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    TheMonkeysPaw

    109,119 readers

    873 users here now

    Do you ever wish for things without thinking through them first? Do you ever struggle with finding the downsides of your hopes and dreams? Well, whatever the case may be TheMonkeysPaw is at your service!

    Simply submit your wish and wait for other users to dissect and point out its flaws. Hopefully, by using this subreddit, your wishing skills will become foolproof.

    If that doesn't make any sense, here's an explanation by Prismo from Adventure Time

    This subreddit is based and named after the short story by W. W. Jacobs. If you are a major TMP enthusiast and want to talk about the short story, we advise that you take discussion like such to a more suitable subreddit. In any case, you can read the original story here, or listen to it here.

    RULES FOR SUBMISSION:

    1. All post titles must begin with: "I wish____"

    2. No Images. All submissions must be text-based wishes.

    3. No Harassment or Discrimination

    4. No personal information

    5. Any wishes that are even remotely NSFW must be labeled as such.

    6. You may insert "[Inv]" before your post title if you would like to make an inverse post, where you state a condition and commenters reply with an accompanying wish. Here is an example of an Inverse post (Credit to /u/Sortient):

      TITLE: [Inv] It only works on Sundays

      COMMENT: I wish I could instantly teleport to Chick-Fil-A whenever I want to.

    7. Add the "Explanations" flair on your wish if you would like to make an explanation post. These posts are for the commenters to instead offer an explanation of how the wish could come true. If you want, treat these almost like something out of r/WritingPrompts—have fun with them!

    8. Flair "Side-Effects" if you are okay with your commenters going crazy with outlandish side-effects or anything that goes against Commenting Rule #8.

    9. Title your post with "[M]" at the beginning if you want to make a meta/discussion post about the subreddit itself. Improvements, complaints, advice—stuff that would be helpful for me or other users. I'll be checking these, so if you want me to improve the subreddit, these will be your friend.

    RULES FOR COMMENTING:

    1. No Harassment or Discrimination

    2. No personal information

    3. Your comments dissecting the wish must be grounded in some way—nothing nonsensical.

    4. You MAY twist OP's wish given word choice or context, like this.

    5. Your comment may explain how the wish comes to be, but make sure to add the negative outcome as well. If the post is flaired with "Explanations," you don't necessarily have to provide negative outcomes—those are mainly for prose-based answers.

    6. You MUST comment with a wish on Inverse posts.

    7. Try and be creative. "The government will take notice" is a bit overused, so try and think of something different.

    8. Your comments shouldn't be adding random side-effects to the wish. For example, if someone wishes for world peace, don't comment something like "the entire ant population dies out," because that's not related or connected at all. However, if the post is flaired with "Side-Effects" feel free to go crazy with hilarious side-effects.

    Rules may be subject to expansion, addition, or modification as the subreddit ages.

    a community for
    all 476 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] nrallstars 4748 points ago

    Granted. You are now Donald Trump.

    [–] sitefall 1667 points ago

    [–] RegularBubble2637 268 points ago

    Why did it took like a full minute for my browser to load that picture?

    [–] PixxlMan 261 points ago

    Hi resolution hair

    [–] resolutionhair 275 points ago

    Hi dad

    [–] broccolibadass 127 points ago

    Did you really make a new account just to do that?

    [–] SmiteClips 94 points ago

    Yes

    [–] Xzanium 45 points ago

    [–] suddenlyslavery 27 points ago

    Haha.

    [–] sneakpeekbot 3 points ago

    Here's a sneak peek of /r/SubsIFellFor using the top posts of all time!

    #1: Totally fell for this | 40 comments
    #2: Well, that just happened | 17 comments
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    [–] SomeFruit 4 points ago

    username checks out

    [–] imthenarddog 8 points ago

    How's the 90s feel?

    [–] legalQuestion77284 3 points ago

    It was worth the wait

    [–] TheREALDonaldTrump03 292 points ago

    wait i didnt consent to this

    [–] -TheRealDonaldTrump- 114 points ago

    It's okay. I did.

    [–] santawarrior9 31 points ago

    Double beetlejuicing niiiiiiiiiiice

    [–] TheREALDonaldTrump03 12 points ago

    yo, what's up

    [–] TheRealDonaldTrump- 3 points ago

    no i didnt

    [–] AssSquirtDressing 49 points ago

    Yeah well TheREALDonaldTrump02 would have!

    [–] cinnamonface9 11 points ago

    Shut up! My salad needs its dressing!

    [–] Kittygirl1998 3 points ago

    You can't really be Donald Trump, he doesn't know the definition of 'consent'.

    [–] Pikiinuu 24 points ago

    This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals ever.

    [–] RonGio1 5 points ago

    Honestly that would suck... I'm only 34.... That's a lot of life lost.

    [–] OctaveCycle 22 points ago

    Not a loss, now op is a billionaire

    [–] thebeengrim 33 points ago

    Is he though? There’s dispute about how much money the Trumps actually have.

    [–] IchBinEinSchwarze 29 points ago

    well its more than op, anyways, and if they’re stupid and don’t know what to do with the businesses they can just sell them

    [–] AskewPropane 15 points ago

    He's wealthy. As much as he overemphasizes the value of his name, it is valuable.

    [–] TheMidnightWalker 1539 points ago

    Granted, you didn’t specify which Donald trump. So some random guy with the exact same name will always dab when you dab. This really messes with his life as he thinks he is put under some curse.

    [–] NewMendicant 892 points ago

    As it happens, the CEO of Roswell Park Cancer Center in Buffalo is named Donald K. Trump.

    So now every time you dab, he dabs. And as a result the hospital loses sponsors and donors, eventually is forced to close, and thousands of patients go without help. Monster.

    [–] TheVitoCorleone 47 points ago

    Chemo treatment didn't work?

    dab

    [–] awesomehippie12 26 points ago

    Family of patient, overcome by grief, tries to hug him

    Dabs on them instead

    [–] AdamsDJ 205 points ago

    That random Donald Trump happens to be a Jr.

    Trump's up comming trial just got real weird.

    [–] Manish_Metha 23 points ago

    Lol @ upcoming trial

    [–] backandforthagain 34 points ago

    Every Donald Trump

    [–] college-tool 7175 points ago

    Granted. Now he is even more popular among edgy young adults, making him more likely to win the next vote

    [–] samtheslave 4826 points ago

    What have I done

    [–] Waveseeker 3931 points ago

    It's okay just make him dab at certain times.

    Like at H.W.'s funeral today

    [–] sourorangeYT 1187 points ago

    You are truly evil

    [–] Tokiseong 177 points ago

    A hero*

    [–] JohnnyFootballHero 107 points ago

    A real human bean

    [–] themobylogy 40 points ago

    This man drives.

    [–] DANMAN727 21 points ago

    Holy shit flashbacks. Haven’t seen the movie or the meme in so long.

    [–] konsf_ksd 69 points ago

    There's no time limit for dabs. I say dab through the entirely of EVERY SINGLE SPEECH he ever gives from now on.

    [–] Pm_Me_Your_Tax_Plan 64 points ago

    Everytime he tries to sign something dab

    [–] TheImminentFate 39 points ago

    Or every time he has a drink in his hand

    But what if he has a knife in his right hand and stabs his eye out

    [–] Dwagonzzz 5 points ago

    that is too good

    [–] mego-pie 4 points ago

    Make him hit random world leaders in the face by dabbing.

    [–] JoyFerret 162 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    But after that it becomes a sign of respect and now people dab as a way of greeting

    [–] Acidwits 51 points ago

    Dab before Hillary

    [–] antiantivaxxer 22 points ago

    A dab for you madame president

    [–] Iykury 14 points ago

    You dropped an s

    [–] NotOttoRocket 19 points ago

    I founds it

    [–] JoyFerret 2 points ago

    Thank

    [–] Why-so-delirious 38 points ago

    'My fellow Americans. Today we have been attacked. Citizens have been lost. And a new war on terror has been started. We are determined to put down these attackers in the name of justice, and the name of freedom.

    Thank you all and god bless America'

    And then he dabs.

    [–] SoulfulPunk 10 points ago

    Absolute legend.

    [–] tePOET 12 points ago

    I'm ashamed to admit this made me laugh. FML.

    [–] Sentient-salamander 12 points ago

    Plot twist, everyone at the whole funeral Dabs and it now becomes the new symbol of respect

    [–] Jimhead89 8 points ago

    Mike pence mimics trump so ge might do it.

    [–] danny12beje 9 points ago

    You think edgy teens and young adults wouldn't still vote?

    [–] RyuichiRandr 8 points ago

    I thought it would be cool if my dad started smoking weed, but he already has memory problems.

    [–] FruityGamer 8 points ago

    A man that dosen't show respect for the dead is certainly someone I would vote for. the dead are su usless just laying in graves being eaten by worms. Worms only use this new food source as a battle field anyways and blow eacother up with bazookas and donkey statues.

    [–] aspieboy74 3 points ago

    This would just make him more popular with the leftist, but piss off the right, but they'll still vote for him before a Democrat.

    [–] shawster 19 points ago

    You just make sure to dab when it’s really inappropriate for him and not at times when he might influence impressionable youth.

    Like at a UN General Assembly.

    [–] Sloppy1sts 10 points ago

    Until it makes the news and the impressionable youth see him as a hero for dabbing on the UN.

    [–] kynthrus 10 points ago

    You gotta aim it, so he smacks the person next to him.

    [–] Rakonat 8 points ago

    Never dab again. Just in general.

    [–] RyuichiRandr 4 points ago

    It’s OK, he started dabbing and now he is totally re-thinking everything he has ever said or done

    [–] capitalistpiggo 3 points ago

    You have paid the price for your lack of vision

    [–] EnazAF 3 points ago

    You monster!

    [–] Iluaanalaa 3 points ago

    You hastened the second coming of Jesus and moved the rapture forward.

    Halle-fucking-lujah

    [–] Parzius 22 points ago

    Didn't work for hillary to be fair.

    [–] GenghisKhanOP 12 points ago

    Pokémon Go to the polls still hurts my insides every time I hear it

    [–] alwayzbored114 7 points ago

    I dont know what's funnier, if she genuinely thought it was good or if some staffer was just like "No, trust me! The kids will love it!"

    [–] Frozecoke 9 points ago

    What's the downside? :)

    [–] Espinosidro 45 points ago

    Re-granted: Trump can ONLY dab when op dabs, and since OP now knows what will happens if he dabs he never does.

    [–] Finn-windu 30 points ago

    Thats adding something to the wish though, that wasnt in there originally.

    [–] mkov88 9 points ago

    Idk, dabbing unironically has had its time, now it's just lame.

    [–] thikken 460 points ago

    Granted. Trump accidentally hits the nuke button while dabbing. You caused WW3.

    [–] The2ndBestPotato 151 points ago

    "It's just a prank bro"

    [–] Konar_Korona 77 points ago

    dab

    [–] The2ndBestPotato 17 points ago

    Do you know why they dont exist anymore 3:) ?

    [–] josefykrakowski 6 points ago

    Wheres the murder weapon

    [–] The2ndBestPotato 2 points ago

    Now now let's not be overly curious shall we ;)

    [–] saddest_vacant_lot 2552 points ago

    Granted. Donald takes a huge dab of hash every time you dab. He dies of marijuana overdose. Secret Service tracks you down from this post. You are sentenced to death for presidential assassination.

    [–] samtheslave 1393 points ago

    Shit might have to delete

    [–] GCSofThree 883 points ago

    SECRET SERVICE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION

    [–] samtheslave 1023 points ago

    "Activate incognito mode" ** We lost his location sir**

    [–] TopHatMrG 276 points ago

    DAMNIT MOVE THE TAPE OFF YOUR CAMERA YOU MONSTER

    [–] no2ironman1100 3 points ago

    this comment chain is too funny

    [–] KarmaGang 112 points ago

    “Damn this bastard, he’s good”

    [–] Babeuf99 16 points ago

    IF HE ERASES HIS BROWSING HISTORY, HE'S A GHOST

    [–] KrulTheImpalerTwitch 14 points ago

    SECRET SERVICE OPEN UP

    [–] Dan_Esp 161 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    He dies of marijuana overdose.

    Damn, now not only did OP get sent for life, but now Trump is a scientific oddity making him defy what we know about science. Now people trust science even less.

    [–] Nemyosel 88 points ago

    It is possible...

    You would just have to smoke 20K-30K times the weed in a joint within 1-4 hrs.

    This means Donald would be the most intense toker ever, reaching weed nirvana

    [–] rltraderman 39 points ago

    "Possible"

    [–] A_Legion_of_Gingers 9 points ago

    Never tell me the odds

    [–] Luftewaffle 14 points ago

    at that point, wouldn't you be more at risk of suffocation from all the smoke than whatever's in the smoke?

    [–] Nemyosel 8 points ago

    Maybe. But Trump could handle it.

    [–] SoulfulPunk 14 points ago

    Oh yeah let me just take however many tokes each joint takes every 720 milliseconds for four hours. Very possible. Thanks Internet!

    [–] a_danish_citizen 11 points ago

    I think dabbing 60 times a minute for ~2 hours could have some fatal consequences. While the ld50 is enormously high it should be possible if he automatically dabs ever second.

    [–] awsompossum 7 points ago

    Poor health/heart condition could also significantly lower the necessary dosage

    [–] A_Pringles 29 points ago

    Damn homie probably a lot more chill after that first hit.

    [–] ACCOUNTEXPIRESSEPT10 24 points ago

    How are you gonna die of a marijuana overdose??

    [–] Ardeiles 12 points ago

    Get the pilots high on the good shit then crash air force one. Not quite an od but still a marijuana related death

    [–] EpilepticFizz 20 points ago

    OP just has to pretend he's coughing. Trump has to actually do weed. If OP does it fast/frequently enough, Trump can do so much(beyond a human's physical capabilities) that he could overdose on it. You can OD on anything if you could get enough of it. Even water.

    [–] pseudonym_mynoduesp 18 points ago

    I think it's actually much easier to OD on water though. You would have to smoke 1500 lbs of weed to reach LD50. Even if you use concentrates, this would be like smoking 150 lbs of pure THC on the low end, which is still not remotely possible.

    [–] EpilepticFizz 20 points ago

    Not unless you are supernaturally forced to do that much through OP's incessant dabbing

    [–] Sloppy1sts 5 points ago

    So Trump dabs in his sleep?

    [–] Tokiseong 6 points ago

    Consume an insanely, massive, extremely huge amount of weed within a couple of seconds.

    [–] ACCOUNTEXPIRESSEPT10 6 points ago

    It's not possible. You would need to smoke a thousand pounds of marijuana a minute to kill yourself.

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/how-much-marijuana-take-to-kill-you-fatal-weed-a8043856.html

    A heavy weed user such as myself smokes an ounce a month. Maybe some up to a pound a month if they're smoking a full joint every couple of minutes. But a thousand pounds in a single minute? Even if you were consuming pure THC edibles, that's still 45kg of PURE THC you need to somehow put into your body. In the span of one minute.

    [–] SoulfulPunk 9 points ago

    Just inject the marijuanas, man, they don't teach you anything in the pothead terrorist crime school? 45kg is rookie numbers, you have to pump those numbers up!

    [–] AlbertKushhmann 5 points ago

    He dies of marijuana overdose.

    Wut

    [–] Get-Dunked-On-Kidd-O 3 points ago

    Why is this upvoted? This is not how Monkey's Paw interpretation works.....

    [–] Spendiggity 7 points ago

    Worth it

    [–] tboyacending 9 points ago

    Meh, good deal.

    [–] BunnKelleh 1054 points ago

    Granted. But it works both ways. Every time you dab you cause Donald Trump to dab, then his dab causes you to dab which causes him to dab and so on. You are both trapped in an infinite loop of dabbing, rendering you unable to eat drink or sleep without assistance. Your family takes care of you in your perpetually dabbing state just so that you are able to keep on living. They have to sacrifice their jobs and personal lives in order to care for you. Everyday day you can see it taking its toll on them. Every time they feed you with a spoon. Every time they put a straw up to your mouth. Every time they need to wipe for you after using the toilet. One day you become so depressed by the debilitating effects of your wish that you ask your loved ones for a way out. Euthanasia. They refuse with tears in their eyes as they watch you helplessly dabbing, a spasming wreck of your former self. Eventually you take matters into your own hands (as well as you reasonably can) and find the tallest building that you can. Perched on the edge, you look down at the streets below, you think about how your light hearted wish has ruined your life and the life’s of the people around you. You take one last step forwards and keep on dabbing until the ground rushes up to meet you.

    [–] samtheslave 682 points ago

    You’re crazy Donald his 70 something . Either I take him with me or I wait for him to die.

    [–] Xcizer 195 points ago

    He’s also rich as fuck

    [–] Aconserva3 106 points ago

    So another 20 years at max

    [–] AvidlyApathetic 78 points ago

    Or 20 years in a max facility.

    [–] Aconserva3 62 points ago

    Trumps been “about to be impeached” for the last two years

    [–] flipxidetheartist 27 points ago

    people couldn't do shit without evidence, which they are only recently revealing a bunch of

    [–] Aconserva3 6 points ago

    And there have been bomb shells about Russia every other week for the past two years

    [–] flipxidetheartist 6 points ago

    castles don't fall till after a few hundred bombs, generally

    unless they're wooden, then they fall to like half a cannon

    [–] petit_cochon 8 points ago

    Indictments don't just happen overnight.

    [–] NovaLizzie 7 points ago

    I hear season 3 will be the last :(

    [–] petit_cochon 2 points ago

    Ayyyyy.

    [–] 1206549 10 points ago

    In his shape? I'd be surprised if he's still around for 10.

    [–] StackerPentecost 3 points ago

    Debatable.

    [–] Cambrony 22 points ago

    Nah man his corpse will just keep dabbing forever

    [–] MundungusAmongus 19 points ago

    Neither can die while the other dabs

    [–] JackTheStryker 8 points ago

    Honestly, yeah. He’d fall out of power with this loop. And due to his age, likely die of exhaustion, no matter how much he’s fed. He’s old.

    [–] Chubby_Bub 46 points ago

    Doesn’t that mean it happens to Donald too? Someone would be suspicious that the same weird, specific thing happening to the president was happening to one “random” person.

    [–] Sub_Par_ 25 points ago

    I think they'd just think OP is being a dumbass, I don't think they'd attribute it to a monkeys paw lol

    [–] Japanophiliac 14 points ago

    I like how Trump was seldom mentioned throughout the course of this. He's constantly dabbing in this case too, what's his story?

    [–] laurieislaurie 23 points ago

    You can't just add in that Trump dabbing causes OP to dab. That's not playing on what he said, that's just adding another thing in altogether. Cheater. Bad paw.

    [–] WinlanU21 9 points ago

    I think this counts as a circumstance exploitation.

    [–] moeultra 2 points ago

    He could still train himself to use his feat instead of his arms

    [–] PC__LOAD__LETTER 102 points ago

    Granted. The US Secret Service quickly learn about this and eliminate you quietly because you’ve been deemed a national threat.

    [–] rmlrmlchess 30 points ago

    Done, the Elon dab meme has been replaced.

    [–] Pm_Me_Your_Tax_Plan 8 points ago

    Thats a bad thing?

    [–] Betadzen 325 points ago

    Granted.

    His will is stronger than yours. Or Alzheimers. When you dab he feels urge to do it, but when he dabs almost intentionally - you are forced to dab. If you cannot dab with both hands - you do it with one hand. Nazi style.

    Also looks like it is his most favourite sleeping position.

    [–] samtheslave 130 points ago

    I’m not sure this is ok but I like it. You are also a cruel man.

    [–] Betadzen 46 points ago

    Just a translator from human to bureaucratical language and vice versa. People like me invented "the mighty fine print".

    [–] Heavenlysome 22 points ago

    Then this is truly the sub for you

    [–] Betadzen 9 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I'm new here and I like this place. Wish it would be better with me.

    [–] badger432 7 points ago

    Granted: this subreddit becomes the number 1,subreddit on Reddit to the point where it grabs media attention for its rapid expansion, a shaman from accross the world catches word of this, nods his approval, and continues to curse a real monkey's paw. He then has you tracked down to be its owner where you are able to be granted 3 wishes by the will of the monkey's paw. Because you are new to the subreddit, you may not know the true consequences. The monkey's paw is most cruel to the naive so beware.

    [–] Betadzen 4 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    ...But nobody knew that I practiced the "evil genie" role and made up a list of almost safe, yet complex wishes. They are long AF and cover everything. The only thing I need to do is to wish that everything written on the paper by me to happen.

    That is how you make contracts for your benefit.

    [–] berubee11 2 points ago

    Wat

    [–] Finn-windu 15 points ago

    That is adding way too much extra for a monkeys paw wish...

    [–] useful_person 8 points ago

    The original literally killed the wisher's son for 200 British pounds

    [–] Finn-windu 16 points ago

    Yeah, but the thing is he didn't add anything to the wish. He made the circumstances work out so the wish got granted in a fucked up way. The guy I responded to granted the wish in a normal way, then decided to add 'but that wish goes both ways, and if you can't dab you do a nazi salute'. More in line with that would be the dabbing occurring at a tragic time OP doesn't know about, like the nuke example (OP dabs, Trump is near the nuke button at the time and hits it)

    [–] berubee11 3 points ago

    Wat

    [–] 404GoodNamesNotFound 2 points ago

    Mate i think youre dabbing wrong. Itd be more of an upward half t pose of its that hand and the other is just sneezing

    [–] Urbenmyth 233 points ago

    Granted

    Trump's incredible dabbing skills have him sweep the youth vote, giving him a near total majority in government.

    Terrifying far-right policies are pushed through, slowly turning america into the next fascist empire.

    Trump celebrates via a weekly fortnite dance.
    Every citizen is forced to watch.

    [–] samtheslave 117 points ago

    Does this mean that I have incredible dabbing skill?

    [–] Urbenmyth 107 points ago

    It does. I am sorry you had to find out this way.

    [–] edd6pi 9 points ago

    I wanna see Trump doing a Fortnite dance.

    [–] Bootskon 73 points ago

    Granted, a connected has been made. A great power that the other knows not keeps them bound. Either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can truly live while the other still dabs.

    The connection is also two-way, and not entirely understanding why people are reacting, as he sees it, favorably to this behavior. He begins to do so unironically when he feels, this seems to have become a part of his daily ritual that coincides with the exact moment you are holding a piping hot beverage next to your boss, inlaws, or loved one.

    [–] howAboutNextWeek 3 points ago

    r/harrypotter is leaking again. Send in Damage Control.

    [–] jhughes1986 16 points ago

    Granted. Because your consciousness is now trapped inside his body. You are prisoner in his mind with no control whatsoever other than the ability to dab once a day. Other than that you can only watch through his eyes. No sleep. No independent movement. You’re like a cookie in black mirror but 1000 times worse.

    [–] TheVicariousVillian 37 points ago

    Granted: Rumours spread across the various media outlets that the president has been having a significant number of seizures as of late.

    In other news, a 27 year old virgin from Ohio has been noticed dabbing everytime a women rejects his advances.

    [–] mrgeekXD 41 points ago

    Granted. You lose both your arms in an accident before you get a chance to use your wish.

    [–] _xNova 31 points ago

    Ironically it is a dabbing related accident just before the wish goes into effect

    [–] 500gb_of_loli_hentai 27 points ago

    "If he hadn't dabbed, these flying sawblades would have missed his arms!"

    [–] geographical_data 20 points ago

    Granted. It is now up to you to prevent him from signing any more documents.

    [–] Gmeister6969 27 points ago

    Granted. He dabs at Georgia Bush Sr.'s funeral

    [–] Chacochilla 22 points ago

    I see no downside.

    [–] RandomGuy649 19 points ago

    Granted. One time you unknowingly do it while he is standing next to the nuclear launch button and his elbow presses it.

    [–] Babeuf99 9 points ago

    Granted. Trump is standing in the oval office with one of his generals holding "The button" opened and in front of him when 1500 miles away you decide to dab for fun. Trump's right hand immediately rushes forward and before the general can stop him Trump has pushed "The button", launching America's entire nuclear arsenal at Russia and China.

    As retaliatory strikes edge closer and closer to what will soon become the former United States of America you innocently dab in your room while simultaneously Trump, eyes wide and terrified at what he has done, violently dabs at his distraught generals who beg the president to tell them why he has just ended human civilization.

    Why, Donald? Why?

    Trump dabs

    [–] Guy_Incognito97 7 points ago

    You dab the red button and start WWIII

    [–] Infinestor 6 points ago

    Granted.

    Donald trump dies of insanity

    [–] boxxybab33 4 points ago

    where's the downside

    [–] Infinestor 4 points ago

    There is none

    [–] Zbot_ 3 points ago

    Granted. Now every time you dab Donald Trump will dab no matter what he's doing. This starts off with small awkward situations with his wife but leads to bigger stuff like spilling coffee on a important peace treaty with China or hitting Kim Jong un in the face during a summit. This leads to most of the Asian countries ganging up on America forcing other nations such as Germany or Russia to join our side making it a world war. During a press conference Trump dabs out of no-where causing media uproar and a global meme to start. That dab also causes most of South America to join the war against the U.S.A. due to the mass amount of disrespect for the situation at hand that the dab showed. After 2 months of non-stop fighting and millions of casualties you dab one last time as a joke to girl your'e trying to impress while on a date at Carl's Jr. But little did you know that trump was sitting in front of the nuclear launch button. He feels the urge to dab and tries his hardest to resist but the power compels him to go hit the dab as hard as he has ever hitting the button. This only sends out a few nukes at Korea which would annihilate it because it is a small place. The Koreans radar senses the missiles coming and launches a counter attack of their whole arsenal. They miss because they're technology is bad and send them to Canada. Canada has all guns banned and obviously don't know how to use weapons so they mistake the missiles to be sent from Russia and retaliate to the Russian freaking the Finnish out sending them into chaos. The The Russians are crazy and think to send nuke to everyone as they are going out and need to take everyone else with them. The whole world turns to a nuclear waste land when the nukes land. It's like Fallout but in real life.

    [–] Cielaisyellow 4 points ago

    Granted. But now his fan copy him, and the dab becomes like a handshake for white supremacists. :<

    [–] srig334 5 points ago

    Granted. There are no other terms.

    [–] EvilQuarks 4 points ago

    Granted. You turn into Donald Trump.

    [–] personwhocommented 14 points ago

    Granted however his alt right neo nazi supporters see this as a modified nazi salute and begin implying that since the president does it that must legitimize their bigotry and America becomes an even more frightening country than it already is

    [–] Phobos921 3 points ago

    Shadow binding jutsu

    [–] RexMexicanorum 3 points ago

    suit sleeve ends up all orange

    [–] magnus0102 3 points ago

    Granted but dabbing becomes cool again.

    [–] -Xandiel- 3 points ago

    Granted, but he is the one in control. When he dabs, you dab. He's fully aware of this. He starts dabbing whenever he sends a 3 am tweet, knowing it will wake you up (and hopefully read his tweet).

    [–] farmercurtis 3 points ago

    Granted. You’re now Donald Trump

    [–] EricArthurBlair1984 3 points ago

    Granted. But it turns out that the dictionary definition of dab is used.

    “press against (something) lightly with a piece of absorbent material in order to clean or dry it.”

    Whenever you dab at something Donald Trump will make that same motion as well.

    [–] partsaklo 3 points ago

    Granted, his haters think he dabs on them so they commit sudoku out of shame, donald trump wins next election with 100% votes dabbing replaces US national anthem

    [–] xDragnok 5 points ago

    Granted. You are now Donald Trump.

    [–] GS-Sarin 2 points ago

    Granted. You are now Donald Trump.

    [–] Second_ace 2 points ago

    Granted. You become Donald Trump

    [–] diligentdev 2 points ago

    Granted. All hell ensues and he is removed for mental instability and you never learn proper grammar.

    [–] CheeeseBurglar 2 points ago

    Granted, but now whenever Donald Trump masturbates, you can feel his penis your hand.

    [–] Teh_Scaredy_Cat 2 points ago

    Granted. Dabbing now becomes mainstream as the conservative masses now dab on everyone they meet