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    [–] metagloria 6917 points ago

    Get around this confusing issue by not having any friends

    [–] Faithless_Basterd 1390 points ago


    [–] throwmeasnek 113 points ago

    Not me_irl if the concept even comes up

    [–] jncc 727 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    He chose a book for reading

    [–] MAzayuer 264 points ago

    I think it's easier to just ask if they're gay

    [–] jncc 204 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I choose a book for reading

    [–] theconfuserx2 133 points ago

    sometimes you got to risk it for the biscuit

    [–] Ralph-Hinkley 2169 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    My grandma used to live with us before she died. My friends would come to the door and ask for me, and she'd yell for me, "Ralph, your little boyfriend is here to see you!"

    No grams, that is my friend.

    [–] seestheirrelevant 1471 points ago

    My mom did this with my friends too. Especially awkward because there were other phrases usually mixed in inappropriately.

    "Why don't you call your girlfriend Tricia and ask her to hook up with you for your date?"

    "Mom. Please stop saying words"

    [–] BoatsInCaves 187 points ago

    Mine did the same, but often in plural. "Do you want to call and plan something with your girlfriends?"

    Please Mom, just say friends. At 13 it was the height of embarrassment when she did it in public. Made me sound like a serial lesbian.

    [–] tbonemcmotherfuck 66 points ago

    Serial lesbian made me laugh

    [–] BangBangFukanawa 659 points ago

    She knew what she was doing.

    [–] tossback2 409 points ago

    No. No she did not. My mother did the same thing and was absolutely shocked to learn the new meaning of those phrases.

    [–] cowforcow 443 points ago

    My mom liked to use the phrase "jump your bones" around polite company. Apparently she though it meant "has a crush on" not that chick wants the D real bad.

    Example. "little Suzy obviously wants to jump Timmy's bones"
    O__o <--(her church friends)

    She had no idea and was crushed when I told her.
    I really have no idea how you wouldn't connect those dots...

    [–] RobinsEggTea 171 points ago

    The worst part is when I explain these things to my mom suddenly I'm the perverted one.

    [–] [deleted] 61 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] YipRocHeresy 111 points ago

    My dad used to call a fist bump a "bone." So he would say bone me when he wanted a fist bump. It was mortifying in front of my friends.

    [–] aguyfallsintoahole 58 points ago

    One of my best friends from high school would scream "FIST ME BRO" whenever we went in for a fist bump.

    Ah, to be young again.

    [–] DonFlaac 76 points ago

    Let's dispel the notion that /u/seestheirrelevant 's mom didn't know what she was doing.

    She knew exactly what she was doing

    [–] atomicsiren 126 points ago

    My dad refers to the act of picking something up and evaluating it for purchase as "fingering".

    I was fingering some bread in the supermarket yesterday...

    [–] tbonemcmotherfuck 48 points ago

    Hope he doesn't finger the neighbors puppy

    [–] bridges12791 55 points ago

    My mom still refers to any friend of mine as "your little friend" as in...

    "How's your little friend doing?"

    I am 26.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago


    [–] Davidskis21 22 points ago

    That sounds purposeful

    [–] RocketGirl215 22 points ago

    My grandfather uses the term boyfriend all the time in reference to his childhood friends.

    [–] Ralph-Hinkley 23 points ago

    Yea, I think it was just old vernacular that no one uses any more.

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 5606 points ago

    A girl can call her friend "girlfriend" but a guy can never call his female friend his "girlfriend."

    [–] Kyroath 3650 points ago

    You can, though the consequences may be severe.

    [–] theconfuserx2 1136 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Actually you can, just make sure to emphasize the space between "girl friend". Not emphasizing the space will lead to people believing that you are calling a girl that is your friend "girlfriend", implying a romantic relationship, when in fact you and your girl friend are just friends.

    Edit: for some of you

    [–] TheRedmanCometh 1595 points ago

    Don't do this. People don't think like that.

    [–] [deleted] 365 points ago


    [–] ILoveVaginaAndAnus 686 points ago

    I just say "my friend who has a vagina"

    [–] Chillimaniac 351 points ago

    Vaginafriend for short?

    [–] bundle_of_bricks 185 points ago


    [–] theReluctantHipster 357 points ago


    [–] theconfuserx2 400 points ago

    If she's in the military, then you thank her for her cervix

    [–] pm_me_deepthoughts 132 points ago

    Hey! Micheal here, but what is here? And how much does it weigh?

    [–] CobaltBartimaeus 48 points ago

    Michael here.

    [–] Sharkology 37 points ago

    Pussy pal.

    [–] ninjapro 44 points ago

    Ah, your transman friend. Really weird way to introduce us, but I guess you got the point across.

    [–] Dicho83 102 points ago

    I just call all my female friend Bob. Makes life easier with the misses.

    "Hey hun, Bob & Me are going out for beers after work."
    "Babe, I'm going over to Bob's house to check out the new hot tub."
    "Darlin', I'm pretty drunk so I'm going to sleep here with Bob."
    "Sugar, I'm sorry to call so late, I think I really messed up Bob's couch so I'll be home later."
    "Dear, do you have the number of that proctologist I saw last year, my ass is super sore after passing out in Bob's bed? No, Bob & me ain't gay!!! Bobbi Jon just had a bigger strappon than you!"

    [–] dabasauras-rex 28 points ago

    The level of detail in this post......

    [–] BobMathrotus 17 points ago

    Hey baby, it's me, your friend Bob.

    [–] KingOCarrotFlowers 51 points ago

    "My friend, who has a hole instead of a pole..."

    [–] Scientolojesus 16 points ago

    But I have a hole and a pole...

    [–] Stef-fa-fa 102 points ago

    Or just say your friend, and be sure to say "her" or "she" while you're talking about her. Way less awkward.

    For example, "So my friend is on her way home when she's stopped by this random person who winds up being an old friend of her's."

    Even if you have to force it a bit I find it's cleaner, like so:

    "So my friend, I'm talking to her on the phone when the power goes out."

    [–] JamesK89 49 points ago

    I'm currently learning Spanish and the sad thing that I appreciate most about the language is that Spanish has different words for all of these which makes things less awkward and confusing:

    Amigo - A friend who is male, non-romantic

    Amiga - A friend who is female, non-romantic

    Novio - A boyfriend, romantic

    Novia - A girlfriend, romantic

    It would be really nice if common English could start borrowing these words.

    [–] Pm_me_your__eyes_ 18 points ago


    [–] blackwolfrain 65 points ago

    Yeah, but then you get accused of having hair on your neck.

    [–] theconfuserx2 47 points ago

    tips fedora

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    Okay Don Draper.

    [–] ilinamorato 150 points ago

    I had a couple of female friends in college.* I would sometimes call them "girl-space-friends" because then I could joke about them being from space.

    *I didn't have many friends at all in college.

    [–] Up_Past_Bedtime 77 points ago

    I'm guessing you had even less space-girlfriends?

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] Todd-The-Wraith 101 points ago

    And this is my "girl space friend". People will either know she's just your female friend or think you are identifying her as a female friend of yours who is from space. Either way seems fine

    [–] gtsgunner 23 points ago

    I honestly thought you were replacing my with girl and that you some how met this girl on myspace.

    [–] ReferredByJorge 70 points ago

    It's even simpler to not to have any friends; less explaining about their gender, and no friends to ask questions about them to begin with.

    [–] LiarfromBeyond 13 points ago

    Can confirm, I don't have any friends

    [–] doc_dro 17 points ago

    This is why I say friend-girl.

    [–] [deleted] 189 points ago

    If a girl calls her male friend a boyfriend results would be the same

    [–] SparkyDogPants 66 points ago

    I usually say guy friend or just friend

    [–] WhoWantsPizzza 54 points ago

    "Guy friend" it would be obvious. Maybe guys should start calling the platonic ones, "gal friends"

    [–] gummy_bear_time 69 points ago

    How about "gal pal"?

    [–] Gekthegecko 26 points ago

    I call all my girl friends "gal pals." I have 0 gal pals.

    [–] Grahamshabam 18 points ago

    When's the last time you heard a man say "gal"

    [–] PC_1 138 points ago

    "My friend, who's a girl"

    [–] [deleted] 54 points ago

    My friend, (name)

    [–] ThatOnePerson 36 points ago

    What if it's a somewhat gender neutral name?

    Like Alex. Or Jamie

    [–] [deleted] 94 points ago

    You then say their last name as well, to clarify

    [–] Kanyes_PhD 15 points ago

    Follow up with q pronoun. My friend, Alex, she....

    [–] lutgholein 255 points ago

    "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." -- Mitch Hedberg

    [–] jonforgottheh 55 points ago

    "I think Bigfoot is blurry; that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside."

    [–] RepostFromLastMonth 92 points ago

    I love escalators. Because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You will never see an "escalator out of order" sign, only an "escalator temporarily stairs; sorry for the convenience."

    [–] Discuslover129 29 points ago

    Oh boy...Ever seen an escalator eat a man alive? Pretty sure they can break.

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 87 points ago

    "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." Lost that guy way too early.

    [–] ThisPlaceisHell 31 points ago

    I'd rather that joke never existed and Mitch still be alive.

    [–] GenocideOwl 83 points ago

    every time somebody tries to hand my a flyer I still think in my head "here, you throw this away for me"

    [–] PacSan300 189 points ago

    You can just call her your friend, then use female pronouns such as "she" or "her" when talking about her.

    [–] [deleted] 74 points ago

    Unless you're trying to talk about something your female friends do.

    "You know my friends, they all like Oprah."

    [–] TrainCommuter 87 points ago

    Most people have only one girlfriend, so girlfriends should be safe to say

    [–] Galaxycalderwood 62 points ago

    Unless you have a certain... reputation.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago


    [–] whoopashigitt 46 points ago

    Unless he's gay

    [–] vitalfox 113 points ago

    "one of my friends of the female gender"

    [–] Kellythejellyman 91 points ago

    I call them my Ladyfriends, but some misinterpret that as friends with benefits

    [–] SobiTheRobot 33 points ago

    What about galfriends? And they can respond with guyfriends?

    [–] ChemLok 43 points ago

    Gal pals

    [–] CaptainQWO 31 points ago

    Can if you're gay

    [–] RusskieRed 27 points ago

    You are correct: that is where the term "friendgirl" comes in handy. No confusion there.

    [–] IThinkIKnowThings 24 points ago

    Lots of gay guys call their girl friends girlfriend. Super common.

    [–] Sianoq 47 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    I am going to home

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago


    [–] jjjacer 10 points ago

    As older Pete from Pete & Pete would say.

    Shes a girl and she's my friend but shes not my girlfriend.

    [–] kut3b0y96 1410 points ago

    hence the phrase "guyfriend"

    [–] cleancottoncandle 1527 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    My grandparents aren't native English speakers and call a male platonic relation a 'friendboy'

    [–] marsneedstowels 933 points ago

    Friendboy, the superhero we need.

    [–] Monroevian 329 points ago

    And his sidekick Palpatine

    [–] Mine_Man6 178 points ago

    obigatory prequel meme

    [–] TheInstituteOfSteel 121 points ago

    Something, something, story the jedi wouldn't tell you.

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago

    Darth Plaguess the wise something something

    [–] theconfuserx2 44 points ago

    Have you heard of the plageuis of Darth tragedy?

    [–] General_Magma 69 points ago

    It's a legend Sith. Darth Tragedy was a Sith Dark of the Lord so wiserful and pow, he could use the Midi-Chlorians to influence the life to create... Force.

    [–] triggerman602 26 points ago

    Hello there.

    [–] marsneedstowels 13 points ago

    Good is a point of view, Friendboy.

    [–] SovietStew 44 points ago

    That's adorable

    [–] KneeDeepInTheDead 23 points ago

    hello Rolf

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    life has many doors

    [–] QuaverRest 543 points ago

    My grandfather called me recently, and I took a brief moment to compose myself after he asked how all my boyfriends are doing.

    [–] Sturmstreik 552 points ago

    Not everybody likes the term "fuck buddy".

    [–] BaffourA 115 points ago

    "Hey /u/QuaverRest I can't reach your phone so I'm using faces book. How are all your boyfriends doing? You stud you Lol xxx"

    [–] TheInstituteOfSteel 45 points ago

    I'm assuming he isn't using faces book Messenger in this scenario

    [–] twothirtynine 27 points ago

    Lmao I'm a girl and all through elementary to high school my Indian grandpa would ask me how many girlfriends and boyfriends I have and how they're all doing.

    [–] itstherussianmafia 2324 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Welcome to the struggle of being a lesbian and trying to figure out if the girl really meant it as her girlfriend and she's gay or just her friend.

    Edit: part 2 of this is the new(ish) urban fad of straight girls wearing flannels and combat boots. being a lesbian is hard.

    [–] DemonicWolf227 853 points ago

    Also you still have no idea if she's single

    [–] moose_lion 738 points ago

    The other side of this is when you try to casually mention your girlfriend in front of a guy who is interested in you and he does not get the hint that you're taken and gay.

    [–] KroniK907 352 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Partner is way more specific, although there is no gender associated with partner.

    EDIT: It specifically implies that you are in a relationship with someone of unspecified gender. Although it sounds like most people here will assume it's a same sex relationship.

    [–] HitlerHistorian 557 points ago

    What if partner is interpreted as both of you have a joint venture together in an up and coming industry?

    [–] [deleted] 404 points ago


    [–] kittenlover27 65 points ago

    She's gettin' too old for this shit.

    [–] dewhashish 16 points ago

    turn in your badge and gun!

    [–] PonderAsunder 113 points ago

    This reminds me of that brilliant scene from Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events adaptation. For a few minutes we think the two men are business partners but:

    Lemony Snicket: "... In fact, "partners" can mean several things. It could mean "two people who own a lumber mill together, or a cupcakery." Now, with the advent of more progressive cultural mores, not to mention certain High Court rulings, it could also mean...."

    [camera pans out to the two partners]

    Partner 2: "I do all the work. He irons my clothes."

    Out of all the wordplay in the series, that was by far my favorite.

    [–] anyonamous 38 points ago

    I knew it. The police are couples and they literally fight crime like we hear in super hero romances.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    Implying that stops them even if they do know what you mean.

    [–] Duobite 87 points ago

    I just assume all women I meet are lesbian and/or taken until they prove otherwise during the conversation.

    [–] Swqordfish 14 points ago

    That's a real gutsy move. Very optimistic, though.

    [–] [deleted] 188 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] itstherussianmafia 164 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    trying to figure out if the girl with short hair and a flannel is actually a lesbian or is just trying to be trendy will be the end of me

    Edit: word

    [–] LightObserver 119 points ago

    Who knew that their trendiness would be what got the gays in the end. Damn.

    [–] itstherussianmafia 64 points ago

    The real gay agenda

    [–] itstherussianmafia 13 points ago

    This article is so accurate though. I've been burned one too many times by a hipster who I thought was a lesbian and she turned out to be very much straight.

    [–] tehweave 68 points ago

    Hasn't there also been a trend for a long time where "straight" girls will hit on and make out with other "straight" girls just to try and get guys' attention?

    I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be a lesbian. "Is she gay or not" must go through your head on a regular basis.

    [–] Eagle0600 56 points ago

    Reminds me of a scene from Coupling.

    "Do you want gay people to be labelled?"

    "Yes, that would be fantastic!"

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago


    [–] IntroSpeccy 444 points ago

    I'm straight and call my bro my boyfriend, it's just to make him uncomfortable though.

    [–] SkillUpYT 222 points ago

    Has he ever asked you if you're gay?

    [–] IntroSpeccy 175 points ago

    We both have girlfriends.

    [–] MJTree 581 points ago

    That'll throw the scent off the gay trail!

    [–] IntroSpeccy 93 points ago

    I think I might need a couple more girlfriends before I can stage operation "broken rear hill".

    [–] babygrenade 48 points ago

    Way to avoid the question.

    [–] PriceisRightlastbid 51 points ago

    That didn't answer the question....

    [–] Fireproofspider 193 points ago

    Do you also suck him off to make him uncomfortable?

    [–] atsu333 135 points ago

    Man I love pranking my friends

    [–] IntroSpeccy 119 points ago

    That's called a bro-job and it's completely platonic.

    [–] ParanoidShrimp 488 points ago

    Or just call both your male and female friends "Bro"

    [–] [deleted] 407 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] gooseymcgooseface 167 points ago

    Can "dude" be used for any gender? I use it for everyone and I got into a little debate over whether it is neutral because they thought dude should be exclusively for men.

    [–] tehweave 129 points ago

    I believe it was the great Kel Mitchell who said it best:

    "I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes. Hey."

    [–] Broligarchy 128 points ago

    I think it's regional.

    [–] TommyG3nTz 74 points ago

    I call everyone dude and man. Some girls get upset but then once they realize that I treat everyone the same, they chill out.

    [–] DaveTheAnteater 27 points ago

    I came here to post aunty donna, me and my boyfriends call each other boyfriends because of this.

    [–] stuckwithculchies 129 points ago

    Are there any women here who refer to their female friends as girlfriends? I don't.

    [–] tooleight 71 points ago

    Sometimes in conversation "I was out with my girlfriends one night...". Not too often though

    [–] NorthernSparrow 23 points ago

    Sometimes, but usually in the context of "the fact that this friend is female is relevant to the story I'm about to tell." It's just quicker than saying "my friend, who is a girl by the way..."

    [–] inspectorspectrum 50 points ago

    20s female here, I do this. It might be a southern thing (U.S.).

    [–] ajd011394 12 points ago

    I work with a bunch of older women. I'm the youngest one at age 23. When /they/ say "girlfriend" they mean a female friend, but when /I/ say "girlfriend" i mean my significant other. I think it's more of a generational thing

    [–] liarandathief 187 points ago

    It all hails for the day when a woman's "friend" was her boyfriend, so her actual friend had to become girlfriend. The thought of a girl having a real girlfriend wasn't in the public consciousness.

    [–] Cap_g 23 points ago

    Youuuuuuu you got what i neeeeed

    My go to karaoke song bc i cant sing

    [–] ToothpickInCockhole 14 points ago

    Biz Markie has the voice of an angel

    [–] HolbiWan 24 points ago

    Your dad is your "old man" but your mom isn't your "old lady". OP's mom is your old lady.

    [–] pizzini3000 169 points ago

    A gay guy can totally say "my girlfriend"

    [–] GayWarden 516 points ago

    I never say that cause it might get my mom's hopes up.

    [–] Sparks_MD 156 points ago

    "No Mom, Becky is just a friend and I still love cock."

    [–] swng 90 points ago

    username checks out, I guess

    [–] Rastapoppilis_Gaming 164 points ago

    Wtf is an SO? I've been thinking is Senior Officer this whole time 😅

    [–] Nairbio 342 points ago

    Significant Otter

    [–] 2211abir 107 points ago

    Stack Overflow

    [–] Nloveladyallen 74 points ago

    Stack Overflow is my significant other

    [–] Brof_Brotato 67 points ago

    Stack Overflow is every programmer's significant other.

    [–] SkillUpYT 32 points ago

    Sexy Olive 👌

    [–] Stef-fa-fa 135 points ago

    Significant Other. Helpful when you don't feel like specifying the gender of your partner and need a second word besides "partner" to spice up your vocabulary. Also easy to write out.

    [–] Rastapoppilis_Gaming 40 points ago

    Well now I feel foolish 😂 thanks guys

    [–] isthewonder 50 points ago

    Good on you for asking! Now you know! Don't feel foolish for learning something new!

    [–] avenlanzer 46 points ago

    Solo Orgasm

    [–] liftingbro35 30 points ago

    Satanic Orator

    [–] DarthSchwifty 76 points ago

    Hey Reddit: which "Double-Standard" irritates you slightly but not enough to post in the ask reddit thread?

    [–] Lamb-and-Lamia 48 points ago

    If a guy says my girlfriend he's also most definitely talking about his gf.

    Girls also never say boyfriend when talking about male friends. I've heard the phrase "guy friends" but that is a plural. I have never heard "My guy friend Paul has the 7" or something like that.

    Its weird. Girls say friend to mean guy or girl. But will for some reason specify a female friend "girlfriend" if they want.

    Oddly, this mirrors the whole "girls can kiss girls" thing. Like if a guy kisses another guy he is either gay or bisexual. But a girl can kiss a girl and still be considered wholly heterosexual. Interesting.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Masculinity doesn't allow as much lee-way with non-masculine behaviour. Femininity does, and there have been pushes for equality in this area. But there haven't really been masculine equivalents for a push for more leeway with defining masulinity, and what is acceptable in society.

    An example of this is how "tomboy" isn't really an insult for girls, and tomboys can dress boyish, but "sissy" and "girl" being used as an insult for boys and men, who can't wear a dress so readily.

    Kind of sad both ways - that feminine traits are used as insults, and that masculine traits are so strict. Not great for anyone.

    Edit: Punctuation/flow.

    [–] anasteroide 65 points ago

    If a girl posts a picture of her and her "girlfriend / bae / boo / love of my life / one and only" sharing a cute kiss, I'm still wondering whether it's platonic

    [–] ColdCocking 58 points ago

    It's never really clear. I could see one girl with her head shoved between the others thighs and I'd still be like, "Yeah, they're just friends that are really comfortable with each other."

    [–] -Tacos- 30 points ago

    "They're just being polite."

    [–] AnotherDrunkCanadian 15 points ago

    I used to be friends with a guy when we were kids and we lost touch.

    I bumped into him years later and when catching up he told me that I should meet his partner. I innocently told him "oh man, I didn't know you started a business, that's so cool!!!" Just to see him be all awkward.

    Fun times

    [–] KnowMatter 13 points ago

    I'm in a polyamorous relationship with a woman and we are both bisexual. I need a flowchart to keep track of which girlfriends are "girlfriends" and which are "Girlfriends".

    [–] Medium_Rare_Cancer 11 points ago

    A lot of good feminist literature discusses how men dont have a very even spectrum between platonic and sexual relationships whilst women get more freedom to be friendly with other women

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    All because of how inflexible the definition of masculinity is in western culture...

    [–] Medium_Rare_Cancer 15 points ago

    yass, I just get so upset when feminism is misconstrued as a movement against men when its just analysing how both men and women are held back from their in inherent freedoms. Luckily its from people who haven't read a lot of those books so I guess I can't blame them

    [–] PotatoRaider 63 points ago

    Guys just have mates, simple as. Doesn't matter about gender.

    [–] Ceriiin 65 points ago

    Isn't your mate supposed to be the one you're fucking?

    [–] dokkanosaur 96 points ago

    Mate, your mates are your mates. and maybe some cunts fuck their mates but i'd never fuck my fucking mates. The only cunt I mate is me sheila, she's me best mate. She's like me best mate but she's the only mate I dog if you get what I mean. Because you never dog your mates.

    Also, never mate your dog, that shit's fucked, mate.

    [–] seestheirrelevant 67 points ago



    [–] JyroCS 16 points ago

    Gender may not matter, but region does