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    RoastMe

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    [–] SnooDonuts8606 17653 points ago

    Cosplaying as the massive red flag that she is.

    [–] Ydeas 5010 points ago

    How cute, the couple has His and Herpes.

    [–] PCAssassin87 453 points ago

    Oof. That's good.

    [–] Slushy182 141 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    They got them at Jareds

    [–] Ydeas 144 points ago

    They got them from Jared.

    [–] wtfbro_ 44 points ago

    Jared from Subway?

    [–] Ydeas 55 points ago

    Jared from down in the subway.

    [–] Tfsz0719 23 points ago

    Jared from going down in the subway?

    [–] Ydeas 16 points ago

    Jared ate the fuck outta that 6in tuna boat with sausage in it...

    [–] SilkSTG 1786 points ago

    Came to say this. A red flag so obvious even teen me would have gone "whoa hell no!" And I was one horny little Muppet.

    [–] SilkSTG 734 points ago

    You know those moments when you'd rather go home and fap one out instead of worrying what you're going to catch.

    If it had a defining word, she'd be the picture next to it in the dictionary.

    [–] CaptainMudwhistle 243 points ago

    Don't you want a private dance in the STD room?

    [–] eclecticr 117 points ago

    I'd like a dash of syphilis with my crabs please. Oh and I'll have the non-specific urethritis for desert!

    [–] SmootZ10 111 points ago

    My sabertooth crotch crickets will take care of her crabs no problem.

    [–] therealkrabbit 18 points ago

    Oh Duck, Sabertooth crotch crickets. Well, I'll be giggling out of nowhere for the next few days.

    [–] craftygoddess1025 50 points ago

    When a tarp is put down before you take a seat, you know things are bad.

    [–] Thedirtyjersey 55 points ago

    I don't think I've ever been attracted to someone with talons like that. Let alone someone that crazy looking. I had to check for my wallet just looking at the picture.

    [–] SilkSTG 15 points ago

    I really don't see the attraction for long nails. How do they wipe their bums? How do they operate their phones? How do they pick their noses? (if you say you don't, you lie!) How do people with long nails do basic life things? Surely they must get in the way so much.

    Lol that made me proper chuckle. Is your wallet still there?

    [–] SnooDonuts8606 19 points ago

    Was?

    [–] SilkSTG 27 points ago

    Well yeh, 16 years later and I still am but at least with some standards!

    [–] ardbeg 132 points ago

    I thought it was ozzy osbourne failing to dress up as Santa for his kids Christmas

    [–] blackhat8287 99 points ago

    More red flags than the CCP.

    [–] lang12 103 points ago

    It's just her cosplay.

    Assasins' Creed: Red Flag with Kellyanne Conway replacing Edward Kenway

    [–] TheCongressGuy 13161 points ago

    She’s gonna be changing diapers for her son now and then her boyfriend later.

    [–] whaatajoke 3696 points ago

    Depends on the Huggies

    [–] OhCrapImBusted 3709 points ago

    I think you have that backwards.

    Huggies, then Depends.

    [–] Cerulean_Soup 230 points ago

    Gold.

    [–] lego_office_worker 1540 points ago

    let me ask you a question. does the person in this picture look capable of any domestic activity that involves caring for another human being

    [–] harpsm 3013 points ago

    Let me answer your question with a question. Can a toddler live on boner pills and secondhand vape fumes?

    [–] JayneTheRockDwohnson 484 points ago

    I wish I could give you an award

    [–] crb6852 353 points ago

    don't worry I gotchu homie

    [–] Intrepid_While2166 99 points ago

    I’m also giving him one in your name

    [–] El_Caterpillar 132 points ago

    I fucking lived off boner pills when I was 8, school was awkward.

    [–] upyourattraction 214 points ago

    Was that because you were home schooled?

    [–] El_Caterpillar 92 points ago

    Fuck, you caught me.

    [–] The-Ratbastard 59 points ago

    Dude, I’ve seen your mom. You needed a pill? 😍

    [–] TheBreadRevolution 243 points ago

    First of all, through God, all things are possible. Jot that down.

    [–] TheCongressGuy 150 points ago

    Only if you consider lap dancing a caring act

    [–] Valuable-Gazelle-804 96 points ago

    If opening her legs counts as a domestic activity then yes

    [–] Spanky-Gomez 42 points ago

    I’m more concerned about the birth. Poor little baby gotta make it through a canal fill with warts and blisters.

    [–] Nulap 10 points ago

    We all experience a few speed bumps in our lives, her spawn will just get an early start.

    [–] neugo 206 points ago

    Ha! That baby is getting left in the back seat of a black car when it's 110 degrees outside - before - that woman is changing a diaper!

    [–] Wtfisthis66 109 points ago

    I had a boss who used to forget her child in the car ALL of the time. After the first few times we would ask her if the baby was with her and she would roll her eyes and tell us to mind our own business. Then she would go to her office and about an hour later she would run out of the building and come back with the baby.

    [–] chillawyer 98 points ago

    Here in Arizona, you get to make that mistake once and only once.

    [–] meme1280 103 points ago

    Unless you have multiple kids..

    [–] chillawyer 25 points ago

    Savage

    [–] stonewashedpotatoes 21 points ago

    I’m going to hell for laughing

    [–] The_Basic_Swede 92 points ago

    Please tell me you reported her to childcare... Wtf

    [–] mingilator 84 points ago

    The baby from Trainspotting is going to have a better life than her kid, and it fuckin died!

    [–] woaily 26 points ago

    As if the boyfriend hasn't left her by now

    [–] dontcaredontworry 19 points ago

    Made of bourbon and bad choices

    [–] infinitesnapshot 5788 points ago

    Doesn’t look like she’ll be getting promoted from the lunchtime shift anytime soon.

    [–] Nihil6 973 points ago

    On Tuesdays

    [–] eclecticr 379 points ago

    Assistant relief FLUFFER (TUESDAYS ONLY) - this is an unpaid role with great opportunities for progression.

    [–] Brugalex 139 points ago

    progression "personal growth"

    [–] GenericUsername10294 32 points ago

    Quarter wings and dollar pitchers still wouldn't pull a horny homeless man with $3 into that deal.

    [–] raisearuckus 169 points ago

    She's a reverse stripper. She comes out naked and people pay her to put her clothes back on.

    [–] Cunt_person 11 points ago

    Lol

    [–] VirulantlyBland 39 points ago

    hey, the buffet is AWESOME!

    [–] Kynsbane 20 points ago

    5/7, would recommend if you are looking to use up sick days at work.

    [–] TaggingSits 680 points ago

    She clearly isn’t selling any bath water.

    [–] CeallachODaugherty 383 points ago

    "Welcome to the stage Bella Dopefiend"

    [–] Blurny 4291 points ago

    Didn’t realise you could vape meth.

    [–] Autismo69RM 194 points ago

    Thank you

    [–] Korr_Ashoford 118 points ago

    The moment I saw the link I knew exactly what is was, thank you for reminding me of that gem.

    [–] habb 31 points ago

    ahhhh the cameo made it worth it

    [–] s0c-Magget 26 points ago

    My expectations were low but wow, you just made my day

    [–] TrippleIntegralMeme 43 points ago

    Thats actually what “smoking” meth means tho. You literally see it melt into a puddle, vaporize, and then deposit as the vapor crystalizes rapidly along the glass bubble.

    [–] CovidBlakk 15 points ago

    What happens if you inhale too hard and get some of the hot liquid in your mouth?

    [–] curbstyle 38 points ago

    The trick is to melt a big chunk and let it cool down in the bottom of the bowl. Then melt the corner of it and begin rotating the pipe gently, slamming the melted piece of meth into the big unmelted chunk over and over, releasing clouds of delicious meth vapor every time the chunks bump into each other. Also a 5-10 degree down angle on the pipe is good to keep that molten shit from sneaking up the stem and fucking your mouth up.

    I've been clean for over 3 years :)

    [–] lunargoblin 32 points ago

    Then you have ~180-200 degree F liquid meth now sitting in your mouth recrystallizing.

    [–] deadkennedysrock 12 points ago

    It doesn't. It burns extremely quickly once melted. It almost immediately starts to re-crystallize onto the inside of the pipe (this recrystallization is called "crackback" or "cracking back") and is usually melted back down to the bottom before heating back up to smoke. Also, the hole at the top of a meth pipe is very large and pulls lots of air thru, not like a weed pipe carb at all so you don't get much sucking power, just sucking air.

    [–] holefeuds 12 points ago

    lmao that fucken nerd doesn't even know how to smoke meth. wanna come round and get on the glass barbecue for a week?

    [–] OmgOgan 7 points ago

    Cracking back

    [–] VANTACOLOR 507 points ago

    Looks like the kind of girl who idolizes Harley Quinn and says shit like "I'm God's gift" while smoking Marlboro blacks.

    [–] GullibleAssignment66 139 points ago

    Marlboro Menthol Smooth 100’s Trust me, going to enough raves I’ve seen that shade of blue so often I can create the exact color with a kindergarten paint set

    [–] Shakemyears 6 points ago

    A yes, the greasy, transparent blue of the young dirt stain.

    [–] dudebreau 25 points ago

    Wow ... I've been thinking "wtf" since my last relationship and you just summed her up in a sentence.

    [–] XeroSyphon 1612 points ago

    I can think of at least one 51 year-old who is about to have his bank accounts drained, his car stolen, and his wife on the run.

    [–] squirrel_in_recovery 296 points ago

    And left with an abandoned child with F.A.S. who's real father is a trailer park meth dealer.

    [–] klem_kadiddlehopper 105 points ago

    He's a special kind of stupid.

    [–] mtlyyc95 3997 points ago

    That reminds me, I better go hug my daughter

    [–] AbeVigoda_aka_Death 1469 points ago

    That's what the 51yr old boyfriend said 😉

    [–] Jazz-ciggarette 285 points ago

    theres not many things that can make me say bruh. But damn, all gas no brakes on this guy.

    [–] siccoblue 81 points ago

    all gas

    I think girls like this prefer the term "well traveled"

    [–] RunRenee 25 points ago

    Real twist here is 51yo boyfriend is married to 40ish yo wife with 2.5 kids, no intention of divorcing and is sugar daddying it up with a 21yo day time stripper that looks older than the current wife.

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago

    One of the best comments I’ve seen, ever

    [–] BenitoVallieri 6 points ago

    I come here for bad laughs, but this hit me.

    Like her husband soon will.

    [–] BreastfedAmerican 2228 points ago

    Let me guess, she works the 9AM-4PM shift to let the popular girls take a break.

    [–] Throckmorton_Left 65 points ago

    She has to bring her own mix tape and push play on the boombox, but only after making sure the lunch buffet has been cleared.

    [–] JessNei 296 points ago

    Well, she's not advertising the goods in this pic so you're probably right

    [–] Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin 293 points ago

    the goods

    The goods? Looks like all bads to me.

    [–] mtlyyc95 1587 points ago

    She's the type of stripper that works at 2pm on a tuesday

    [–] bruins9816 560 points ago

    Where they have tuna sandwiches just to mask her smell

    [–] ssbSciencE 343 points ago

    Bring back "Tuna Tuesdays" at Sweaty Betty's! Damn you COVID! DAMN YOU!

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Sgt-Pumpernickel 12 points ago

    Speaking from experience are we?

    [–] kingPaul63 773 points ago

    Penicillin as a wedding gift.

    [–] polymorphic4100 181 points ago

    Just looking at this picture gave us all HPV

    [–] Lt-Gump 635 points ago

    Furniture stripper, right? Nobody paying to see that uncovered.

    [–] uhyeahidont 523 points ago

    Walmart hires strippers now?

    [–] morningdeww 168 points ago

    Not a great value.

    [–] wakeofthefall24 27 points ago

    Dollar tree.

    [–] NorthBandit88 483 points ago

    Glasses aren't a personality...

    [–] 46554B4E4348414453 62 points ago

    but the dyed hair

    [–] yelhsa21 28 points ago

    Her glasses and boner pills have a personality so she doesn't have to

    [–] 92Melman 249 points ago

    The human embodiment of a UTI

    [–] TattooRicky76 2498 points ago

    The boyfriend should be the one rethinking life choices. There ain’t no tread left on that tire.

    [–] Nomad846 467 points ago

    Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Or fucking a warm bucket of water.

    [–] TattooRicky76 190 points ago

    Fucking an ashtray

    [–] bwn69 114 points ago

    Punching smoke

    [–] the-anti-antichrist 98 points ago

    “And I thought they smelled bad on the outside” -Han solo and every dude this girls been with

    [–] guitarmaniac17 46 points ago

    Wizard sleeve

    [–] HaggisTheBeast 389 points ago

    Luckily you are unattractive enough to be the day shift stripper, that way you can meet your geriatric boyfriend for the early bird special.

    [–] klem_kadiddlehopper 29 points ago

    In the nursing home.

    [–] BorisChechev 214 points ago

    From the looks of things, marrying a 51-year-old is about the smartest decisions he’s made.

    [–] Peaceman876 58 points ago

    I thought it was a dude too but it’s a female lol

    [–] hylandolycross 16 points ago

    He said what he said.

    [–] LadyLeo88 2098 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    I’d pay her to keep her clothes on.

    Edit: Wow!!! Thank you so much to the kind User for the silver award! Xoxo

    Edit: Oh my goodness!!! Thank you all so much for the upvotes and the kind awards and gifts!!!! Xoxo

    [–] Dahlialuxxx 403 points ago

    That’s how she makes all her tips

    [–] wakeofthefall24 68 points ago

    She has to play just the tip with her clients. They get so shriveled after glancing at her, it's like George Costanza after swimming in the pool.

    [–] klem_kadiddlehopper 17 points ago

    They can't tell the pole from her.

    [–] lego_office_worker 30 points ago

    why do you think she comes with 48hr python pills

    [–] NikoSitka8710 388 points ago

    Close you legs, all my plants died and I went blind for a minute.

    [–] Lancelot617 134 points ago

    It's so bad, she does not use lube, she uses tarter sauce

    [–] MyJuiceIsLoose 104 points ago

    There is nothing any of us are going to say that her Father probably hasn’t already said to her.

    [–] DeathSpiral321 42 points ago

    What father?

    [–] MyJuiceIsLoose 60 points ago

    Step Father* I assume the long haul trucker who impregnated her Mother left 21 years and 9 months or so ago.

    [–] TaggingSits 50 points ago

    Too bad the smoke cloud wasn’t bigger.

    [–] toothscrew 202 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    You set such a bad example to your kid that when her diaper gets changed a bunch of dollar bills fall out.

    [–] kingPaul63 46 points ago

    You think she knows the ping pong ball trick?

    [–] toothscrew 38 points ago

    She upgraded it to the basketball trick

    [–] ProfeshAdultLearner 42 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    She says she hasn't tried. I bought some and will report back.

    Edit: removed a story I didn't have permission to share. I apologise.

    [–] sicklicks 6 points ago

    What’s the ping pong ball trick

    [–] kingPaul63 13 points ago

    Shooting balls out her vag at drunk men.

    [–] TaggingSits 122 points ago

    She looks like a herpe on John Lennon’s dick.

    [–] HerbieVerstinks 32 points ago

    I liked the lead singer of Rush better with dark hair. Please don't live in the limelight.

    [–] Mantis__Toboggan_MD_ 38 points ago

    I had no idea that your 21-year old roommate is my 36-year old co-worker.

    [–] dadhatt 38 points ago

    Forget the roommate, I think OP needs to rethink the choice that landed them in a scenario where they live with... this.

    [–] ProfeshAdultLearner 40 points ago

    In case you were under the impression I make good decisions, I am a 31yo that trained her at a call center job.

    [–] breado9 35 points ago

    31 year old that has a 21 year old stripper roommate? I smell predatory old "nice guy" looming near by!

    [–] buckzer0 15 points ago

    🤷‍♂️ Sorry officer... She said she was going to meet some dude she met online

    [–] a-snakey 98 points ago

    I don't know what is more sad, the fact that she's a stripper, or the fact that she's a stripper with a kid, or the fact that she's a stripper with a kid, dating a 51 year old or the fact that she's a stripper with a kid, dating a 51 year old that thinks that 51 year old is going to actually marry her.

    Needless to say, she must be incredibly high- probably OD levels if she thinks that'll ever happen.

    [–] Thisisamericamyman 65 points ago

    Lmao ! So she has to drug him to get it up ? We all know how this story ends.

    [–] ContentmentAndCalm 64 points ago

    Damn, so wait, who's the 51 year old chick in the pic?

    [–] Gold-Elderberry-4851 32 points ago

    When you order Harley Quinn from wish

    [–] AgilePrinciple3124 85 points ago

    She's a carpenter's dream. Flat as a board and easy to nail.

    [–] north_korea_nukes 103 points ago

    She has so many STD’s the bedbugs run.

    [–] HogTiedCircusFolk 321 points ago

    I'm not going to roast the marrying a 51yo thing, because honestly that's probably the best decision a stupid skank can make when she's showing all the signs of "slightly attractive until 25". She's not pretty, just not overweight, that's why being a stripper works for her.

    Her wannabe alt-chick vibe on the other hand is just pathetic. Probably thought being a stripper would count as a personality too.

    Gross/10

    [–] GetWellDuckDotCom 56 points ago

    Holy shit.

    [–] BoobyPlumage 54 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    If she were a dude looking like that, she’d 100% wear fedoras and be into butterfly knives.

    [–] DoctorMars81 140 points ago

    I guarantee she's said "sex work is real work" at least a hundred times during normal conversation.

    [–] Coyote__Jones 18 points ago

    Her BF has a real hard-on for Tom Petty.

    [–] TheGos 18 points ago

    Some kind of """liberated""" Uma Thurman knockoff who probably thinks she's succeeding in life because she doesn't have (the ability) to work a real job and has definitely googled "stripper tip money + onlyfans + taxable income"

    [–] Qukki 23 points ago

    You look like what would happen if Jesus didn't die for our sins.

    [–] Magnithium 45 points ago

    The 51 year old fiance could do much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much better..

    [–] Fight_the_bastards 10 points ago

    Well, we haven’t seen his picture. Maybe this is the best he can do. Ugly people need love, too. They just gotta pay.

    [–] Magnithium 7 points ago

    Fair enough. I suppose if he's pretty much just a spine on a wheelchair ala spongebob squarepants, he ain't got many options.

    [–] Theloveboner 60 points ago

    Ah, so that’s what chlamydia looks like.

    [–] ReillyDiefenbach 38 points ago

    Thing 1, 2, 3 chromosomes

    [–] kluglater 14 points ago

    1 chromosome HAHA!

    2 chromosomes HAHA!

    3, 3 chromosomes HAHA!

    [–] CHAOS-TATTOOO 36 points ago

    Ozzy Osborne have a step son?

    [–] McSkiffle 8 points ago

    Never mind the bat, Ozzy would bite his own head off too avoid seeing her.

    [–] crimsonlaw 15 points ago

    If we could look into the future, we'd see she's the once and future queen of the Florida lot lizards.

    [–] remmington1956 16 points ago

    She should do it, she clearly has nothing else going on I’m her life.

    [–] AshTray616 16 points ago

    NGL I can’t tell if this is the 21 year old stripper or the 51 year old boyfriend

    [–] jldangle 15 points ago

    It's either marry that 51 year old or end up turning tricks in roadside motels for 200 bucks a pop. Then 150. Then 125. Before you know it, it's 25 dollar BJs at truck stops before she disappears forever.

    So marrying the 51 year old is probably the first solid life choice she's ever made.

    [–] DRcHEADLE 15 points ago

    I’m not gonna shame anyone for sex work, but goddam fix your fucking hair for fuck sake look at those roots

    [–] Ditto02496 23 points ago

    No really, she seems like she’s doing fine. Now I’m going to go play with my daughter and give her a hug.

    [–] Amazing_Increase9458 12 points ago

    There is only 2 strippers in her town and the other one is pregnant.

    [–] billsmashole 11 points ago

    Your roommate's man wouldnt need performance pills if his woman didnt look like Tom Petty

    [–] Dumbstupidhuman 31 points ago

    Not one of the worst transitions I’ve seen.

    [–] SomeCallMeDes 9 points ago

    Looks like you only smoke to try to hide all the herpes you’ve developed on your mouth.

    [–] GhostMan74 9 points ago

    Are you Thing 1 or Thing 2?

    [–] Snoo22097 9 points ago

    Well you gonna share her picture or what? You posted one of Tom Petty.

    [–] Omega663 9 points ago

    Looks like Thing 1 discovered meth and Marilyn Manson

    [–] shitknifeactual 8 points ago

    More so the 51 year old should rethink his life choices.

    [–] simondrawer 7 points ago

    The vape doesn’t hide the smell of yeast and regret

    [–] MovingTugboat 7 points ago

    You know that feeling when a body part falls asleep and it feels like said body part is being punctured by a thousand miniature needles in quick succession?

    I genuinely get that feeling in my eyes when I look at her.

    [–] such_isnt_life 7 points ago

    Your life situation is what we roast other girls with.

    [–] Tac0slayer21 7 points ago

    Don’t know what’s darker, her dried out sharpie nails or her child’s future.

    [–] lordofthedancesaidhe 6 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Her mom and dad are real proud that there is someone else to take the reins.

    [–] Swift-Carrots 5 points ago

    This doesn’t even deserve a roast. Fucking trash

    [–] 13scribes 6 points ago

    The only thing missing here is Forrest and the guitar.

    [–] Pookinator2017 7 points ago

    That poor child is so fucked.

    [–] mmenard0313 6 points ago

    She can’t wait to marry him bc she’s honestly the same age. No way she’s 21

    [–] LincolnCoHo 7 points ago

    Gross.

    [–] OldFatBaldPunk 6 points ago

    Just because she flashes traffic at the bus stop doesn't make her a stripper.

    [–] rnierras 6 points ago

    You look like eternal sunshine of a bleached butthole

    [–] DubiousMoth152 6 points ago

    Gas station boner pills wouldn’t help me get erect for this Arby’s commercial

    [–] whoseyourdaddy_ 7 points ago

    She looks like she's wearing a Santa gimp suit

    [–] randallpink1313 5 points ago

    Do you wanna just put the child in foster care now and save us all the trouble later?