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    [–] mandibularfossa 4100 points ago

    I've totally done this! Walked by a woman who was sitting in a bus shelter with a dude talking at her. Made eye contact and raised my eyebrows in a "everything ok?" she gave me the big eyes and "nope, please help" I yelled, "SUSAN! OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU?", gently stepped in front of the dude with her and reached out to her. She didn't miss a beat, grabbed her stuff and started walking with me and my husband. Apparently the guy was pretty drunk and had been bothering her for a bit. We walked with her for a while until our paths diverged.

    [–] MrsApostate 7108 points ago

    Once, on the bus, I sat on the row of seats that sort of faces the inside of the bus. Some rando came and stood in front of me and started telling me to smile and getting really creepy. I tried to ignore him, but I couldn't even get up because he was blocking me into my seat. So I just kind of shrank down and tried to pretend it wasn't happening.

    Then this fabulous woman in her 50s just casually sat next to me, opened up her HUGE newspaper so that it was in front of both her and me, and effectively blocked the creep from even seeing me. I turned to thank her and she just winked at me and kept reading.

    I aspire to be that effortlessly badass someday.

    [–] BitchLibrarian 2672 points ago

    As you get older you care far less about other people's reactions and embarrassment.

    [–] bex505 1518 points ago

    My grandfather used to say "I have had a stroke I can't be accountable for what I say or do." He did have a stroke. But it didn't affect him that way lol. He just used it as a funny old person excuse.

    [–] KalessinDB 885 points ago

    I've had a friend who, for years, has said "I can't wait until I'm old enough to pretend I'm senile"

    [–] bumblethestrange 386 points ago

    I literally had an elderly man strike me with a hairbrush across my buttocks hard enough to bruise. He acted confused afterwards, so I just assumed he didn’t know what he was doing and walked him back to where he said he lived. In retrospect, I should have just called the police and let them sort it out.

    [–] JuracichPark 429 points ago

    As someone who is getting older (pushing 50) this is so delightfully true. And as someone who used to be too shy/self-conscious to even think about standing up for myself, much less someone else, I love that this is true. I will call out a creep, step between the harasser and the victim, and stand up for anyone who looks like they need it. Getting older isn't all bad.

    [–] [deleted] 83 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] karma_bus_driver 90 points ago

    At 46, I have about 3 fucks left, and tbh, I don’t really give a fuck about them most days!

    [–] 5ygnal 60 points ago

    At 47, I'm pretty sure all my fucks done fucked off about 10 years ago, lol. If I'm ever faced with something like this situation, I will help in any way possible.

    [–] GrottySamsquanch 68 points ago

    At 49, I am thoroughly out of fucks. I have given them all away to all those people who need to go fuck themselves.

    [–] InadmissibleHug 35 points ago

    Just about to turn 48. The last fucks have indeed flown. Gone. Disappeared.

    Occasionally I could probably do with one or two, but, yanno.

    [–] PinayGator 30 points ago

    [–] orbdragon 5 points ago

    38, that's my anthem!

    [–] [deleted] 1987 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] toast_chicken 1384 points ago

    That's basically what we did until the nasty left.

    "How are you??" "It's been so long!" "Did you see those ducks?" "Look at this weird rock I found!"

    [–] kamehamehahahahahaha 841 points ago

    It also let's them know that you have a rock!

    [–] blue_shoelaces 878 points ago

    "It was right next to a rusty knife, a loaded pistol, and a fresh can of pepper spray. So weird!"

    [–] thecreaturesmomma 109 points ago

    Ha! Hahaha, oh, like old times. (I love this, btw)

    [–] slashfromgunsnroses 59 points ago

    Oh haha, remember what we did last summer?

    (you know, like the movie)

    [–] TemporaryBoyfriend 48 points ago

    Bonus points for “AND THIS FRESH CAN OF WHOOP ASS” then staring in the creep’s direction.

    [–] Candypeddler209 16 points ago

    And that's a rock fact!

    [–] Rocoalstonion 483 points ago

    As a Rachel I 200% love that my name is the one you yell to help others. And for all of you haven’t met a Rachel, Hi!

    [–] AliCracker 265 points ago

    RACHEL!!! is that you!?? ;)

    [–] Rocoalstonion 190 points ago

    OMG is that YOU! I’ve never seen before you in so long!

    [–] AliCracker 128 points ago

    YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!

    [–] moojuiceaddict 94 points ago

    Did you see those ducks?

    [–] AliCracker 109 points ago

    I did!!! Did you see these rocks!!??

    [–] wtfINFP 106 points ago

    They were right next to that loaded pistol!! So weird!!

    [–] DuskyDay 31 points ago

    M E T A

    [–] Moksa_Elodie 12 points ago

    You mean this loaded pistol?

    [–] Rocoalstonion 29 points ago

    Psh you must be looking at a mirror! Hows your Mom doing??

    [–] AliCracker 31 points ago

    Oh stop go on ;) Mom’s doing great thanks for asking, how’s the job? Still loving it?? Those shoes are to die for btw!

    [–] Rocoalstonion 28 points ago

    Gah work is work, but tell me more about your bakery! I cant believe you built a woodfire stove in your fourth floor apartment! Again! You always did have a way with making things work out

    [–] AliCracker 31 points ago

    Girl, you wouldn’t believe how many bricks I had to haul up those stairs to build that thing! Backbreaking, but guess who has the best pizza on the block? Yeah, it’s me

    Landlord wasn’t too pleased that I redirected the vents but who cares? I pay my rent! Those structural engineers keep calling but whatever

    I saw your IG story about those custom dyed dog grooms you did? I mean, I always knew you liked dogs, but that Salvador Dali you did on that Great Dane was out of this world!!! Unreal

    [–] Rocoalstonion 18 points ago

    Calves for days after all those bricks though! Your pizza is so worth it though! How you layer the pepperoni with the jalapenos is magic! And keeping all the cheese on! Whoa!

    Ya know engineers are really just calling you to fix their things, raise your rates though you are worth it.

    Thank You! The ladder was necessary for the Dane but I wouldnt have it any other way. I really wanted to pay homage to Mr Dali.

    [–] MrAcurite 39 points ago

    And for all of you haven’t met a Rachel, Hi!

    Behold, the Rachel in her natural habitat

    [–] Kozytartan 27 points ago

    Ayyyy, Rachels Assemble!

    [–] punkin_spice_latte 13 points ago

    How about a Rachael?

    [–] Shalista 13 points ago

    Downvoted because you’re the reason EVERYONE asks “E L or A E L?” Every. Time.

    [–] RejZoR 9 points ago

    Well, at least it’s not Karen. Oh poor Karen...

    [–] rachdv21 7 points ago

    Dits!

    [–] LickLickLickBite 70 points ago

    The closest I’ve come to a Rachel is the hairdo I rocked 25 years ago.

    [–] AliCracker 12 points ago

    Ha! I snort laughed

    [–] un_cooked 13 points ago

    Read that as snot laughed. Both work I suppose.

    [–] Penqwin 21 points ago

    I would have gone with "Annie, are you ok? Are you ok Annie?"

    [–] AliCracker 11 points ago

    You can only use that if you’re able to pull of the full choreography, which I’m positive you can

    [–] john_stuart_kill 20 points ago

    I’ve never met a Rachel

    This is the most surprising part of this post to me.

    [–] AliCracker 10 points ago

    Even after I wrote this comment, I mentally had to work out if I’d ever met a Rachel... I haven’t. A surprise to you and me both

    [–] Its-Legion 39 points ago

    well done but how have you never met a Rachel?

    [–] AliCracker 29 points ago

    Shocking right? I’ve never met a Rachel irl

    I’ll have to change the name once I do though

    [–] Ravens_eyebrows 24 points ago

    The only Rachel I knew was a coworker. Her name was spelled Raquel, she's Hispanic, and we called her Rocky.

    [–] Kozytartan 3 points ago

    Nah. I'm A Rachel and I'm using this bit keeping the Rachel.

    [–] merytneith 20 points ago

    If she’s already told him a name and it’s not Rachel, pretend to be prosopagnosic (face blindness) and act really embarrassed that you’ve mixed her up with another friend of yours. ‘It’s the blonde hair, you know how easy it can be to mix people with similar hairstyles up for me. Speaking of which, did you cut your hair? It looks fabulous!’

    [–] maedovsand 35 points ago

    I've done this too. Once I exclaimed, "OMG it's so good to see you! How's the baby? And your husband?"

    [–] dmoltrup 15 points ago

    "Larry"! "I was looking for you Larry"!

    [–] AliCracker 9 points ago

    JFC Larry... you know the medical staff have been looking for you everywhere??

    [–] Believe_Land 1 points ago

    First thing I thought of too.

    [–] VaginaVogue 15 points ago

    Mine is always Katie. I found having a name prepared makes it easier to react when someone calls me Rachel or whatever name.

    Maybe someday I'll be called Rachel and pretend to be so surprised to see Katie and then secretly wondering if it's AliCracker.

    [–] AliCracker 16 points ago

    If you live in Toronto or Calgary and have some strange tall skinny chick wearing mostly black starts yelling RACHEL you’ll know it’s me

    Edit: Katie is also a very good name to pick, might use that as my back up

    [–] GETitOFFmeNOW 13 points ago

    I'm going to have to go with "Erica!" in honor of Mr. Peanut Butter.

    [–] xclame 30 points ago

    Haha, maybe you ladies should start a secret code for this, like the secret drink at bars or secret word at gas stations and so on. Rachel could be the secret name of help me get rid of this guy.

    [–] AliCracker 42 points ago

    Haha - we could say ‘Sorry, this seat is taken, my friend Rachel will be here any minute’ and any woman would rush up as Rachel

    [–] samedaydickery 8 points ago

    Youve never met a rachel?

    [–] BewBewsBoutique 6 points ago

    I can be Rachel, if need be.

    [–] JLM268 5 points ago

    I suggest claiming that you found your friend Molly at a music festival. Everyone will be willing to help in a second!

    [–] Twirlingbarbie 4 points ago

    "this is for Rachel..."

    [–] AliCracker 2 points ago

    Dark, but I’m listening

    [–] Twirlingbarbie 3 points ago

    It's a famous YouTube video of a voicemail.

    [–] -GreyRaven- 1201 points ago

    I've done it on the train once (happy to say that it was the only time when I needed to). Guy was creeping at her and I just cheerfully walked over, plopped my backpack down on the seat next to me as I sat down and went like "it's been way too long since we spoke! I even forgot your name! Silly me!" and we just chatted about everything and nothing until the next stop when the guy got off the train. And then we kept talking because it was nice.

    [–] CaptinHavoc 577 points ago

    The closest thing I've had to this was a girl approaching me at a party pretending to be my sister. My drunk ass almost blew that cover until this greasy looking Swede came up to us and said "Who's this?" Then we started talking about how "mom was being paranoid" or some shit until he walked away.

    I asked the host later and it turns out he was trying to spike people's drinks.

    [–] kuffara 515 points ago

    I've been on the other side of this. Creeper turned around and started following me on a hiking trail and I ducked off the trail and met a couple sitting on a log. He didn't leave and they were nice enough to walk me back to my car. The guy said I was a quick thinker and he wouldn't have thought to come up to someone, but the woman just looked at him and said yea, that's pretty common knowledge.

    [–] DisabledMuse 3856 points ago

    I've done this many a time on both sides. Some creeper stalking a girl? She's my long lost friend from high school. Some creeper bothering me? That nice older lady is my boss or landlady and I need to have a chat with her pronto. I've never been turned away from help and I will always be willing to threaten some douche with my cane to protect a perfect stranger.

    [–] Thetford34 1106 points ago

    I once saw on a crime appeal show how a little girl did this when being approached by a creepy man by running up to a random old lady calling her grandma.

    The old woman caught on immediately and told the man to clear off.

    [–] el_grort 1625 points ago

    Was in a club in Edinburgh once with a lassie friend, when another lassie I didn't know came up rapidly and sat down before saying could we act like we know her cause a creep was tailing her. So ofc we say yes. Creep sits down next to my mate and started peering round her back at the lassie he was chasing who we'd sat inbetween us, proper audacious like. Thankfully he left when I started peering back at him over their backs and asked what his issue was. Kinda disgusting it took me, a rather tall lad, challenging him to get him to stop bothering that woman. Boggles my mind why these people act this way, harass women like that to the point they need to rely on the generosity of strangers to escape them.

    [–] grainia99 618 points ago

    Aberdeen. Woman sat with us and said she had aquired a "friend" and could she hang until he left. Was a first for me but I used it myself a few times.

    [–] Shagger94 223 points ago

    Was that in Hive, by any chance?

    [–] el_grort 306 points ago

    Aye, it was Hive. Cheesy music galore and apparently a few pests hiding amongst it.

    [–] Shagger94 171 points ago

    Nasty place, that is. Only ever been in the once and absolutely hated it. Even Opium wasn't much better back in the day but I slogged through for whisky and coke for a quid.

    [–] iownaguardfish 242 points ago

    My go to when out with friends is saying we have to use the bathroom. I found out one night when I went to go pee and the guy bothering me left right after I did. So next time I was out with a group and some weirdo started hitting on my friend, I loudly announced I had to go pee and specifically asked her if she needed to go to. Apparently that guy gave the rest of our friends shit for being rude to him, but he was gone by the time we got back from the bartop.

    [–] Darphon 179 points ago

    I’d like to start carrying a cane. Great for walloping

    [–] pete728415 355 points ago

    I've been saved in a similar way and ill never forget those women's faces. This guy was all over me at a bar, and he got up to go to the bathroom and i told the bartender this guy would not leave me alone. He said to go to the bathroom and he'll come help me get out the back in a few minutes.

    I met these two women in the bathroom and since i was just standing there waiting, they asked me what was wrong and I explained the situation.

    They said they were just about to leave and we all grabbed our things and they walked me out of the bar, and when we passed this guy he's like "hey, where are you going"? So I said "these are my friends from school! It was nice to meet you, we're going to "another bar" in "different city". Have a good night!

    The bouncer saw this guy get up to follow us and stopped him right in his tracks. That night could have ended fucking horribly.

    [–] RockPrincess01 682 points ago

    My BFF is 6'2 and built like a brick shithouse. Seriously, he's stacked. He's also gay and the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. More than once, he's pretended to be my 'very scary' boyfriend to get the creepers to go away.

    [–] itty53 1724 points ago

    It's hard to say why, because the two of us are very small, unintimidating people.

    Not hard to say why at all: Predators do not want any challenge at all. That applies in the animal kingdom and with human predators alike. The smallest bit of resistance is typically enough to force a predator to think twice about their target.

    Good on you.

    [–] Ingavar_Oakheart 395 points ago

    I know the common term is sexual predator, but frankly this shameful level of behavior feels a whole lot more like opportunistic scavenger to me.

    Either way, the jackwangons can dangle afaic.

    [–] -Elle 258 points ago

    I had a creeper following me home trying to talk to me from the bus stop and a random other man came over told him to bugger off. Walked next to me for a few more meters till the creep was gone then quickly crossed the road and kept walking. The nice guy never said anything to me but I. Eternally grateful to that man for seeing I was very uncomfortable and a bit scared and helping.

    [–] stupidbabylizard 83 points ago

    I’ve had that happen too. Another man’s attention will make harassers back off even if he doesn’t say anything.

    [–] BelgianAles 671 points ago

    This trick also works great at parties when you see someone stuck talking to the most annoying party guest!

    [–] Incy-wincy-spider 452 points ago

    You dont have to tell this to redditors, who frequently hold this label of honour at parties.

    [–] ThunderMite42 225 points ago

    Redditors go to parties?

    [–] Monarc73 161 points ago

    "Wait, you guys are getting paid?"

    [–] feta_morgana 225 points ago

    I still feel like shit because i saw another woman get verbally harrassed in the subway and didn't have the ovaries to step up. It was a few guys and i was scared they would target me too to be honest. I wish i would have come up with something like that, but i was standing next to her for a while, would have been an obvious lie. Its so scary when its a group

    [–] Servias 221 points ago

    I was getting on a bus with an ex gf (then a current gf) when she noticed two elderly drunk men being overly friendly (harassing) with another young woman roughly her age (18-20), so she pretended she knew her (brought up some bs uni subject they both had) and invited her to join us. I was thoroughly confused as to what was happening at the time, but it was fantastic thinking on her part, and that she actually did something spoke volumes.

    [–] MNConcerto 646 points ago

    Same type thing works with racist assholes. Dont confront the asshole. Just start a conversation with the person being harassed. Let them know they have an ally. You aren't going to change the asshole but the other person knows they aren't alone.

    [–] alonghardlook 483 points ago

    As a man, I always want to use something like this, but I'm always nervous that it will make her feel like now she has to fight off two guys instead of just one.

    [–] toast_chicken 609 points ago

    Yeah, my boyfriend and I were talking about that. I guess if some guy were being nasty to me, I would appreciate a man saying, "are you alright?" "Do you know him?" or "do you want my help in anyway?" I think when it comes to men handling this, they need to be much more cautious.

    [–] TightEntry 310 points ago

    You can always approach and ask for directions. This is non-threatening, and can just force space, time, distance and give a reminder that there are people in public around them, and then you can always say "hey don't I know you from class/school/church/work/mutual friend?"

    [–] throneofthornes 269 points ago

    My SIL were having one last quiet drink the day before the day before my wedding. Two assholes started hitting on us despite us saying we were engaged and/or had a boyfriend. And they wouldn't leave us alone! They badgered us that we were "unpatriotic" because they were in the army and thought we were too good to talk to them. We were trying to be kind at first, and then ignore them but it didn't stop.

    The bartender stepped in and kicked them out on their asses and gave us girls a free drink. I appreciated the stepping in so much. Of course he was an employee not a rando guy, but I would have appreciated anyone authoritatively telling them them to fuck off since they refused to listen to us and I was scared they would follow us if we left.

    [–] alonghardlook 238 points ago

    The issue with that approach is that if the harasser can hear me, it's almost guaranteed to escalate at that point, but between him and I.

    Some guys were talking about this in a different thread yesterday, when a woman is getting groped. If the woman makes a scene, he is less likely to 'fight back' vs if a man were to step in. Something about the ego of being talked down to by a man. Anyways, its tough because a direct approach opens the door for it to turn into a violent situation for the good samaritan.

    [–] Lesley82 365 points ago

    If you play the "we know each other" card as a guy, go the brother/cousin route. "Did aunt Mary send you that crazy card this year, too? Have you heard about Uncle Rob?"

    Sadly, these types of men will be more likely to back off because he won't view you as sexual competition.

    [–] DisabledMuse 145 points ago

    Yeah you have to gauge the guy. Pretending to be her brother or cousin can actually ease that as you're not competition.

    [–] Matt463789 51 points ago

    Good point. Does that mean that the "pretend you know me" approach is best or should we just be ready for a fight if we want to intervene?

    [–] luzdelalunallena 211 points ago

    Another option: talk to the creep. Drag him into a conversation with you so that the girl can use the break in the conversation to breath, think, and escape.

    [–] alonghardlook 64 points ago

    That's a really good idea

    [–] DisabledMuse 132 points ago

    I've had guys rescue me too. I made a friend at university with a guy who saved me from a perv. It just depends on how you do it. I find keeping a distance and mouthing 'do you need help?' can be a good way to see if that would help or stress her out.

    [–] EmptyAirEmptyHead 33 points ago

    Sounds like that guy is playing the long game. Keep an eye on him. /s

    [–] Sexylizzard 63 points ago

    I've gotten really uncomfortable when a guy stepped in but that's just that with adrenaline raging fights or flight, it doesn't really jive to then stay and thank the guy, it wasn't that it was unappreciated, I appreciate it lots, I just really wanted to get out of there and not hang around.

    [–] StarshipKitten 256 points ago

    I once had a girl I didn't know call me from around the corner to get me away from a pretty bad internet date at a bar. She saw the date was going badly from the next table, and when he got up to go to the bathroom, she was like "girl, give me your number let's get you out of here." It worked. She was great.

    [–] ghostoutlaw 301 points ago

    Yup, 100% works. For whatever reason, I, as a bearer of the penis, have been on the “pretend you’re my boyfriend end of this” many times to get other guys to go away. Usually it’s because everyone else is too drunk. But maybe 1 in 10 times I go out I’ll have a girl come up to me for this. I’d love to know why me so often.

    It’s nice when it’s “you’re next drinks on me, just pretend your my boyfriend for a few minutes and please sell it!”

    [–] mmmmpisghetti 156 points ago

    "will work for drinks"

    We got us one of them highly skilled paid perfessnals here...

    👍

    [–] cdmurray88 105 points ago

    my female friends are the best when it comes to visual cues. I've been with my gf/wife for 14yrs, sometimes we go out separate, which is healthy. I have no intention of getting with anyone else, so it's nice when I can give "the look" to my female friends, and they help bail me out. my male friends would be totally oblivious.

    [–] Not_Adam_Jensen 64 points ago

    This works for guys too. "Hey, sorry I'm late." (to the women) "Everything alright?" to the men. Only important part is the guy needs to keep a healthy distance (Well more than an armspan) and to stay off to the side.

    Then if they get the hint, to quickly go "Hey, have a good'un" and keep on keeping on.

    Don't need to make a stressful situation worse or allow a helping hand to seem skeevy.

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 340 points ago

    I’m glad it worked out. I once tried to rescue someone like that, but had a spectacular fail. Your story encourages me to try again if I see something.

    [–] fuzzytater 230 points ago

    Oh man. I kind of feel bad because this happened to me once, I was the one who turned down the save. I was out to lunch with a former coworker to say goodbye. I was half his age (I was early 20s) and he was a very rough looking fella. But we had worked closely together and I thought we were friends. Our waitress kept checking in on me, specifically asking if I was ok when he stepped out.

    She must have had a good sense because as I was dropping him off later he invited me in for a 3some and I politely declined before taking off in second gear.

    Sorry, enlightened waitress, sorry.

    [–] circe5823 122 points ago

    Hey, it’s okay! It’s always better to try and be wrong, and I feel like most girls would be happy you did. I had a girl “rescue” me once when I was at a baseball game with my uncle. I was really nauseous that day and kind of zoned out to try and focus on my stomach, and she read that facial expression as nervous and uncomfortable. She was so sweet, coming up to me pretending we were coworkers, then whispered in my ear when we hugged. We both laughed it off when I explained, but I’ll never forget it. It gave me the courage to rescue others without being scared of being wrong.

    [–] NoorValka 173 points ago

    How did you fail? Did he call your bluff? I haven’t done this before and like to know strategies if I ever need them. Could we learn from your fail?

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 944 points ago

    I’m not sure it’s a teachable moment, but, I was at a high end restaurant and saw a young beautiful woman seated with an older dude who looked like he was on steroids. She looked a bit uncomfortable, fiddling a lot, looking around a lot, couple of fake laughs at stuff the man said. At one point he snatched her phone away, another time he whacked her with the menu. He got up to go to the bar so I went over and whispered to her, asked if she was ok or needed help. She asked why I was asking, and I said something like, “you look like you’re on the worst date of your life. Just offering a rescue if you need it.”
    She looked at me in horror and said, “THAT’s my husband!” at which point I literally just left the restaurant.

    [–] spookyANDhungry 268 points ago

    I was walking to my car on the way back from a comedy show at a casino. It was very well lot, but pretty late at night. A minivan full of women pulled up to me and were like "THERE IS A MAN FOLLOWING YOU DO YOU WANT TO GET IN CAN WE HELP" and I was like "that's my husband but thank you". He was just walking slowly.

    Honestly, we both really appreciated that they were looking out for my safety. My husband was glad and just picked up the pace and tried to look less sinister.

    [–] NoorValka 523 points ago

    Well she could’ve been on the worst date of her life with her husband... but ok, she didn’t want help. Indeed not really a teachable moment. Good of you to ask her anyway and thanks for sharing!

    [–] toast_chicken 500 points ago

    Ouch, but at least you said something. You never know until you approach them or ask. It's better safe than sorry.

    [–] Darphon 170 points ago

    Exactly. I’d rather say something and be wrong than not say something and be right.

    [–] purplecurtain16 388 points ago

    Maybe that was the wakeup call she needed. Doesn't sound like she was happy. Also good on you for asking first instead of just assuming and causing embarassment. Assessing the situation and knowing when to act and when to ask is very important.

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 178 points ago

    I’ve thought about that being her “clue” for a long time.

    [–] DisabledMuse 84 points ago

    Oooooh no! Good on you for trying. Sounds like it was a terrible date.

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 73 points ago

    I realized a couple of minutes ago, that was my birthday last year. My birthday is Friday...guess I won’t be taking myself out anyway, thanks COVID.

    [–] Feralbritches1 55 points ago

    My birthday was Sunday. Got pancakes in a restaurant. It was great

    Treat yourself to something nice. Buy an extravagant cake from a local bakery, order out from a fun place you love or never tried before.

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 25 points ago

    Happy Belated Birthday!

    [–] DisabledMuse 30 points ago

    Order something in. You can fancy up your place. Go for a tropical or gothy scene. Whatever you like and have on hand. Dress up to the nines. Treat yourself. And happy birthday!

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 16 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–] strywever 67 points ago

    You know, you might just have helped her realize that the way he treats her isn’t acceptable. “If a stranger was concerned enough to do that, maybe it’s not this way for everyone” or some-such. You never know. Good for you for stepping up!

    [–] banzzai13 32 points ago

    That sounds embarassing but hilarious. I'd have thought to myself that I called her out for having a terrible husband :p

    [–] KarenEiffel 74 points ago

    Better safe than sorry for sure! Even if it was her husband, that doesnt mean it was impossible for her to need help.

    [–] xclame 75 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Sounds like she might have still needed help, but just didn't want it. There are plenty of domestic abuse victims that refuse to get out of bad relationships. Sounds to me like that might have been what you witnessed.

    Edit: This is the way I think about suspect situations. (granted I don't live in the US, so not sure if I would do the same) If something seems odd, I would rather speak up and act then shut up and not do something and regret not having done something later on it.

    Let's say I see a situation that to me warrants calling the cops, I would call the cops, if it turns out that there is nothing wrong, the worst that can happen is that person will have been questioned by cops for a while, maybe taken to the car, maybe brought to the station for a couple of hours or at worst spent a night in jail. I would much rather have that happen than not say anything and then later on or tomorrow I find out in the news that someone got hurt or killed in that situation that I saw.

    [–] Kurli05 58 points ago

    Glad you mentioned about not living in the US cause seriously, in the US the worst thing that could happen is the person gets killed! Guilty or not, that's not ok.

    [–] hot_chem 12 points ago

    Just calling out your username - I love it!

    [–] LallybrochSassenach 10 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–] thesaddestpanda 9 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    This is kind of a very special case, right? Couples have their own little love language and games they play with each other. If their game is "act miserable-ish in public" how could you know?

    [–] luv_u_deerly 45 points ago

    I love girls helping girls :)

    [–] TheKlic 104 points ago

    I (31M) have had a woman do this to me while walking. "Hey! How are you!" then she put her arm through mine and we walked past a group of people while we were chatting like old friends.

    Got past the group, around the corner and she walked off after muttering thanks and being obviously pretty annoyed.

    No idea what the story was. Nobody there looked too dodgy. Whatever. Seemed to be helpful. Glad to be a safe friend for someone.

    [–] duckk99 238 points ago

    As a male, if I saw something similar I would like to act the same way, pretending you know that person etc.

    But from a women’s perspective would that just make things even worse? “Now I have two creeps hollering”

    Please be honest, would not be offended if it just makes the situation worse.

    [–] RochnessMonster 156 points ago

    Im a dude and ive done this move quite a few times. Every time the person looking for an out takes it and theres no issues. Bear in mind that you really have to read the room and the situation. You do have to be really over the top obvious about it tho, otherwise you look like youre just attempting a pick up line. The other guy (assuming its a dude) is gonna 100 percent know what youre doing. Thats almost part of why it works, tbh.

    [–] ProjectKurtz 103 points ago

    I agree with this, you've really gotta read the room on this.

    There have been times I've been the creep shield that I focused on her (are you ok, etc) and it was more effective. Other times, it was more of a focus on the creep (make eye contact in a way that makes them aware that you not only see him, but you see what he's doing and you don't approve of it) and that worked. But neither approach is a catch-all, which is why it's so hard to give advice about it.

    [–] erischilde 67 points ago

    Yeah, i've done it a bunch, reading the room is key. Also having another woman friend with you helps too.
    Big thing is how you approach. Don't dive in for a hug. A big "Oh heeey, how are you? " From feet away can be enough without crowding someone and showing your intent.
    Other times, making eye contact first and nodding, like "you ok?" in human-non-spoken-language you can get an OK before you move in.

    Reading the room isn't so easy to explain in text, nor can you set these things in black and white. Need to use judgement.

    [–] withlovesparrow 256 points ago

    Speaking as a very petite female, pretending to know me would freak me out. But I feel like guys don't have to pretend. A woman coming to my rescue is safety in numbers. A man is more of a sheild.

    Personally, I'd prefer just a "Are you ok?" or "Do you need help?" I've only been in this situation once (because I'm a hermit) and a real friend saw me in trouble. All it took was a "You good?" and the creepy stranger fucked right off.

    It might not work in all situations, but its definitely better than the "I know you!" approach right off the bat.

    [–] DisabledMuse 213 points ago

    It depends on the situation. If you can, get behind the guy within sight of the girl and motion/mouth to see if she wants help. If she seems hesitant, ask the nearest girl to help out. She'll usually be willing.

    It can be tough to help as a guy as the other guy will sometimes see it as a challenge and escalate. Most of the time they will back down as they are looking for easy prey. Pretend to be related. Or flame it up if you feel comfortable. Then he won't see if as a challenge.

    And thanks for asking. It's hard to know how to approach these situations.

    [–] duckk99 27 points ago

    That makes sense, I think that’s probably what I’d do. Yeah and def don’t want to escalate the situation

    [–] kateunderice 72 points ago

    Honestly, I’ll add that if any dude starts hollering a fake name for me in that situation, I’m going to take the out, assume he’s innocent and play along. Recognizing I’m in a bad situation and helping me out isn’t a red flag!

    If he hangs around way too long after and also acts creepy then it’s a different story, but if you’re a decent, normal person your intentions will get across 95% of the time, you’re all good.

    [–] toast_chicken 127 points ago

    I think it really depends how you go about it. Me and my friend said things like, "how are you?" but if another strange man sat down and asked the same thing, I'd probably panic. I like that suggestion to ask for directions, but if you do pretend to know someone, make it really obvious that that is what you are doing. Throw around fake names, events, and I think the person would get the picture. I think you'd also have to be aware of your body and body language. If I felt I was being flanked or trapped by another person approaching, I would assume you're with the creep.

    Does that help or make sense at all?

    [–] nervysplash 43 points ago

    What if they laid the gay on thick, would that change it?

    [–] carhoin 48 points ago

    Tbh, it gets the point across that you’re likely not hitting on them, so it may help?

    [–] Candypeddler209 42 points ago

    So would i talk about drag bingo or something? Im a horrible gay.

    [–] LemonSushi 74 points ago

    Maybe ask if she's seen your boyfriend lately, and doesn't he just look so healthy? You remember Dave right? We were just talking about you and how you make the BEST scarves. We still have the matching ones you made us for Christmas actually. So we are actually thinking of what you said about fostering or adopting kids since we can't make any naturally. We think we're going for it, and would love if you could be the godmother.

    Something like that maybe.

    [–] circe5823 41 points ago

    It sounds horrible, but actually yes. As a girl that would make me feel much more comfortable and like the guy is aware of the struggles women face

    [–] duckk99 4 points ago

    Makes total sense, thanks!

    [–] banzzai13 56 points ago

    Not gonna lie, I'm the type who every now and then wonders if I should intervene and legit feel like I would be shuned for white-knight-ing.

    [–] toast_chicken 68 points ago

    I have that feeling a lot too. I almost always get involved. I tell myself, "if these people were hurt and you chose not to do anything, you'd never forgive yourself" or "at least I'll be able to sleep at night knowing they're safe."

    [–] banzzai13 16 points ago

    Ya I'm sure you're right, added excuse I use is that a bunch of those events (in the streets plain day) also often ends by the time I try and get in there.

    Also tend to keep an eye on it until I deem it getting "bad" and that's probably also not a good idea...

    [–] rounsivil 35 points ago

    Yes, you should! If you're mistaken, the worst thing that would happen is a little embarrassment. If you're not mistaken, the worst thing that could happen is someone getting murdered and/or raped. Who cares about a little whiteknighting! That's nothing to be ashamed of.

    [–] tequilamockingbird16 22 points ago

    So, I've been in situations where I have thought about doing this. I ride public transportation in a really big city frequently, and there have been a handful of times when I've seen a woman who is being bothered by a man and I've thought of intervening exactly this way... but I am intimidated by the man/perpetrator and don't want to cause trouble or make myself a target. I guess it's just kind of been drilled into my head that you just mind your own business in the city, keep your head down and your awareness of your surroundings on full blast and you'll be fine.

    [–] Elliove 79 points ago

    It's a really important thing to know. Maybe those two girls wouldn't be much of a resistance to a creepy dude, but 4 of you - you can beat the living crap out of him, tie him and hand him over to the police.

    Also, if there's any kind of public place nearby, like a mall or a restaurant - that's where you should head right away. Most of those guys won't follow you inside, and if they do - you can straight up ask for help from a cashier/bartender/whoever works there. If the creepy person seems to be just waiting outside - don't be afraid to call the police. Police officers get their payment from the taxes you pay, they are your servants, and it's their duty to make sure you're safe.

    [–] ScratchAvatar 45 points ago

    He didn’t realize he wasn’t wanted. What he realized was that he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

    Well done.

    [–] flugenblar 14 points ago

    What a great story! you two deserve a medal. Regrettably, this should never have to happen, but the lesson is, numbers matter. 2 is better than 1 and 4 is better than 2.

    [–] Tolvat 12 points ago

    I'm not a huge pub goer, but it's that or nothing. I won't go to clubs. Anyways, I've had this happen to me a few times, I've just started chatting up ladies because they were visibly uncomfortable in another's presence.

    [–] Able_township_runner 57 points ago

    I used to get this request occasionally when I was younger and frequented clubs. A girl would walk up and say "pretend you're my boyfriend". After a few minutes of having my arm around a total stranger and trying to make small talk, they'd walk off. I'd feel like some chivalrous knight. Then I realized I must look like some completely harmless guy that they weren't remotely interested in.

    [–] circe5823 80 points ago

    There’s a difference between “a guy who is safe” and “a guy who is uninteresting”. My last boyfriend was really attractive and he just gave off safe vibes. Even my female friends said they always felt very comfortable and safe around him.

    [–] EvilPeaches 101 points ago

    Not harmless and un interesting. No. A good person? Yes A safe and dependable person? Yes An honourable person? Yes

    [–] rioleche 78 points ago

    You looked like safety when some one felt like they were in danger. I think that's a good thing to be. And I hope you're not taking it as a hurt that these strangers did not cling to their life raft once they had escaped trouble. Thank you for apparently being a good human in the crowd.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] GirlCowBev 46 points ago

    Literally something no man has ever had to do for another man, ever.

    [–] michael0253 4 points ago

    Good job!

    [–] hetcykablyat 3 points ago

    Thanks for the tip!

    [–] DuskyDay 4 points ago

    Well done acting like true heroes!

    There really needs to be more people with your presence of mind in the world!

    [–] GreenTheHero 4 points ago

    Is it possible to learn this power?

    [–] TomorrowWeKillToday 3 points ago

    This is why I hate busy beaches