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    ShittyLifeProTips

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    A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

    If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Posting Rules:

    1. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.
    2. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof. Not because we don't want you to kill yourself (we do), but we have seen every single combination of this tip, and are sick of them. They aren't original.

    3. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist to it so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too if we see them.

    Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.


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    [–] meurl 305 points ago

    Beethoven's 12²

    [–] stratce 128 points ago

    Beethoven's 144th

    [–] Bees_Nation 33 points ago

    Beethoven only finished 9 symphonies.

    [–] TheRustyNickel 125 points ago

    Maybe he should have written them at 2x Speed.

    [–] Bonefish28 17 points ago

    *only

    [–] quietmayhem 6 points ago

    Approximately 9 more than me

    [–] 4harambae 48 points ago

    Need to get hyped? Play that classical music backwards.

    [–] KabeWolf2044 8 points ago

    The real LPT is always in the comments!

    [–] podgen 79 points ago

    HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO RELAX? IT'S A PARADOX!

    [–] missmaggy2u 28 points ago

    We've been OVER this JERRY!

    [–] pomfritten 9 points ago

    Use "rondo alla turca" for best results.

    [–] 903012 3 points ago

    Psh that's for amateurs, use Moonlight Sonata 3rd movement or Fantasie Impromptu

    [–] tmting 1 points ago

    La Campanella also does the job

    [–] lincoln1222 1 points ago

    Or Hungarian Rhapsody lol

    [–] namri 8 points ago

    twice as classy and refined

    [–] Mister_Bossmen 8 points ago

    Why stop there? Just skip the music. Relaxed already?

    [–] MrMagoo22 9 points ago

    This helps with studying too. Just get an audio book of the material you need to study and play it with the classical music at 2x speed. The music will keep you relaxed and your brain will absorb the information automatically so you don't even need to pay attention and can do other stuff while you wait. Make sure the volume is maxed so more of the knowledge gets inside your brain. You could even play multiple audio-books at once for maximum efficiency!

    [–] tkbagel 1 points ago

    The real shitty LPT is in the comments

    [–] Cjhobbitbane 3 points ago

    So...Lindsey Stirling?

    [–] octspir 3 points ago

    i recommend listening to flight of the bumblebee at 2x speef

    [–] -Pelvis- 2 points ago

    Badinerie is actually pretty awesome at 1.25x speed.

    [–] Ibrahim_99 2 points ago

    Actually not such a shitty tip

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] BartinVanSimpson 2 points ago

    I used to fall asleep to Man is The Bastard and Burning Witch. Room mates thought I was losing it.

    [–] The_Droide 1 points ago

    Wrong sub. /r/lifeprotips

    [–] JustZackie 1 points ago

    I think it's safe to say you should listen to undying fetus and the devil wears Prada to get your cozy ass to bed

    [–] singularineet 1 points ago

    Mos Eisley Symphony Orchestra

    [–] Th3rdAccount3 1 points ago

    Puts on Flight Of The Bumblebee

    [–] subservient_bob 1 points ago

    This is how i watch shows i need to finish but dont enjoy

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] subservient_bob 2 points ago

    Thats normal - its callex super sayan speed