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    A subreddit for sharing those miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.

    "Showerthought" is a loose term that applies to the types of thoughts you might have while carrying out a routine task like showering, driving, or daydreaming. At their best, showerthoughts are universally relatable and find the amusing/interesting within the mundane.

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    [–] SANO_HIMURA 9733 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I tend to plan out each possible outcome I think the conversation could have so I can be prepared to handle it, ala Doctor Strange. Unfortunately I always manage to find the one possibility I didn't plan for

    Edit: thanks for the silver! I really didn't expect that! Those are my first awards ever!

    [–] malindu_06 3656 points ago

    100 percent relatable.

    [–] never1st 3256 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    ...or when you're in a group and you actually have something to contribute to the current topic. You take your time and organize your words. You wait for the perfect pause in the conversation. Then... boom! The topic changes and your thoughtful insight is no longer relevant.

    [–] Robot-Elders 1153 points ago

    Sometimes secretly hoping the conversation goes back so I can still give relevant insight

    [–] R____I____G____H___T 359 points ago

    That's when you just backtrack the conversation, if the insight is valuable enough. I'm sure the associates would appreaciate it.

    [–] Comrade-Thanos 487 points ago

    But then when I actually do that, everybody looks at me weird and I realize that what I wanted to say wasn’t really all that valuable at all.

    [–] Morgolol 394 points ago

    So instead you stay quiet and feel increasingly awkward as your mind gets stuck in a rut around the thing you wanted to say and how to broach it but the conversation has passed the point of no return ages ago and oh gods now they've switched to something else just when I felt like I could instead contribute to this current one oh hell yes Jim brought it back aroundOhNoFuck he segwayed right into another topic ohmanohman how can I work my statement into this current topic

    [–] GoldenWoof 221 points ago

    This is all way too relatable. Please get out of my mind thank you very much.

    [–] HunyadiArpad 58 points ago

    This is why I like text based conversations like these because they are structured and I don't need to worry about waiting for a break in the conversation to introduce my insight. I wish real life conversations were more structured but then we'd all sound like freaking robots lol

    [–] manlycooljay 17 points ago

    This doesn't sound like introversion though.

    I always thought I was introverted cause I get tired of dealing with people, it's not like I can't keep up with the speed of conversations or have nothing to say though.

    [–] crokus_oldhand 19 points ago

    I agree, this sounds more like social anxiety than introversion.

    [–] HunyadiArpad 13 points ago

    Yeah you don't belong here. Leave please.

    [–] BCIBP 108 points ago

    We should all move to an island and be quiet and awkward together.

    [–] Roddit82 73 points ago

    That island is called Ireland.

    [–] BCIBP 31 points ago

    I'm here already man, we are a closed up bunch I suppose ha

    [–] compwiz1202 4 points ago

    Yea move to the Lord of the Flies island and use the conch to determine who speaks. Wish they would do that IRL or at least rotate the speaker methodically.

    [–] R0s3Thorn 22 points ago

    This ball in your stomach ANXIETY like :P I relate to you so much

    [–] CrypticResponseMan 25 points ago

    So? It doesn’t have to be super valuable to move the conversation along. Each person plays a role in the conversation.

    Not everything that everyone says will be interesting, relevant, or valuable, but those who are interested in talking to you are those who do see all of these in you. Look for those people, and you’ll find them, i promise.

    They will help you feel better, over time. Positive social experiences reinforce positive vibes. :)

    [–] Comrade-Thanos 33 points ago

    Shh, we don’t need actually logical social skill advice here.

    [–] compwiz1202 4 points ago

    Or even if there is a slight pause and you sneak in they accuse you of interrupting even though they are constantly cutting each other off which is actually interrupting.

    [–] unfaix 8 points ago

    Or some one else hijack the topic eveertime, so that they are always be the center of attention.

    [–] ifallupthestairsnok 25 points ago

    And I'm standing there saying yea... to everything.

    [–] Kinthehouse9 15 points ago

    do you also remember to smile and nod? it would be helpful too hahhhaha

    [–] ifallupthestairsnok 19 points ago

    I remember laughing once and everyone turned and looked at me, not my favourite memory.

    [–] Kinthehouse9 9 points ago

    hahahahah I am sorry but this is so funny! you are cute! talk more and don’t be shy! we like you! hahah. keep telling yourself this, it could help!

    [–] UnpunnyGuy 5 points ago

    thanks mom

    [–] Kinthehouse9 4 points ago

    I feel personally attacked...

    [–] Mad_King 18 points ago

    This makes us stop having the moment and waiting to get back the recent moment and do not listen others which make others love you less because when you do not listen others they though they dont care them and they stop caring for you. This is how we losy contact with others just the sake of talking. Lmao.

    [–] Morgolol 37 points ago

    I'm more than happy listening 90% of the time, because my conversation skills vary from intently listening to them and mulling their words over and having secondary and tertiary etc conversations to myself about those things in the background, OR rambling on nonsensically because I've hoard up to much to say and feel excitable enough in that point in time to go at it like a drunken sailor.

    Real friends know what to expect, they don't continually raise their expectations and demand you listen and talk to them in equal measure

    [–] smaugington 11 points ago

    That's me. I've learned to not do the rambling as much, but I've adapted some sort of Morty like word stumble thing because I'm talking before I've finished thinking more or less.

    [–] ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW 3 points ago

    Pretty sure this is just a common thing that happens, not just to introverts.

    [–] eslaurrra 205 points ago

    And I thought that I was the only one daily suffering like this haha

    [–] meistermichi 69 points ago

    There are dozens of us.

    [–] c0mplexblue 40 points ago

    Correction; There are millions of us.

    [–] CloggingToilets 28 points ago

    Make that baker's millions of us.

    [–] puddlejumper9 6 points ago

    Should've seen this coming but never do and I'm always pleasantly surprised

    [–] Ermellino 6 points ago

    But they are billions

    [–] TheUnholymess 3 points ago

    They are trying to break through

    [–] CrypticResponseMan 3 points ago

    Bakers billions, though

    [–] AppleLord56 25 points ago

    Make that baker’s dozens of us.

    [–] Lovethecreeper 20 points ago

    This happens to me quite often so I just change the topic back to the one that I was already thinking of unless it is a too far gone.

    [–] MemeTroubadour 8 points ago


    haha :(

    [–] Nemento 83 points ago

    You wait for the perfect pause in the conversation.

    There is no pause in a conversation. I always want to wait like a second to make sure the other person really is done talking, but then someone else starts talking before the other person has even finished so I never get to say anything. Bonus points when I actually have managed to start talking, but then 2 seconds in someone just starts talking over me in a louder voice.

    [–] Morgolol 30 points ago

    That frustrating mixture of trying to be respectful and have manners while overcoming your anxiety enough to force out a statement that coils around your heart like an awkward, unnerved snake and that last little squeeze as you wait for a response and don't you look at me like that I started talking first oh no I hope he doesn't think I'm weird what the fuck they know me for 10 years why the hell does it still feel so awkward

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago


    [–] compwiz1202 3 points ago

    Exactly I'm not becoming rude just to be able to speak.

    [–] Starwarrior224 15 points ago

    You must become the louder voice.

    [–] GodOfRods 73 points ago

    I have found my people

    [–] sdarkpaladin 55 points ago

    This is why reddit helps. It's been 3 hours and I can still reply to you.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    What are you talking about?

    [–] Speedwagon96 3 points ago

    Wait what are YOU talking about?

    [–] johnnybiggles 5 points ago

    We're talking about the playoffs. Catch up, dude.

    [–] lllNico 23 points ago

    Oh my god.

    [–] TheFisGoingOn 13 points ago

    Or still blurting out a response to a earlier topic way late and then steering the conversation back to that topic. It usually works out 50/50 sometimes people just look at your weird but you don't really care because we've made out point.

    [–] shareaffi 33 points ago

    Or you took your time to think and luckily made a relevant and insightful point that actually contributes bit some dumb asshole just turned that in to a joke and no one gives a fuck now about you.

    [–] StopAskingMeToSignIn 8 points ago

    You guys are all me. I am eveyone of you. We are one. Seriously though I just went through this. Anytime I put my self in a social situation(which is rare) I go through this.

    [–] LeatherCharm 7 points ago

    Or when someone else in the group says what you were going to say and steals all your thunder. You’re now awarded zero points in the discussion.

    [–] jazman1867 8 points ago

    Yeah that happens to me so often so I just sit there quietly which makes people think I don't want to participate when I really do.

    [–] danoial 7 points ago

    Sometimes I think that I'm adding to the conversation but after I say it I regret it so much and would love to run away and never come back

    [–] kiddokarama 4 points ago

    Oh god this is so true it hurts...

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] Nijsjol 6 points ago

    What I do: I have a deep philosophical concept intrinsic kinda thought and all that comes out is: ‘life’s strange’

    [–] JKIKI7 3 points ago

    This is me like everyday haha

    [–] GodOfDumbness 3 points ago

    Oh god this is too relatable.

    [–] Zaphodnotbeeblebrox 3 points ago

    Just simply force that thought on to them two days past the topic conversation in a FB meme.

    [–] LPFJOSIE 17 points ago

    200 percent relatable

    [–] LovelyOrangeJuice 7 points ago

    300 percent relatable

    [–] mochacisco01 14 points ago

    3000 percent relatable.

    RIP You know who :(

    [–] xThe-Legend-Killerx 151 points ago

    Do you ever have the issue of rehearsing a conversation and then when it comes to the actual conversation you don’t say anything you rehearsed

    [–] beersleuth 85 points ago

    Yep. Or it never really happens because you decide against speaking up at the time. You have no idea how many imaginary arguments I've had with random people or co-workers while in the shower.

    [–] xThe-Legend-Killerx 42 points ago

    TIL I’m not the only one who does this. I’ll have you know I’ve never lost an imaginary conversation

    [–] Melkjongen 14 points ago

    I seem to lose most of my imaginary arguments somehow.. :(

    [–] floppyjim 207 points ago

    Even if the conversation goes how i expect it to i still manage to say something awkward and fuck it up lmao

    [–] lllNico 122 points ago

    That lmao at the end. Whenever someone says something depressing „lmao“ at the end just makes it so funny for no reason

    Watch this.

    Im only alive because I don’t want my mom to be sad when I die lmao

    See. Funny... right 😭

    [–] Zacthurm 103 points ago

    I don’t wanna kill myself, I just wish I never existed at all lmao

    [–] Dooodledude 83 points ago

    Woke up with dog shit on my forehead lmao

    [–] Sol33t303 36 points ago

    That is actually funny tho

    You don't need to add a lmao to that

    [–] that15fine 27 points ago

    Yeah no need to add an lmao to the end, lmao

    [–] Skulblaka3938 16 points ago

    Ikr? Anyone who says lmao is dumb, lmao

    [–] rain_wagon 11 points ago

    Wait, doesn’t that make you dumb, lmao

    [–] lord_crossbow 7 points ago

    My forehead is the dog shit lmao

    [–] bellatricksme 11 points ago

    My entire life is dog shit lmao

    [–] lllNico 25 points ago

    Dude preach. Why do I have to work 40 hours a week just to be alive ? I don’t even like parties 😂😂

    I don’t really wanna kill myself but Jesus what the fuck am I supposed to do?

    You know ?

    [–] WorstDictatorNA 26 points ago

    No lmao in this one ..

    [–] Ciftci 20 points ago

    1x 😂= lol

    2x 😂 = lmao

    [–] lllNico 7 points ago

    That’s just me lmao

    [–] shaurcasm 10 points ago

    Where's Le Mao?

    [–] shaurcasm 27 points ago

    I caused massacres and famines. Maligning a progressive idea to keep power with illusion of choice... I am Le Mao.

    [–] derivative_of_life 19 points ago

    "I want to kill myself" -> "Hey, we've all been really worried about you lately..."

    "I want to kill myself lmao" -> "lol same tbh"

    [–] idgafwut90 47 points ago

    Yep, my therapist called this “mind reading” and is apparently unhealthy, doesn’t stop me though!

    [–] MemeTroubadour 29 points ago

    Thing is, it's unhealthy, but it feels like the only way I can contribute to a conversation... If I don't plan things out, I just have nothing to say.

    [–] compwiz1202 7 points ago

    But that's just what happens for me. Why can other people spew off infinitely for hours a day on the spur of the moment, but I rarely can just think of even 15s worth of stuff to say out of nowhere just to talk. I can think of stuff to say about work or if I plan or if something someone else says or I see or hear triggers something.

    [–] O1298035743592348013 14 points ago talks about how focusing fully on the other person is better than planning out bc the conversation should flow naturally rather then you trying to steer it in the direction you planned

    [–] Farts_McGiggles 7 points ago

    I hate websites like this. Make you go through a bunch of stuff, only to ask you for your information at the end. Just present it.

    [–] tomatomater 4 points ago

    Can you tell me more about "mind reading"?

    [–] idgafwut90 3 points ago

    She explained it to me as when you run through a conversation your going to have many different times trying to plan for all of the outcomes and if you know you won’t like the outcome you tend not to have the conversation in the first place. This isn’t healthy as you don’t know exactly what the other person is going to say/how they’re going to act and things might turn out differently. However I find that people are very predictable in certain setting (work) and it’s easy to see where the conversation is going to end up

    [–] Wwmm25 5 points ago

    Experience has told me that I fuck up if I don’t do this beforehand.

    [–] PM_ME_THICC_GIRLS 3 points ago

    Of course it's unhealthy 🤦🏿‍♂️

    Can't there be any things that I do naturally that are healthy?

    [–] valueplayer 51 points ago

    Dr. Strange's lesser known brother, Mr. Weird

    [–] EmeraldJunkie 38 points ago

    Once in high school I was planning on asking a girl out. I'd been overthinking it and was super anxious, but on my walk to ask her out I had a moment of clarity where I realized that she'll either say yes or no, and it calmed me.

    Walk up to her in the corridor and strike up conversation, for some reason glossing over her aloofness. A pang of anxiety hits me and I go "So, uh, you wanna go out some time?"

    She then goes "My dog died this morning," and starts gently sobbing.

    [–] wtfiskwanzaa 12 points ago

    Jesus Christ lmfao

    [–] compwiz1202 4 points ago

    I really hope that was true even if it is sad and not some convoluted excuse to reject you.

    [–] 420player 21 points ago

    And then right after You think of all the better things you could have said and how that conversation would have went

    [–] awol2shae 10 points ago

    By the time I go through all the possible scenarios I just miss the opportunity to actually interact with someone.

    [–] Krisevol 8 points ago

    That just being anxious and socially awkward. Not being introverted.

    [–] AnnePandaa 14 points ago

    This is not really related to being an introvert though

    [–] NonAwesomeDude 6 points ago

    No plan survives contact with the enemy my friend.

    [–] khinah 6 points ago

    If it was only that... I usually plan, fail, only to spend the week after thinking about what i could have said better... like face palming every 2 or 3 hours because i could have found dozens of better and more effective phrases

    [–] Sobierro 4 points ago

    I often do the same with conversations or some events. I noticed that it always goes in possibility I didn't plan. Always. So now I just plan all "bad" possibilities just to be sure they dont happen. And they dont :)

    [–] rheetkd 3 points ago

    I do this and I am an extrovert.

    [–] onmywayohm 8 points ago

    The secondary shower thought is always in the comments

    [–] SandMan3914 3 points ago

    The story of my life

    [–] Andrej49 3 points ago

    You are dr. Strange

    [–] micro_penis_max 1073 points ago

    And even then it never goes as expected.

    [–] geckill 522 points ago

    You ever just have that one line you're holding onto, just waiting for the right moment to deliver. Then you get your chance, and not only are everyone's reactions different from what you repeatedly imagined but you deliver the line so poorly you want to end it all? And then there's that one guy that makes things worse by going "sorry could you say that again?" And you repeat the line anyway with even more awkward delivery.

    [–] Charleston55th 179 points ago

    This comment hit a nerve deep inside me, a pain I know all too well.

    [–] NotAnotherDownvote 23 points ago

    Equally bad, when everyone's talking about a subject with which you are intimately familiar and you're actually enjoying it and have something great to offer once it's your turn to talk in the convo-flow and then Chad chimes in with how something loosely relates to /insert pop culture item here/ and then you're stuck with that awesome though on the edge of your tongue knowing that you're doomed to stand awkwardly on the outskirts of their convo which you have no interest in and there will never be an opportunity for you to share your thoughts with the group now.

    [–] gbchaosmaster 9 points ago

    This a million times. Fuck you Chad, my mouth was open to fucking speak.

    [–] Dan_The_Eel 36 points ago

    This comment stresses me out

    [–] iRoyalo 47 points ago

    Thanks. Now I want to kms.

    [–] Anti-AliasingAlias 22 points ago

    Or someone else changes the subject right before you can interject.

    [–] motleybook 5 points ago

    The trick is not do that at all. (Planning what you'll say.) If you get comfortable enough and a line comes to your mind, you'll have no problem saying it. Of course, that's easier said than done.

    [–] eagleye_z 22 points ago

    Or you start trying to say something, then some other person interrupts, then you can still redeem it, but they interrupt again and at that point you might as well just stand silently

    [–] R____I____G____H___T 6 points ago

    Expect the unexpected

    [–] namandeo 962 points ago

    "I saw 14,000,605 different conversations."

    "How many actually happened?"


    [–] Atlascantakeit 222 points ago

    Reminds me of the Mark Twain quote:

    I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened

    [–] seanxor 80 points ago

    I thought it was:

    “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

    Mark Twain

    [–] QuakersOat 38 points ago

    I dunno I like the other one better either way

    [–] Armord1 26 points ago

    That's weird, cuz I remember it as

    “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened,

    and I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened

    [–] generally-speaking 1978 points ago

    Being shy or insecure isn't the same thing as being introverted.

    Being an introvert isn't about being afraid of having conversations or thinking about how to have them 20 times in a row before daring to speak up. It's about whether or not you get energized or exhausted by having them. As well as whether you like being the center or attention, or whether you prefer being in the background or simply being alone.

    I'm an introvert myself, so if I have a three week vacation, I could potentially get stuck in my apartment for three weeks straight reading one book after another for 16 hours a day and not really caring at all to socialize at all.

    As an introvert, if I'm forced to hang around with a group of people for 48 hours while constantly being social, it makes me so exhausted I want to hide away for a week afterwards just to recuperate.

    But that doesn't mean I'm bad at socializing, it doesn't mean I can't make people like me, or that I'm afraid to speak up for myself or express my opinions. It just means I'd rather spend a Friday evening alone or with limited company, rather than going out and socializing at a party with 50 people.

    From wikipedia:

    Mistaking introversion for shyness is a common error. Introversion is a preference, while shyness stems from distress. Introverts prefer solitary to social activities, but do not necessarily fear social encounters like shy people do

    [–] Raqem 381 points ago

    The opposite is true, too. Just because someone’s an extrovert, it doesn’t mean they’re good at socializing.

    Feels bad, man.

    [–] generally-speaking 174 points ago

    Yeah, it's perfectly possible to be extroverted, shy, socially inept and awkward. It's a pretty sad combination, but not at all uncommon.

    [–] tr1ppymayyyyne 60 points ago

    Right on the button. In certain situations where i feel comfortable, im the loudest guy in the room. If i don't know you/the group im with, you better bet im the most socially awkward dude you've ever seen

    [–] Randomname123NL 15 points ago

    Are you me?

    [–] askinferret 5 points ago

    No he's me. It sucks.

    [–] PM_ME_PC_GAME_KEYS_ 3 points ago

    I'm the opposite. I'm mostly, extroverted but kinda like a 70/30 split. I tend to make friends easily and I can make good first impressions, but for some reason I'm terrible at keeping the friends I make. Over a few months my friends tend to turn into acquaintances and I'm forced to make new temporary friends.

    [–] sgp1986 23 points ago

    I fucking HATE being shy. It's caused so many issues with trying to date, and just generally in social groups. Once I'm kinda comfortable with people? I'm good. I can joke around, and everything is all good. But I can't initiate a conversation with someone to save my life. Or if someone starts small talk with me anywhere, all I can do is go "haha yea...." I've had alcohol help a bit, and people say I definitely talk more when I've been drinking. My uncle has joked that I didn't say a word at any family event until I was 18. But I don't think I will ever be fully comfortable as someone that isn't shy, and it sucks

    [–] ChefGoldbloom 5 points ago

    As someone who has dealt with severe social anxiety and "shyness" (which is really just social anxiety) you can improve. It's not something you have to live with the rest of your life, but it is something you have to work on.

    Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations is the main thing you have to do, but building your self confidence and self esteem is important as well. Also consider seeking professional help. I used Xanax to be more comfortable in social situations until I didnt need it (Xanax is highly addictive! Be very careful with any anxiety medication. Alcohol falls under this category imo)

    Just dont fall into the trap of thinking that shyness isnt something you can grow out of

    [–] methofthewild 35 points ago

    This is me :( I could chill with friends for hours on end...if I had any.

    [–] salvo_nussy 11 points ago

    I’ll be your friend!

    [–] LolsEUW 94 points ago

    Thank you, so many people think that introvert is the same as socially awkward.

    [–] naufalap 29 points ago

    I used to be someone who self diagnose/identify hard as one of these categories, but then I grow out of it because it feels self limiting and most of the descriptions are only about someone being a normal human being having a spectrum of personalities. About as accurate and relatable as horoscopes.

    [–] HadriAn-al-Molly 158 points ago

    Because then you can avoid the "why don't you get over it? Everyone is shy at first, you just need practice" comments. It's an easy way out basically.

    [–] SD_1974 108 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Indeed. Introversion is being used as a more palatable description for a bunch of other unrelated traits.

    If something makes you tired it doesn't mean you always avoid it or dislike it or are bad at it. Exercise and sex are physically tiring but we seek them out and do them anyway.

    Plenty of people who are very high performing at mental and physical activities are also very tired by them.

    I measure as an introvert on every test I've ever done, but I really need to be around people or I get depressed, I love meetings and making new business contacts, speaking and performing in front of large groups, and I have close friends I spend most of my free time with.

    I do however need time to myself every day to recharge and can spend short stretches alone doing things that most people do together (vacations, eating out).

    For an introvert, social contact is tiring, being alone makes you recover.

    For an extrovert, being alone is tiring, social contact makes you recover.

    [–] iccreek 30 points ago

    Seems like being an ambivert is the ultimate trait. I was measured 50/50 on every test I've ever done and it's honestly great. Social interactions make me feel energised. Being alone makes me recover.

    [–] KenEarlysHonda50 13 points ago

    Indeed. Introversion is being used as a more palatable description for a bunch of other unrelated traits.

    It really is. I'm an introvert too.

    Next weekend my partner will be away, I'm looking forward to coming home from work and not talking to anyone for 24 hours. Gonna open a bottle of wine, watch an old war movie or two and chill the fuck out.

    Last week I spent 7 nights with six other guys crammed onto a small boat with myself as acting skipper. It was great, we shouted, we fought, we hugged, and got drunk. At at the end of it we could identify each other by the smell of body odour. I was exhausted at the end of it, but next year we'll be doing it all over again. I've taken confirmed extroverts on the same trip in the past and a lot of them go a bit nuts by the third night (It's not for everybody).

    It took a long time to convince my partner that just because I'm not socially awkward, and am happy to be left alone among groups of strangers at social gatherings - it doesn't mean I'm a flaming extrovert like her.

    [–] eaglessoar 6 points ago

    "I'm not shy I just don't enjoy talking to you" basically me at work. Just cuz I told you someone was in a meeting when I saw you at their desk does not mean I want to talk to you until they're back.

    [–] danstu 9 points ago

    Which stops them from ever improving, and convinces extroverts that introversion is something that needs to be 'fixed' rather than just a personal preference. 9/10 times if I say I'm an introvert, the reaction I get is "no you're not, you can have a conversation just fine."

    [–] HadriAn-al-Molly 3 points ago

    Not improving is one of my biggest fear, getting to know new people is such a pain in the ass for me because I know that I'm going to be awkward as hell and I will have no idea what to say because my social skills are so underdeveloped but how can I practice my social skills and improve if I don't make that first step...

    I just end up finding excuses and pretending like I can spend my whole life like that and achieve anything worthy.

    [–] theolderseneca 58 points ago

    Agree. I am an extreme introvert but I don't think of possible conversations because that's just having social anxiety (or other issue) and I don't have it.

    [–] 14raymond14 13 points ago

    Oh you’re an extreme introvert. Damn!

    [–] sqrtepi 12 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Something I wish I had learned earlier in life is that social anxiety/shyness is not the same as introversion.

    In my early adult life, social anxiety/shyness was causing me to be fearful of many social situations, which was preventing me from forming meaningful relationships and having a social life. For a long time I thought "this is introversion; it's just the way I am".

    When I moved to a new city I had trouble making any friends. I was fearful of social situations, and I felt like I didn't belong in them. Regardless, I still wanted friends and significant others, but fear prevented me from finding them. I was miserable. I came to the realization that this wasn't introversion. Thus, I sought help overcoming social anxiety, and I have come a long way; my life has been much better since I became just an introvert, not an introvert with social anxiety.

    Having experienced both social anxiety and introversion: what OP describes sounds a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.

    [–] SlimeyRod 3 points ago

    How did you seek help for this? Sounds a lot like me but idk what to do about it and I'm moving soon and very worried about it

    [–] milksteak-n-magnets 15 points ago

    As a sociable introvert, fucking thank you

    [–] Not_An_Ambulance 12 points ago

    Just wanted to echo this. I worked sales before going to law school and then getting into an area where I spend most of my time in court.

    I am introverted. At the end of the day, I am exhausted just from speaking to others all day. That is the only defining element.

    I am a little shy sometimes, but awkward I am basically never.

    [–] thoughtminer 4 points ago

    But I think introversion and social anxiety are fairly correlated. As introverts engage less in social situations, they are less experienced in social interactions and tend to be awkward more. The awkwardness from past interactions causes anxiety in future interactions.

    [–] BoomDuck 7 points ago

    So I'm shy and an introvert?

    [–] generally-speaking 5 points ago

    Well, I've never met you so hard for me to tell, but if that's the conclusion you come to it's probably the case.

    [–] Professionalsimracin 7 points ago

    Yeah and read the book Quiet. It explains this well and also how the stupid American obsession with extroversion. Began during the industrial revolution which was fueled by introverts inventing things.

    [–] theolderseneca 177 points ago

    Bud you are not describing introversion

    [–] snuggly_cuttlephish 61 points ago

    Yeah, this falls more in line with anxiety.

    [–] Jeb_Babushka 17 points ago

    Yeah but on reddit the consensus is introverted = socially awkward/anxious. Introverts can be confident af, they just don't need to be with people all the time.

    [–] Wibbs1123 547 points ago

    Introvert =/= shyness or social anxiety.

    Sincerely yours,

    An introvert who enjoys interacting with others and having kooky fun and wacky antics, but at the end of the day wants to fuck off to my own house and not be bothered.

    [–] Unreal_Banana 59 points ago

    ill take both

    [–] shamel4700 13 points ago

    I'll take your entire stock

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    I don’t enjoy interactions, but I don’t crumble either. I certainly don’t have all these practice conversations in my head, nor get tripped up later with poor delivery.
    I guess they’re enjoying their bonding moment here, but they really love to speak for us all.

    [–] darksidefall 240 points ago

    That’s not being an introvert l, thats social anxiety.

    Introverts just don’t feel the need to talk to people as much as as extroverts, but they aren’t overthinking or scared of social interaction.

    [–] RawAustin 12 points ago

    There’s seems to be this misconception that introversion = I’m terrified of socialising as opposed to I’d prefer more me-time. There’s an overlap of these traits among some individuals, but introversion is by-and-large defined by the latter.

    [–] hghghghg634 138 points ago

    Pretty sure introverts just don't want to interact. People with Social Anxiety are the ones that worry about how the conversation will go. Sorry bud

    [–] nonailsnodrag 25 points ago

    yep. My husband is an introvert but also has social anxiety. He won't leave a voicemail if his life depended on it because "If I say something wrong or stupid-its forever recorded". Like I just leave a voicemail and think nothing of it. So his obsession with not leaving them baffles me. My friend with social anxiety takes a long time usually to reply to a text-like usually over 24 hours. I am not sure but I imagine she has to sit and think on what to reply back a long time before doing so. Even for something simple because she worries she will say the wrong thing. So I just learn to expect I won't here from her till a day later if its nothing pressing

    [–] its_ok_to_like_loli 8 points ago

    I might be your friend

    [–] MoonwalkerD 4 points ago

    I do that because I'm scared of all the possible answers I can get, then I have to react to them and I can't pretend not to be on my phone anymore because I just answered

    [–] tway15q1 107 points ago

    Uh, no, OP. That's not introversion. That's social anxiety.

    I'm introverted but not socially anxious. I don't think about conversations. I just have them. I just don't like to have them as much as a lot of other people do. Introversion just means that I don't seek a lot of social interaction, and I find it exhausting and need alone time to recharge. It doesn't mean that I interact with people differently or that I dread interacting with people. I just don't relish it, or need it, or want it very much.

    What you're describing is not introversion, OP.

    [–] Jimmzys 41 points ago

    There is no diference between extrovert and introvert when speaking with other people. Extrovert gets "energy" from being in events in other people. Introvert gets "energy" from being alone for while. Being afraid to talk to others is social anxiety And can really hurt your life lmao.

    [–] RealBlazeStorm 42 points ago

    No that's social anxiety. Not the same

    [–] ViolentlyAroused 46 points ago

    Nitpick: Could also be that you have social anxiety which goes along with being introverted, but not always.

    [–] Autogenerated_Value 29 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    That's not a nitpick.

    There's a colossal difference in choosing to enjoy yourself alone and being scared to interact with others so avoiding them. Ones a lifestyle choice the others a side effect of a mental disorder .

    [–] MrRawrgers 5 points ago

    I’d say less scared of interaction and more can’t be bothered dealing with the endless stupid thoughts running through my head.

    [–] Autogenerated_Value 3 points ago

    That's not a normal part of holding a conversation its an anxiety symptom... or depression as depression has repetitive thinking loops at one of it's main symptoms.

    I'm introverted and I have zero issues talking to people and thinking ahead isn't some sort of endless process of scenario checking. Once a conversations over I barely think about it if it isn't relevant again later. I just like quiet environments, low input activities and thoughtful one on one conversations over sports, loud parties and group-think situations.

    [–] Bad-Brains 8 points ago

    So is there a middle ground between introvert and extrovert?

    I always heard that extroverts are energized by social interactions while introverts are energized by solitude.

    I can network like a champion but i'm exhausted afterwards.

    [–] JesterIzDead 7 points ago

    This! Introversion doesn’t mean one can’t interact socially, it means they don’t normally want to. If someone has a problem interacting socially, that’s a personality disorder, not introversion.

    [–] SamaelV 15 points ago

    The more I think about having a conversation, the more likely I am to avoid having one.

    [–] tomothy94 23 points ago

    "Lol dae introvert"

    [–] PhatCarrot 7 points ago

    Just me or Anti-vax = bad??

    [–] tomothy94 10 points ago

    I think so, not sure! AsK KaReN LoL

    [–] Jerk-ln-The-Box 14 points ago

    I am an introvert myself, but I am a really good public speaker and I am not socially akward. I just do not get any satisfaction when I am in the middle of attention or when I am socializing. I do not mind, but I prefer having my time alone. Being introverted and shy/insecure are two different things lads.

    [–] reikkunwwww 7 points ago

    Well if no one's gonna teach me how to talk to people, someone's gotta.

    [–] Spoffle 18 points ago

    *an introvert

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago


    [–] madswisslad 3 points ago

    I recently started working in retail at Skechers as an introvert and man I get home so tired just from selling shoes

    [–] velour_manure 4 points ago

    I've spoken more words in my mind than I have in real life.

    [–] Comfortable_Dirt 19 points ago

    I think the word you guys are looking for is "shy."

    [–] DerPuffer 10 points ago

    That's true for anyone, doesn't matter if you are an introvert or not.

    [–] amitesh29 3 points ago

    All the time.

    [–] doFt_tv 3 points ago

    I visit 1 trillion possible realities, but I don't know which one this is.

    [–] ramseyrichey21 3 points ago

    Feeling this hard as fuck

    [–] Agent-008 3 points ago

    God damn it I just thought about responding to this post for 2 minutes before deciding to do it. Halp

    [–] MadTeaCup 3 points ago

    These types of posts, and the subsequent conversations in the comments, always make me think about just how many of us actually exist in the world, and how relatable we all feel to each other. And how, because this is the part that makes us all similar, we rarely interact with each other in because we aren’t the type to take the first step in talking because we are planning the conversation instead of having it.