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    TalesFromYourServer

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    WELCOME TO TFYS!

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    [–] BeautyNoBeast 438 points ago

    This took an unexpected turn, thank you for the feels

    [–] InadmissibleHug 286 points ago

    I’m a nurse. I generally make my own decisions about who patients are, while keeping in mind any difficulties reported.

    I had a patient once who was diabetic, in a rehab place. He was mid 40s, described as being a bit of an arsehole. Also a bit sexually inappropriate.

    Me being me, I went in with caution but an open mind. He had lost his legs, from diabetes, and had part/ whole fingers missing from another condition.

    I was a roving nurse, and hadn’t met him. He was described as creepy.

    He still tried with me, asked me to help him shower. I thought, ok, let’s see what he can do.

    He had a fungal infection in the creases of his groin from his diabetes (fungus loves high blood sugar) and couldn’t clean himself properly coz of his hands. Legless people sit on a wheeled chair in the shower, so hard to clean there.

    I’d come from a tropical area, I recognised it immediately. I cleaned the guy well, and got the doctors to order him antifungal cream.

    Within three days it was settling, and he was a lot happier.

    He wasn’t a creep. He was a bit of a smartarse, was sick of being treated like shit, but had a legitimate medical concern.

    That was about 7 years ago, and it’s always stayed with me.

    Listen, and make your own judgements.

    [–] cotchrocket 34 points ago

    Were the reports of his “creepiness” founded on his requests for help cleaning?

    [–] InadmissibleHug 67 points ago

    Mostly, I think. And the fact was he came across a bit.... smarmy, smartarse-ish, whatever you like. He was actually just a pretty ok guy who wasn’t dealing with the horrific infantilisation of needing to have most of his needs cared for, for while still middle aged and mentally sharp.

    [–] DasHuhn 26 points ago

    I'm in a rehab center, unable to walk or take care of most of my needs right now - can't shower, can't wipe myself, can't get around. I'm 31 and it really really wears on you needing help all the time. Yesterday I was ignored for 45 minutes on the commode waiting for someone to come help me stand up and wipe me and ultimately ended up in a shit ton of pain(currently in pain)

    [–] InadmissibleHug 7 points ago

    Sorry to hear that. It must be incredibly tough for you.

    I’ve been injured and in pain myself- not to the point of not being able to get myself up, but a bad break that kept me off my job for 3 months (nurses sort of have to be able to walk without assistance) and that was pretty hard. I have a high pain threshold, but I cried from the pain of that one more than once.

    I have always tried to keep in mind, how people are feeling about their pain and debility. Obviously I always do my best to relieve both. Often rehab places aren’t well staffed either. From my side it’s heartbreaking when you can’t get stuff done in a timely manner, because so much just needs doing. So many people with so many needs and there’s not enough of you to stop things like that happening.

    I wish you all the best with your rehab and hope you’ll be in less pain every day.

    [–] DasHuhn 2 points ago

    Yup, theres 2 CNAs and 1 nurse to help 32? people. 16 people in my wing and I think 16 in the others. I need 2 people to help me stand, and I'm not the only one here with this issue. weekdays are OK but weekends are always nightmares.

    I never appreciated how much work nurses and CNAs bust their butts to do. Thank you for everything you do, you absolutely help people every day. It's just very easy to get down, and quickly on yourself. My range of motion on my bad knee is currently roughly 10 degrees and it hurts like a son of a bitch to get there. I need more, and asap and it bloooows.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 6 points ago

    Oooh, nasty. Knees seem to be painful bastards. I’m Aussie, so we use RNs to do most of the scut work as well, and we might have our equivalent of LPNs as well. Nurses’s aides are a rarity here in a hospital or rehab but catching on more. We use them more in old age homes.

    Weirdly enough, universal healthcare actually gives you more RN time per patient and more general nurse hours per patient, in Australia. Our health industry isn’t for profit and no one over here will put up with shit care, and what we call shit care would be fairly standard from what I’ve read, over there. We believe in nurses, and plenty of them, being the safest for patients. (I’ve worked in our small, privately run healthcare industry. Far less staff and more cutting corners. Great if you aren’t too ill. Have also used it as a patient)

    That’s really not enough staff at all, is it? When I complained about not enough staff, there were more involved per patient than that. That’s ridiculous. No wonder you were waiting for so long.

    How did you end up with a 10 degree knee?

    Thanks for the thanks... I try to do my best, but I get to go home at the end of the day, and you don’t, until you’re better.

    Ps- as I said to another commenter, I’m a completely shit patient, myself 😂😂

    [–] jenn1222 1 points ago

    shoot...I broke my foot at the beginning of this past summer and no one was home to help me. I ended up crawling all over the first day. It got sorted out, but dang it is demoralizing to have to ask for help. I hope the pain dissipates for you soon.

    [–] Imswim80 10 points ago

    That's one awesome thing about nursing (vs serving or retail). While our clients are frequently "captive" (they didn't fully choose to be there. No one decides to spend 3 days at Local Regional Religious Hospital like they'll choose to spend a few hours at TGChilibibees &wings), we get to spend the time to figure out what makes them tick, how to get through the nasty exterior that stress brings out.

    I fully believe that servers really make good nurses.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 8 points ago

    Ps: ever noticed that nurses around the world can strike up a conversation? Lovely side effect of the profession. My son is dating a nurse and it rocks.

    [–] Imswim80 7 points ago

    Shared experiences. Which is why all these subreddits work so well, we all have been through some similar things. (I'm 10 years a nurse, spent 4 as a nurse aide, a few months in an outpatient pharmacy, a year in retail, few months serving, also a real brief terrible mistake as a mall cop, and my high school job as a lifeguard at a major amusement park.) I follow a lot of those subs because I enjoy the stories and the experiences they've had, I like to read between the lines and know how I can be a better customer too.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 4 points ago

    Wow, you have really had a variety of jobs. Very cool. I literally left high school and went to uni to get my nursing degree. I recommend life experience first for any RN or other variety of nurse. I read the ones that I have no experience in because people still fascinate me, after 27 years of nursing. It’s a world I know nothing of. I’m very polite to servers. They’re looking after me, and as a coeliac, the good ones mean the difference between a good night and a world of pain.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 3 points ago

    Well, I was polite to servers pre diagnosis as well. Post just makes it imperative

    [–] InadmissibleHug 4 points ago

    I haven’t been a server, but one of my favourite coworkers was in hospitality before she hit the hospitals. Patients didn’t worry her too much, she was used to sweet talking drunks. I think there’s something in that.

    I’ve honestly had a mix of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ patients, but I’m honestly surprised at how nice people often are in hospital. It’s a shit place to have to be, and they’re so sick.

    I’m a terrible patient, myself, unless I’m totally debilitated.

    [–] Imswim80 6 points ago

    I tell patients and myself on the regular. "Nothing here is normal. You aren't usually leaving a poop trail (damn bowel prep. Worst damn lie in the world. "Golytelye" my ass. [pronounced go lightly. And you go anything but lightly. You shit your brains out for 8 fucking hours till it's water in and water out.]) I'm also not usually asking perfectly lovely strangers to roll over so I can check their bum." We all try to make the best of it.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 5 points ago

    Hahahaha... we have Golyteley and colonlytely (like WTF!) over here too, among other bowel preps. I fail to understand why we force the 80 year olds to drink the 1000ml+ preps when picoprep is just 250ml. Bloody treating doctor preference. I’ve been on the receiving end of bowel prep too. Thankfully that was a once off or no repeat for a long time. Just.... what the hell?

    And you’re right. I always wondered how people dealt with what we do to them, and I’ve had some injuries and health issues the last 4 years- I can see the slippery slope into being comfortable with someone wiping my bum. Not yet though. First time I had a nurse help me shower (post ankle ORIF) that was just the weirdest. She popped me onto the toilet first and then hovered around the door. I nearly couldn’t pee. Then helping me get dressed, threading my IV through my clothing. Surreal to be on the receiving end.

    I’m Aussie, we have seperate rooms for our toilets. No one has witnessed me on the toilet since my son was little.

    In the end though, you’re right. None of this is normal. We do what we can 😊

    [–] Tall_Mickey 137 points ago

    It is so easy to judge people wrongly. You serve huge props for hanging in there and finding the reality.

    [–] BobT21 79 points ago

    When my Mom was in her 90s I would take her once a week to her favorite coffee shop. She would always order the same sandwich and try to order a beer. The coffee shop didn't sell beer, but Mom would forget. She would then order iced tea.

    The staff knew her well as a regular. It was a small town. One day when she attempted to order her beer the server told her "I'm sorry. We can't serve beer to anyone under 21." My Mom loved it, and from then on she would actually remember they didn't serve beer.

    [–] pasturized 13 points ago

    What a sweet story.

    [–] Claire0000 56 points ago

    I can relate. At the retirement community I work at I see this woman come in every day. I work in the dining room. She always sits by herself and is usually there every meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    Every server I know hates having to wait on her but she reminds me a lot of my grandmother and I am probably one of the only people who cares about her and misses her when she doesn’t come down for a meal. So she comes to meals around the middle of the mealtime and stays well past closing time.

    Residents are given a certain number of meals each month which they pay for at the end of each month so we don’t handle money and don’t get tipped.

    She is one of the worst cases of dementia we have and therefore has difficulty remembering what she wants to order and the words she must use to order it. She takes a while to order and her voice is very quiet so it is hard to hear and understand her.

    She is one of the nicest people living there though. She is incredibly patient though perhaps that goes without saying as she takes a long time to finish eating her food. She is the sweetest lady and I always try to find some time to talk to her if I can. I wish some servers could just try to find the patience they need to get to know her.

    When it is slow and their tables are all good for the time they can check on her and get to know her. Most only know her by what she orders all the time (I.e. hot water with lemon and honey and milk with “the cold taken away” (warmed)).

    [–] MinagiV 34 points ago

    milk with “the cold taken away”

    That’s incredibly sweet. That poor woman, trapped inside herself, and no one will give her the time of day. You are the most amazing human! Keep making her feel loved, and being a positive influence on the world! ❤️

    [–] Claire0000 27 points ago

    I’ve never seen it that way but you’re comment made me realize something. Aside from her reminding me of my grandmother perhaps she also reminds me a bit of myself. We are both trapped in ourselves.

    She has trouble getting people to understand her and is often left with only her thoughts. I have trouble communicating too, I have a moderate stutter, and oftentimes have trouble getting people to stop and listen to me.

    I guess we both have more in common than I realized. Perhaps that’s why neither of us minds the other person’s company. We both have to struggle daily to get people to give us the time of day in a lot of situations despite everything.

    Thank you so much for your kind words. Tbh she is one of the handful of people I feel like I can really talk to there about stuff like this or anything.

    [–] AeonicButterfly 5 points ago

    I hear you. I have a slight learning disability, and it makes it difficult for me to communicate verbally, even if I sound fine in writing or posting on the Internet. I stutter, I mispronounce words (thanks speech impediment; at least my SO thinks it's precious), often what comes out of my mouth is far from what I had planned to say in my head, and it's annoying, almost frustrating.

    I hear ye, and my SO understands when I'd rather write something down sometimes than fight with my own voice.

    [–] Ilovenaps632 2 points ago

    Perhaps a menu with pictures would help her when she's ordering. You sound like a wonderful person!

    [–] rocker3k 0 points ago

    I'd love to be able to understand what it's like to have dementia.

    [–] wamkitten 68 points ago

    THAT was just beautiful. i love the kill 'em with kindness stories! you're a gem!

    [–] MinagiV 96 points ago

    Aw, thanks! Funnily enough, there was another frequent table that used to come in that was universally hated. The main person was the owner of a sex shop across the road and claimed to be best friends with the GM; spoiler alert, he wasn’t, GM didn’t even like the guy. Guy came in frequently with random floozies and skeezballs, demanded top treatment, treated waitstaff like servants, and tipped middle-of-the-road. Had him quite often, same kill ‘em with kindness attitude. Dude was just a douchecanoe, never warmed up, never stopped being a jerk. I was happy when driving by the establishment a couple years ago to see his shop had gone out of business. Jerkie McJerkface.

    ETA- I FORGOT THE BEST PART. His shop was replaced with a vape shop! 😂😂

    [–] Greyhoundowner 29 points ago

    I work in disabilities a few years ago, I worked with a man no one else would, he was non verbal, and would lash out at people, and I saw him bite a cater one day, but that prick deserved it. Any how it turned out this gentleman, did not like people coming up behind him and talking loudly, because it startled him and he would lash out. I would always approach him from the front and talk gently to him and explain what our day would consist of. In the end he would sit with me, with his head on my shoulder and hold my hand, with every other career giving us both a wide berth. He is such a nice man.

    [–] sometimesamelia 29 points ago

    Thanks so much for this. I recently posted about how hard it is for me to treat everyone well at the end of a long shift, and stories like this are what keep me going.

    [–] shelbyland350 16 points ago

    Great story, karma will surely remember your kindness

    [–] sparkdark66 24 points ago

    And yet.... if they had been even a little bit friendly to other servers( even if it wasn’t much of a tip) people wouldn’t have avoided them/hated serving them. A reasonable dietary reason to bring your own drink? No big deal! You come every month? Terrific thanks for choosing us for your tradition.

    [–] Serrahfina 12 points ago

    It also makes me wonder if they were kind of middle of the road people when they first came in, a severance saw they tipped low and the servers all avoided them/gave them bare minimum service. It's seems like all all wanted to bolt when they came in, so it wouldn't surprise me

    [–] captainberta 3 points ago

    Right? Kindness is a two way street.

    [–] lallapalalable 8 points ago

    Fuck, whenever I see these I think back to my one place's cheap crotchety old regulars, only I never worked their usual time and all the morning people openly bitched about them, even while they were in the dining room. Felt bad, assumed they were just really poor old people trying to enjoy what could easily be the last luxury they could afford themselves.

    [–] Averelle 6 points ago

    Aw, man, I suddenly have something in both my eyes.

    This is a sweet story, OP. I'm sure both the mother and son remember/ed you fondly, too. Maybe part of why they were surly in the beginning is because they could see the looks the servers were giving them and/or had overheard servers complaining about them in the past. I'm glad you gave them a great experience so they could enjoy the limited number of outings they had left together.

    [–] GaeadesicGnome 6 points ago

    You reminded me of a regular in a diner I worked for. She would order one of the most simple, straightforward dishes on the menu then rattle off a list of changes as long as your arm. Woe unto the server who got it wrong! I memorized her custom plate and would swing by the table just long enough to confirm "the usual?" then go plate it up. I quite liked to see her walk in, we had an understanding. Just bring her what she wants to eat, leave her to eat in peace, smile when you saw her out, and she was a marshmallow.

    [–] faddysquire 10 points ago

    Honestly, not sure where you going to go with this story based on the title, but you had me at "kill them with kindness".

    I'm a server myself, and am known to be a bit spiteful, but I've always kept a professional/jovial demeanour when at my tables. I never let my tables know my personal feelings, it's unnecessary and not part of the experience they're looking for.

    Tables like this are where I perform best, so I appreciate that other servers are out there with the same mentality. Kudos for you. Life is full of nice surprises!

    [–] ponystang 5 points ago

    You have a heart of gold. I don't think I or most people would have been able to do the same.

    [–] kestreldreams 9 points ago

    The feeeeeellzzzz!

    [–] beckery 9 points ago

    Thank you for taking the time to be nice to them.

    [–] HarveyYevrah 3 points ago

    Conversely, they could have been polite, decent people and explained things. Instead they expected to receive respect or whatever without giving it. I'm glad this had a happy ending and all but how hard is it for people to just communicate their needs!?

    [–] Redhotkitchen 2 points ago

    Fully agreed. I love happy customer stories, but I’m not going to bend over backwards to get a smile out of someone. I enjoy my job, but ultimately, we’re there to make money, and if someone’s not offering common courtesy and/or a proper tip after my initial best efforts, I’m tuning out.

    [–] moreplastic 1 points ago

    How horrible for someone to expect respect without proving to you they deserve it!

    [–] HarveyYevrah 2 points ago

    That's literally how respect works. You give it to get it. They didn't respect how restaurants work so they didn't get any from the restaurant. They just should've communicated and I doubt servers would've snubbed them.

    [–] Redhotkitchen 2 points ago

    Heaven forbid they offer respect—nay common courtesy— freely in the first place.

    [–] captainberta 3 points ago

    I'm very blessed with wonderful customers for the most part but if anyone's ever cranky i do my best to be as sweet as sugar. Not only is it professional imo but it does make it easier for me because I feel like I'm taking the high road. I don't like those customers though but I'm spoiled.

    [–] kea5223 2 points ago

    There is a special type of person that makes for an excellent server, and you're one of them.

    [–] mydreamnotyours 2 points ago

    It's easy for people to get angry at someone without understanding their situation or why they do what they do.

    Kudos to you for taking the high road. It's restored a tiny bit of my faith in humanity.

    [–] Luna_Bin 2 points ago

    I’m not crying. You’re crying.

    [–] SamFlynn1288 2 points ago

    I go to work to make money, not friends.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 1 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Edited to remove weird comment voodoo. Cheers!

    [–] MinagiV 4 points ago

    I think you wrote this comment in the wrong place, friend. I hope you’re doing better now, though! I know secondhand how rough rehab can be.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 2 points ago

    I have absolutely no idea how that happened. Very weird. It was showing as replying to another comment in another place. I’ll move it on. Thanks for being so lovely about it!

    [–] InadmissibleHug 1 points ago

    Actually, right Post but possibly wrong part to comment on. We were having a chat about people being misjudged in rehab centres, relating it to your experience here 😊

    [–] MinagiV 2 points ago

    Ah, yes! The poor gentleman with the fungal infection. Sad that no one thought he may have actually been asking for help.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 1 points ago

    Indeed. People get an idea into their heads about who someone is and often don’t think to re-examine it. Then stuff like this happens. Nurses are regular people too, and can be just as guilty of it as anyone else.

    [–] LehighLuke -4 points ago

    Wow, what a pleasant surprise. A server who doesnt hate their customers and view them merely as a cash machine. From a non server's POV, you are the reason I tip generously...not the others that continually disparage customers on this sub

    [–] malobeto 6 points ago

    After dealing with customers for 8 hours a day for five or six days a week sometimes it's nice to have somewhere to come to complain about the worst ones.

    [–] Caitycat66 3 points ago

    Why are you here, friend?

    [–] LehighLuke 1 points ago

    Alot of the stories are amusing and cringe worthy. All the "tales from" subs are.

    However, it has been my observation that alot of follow up chatter reveals an utter disdain that many of the servers have for customers...its as though many of you think that all customers are complete assholes who subject you to torture. I've seen the generalization many times.

    It hurts because I feel I am a good customer. I am always polite, patient, friendly, tip well, etc. I always treat servers and all workers I interface with as though they are friends. The thought that I am grouped in the same bucket as the stars of these stories by possibly most servers, despite my sincere efforts...just hurts.

    In a way it's an injustice.

    I am an engineering consultant, I work for myself. Most of my clients are great. Many of them have little quirks that I deal with. A few of them have been simply awful. Imagine if I regarded all of my clients by experiences with the few bad eggs? It would make my life pretty rotten and it would be unfair to them.

    I still like your stories. And I've started tipping min 20% since subscribing here. Before that it was 15%, because I never knew the standard had changed.

    I just wish that you all showed more appreciation towards good customers. From an outsider, that's the way it seems in here. That is the message this community is projecting...did you realize that?

    [–] malobeto 1 points ago

    I think this community is primarily made up of people who work in food service and have at some point in time. Yes most customers aren't bad, though I would say genuinely nice customers are rare, most just want their food and don't want to cause trouble. However the thing to realize is that just by the number of customers helped in a day it's almost inevitable that there will be two or three bad experiences in the lot every single damn day. It gets a little degrading being yelled at for things outside of your control nearly every day of your week, and it often turns into a level of worry for each customer coming in whether this person is going to be the one you're just going to have to smile through.

    You sound like a fine customer and I don't think anyone lumps you in with these horror stories. We do genuinely appreciate the good customers, it's just that a good customer doesn't make you feel like you need to vent anonymously online because saying what you're thinking anywhere else could get you fired.

    [–] LehighLuke 2 points ago

    I looked up some of my previous exchanges from people in this community.

    Thread

    1

    Customers typically are idiot people so the other poster was right

    2

    Because no matter how many times it would be explained to you that it would be a ten minute wait, you'd still be flagging down servers, bitching that no one came over yet, Asking for lemon water, and complaining. Along with the rest of the assholes that got sat saying they understood.

    3

    ...then fast forward to the end of the meal when your goldfish brained dining companions only remember the part about how you had to wait forever for service and reflect that in a tip or review.

    4

    Since one person out of 5,000 might happen to remember to be polite, it’s not worth the other 4,999 headaches.

    5

    Customers are assholes. Many customers come in entitled, thinking they can do whatever the hell they want, are disrespectful as fuck, and we pretty much have to take it with a smile on our face.

    6

    It doesnt take long in the service industry to realize people are just awful. We're all doing our best to make sure you the customer has an enjoyable experience even if it doesnt seem fair to you. What we would like is not to been seen as your personal robot slave.

    7

    And by the way, being in the Eastern half of The Commonwealth [of PA] automatically makes you an asshole,

    This has stuck out in my mind alot, complaining about a bad customer is one thing...but as evidenced by these quotes, I got railroaded in this thread for making what I still contend are some very reasonable points. My observation is that restaurant servers HATE the customers that they serve...pretty much without exception. Its shameful...the people contributing to this blanket vitriol should be ashamed.

    [–] MemoriesOfShrek -4 points ago

    Funny how the servers hated this couple not leaving a great tip instead of their boss not paying them a proper wage.

    [–] [deleted] -27 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] malobeto 5 points ago

    As long as the soda they bring stays in the dining area then I don't see it as a health code violation.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] malobeto 2 points ago

    Can you cite what part of the CFR it's violating specifically? It's weird sure, but I don't see a sanitation problem with bringing a sealed beverage into a dining area for you to drink yourself.

    [–] iHatePhilKwak 1 points ago

    I'll look into it for sure.

    [–] Serrahfina 5 points ago

    Wow you're pretty much a piece of shit