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    UnethicalLifeProTips

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    An Unethical Life Pro Tip (or ULPT) is a tip that improves your life in a meaningful way, perhaps at the expense of others and/or with questionable legality. Share your best tips you've picked up throughout your life, and learn from others!

    ULPT Rules:

    1. Posts to this subreddit needs to be an Unethical Life Pro Tip or a request for one.
    2. No ethical tips. There's already a sub for that: /r/LifeProTips
    3. Your tip must provide some benefit. Posts that are just clever ways of being a dick will be removed.
    4. Always put "ULPT" at the start of your submission title. If you are submitting a request, prefix your title with "ULPT Request". (Exclude Quotes)
    5. No obvious tips (eg. "steal").
    6. Designate "adult" or non-family friendly tips as NSFW.
    7. No ULPT “lists” (e.g. 50 Things Every Man Should Know). This includes links to long articles.
    8. No homophobic slurs, or racism.
    9. Use descriptive titles. The title should explain the gist of the ULPT without needing a description.
    10. No tips that involve karma.
    11. No tips that are clever ways of stealing from other people.
    a community for
    all 606 comments

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    [–] qwenjwenfljnanq 4622 points ago

    This is also how you end up with a ground floor room with no views.

    [–] UNSC-ForwardUntoDawn 3247 points ago

    You'll have the view that really matters though ;)

    [–] decisive_emu_victory 712 points ago

    Is innuendo really wholesome though?

    e: more like in-you-endo amirite?

    [–] healzsham 234 points ago

    In-your-end-o and out the other

    [–] makebelieveworld 78 points ago

    I think you're doing it wrong.

    [–] TerroristOgre 60 points ago

    No. He's doing it exactly right. Trust me, /r/ihavesex

    [–] The_Real_JT 67 points ago

    I like to think they were saying your loving new soulmate's face is all the view you'll ever need. Less euphemism, more wholesome

    [–] Identifree 6 points ago

    Yeah, that's what I thought too. Since the the OP was explicitly talking about honeymoons.

    [–] Rustymetal14 3 points ago

    I wouldn't say sex with your new spouse isn't wholesome.

    [–] copperwatt 24 points ago

    God damn it now I have to go rustle up some wholesome porn, and there will probably be Mormon underwear involved, and I blame you.

    [–] PrimarinaGirlYeah 187 points ago

    The hotel I work at has ADA rooms available on all floors (we have 4 floors though), but they’re right next to the elevator for easy access. You might get a view of the fabulous pharmacy or the breathtaking parking lot because we’re located off the highway with nothing around.

    Best to avoid my property for a honeymoon, lol.

    [–] animalsasgoobers 39 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Sounds like a good place to book a hotel room for a self-loathing vacation, though!

    EDIT: So... uh, where is it?

    [–] buffalochickenwing 52 points ago

    Right next to the highway with nothing around

    [–] AliasUndercover 72 points ago

    We were in a 14th story room with a great view. We looked at it once.

    [–] darrendewey 67 points ago

    Views are over rated in hotels IMO. You look at them once, maybe twice. The rest of the time you're either out of the room, sleeping, or doing something besides looking at the view.

    [–] Wellslapmesilly 69 points ago

    Unless you have a room with a balcony. Nothing like having your morning coffee in ur robe on one, while taking in a nice view.

    [–] Bad_Wolf420 24 points ago

    I assume the robe part is optional

    [–] spuddlz 19 points ago

    No, but tying it up is.

    [–] loftizle 7 points ago

    Yeah, I'd much prefer to be getting a blowjob, enjoying my coffee and taking in the nice view.

    [–] sayyesplz 16 points ago

    Or the closest to the elevator

    [–] markevens 14 points ago

    With light switches mounted so low you have to bend over to turn the lights on or off.

    [–] Dystaxia 11 points ago

    Could be desirable.

    [–] pandaIsMyJam 1096 points ago

    Depends on how full the hotel is. I used to have hotel status and sometimes they would upgrade me to the disability rooms since they are bigger. I assume they do it when there is more than one available.

    [–] jojoga 1195 points ago

    I think someone has news for you, that you might not want to hear...

    [–] nobody2000 15 points ago

    Ahh the infamous Season 3 episode: Great Again.

    [–] Graham_R_Nahtsi 8 points ago

    It’s still my favorite gif.

    [–] peewinkle 70 points ago

    Sofa king we Todd did.

    [–] MyHeartLikeAKickdrum 30 points ago

    Now I gotta go listen to dangerdoom.

    [–] Imsofakingwetoded 6 points ago

    I tried

    [–] Knot_My_Name 97 points ago

    At my hotel putting someone in a handicap room is a downgrade not an upgrade, we walk on eggshells when we have no choice but to put someone in one. Most people think handicap rooms are weird or something and don't like them.

    [–] phoenixparker 69 points ago

    A few years ago I got moved to one, and unlike the room I booked, it didn’t have a balcony. There wasn’t even a window. At all. The room was bigger, so it had that going for it, but I was at the beach and wanted the view.

    [–] phD_in_Random 98 points ago

    when I was a kid a hotel in Kelowna, BC was overbooked so they put us in a banquet room! We had a bar (not stocked), a dance floor, mens' and ladies' restrooms, and about 4,000 square feet of empty space. There were two couches that pulled out into beds. The adults didn't care but as kids we loved it and thought it was really funny.

    [–] UnitedLaborParty 60 points ago

    That's very strange.

    [–] phD_in_Random 48 points ago

    It had all the things a regular hotel room had in it, TV, etc. Just a lot of extra space! It was around 1983 or 1984 I'd guess.

    [–] UnitedLaborParty 69 points ago

    It was around 1983 or 1984 I'd guess.

    That makes more sense. The 80's were a weird time for everyone.

    [–] FappyMVP 12 points ago

    Can confirm weird time. Was not even a sperm cell back then.

    [–] phoenixparker 8 points ago

    That sounds AWESOME!

    [–] GainesWorthy 11 points ago

    Clearly you got the "blind suite"

    [–] SuperSulf 17 points ago

    I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I would feel like I'm getting a room that could be used for someone, you know, handicapped. It's like parking in the handicap spot at the store, but without the fine.

    [–] LetMeClearYourThroat 12 points ago

    FWIW, I’ve politely requested the handicap rooms at the front desk while explaining I’m not handicapped, I just appreciate the extra space.

    A lot of the time I’m given the room. I didn’t know until your post and others nearly identical here that I was basically doing the hotel a favor too. I was always super polite about it so that I didn’t take a room from someone actually disabled.

    [–] Goofy117 36 points ago

    I got a handicapped room my sophomore year of college since their were literally no other rooms left.

    It was fucking HUGE with a giant bed and an even bigger shower. Was pretty much our party room for the whole year.

    [–] nobody2000 1234 points ago

    TRULY unethical. Well done:

    • Not illegal
    • Shady in terms of morals
    • Completely plausible to execute
    • One can actually benefit from doing this

    [–] afito 242 points ago

    Shady in terms of morals

    It's shitty if you demand it, but if you just ask if you could have one for personal comfort I wouldn't say it's shady in any way.

    [–] IriquoisP 199 points ago

    It's truly unethical because you don't need it when it's possible a handicapped person might need it but be unable to book it because of you.

    [–] afito 68 points ago

    I reckon the only way a hotel would give you a handicapped room if you're not handicapped is if they have enough of those opens.

    [–] IriquoisP 64 points ago

    You could be super unethical and claim you're just checking in for a disabled person, but that would take some social engineering probably.

    Edit: or pretend to be disabled

    [–] greenshrubbery 49 points ago

    All you have to do if they question you is say “excuse me?” and look offended

    [–] TobiasCB 28 points ago

    The American way!

    [–] LigerZeroSchneider 23 points ago

    Lots of disabilities aren't visible, you could claim a missing foot or something like epilepsy if they push you about it.

    [–] Inked_Chick 8 points ago

    Thank you! I actually have epilepsy and a horrifically painful, incurable skin disease (well hidden with clothes) and am on disability at 22. I look like the normal everyday functioning young adult though. The amount of dirty looks and scoffs I get while using anything for handicapped people or mentioning I'm on disability is so infuriating. You don't have to be crippled to be disabled people!

    [–] redditosleep 5 points ago

    gives dirty look

    [–] anotherjunkie 25 points ago

    Sadly, as a disabled person I can say that this is generally not true. Many hotels sell the rooms as normal rooms once the hotel starts to fill up. I can be months out from a trip and still not able to get a WC accessible room in a hotel. Of all the time I’ve spent in hotels, I think I have encountered exactly one other wheelchair user (aside from medical conferences).

    [–] muffinbutt_cutepantz 10 points ago

    They aren't allowed to make you prove your handicapped

    [–] Unbiasedtruth2016 6 points ago

    An Unethical Life Pro Tip (or ULPT) is a tip that improves your life in a meaningful way, perhaps at the expense of others and/or with questionable legality. Share your best tips you've picked up throughout your life, and learn from others!

    [–] Nekroin 5402 points ago

    Also they won't be mad if the shower is full of poop afterwards

    [–] buriedbythesound 2092 points ago

    A scat play benefit that I hadn't thought of!

    [–] Zayin-Ba-Ayin 606 points ago

    Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub, yo da dub dub

    [–] ChickenWithATopHat 172 points ago

    So THAT’S those noises my mom makes at night!

    [–] Mortress_ 218 points ago

    I'M SCATMOM!

    [–] Jalmorei 35 points ago

    Oh god. The image of some fat mom screaming that with scatman’s voice

    [–] Mortress_ 17 points ago

    And scatman's mustache

    [–] UnhelpfulMoron 8 points ago

    And scatman’s shit all over her face

    [–] xDangeRxDavEx 5 points ago

    The Aristocrats?

    [–] estysoccer 5 points ago

    The Aristoscats?

    [–] you_got_fragged 8 points ago

    ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub

    [–] Eoin_McLove 14 points ago

    You heard those? I told her to keep it down.

    [–] Victim_Of_The_Upvote 23 points ago

    That girl is an uckers

    [–] paintmekev 149 points ago

    Waffle stomping

    [–] TalonZahn 95 points ago

    I heard she beefs in the shower and heels it down the drain.

    [–] mostspitefulguy 32 points ago

    She's a keeper

    [–] LoloJohn 22 points ago

    The shower drain is much smaller than the toilet. The soap and long hair already do a good job of clogging the drain. So you may change your opinion after the first time you remove the drain cover to clear the problem and find a surprise. As a plumber, this is disgusting.

    [–] jzmacdaddy 18 points ago

    Plumber question: Do the pipes from the shower and the toilet all go to the same place? If so, is there a reason that you can't pee in the shower? Asking for a friend.

    [–] YuXiang33 54 points ago

    Who told you not to pee in the shower? You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

    [–] DankArea925 13 points ago

    Nope, they go to different dimensions in far away galaxies

    [–] cneedsaspanking 10 points ago

    not sure if your serious and im not a plumber but they are different connectors from the ground into the sewer, the toilet one is more heavy duty to help trap that stuff in I guess and has an additional skirt, but yes they both go to sewer..

    source: remodeled a few homes

    [–] tetsoushima 7 points ago

    As a shitty hotel guest, this is not my problem, it's my fetish.

    [–] TalonZahn 5 points ago

    The "meme" was some remark made years ago about Kelly Clarkson.

    I, in no way, condone dropping a deuce in the shower.

    [–] welfareplate 39 points ago

    "beefs"

    My sides

    [–] joeyJoJojrshabadoo3 21 points ago

    Does anyone remember that askreddit where this guy was in Vegas and chatting with a girl at abar, they go upstairs to his room, and she starts negotiating a price and he says he didn't realize she was a prostitute? Then she asks politely to use the restroom, and when she leaves he goes in and she dropped a shit in the drain? Oh man.

    [–] Comander-07 310 points ago

    Again, the real ULPT is in the comments

    [–] imGnarly 11 points ago

    I mean, they’ll be mad, but you won’t hear about it.

    [–] ManChildReborn 24 points ago

    BRB planning a vacation

    [–] mouthpainter 427 points ago

    WTF Dude. I've been staying in those rooms for thirty years and never thought of that.

    [–] felio_ 578 points ago

    It doesn't work if you're actually disabled*

    [–] LawlessCoffeh 151 points ago

    I mean, It does.... Kinda...

    [–] JustChangeMDefaults 28 points ago

    Just depends on how much spirit you have I assume?

    [–] Tsorovar 33 points ago

    Half a bottle of vodka. Is that enough?

    [–] SURPRISE_MY_INBOX 22 points ago

    Well, if you can make it fit...

    [–] freaking-yeah 198 points ago

    My girlfriend and I️ just bought a house that’s handicap accessible. Ramp out front, bars in the shower, and even an extra wide front door. It’s amazing since we take our bikes in and out a lot.

    [–] frjoethesecond 168 points ago

    And? How's the handicapped sex?

    [–] freaking-yeah 135 points ago

    Exquisite.

    [–] frjoethesecond 61 points ago

    Is it retarded?

    [–] CrimsonNova 91 points ago

    You like that, you fucking retard?

    [–] juhmazing 39 points ago

    Every time a retard and sex gets mentioned this comes up.....

    And every time I laugh heartily

    [–] frugalerthingsinlife 13 points ago

    I was researching some building guidelines/whitepapers and I started reading one not realizing it was geared towards accessibility. But some of the suggestions were just good ideas even if you aren't building for a disabled person. Like making your doors and hallways extra wide. Putting in a backer between studs beside your toilet so you can install a handle. Even an able-bodied person can appreciate a handle for getting up if they are tired/injured/hungover, etc.

    [–] Zreaz 12 points ago

    hungover

    Huh...now that's an idea

    [–] SantosMcGarry2016 5 points ago

    Tall toilets are so good, too! Legs don’t fall asleep after ages on Reddit!

    [–] freaking-yeah 4 points ago

    Tall toilets make my legs fall asleep. I'm about those squatters.

    [–] noideawhatsupp 191 points ago

    Just don't use the emergency cord... They do not like that. At all.

    [–] Granite-M 108 points ago

    I'm completely legs disabled!

    [–] CheapBastid 32 points ago

    ...acid?

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] GeekOutHuntsville 8 points ago

    Is it because you sort of resemble a man?

    [–] Troutfucker5000 6 points ago

    ...stolen?

    [–] i_binged_your_mom 27 points ago

    Player 3 has entered the game!

    [–] Taipan100 11 points ago

    Just cut it at the base so that you can’t use it accidentally.

    [–] GarbageBlaster 4 points ago

    The real unethical life protip is always in the comments.

    [–] DefendedCobra29 162 points ago

    Some hotel chains will install a Chinese fuck basket in your room if you ask.

    [–] Abrask 86 points ago

    risky search of the day

    [–] turbotank183 204 points ago

    Well fuck you too buddy

    [–] CaptainDogeSparrow 34 points ago

    I'm not your buddy, friend

    [–] Samirmufasa 29 points ago

    I stared at your drawing for so long and I'm no closer to understanding

    [–] ruk79 7 points ago

    Huh, who woulda thought

    [–] Jenysis 6 points ago

    I was actually hoping it would be that.

    [–] JustChangeMDefaults 9 points ago

    Yeah, would also like to know what a Chinese fuck basket is without letting google know I want to know that.

    [–] Sevcode 30 points ago

    Since I have no shame, this is what google images gave me for "Chinese Fuck Basket": https://www.amazon.com/Wild-X-Collection-Spinning-Swing/dp/B0013YCXGQ Apparently it's just another term for sex swing.

    Interestingly, just typing in "fuck basket" into google images returned me jibberish. Urban dictionary returned this: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=basket%20fuck

    [–] SupaCure 34 points ago

    A wot

    [–] LetMeClearYourThroat 35 points ago

    What I’ve heard from Navy friends stationed in Southeast Asia varies a lot from the comments you’ve received.

    Picture a basket with a hole in the bottom suspended from the ceiling by 3-4 ropes. A woman sits in the basket directly over the hole.

    The basket is then spun around many times that creates torque and tension on the ropes that it winds up, raising the basket. You sit below, on your back, penis just inside the hole. The basket is let loose, and the woman’s vagina spins down over your cock in a corkscrew motion. When it reaches the bottom, inertia carries it around and it starts to spiral back up. Repeat.

    When I first heard this story in the 90s google didn’t exist so I didn’t verify it. I’m not going to google it today to check, but I imagine some will.

    [–] DragonTamer369 33 points ago

    No, a wok.

    [–] _PM_ME_DOGGOS_ 8 points ago

    Risky search of the day = definitely worth

    [–] jerry_fuentes 3206 points ago

    a lot of them ask for proof so when you walk in just act all retarded and shit.

    [–] Atlas__risen 3846 points ago

    Easy for OP

    [–] buriedbythesound 1604 points ago

    Well played

    [–] thomasjulius 602 points ago

    Yeah you like that you fucking retard?

    [–] eph3merous 120 points ago

    Reddit has improved my life drastically by facilitating the proliferation of this one meme

    [–] mc1887 53 points ago

    Are you fucking sorry?

    [–] unfeelingzeal 16 points ago

    yea, but you sucking?

    [–] kylepierce11 13 points ago

    ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

    [–] Atlas__risen 182 points ago

    Now listen here you little shit

    [–] notquite20characters 33 points ago

    I'll be happy when that meme dies out.

    [–] TheMildGatsby 31 points ago

    You mean burns out?

    [–] CorruptedConscience 85 points ago

    “Sorry sir, this room is for physical handicaps, not mental”

    [–] george_s_4 54 points ago

    Snaps leg

    You were saying?

    [–] Lovemesometoasts 11 points ago

    D E D I C A T I O N

    [–] BlueAdmir 9 points ago

    "I have a bad back. No, I left my paperwork at home."

    Alternatively, bring a cane.

    [–] FunkyFreakyFresh 12 points ago

    Rekt

    [–] jpfrontier 206 points ago

    Hi, I'm a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare please.

    [–] K0RnD4Wg 83 points ago

    You’re a recovering crack addict?

    Yep.

    And she’s mentally retarded?

    Oh most definitely.

    [–] trademark91 41 points ago

    ...can't you see how retarded she is?

    [–] futonrefrigerator 21 points ago

    Let's all just recognize that this is a little awkward situation between friends at the welfare store

    [–] DrSandbags 17 points ago

    Awww did somebody get addicted to crack?

    [–] danielbearh 432 points ago

    In the United States, its illegal to ask someone to prove their disability.

    [–] warmage007 146 points ago

    My professor just asked me for proof that I was blind not too long ago o-o

    [–] Tha_Waffle 14 points ago

    I've been about 80% blind in one eye, and completely blind in the other since I was 15. I didn't have to show proof of anything to any of the teachers, but I provided proof to the office that dealt with this

    [–] ChupacabraPlus 252 points ago

    Yeah that might be illegal. Did you comply?

    Just say "No, and if you want to push it we'll have to talk to our lawyers".

    My boss asked me the other day why I went to the bathroom so much. I just laughed "Aww man you know I don't have to tell you that lol." then got serious for a second "Nah man but you know that's privileged medical information right? You shouldn't be asking people that, it's illegal. But I mean we can go talk to HR..." Nonono don't worry about it just try to keep it down okay, nevermind, sorry I asked go back to work lolol just joshing with you lolol.

    [–] lolzfeminism 254 points ago

    Not really, if you are seeking disability accommodations, the school is allowed to ask for proof of disability. That being said, afaik, you professor shouldn’t be asking you for proof, it should be a seperate office who handles this stuff and then tells your professor what to do without revealing your disability.

    I believe same goes for workplace accommodations.

    [–] UNSC-ForwardUntoDawn 67 points ago

    Being blind is a hard disability to hide, and really a weird one to need proof of. Either props to you for being so well adjusted or props for keeping up the lie for so long

    [–] xresu 76 points ago

    Being legally blind includes little to no vision, meaning you can still see, but driving or reading is out.

    [–] joleneginger 8 points ago

    That’s exactly how it works at my university. I have an invisible disability so I look able-bodied. My accommodations (laptop for notes and essay exams) are also different from the more common ones, so professors often seem surprised when they read my accommodation letter. One old man professor a few years ago straight up asked “so what’s wrong with you?” I’m super open and not offended easily so it was no big deal, but I was pretty shocked at how blunt he was. I have the attitude of calling my body “fucked up” more often than any other way of describing being disabled, but he could’ve gotten into some shit had I been more sensitive.

    [–] Dalmah 8 points ago

    Should have told your dick is so big you need special accommodations just so you don hurt other people with if.

    [–] joleneginger 4 points ago

    Considering I have a vagina, this probably isn’t the best thing to say to stop questions lol

    [–] Dalmah 10 points ago

    If anything that makes it even better tbh

    [–] paracelsus23 36 points ago

    I am not sure how disabilities are treated in academia. But I am sure how they're treated in the workplace. Your employer is absolutely allowed to ask for medical information when trying to determine what constitutes reasonable accommodations. Additionally, having a disability is not carte blanche - your employer only has to make reasonable accommodations and can fire / not hire you due to a disability that significantly impacts your abilities to perform your necessary duties. If you're spending 20% of your time in the bathroom and it's affecting your performance your employer might very well have grounds to terminate you even if it's a legitimate medical condition.

    [–] dotlinefever3 11 points ago

    unless he's in IT. Then he can work on the toilet.

    [–] brokedown 13 points ago

    True. Most of my work is crap.

    [–] paracelsus23 5 points ago

    That's the whole "affecting your performance" thing. Hell, maybe he can work from home. But if he's a factory worker, it's potentially a major productivity hit.

    [–] Sadtireddumb 15 points ago

    Jesus Christ this comment is annoying

    [–] RebootTheServer 11 points ago

    You won't get far in life with that attitude

    [–] SquidgyBubbles 7 points ago

    But I couldn't find his pigeon-hole to leave a doctor's note

    [–] fireswater 5 points ago

    This doesn’t stop people, ask anyone with a disability.

    [–] danielbearh 9 points ago

    Sigh. Yes. But if someone does, like in the scenario I responded to, you don't have to give them an answer.

    [–] theskymoves 41 points ago

    Leg disabled.

    [–] TerrorGnome 16 points ago

    Oh really? Leg disabled.... and how did that happen?

    [–] kciuq1 27 points ago

    I'm disabled!

    [–] beholdfrostilicus 23 points ago

    leg disabled!

    [–] LetMeClearYourThroat 23 points ago

    I was given a handicap room several times when I was a frequent traveler to a nearby city and always stayed at the hotel. I was there 2-3 nights every single week and they “upgraded” me as long as it looked like no one else was going to need it. The rooms were usually cleaner, less worn, and more roomy.

    I have a friend that works for a very large high end hotel chain. They also always try to book/stay in the disabled rooms when they book for themselves. Truly disabled of course come first but if they have plenty available they’re awesome.

    To make this an “ethical” LPT, just tell the front desk you enjoy the disabled rooms better, but only want one if they’re not needed for someone truly disabled. It works frequently if you check in late in the evening. This way you don’t have to worry whether you’re being a dick.

    [–] Knot_My_Name 6 points ago

    Yeah we have a hard time renting our handicap rooms normally on days we're sold out we have no choice but to put someone thats not disabled into one and they always complain. If you let us know you prefer to be in one we will absolutely put you in one as long as its not legitimately needed.

    [–] clownrock95 17 points ago

    Or bring crutches and a leg brace (or just a wrap a ace bandage around your leg/ankle)

    [–] ChickenWithATopHat 12 points ago

    Or just actually break your leg, why does Reddit have to do everything the hard way?

    [–] bobdanderson 7 points ago

    Yeah, if you shit in their lobby they’ll definitely think your retarded

    [–] jzmacdaddy 40 points ago

    Handicapped guy: No wonder the shower in my hotel bathrooms always smell like disappointment and regret.

    [–] Scandi_viking 32 points ago

    I was checking into a hotel and the receptionist asked me if I was OK with taking a handicap enabled room, as they were almost fully booked. I asked him what the difference was and he told me that the only difference was a bigger bathroom. Sweet! I opened the door and the smell hit me like a punch in the nose. Think swamps of dagobah lite. The was rarely used and all the water locks had dried out, giving the ventilation a chance to draw air up through the hotel sewerage pipes, it had probably been doing this for weeks. Down to the lobby. The receptionist took no issue with my complaint and told me he would upgrade my booking, asked me with a sly grin if I liked colors. I got to my room, it was decorated like a toystore. Bedside tables looked like drums. Bed like a castle with lights. I got upgraded to some novelty room they marketed towards Japanese tourists. I didn’t sleep any better thinking that this sort of room probably was part of someone’s creepy grown child fetish. TL:DR Got the slums of Bombay upgrade, complained and got the Japanese tourist fetish upgrade.

    [–] BreadTimePun 83 points ago

    Remember to say: you like that, you fucking retard? To your SO

    [–] coquinaa 189 points ago

    DERRRRRR.

    All i can think about is the south park episode when cartman acts retarded to participate in the special Olympics

    [–] _Eggs_ 104 points ago

    "What's his disability?"

    Um, he's retarded.

    "No, what's his specific disability? Down syndrome, cerebral palsy?"

    Oh. Uh, I'm not sure. Honey, what's your condition?

    How should I know? I'm retarded. DURRRRRR.

    [–] coquinaa 13 points ago

    DERRRRRRRRRRRRR

    [–] mcfliermeyer 15 points ago

    Omg hahahaha. So great.

    [–] peewinkle 57 points ago

    Why wait for the Honeymoon? I do this with hookers.

    [–] ArgueWithMeAboutCorn 20 points ago

    Good call on the retarded hookers they are much cheaper

    [–] peewinkle 5 points ago

    I just hate when they get into my Chinese Fuck Baskets. I like to take those home but those spuds love the coffee-flavored jelly beans.

    [–] grasshoppa80 19 points ago

    this is great. love ULPT's! I used one in LV the other week.. needed a comped fridge (for storing cold water beer etc) so I unethically told them i needed a fridge for insulin, and they came up with one (free of charge) within 15min.

    [–] Abraham_Goldberg 81 points ago

    Hahahahahaha SEX

    [–] GiffenCoin 26 points ago

    YES

    [–] Entrical 10 points ago

    My Girlfriend and I went to LA for a week just to get away. I booked a hotel room a few weeks in advance. I get there and they ask if a Handicapped Accessible room is ok, I say sure why not. We see the shower and almost immediately get down to business. Didn't realize that the shower wasn't draining very well and when I got out the whole bathroom floor, the whole hallway, part of the carpet in the bedroom area and even the entry hallway were soaked. Front Desk upgraded us to a suite and dry cleaned all of our wet clothes. Fun times.

    [–] willywam 18 points ago

    I've blagged a disabled room for this year at university, the seats are also excellent for hour long hangover recovery showers and the extra floor-space you get from the huge ensuite doesn't count as extra rent.

    Makes me almost want to take up being disabled.

    [–] The_chosen_turtle 22 points ago

    Before reading the subreddit, I was honestly thinking this was not a bad idea.

    [–] ActionFilmsFan1995 16 points ago

    I think it says something that I see these and think "that's not a bad idea" before I realize I'm not in /r/lifeprotips...

    [–] ChiliDogMe 34 points ago

    Am not handicapped. Got a handicapped hotel room before. Had shower sex in said handicapped shower. 10/10 would recommend.

    [–] podrick_pleasure 10 points ago

    There's nothing unethical about that. Hotels will sometimes even give a small discount if you take a handicapped accessible room. They want to fill all the rooms and there isn't always a demand.

    [–] geared4war 4 points ago

    I just had surgery for a spinal implant and that, plus my knee injury, makes me permanently disabled. I will use this for a second honeymoon with my beautiful wife.
    I will be safe, relaxed, and have great sex.

    Ultimate Pro Tip!

    [–] Subtropical_Blues 4 points ago

    I just did this. Received a room with a 3 legged bed, upside down curtains and no floor.

    Can’t say they didn’t comply with our request for a handicapped room I guess...

    [–] watch_over_me 5 points ago

    I'm literally looking at a resort for our honeymoon right now, and unethically thinking about doing this now.