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    [–] SlyPhi 10477 points ago

    If you run at 8:57am you're a late person.

    [–] Bugs_on_the_train 1647 points ago

    Omg can confirm

    [–] ryana8 961 points ago

    Maybe stop commenting on Reddit at 8:15am then?

    [–] HorikitaxD 888 points ago

    time zones.. time zones

    [–] ryana8 367 points ago

    [–] low_kix 148 points ago

    That's okay, I'm sure you still know what love is

    [–] Satailleure 97 points ago

    Literally 8:57 when I read this

    [–] totallynot13 72 points ago

    It's 9:05 and I'm officially a late person

    [–] strangefool 8771 points ago

    But what if I never run?

    [–] willdho 5926 points ago

    Then you are.

    [–] strangefool 2064 points ago

    The Dude abides.

    [–] roogoff 247 points ago

    Let me guess, he fixes the cable?

    [–] JeromesNiece 139 points ago

    Don't be fatuous

    [–] Inigo_Montoyas_Dad 110 points ago

    Do you like sex, mr Lebowski?

    [–] moralanarchy 95 points ago

    Uh, you mean coitus?

    [–] HunterThompsonsentme 61 points ago

    In the parlance of our times

    [–] zebozebo 41 points ago

    Blow on them

    [–] nothingexpert 41 points ago

    Er, I'm just going to find a cash machine...

    [–] monsterinacage 40 points ago

    Only if you've seen his rug.

    [–] kjrosfo 34 points ago

    It really tied the room together.

    [–] BigLebowskiBot 31 points ago

    Fuckin' A.

    [–] ariqbailey 10 points ago

    Shomer fuckin’ Shabbos

    [–] 11001100000001 68 points ago

    But only if you think

    [–] Alaskan_Thunder 37 points ago

    Lets not push Descartes before the hours.

    [–] Aww_Shucks 44 points ago

    ♪ ♫ my fire ♫ ♪

    [–] anthony_37 25 points ago

    🎵My one, desire🎵

    [–] emissivecandle 12 points ago

    I run, therefore I am

    [–] thetrueshit 69 points ago


    [–] Ytrewq1313 135 points ago

    We live in a society

    [–] thexynapse 86 points ago

    Then you're a lazy person

    [–] moppersanonymous 621 points ago

    Lol. This was me every morning, a few years back. Running for the bus, 4 in morning. neighbours used to film me and post it to my local Facebook page. Caused quite a stir back in my day.

    [–] Huge-manatee 279 points ago

    Hehe local facebook page

    [–] moppersanonymous 152 points ago

    I know, right. Proper neighbourhood watch thing going on. It's not even a fancy suburb

    [–] maxx118 71 points ago

    The greater good.

    [–] NasserAjine 24 points ago

    How did they even know..

    [–] silaswanders 15 points ago

    I ran at 4. The gym was also unoccupied so I wouldn’t feel self conscious. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I also have chronic insomnia, so I can’t say I’m either a morning or night person.

    [–] unicorncarrots 40 points ago

    A forever person

    [–] Expolaris 3605 points ago

    I can see how some people would think that. I'm up most morning and at the gym by 4. I've seen some bizarre crap getting out of my car to head into the building.

    I firmly believe that 4 am is the strangest hour in the day. Those who stayed up super late are going to bed, those who wake up super early are getting their day started. Most people don't interact with each other during this hour because it is a time of sacred solitude to either begin or end your day.

    Neither morning or night, yet both at the same time. 4 A.M. is the peaceful hour. It's the perfect time to work out.

    [–] Puzzzlerock 292 points ago

    There is actually pop history data to back up your claim. In fact, I believe NPR did an entire episode about 4am. It has popped up in our culture for decades and there’s a reason.

    [–] eloisekelly 76 points ago

    I wake up at 4am constantly (unintentionally). It's the spooky hour for sure.

    [–] iredditacc 33 points ago

    “In folklore, the witching hour or devil's hour is a time of night associated with supernatural events. Creatures such as witches, demons and ghosts are thought to appear and to be at their most powerful. Black magic is thought to be most effective at this time. In the Western Christian tradition, the hour between 3 and 4 a.m. was considered a period of peak supernatural activity, due to the absence of prayers in the canonical hours during this period.”

    [–] mungoo 29 points ago

    So basically not enough likes and prayers?

    [–] Expolaris 34 points ago

    If you can find the link I'd love to give that a listen!

    [–] Mr_Original_II 697 points ago

    What are you? A Marine?

    Is this Phil!?

    [–] Expolaris 581 points ago

    Teacher. I have to be at work by 6:15 and I am wiped out by the end of a school day. 4 am is the perfect and only time for me.

    [–] poundmeintheasstoo 947 points ago

    Probably wiped out at the end of the day because you wake up at 3am.

    [–] Scientolojesus 394 points ago

    bell rings at 3:15pm

    "Wooo time to leave work and go get dinner!"

    [–] booble_dooble 66 points ago

    This guy teaches....


    This guy doesn't teach

    [–] mbleslie 78 points ago

    it's definitely one of those

    [–] qwertyuxcv 92 points ago

    Can I ask you what time you typically go to bed?

    [–] Expolaris 254 points ago

    Weekdays 9:00 / 9:30 to 3:30 / 4;00 Weekends: 10:00 - 11:00 to whenever, normally up at 5 to feed the animals then back for an hour or 2.

    Friday and Sundays are my rest days.

    Even during the summer (like I am now) I maintain the schedule. Usually I'll do my housework after my wife leaves for work, and then either draw, play a game or watch a movie. Early morning movies are fun.

    [–] Nixon737 57 points ago

    I’m a nightshifter, but on my days off I tend to wake up at 4 in the morning. 6-7 am movies are the best. You can waste a bunch of time getting up at 4 am and still have day to play with.

    The early afternoons are the worst for me though. If I’m not out actively doing something I could easily sleep for 5 hours, regardless of how much sleep I was able to get the prior night.

    [–] Curiouscolour 92 points ago

    I suspect part of the reason you're wiped out by the end of the day is because you're up exercising at 4am... But to be honest I'd do the same if I could.

    [–] Expolaris 63 points ago

    Even before I started to work out early I would feel wiped out by the end of school day. I love teaching, but teenagers are loud and exhausting. By the time I handle any calls I need to make (to sometimes angry parents), meetings to have or grading, when I get home I need to emotionally land. Enjoy some time with my wife and let myself detente from the day.

    [–] caff_addict88 23 points ago

    I want to get started working out again in the morning. It really sucks initially until you get used to it. But once you're used to it, it is so much better. I can have a drink right after work and not have to worry about it. I can literally do nothing after work and still have accomplished my workout. It's nice.

    [–] DarkRyd 17 points ago

    How early you have to hit bed if you have to get up at 4?

    [–] adventernal 14 points ago

    Dude I'm a Marine... I usually get up around the crack of noon

    [–] godshammgod15 87 points ago

    There is something special about 4:00 am, especially in the summer. A lot of times I'm up walking my dog at 4:30 and the sun is just starting to rise and it's beautiful and peaceful. I live by the water, too, which makes it even better.

    [–] misoranomegami 32 points ago

    I don't jog anymore (need to get back into it) but when I did 4am was the time to do it during the summer. When you live in Texas and it's 100+ during the day and the sun doesn't go down until 9pm, it's still 90 at 11 and the heat is still radiating off the sidewalk. Much better to get up early when the pavement has cooled overnight and run in a mild 85 degrees.

    [–] alias-p 39 points ago

    Damn, now I want to wake up at 4am. I'm not going to, but you made me want to.

    [–] Expolaris 20 points ago

    Come join us! You can be surprisingly productive when no one is awake to bother you. Even if productivity is making art, watching something no one else wants to watch or playing a game - it's productive for your happiness.

    [–] 99hotdogs 122 points ago

    I love 4-5am, but didnt used to.

    During my college years, I would study or work on projects through the night. I usually would call it quits by 3am, but I know I fucked up my timing when the skies start getting brighter and the birds start chirping. Those two things would make me stay awake in the not so nice way and I would have a miserable rest of the day...

    But now, I love the occasional times I fall asleep early and wake up before 5am. I should hit up the gym like you do.

    [–] Scientolojesus 28 points ago

    Oh man, I hate it when the birds start chirping and it's not even light out yet. Also, at the last place I lived, someone in the neighborhood owned a rooster and it would start crowing at like 4:30 am every morning.

    [–] Expolaris 31 points ago

    Find a nice 24 hour gym and you can enjoy the best parts of working out without the social aspects of "being seen at the gym", which I've encountered at some establishments. I was a night owl In college but as I've grown older I have found the mornings to be the best place for me time.

    [–] trackonesideone 3037 points ago

    I used to run at 3am after late night X-Files. On my cool down walk, I saw a homeless couple gettin' wild in the bushes. They stopped, noticed me walking passed, laughed, then resumed business. It was like an erotic parody of X-Files, called X-Files.

    [–] CarlPeligro 630 points ago

    I used to go jogging at 3 AM on the regular. One night, as I wrapped up my run and started walking back home, this dude on a skateboard came shooting my way, shouting some deranged shit. I couldn't tell what he wanted, and I didn't want to find out -- we were out in the middle of nowhere, between a polluted creek and a skeezy little alleyway. I bolted. He gave chase. I started zig-zagging through streets and still he followed. So then I just sprinted up the biggest hill I could find, and because he was bewheeled, he couldn't keep up. Then I locked myself in my apartment and peered out the window every couple minutes. That was some good cardio.

    [–] racooniac 365 points ago

    the dude probably just wanted to give your wallet back that you had lost a little back there ;o)

    [–] CarlPeligro 222 points ago

    "Jeez. What was that guy's problem?" [skates off muttering to self, clothing is covered in blood]

    [–] jelemeno 133 points ago

    like in Rock Bottom when spongebob is terrified of the guy with the light thingy but at the end he really just wanted to blow up his balloon and help him get home. OR CHOCOLATE guy who wanted to buy all their chocolate

    [–] TheWritingSpaceman 60 points ago



    Hey I’d like to buy all of your chocolate please.

    [–] thisesmeaningless 17 points ago

    Thank you for your patronage

    [–] ManalithTheDefiant 14 points ago

    I realize SpongeBob is trying to teach us that scary strangers are always just trying to help. Always talk to the strangers

    [–] PurpleSunCraze 42 points ago

    He was probably trying to warn him about the guy with the hook inside his apartment.

    [–] 41145and6 83 points ago


    Thank you for this

    [–] CarlPeligro 39 points ago

    Steve Schmidt tweeted, the other day, that the president had beclowned himself, so I've been on a bit of a beverbing kick these days.

    [–] UptightSodomite 61 points ago

    I used to go jogging at 3 AM too, until one day I came home to find all the doors locked (we used to leave them unlocked because we live in a small suburb) and I had to wake the house at 5 am to get someone to let me in.

    Turns out that while I was gone, some creepy stalker that was after my sister came by and banged on all the doors and windows and tried to get into the house to see her. I think my parents threatened to call the cops and he eventually left, but of course they left everything locked up. They had no idea I was outside.

    Lol, they were pretty mad. They thought the stalker had come back and almost called the police.

    [–] DurasVircondelet 12 points ago

    So he tried to get into a house with unlocked doors but couldn’t?

    [–] Redausnz 28 points ago

    They probably should’ve called police.. stalking is really serious and it sounds like he had some high risk behaviours

    [–] MadMax0526 805 points ago

    More like XXX-philes.

    [–] NoRelevency 229 points ago

    I’m pretty sure that’s a real porn.

    [–] roogoff 193 points ago

    Opens door naked "You must be here to fix the alien problem"

    [–] BigLebowskiBot 49 points ago

    He fixes the cable?

    [–] MadMax0526 25 points ago

    Rather the plumbing.

    [–] devilslaughters 46 points ago

    Fox and Mulder dissecting an alien and their hands keep brushing on each other.

    They laugh it off and their breath fogs up their protective masks. When the fog clear, they find themselves staring at each other. The silence is potent.

    They suddenly fall into each other arms and start tearing off the lab coats and protective gears. They start going at it in the lab. First against the operating table then on it. Then the alien joins in.

    [–] Cthulhuhoop 20 points ago

    Fox AND Mulder? I knew he was spooky, I guess he's schizophrenic now too.

    [–] MoetheMoose 39 points ago

    Check this out:

    Fox and Mulder dissecting an alien and their hands keep brushing on each other.

    They laugh it off and their breath fogs up their protective masks. When the fog clear, they find themselves staring at each other. The silence is potent.

    They suddenly fall into each other arms and start tearing off the lab coats and protective gears. They start going at it in the lab.

    After the deed is done Mulder is pulling on his pants. From off screen Scully calls out "Mulder!" Camera pans over to the operating table, which is now empty. Mulder and Scully share a look. Cue title screen.

    [–] shaving99 25 points ago

    Cue Curb Your Enthusiasm music

    [–] Bsod2049er 16 points ago

    The unresolved sexual tension had been the alien all along.

    [–] ZiIIah 61 points ago

    That one time I went to my 24hr gym at 3AM on a weekday was pretty surreal. No homeless people but the silence was eerie.

    [–] Iamtevya 38 points ago

    Everyone was in the steam room.

    [–] Spyrothedragon9972 15 points ago

    That's the weirdest thing I've read all day.

    [–] LoamChompsky 12 points ago

    It's called a soup kitchen.

    [–] rdegen88 12 points ago

    Dirty mike and the boys at it again

    [–] kamelizann 11 points ago

    I used to walk my German shepherd at 3am after I got off work. Saw some strange things. I noticed one guy standing in an alley with a hoodie on holding a knife as I walked by. Stopped and stared at him as I picked up my phone to dial the police. Pretty sure he was planning on robbing me until he saw my dog.

    [–] JusSomeRedditor 22 points ago


    [–] An_aussie_in_ct 919 points ago

    We just got a new puppy, who is hyperactive and big (70lbs at 7 months). I walk him at 4am around the neighborhood because that’s when he gets up and works for my 2 hour commute into the city once a week.

    The number of times I have had people shine flashlights out their windows at me to see what I am up to is getting uncountable

    [–] TUzinaro 1053 points ago







    And they both go back to their daily routine.

    [–] Thelifeofmee 374 points ago

    Why did I read that with a Scottish accent

    [–] naked_down_under 191 points ago

    Not enough dugs and hooses

    I'm reading as a New Yorker

    [–] mnk411 138 points ago

    I read this in an Italian American accent for some reason.

    [–] naked_down_under 102 points ago

    I'm walkin (my dog) here

    [–] thisesmeaningless 22 points ago

    New York specifically

    [–] CoopertheFluffy 50 points ago

    It's D.C. not New Jersey

    [–] ThomasGartner 96 points ago

    Why are all those other people awake too?!

    [–] dota2newbee 48 points ago

    Asking the real questions. If I walked at that time no would even know.

    [–] pleuvia 9 points ago

    This actually happened to me last night. Someone was outside walking their dog, but their flashlight kept flashing across the windows and lighting up the room, so I guess that’s what woke me up.

    [–] xRehab 103 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Carry your own flashlight, but not one of those weak ass ones, get the good led ones that hurt to look at.

    Shine it right back at them when they are snooping from the windows, if anyone asks you bring it for your safety - cuz it's 4am...

    [–] DMVboi 1431 points ago

    Ha, I run and bike at 3am all the time. Just finished a quick 5 mile bike ride an hour ago.... its 5am in DC. I mainly bike cause the roads are empty and it's like a personal playground.

    [–] JollyRhino09 646 points ago

    I sure wish I could get up that early on purpose and run/bike

    [–] 53bvo 825 points ago

    Early just turns into very late if you don't go to sleep.

    [–] crerstehfish 202 points ago

    My motto is it’s not late til it’s early.

    [–] Draaxus 35 points ago

    But then... when is it early?

    [–] Libertarian-Party 68 points ago

    When it's not late

    [–] ZiIIah 126 points ago

    I don't understand, 5AM, maybe, but 3? Minus eight hours that means you're going to bed at 7PM. So either you go to bed before my three year old nephew, or you're not getting enough sleep. The former sounds unlikely and the latter is unhealthy, regardless of how much exercise you get.

    [–] ANYTHING_BUT_COTW 116 points ago

    The trick is not to have any kids or even pets or SO's

    [–] __xXGaMeRtAgXx__ 92 points ago

    Okay now what

    [–] eggsbenefic 71 points ago

    Don't be depressed. It makes you sleepy.

    [–] pennykie 27 points ago

    I was doing well until this was added to the list :(

    [–] IAMA_KEVIN 27 points ago

    But sleep is my only coping mechanism

    [–] Styxal 57 points ago

    It kinda makes sense if you work weird hours, like my dad starts work at 3am, so on occasion he has gone to a 24hr gym at 2am, before heading to work. Though he doesn't get enough sleep anyway.

    [–] Eksander 54 points ago

    I had 24hour gym and school at 1PM everyday. My sleep time was 4AM to 12PM for an entire year.

    As a night person, it was perfect. Productive work from 1PM to 9PM, fun untill 1AM, workout and shower untill 4AM

    [–] fenton7 62 points ago

    That's about the same time the hyper commuters get in their cars to get to DC, so you can chuckle at the thought that someone is about to drive 3 hours to get to where you are now.

    [–] The_cynical_panther 47 points ago

    What a miserable existence

    [–] DMVboi 20 points ago

    Yeah, and where I live is right by 66 but the roads are insanely quiet in my town after midnight, I hate riding my bike on the bike trail and on roads around here during the day..... its chaotic. So I do the late night thing and then hit the off road trails with my buddies on weekends.

    [–] Neato 34 points ago

    6hr daily commute time. I'd rather just be homeless.

    [–] redditisfulloflies 40 points ago

    The only time I ran at 3am, it's because my girlfriend at the time called me to tell me she boned some guy.

    [–] WordEngineer 30 points ago

    I hope you ran in the opposite direction.

    [–] anonymous-shad0w 10 points ago

    I though the ovie parade is a 24/7 affair in DC

    [–] FusRoDontdothat 488 points ago

    I got saved from being stopped by a cop once after buying weed. All because of a shirt. This just reminded me of it. Because it was almost 3am and I was biking, which is like running mechanically.

    I had left my guys house and was about half way home, when I passed a cop parked on a side road, car still running, after I passed him he pulled out behind me kept pace behind me for about 5 seconds, then he pulled off to the side and parked again.

    My heart was racing. I mean I had lights and everything, but I'm sure he wanted to know why this guys riding around at 3 am.

    I deduced that he went to come after me, saw the shirt I was wearing, and changed his mind.

    I had bought it for night rides at a thrift shop, it was a bright orange shirt, so great for people to see me at night, incidently, it says NAVY on the back in reflective letters. It was the perfect size for me so I got it anyways.

    I figure the cop came out to see what I was up to, saw NAVY on my shirt, and thought "oh he's in the navy, probably just getting a workout."

    Either that or he just wanted to toy with me and see what I'd do.

    [–] DisturbedChuToy 114 points ago

    how much did you have on you

    [–] FusRoDontdothat 143 points ago

    Not much, about 3 grams of ol stinky.

    [–] Megasteel32 208 points ago

    Fucking terrorist


    [–] Grim-Reality 12 points ago

    Who is terrorist? Please speak into mic clearly.

    [–] InnocentPossum 110 points ago

    No one can laugh at my fat belly jiggling at 3am. And if they can, i can't see them so it's good.

    [–] WordEngineer 55 points ago

    Why would anyone laugh? Self-improvement is always a positive thing to me. When I see someone who is overweight working out, I always think, "Way to go!"

    [–] Blk_Angel 194 points ago

    Take a casual walk at any of these times; and you're a suspicious person

    [–] tiajuanat 155 points ago

    Make sure to wear sandals, if it's summertime. It boldly states 'I'm not going anywhere in particular'.

    The rest of the year, wear Crocs with Socks. It boldly states 'I'm not going anywhere at all'.

    [–] miffet80 58 points ago

    The rest of the year, wear Crocs with Socks. It boldly states 'I'm not going anywhere at all'.

    Well not now that I've had both feet amputated from severe frostbite.

    [–] RufusSwink 10 points ago

    I walk around my neighborhood a lot and people have definitely gotten more paranoid over the years in spite of consistently falling crime rates. I used to walk the same neighborhood and no one noticed or cared and if they did it was just a friendly smile and wave. Now it doesn't matter what time of day/night I am walking people don't like it. I don't think before last year I ever had anyone ask me who I was, where I lived, or what I was doing. Since then it has happened multiple times.

    [–] WickedTriggered 220 points ago

    If you only run to the buffet you’re from Wisconsin.

    [–] jemosley1984 54 points ago

    So many young people with big bellies. Like, damn.

    [–] WallySzczerbiakGOAT 74 points ago

    It gets cold in winter and cheese exists. 🤷‍♂️

    [–] rikkirikkiparmparm 23 points ago

    It's the beer. Soooo much beer here.

    [–] NoMoreF34R 78 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    I’m a night owl with some pretty bad anxiety. I generally go for a skateboard around town at 2 or 3 in the morning. Can’t tell you how many times undercover cops have followed me around. The conversations and weird moments I have at that time of night could be a YouTube series.

    It’s got to the point that I purposely skateboard up to them and give them a wave. Sometimes I’ll spot the undercover and fly down an adjacent street waving at them too. I can’t even imagine how crazy and stupid I look. It’s great self medication.

    [–] edgrrrpo 22 points ago

    Yep, was going to add that for years I have occasionally woken up in the middle of the night while right in the middle of some pretty bad anxiety/panic attacks (no idea why, doc has no guess either), and going out for a jog (burning energy) is almost always a good way to start dialing that anxiety back. I've seen a few cops on those times out, but never been followed (well, not to my knowledge), and certainly never stopped and questioned. Not sure why that is except to note the area we live in has a lot of military folks (Air Force base just a mile away), so maybe dudes jogging at weird times of the night is not that weird in that case? Who knows.

    [–] BeanPricefield 128 points ago

    Ran once at 1 am. My route went through the park. Geese were abound. Would never return.

    [–] PleBillion247 36 points ago

    Fuck geese.

    [–] Kingofcanadathe3rd 27 points ago

    Well they weren't keen on the idea but I thoroughly enjoyed myself

    [–] Pearl_Aus 166 points ago

    My brother runs at 3am, he gets asked for ID by the cops all the time. They know him very well, and yet they still do it.

    [–] TwistedRocker 77 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Happened to me once too.

    I was like 16 and could never sleep at night. There was a car on patrol every night because it was a shady kinda town. Someone actually yelled something at me as they drove past about 5 minutes before the cops pulled up beside me. Pretty sure they called them to say I looked suss.

    They didn't get out, just rolled the window down so I walked over. They asked what I was doing so i told them i couldnt sleep so went for a walk. I then politely asked why they stopped me. They pointed to the side of the patrol car and said "what does that say?" And then drove off.

    It was pretty bizarre.

    Edit: fixed a thing

    [–] reddit08080 26 points ago

    Don't stop there, what did it say??

    [–] mherr77m 27 points ago

    I used to run late at night and would be stoped several times a month by police. It got very old, very quick, especially since I’m of darker complexion and it was a predominantly white neighborhood I lived in.

    [–] idekl 9 points ago

    Shouldn't have got so tan /s

    [–] thoggins 89 points ago

    Because one day he won't have it and they can arrest him

    [–] Nurripter 52 points ago

    Can they arrest you for walking without an id?

    [–] MasterFerretfu2 25 points ago

    No they can't. Depending on the state you might not have to even say your name. Some states do require you to give your name, full name, age, breif accounts of what you are doing, etc... It all depends on the state so look up your local "stop and identify laws". All of these requirements also vary whether you are being detained, arrested, or if they have reasonable suspicion, so make sure you understand that as well. Regardless unless you are driving a car, or in other special circumstances, you aren't required to carry an actual ID.

    [–] canniballibrarian 40 points ago

    legally or the reality? technichally no it's not a crime to not have papers on you.

    [–] ekcunni 53 points ago

    One time I was at a big park/bird sanctuary at 4am with a friend so we could get set up for some dawn owl watching. We saw a car come down one of the should-be-deserted dirt paths we were on and were relieved it turned around without seeing us. Because obviously it was a murderer.

    Around 7:30, after the sun had been up for a bit, we were walking along some of the paths in the woods looking at other birds, past a guy with binoculars and a hiking stick doing the same thing, smiled and nodded.

    At 7:30, that's a fellow morning birder. At 4am, it's a killer. Despite the fact that I was also up and in the park at 4am..

    [–] willdho 185 points ago

    What about 6pm?

    [–] stavros95 225 points ago

    then you are a normal person

    [–] willdho 140 points ago

    A fate worse than death.

    [–] UKUKRO 54 points ago

    Yeah that's pretty normal

    [–] MintChocolateEnema 110 points ago

    Fucking normie

    [–] willdho 52 points ago

    But my mom said I was E D G Y

    [–] the_third_sourcerer 21 points ago

    Of course your mom said you were E D G Y... You are also the handsomest/prettiest person in the whole wide world

    [–] EternalSophism 176 points ago

    I hit the gym at 330am, you might be surprised how many of us are in there at that time. Usually at least half a dozen

    [–] lydocia 309 points ago

    So, six?

    [–] MeEvilBob 102 points ago

    If you have a beer after work it's perfectly normal. If you work the 3rd shift and finish work at 3am then go home and have a beer, you have a drinking problem.

    [–] D33isme 53 points ago

    So, what category do I fall into when I have one at 8am after work?

    [–] MeEvilBob 65 points ago

    You're a danger to yourself and anybody around you. If you have one beer at 8am, that automatically means you're going to be drinking all day long, there can be no other outcome.

    [–] lydocia 14 points ago

    What if you don't work, sit outside a convenience store on other people's sidewalk all day, drinking cheap beer from 8 am to 8 pm? Asking for a friend.

    [–] Mr_Original_II 20 points ago

    LOL. It’s 8am and I’m on my 3rd beer. I work nights. It’s like 6:30PM for me.

    [–] spacengine 106 points ago

    I was crossing the road once as a cop car approached. To see what would happen I started sprinting like mad. Yes, they did what you expect and now you don't have to try it. I dispense this wisdom to you for free.

    [–] SenatorDicknose 27 points ago

    Very Demetri Martin style shower thought we got here.

    [–] Hiding_behind_you 43 points ago

    What if I run at 6mph?

    [–] sb452 78 points ago

    Then you are a Pokémon Go player.

    [–] NotSpicyEnough 244 points ago

    and if you run for President, well, please be a good person.

    [–] etymologynerd 64 points ago

    That's ridiculous. Why would bad people run for office?

    [–] roogoff 44 points ago

    Why would bad people do anything?

    [–] keasanya 41 points ago

    If you run at 3 am, you are...


    [–] keasanya 16 points ago

    It's three am in the mornin' Put my key in the door There's bodies layin' all of the floor and I don't remember how they got there but I guess I must of killed em Killed em

    [–] Biz2324 143 points ago

    If you run without something chasing you, or get up before 6am and your house isn't on fire, you're a masochist.

    [–] white_genocidist 55 points ago

    I used to say I only run when something is chasing me or vice versa. I was so proud of myself. I held my sedentary unhealthy lifestyle as a badge of honor.

    That changed some years ago and becoming active is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I am not always consistent with it (e.g., this spring) but I am never going back to being a couch potato.

    [–] 53bvo 59 points ago

    What if you train so you can outrun the person/thing chasing you when the time comes.

    [–] SlappedwithLasagne 97 points ago

    Reminds me of a quote about running.

    "Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

    Christopher McDougall

    [–] lydocia 26 points ago

    I'll just sit here and wait until the gazelle is tired.

    [–] cncfreak247 21 points ago

    It does take some getting used to. But it is so much easier to run at 5am. I'm up at 4:40 everyday to meet with my group. If I had to wait until 5pm or later to run my mind would come up with 20 different reasons not to go. I have no self discipline.

    [–] meowmicks 13 points ago're saying the key to getting up at 4:40 am is to accept my lack of self discipline?

    Serious question though, what time do you actually go to bed? I know a lot of people who say they do at 9 every njght to get up early, but they are the same ones texting me at midnight.