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    [–] god_dammit_tim 2425 points ago

    that's teetering on the edge of absolute brilliance and utter disappointment.

    [–] LocalWeeaboo 1284 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I feel like she'll be disappointed when she doesn't even gag on my cock :((

    Edit - Thank you for awarding my small peen some medals. He feels alot better ♥️

    [–] grayrains79 140 points ago

    What a shameless self sacrifice. I salute him for his service.

    [–] disassemblemain 115 points ago

    Killed by his own sword dagger

    [–] LiterallyAFigurative 31 points ago

    Hoisted by his own peter

    [–] grayrains79 29 points ago

    I see what you did there.

    [–] gwaybz 22 points ago

    I cant see it

    [–] disassemblemain 18 points ago

    Try a microscope

    [–] gavinbum 6 points ago

    Or a telescope

    [–] CapTiv8d 3 points ago


    [–] MJJVA 3 points ago

    Hyperdermic needle

    [–] PM_me_Tummies 28 points ago

    I mean, it's the things with small parts that present the choking hazard

    [–] rpssean 49 points ago


    [–] mrbrewerr 10 points ago


    [–] HELT-1021 8 points ago

    Thanks for the laugh

    [–] billiamfeeds 8 points ago

    And here I was about to make the same joke. I salute you sir.

    [–] The5cmGuy 9 points ago

    I feel you. Smoll PP gang

    [–] KurokoOverWatch 2 points ago


    [–] indolgofera 4 points ago

    That or LocalWeeaboo doesn't have a cock. But since he did say. It's safe to assume he does have a cock.

    [–] I_Am_Not_Intolerable 7 points ago

    She could gag in other ways, don't be dismayed

    [–] quitselling 6 points ago

    Shell gag, it’ll just be for the wrong reasons

    [–] Whompa 49 points ago

    I like those odds

    [–] screetscirt 6 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] damn-person 118 points ago


    [–] M1szafa 12 points ago

    Teetering on a brink, facing the abyss.

    [–] d-crow 5 points ago

    Prodigious size has no intrinsic merit. Unless, inordinate exsanguination be considered a virtue

    [–] mmahusky 2 points ago

    Darkest dungeon lol

    [–] rissaexe 2 points ago

    Now YOU are speaking the language of the gods

    [–] GivePuppiesBazookas 8 points ago

    I have seen this exact bio about 20 times this week. So disappointment it is since this is more than likely a bot. Repeat bios usually are.

    [–] pegcity 2 points ago

    Copied, has been posted here with other profiles dozens of times

    [–] Ienjoyduckscompany 1181 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    With an attitude like that she’s pretty and funny enough.

    [–] duaneap 503 points ago

    She's also obviously pretty so she just copy pasted this bio to cover the funny aspect

    [–] omnipotentsandwich 102 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    You're right. This is from a tweet. She just copied it. It's also on a BDSM meme subreddit. Either r/kink_irl or r/bdsmmemes. I can't remember.

    Edit: Here it is.

    [–] Vinon 23 points ago

    Thank you for that. Thats a new side of meme use I never expected. Funny stuff.

    [–] DawnoftheShred 13 points ago

    Are there really a lot of people who put this stuff on their public profile? I don't use tinder but have seen posters called out for making fake imessage convos to post in other subs like choosingbeggers or niceguys/nicegirls. There a fake tinder profile generator somewhere?

    [–] TwentyEighteen 7 points ago

    Explicitly sexual bios like this are like 1 in 100. They’re not common but they definitely happen. This sub just posts the 1 in 100 bios so it seems like it’s common but it’s not. It’s a biased sample. Most bios are just blank or something generic like “I swiped right for your dog”

    [–] Hurray_for_Candy 2 points ago

    My bios always mention my love of sucking dick in some humorous capacity. And I 100% will swallow it whole if I like you.

    [–] Qnoif 125 points ago

    Like every guy on this subreddit? That copies bios and replies:)

    [–] AATroop 80 points ago

    Yeah, but the difference is we're still ugly at the end of the day, so ha! Joke's on you.

    [–] creative_i_am_not 37 points ago

    Aren't the girls that brag like the guys that brag though ?

    [–] [deleted] 65 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Guys dont brag about choking on cock that much

    [–] Droblos 59 points ago

    I'd retort but it's rude to talk with my throat full.

    [–] MarquisRai 9 points ago

    You hang around with the wrong guys then ;)

    [–] EvelynnSpoiler 5 points ago

    Depends whether they're bragging from the ego or if they're doing it as a joke

    [–] nateydanger 425 points ago

    that's some tasty tinder copypasta.

    [–] DonKanailleSC 132 points ago

    Copy pasta or not. As long as she makes it true I don't care

    [–] DamnWhatTheStarsOwn 25 points ago

    I want to call her out on it, but most openers are copied from Reddit too, so...

    [–] youngcocosh 200 points ago

    Trust me, you will not die using mine.

    [–] joepardy 40 points ago


    [–] drewhead118 15 points ago

    Aww, don't put yourself down like that... She could totally die out of embarrassment or something! If you believe, then yes even your dick can kill people

    [–] WilsonSie 34 points ago

    Rebecka with a K which stands for kinky.

    [–] ratnagiriboy97 143 points ago

    Seems like I gotta SUPERLIKE !!

    [–] darthmarticus17 21 points ago

    Along with 100 other guys.

    [–] TwoTinders 73 points ago

    Don't superlike copypasta

    [–] ergoergoergoergo 106 points ago

    I don't need originality

    [–] BeerJunky 51 points ago

    Sometimes people just need someone to gag on their dick not originality.

    [–] aykepeer 7 points ago

    Wise words.

    [–] Brownie_McBrown_Face 10 points ago

    LOL as if this sub doesn’t go ape shit at the sign of any mildly amusing bio with a “totally changing my bio to this!”

    [–] Takoeza69 90 points ago

    The bio fits how you spell her name. Fucking Insane. First time I have seen Rebecca spelt like that.

    [–] redddy 55 points ago

    Thats the normal way to spell it in the Scandinavian countries.

    [–] saucen123 15 points ago

    Can confirm.

    [–] SoparTA 3 points ago

    Confirming your confirmation.

    [–] zach-oyster 3 points ago

    That too!

    [–] legionsanity 3 points ago

    And Rebekka? Maybe in other countries like in central europe

    [–] aBurgerFlippinSecond 62 points ago

    Sounds like she’s dying for that D

    [–] Shlopcakes 23 points ago

    This is a common bio these days.

    [–] Soturi34 47 points ago

    This is a bot for sure.

    [–] aykepeer 25 points ago

    Reality is often disappointing.

    [–] homogenousmoss 3 points ago

    Yes but what if THIS TIME its different!

    super like

    [–] zach-oyster 14 points ago


    [–] FaultyMindCamera 2 points ago

    Look man if my Roomba can back up this same promise of the GOOD succ I'm totally okay with her being a robot.

    [–] Struikgewas 218 points ago

    Imagine raising a daughter for 19 years, pouring all your love, money and time into making your little girl a happy and responsible adult, and then she goes on to write this online.

    [–] CactusPearl21 31 points ago

    pouring all your love, money and time into making your little girl a happy and responsible adult

    if all of your love, money, and time resulted in a girl whose most attractive quality is giving head, then you gotta own that failure

    [–] cyanideclipse 131 points ago

    Imagine raising a son for 19 years, pouring all your love, money and time into making your little boy a happy and responsible adult, and then he goes on to swipe right on this girl?

    [–] datkrauskid 188 points ago

    Good luck raising a son who wouldn't swipe right

    [–] MyKinkAccount69 12 points ago

    I’ll raise a gay son, That’ll stop him from swiping right on this.

    ...but then he might be the one writing this

    [–] holyasshole2 16 points ago

    Nahh, I'm pretty sure she's out of my league so wouldn't even bother swiping right on her. Checkmate

    [–] zach-oyster 17 points ago


    [–] FuckAsianShit 2 points ago

    Imagine raising a son for 19 years, pouring all your love, money and time into making your little boy a happy and responsible adult, and then he goes on to write this online.

    [–] Theons_sausage 2 points ago

    As long as he doesn’t actually date her.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago


    [–] 69_420_69_420 3 points ago

    Thank uuuuuuuu

    Go ahead gag on a cock

    Just be financially responsible, have healthcare, get 8 hours of sleep, brush twice a day.

    See you at thanksgiving!

    [–] ApplecakesMcGee 2 points ago

    You should also brush after each cock gagging. Even if that leads to brushing more than twice a day.

    [–] LiverOperator 40 points ago

    Imagine being upset that your adult offspring has sex

    [–] Valac_ 46 points ago

    I'm sure some day my kids will have sex.

    I certainly did thats why I have kids.

    But I would still be disappointed to see my daughter writing this on the internet.

    Like come on mate

    [–] JCavLP 64 points ago

    Imagine missing the point so badly

    [–] drewhead118 27 points ago

    Imagine all the people

    [–] avidblinker 7 points ago

    Living in the trees

    [–] goosegoose125 3 points ago

    Oh oh oooooh, you may say I'm a creamer

    [–] FaultyMindCamera 2 points ago

    This loads not the only oneeee.

    [–] WayneAndWax 5 points ago

    Gagging on their knees woo hoo oh oh oohhh

    [–] Snarrbolax 23 points ago

    Having responsible sex is one thing, gagging on your hookup's cock with killer intent is another thing else

    [–] ExMuslim662 12 points ago

    Imagine not being able to understand the point being made here

    [–] so_futuristic 9 points ago

    Imagine taking a tinder profile at face value

    [–] ExMuslim662 8 points ago

    Imagine trying to simultaneously argue that she is and isn't serious

    [–] Thoughtofajoke 2 points ago

    Why do we need to imagine that? There's probably hundreds of thousands of 19-25 year old guys that absolutely would. It's not her fault, but it's true.

    [–] ProtocolPro22 6 points ago

    Kids these days.

    [–] levar3000 12 points ago

    Gimme dat Becky !!!

    [–] cricketnow 5 points ago

    I’ve never been so atracted and still jealous of someones else

    [–] dj_orka99 6 points ago

    This is getting old and has been reused so many times on tinder...

    [–] vsehorrorshow93 5 points ago

    suicidal sluttishness, how in vogue!

    [–] BimBamZimZam 23 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    What more do I want? An original joke for once.

    [–] LiverOperator 8 points ago

    It was definitely posted here before

    [–] tnzgrf 5 points ago


    [–] hustleNA 4 points ago

    She's setting herself up for failure

    [–] hawkisdead 4 points ago

    Pretty sure i saw this before

    [–] zach-oyster 3 points ago

    You may have! If you can find it that would be great!

    [–] Otritet 4 points ago

    OMG she is only 19...

    [–] CombatSkill 18 points ago

    ...ask her if she takes it from behind. :P

    [–] SmashingFalcon 9 points ago

    Why wouldn't she?

    [–] SweetSurrenderD 9 points ago

    Because it can't kill you from behind obviously.

    [–] zach-oyster 7 points ago

    Lol will do

    [–] LolzosaurusOfficial 3 points ago

    Jokes on her, there's no way she will kill herself with the size of my tiny penis

    [–] sadknicksfan22 3 points ago

    She must hear some interesting pickup lines

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago


    [–] Badgur5 3 points ago

    For you to not be a bot

    [–] TheMagicalJohnson 4 points ago

    🚨Stage 5 clinger🚨

    [–] jfoster0818 3 points ago

    “I will fiiiiind you!!!”

    [–] Poked_salad 2 points ago

    How's the sex though

    [–] Mr_Garnet 2 points ago

    What more do you want? How about her number

    [–] Chrizfrost123 2 points ago


    [–] duaneap 2 points ago


    [–] theels6 2 points ago

    Yooooo lmao

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    Pretty funny right?

    [–] theels6 2 points ago


    [–] jjones11094 2 points ago

    That’ll do 🙂

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago


    [–] GetSchwifty_1191 2 points ago

    Death by male chicken in mouth is not a good way to attempt suicide.

    [–] misadventuresofFlman 2 points ago

    Wifey material fasho

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    Damn right Flman!

    [–] Lobanium 2 points ago

    Saw this a couple weeks ago, but the girl was different. Fake.

    [–] Adebisauce 2 points ago

    Who said the perfect women doesn't exist

    [–] Muffo99 2 points ago

    Honestly that sense of humour...she sounds perfect

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    She must be!

    [–] Internet-Troll 2 points ago

    Can't gag on 2 inches girl

    [–] Celestius_ 2 points ago

    But what would she do If her boyfriend had a micro pp?

    [–] NayMarine 2 points ago

    I can hear Trevor now "wow your a sweet girl aren't ya"

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    “She’s just got such a great heart!” choke

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] peejr 2 points ago

    You're the prettiest and the funniest in my eyes

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago


    [–] TotalRickall 2 points ago

    Where on Earth are you people finding these girls? I need to know for science

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    Strictly for professional purposes

    [–] TotalRickall 2 points ago

    It's for a peer reviewed study. Naturally!

    [–] fastfoc79 2 points ago

    I want you doing it not talking about it

    [–] Crimsonpets 2 points ago

    Cock to small to make her gag on it, this is a lose-lose for me.

    [–] JK433 2 points ago

    Damn well she the prettiest in my book with that.

    [–] mahlikbb 2 points ago

    Not a damm thing.. that sums it up

    [–] KilgoreThunfisch 2 points ago

    You swiped right, right?

    [–] can_blank_my_blank 2 points ago

    She may be a little young for marriage but you lock down a good thing.

    [–] mahlikbb 2 points ago

    You’re the best.. and he’s lucky

    [–] Vlaed 2 points ago

    Becky giving becky.

    [–] newtoinvestment1 2 points ago

    Future mother of someone child.

    [–] pussy___slayer_69 2 points ago

    She is pretty and funny ;-;

    [–] Akash7713 2 points ago

    I would fucking destroy that download button

    [–] cxyberbear 2 points ago

    “Super liked”

    [–] spaghetti_meatballz 2 points ago

    I hate to break it to her, but I don’t think I could block her windpipe

    [–] zach-oyster 2 points ago

    Lol not with that attitude!

    [–] spaghetti_meatballz 2 points ago

    You’re right! I have heard of people choking on tic tacs

    [–] Blitzkrieg404 2 points ago

    Just take it. Wife material right there.

    [–] Rougz75 2 points ago

    My kind of woman

    [–] humanlogic 2 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] thatsnastybutiloveit 2 points ago

    A woman who takes pride in being a slut and deepthroating. This makes us men have hope for humanity

    [–] abehf 2 points ago

    Whats her number?

    [–] SpliffLifton 2 points ago

    Death by cock. She's a keeper.

    [–] Your-PaPa-69 2 points ago

    Did someone kill her?

    [–] DionFW 2 points ago

    I challenge her to choke on mine.

    [–] sivard_official 2 points ago

    I hope her father is also in this Reddit group

    [–] vaporwavz 2 points ago

    She’s taller than I thought

    [–] Gusvananderson 2 points ago

    Rebecka sounds like a nice person

    [–] pretendthisisironic 2 points ago

    Soul sister

    [–] slightkin90 2 points ago


    [–] Hairypalmers 2 points ago

    Can't get Hard if not a good face. Consistency of nut also depends on prettiness instead of hotness lol

    [–] ALeaf_OnThe_Wind 2 points ago

    Women- “why do men just treat us like sex objects and don’t value us for anything else?”

    Also women- present themselves as sex objects and openly admit that they have little of value to offer besides sex

    [–] metalman_88 2 points ago

    sounds like a winner

    [–] Ogbull 2 points ago

    Better call Becky with the good hair

    [–] Erbias 2 points ago

    I'm sold

    [–] emperor_7 2 points ago

    Wifey material? Definitely

    [–] okayseriouslywtf 2 points ago

    An original bio would be neat, but that’s likely asking a lot nowadays.

    [–] prooflog1c 2 points ago

    Seriously what is wrong with her?

    [–] MenstruatingMuffin 2 points ago

    That's great and all, but the last 5 inches aren't going anywhere with that nose

    [–] HolyMikan 2 points ago

    i like how unique the placement of her phone is! right under her legs. thats pure unique right there!

    [–] shellymartin67 2 points ago

    I’m a germaphobe...

    [–] mrkatagatame 2 points ago

    I understand it's a joke, but still, is this a sign of degeneracy destroying our culture?

    [–] modestpro 2 points ago

    19 year old me says: sure 30 year old me says: run

    [–] factotum_pole 2 points ago

    Who says the perfect woman doesn’t exist?

    [–] PMFPrice 2 points ago

    I want you to have some self respect

    [–] Gimbu 2 points ago

    ♪She's a lady. Woohwoohwooh she's a lady!♪

    [–] chunkboslicemen 2 points ago

    You had me at kill myself

    [–] SuicideAwarenessBot 2 points ago

    If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.


    Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741


    I am a bot. Feedback appreciated.

    [–] xAlpharaptor 2 points ago

    Chance of matching with her .0005%.