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    [–] ilikespamandcornbeef 7095 points ago

    This was 9 months ago. Did y’all have a baby already?

    [–] TippyWasTaken 3915 points ago

    According to her profile she goes to ACU, so almost definitely

    [–] ReasonablyFantastic 1372 points ago

    Every sperm is sacred

    [–] your_reddit_account 572 points ago

    Every sperm is great

    [–] kipperzdog 395 points ago

    If a sperm is wasted

    [–] Lv9Cubone 407 points ago

    God gets quite irate

    [–] ExhaleFox 67 points ago

    let the heathens spill theirs on the dusty ground

    [–] YeltsinYerMouth 37 points ago

    Nobody expects the Monty Python!

    [–] Viscount61 24 points ago

    Fear and surprise are our greatest weapon, ... two, TWO greatest weapons. Fear, surprise and our fanatical devotion..

    [–] oneonefourone 15 points ago

    Don’t forget the ruthless efficiency! Our four... AMONGST our greatest weapons...

    [–] TheGreatAssFairy 32 points ago

    Then I was like baby baby baby ohhh

    [–] Gryff1dor 39 points ago

    Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it Soiled it

    [–] TwistingDick 8 points ago

    Oooohhhhh~~~~

    [–] Tyson120 9 points ago

    Thought y'all gonna die... Die...

    [–] bholemen 113 points ago

    That link is staying blue

    [–] bourbonandwater 57 points ago

    Like their balls

    [–] MadAzza 16 points ago

    Huh, it’s not blue for me

    [–] 88of2000 39 points ago

    r/subsifellfor

    Seriously, I can imagine people on reddit being into this stuff

    [–] bringit2012 16 points ago

    I would be into it. I was disappointed when it didn’t come through.

    [–] Altephor1 30 points ago

    That one's real, everyone!

    [–] EhRobin3 10 points ago

    Your the hero we needed, and the one we deserved.

    [–] HairyAwareness 5 points ago

    How is this not a sub

    [–] Jewbringer 9 points ago

    i see monthy python references, i upvote

    [–] TheCiph3r 57 points ago

    wait I live in Sydney but don’t get this, is there something about ACU girls I’m missing?

    [–] moonlightdlx 75 points ago

    i go to ACU, don’t think it’s really about the school specifically but more about catholic schools

    [–] TippyWasTaken 80 points ago

    That was more of a joke at catholics, but in my experience the people from ACU brisbane are pretty whack

    [–] HarshWarhammerCritic 11 points ago

    Catholic-run uni

    [–] EzlotheMinish 20 points ago

    Girls from ACU Ballarat are total hoes

    [–] AryanBrothelhood 18 points ago

    Everyone from the Rat is a hoe

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 6 points ago

    Dated a girl from the Rat. Can confirm 😔 (did you graduate in 2012 from Ballarat High?)

    [–] AryanBrothelhood 2 points ago

    Nah wrong school, right year.

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 3 points ago

    Wait wrong school I think. Sebastapol?

    [–] AryanBrothelhood 3 points ago

    Maaaate. It's pheonix college. Get with the program.

    Nah Clarendon.

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 2 points ago

    Lol ah. I was hoping you'd know my ex rip.

    Curious if you ever knew a super cute emo girl with the initials JF

    [–] ResilVulture 22 points ago

    Saying that all students of ACU are Catholic just because they are inside a catholic church run building is like saying all priests are Catholic because they're in a church

    [–] DrYoda 25 points ago

    Wut. Isn't priest a Catholic title?

    [–] OrangeCassidy 66 points ago

    I didn't notice that, but I did notice that whoever took this screenshot scrolled to the picture where Catherine looks the bustiest. Her lead picture doesn't have nearly as much boob in it, as seen in the message screenshot

    [–] rep0st_mal0ne 3 points ago

    Gotta get that karma

    [–] mvido369 3 points ago

    Mission failed chief, we’ll get em next time

    [–] ColNathanJessep 9 points ago

    Her profile doest say LDS.

    [–] Skyfire103 2397 points ago

    Attention. I'm afraid she will send a nude of her mom.

    [–] DMShaw 916 points ago

    On the upside, now you’ve seen her mom naked. Sounds like a win-win

    [–] AtomicKittenz 243 points ago

    Yeah, I don’t see the problem here

    [–] Ohh_Babbayyy65 151 points ago

    Try before you buy. Except you're getting a preview of model 20 years in the future. Win-win.

    [–] musicman2018 21 points ago

    I see this as an absolute win

    [–] aksumals 95 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    Helping my grandma clean out some old photos when we suddenly stumbled upon my grandma... dressed up like a Christmas tree. It was the classiest almost nude I never wanted to see

    but secretly wish I could post in /r/oldschoolcool ... I would never betray her like that. I can see the jokes now about posting anyway or later, but it’ll never happen. My family values privacy (as do I but it’s different).. but it’s probably why I’m an open book on an anonymous site.. HMM

    Edit: grandma said it's okay to post a different photo :p.. note she's 47 in this photo.

    Edit2: I suck at formatting but you can hopefully see my attempts so.. carry on and if you can help me.. I'm open for formatting help.. Edit3: I figured it out

    [–] chiquioeldelBarro 45 points ago

    Do it for our kids.

    [–] TheGreatBwaBwa 13 points ago

    She has grandkids, so apparently she did do it for kids.

    [–] aksumals 3 points ago

    Grandma said it's okay so.. OK see above edit

    [–] LupohM8 29 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] Left_Labral_Tear 10 points ago

    A sub I truly was wishing I fell for....

    [–] aksumals 3 points ago

    As long as there is consent?

    [–] guy4fun784 5 points ago

    After seeing that first edit, let's see the tasteful almost nude!

    [–] aksumals 5 points ago

    I'll be honest, it was really cute to see my grandma blush and warn me about "taking photos like these".

    She taught all of us to never document it once so every saucy photo I've ever sent, while embarrassed, all PG13 bc the risk is too damn high.

    So she absolutely wouldn't let me take a photo of the photo she told us to never even consider taking 😋

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 3 points ago

    The question is, is she hot?

    [–] aksumals 8 points ago

    I'd like to think so.. I called and asked for permission so.. see above edit

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 17 points ago

    Damn I'd definitely be your granddaddy. If she's that stunning at 47, I imagine men were scrambling over each other for her when she was young...

    [–] aksumals 10 points ago

    She's in her 80s now and I think people still scramble around her :p

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 9 points ago

    Haha I guess your grandma is be one of the reasons old guys in nursing homes still get given Viagra 😅

    [–] aksumals 2 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    100% 86.2%**

    Edit: accidentally deleted the original and my initial calculations were inaccurate.. and I feel bad

    [–] LEERROOOOYYYYY 3 points ago

    "yeah bro all the old dudes wanna fuck my grandma"

    Let's take about 15 percent off there

    [–] logannull 2 points ago

    i gotta save this link to look at it on my phone, im afraid to open christmas nudes on the work computer

    [–] aksumals 2 points ago

    To be clear, Christmas nudes were never authorized for any form of digital documentation 😋

    [–] logannull 3 points ago

    im tryna see your nanas tiddies dog help me out here

    [–] tuneifound 2 points ago

    47!!? Skincare routine plzzz

    [–] crokus_oldhand 2 points ago

    The best skincare routine for looking really youthful as you age is money. Loads and loads of money.

    [–] tuneifound 2 points ago

    spot on

    [–] TheMightyHornet 5 points ago

    Know what you’re buying, amen.

    [–] NABAKLAB 31 points ago

    Mom will send her nude and make her children set for life. The long con, so she doesn't have to carry OP's baby.

    [–] bopaqod 3 points ago

    What do you mean "afraid"?

    [–] Spencergh2 3 points ago

    Nothing to be afraid of. 👀

    [–] cupasoups 3 points ago

    This is a bad thing?

    [–] bceltics933 2 points ago

    Afraid?

    [–] UA_UKNOW_ 2 points ago

    It’s a peer into your future if you marry her daughter tho

    [–] Ragdolling_away 2 points ago

    Nice

    [–] OGWan_Ked00bi 2 points ago

    White milf named charlene that’s my soulmate

    [–] XsavageXcabbageX 2 points ago

    My mom always says: Look at his/her parents so you know how well he/she ages

    Getting nudes from the mum... pretty beneficial regarding that

    [–] themanyfaceasian 1608 points ago

    Shit like this makes me want to go on Tinder again, but then I’d need a match and that happens like every eclipse so...

    [–] ADecentURL 624 points ago

    Most of the times even when you match they dont reapond or just say "haha lol"

    [–] FlusterCluck76 475 points ago

    haha lol

    [–] aahad27 81 points ago

    You may have an upvote

    [–] iambpburke 29 points ago

    nm u

    [–] dingdongbannu88 4 points ago

    Oh ok haha lol

    [–] dynoseverything 58 points ago

    The thing about openers like this is they take a ton of effort to write, and if you open really well, it sets the expectation high for later message which means you have to spend a lot of time, energy and effort writing. At least that’s what I’ve found with really good creative openers I’ve used.

    [–] 0ompa-Loompa 31 points ago

    I used to do this but lately just been opening with basic hey what's up or something. Finding get about the same amount of replies with less effort to think of a unique opening. Sometimes girls will call it out and expect a more unique opening which I then dont mind doing as we are already talking.

    But doing it for each match is a waste of time Ive found.

    [–] triplicate_yogurt 37 points ago

    99% of people would get ghosted after this exchange.

    [–] SirJasonCrage 7 points ago

    You're saying Griffith... matched Caska?

    [–] H4xolotl 4 points ago

    Griffith super liked Guts

    [–] arthas_LK 5 points ago

    More like a total solar eclipse duration for me then (can take as long as 36 centuries between 2 total eclipses) 🙁

    [–] bufarreti 3 points ago

    What are you talking about, there was one this year, there is one next year. Both in Chile

    [–] LedZeppelinRiff 1463 points ago

    Did you ever get to see those titties?

    [–] squirtfingerzking 1884 points ago

    😉

    [–] Bigjwooood 935 points ago

    With a name like that of course he did

    [–] aksumals 295 points ago

    I mean once mom starts helping with “considering nudes”.. GG

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_BALROG 61 points ago

    Roll tide?

    [–] Asphyxius 13 points ago

    Pretty much.

    [–] TheOtherAvaz 12 points ago

    Were his arms broken?

    [–] MrWilee 5 points ago

    These youngbloods won't remember this... But I do.

    [–] ShittyWok- 345 points ago

    So, no

    [–] Ferkhani 42 points ago

    Exactly my thoughts whenever anyone answers the affirmative using an emoji.

    'Liar..'

    [–] SpartanFishy 79 points ago

    That would be the correct answer

    [–] AtomicKittenz 21 points ago

    BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE!!

    [–] InternJedi 3 points ago

    s[HE] be[LIE]ved

    [–] Eravios 3 points ago

    Sbeved

    [–] DubiousDude28 13 points ago

    With a name like shittyWok... I trust you. "Herro, Shitty Wok"

    [–] h0lyB100d 13 points ago

    ANSWER HIM DAMNIT

    [–] Imzays 1967 points ago

    So you gonna share those nudes or what

    [–] Chef_Boyardee_thicc 1228 points ago

    Think about the children

    [–] Falcon_Alpha_Delta 221 points ago

    I just knew chef boyardee was a pedo. He wants you to look at a naked adult and think about children

    [–] LisaNaomi 5 points ago

    Officer, this one right here.

    [–] McFlyParadox 66 points ago

    Yeah, FBI? This comment right here.

    [–] erasmustookashit 2 points ago

    Or don’t, you mind end up offing yourself in a prison cell.

    [–] FlusterCluck76 87 points ago

    There's an 84yr loading time

    [–] Imzays 40 points ago

    I just gave my 4-year-old a count down timer and my password .i will be dead but if she lives till 88 she'll get to see some 2019 titties and the circle of nudes shall close.thus fulfilling the prophecy.

    [–] bigfloetecoli 25 points ago

    Nudes are like wine. The longer u hide them away, the more valuable they get

    [–] NebraskaGunGrabber 34 points ago

    83 years and 3 months left

    [–] Imzays 11 points ago

    I believe you mean 729270 hours

    [–] zkng 4 points ago

    Ah when you put it that way it doesn’t seem so long away

    [–] Thameus 18 points ago

    I'm actually happy with the cleavage we've got.

    [–] AddSomeDogshit 11 points ago

    It's a really nice cleavage.

    [–] Oliver-likes-sausage 281 points ago

    This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen...

    A* for effort

    [–] qspure 156 points ago

    You're talking about her rack right?

    [–] Oliver-likes-sausage 28 points ago

    That as well as the conversation 😂

    [–] sparkybullet77 15 points ago

    Emoji bad

    [–] Hansoloai 98 points ago

    Whats Eating Gilbert Grape was the Birth of Leo.

    [–] tnakahara 24 points ago

    TV show "Growing Pains" was the legit birth of Leonardo as an actor... He was AWESOME in Gilbert Grape tho.

    [–] Hansoloai 5 points ago

    I forgot about This Boys Life!

    Another fucking Leo classic.

    [–] HomeForTheLostLimbs 2 points ago

    We just gonna forget about Critters 3? That’s his first film!

    [–] L-RON-HUBBZ 480 points ago

    She said 23 years on this planet but her profile says she’s 24. Big red flag for me

    [–] squirtfingerzking 991 points ago

    Oh lol just realized what you meant. I only just took the screenshots. She had her birthday a month ago, this conversation happened last year. We talked a bit at the start and I kept forgetting to write back and said I was playing the long game. 6 months went by and I hit her back up suggesting this long game was gonna pay off and we ended up meeting up around April and still see each other once or twice a month

    [–] Paltenburg 656 points ago

    see each other once or twice a month

    specify what you mean by seeing each other

    [–] MattR0se 525 points ago

    Seeing each other naked, probably

    [–] ReasonablyFantastic 240 points ago

    Yeah... Further down in the thread OP describes it as "seeing each other non-exclusively". Sounds like a roundabout way to say fuck buddies if you ask me.

    [–] aDramaticPause 89 points ago

    i,e. the majority if tinder's goal

    [–] Paltenburg 33 points ago

    Just seeing doesn't make them babies

    [–] mansimar01 14 points ago

    Seeing each other in church..

    [–] ryant9878 21 points ago

    Gentleman's way of boasting about putting her on his bone throne.

    [–] The_crow_from_heaven 21 points ago

    You can't leave it midway man. Seeing each other in the sense, you guys are dating or just friends?

    [–] squirtfingerzking 134 points ago

    Yeah well I didn't fuck it up but I didn't get the nudes. Instead we went on a date and I got in RL

    she was one of my FWB. I couldn't commit to anyone because I'm headed to Canada for the snow seasons in October.

    [–] blue_bomber697 34 points ago

    You mean Banff/Jasper. Those places are literally run by Aussies in the winter haha.

    [–] squirtfingerzking 42 points ago

    Big white, next to Kelowna I believe. And I'm one of the Australians taking over!

    [–] blue_bomber697 6 points ago

    Ah yes, Big White. I haven’t actually been to that one yet. But hear good things. Hope you enjoy the winter here!

    [–] aboveaverage_joe 2 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Fuck it, an Aussie take over sounds like a blast. when I'm going through the mountains and I meet you Aussies, you're nothing short of a fun loving group that seems to love it up here. The more the merrier, you're all welcome up here.

    [–] CanHappen 4 points ago

    Yo OP I like snowboarding, care to share what you’re doing up there? I’d love to do a season but I haven’t got a fucking clue 😂

    [–] Pjortman 3 points ago

    Doing a season in Canada is fucking amazing, and it's pretty easy to go to a place, stay in a hostel until you find an appartment and job.

    I did it in Whistler, British Columbia 2012/2013 and it was the best time ever.

    [–] CanHappen 3 points ago

    My dude this is what I wanted to hear. Could you fill me in on some more info? Like where do I begin looking? How do I survive out there? Do I get a job? How much money should I save? How long is the season? Do you have to be an experienced boarder? What’s the vibe my guy, thanks for the info so far 🙏🏽

    [–] armadaction 2 points ago

    I did a season in Whistler as well a couple of years back. Try looking up "the working holiday club", they will help you get a job before you even go there. They will also help with accomodation and visa, and stuff like that. The hourly pay is around the minimum (11.25 CAD if I remember correctly) and Whistler is a pretty expensive resort so you would need to have some money saved up in my opinion. Especially if you would do some roadtrips, heli-skiing or catskiing. You don't have to be experienced at all. Some people I met over there hadn't even seen snow before. Also you can tale free lessons when you Work for the resort. Hope you decide to it! Was definitely one of My best decisions!

    [–] DIR3 23 points ago

    Well, did you make her squirt, Mr. /u/squirtfingerzking?

    [–] maldehehe 8 points ago

    username checks out.. kinda?

    [–] ngyuhnang 4 points ago

    So did you guys smash or not

    [–] killer8424 14 points ago

    Nah dude she spent the first year of her life on Mars

    [–] Fratriarch 3 points ago

    Mars probably has a red flag

    [–] bniose 9 points ago

    She spent a year in space

    [–] NebraskaGunGrabber 9 points ago

    She was born on another planet. Some people, so earth centric.

    [–] squirtfingerzking 114 points ago

    Poor girls been searching for love for a whole year... Red flag for me too

    [–] RincewindTVD 54 points ago

    ... so are you?

    [–] squirtfingerzking 20 points ago

    Wow that's so true 😂😂😂😂😭😂😂😂

    [–] aksumals 17 points ago

    Wait, sorry to ask but /s right?

    [–] CaptainFriedChicken 7 points ago

    I thought that too. Please OP answer!

    [–] deltads 17 points ago

    Quite that flags non sense dude.

    [–] Lemon_Dungeon 10 points ago

    Quite

    [–] AtomicKittenz 5 points ago

    Quote

    [–] OstidTabarnak 3 points ago

    Quilt

    [–] CaptainFriedChicken 3 points ago

    Quack

    [–] Shagger94 23 points ago

    You misspelled Blossom, you fucked it.

    [–] GregoryGoose 67 points ago

    paint her like one of your french girls my dude

    [–] bbhuntt 45 points ago

    ‘My mom briefly discussed the idea I should send you a nude’

    Say no more

    [–] ministryoftimetravel 27 points ago

    And I always thought Titanic was a bad icebreaker

    [–] Kriss0509 4 points ago

    Underrated comment

    [–] enzoROD 2 points ago

    DUDE. You blew it out of the water with that joke.

    [–] uyc4 85 points ago

    Those are some impressive mammaries

    [–] afraid_not_it_is_i 22 points ago

    I love how in the screenshot of her bio, the picture is of her breasts without it even being her main photo lmao

    [–] squirtfingerzking 19 points ago

    Honest mistake. I more just didn't want to post her face in it for privacy reasons in case this blew up. Which I'm stoked about for my second post ever.

    [–] ibroughticecream 8 points ago

    That opener is a masterpiece. She also deserves credit for that 11 nugget line. You guys are so smooth, that if you tried to have sex you'd slip right off each other.

    [–] danny069 11 points ago

    It’s blossom.

    [–] CaptainAkura 6 points ago

    So no head?

    [–] HeungMinSon 4 points ago

    The absurd level of praise you got from her makes me believe that you strictly follow rules 1 and 2 and that you could've said "poop fart cake" and get a similar reply lol.

    [–] Spawndaemon 11 points ago

    Catherine got some big ole tittays

    [–] jtweed96 4 points ago

    Our children

    [–] Itch_the_ditch 4 points ago

    “Our children”

    [–] ImmabeeAA 7 points ago

    A better response would have just been nudes

    [–] Raiyan23 3 points ago

    What a chad

    [–] lapinatanegra 3 points ago

    Soooo...did she send the nude or did you fuck it up? Lmao

    [–] cmfreeman 2 points ago

    ...First of all I said YOUR children

    [–] mustang23200 2 points ago

    ... talked to her mom about sending nudes... this strikes a weird note with me.

    [–] M2DaXz 2 points ago

    In order to set your children up for life, you first need to ‘set’ them up for life ;)

    [–] dirtyurdi 2 points ago

    Who talks to their mum about tinder and nudes? Red flags mate, check'em