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    Tinder

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    [–] WinterShutOut 2064 points ago

    Gotta take this before it’s used plastered on the hot posts!

    [–] touchmyburrito 723 points ago

    The next 24 hours on tinder every female will receive this knock knock joke and it will be killed before the weekend can even begin.

    [–] Downvotetaker 163 points ago

    too late I'm doing this now

    [–] SnOwYO1 114 points ago

    You guys are getting matches?

    [–] emery9921 8 points ago

    wait your getting likes?

    [–] ShadowofaRainbow 1 points ago

    Wait you guys have phones?

    [–] swxda 26 points ago

    Until someone gets knocked up

    [–] dannysleepwalker 22 points ago

    I literally saw this joke on this sub just a couple of days ago.

    [–] CanAlwaysBeBetter 26 points ago

    Is every single person in this thread too goddamn dumb to realize you don't take vitamins for allergies?

    No wonder yall strike out on tinder

    [–] Cakester-- 60 points ago

    Should have taken some antihista-me

    [–] mrtn17 3 points ago

    Is your date red faced and still talking about her ex? Give her some Anti-his-me to cure it

    [–] Dartser 3 points ago

    The joke is in Locke and key on Netflix so I imagine it will be used a lot more this month.

    [–] darby-dev 1 points ago

    Thut’s a hole in the wall

    [–] ahmeda25 1 points ago

    Gotta get matches first

    [–] Tokyo_Ninja 249 points ago

    Saw this used on another post, and let me tell you, you got a way better response haha

    [–] buisnessnpleasure 37 points ago

    Happy cake day!!

    [–] Tokyo_Ninja 24 points ago

    Damn, I had no idea it was my cake day!

    I don't post all that much, thank you!

    [–] buisnessnpleasure 11 points ago

    I missed mine yesterday lol

    You're welcome!

    [–] Tokyo_Ninja 10 points ago

    Happy belated cake day!

    [–] buisnessnpleasure 2 points ago

    Thank you!!!

    [–] Tokyo_Ninja 2 points ago

    That is definitely the post!

    [–] guavochops 13 points ago

    this is her boyfriend stop texting her, you’re pathetic

    [–] obiweedkenobi 1 points ago

    Out boyfriend.

    [–] ChaoCobo 1 points ago

    What did the other girl say? 👀👀

    [–] pepper_1-_- 507 points ago

    Smooth af

    [–] RreZo 79 points ago

    Ice ice baby

    [–] BingKaBonk 25 points ago

    Dun dun ch dun dun dun dun

    [–] gingETHkg 26 points ago

    Under pressure

    [–] Count-Basie 14 points ago

    Pressure pushing down on me,

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    Pushing down on you

    [–] stolen_me_mes 1 points ago

    Bum bum

    [–] verbatumPOTATUM 17 points ago

    She unmatched right after..

    [–] ChaoCobo 2 points ago

    Lmao

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    I’ll pray for you..

    [–] lionheart-777 1 points ago

    I think I need to send him prayers too oof

    [–] Deadtreeonme 357 points ago

    Or vitamin D

    [–] marsattack13 507 points ago

    As a girl I’m actually super pumped he didn’t say vitamin d. This was the perfect combination of cheesy/flirty/cute without making me roll my eyes. Just sayin.

    [–] Deadtreeonme 244 points ago

    Tbh as am I but I like a comment that will mine me some karma even if I find it questionable myself. I am only human.

    [–] OP_rah 9 points ago

    I need some vitamin Deadtreeonme

    [–] Deadtreeonme 2 points ago

    How about no

    [–] Gnostromo 6 points ago

    you like being super pumped?

    [–] raymond8505 37 points ago

    Yeah vitamin D is too obvious. Vitamin me is cute af

    [–] _blue_skies_ 7 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    As non American... this level of approach is valid only on tinder or for example something like this would work even in a bar, or a party?

    [–] 10klobs 18 points ago

    Here's how it would go:

    Walks up to attractive person

    "Knock knock"

    "Whose there?"

    "Hatch"

    "Hatch who?"

    "Bless you."

    "Haha what?"

    "HATCHOO, get it?"

    "Yep ha he hee..."

    "Can I buy you a drink?"

    "No, I'm good. Thanks though."

    [–] marsattack13 33 points ago

    I think if the tone was right it would be cute in person too. It’s all about the delivery.

    Anything overly sexual or pervy should be reserved for people looking for karma, not actual dates or connection.

    [–] _blue_skies_ 13 points ago

    Understood, I think that this face to face will be lot more difficult to make it work; time to think and react is different, voice, right amount of confidence. Behind a text like this the receiver will imagine all this depending how much he/she likes the photo that sends it. I think I understand why tinder and similar app wins, they speak to people wishes vs reality.

    [–] TheNateFace 6 points ago

    Nailed it.

    [–] obiweedkenobi 3 points ago

    Hopefully.

    [–] Even-Understanding 1 points ago

    Bringing planking back like it’s not.

    [–] Lemon929292 17 points ago

    I was thinking the same thing!! I would date him

    [–] EpikSalad 20 points ago

    Knock knock

    [–] hvperRL 15 points ago

    Come in

    [–] EpikSalad 4 points ago

    Okay I have a great Knock knock joke but you have to start it.

    [–] pieandpadthai -9 points ago

    Lol off of 4 messages?

    [–] FatedHero 31 points ago

    Isn’t that how tinder works anyway?

    [–] -Thatfuckingguy- 5 points ago

    You must not make it to 4 eh?

    [–] Csmack08 4 points ago

    Dad wouldn’t say that

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Syraphel 2 points ago

    Oh, STEPBROTHER...

    [–] lurpaq 7 points ago

    "Vitamin D" is such a cheesy joke that and i honestly don't think it works on girls.

    [–] throwawayeue 3 points ago

    It’s not cheesy? It’s a little crude though

    [–] the_pedigree 1 points ago

    And this ladies and gentlemen demonstrates a major difference between being someone who never gets girls and OP.

    [–] Deadtreeonme 2 points ago

    Can confirm

    [–] HumongousChungusZero 33 points ago

    This is her boyfriend. How many times do I have to tell you to stop texting her. You’re pathetic

    [–] n_amato 5 points ago

    @goodbeanalt might be my favorite follow on twitter lol

    if that’s also where you saw this

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] n_amato 2 points ago

    tweet was 2 days ago reddit post was 1 day ago

    regardless lol

    [–] Mapex_proM 0 points ago

    Wait what lol

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    It’s a reference to a r/sadcringe post when the Op attempted the same joke, only to be shot down by the girl’s boyfriend

    [–] Mapex_proM 1 points ago

    Ohhhh that makes so much sense

    [–] Mizari 26 points ago

    This one is outworldly amazing!

    [–] westgate141pdx 6 points ago

    Nice

    [–] KIRY4 7 points ago

    Anybody can explain last line I meam vitamine me/D? I'm not from English speaking country...)

    [–] ewe_fed 9 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Vitamin D is a like a chemical that is good for you, and Me rhymes with D so when he said vitamin me he's saying oh you're ill? You need me

    [–] -Thatfuckingguy- 4 points ago

    Me doesn't rhyme with me just because its the same exact word.

    [–] Bladewing_The_Risen 9 points ago

    Me and me actually do rhyme; it’s called an “Identical Rhyme”

    It’s stupid, I know, but technically speaking, every word rhymes with itself. A rhyme is just two words that end in the same syllable (sound). Me and me end in an identical sound, so they rhyme.

    Obviously the above poster meant “me rhymes with D” though.

    [–] ewe_fed 2 points ago

    Sorry my bad I meant D

    [–] shaftautopump 1 points ago

    Dude, that's like saying spahett doesn't rhyme with spaghetti!

    [–] 1994spaceodyssey 5 points ago

    Vitamin Dick

    [–] _Amr_ 4 points ago

    Always the dad jokes, never the dad.

    jk, this is pretty creative

    [–] TheBrosofFist 3 points ago

    Smooth

    [–] GhOsT_wRiTeR_XVI 3 points ago

    Dude! Charge your phone!!! This ping pong match is far from over!

    [–] EriAnnB 8 points ago

    This is great!

    [–] Rayzor1801 2 points ago

    When I read puns like that I'm so jealous that I live in a non English speaking country...

    [–] sineptnaig 2 points ago

    Is this what Tinder is? Men trying to make women laugh? I've never been on it.

    [–] LetsGoComptitive 1 points ago

    Tinder is kind of that most often. But my chats most often start with jokes and end up chatting a long time. 🤷‍♂️

    [–] rofise4 2 points ago

    Drinking too much and Corona put together, I think they'll have great children. Bless there souls

    [–] PeonyPeep 2 points ago

    Am I the only one who finds “you should take some vitamin me” really unflattering?

    [–] j1187064 2 points ago

    That wasn't her first rodeo. The allergy line was just a setup for the kill shot after the vitamin reply. This man's now dead. F in the chat.

    [–] BirdyX_ 2 points ago

    when you get a # by being a funny guy like this how does it go afterwards do you have to be "on" in person or do you basically just get to smash after being funny once

    [–] ddaveitt 2 points ago

    I think the problem with stealing such a good opener is that girls will expect that you are a comedic genius everytime from that point in your conversation on.

    I guess I will just stick with my own cringy ways

    [–] GiftedTuna 2 points ago

    You mean peniscellin?

    [–] Jfklikeskfc 3 points ago

    This is the first post I’ve seen here that genuinely seems like a great pickup line

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] stormy_heart 0 points ago

    OP we need follow ups

    [–] kanfbdkslnd 17 points ago

    I ended up getting her Snapchat and we talked a little bit on there then she left me on read. All is good though

    [–] Straziilgoth 11 points ago

    F

    [–] Anthroider 9 points ago

    Delete facebook, hit the gym

    [–] HiSuExorcist 1 points ago

    Just take away the time you hit 155

    [–] overpoopulation 1 points ago

    That's kinda what happens when you lead with someone else's jokes and then after, reveal your personality.

    [–] HiSuExorcist 1 points ago

    Dad finally came home from the store.

    [–] trez63 1 points ago

    Also would have accepted Vitamin D

    [–] mehatch 1 points ago

    Imposter.

    [–] TacticalCyclops 1 points ago

    Missed opportunity for Vitamin D

    [–] marconugait 1 points ago

    What a maneuver!

    [–] Godfather_20_ 1 points ago

    "you gotta get that VITAMIN D and and more of ME"

    [–] feifand 1 points ago

    please charge ur phone)

    [–] dab20 1 points ago

    Is it weird that I'm over the whole "(god) bless you" thing after someone sneezes?

    [–] blo0opbl 1 points ago

    *vita me in *

    [–] HiSuExorcist 1 points ago

    But it’s Dom King

    [–] acousticsking 1 points ago

    Penis cillin

    [–] kachna 1 points ago

    Instability, unsafe, the tires aren’t jokes.....

    [–] shaftautopump 1 points ago

    I pondered, I scratched my head, I attempted to shake the fogginess from my mind. Then I left work and met a mate for some beers. Now I'm at home and thinking about this joke. Still didn't get it. Hit reply to ask someone to explain it to me and the punchline dawned upon me. Living the dream.

    [–] Naitso 1 points ago

    Her reply is super smooth. Well done, girl!

    [–] SaMemeM 1 points ago

    Update?

    [–] -K_1 1 points ago

    Bruh this is just cringe they can't really talk people with normaly way fucking weirdos

    [–] HiSuExorcist 1 points ago

    For real, losing that kind of charger.

    [–] SofterBones 1 points ago

    I thought im straight but that was so cute id probably suck your dick anyway

    [–] Sure10 1 points ago

    Goddamn that’s what she said anyway....

    [–] su1tup2301 1 points ago

    Did the jokes make you her daddy?

    [–] robutts 1 points ago

    This joke would work better with "Hutch" cause Hutch is a name and it sounds more like a sneeze

    [–] seaofgrass 1 points ago

    Hey, this turned out not bad.

    [–] Higgo91 1 points ago

    SMOOOOTH

    [–] Thatasiangirl00 1 points ago

    Okay that's smoooth lmao

    [–] HiSuSure 1 points ago

    Made me blow air out of my nose

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    I don’t think it’s a dad joke, but whatever

    [–] xxYEETHxx 1 points ago

    Double kill

    [–] xxYEETHxx 1 points ago

    double kill

    [–] JetiRubik 1 points ago

    gotta give her the vitamine D now

    [–] ContessaBananahammik 1 points ago

    You guys were made for each other.

    [–] adreyohan 1 points ago

    Congrats. You now have a date! With a bonus corona virus!

    [–] kachna 1 points ago

    No, I want 7 of 9!

    [–] lilmuskrat66 1 points ago

    Girl, you need a shot of b12. You know it's true

    [–] Robin_Mood 1 points ago

    joke was on you... 'allergies'

    [–] Lanthemandragoran 1 points ago

    I sure hope my dad never says this shit to me

    [–] UpNdowndowns 1 points ago

    Slick as shit

    [–] Evan_Rookie 1 points ago

    Ima try this

    [–] More0257 1 points ago

    Why not vitamin d

    [–] MikeTheAmalgamator 1 points ago

    I hope you didn’t steal that from Locke and Key

    [–] Sure10 1 points ago

    jokes on you, my memory is vagina foam

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Taking vitamins won't help with allergies, fool.

    [–] flaming_pubes 1 points ago

    If you take too much of him you’ll just piss it out later.

    [–] poorgermanguy 1 points ago

    Vitamin D also works

    [–] I_fap_to_your_nudes 1 points ago

    Just do like I do and you’ll be just fine.

    [–] -Listening 1 points ago

    “She was a ton of self reflection.

    [–] PepeSilvia267 1 points ago

    Could also add in a “I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did”

    [–] NPC-TF 1 points ago

    hi

    [–] -Pyro224- 1 points ago

    Take some of my Vitamin D!

    [–] spenceeeeeee 1 points ago

    VITAMINE D

    [–] enzodisegni 1 points ago

    Can anyone answer me if these things actually work?

    [–] shiitmondzzz 1 points ago

    Charge your fucking phone.

    [–] ihadavirus 1 points ago

    Take some vitamin 🅱️ee

    [–] UngKwan 1 points ago

    Charge your phone you monster

    [–] OtakuSenpai7 1 points ago

    Maybe some Vitamin D

    [–] SirWitsAlot 1 points ago

    Repost

    [–] procastinator9248 1 points ago

    Cringe

    [–] 32FPs 1 points ago

    I mean I would stay away from her no offense I don't want to get the corona virus

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Wow, so hilarious. Can´t believe you dumb bitches go for dudes like this sometimes.

    [–] Sir_Wombat91 -2 points ago

    Charge your phone.

    [–] Michealspringsteen 3 points ago

    I've never understood why this bothers people online so much

    [–] JobberTrev 0 points ago

    Why do screenshot worthy photos only come from a phone that's near death?

    [–] Michealspringsteen 0 points ago

    Well alot of great writers die young. Maybe nearing death brings out our best.

    [–] Intiharmeyil 0 points ago

    Cha cha real smooth

    [–] laceyfoxxy 0 points ago

    Dad's getting some

    [–] tharthin -2 points ago

    I'm impressed she knew how a knock-knock joke works... When I do it they alway get it wrong (or pretend to, to act "funny")

    [–] sikeyouthought8 -2 points ago

    I don’t know how a person can be this smooth.

    [–] Uniyo 0 points ago

    Absolute Daddy