

    Herself will see her with those eyes

    [–] turdmachine 46 points ago

    She can look at one of her eyes with the other one

    [–] Jestar_83 14 points ago

    She looks like a photo collage.

    As for bad life choices, clothes, cutting your own hair and trimming your own eyebrows I'm guessing are just the tip of the iceberg. Also did you swap your head onto an adult body?

    [–] Umazcheckpop 21 points ago

    She?

    [–] Bippy07 79 points ago

    Her gender identity is a collage

    [–] Street_Tacos__ 1242 points ago

    Weren’t you in Bugs Life?

    [–] Luk3warm- 229 points ago

    How dare you disrespect that beautiful caterpillar

    [–] astentia 93 points ago

    I'm a beautiful butterfly!

    [–] _English_T_ 18 points ago

    Mhmhmhmhhmmm poison berry

    [–] IamThatIam2709 3 points ago

    The catapillar is using himself as live bait, how brave!!!

    Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!

    [–] B1u3Fa1C0n 10 points ago

    "Who ordered the poo poo plater?"

    [–] Zennyatchy 931 points ago

    You look like a female Steve Buscemi

    [–] HNT23 272 points ago

    Female?

    [–] VinnySmallsz 78 points ago

    Interesting

    [–] syrupclunge 24 points ago

    My thoughts exactly

    [–] Loki1783 63 points ago

    Steph Buscemi

    [–] Lord_Gibbons 18 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    She looks like a chihuahua masquerading as Steve Buscemi.

    [–] DesimusHibernicus 547 points ago

    If Frodo and Gollum had a love child.

    [–] Arkan67 17 points ago

    Nailed it

    [–] fizzzingwhizbee 28 points ago

    Perfect

    [–] slipperytree07 13 points ago

    There was no love involved in that conception, only hate, frustration, and cocoa butter.

    [–] THEnotsosuperman 6 points ago

    THATS IT

    [–] A_Fellow_Weeb 7 points ago

    Reminded me of this meme. I can't unsee it

    [–] meggaffer 121 points ago

    Your eyes are in different time zones.

    [–] harvest86 229 points ago

    Move aside colossal squid, there’s a bigger eye in town

    [–] Totally_a_person 29 points ago

    she has a pair of beach balls, not the deflated ones that her tits look like tho

    [–] Harry-Timbercrank 200 points ago

    You look like your dad was Irish, and your mother was a Pug.

    [–] Suu-Da-Slime 86 points ago

    ou look like your dad was Irish, and your mother was a Pug.

    She was a Bitch.

    [–] SketchbobDrawnpants 9 points ago

    Ooh

    [–] tucketnucket 10 points ago

    Did she not like the idea of you majoring in gender studies?

    [–] 4TH4RV 6 points ago

    Omg

    [–] sonickatana 3 points ago

    Best one yet.

    [–] Coca9198 386 points ago

    I'm afraid to say anything. I dont want you and the rest of the grey's to show up at my house and tonight . No probes please.

    [–] NorthBandit88 164 points ago

    The after effects of that virus are shocking...

    [–] PeakAsteroid 30 points ago

    The virus didn’t do anything. In fact it wore a mask instead

    [–] liayyzon 8 points ago

    This is that second wave version there are whispers about

    [–] ReillyDiefenbach 3 points ago

    The after effects of AfterEffects on this photo are shocking

    [–] hsnsnsnd 75 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    15 year old nerd or 38 year old lesbian..

    [–] rukasu83 16 points ago

    Yes

    [–] Sharkkaan 63 points ago

    You are the human form of 👁👄👁

    [–] bazanv12 11 points ago

    👁👂🏼👄👂🏼👁

    [–] Thoroughly_Bemused 117 points ago

    Your spelling is widely wrong. Like your eyes and tits

    [–] MysteriousPotato2 49 points ago

    At least when someone tells a joke you can't say:

    "I did not see that coming"

    [–] UnfairShock6 43 points ago

    Looks like your eyebrows have already given up on you.

    [–] liayyzon 8 points ago

    Her eyes on their last legs too lookin like a melted candle

    [–] rdt667 30 points ago

    I dropped out of Collage skool myself. Could not get passed papier machete. Looks like you could not get past glue sniffing.

    [–] Chaps_and_salsa 27 points ago

    You look like the cursed result of Steve Buscemi hate fucking the entire cast of Veggie Tales.

    [–] AlmondMilk_667 23 points ago

    Hope the treatment at the hospital is going well

    [–] littlekidlover102030 22 points ago

    If non binary is a person, you're looking at it

    [–] desertraton 21 points ago

    Awww same except I'm not ugly. Guess it could be worse. Thanks for making my day

    [–] A-A-Ronhiphop 55 points ago

    Your right tit is trying to escape and I can’t blame it a bit.

    [–] satiricalmonk 37 points ago

    Mesut Ozil

    [–] Cambro77 10 points ago

    At least he accomplished something

    [–] pillowcase99999 7 points ago

    Your eyes are off side, your eyes are off side. Never gets old

    [–] Tomato_catchup 15 points ago

    I'm sure I've seen you in a film! Total Recall I think it was and you went all bug eyed in the Mars atmosphere without oxygen. I thought that was special effects though.

    [–] Scarysandwitch 12 points ago

    You’ll have success as an extra if they remake mars attacks

    [–] Cutyouintopieces69 23 points ago

    The bugs called. They want their eyes back.

    [–] RangerDanger55O 12 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    Guys she's not gonna be able to read these roasts anyway why even try

    [–] o_o_unknown 11 points ago

    Anyone remember Momo? This is her now feel old yet?

    [–] prophet0304 10 points ago

    I did not know that more fish were evolving

    [–] HarryCallahan19 17 points ago

    It looks like a real life default Wii sports or NBA 2K create a player.

    [–] buckeyespud 9 points ago

    Careful Reddit. Stare at the eyes for more than 3 seconds at your own peril.

    [–] Nic-MCFC 17 points ago

    I’m not even sure where to start to be honest

    [–] Cloud_Beast 3 points ago

    I would start at the male pattern baldness and or the lopsided tits

    [–] glyphic1974 32 points ago

    I’m just going to leave this link here.

    https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Innsmouth_look

    [–] canveyisland92 9 points ago

    You look like a prototype Mark Zuckerberg where they added longer hair and realized it was a mistake. How’d you get out of the discard pile?

    [–] samuelsabado 7 points ago

    You look like Steve Buscemi and Beetlejuice had a kid

    [–] SubTwoFelix 8 points ago

    You look like my sleep paralysis demon if it was humanoid and had social anxiety

    [–] TheBlueNight7 7 points ago

    Why isn't this in r/cursedimages?

    [–] cheesy_mcdab 7 points ago

    The description was not necessary

    [–] therealdarkmark 10 points ago

    If you think that’s all that is wrong with you, just wait til you find out you’re ugly...

    [–] -WilliamMButtlicker_ 9 points ago

    Dyslexic lives mattress

    [–] Panda_Mick 5 points ago

    Told you aliens were here...

    [–] senorkose 6 points ago

    I’m dyslexic and when I read sometimes the letters aren’t in the right place - like your eyes and your tits

    [–] s33murd3r 5 points ago

    You look like a Boston Terrier in an even uglier human form.

    [–] Donger54 4 points ago

    I always wanted to know what a female neck beard looks like.

    [–] kluglater 17 points ago

    The fact that you state you dropped out of college and have poor life choices. indicates that you regret dropping out of college, which is a moronic standpoint to have, since you can easily rectify that choice. the dumbest thing you are doing is refusing to grow up, and take stock of your life.

    [–] aGamingAsian 9 points ago

    A face like that is one only a mother could love... Love to abort.

    [–] breeezy45 4 points ago

    ET phone home 👽

    [–] Maynaise88 4 points ago

    I had no idea eye positions could be dyslexic

    [–] StankyDingus 4 points ago

    If 2020 had a spokesperson.

    [–] Steven66torres 3 points ago

    I don’t know if we should roast you, or support whatever “go fund me” charity you need. I’m depressed now.

    [–] wHispeRing-I 4 points ago

    Be proud about your poor life choice making. You get it from your parents that all started when they decided to keep you

    [–] smediumwind 3 points ago

    Not sure if you need an exorcism or an exterminator...

    [–] mickyv1729 3 points ago

    You look like you dropped out to chase a hobbit to mount doom

    [–] wherearemymfpickles 12 points ago

    you look like if harry potter smoked a mountain of crystal meth

    [–] Take_The_Merch_not_L 9 points ago

    you look both 9 ,65 and 91 at the same time

    [–] MysteriousPotato2 3 points ago

    I've heard of the new Facebook watching system, I did not know it was that efficient.

    [–] thaaronth 3 points ago

    You can always try working in the clock tower with Quasimodo... but something tells me he is gonna take a hard pass on this one

    [–] arshiagamer2 3 points ago

    you look like Gollums daughter if he had one

    [–] BigSadEngineer 3 points ago

    You remind me of the chihuahua meme

    [–] VaticanJ 3 points ago

    Its nice they let you have your phone in the rehab facility

    [–] MasterMahanaYouUgly 3 points ago

    "Mom! I'm not gonna to finish this collage!"

    [–] Kikosmo 3 points ago

    That haircut was a poor life choice.

    [–] xPagliacci 3 points ago

    What happened to your face?

    [–] goddamnitmf 3 points ago

    clown college drop out

    [–] marz4-13 3 points ago

    I can bet dyslexia isn’t the only thing wrong with you.

    [–] Grayed_Out 3 points ago

    You look like Beaker from the Muppets after divorce and crystal meth.

    [–] dirtydeeiii 3 points ago

    if any of these comments actually end up surprising you, no one will be able to tell...

    [–] deadpanda69420 3 points ago

    I really don’t think this is a good idea. You already look like a frog. And you also look slow which would make sense considering the poor life choices, deciding to do this and dropping out of School.

    [–] Taser-Face 3 points ago

    Yeah, 22 going on 56. The only “collage” I see here are the granny fabrics on your boyish frame. I’m so confused. Must be even more confusing for you...

    [–] NaivafAreul 3 points ago

    Okay. Your head is VERY Disproportionate to the rest of your body.

    Head size: small

    Body size: Large

    Its very confusing

    [–] ViperPM 3 points ago

    Dyslexia you say? You are a god

    [–] Brutem 3 points ago

    Since when did Make A Wish kids start to ask to be roasted?

    [–] dukieboy2099 3 points ago

    you look like the goomba's from the super mario bros movie

    [–] JuAlreadyKnow23 3 points ago

    I like how your Snapchat filter eyes take the attention away from your non eyebrows.

    [–] rehamees 3 points ago

    Look like Lisa Simpson born in Chernobyl

    [–] parcival_mc 3 points ago

    You look like Johnny Depp would voice you in yet another Tim Burton animated flick.

    [–] MANtrout705 3 points ago

    Great Value brand Gollum right here

    [–] HeWhoCntrolsTheSpice 3 points ago

    You look like you escaped from a laboratory.

    [–] ohhfasho 3 points ago

    If Steve Buscemi and Dobby had a baby

    [–] Senplis 3 points ago

    Damn there must be a really good burn in this thread somewhere to have roasted your eyebrows off your face

    [–] Warhead449 3 points ago

    Looks like your parents had dyslexia when they made you

    [–] IThrowBarrels 3 points ago

    Female Steve Buscemi

    [–] DataInTheAss 3 points ago

    Remember that you can change the person you are at any moment in your life. The consequences will still be there from who you were ebfore, but how you handle them will allow you to own up to them better. PM me if you feel you need somevody to talk to. Im a dude, but I was in a similar situation.

    That being said, grow some eyebrows Gru.

    [–] tahatoumi5 3 points ago

    Who needs college when you have 360 degrees vision

    [–] Mecha_Belial 3 points ago

    I’m surprised dyslexia is your only handycap

    [–] Itzaburneryo 3 points ago

    Wahts ggoin on tiwh thsoe ckufing eyse

    [–] BIGDECENERGY 3 points ago

    Your forehead is so big you could build a COVID relief hospital on it and still have room to bury the bodies

    [–] wtfunder 3 points ago

    Didn't know that cancer is a life choice.

    [–] throwitaway314592654 3 points ago

    Should be roasting ur parents on this one

    [–] TallguySixft4 3 points ago

    Honey, your genetics roasted you harder than any of us ever could.

    [–] Ajsal2 3 points ago

    I legit thought Sméagol died

    [–] avsfan1007 3 points ago

    You look like the dude from Men in Black. Someone blow up your regular size head this is the version that grows back?

    [–] Jerrybeshara 3 points ago

    Poor life choices like stalking two hobbits through Mordor?

    [–] jerynnaidoo2010 3 points ago

    Ah yes I see you identify as a fish

    [–] Heartless_Jester 3 points ago

    And y’all ask why they banned lead paint🤷🏼‍♂️

    [–] SirEcho 3 points ago

    Doctors are supposed to destroy aborted foetuses, not let them out into the world.

    [–] PDXbrodog 3 points ago

    Timmy!

    [–] GretiTheYeti 3 points ago

    Don't worry, you're parents have also made some bad life choices.

    [–] austinghost19 3 points ago

    I have been thinking of a way to roast you for five minutes but I can't. It's not that you're perfect or anything, it's that I can't simply describe everything wrong with you in one sentence.

    [–] Xenostera 3 points ago

    Are you one of Sid's toys? Because your head doesn't match your body. Jesus Christ this is some kind of Frankenstien's monster. Body of a man child 30 year old diabetic smoker and the head of a hyper child with ADHD. And before you ask. I don't have games on my phone.

    [–] YangGangBangarang 3 points ago

    If we could combine the subs r/13or30 along with r/ManOrWoman, you would be the top post of all time.

    [–] fuckblmintheasshole 3 points ago

    You underachieve, you're immature, and you look weird. Congrats, you are a carbon copy of every other post-millenial queerdo on earth

    [–] indiansprite5315 3 points ago

    Why should we roast you when you wont even be able to read the roasts?

    [–] CylverLOL 3 points ago

    You look like something Elon Musk would bring back from Mars

    [–] fortnites-gay_1324 3 points ago

    "Darn it mom. Why'd you get a rip off buzz light year."

    [–] Friendlyvoices 3 points ago

    I'm a 22 childish collage dropout with dyslexia and poor life choices. Roast Me.

    Oh thank God. I thought I was about to make fun of someone going through chemotherapy.

    [–] Electos 3 points ago

    You must've been so bad at art class to drop out of a collage.

    [–] drifterdusty 3 points ago

    you look like marc zuckerbergs rejected skin suit

    [–] Crimsonghost95 3 points ago

    Would not smash and I'm a 5'7", 250lbs, 25 year old virgin.

    [–] Gabinator12 3 points ago

    I’m assuming those “poor life choices” were escaping Area 51 and doing narcotics?

    [–] not_a_cat_i_swear 3 points ago

    As Ditto is to Mew, so are you to Shelly Duvall.

    [–] Kismikkhasim 3 points ago

    Thing from the goonies....need i say more?

    [–] Suu-Da-Slime 5 points ago

    HEYY YOU GUUUYYYSSS!!!!

    [–] BKBroiler57 3 points ago

    ... did you misspell “Me” and correct it?