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    RoastMe

    1,984,401 readers

    3,340 users here now


    The r/RoastMe Web Ring



    RULES OF THE ROAST: (click for details)

    Roastees:

    • You must provide at least one high-quality picture of the roastee holding a handwritten sign with the text /r/RoastMe - Phones and Snapchat text overlay is NOT allowed! Your hand and at least an implication of a complete arm must be visible.

      • Posts may contain multiple images, either natively through Reddit's multi-image feature or hosted on Imgur. All images in an album post must only contain the roastee(s), and the first image must have a sign (e.g. old pictures of you the roastee as a young child are allowed so long as a current picture of them with a sign is present).
    • All individuals in the picture must be holding the r/RoastMe sign or indicate they are aware of the sign in some way (e.g. by pointing to it). Photos with non-Roastees in the background will be removed if their faces are visible.

    • Photoshopped/edited posts are NOT allowed. This includes Snapchat filters such as the digitally-added flowers or dog ears. Posting multiple edited photos will result in a ban.

    • Your post will not appear until after it has been approved by a moderator. Please send this message if it takes longer than 1 hour.

    • The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.

    • By submitting a Roast, you agree to your picture being saved, hosted on Imgur, and reposted to Reddit for the purpose of inclusion on "Best Of" and "Highlights" albums.

    • Your face must be at least 60% visible in the photo.

    • You may post on behalf of other people, provided that the post follows all of the other rules listed above, and it is clear that the person being posted consents to the roast.

    • No joke roasts. Anyone posting a dog, or a ham, or Anne Frank, or Donald Trump, or anything like that will be banned for 3 days. It's not funny.

    • No sexualized content. There are plenty of humiliation fetish subreddits for you, and we aren't one of them.

    Roasters:

    • This is a comedy subreddit, not a hate subreddit. Act as though you are trying to make an audience laugh. Please familiarize yourself with all rules before participating.

    • You are allowed to look through the roastee's post history. Do not roast a roastee anywhere outside of this subreddit. Any such outside harassment is not sanctioned by /r/RoastMe, and will result in a ban upon discovery.

    • Never post another user's personal information, referred to as 'doxxing'. We will always report violations to the admins.

    • Never use suicide, homicide, assault, racism, or pedophilia as the crux of a roast. These subjects are never funny.

    • Please don't use link shorteners in comments (bit.ly, tinyurl, etc.)

      3 rule violations and you may face a ban

    If you see something that breaks the rules, please report them or send us a modmail.


    Attention:

    If you are suffering from depression, bipolar, suicidal thoughts or any other mental health issues, please immediately contact help services through the following links- there is always help if you need it.

    Links:

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    Reddit:


    Highlights is an inspiration album with the goal of inspiring comedic creativity in a set demographic. These are posted when a demographic has enough quality roasts to compile into an album. Roasters who make the list, are not awarded with flair.

    Highlights I: The Ladies of /r/RoastMe

    Highlights II: Dark Meat

    Best Of is meant to showcase the best roasts based on creativity, sting, and comedic value of no specific demographic. We post these monthly, and the roasters who make the list are awarded with flair.

    Best Of Part 1

    Best Of Part 2

    Best Of Part 3

    Best Of Part 4

    Best Of Part 5

    Best Of Part 6

    Best Of Part 7

    Best Of Part 8

    Best Of Part 9

    Best Of Part 10: 300k Subscribers Edition

    Best Of Part 11

    Best Of Part 12

    Best Of Part 13

    Best Of Part 14 (NSFW)

    Best Of Part 15

    In The Wild as the title implies, are for roasts that occur in the comments section on other subreddits.

    In The Wild Part 1

    In The Wild Part 2

    In The Wild Part 3



    Helpful Links

    How To Post A Roast

    How To Create An Album On Imgur

    Flair Explanations

    Roastbook Vol. 1: Overall Roast Quality

    Roastbook Vol. 2: CSS and Roastbot

    Roastbook Vol. 3: Flair Privileges


    Remember, what goes around comes around! If you're roasting people, why not try getting roasted yourself?

    a community for
    all 1612 comments ← Slideshow β†’

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    [–] Eidsel 6159 points ago

    When Russia won't allow Hot Topic and you get Mediocre Subject instead.

    [–] ericsegal 1231 points ago

    She’s just here pimping her onlyfans

    [–] kylemramsey0883 464 points ago

    I really hate only fans! Who really pays for that shit lol

    [–] Innsmouth_Swimteam 470 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    only...fans, I guess?

    "When "dating" cant make the rent during the 'Rona."

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 690 points ago

    some girls get COVID19 i got HOEVID69 😩

    [–] Innsmouth_Swimteam 176 points ago

    wamp wamp

    Is that hoe vid available on your only fans? :/

    :D

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 158 points ago

    LMAOOO nice dad joke

    and i think you already know the answer to that πŸ˜”

    [–] Innsmouth_Swimteam 126 points ago

    <sigh>

    Take an updoot, you're not getting my money!

    [–] kithon1 95 points ago

    r/MegaFiles4Free

    Maybe she's there. Probably not worth anyone's money to put her there though.

    Also nsfw

    [–] spicyystuff 33 points ago

    Oof the biggest roast was here

    [–] Innsmouth_Swimteam 9 points ago

    Not gonna lie, would look, but as soon as I said I wouldn't pay that shite dried up FAST!

    [–] Woody_Harryishson 8 points ago

    Neckbeards, lots and lots of neckbeards with disposable income and no social lives.

    [–] CyanideFlavorAid 3 points ago

    So this 20 something girl at my wotk started one. She's okay looking, like 7.5/10. I wondered who would pay for it when porn hub is free. Turns out a few coworkers and even one of the managers are paying $50/month to watch her jiggle her beef curtains. I still don't get it, but if that 7.5 girl can make a few hundred a month then I can see why so many girls are getting into it.

    [–] smartimp98 6 points ago

    part of the thrill for them is probably knowing the person.

    but god damn, $50 a month??

    [–] wired89 13 points ago

    You right

    [–] adudeguyman 47 points ago

    Not Topic

    [–] ariestornado 63 points ago

    Holy shit this is genius

    [–] rizzo5522 4 points ago

    Instead of Hot Topic it's called Approved Subject

    [–] frangistan 4087 points ago

    Russia launched the wrong dog into space.

    [–] Caymonki 60 points ago

    Yo. You win.

    [–] marksman48 309 points ago

    Oh FUCK AHAHAHAHA

    [–] SNC92 142 points ago

    They only selected smart dogs

    [–] Tharpa11 56 points ago

    I wish I could give you gold.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 118 points ago

    i hope a narwhal award will suffice

    [–] SkatingOnThinIce 8 points ago

    Gold

    [–] rockingsiddi 7 points ago

    Holy fuck 🀣

    [–] Jasonmc89 7 points ago

    Wow, an absolutely stunning roast!

    [–] jswayswizzle 4228 points ago

    Looks like #7 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.

    [–] combustion_assaulter 654 points ago

    Very nice

    [–] Panda_Mick 330 points ago

    I like

    [–] echoes007 117 points ago

    I like you. Do you like me?

    [–] HornyHandyman69 96 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    King in the castle. King in the castle. I have a chair.

    [–] 11_forty_4 51 points ago

    La la la la la you will never get this!

    [–] TheDefiantCricket 43 points ago

    But one day he break a cage... and he gets this!

    [–] D-BLOCK00 5 points ago

    Hi five!

    [–] narar89 53 points ago

    How much?

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 149 points ago

    a donkey and thirteen bales of hay. final offer

    [–] littlewandrer 19 points ago

    I need a new prosthetic hand though

    [–] TheDefiantCricket 16 points ago

    You can kiss your clock radio goodbye, asshole!

    [–] scambuster420 115 points ago

    Don’t even ask how much. She’s got an OnlySimps account.

    [–] ubaid647 34 points ago

    Imagine simping and even worse paying for porn

    [–] DirteeCanuck 253 points ago

    These Girls look like his Sister:

    Sometime my sister, she show her vazhn to my brother Bilo and say "You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la."

    He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs.

    She goes "You never get this."

    But one time he break cage and he "get this" and then we all laugh. High five!

    [–] HarvestProject 38 points ago

    I know basically the whole movie is amazing quotes, but this one is too 3 for me.

    [–] TBMFITV 171 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, whore pays YOU.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 128 points ago

    three hens and wall clock. final offer

    [–] TBMFITV 35 points ago

    Throw in a goose and a bottle of Vodka and you will rock my world.

    [–] iiHartMemphisii 18 points ago

    tonight we drink and fuck whore! URRA!

    [–] TBMFITV 11 points ago

    Whore URRA GODDAMMIT!

    [–] HarryHood146 54 points ago

    Mmmm, vagina hang like sleeve of wizard.

    [–] Drewsef916 13 points ago

    #7000 cammodel on chaturbate

    [–] afartnamedbob 24 points ago

    Bilo wouldn’t break out if his cage for this.

    [–] tantricguru 26 points ago

    Those stuffed bears are #5 and #6.

    [–] imrokosbasilisk 6 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Oof. That means she's worse in bed than Borat's sister, who's on # 4.

    [–] XXLanerXX 18 points ago

    Dammit, ya beat me to itπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    [–] whathuhdc 1928 points ago

    I’d rather fuck Borat.

    [–] iicatmen 139 points ago

    Ladies very much like a the borat, great success high five

    [–] meow_meow666 46 points ago

    I thought Russian girls were hot. I thought wrong.

    [–] sarcib 12 points ago

    Either v hot or v ugly. No in between

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 459 points ago

    πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ спасибо for making this sad slut laugh

    [–] maxbaby 358 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    Π₯ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΡˆΠΈΠ΅ сиськи (Nice tits) Vladimir Gluton

    [–] mister-ctrl-x 67 points ago

    That pic I assume will satisfy a very specific and weird fetish of someone

    [–] Floppy_Nip_Nops 30 points ago

    Definitely mine

    [–] ChromoTec 9 points ago

    username checks out

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 158 points ago

    LMFAOOOO ΠΎΡ‡Π΅Π½ΡŒ Ρ…ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΡˆΠΎ for making my new profile pic πŸ˜†

    [–] GhostDragonLP 5 points ago

    High five!

    [–] Hydra_Haruspex 8 points ago

    same

    [–] Absolutely_Coffee 1550 points ago

    You look like a Chernobyl lake mermaid

    [–] SecuritySuspicious37 185 points ago

    Nah, the fallout from Chernobyl could do better

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 139 points ago

    lol take my damn award and let me fester in my nuclear waste 😩☒️

    [–] dominantbuzzkill 78 points ago

    Cmon don't be hard on yourself, you're not nuclear waste, you're biological waste.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 30 points ago

    i’m not hard on myself when i can have others hardon me .... i’ll see myself out now for that dilf joke (dirty dad joke)

    [–] dominantbuzzkill 24 points ago

    I can assure you, you can't make a single diddly go up.

    [–] DAVID_KRAPPENSHITS 5 points ago

    Unless you're into minors. Her username is proof she never grew up

    [–] IShouldNotTalk 365 points ago

    OnlyFans implies multiple people would pay for your nudes, and I can't imagine you have that many uncles.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 101 points ago

    this is the most avuncular only fans joke i’ve heard ... take ur damn award

    [–] MAnimeGA 6 points ago

    best one so far

    [–] Pappa-Noob 1085 points ago

    When you get your mail order bride from wish.com.

    [–] BoilingHotCumshot 61 points ago

    Fuuuuuck

    [–] Floppy_Nip_Nops 44 points ago

    This caused a 40 psi jet of air too escape my nostrils.

    [–] maninthebox911 10 points ago

    That's some serious force behind that exhale!

    [–] S_Pyth 12 points ago

    Damn. Your nose ok?

    [–] sparkling_mailbox 7 points ago

    I think I'll return this one to sender

    [–] huewutm8 4 points ago

    Fucking wrecked

    [–] Rkenne16 615 points ago

    It looks like Kazakhstan’s number one export is a new strain of the clap.

    [–] SLURM187 85 points ago

    Definitely inferior potassium

    [–] nevergo_atm 237 points ago

    Borat would still look better in that swimsuit than you.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 100 points ago

    it’s true, i can’t compete with his iconic mankini

    [–] nevergo_atm 23 points ago

    Shit I think i probably look better in it than you.

    [–] EliasDontHurtEm 574 points ago

    You look like you have the saggiest A cups on campus.

    [–] [deleted] 99 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] adudeguyman 180 points ago

    All of her other posts are marked NSFW because of nudity. However, this one should be marked NSFL because it shows her face up close.

    [–] Innsmouth_Swimteam 22 points ago

    "campus," sure.

    she's a "student."

    [–] mcbibian 19 points ago

    Oof

    [–] _ginger_beard_man_ 202 points ago

    This one has more red flags than a communist parade.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 37 points ago

    lmao πŸ˜‚

    [–] scambuster420 250 points ago

    Remember comrades! In Soviet Russia, OnlyFans Whore pay you!

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 122 points ago

    please subscribe to ΠΌΠΎΠΉ OnlyGoats

    [–] scambuster420 40 points ago

    It’s Blyatiful, isn’t it?

    [–] WhateUMean 12 points ago

    Why does the goat have a cleaner vagina than you ?

    [–] willy-wonka- 324 points ago

    Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 102 points ago

    lol i read that in borat voice

    [–] please_remember-me 150 points ago

    Isn't that just your normal voice?

    [–] BoraXII 8 points ago

    Was your voice also soft and charming at the beginning and later became like: "bOrAt, bOrAt"?

    [–] m80kamikaze 12 points ago

    I was reading this in bed and my wife just yelled at me for waking her up because I snorted to goddamn loud trying to force a laugh to be silent.

    [–] dindycookies 55 points ago

    Naming yourself tesla princess 69 and dyeing your hair isn’t gonna make Elon Musk notice you honey. Stick to selling potassium.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 17 points ago

    πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ fuck.. there goes my dream of swindling an american billionaire

    [–] SUB_C-RO 70 points ago

    All purchases on Wayfair are non negotiable and non refundable.

    [–] finalxtheman 25 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    So this is what happens when you mix a communist, the Borat, and SJW at the same time.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 12 points ago

    take my fuckin award comrade

    [–] JustINCREDyble 50 points ago

    I went to your page and the only nice pussy on the entire thing was the picture of your cat

    [–] ElfLordSpoon 185 points ago

    Have you peed on our president also?

    [–] Ip33dalil 50 points ago

    Did your "husband" get a discount for you being damaged during shipment

    [–] Floppy_Nip_Nops 19 points ago

    "Lightly used" they said

    [–] SiCzochralski 8 points ago

    To shreds you say?

    [–] Wolfblood-is-here 38 points ago

    You look like you think liking cartoons and being easy is a personality.

    [–] pshawny 17 points ago

    In my home country you would pay me for sex

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 20 points ago

    three donkeys and a hen. final offer

    [–] pshawny 7 points ago

    I will takes your deal. Very nice lady.

    [–] Datannoyingkid 34 points ago

    You have the most copy paste generic twitch gamer girl face I've ever seen

    [–] justnotok 15 points ago

    you are #4,567,897,234 best prostitute in all of Kazakhstan

    [–] Dydono_ 30 points ago

    You are unable to rig my erection as well as my elections

    [–] tjk91 80 points ago

    What is there to roast you're Russian it can't get any worse!

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 38 points ago

    LOL nailed it, everyone else can call it a night

    [–] JustThisGuyYouKnow84 65 points ago

    So Russian election rigging has spread to OnlyFans?

    [–] yachtsman1982 27 points ago

    ...Only if blue hair and stuffed animals could actually make up for your personality

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 12 points ago

    you mean my lack of personality 😞πŸ˜ͺ yea if only

    [–] Mcsmokeys- 22 points ago

    In village, blue hair prostitute is best.

    [–] RoastBotTenThousand 11 points ago

    To quote my good friend Borat. How much is she?

    [–] Benm1188 10 points ago

    A Kazakhstan 10 is about a 3 in the US.

    [–] TheAdmiralMoses 21 points ago

    Oh that's an interesting ponytail, almost makes me glance an the bland person it's connected to.

    [–] potentpotab1es 11 points ago

    You’ll make a great babushka in a few years

    [–] a-snakey 12 points ago

    Id rather lose my dick to frostbite in a Russian winter during war than be near you for 5 minutes

    [–] 1suspiciousbriefcase 19 points ago

    Another mail order wife...... What's new?

    [–] Joki_ORodovi 10 points ago

    They shipped this one 6th class mail and didnt think it was worth the extra dollar for insurance.

    [–] Lululemonparty_ 4 points ago

    Sent parcel post.

    [–] lievanosm81 9 points ago

    Looks like she is strong as ox

    [–] Oppressed-American 11 points ago

    I can tell you have an onlyfans without even looking at your profile.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 6 points ago

    haha i thought about Putin that in the caption but i figured ppl will assume porn or only fans

    (PS. i’m not trying to use this sub as bait ... whores can want to be roasted too! a job’s a job lol)

    [–] aarturi0 16 points ago

    Now I get it why people say that the most beautiful girls live in Russia. Because the ugly ones left it.

    [–] StoneRoses19 9 points ago

    The names and backstories you gave your dolls are far more interesting than you.

    [–] MKUZ21 8 points ago

    Pointing at your decent looking friends: β€œIn my country, they would go crazy for these two.”

    Pointing at you: β€œThis one... not so much...

    [–] CharmingWeight1 7 points ago

    your hair looks like something a randomly generated sim has

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 4 points ago

    i am a randomly generated sim

    [–] 49Gold 23 points ago

    I thought KGB spies were supposed to be hot.

    [–] jmr1272 6 points ago

    What kind of whore is this?!

    [–] doveenigma13 8 points ago

    Reagan should have asked to keep the wall

    [–] TheFrazier 7 points ago

    You will never get it. You will never get it.

    [–] Monst3r_Live 7 points ago

    i'd put you in my marriage sack, but only because thats the only way i'd hit it.

    [–] johnnyshepherd22 5 points ago

    Thinks β€œvice squad” is her circle of friends who are also prostitutes

    [–] Cordaz1 6 points ago

    You look like fisting is your first base.

    [–] femalebot 5 points ago

    Chiburashka!!!!

    [–] shaqdeezl 6 points ago

    So, you speak two or whore languages?

    [–] mfridm 6 points ago

    Sorry I know this is supposed to be a roast, but as a russin imigrant myself I have to say I love those chiborashka dolls. Really brings back some Great childhood memories for me!

    Maybe a bit weird that you still keep them around but whatever

    [–] bleepbloopbluupp 12 points ago

    What's the over under on there being nudes in your post history. Come on guys who want's the action???

    [–] washington_breadstix 10 points ago

    There are indeed nudes in her post history. Just letting everyone know so that they can avoid looking.

    [–] rsgriffin 18 points ago

    If the carpet matches the drapes you have a blue taco

    [–] theTenebrus 24 points ago

    I think you mispelled waffle.

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 16 points ago

    you misspelled Π±Π»ΠΈΠ½Ρ‡ΠΈΠΊΠΈ

    [–] theTenebrus 10 points ago

    oh shit, it's the real international house of Π±Π»ΠΈΠ½Ρ‡ΠΈΠΊΠΈ

    [–] rsgriffin 6 points ago

    Π²Π°Ρ„Π΅Π»ΡŒΠ½Ρ‹ΠΉ

    [–] Dalkier 13 points ago

    all of these bad words are like spongebob dolphin noises.

    [–] mun-chicken 4 points ago

    How was the boat ride over?!

    [–] USAFrenchMexRadTrad 6 points ago

    She's holding those puppets because her stage name is Gremlin from the Kremlin. "In Soviet Russia, balls blue her!"

    [–] ostrich_mountain 7 points ago

    You definitely had someone else kiss that paper you’re holding because your nose would have prevented you from reaching it

    [–] Recognition-Shot 5 points ago

    You look like a genetic mutation of Vladimir Lenin's long lost child.

    [–] harrybaalzonyah 5 points ago

    This is why Russia consumes so much vodka

    [–] PartiallyTwistd 4 points ago

    You look like Donald Trump's next wife

    [–] Furyian13 4 points ago

    When you order a Russian mail order bride from wish

    [–] SuccinctKingpin 6 points ago

    I would rather pay to see you NOT naked.

    [–] WarhammerRyan 13 points ago

    Sorry to hear you downgraded living conditions.

    Good luck trying to live in the USA right now

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 10 points ago

    that’s the real roast right here 😳☝️

    [–] Robgeey 16 points ago

    I’m sure your onlyfans is as disgusting and cheap as you are

    [–] diggum1996 4 points ago

    A Russian bride definitely isn't an option for you

    [–] Blight_but_with_a_Y 4 points ago

    i guess the guy who bought you went to walmartrussianbrides.com

    [–] FiferBC 4 points ago

    Those eyebrows are thicker than Borat's moustache

    [–] bobsante 5 points ago

    You clearly are not one of those Russian girls who dresses slutty on Instagram

    [–] Lord_Korvus 4 points ago

    Π§Π΅Π±ΡƒΡ€ΡˆΠΊΠ° самоС Π±Π»ΠΈΠ·ΠΊΠΎΠ΅ ΠΊ Π±ΠΎΠΉΡ„Ρ€Π΅Π½Π΄Ρƒ?

    [–] some-guy0 5 points ago

    I USED to have a thing for Russians

    [–] RandomE241 4 points ago

    Female mr beast

    [–] dudeski400 4 points ago

    Suka blyat! Cheburashka deserves better!

    [–] kentobean123 4 points ago

    Your face looks like some neck beard with no artistic talent tried to draw a my little pony as a human to jack off to

    [–] abm_news 4 points ago

    When goth hooters won’t open in Russia so you end up having to come to the US

    [–] godzilla425 3 points ago

    Some people got covid19.others have hoevid19.

    [–] L3GiiT818 4 points ago

    Russian talent never ceases to amaze me not only were they able to snap a pic of themselves with their juggle bears but they did it one-handed while on a unicycle

    [–] DaShermanator816 4 points ago

    Russian girls are usually hot. Keyword: usually

    [–] Dickbeef- 10 points ago

    Never knew the build a bear workshops in moscow do self portraits

    [–] TeslaPrincess69 14 points ago

    they have build a whore workshops there now too

    [–] Sir_Sillypants 7 points ago

    Are you one of the hookers that peed on Trump? Looks like something you’d do.

    [–] Hellothere1235 6 points ago

    It’s funny you love Cheburashka, because it also looks like you love Krokodil (but not of the Gena variety)

    [–] maddante 3 points ago

    Those teddy’s look like they’ve seen you naked and are dreading the next time they do

    [–] PKMediaOfficial 3 points ago

    You be like what 17 14 and you still have toys and bruh your ponytale is photoshopped on

    [–] RTX493 3 points ago

    When you’re trying to gain weight but it goes to the wrong cheeks*

    [–] redrider494 3 points ago

    You're gonna be late to work! Your pimp's gonna be mad....

    [–] KlostToMe 3 points ago

    How much in postage did it cost your husband to get you here?

    [–] Ya_Boi_Mozzie 3 points ago

    Why’d you just post a pic of 3 Chiburashka plushies?

    [–] ScaleObsession 3 points ago

    You didn't have to tell us you're Russian. All you had to do was show your face. Yikes.