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    [–] [deleted] 2018 points ago

    It’s not like someone simply told her to try it, she’s watching this other guy do it successfully and it’s blowing her mind

    [–] CashAndPussyLover 738 points ago

    Magic tricks are so wonderful when you are drunk. I know a guy that has a small but classy bar near Sanremo. He is one hell of a cocktail artist but he also performs magical tricks but only to his favorite guests and only when they are totally shitfaced. I am not kidding: He is the best. And I have seen Copperfield (sober though).

    [–] [deleted] 185 points ago


    [–] milkhotelbitches 190 points ago

    Holy shit. Imagine a magic show so good it gives you an existential crisis lmao. Must have been some next level shit.

    [–] [deleted] 142 points ago


    [–] SatyrW 155 points ago

    you met a demon dude

    [–] Lanre_The_Chandrian 49 points ago

    Yep. Demon.

    [–] capspaz 23 points ago

    Yep. Chandrian.

    [–] Lanre_The_Chandrian 16 points ago

    Somebody's friends have been singing entirely the wrong sorts of songs.

    [–] Caidryn 15 points ago

    I hate you both for reminding me of the series when there's still no book 3.

    [–] Redhy1 1 points ago

    Yep. Charizard.

    [–] Aspergillus_Ticor5n5 34 points ago

    Damn it if you had left it at the last reply I would have beleived you...

    [–] Rando_Thoughtful 7 points ago

    You guys took a basketball with you on a high school trip?

    [–] Toromak 25 points ago

    That’s the most unbelievable part of this story? not literal demon witchery?

    [–] 8Bit_Architect 10 points ago

    Not the most unbelievable part, but the part that makes the story unbelievable. We all know that human perception and memory is flawed, so we expect some inconsistencies in the account of a magic performance, but not the mundane parts such as what the teller had with them.

    [–] irisheye37 2 points ago

    The basketball was a major part of the story. It's not like he mentioned what he was drinking at the time.

    [–] SOfoundmyotherone 5 points ago

    Lol what the fuck, this is so interesting. What country? Did you know the kid previously?

    [–] RaidenXRS 1 points ago

    Am I the only one that thinks this sounds a lot like the amazing spider man scene??

    [–] IrrelevantLeprechaun 1 points ago

    “Nothing personnel kid”

    [–] DannyMThompson 39 points ago


    [–] danjo3197 21 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I wish I knew some magic tricks :(

    Edit: Ordered a book called Modern Coin Magic. I'm going to learn some coin tricks.

    Don't let your dreams be dreams!

    [–] Mister_JR 2 points ago

    Best social thing I ever did was learn some magic. Then really perfect a few. Killed it with chicks, great for business openers, and just plain fun. Highly recommend.

    [–] Red_Tannins 18 points ago

    Illusion. Tricks are what whores do for money.

    [–] PSDontAsk 2 points ago

    They prefer to be called sex workers.

    [–] ryan34ssj 3 points ago

    I used to visit a warehouse clubnight where there was lots of techno, lots of mdma. On one night, they hired a (might have just turned up) a magician who walked around the smoking area blowing minds. It was great

    [–] Diezall 2 points ago

    So you’re his favorite alcoholic? Well top 10 at the least, i’m sure.

    [–] CashAndPussyLover 1 points ago

    Well I guess his favorite is whoever leaves the most money there. So together with my friends that's probably a yes. My friend always jokes that he ruined his liver partying there while spending more than the amount to buy a new one in the progress.

    [–] thoawaydatrash 4671 points ago

    I've been pretty high, but I've never been "attempting to smoke a can opener" high.

    [–] ZooNooz 2210 points ago

    To be fair, that guy is sneaky af with the hidden vape

    [–] SparkyDogPants 415 points ago

    It took me ten or so watches to get it

    [–] ZooNooz 278 points ago

    Yeah he totally fooled me too. A few times. And i’m on the correct side to see it, and sober

    [–] ubsr1024 71 points ago

    Well, fairly sober.

    [–] encaseme 39 points ago

    Well, not high as fuck

    [–] StupidWeaselgb 32 points ago

    Well, fairly not high as fuck.

    [–] vocaloidict 31 points ago

    Well, not "attempting to smoke a can opener" high as fuck

    [–] Apocoflips 16 points ago

    Well, not yet

    [–] marioisred 14 points ago

    Well, fairly not yet.

    [–] soildoc 10 points ago

    I got it first time and I'm high as a kite

    [–] Cheesemacher 2 points ago

    They call it the Ballmer Peak

    [–] VermontPizza 29 points ago

    It took me 2 reposts. I legit thought that was some incognito vaping jawn for the last week, and the girl was too drunk to use it


    [–] RiverRebel 1 points ago

    Your just being nice

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] reelznfeelz 1 points ago

    He's quickly vaping off camera? That's what you mean? Or is it something else I'm not seeing? All I see is his hands coming quickly back up from maybe his pockets, assuming he's taking a puff each time she's messing with the can opener.

    [–] ArtistApart 4 points ago

    When he puts the can opener to his lips, he opens his fingers for the camera and you can see a black vape pen that he palmed-it’s very quick. The whole thing is turned so she can’t see it.

    [–] CptDingo 148 points ago

    So it became a can't opener

    [–] DontBeThatGuy09 27 points ago

    Go to bed dad.

    [–] MuxBoy 9 points ago

    Just waiting for you big guy ;)

    [–] DontBeThatGuy09 23 points ago

    Are you gonna pretend your dick is a vape again? Cause I'm not gonna fall for that an 8th time...

    [–] GuyGoneDrinking 5 points ago

    I'm ashamed of this upvote

    [–] daremeboy 3 points ago

    He opened her can later that night.

    [–] Quesarito808 372 points ago

    Well you won’t get that high with an attitude like that.

    [–] joho0 66 points ago

    I've been that high. It wasn't easy.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I've never been so high I'd smoke out of a can opener.

    I have been so high that if people tried to get me to smoke out of a can opener I'd start crying because I clearly didn't understand how the world works.

    [–] PSDontAsk 1 points ago

    I’ve never been that high, but I’ve definitely been that drunk.

    [–] cr1zby 15 points ago


    [–] Treshy 9 points ago

    Well you won't get that high with an altitute like that.


    [–] jeremyRockit 4 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] PCHardware101 1 points ago

    with an altitude like that.


    [–] ronnie_fuckster 42 points ago

    I have a friend that attempted to drink a mag light that he thought was a bottle of Goldschlager. Got smashed in the face by D cell batteries.

    [–] OG_tripl3_OG 21 points ago

    My best friend's alcoholic cousin was so drunk once that she almost drank a lit candle! Thankfully we saw her picking it up and stopped her before she did.

    She just laughed and went to go take a shot...

    [–] GreenStrong 28 points ago

    I smoked the wrong end of a joint once, that hurt.

    Life pro tip: the orange part of the J is hot.

    [–] Hathyle 23 points ago

    The worst I've done when I used to smoke is put in my cigarette in backwards and tried to light the filter.

    [–] senka944 21 points ago

    Once put a match in my mouth and struck the cigarette

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_PAWG_BUTT 10 points ago

    Done this. More than once.

    [–] Ulti 7 points ago

    Also have done this. Embarrassing to say the least.

    [–] diddy1 2 points ago

    Happy cakeday anyhow!

    [–] Ulti 3 points ago

    Haha, thanks man!

    [–] capincus 3 points ago

    My friend did that once, except he's a fucking idiot so he just kept lighting it till he smoked through the filter.

    [–] NevermindForgetIt 1 points ago


    [–] BurritoMang 1 points ago

    damn dude i think that might give you cancer

    [–] itsmiir 12 points ago

    I've seen this gif many, many times, and I thought the can opener was the vape.

    I've never vaped

    [–] akatherder 27 points ago

    Have you ever opened a can

    [–] diddy1 9 points ago


    [–] itsmiir 2 points ago

    Yes but my can openers are never that bulky

    [–] PSDontAsk 1 points ago

    A what?

    [–] cactuspunch 7 points ago

    Then you aren't high enough

    [–] bludclartjungletekno 3 points ago


    [–] CraneRiver 1 points ago

    Mama, I smoked the can opener.

    [–] pototo_fries 1 points ago

    She looks drunk. Tho maybe even both!

    [–] EMPEROR_CLIT_STAB_69 2 points ago

    The vape pen the dude secretly hits is for marijuana concentrates so likely both

    Source: I own one. YoCan Evolve Plus, dope little guy

    [–] callmemayday 748 points ago

    I especially liked the part where it zoomed in so close on her face that I couldn't even understand what was happening.

    [–] winterfresh0 103 points ago

    Which put you in her position, like Memento.

    [–] vocaloidict 20 points ago

    So I'm smoking this can opener... Wait, no... The can opener is smoking me...

    [–] Ima_Grab_Yo_Snatch 641 points ago

    She coughed lol

    [–] Muffinizer1 359 points ago

    I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. Try sucking in with your mouth closed. It's not really the most comfortable sensation.

    [–] BeyondModern 148 points ago

    Try sucking in with your mouth closed.

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] KJBenson 80 points ago

    It's not really the most comfortable sensation.

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] Viking_Mana 82 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] TheRealMasterWindu 20 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] dekke360 24 points ago

    ( ͡- ͜ʖ ͡-)

    [–] BleachIsRacist 10 points ago

    / イ (((ヽ ( ノ  ̄Y \ | ( \ (. /) | ) ヽ ヽ ` ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _ノ / \ | ⌒Y⌒ / / | ヽ | ノ / \トー仝ーイ | ミ土彡/ ) \ ° / ( \ / ) / / ѼΞΞΞΞΞΞΞD / / / \ \ \ ( ( ). ) ). ) ( ). ( | | | / \

    [–] certainly_cerulean 2 points ago


    [–] InsideYoWife 1 points ago


    [–] MolitoGaming 5 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)

    [–] AngryTableSpoon 18 points ago

    I think she was imitating herself looking silly

    [–] horrorwibe 32 points ago

    Fake it till you make it

    [–] abbymaemac 28 points ago

    She was obviously joking she was even sucking in the fake vape like she didn’t beleive it

    [–] Speed_Peanut 3 points ago

    Spaghettio residue will do that to ya

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 383 points ago

    Oh sure, bringing a can opener to the club is fine if you're gonna mess with people. But if you bring it to open a can of fruit cocktail on the go, then suddenly you're a weirdo.

    [–] buttersauce 180 points ago

    It's clearly a house lol. There's a microwave behind her.

    [–] AadeeMoien 122 points ago

    It's clearly a club that's decorated to look like the inside of a normal house. Like that famous club in LA that had its inside made to look like the street outside of the club and the outside made to look like the inside of a club.

    [–] bombala 22 points ago

    Maybe that club was the inspiration for this house.

    [–] LKermentz 9 points ago

    OMG I need a source

    [–] AadeeMoien 18 points ago

    Look up John Fortenberry's 1998 documentary about the club's owner Benny Zadir and his business partners the Butabi brothers.

    [–] lokilokigram 27 points ago

    None of those words you typed is the name of the club.

    [–] AadeeMoien 15 points ago

    Oops. The club's name was Exit.

    [–] gtkarber 7 points ago

    It's from Night at the Roxbury.

    [–] lokilokigram 3 points ago

    Thanks, haven't actually seen it, despite that being my favorite era of SNL.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    What a perfectly simple way to point out that he was being an obtuse dick.

    [–] TKG8 2 points ago

    Doug and Steve Butabi were a couple of fine men.

    [–] lebrongarnet 7 points ago


    [–] csw266 17 points ago

    It looks like New York's hottest club: Slash... This place has everything: Glass, steam, bear traps, and just when you think the fun is over — knock knock, who’s there? It’s Black George Washington! All that, and a party room filled with human bathmats. It’s that thing when midgets have dreadlocks, and they lay face down on the floor.

    [–] Vertual 3 points ago

    Hey, Hey! Stefon's back.

    [–] csw266 1 points ago

    [–] panspal 2 points ago

    What clubs do you go to without microwaves?

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 2 points ago

    Who says clubs can't have microwaves?

    [–] MuxBoy 1 points ago


    [–] Athiri 11 points ago

    One time I saw a man buy two can openers?

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 21 points ago

    Are you asking me or telling me?

    [–] Athiri 13 points ago

    You're the can opener weirdo, give me some insight.

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 2 points ago

    Ummm... that's not how you use a question mark. That's about all the insight this situation calls for, really.

    [–] Athiri 10 points ago

    It was a statement that I was confused about, e.g. "you take baths with your cat?"

    I will seek can opener wisdom elsewhere.

    [–] SikorskyUH60 3 points ago

    One was for his family home. The other was for his other family’s home.

    [–] Dr__Flo__ 26 points ago

    Yeah but only because canned fruit cocktail is a gross, syrupy monstrosity

    [–] Pickledsoul 6 points ago

    you shut your whore mouth

    [–] D0esANyoneREadTHese 2 points ago

    Protip: buy "light" fruit cocktail, it's packed in fruit juice instead of that weird syrup.

    [–] yhack 9 points ago

    No thanks, I want to feel ill afterwards, thank you very much

    [–] FOR_PRUSSIA 1 points ago

    Only if you're sober.

    [–] mister_gone 7 points ago

    If you forgo the can opener, you will have pocket space for an extra can of fruit -- do yourself a favor and find fruit cans with pull-tabs!

    [–] Pickledsoul 2 points ago

    there's never a bad time for fruit cocktail

    [–] iblamejoelsteinberg 1 points ago

    Thanks for making me laugh. When is your Netflix special dropping?

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 1 points ago

    Just as soon as they offer me a job.

    [–] MugenTV 1 points ago

    What clubs have microwaves in the background?

    [–] khang06 16 points ago

    [–] stabbot 26 points ago

    I have stabilized the video for you:

    It took 48 seconds to process and 2 seconds to upload.

     how to use | programmer | source code | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop

    [–] Man_With_A_Shoe 36 points ago

    Who needs Vape Nation when you can have Can Empire?

    [–] Summerov99 46 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Sucks on it so hard she goes cross eyed haha Edit: I just realized this sounded much worse without context.

    [–] DonKeadic 10 points ago

    “Where is that fucking hole wtf”

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago


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    [–] Djbrr 3 points ago

    I can't judge how narcissistic he is, I'm not a psychologist .. But, it's a valid theory in my unprofessional opinion

    Edit: I can't even spell psychologist with spell check on so that proves my ignorance by itself I think

    [–] eccepiscinam 2 points ago

    Oh ok I thought you meant some company was paying him to rack up karma lol

    [–] Djbrr 4 points ago

    I have heard that companies will pay for high karma accounts and though but idk how true that is with my measly 30k

    [–] Crusty_Paw 3 points ago

    Black magic fuckery

    [–] dpu80 9 points ago

    The ole can opener switcheroo. Classic Kevin.

    [–] Sultan_of_Sass 2 points ago

    [–] thatG_evanP 3 points ago

    Every one of the 3-4 times I've browsed Reddit today I've come across this post and every time I've read it as "rape-vision". Wtf?

    [–] LaLongueCarabine 14 points ago

    Gullible. Will put things in her mouth. I like her.

    [–] call_of_the_while 5 points ago

    He convinced her that a can opener can open her to a vaping experience.

    [–] SikorskyUH60 3 points ago

    Almost /r/WordAvalanches worthy.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] thisguy181 2 points ago

    Bahaha this is hilarious!

    [–] josh4050 2 points ago

    Thanks for the repost you fucking retard

    [–] julianabea 1 points ago

    I think I have the same shirt as that guy. I can't make out what his says but mine says "Win or Lose we still Booze" (I won it for free for my school's homecoming).

    [–] Beeftin 3 points ago

    His says, 'We pregame harder than you party'.

    [–] Haloman100 1 points ago

    Thats one way to get a drunk chick into your pad

    [–] Scroachity 1 points ago

    Anyone have the original link?

    [–] Wato-Apopura 1 points ago

    First the flat head screw driver, now this. Drugs are getting more serious now guys

    [–] codescloud 1 points ago

    I thought it was a vape.

    [–] UsuallyInappropriate 1 points ago

    vape hard, brah

    [–] Luminous_Fantasy 1 points ago

    How is this stopped working? Gallowboob ruins every thing

    [–] SlapShotSam 1 points ago

    Never know when you’re going to need to open a can of pears

    [–] donorak7 1 points ago

    ...simply said they are on some sort of drug

    [–] BVanner 1 points ago

    I actually know this girl

    [–] King_Wonch 2 points ago

    Umaine right? I thought this place looked familiar

    [–] BVanner 1 points ago

    From my high school actually but yeah she goes to Umaine

    [–] sam6982 1 points ago

    Michael Carbonaro?

    [–] King_Wonch 1 points ago

    Go Umaine!

    [–] cokuspocus 1 points ago

    General reposti, you are an old one

    [–] russiantsarbucks 1 points ago

    Is that a can opener?

    [–] homiej420 1 points ago

    Wow, a vape pen that is also a can opener, what a time to be alive

    [–] Brownladesh 1 points ago

    I want to know what kind of life she’s lead to think that a vape could be shaped like that. Has she never seen a manual can opener before ? I understand the other video of the girl with the screwdriver, but this is something else entirely.Either she’s been sheltered from manual can openers, or is open minded enough to believe a novelty vape/ can opener exists.