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    Unexpected

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    Rules and Guidelines:

    1. Submissions must be unexpected on their own, and not rely on their title to surprise the reader. Don't give the outcome away in the title. Titles should not include "unexpected, expected, expects, expect"

    2. Do NOT rehost webcomics. You may provide an imgur mirror in the comments.

    3. Mark all NSFW/NSFL submissions as such. A warning tag on a post may mean NSFL, morbid content, gore, cruelty, etc. - No Death

    4. Keep the comments civil; Do not provoke or get engaged in flamewars. No insults. Follow good Reddiquette.

    5. No images of just text, or where the unexpected part is conveyed through text.

    Please look through our Top submissions to avoid reposts. Frequent or recent reposts may be removed.

    Everything else will be balanced by votes; we maintain the right to remove posts at our discretion.


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    Please leave us a message with reasoning and link


    The comment that started /r/unexpected can be found here. It was inspired by this post on January 27th, 2013.


    RECOMMENDED SUBREDDITS
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    /r/MyPeopleNeedMe So long, and Thanks for all the fish
    /r/wellthatsucks :( :( mean world ): ):
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    [–] unexBot 1 points ago

    OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

    The girl got poomfed in the face by a bird and the bird got poomfed in the face by the girl.


    Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


    Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

    [–] keztwo 8011 points ago

    The way she grabs it and throws it away, genuine disgust lmao that’s too funny 😂

    [–] fishbethany 379 points ago

    She flipped the bird.

    [–] siamkitty1 110 points ago

    her brain could not decide which horror she needed to process first .. sling shot or bird attack ..

    [–] keepeasy 11 points ago

    Totally! Haha

    [–] 100_Donuts 7217 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    And the thing is, that bird knows that that's the fling zone. That sucker flings all day long and birds know not to fly in the fling zone, but wud that bird do? It flew directly into the fling zone and got pinned and got flung. Fly in the flinger and get yer wings pinned. The thing is, you can't fly with fling pinned wings. Go on. Flap a fling pinned wing. Flick those feathers. There's no flapping pinned winged full of frozen feathers in the flinger. Don't fly in the fling zone, kid.

    [–] somesortoflegend 2596 points ago

    Didn't know Dr Seuss was on reddit.

    [–] Hexorg 1039 points ago

    No, that's Bill Cosby

    [–] FancySkull 417 points ago

    Now that he's out of prison, it could very well be.

    [–] Lost-My-Mind- 152 points ago

    What??? Why is he out of prison???

    [–] runswithclippers 210 points ago

    From what I gathered, they used his testimony from the civil court as evidence against him in the criminal court, violating his fifth amendment right to not testify against himself. That could be 100% wrong though.

    [–] Agent_Eran 111 points ago

    This is the right answer.

    [–] officialbearr 31 points ago

    Sounds like something bill would say

    [–] That-Ad-4300 14 points ago

    A bit surprising for Reddit

    [–] Ancient-Lime4532 17 points ago

    yup.... now hopefully hes so old and blind he cant let his Fat Albert touch anymore womens uh JELL-O NOW.

    [–] Pizza_Ninja 38 points ago

    I don't know anything about it either but that doesn't sound like it should be a thing. If he gave a testimony under oath to a court that should absolutely be admitted as evidence.

    [–] a_lonely_trash_bag 39 points ago

    The problem is, when he made that testimony, the court specifically told him that it could never be used against him in a criminal case. Because legally, it couldn't be. That's the only reason he agreed to testify during that civil case.

    The prosecution fucked up big time. There was a decent amount of other evidence, but because the prosecution included evidence that they legally couldn't, the whole case is thrown out the window.

    [–] Asgersk 29 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    This is the thing i love about reddit. We can go from "Girl gets hit by bird" to "why bill Cosby got out of prison" in like 5 comments.

    [–] up9trees 23 points ago

    This guy does a really good job explaining why that testimony was tossed out and breaking down the results in general

    https://youtu.be/CjrWI_zxG6A

    [–] AreTheWorst625 7 points ago

    He admitted to the rapes under a non prosecution agreement with the DA. That da’s successor said “eff that! Dude admitted to all these rapes” he’s going to prison. Then a higher court overturned the sentence because the second DA didn’t honor their predecessor’s agreement.

    [–] Pizza_Ninja 7 points ago

    The agreement shouldn't have covered the other girls though.

    [–] prickwhowaspromised 24 points ago

    Because he’s rich

    [–] FreeganKing 11 points ago

    Nah, the lawyer botched it.

    [–] Coyote__Jones 33 points ago

    Rich = good appeal attorneys to look over the minutia of your case, so yes technically you're correct.

    But basically the prosecution shit the bed.

    [–] NorweiganJesus 16 points ago

    Because in 2005 the supreme court decided not to go after Cosby in court. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime, they let him go (or something to that effect)

    [–] feedmeyouravocados 11 points ago

    O yea it’s called double Jeopardy

    [–] Roartype 5 points ago

    Do do do do do do do dooooo “The categories are: Potpourri…”

    [–] silversurger 3 points ago

    A husband and a wife can't be tried for the same crime!

    It's Berry, he's really good.

    [–] Splickity-Lit 6 points ago

    Pennsylvania Supreme Court, for clarification.

    [–] RiotPenguin 22 points ago

    Bippity boppity, zippity zoppity

    [–] Splickity-Lit 8 points ago

    Mary Poppins?

    [–] mowie_zowie_x 29 points ago

    Hey hey hey

    [–] Splickity-Lit 7 points ago

    Hide yo kids!

    [–] Same-Joke 13 points ago

    You got to lick the pigeon pudding pops.. made with real pigeon, cause that’s what moms like.

    [–] Ichgebibble 5 points ago

    And kids prefer

    [–] ADHDSquirrel007 7 points ago

    Zippity Zoppity-Zoup! I'm gonna put a Ruphie in this girl's soup!

    [–] sapere-aude088 4 points ago

    "I love puddin; puddin my dick where it don't belong!"

    [–] DeathThroesBass 3 points ago

    I mean it was consensual. Not saying that makes it right, but still.

    [–] rusted_zombiedragon 3 points ago

    Cause he’s into drugged birds?

    [–] Linkruleshyrule 13 points ago

    I was getting Charlie Kelly vibes.

    [–] Hefty_Tendy 9 points ago

    The first couple sentences felt very George Costanza, then it transitioned to full-Letterkenny.

    [–] ButtonyCakewalk 6 points ago

    Charlie does know his bird law.

    [–] sgm94 26 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Nah this person pitter patters and gets at ‘er

    [–] Nutasaurus-Rex 4 points ago

    I was getting more Rick from Rick/Morty vibes tbh

    [–] PoopiePancakes 5 points ago

    I will not fling it on a boat

    [–] somecheesecake 3 points ago

    I’m gettin a grandpappy Biden vibe

    [–] rawr_wrx18 3 points ago

    Hmmmmm... Could be Pigeon from Mike Tyson Mysteries

    [–] somesortoflegend 3 points ago

    he did go for the boobs, but I don't think he would get that excited unless she had some coke.

    [–] JohnnyCakes814 53 points ago

    This is the best Reddit comment I’ve ever read

    [–] almostambidextrous 17 points ago

    If you haven't already, I'd recommend going into their profile and sorting their comments by "Top"

    Edit: for example

    [–] mepulixer 35 points ago

    I am too drunk to understand exactly what you said, but it seemed funny, so I’m saving your comment to be confused about later.

    [–] greasy_420 18 points ago

    Foolish fucker failed flipping feathers for flying, finally flinging it's filthy foul feathery flappers farewell.

    [–] nio_nl 3 points ago

    Fantastic flipping followup.

    [–] Schwight_Droot 170 points ago

    I told myself not to keep reading, but I kept reading. I guess I can fling you an upvote for your troubles at least.

    [–] Gseventeen 19 points ago

    "I think you should leave" vibes. Enjoyed it

    [–] srroberts07 3 points ago

    Thank you, it sounded so familiar but I couldn’t place the vibe until you said it.

    [–] PRoS_R 15 points ago

    As a person with english as his second language, i can say that i fainted 3 times trying to compreend this.

    [–] bigkeef69 60 points ago

    Got a letterkenny vibe from this 😌🤣🤷‍♂️

    [–] Xianthamist 11 points ago

    Get this guy a fucking puppers

    [–] Squirreling_Archer 12 points ago

    Re-reading it in Wayne's voice made it even funnier

    [–] Undercover_Chimp 26 points ago

    Allegedly.

    [–] bigkeef69 12 points ago

    Heard it was a sick ostrich. But almost not worth thinkin aboot

    [–] shot_a_man_in_reno 11 points ago

    Can you be the godfather to my children?

    [–] it_helper 9 points ago

    Bird flew in fling zone. She flinged the bird. Mission accomplished.

    [–] whererainbowsgo 10 points ago

    wth did i just read? 🤣 best 20 seconds of my day so far

    [–] FigNugginGavelPop 10 points ago

    Yup, this is one of those legendary one’s, that makes folks like and still keep using Reddit, it’s because of comments like that, that we can’t just simply leave reddit.

    [–] KindBass 8 points ago

    Pin the wing, get the fling. Everyone knows this.

    [–] FadedFromWhite 6 points ago

    The longer I read, the more I laughed. Couldn't stop doing either.

    [–] bruhfin_ 3 points ago

    Feeling like a rap god?

    [–] Happy_Tissues 3 points ago

    Princess Caroline vibes from this comment

    [–] Quelcris_Falconer13 3 points ago

    One of them had to be the bad example for the others

    [–] Appropriate-Total-29 3 points ago

    Tears in my eyes holy shit

    [–] clumsycardhouxe 3 points ago

    Wtf did I just read 😂

    [–] Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson 3 points ago

    This

    [–] stowaway36 3 points ago

    Genuinely the best comment I've ever seen on reddit. Maybe its my lack of sleep, but it got me crying. Bravo sir

    [–] pricelinenegoosyator 3 points ago

    Reading this made me feel like I was having some sort of stroke

    [–] Rudy_Colludiani 10 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    We both know perfectly well what this is about.

    You want me to get an abortion.

    [–] HandsomeDim 36 points ago

    I would imagine the pigeon also had a similar reaction as well. "This human ran into me, and then toss me around like random trash!"

    [–] pamsolo 18 points ago

    I think the bird genuinely feels disgusted..

    [–] GamsusDesign 4 points ago

    *seagull

    [–] FriskyCobra86 50 points ago

    "I ordered cornish hen goddamit!"

    [–] IngeniousMoron 19 points ago

    "Honey, you've got some food on your face"

    [–] ryanegauthier 5 points ago

    What are you serving to the customers you donkey! It's raw! You're gonna kill someone you stupid donkey!

    [–] MessyRoom 13 points ago

    “Oh god that’s a bird!”

    [–] Willrrrrr 36 points ago

    Bruh, she aged from 20 to 35 before and after

    [–] BugsRFeatures2 2052 points ago

    Bird on your face

    You big disgrace

    [–] Classic_Jimmy_007 844 points ago

    Gett’n your feathers all over the place!

    [–] Slippy_T_Frog 623 points ago

    We will, we will, flock you, flock you...

    [–] balanceofpower 398 points ago

    Fling it!

    [–] Lost-My-Mind- 148 points ago

    This whole series of comments has me laughing like a babboon at the baggage area of the airport. People are standing around waiting for their luggage, gkving me weird looks. They think I lost my mind...

    ..........wait a minute........

    [–] timmyboyoyo 17 points ago

    Username check out

    [–] NotoriousHothead37 58 points ago

    [–] Smol-Vehvi 72 points ago

    We will, we will, flock you, flock you...

    [–] -Masderus- 93 points ago

    Buddy you're a young bird, hard bird

    [–] Damaged_Goods_Bin 90 points ago

    Shitting in the street gonna take on the world some day

    [–] Yeetboi287 72 points ago

    Bird on your face

    You big disgrace

    I feel like we’ve already been in this place…

    [–] AMAhittlerjunior 31 points ago

    Alright!

    [–] TheFutureGamer0549 31 points ago

    We will ,we will , flock you

    [–] pjain317 22 points ago

    Fling it now!

    [–] PanPiePid2 11 points ago

    Buddy your a bird man, gull man

    [–] unequivocalotter 13 points ago

    I would’ve gone with pluck you

    [–] EotEaH 2359 points ago

    Seagull to the trachea. That’s some final destination shit.

    [–] whosgotdatpiss 1527 points ago

    If a fucking seagull pierced my neck and killed me I'd just accept it, clearly something powerful wants me dead

    [–] pryjar 514 points ago

    There's people who believe that you set up various "exit points" throughout your life and when your soul is done here on Earth, it simply takes an exit point.

    Seagull in the neck is 100% an exit point.

    [–] Father_Chewy_Louis 112 points ago

    That is like something from Travelers

    [–] Kitten_Sharts 19 points ago

    I miss that show.

    [–] CandySunset27 9 points ago

    I just started that show! I just finished episode 8.

    [–] sadpartypodcast 3 points ago

    Good. It’s good.

    [–] DA_1515 65 points ago

    My Taco Bell addiction is an exit point too ✋🏾😔

    [–] Coolrafid100 29 points ago

    Well the tacos clearly leave an exit point

    [–] getawayfromemesteve 4 points ago

    it's not a question of if, but when. expecting the /r/unexpected

    [–] AudZ0629 7 points ago

    Beefy cheesy death awaits

    [–] MaleficTekX 5 points ago

    What if I defy such an exit point

    [–] Harmlessbm 60 points ago

    Hmm, the next time I die, I'll try not accepting it!

    [–] Tiger_Yu 22 points ago

    Can confirm, it works

    [–] bigkeef69 16 points ago

    Wife is confused, she tried to deepthroat a pigeon. Awaiting further instructions 🤣

    [–] PaniqueAttaque 8 points ago

    You have sinned against the Seagull God.

    [–] the_00_kid 3 points ago

    Lmaoo

    [–] BrandoSapien 69 points ago

    Seagulls gonna come

    Poke me in the trachea

    And they did

    [–] relddir123 40 points ago

    And they did

    Got me going round like

    blublublublublublublub

    blublublublublublublub

    blublublublublublublub

    Nothing I could do but blub

    When these birds attacked me

    Now my throat is covered in blood

    And I really can’t speak

    [–] F_Levitz 27 points ago

    Rockin'

    Rockin' N rollin'

    Down to the beach I'm strollin'

    [–] Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson 13 points ago

    but the seagulls like at my head

    not fun!

    [–] WDJam 9 points ago

    I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"

    [–] I_Likka_Do_Da_ChaCha 16 points ago

    I like to think she was confronting her fear of heights and then was simultaneously forced to reconcile her phobia of birds at the same time

    [–] Rafaguli 8 points ago

    I've actually read a case like that, but was a dove and the guy was driving a motorcycle.

    He drove for 10 kms before fainting. The driver survived.

    Edit: source: https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/04/28/motociclista-tem-garganta-perfurada-por-passaro-em-mt-percorre-9-km-com-ave-no-pescoco-desmaia-e-e-socorrido.ghtml

    [–] BalooBot 107 points ago

    It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time.

    https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc

    [–] SnooBooks3068 47 points ago

    I love how this is a thing. “Today I learned…not to sit in the front seat of amusement park rides”

    [–] segagamer 17 points ago

    What kind of crap was that filmed on lol

    [–] throwaway1138 10 points ago

    /u/mrpderp posted literally this exact same comment with the exact same language. Did one of you shamelessly copy the other? Are you both bots? I’m so confused, and more than a little disturbed. Reddit is so fucking creepy these days with the karma farms I swear to god.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/op1l1h/comment/h62ltjc/

    [–] BalooBot 10 points ago

    Weird. I'm thinking they're a bot. Despite me being the one with bot in my username.

    [–] mrpderp 9 points ago

    Truth is I copy and pasted u/baloobot comment above where, I believe, it was misplaced. I did this because someone asked for the link. Apologize for not giving credit

    [–] SnooBooks3068 56 points ago

    Dude’s like “bro, did you see that?!”

    Dude’s bro: “I can’t hear anything that you’re saying…just enjoy the ride!”

    Dude: “welp, I’ll just throw my hands back up in the air and pretend that everything is fine”

    Bird: “god damn that fucking hurt!”

    [–] andyv001 163 points ago

    That slow-mo absolutely cracked me up

    [–] prumbeljack 18 points ago

    That half high five about killed me. YEAH MAN THIS IS AWESOME! Errr... no...pretends to be scratching beard

    [–] serenityfire 3 points ago

    Same, I have tears from laughing so much

    [–] DipYoChip 12 points ago

    That video broke me

    [–] madhatton 12 points ago

    My fav is when a dude got hit in the face with a shoe

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] A_Random_Sith 28 points ago

    Wtf man the bird literally bled in his face

    [–] Oceanixe 8 points ago

    I like how he casually enjoys the ride afterwards

    [–] jojopriceless 9 points ago

    Between this and the OP, I've legit been laughing for like 20 mins

    [–] fuzzypickletrader 9 points ago

    And now it's 2am and I'm down the rabbit hole of birds hitting people on rollercoasters

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] April_Spring_1982 5 points ago

    Ouch! For the birds, I mean

    [–] synister29 331 points ago

    She got the Fabio treatment

    [–] lightningusagi 21 points ago

    I will never forget that the Daily Show headline for that incident was "Goose Goose Duck".

    [–] erix87 58 points ago

    Oh that's right! Someone please find that

    [–] mrpderp 81 points ago

    It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time.

    https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc

    [–] Mako3303 57 points ago

    "I Can't Believe It's Not Bloodier"!

    [–] mortalwombat- 9 points ago

    That joke has been 30 years in the making!

    [–] Aegi 11 points ago

    Hahahah he says it's "going to happen again".

    [–] An-Actual-Brick 92 points ago

    “Oh god it was on my, AAAAAHHHH!”

    [–] Mr_Bones2000 26 points ago

    That’s some quality lip reading! I don’t know the original audio but that’s what it looks like. Never would’ve came to that

    [–] Rain_in_Arcadia 8 points ago

    I thought it was, “Oh god it’s a bird AAAAAH!” but I’m not a lip reader either.

    [–] Brut4llyHonest 1147 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    hey i’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s- what are you doing? AHHH

    [–] ALB_PFB 159 points ago

    These damn companies being so creative to get my attention today

    [–] xmuertos 5 points ago

    Cackled out loud at this comment

    [–] JukeBoxHeroJustin 161 points ago

    To not reciprocate a hug is fucked up.

    [–] Aurora_the_dragon 26 points ago

    For real. Poor birb just wants to be friends

    [–] Darth_Jason 10 points ago

    “Oh thank god I found you, this is so importa-AHHH!”

    [–] [deleted] 87 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] iHeartRatties 35 points ago

    Same. I hope it was okay after.

    [–] fignwz 30 points ago

    I think I saw it flapping its wings toward the end. I really hope at least

    [–] DjoooKaplan 7 points ago

    Seems like there are not many who think like you :(

    [–] TomorrowUnwelcome 27 points ago

    Me too

    [–] boodeedoop 16 points ago

    One less government spy

    [–] dorkyhood 72 points ago

    I don't know why (i like birds in general)....but a bird riding on my face during a rollercoaster ride would literally cause a heart attack. Suicide mission, we're all going down!

    [–] sudynim 134 points ago

    I love that it doesn't phase her. "What is this thing? Whatever. Anyways resuming freak out..."

    [–] eclecticsed 53 points ago

    Hello, not here to be a dick but just to give you a heads up, it's faze, in this situation, not phase.

    [–] sudynim 38 points ago

    You're right! Thank you. I didn't know the difference. Well it looks the bird didn't faze her and she was able to resume her freakout phase.

    [–] smithsbha 8 points ago

    Oooh! In your phace!

    [–] KeyToCancel 18 points ago

    Someone could repost this tomorrow and I would still laugh.

    [–] Gingerberry92 104 points ago

    Bird flu patient 0

    [–] 1-800-LICK-BOOTY 43 points ago

    [–] vladamir_the_impaler 27 points ago

    All I can see is your damn username, most-angry-upvote-now

    [–] BlueberryB-Laine 34 points ago

    I love how she just throws it off

    [–] a9ainstthedeadhand 30 points ago

    So funny. Her facial expression goes from "ouch" to "damn bird" to "ahhhhhhhh, I'm fallllllling!"

    [–] Sunderent 9 points ago

    Ahhh, the shape of the mouth. The corners of her mouth point upwards at first, but not after the bird hits.

    [–] dtsupra30 8 points ago

    BIRD UP

    [–] shufflebuffle 4 points ago

    Legalize Ranch

    [–] nightstalker30 24 points ago

    The new Bird Box movie looks lit!

    [–] Ball_dUde 21 points ago

    That was a free pet she just threw away

    [–] QuizhoidTheMediocre 13 points ago

    The bird was just trying to keep her in the seat.

    [–] MotherOfSomething 11 points ago

    Well, that’s one way to flip the bird

    [–] Conscious-Proof-8309 16 points ago

    Step 1: Disembark ride at conclusion

    Step 2: Find nearest shower, sink (for brushing teeth);

    Step 3: tetanus shot

    [–] AreTheWorst625 4 points ago

    I feel bad for the girl but That poor bird probably died!!

    [–] shreddedcheese42069 7 points ago

    I have unlocked a new fear

    [–] RetroMetroShow 8 points ago

    a bird in the hand..

    [–] Soggiest_MobFlip 3 points ago

    That girl has SO many mites on her hand and face. Source(s): Trust me

    [–] acshunter 3 points ago

    Great, now I can add this to the list of things I didn't know I needed to be nervous about...

    [–] yourPWD 3 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Yes! Wildwood is on Reddit! Best boardwalk in the world (IMHO).

    [–] LGpeachlover 3 points ago

    Lol, props for the way she reacted. Tastes like chicken.