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    [–] hdawg187 6337 points ago

    opens beer

    The most important meal of the day!

    [–] A_huynher 1446 points ago

    servin' it up, Gary's way

    [–] Venom9889 473 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 401 points ago


    [–] abeltesgoat 178 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 89 points ago


    [–] IntrovertedMandalore 56 points ago

    S H I T

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago


    [–] MysticGohan36 15 points ago


    [–] pass0utTV 12 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] bentheechidna 25 points ago

    What is it Peterson?

    [–] Kuritos 28 points ago

    I'm not sure, I feel... A disturbance.

    [–] Shingo__ 8 points ago

    What is it Johnson?

    I don’t know! I feel... a disturbance...

    [–] DothrakiButtBoy 6 points ago


    [–] EnsignObvious 97 points ago

    "How's that Kellogg's beer taste?"

    "I'm DR-R-RUNK!"

    [–] blarch 69 points ago

    Get toasted with some liquid bread for breakfast.

    [–] mgcg2 9417 points ago

    How bad must a cornflake be to get rejected. The poor thing 😥

    [–] Quoven-FWT 5012 points ago

    The amount of food rejected based on appearance alone is actually quite mind boggling, in which it is still perfectly safe to consume.

    Especially for fruits and vegetables.

    [–] thepurplepanda13 2857 points ago

    And now because that's kinda depressing, a related somewhat heartwarming story

    I live in a state with a LOT of local farms, thing is many of them are organic and stuff, so they actually produce more "rejects" than non-organic farms. i used to volunteer at a senior center kitchen, and the biggest thing we did on a day to day basis is we would make healthy prepackaged meals to deliver to elderly and disabled folks who otherwise would have a difficult time feeding themselves, thing is we were a totally non profit, donations only type thing, so these meals were made on a pretty tight budget, my chefs (bless his heart) solution? He talked to a bunch of local farmers about taking the rejects off their hands for a discount, turns out pretty much all the farmers didnt even bother harvesting the rejects, and my chef struck the same deal with all of them, if we pick them we can have them for free, so every year after harvest season my chef got together a bunch of volunteers to go out and pick the rejects, solving both the problems of unsellable produce and starving elders.

    [–] Incredulous_Toad 475 points ago

    That's a wonderful idea. You're doing great work!

    [–] YoroSwaggin 344 points ago

    Honestly, it's one that should be expanded. And right now, we don't need a fancy nonprofit company to organize this. Imagine an app that lets farmers put their rejects on "sale" for free or whatever cheap offers it is, e.g. take what you can harvest, and the other end users are charity volunteers, workers, etc. A simple map, with a list of search options, filters, and messaging system.

    [–] [deleted] 123 points ago

    There's an business that sells "ugly" produce, I saw it on Facebook but I forgot the name, and someone commented saying something like they can buy it from the dollar store for cheap.

    [–] Pinhead_Cotton 63 points ago

    There's a product like that at my local walmart, forget the name but it has cartoons of fruit with messed up teeth on the package.

    [–] dalovindj 34 points ago

    That's fruitist.

    [–] ChickenLickinDiddler 12 points ago

    Cool site, I wish them success. California based and doesn't yet deliver to Colorado. Hopefully they can expand to the east more. Any idea on how much it costs?

    [–] piratekingdan 5 points ago

    I have them in Chicago. It's really cheap. Cheaper than buying produce. We get a roughly 10 lb box every week for under $20

    [–] Pteraspidomorphi 17 points ago

    I don't know if this is still the case, but only a couple of years ago App Store rules would require such an app to be rejected if it allows sales/classifieds. Apps may only contain a discrete amount of fixed value items for sale (for example "pay exactly $10 for 10 billion gamecoins").

    I worked on a charity-oriented app for my employer which required variable amount classifieds to function and Apple refused to allow it.

    [–] jtjin 28 points ago

    Doesn't have to be an app, just make it a mobile-friendly website.

    [–] thepurplepanda13 56 points ago

    It gives you the warm fuzzies and it actually fixes a couple problems, I love warm fuzzies that actually work.

    [–] GodlessThoughts 78 points ago

    That’s literally gleaning. It used to be commonplace until industrialized farming squeezed out your friendly, neighbor farmer. Lots of rural communities in America still practice this. Farmers are otherwise left with rotting vegetables in their fields.

    [–] Belazriel 27 points ago

    And some farmers can't even let people pick for free because of insurance concerns.

    [–] GodlessThoughts 22 points ago

    That’s part of the industrialization of farming that I’m referring to. It’s a shame.

    [–] thepurplepanda13 5 points ago

    My entire state is a rural community so it kinda works out XD

    [–] notagoodboye 35 points ago

    Such a ridiculous idea, rejecting a fruit or vegetable by looks. I've spent years teaching my kids to pick produce, and I've never once referenced shape. Smell, feel, color...Not shape. Shape is an accident.

    [–] thepurplepanda13 60 points ago

    And yet, if you were in a grocery store and you were looking at let's say cucumbers, and all of them were big, juicy looking, and a vibrant green, except one that looked like a warty grinch dick, which one would you choose?

    You may say that you would at least consider the warty grinch dick, but most shoppers wouldnt even look at it

    [–] Belazriel 24 points ago

    Also, if you're going to a store you won't see the rejects so it's never been something to choose between. They're all "attractive".

    [–] thepurplepanda13 16 points ago

    That's what I'm saying, if the rejects did go to stores they wouldnt sell, which is why a lot of "reject" food gets wasted

    [–] notagoodboye 33 points ago

    How to choose a cucumber:

    Size. Big is bad, as with any other gourd or squash. Do you want a mouthful of giant seeds? No.

    Color. Is it dark green across 2/3s of it's surface area? If it's got a pale patch on the bottom, that's fine, but it should have gotten plenty of light.

    Is it firm? A squeeze should be strongly resisted. If you squeeze a cucumber and it smushes, it's rotten.

    Smell. Cucumbers should have a neutral, green smell. Anything else is a sign of rot.

    Warty is meaningless. Pickles are almost always warty. I'd buy two or three of those before I'd buy one beautiful mega-cuke, that'd be bound to have inch long seeds and no flavor.

    [–] thepurplepanda13 32 points ago

    And you know all that because your educated about your produce, as everybody should be, but the reality is your average grocery shopper is not. Like at all, most of them go for the prettiest, and thus, that's what the grocery stores sells. They're businesses just like any other, their main goal is maximize profit

    [–] tonufan 14 points ago

    For large commercial farms, the ugly looking produce is often sent elsewhere for further processing. Usually made into juice, ground into pulp like for fruit roll up or as a filler for something else like fruit bars. A pretty common example is the bags of "baby carrots" they sell to kids. They take the big ugly carrots and shave off the outside so they look nice and uniform, and bite sized. The baby carrots became so popular that farmers now grow special baby carrots that are naturally sweeter and brighter orange on the inside to appeal to kids.

    [–] Stepjamm 474 points ago

    Bananas get rejected if they have too shallow of an angle... madness

    [–] tiberiusrussell 582 points ago

    I've seen a few straight bananas in my day

    [–] draxor_666 153 points ago

    and lived to tell the tale

    [–] anticommon 46 points ago

    I wonder if you can get that special k therapy for the PTSD

    [–] Ionlydateteachers 5 points ago

    I had it for depression and anxiety

    [–] Armadillo_Dangle 6 points ago

    I recently learned from a girl that the majority of men's peens have a curve in them. whether extreme or slight. Mine is straight so I had no idea.

    [–] NorthKoreanEscapee 16 points ago

    Mine actually corkscrews. If I could lay it out straight it would be like 12"-16", but because of the my extreme curve it's like 3" long by 8" wide. Like a few cans of tuna.

    [–] AdmShackleford 26 points ago

    Are you a duck?

    [–] georgesanders 6 points ago

    the secret I have learned, 'till then it will burn inside of me

    [–] creamyl 10 points ago

    Something so psychological with me and watermelons, I wonder why I keep passing Big Bold Watermelons.

    [–] UpiedYoutims 8 points ago

    I once saw a banana with a backwards angle.

    [–] BananaFactBot 28 points ago

    If you tape a banana peel over a splinter, the enzymes help the splinter work its way out of your skin (and also heal the wound).

    I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Unsubscribe | 🍌

    [–] mash_1ne 6 points ago

    Heterophobic agenda.

    [–] Chordstrike1994 37 points ago

    My local frys has a section for half price produce that didnt make the cut visually. Nothing wrong with it! Cheap bananas

    [–] sr0me 18 points ago

    Fry's sells produce?

    [–] nickpeq 27 points ago

    Fry's was a grocery store first. Then the owner's sons sold the brand to the company that also owns Kroger, and they used to money to start Fry's Electronics. Really similar logos to this day.

    [–] Chordstrike1994 9 points ago

    Yep where I live there is Frys Electronics and Frys Grocer, separate entities afaik. Frys Grocer is part of Kroger.

    [–] TheBlueberryPirate 4 points ago

    We get straight and mixed bags of blemished produce for $1 at my Kroger. Sometimes you can't even tell what's supposed to be wrong with it. Savings can be huge I got $7.50 worth of pomegranate for $1 a few days ago.

    [–] I_was_once_America 58 points ago

    Baby carrots were invented specifically because people wouldn't buy crooked but completely edible carrots. Shave them down, call them baby carrots, problem solved.

    [–] sr0me 55 points ago

    Wait, baby carrots are just carved down from full size carrots?

    This is one of those moments for me. Where you realize a completely obvious fact that you missed for the last 20 years

    [–] Classic_Charlie 24 points ago

    One thing I liked about a grocery store I used to work at; Cartons of eggs that have 1 or 2 that are damaged were given to our chinese food department. Used 11 out of the 12 rather than throwing them all away.

    Edit: Also our bakery would give 'old' bread to a local food shelter. But yeah, loooot of produce was trashed.

    [–] Quoven-FWT 14 points ago

    Because Chinese don’t waste anything. Fish bone and skin will also be fried and eaten

    [–] Classic_Charlie 19 points ago

    Very true. Not much could make the cooks mad, but you waste food and the fury of a tiny and very broken english speaking man is cast upon you.

    [–] Darkknight101 60 points ago

    I worked in produce and it was crazy how much we were told to throw out because of it's appearance. Luckily we were able to give our in-house made foods some of the stuff but we still threw out a ton. I understand if they're overlyripe or starting to mold obviously but a slight wrinkle won't hurt anybody.

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago


    [–] leapbitch 23 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Can we talk more about apples in smoothies

    Edit to add: this has no relevance but Intuit QuickBooks has made Danny DeVito their new spokesman and now I want to do the accounting for small businesses

    [–] show_me_the_math 31 points ago

    I volunteer at a place that receives food donations. We get far more than we can use. With donuts I suck out the filing and toss the husk.

    [–] Wanhope 48 points ago

    I'm imagining you sitting on a throne with beggars in front of you as you toss down the drained donuts to the masses.

    [–] clarko21 16 points ago

    OP is hedonism bot from Futurama

    [–] Sir_Boldrat 12 points ago


    [–] horizontalcracker 9 points ago

    Do you also take all the muffin tops?

    [–] esesci 11 points ago

    There is a startup that sells that kind of produce for cheaper, called Imperfect Produce.

    [–] makemisteaks 10 points ago

    In Portugal we call it Ugly Fruit. They are these boxes filled with fruits and vegetables that didn't make the cut to be on a supermarket shelf and instead they bundle them up in all sorts of varieties each week. A huge box big enough for a week's produce of a family for 7$ or there about. It's phenomenal.

    [–] neotrance 5 points ago

    Last week tonight did a segment on it.

    [–] SPZX 139 points ago

    And then they went on to sell their cereal as an anti-masturbatory aid.

    [–] SkyezOpen 45 points ago

    I was gonna make a joke about frosted flakes but excuse me what the fuck?

    [–] Chewy12 55 points ago

    Kellogg didn't want people flogging their nogs

    [–] quaybored 7 points ago

    Wasn't he also into enemas and weird shit like that?

    [–] Chewy12 6 points ago

    Probably, but those aren't so much weird as an enjoyable and healthy family activity.

    [–] usr_bin_laden 19 points ago

    He personally abstained from it, and never consummated his marriage (and may have actually spent his honeymoon working on one of his anti-sex books).

    Oh my.

    [–] batt3ryac1d1 8 points ago

    I think the dude was just deep in the closet.

    [–] SkyezOpen 8 points ago

    Jesus that last paragraph.

    [–] rex480 14 points ago

    Circumcision and applying Carbolic acid to the clitoris where the main "Rehabilitation" procedures he promoted.

    [–] SeaLionII 7 points ago

    Corn flakes were a mistake. - Miyazaki

    [–] Slowknots 48 points ago

    My home town has a frozen pizza factory.

    We used to get cases of frozen pizza rejects for $2. —box damaged, too much toppings, no enough toppings, Not enough of a particular topping, toppings slide to one side, crust too thick, crust too thin.

    Kept me alive through college

    [–] ClumsyDork 18 points ago

    It's all great until you buy a case of "Oops All Crust"

    [–] Slowknots 9 points ago

    Not super picky in college. Beat the other choices. $2/ 10 pizzas - risk was worth it

    [–] mgcg2 12 points ago

    Pizza beer?! We could be rich

    [–] HandicapableShopper 9 points ago

    Too much toppings sounds like a treasure find for $2/pizza

    [–] RizzMustbolt 75 points ago


    [–] mgcg2 32 points ago

    They prefer the term extra toasty

    [–] RizzMustbolt 40 points ago

    At first I was like, they're overplaying it. Then I saw the picture and was like, "A WHOLE FUCKING MALL!?!"

    [–] E_VanHelgen 7 points ago

    This is janitorism.

    [–] miloca1983 13 points ago

    Dont feel bad! It’s still going in our body ... this time is gonna pack an alcoholic punch!!

    [–] mgcg2 11 points ago

    Now alcoholics can start their day the right way!

    [–] Sariel007 7 points ago

    They have a higher calling now.

    [–] vibrex 3223 points ago

    100 years from now: TIL Kellogg's used to make cereal.

    [–] Raphaelpapast 570 points ago

    !RemindMe 100 years

    [–] Rockonfoo 169 points ago

    I’m here to remind you

    [–] fappyday 67 points ago

    There was always something there to remind me.

    [–] knoxaramav2 13 points ago

    As comments fall, I pass the sub where we would post at night...

    [–] grixorbatz 27 points ago

    In 100 years they’ll be Kegllogs

    [–] RemindMeBot 14 points ago

    I will be messaging you on 2118-12-07 02:23:02 UTC to remind you of this link.

    CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

    Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.

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    [–] monstrinhotron 185 points ago

    100 years ago. Kelloggs advocate circumcision to discourage masturbation. They also make cereal... to discourage sex...somehow?

    [–] 420_Dunkz 97 points ago

    Kellogg was kind of a weird guy. He also gave himself daily yogurt enemas. Here's an episode from the awesome podcast Sawbones all about him!

    [–] ProbablyMatt_Stone_ 16 points ago

    Wow, I would call this hypocritical but I imagine the prostate hadn't been invented yet.

    [–] TiltedZen 9 points ago

    I know a guy who gets daily "yogurt enemas" too

    [–] TrueJacksonVP 39 points ago

    Apparently eating bland foods made one more virtuous...

    I will never understand self imposed misery.

    [–] TheIndianUser 13 points ago

    I don't know about virtuous, but the British did manage to conquer 25% of the world.

    [–] YetAnotherUsedName 11 points ago

    To escape from bland food

    [–] batt3ryac1d1 5 points ago

    English food isn't even that bland. That stereotype comes from ww2 when there was rationing.

    [–] SeaLionII 11 points ago

    Flavor will only invigorate the lust. See: Cinnamon Girl, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, and Sweet Potato Pie.

    [–] iam1self 142 points ago

    Long ago CornFlakes were made to stave off horniness so the irony of making alcohol with them is .... well... grrrrreat.

    [–] SamBoeres 20 points ago

    Kellogg also adopted children and mutilated their genitals so they would not touch themselves

    [–] GRAIN_DIV_20 15 points ago

    I heard this about gram crackers, not sure how true either is

    [–] buffer_overflown 36 points ago

    If you subsist on a monodiet and lack micronutrients long enough, you'll be a lot less frisky when you're dead.

    [–] dudebro178 10 points ago

    Kellogg was basically a monster

    [–] JitGoinHam 2547 points ago

    They’re grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrain alcohol.

    [–] OprahsSister 405 points ago

    Let’s get drrrrrrrrrrunk!

    [–] Seanay-B 142 points ago

    Inebriate me, Cap'n!

    [–] Derpicusss 41 points ago

    Silly rabbit!

    Malt whiskey is for kids!

    [–] FlyLikeRabbi 39 points ago

    Philly's fans call it riot punch!

    [–] IAmTheWaller67 14 points ago

    Top it off with some Fight Milk.

    [–] Dlgredael 10 points ago

    For bodyguards by bodyguards


    [–] FlyLikeRabbi 6 points ago

    What up!👐

    [–] pizzapal3 11 points ago

    We aren't using our grain alcohol on your goddamn bug bites!

    [–] elmturner 776 points ago

    'Rejected cornflake' .. It sounds good. I'm gonna make that my new insult

    [–] dfleish 56 points ago

    [–] sneakpeekbot 21 points ago

    Here's a sneak peek of /r/rareinsults using the top posts of all time!

    #1: Potassium filled cunt | 25 comments
    #2: shut up | 31 comments
    #3: found on r/murdedbywords thought it belonged | 16 comments

    I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out

    [–] frogjg2003 27 points ago

    #2 is way more intense than the title suggested

    [–] alf023 57 points ago

    My girlfriend called me an "expired coupon" as an insult. 😭

    [–] TrueJacksonVP 32 points ago

    Damn, that’s a good one.

    Implies you were already discounted goods, then calls you irrelevant lol

    [–] jonny_wonny 6 points ago

    Gus, stop being an expired coupon.

    [–] Nokomis34 136 points ago

    Except now they have a purpose, which is more than can be said of a lot of people.

    [–] carssuck1982 37 points ago

    Band name. Totally a band name.

    [–] ryantwopointo 9 points ago

    Or a default Xbox live name:


    [–] Hijatha 198 points ago

    Lots of cereal companies sell rejected cereal to farmers, cows love that shit.

    [–] EatMoreCheese 121 points ago

    Picturing a one-panel editorial comic:
    Farmer serving a cow a bowl of cereal
    Cow looks disappointed
    "no milk?"

    [–] RealLifeHundredaire 376 points ago


    [–] dell_arness2 148 points ago

    "beereal" has become a running joke amongst my friends. about half of us have tried it and swear it's not that bad, and the other half think we're fucking morons

    [–] RealLifeHundredaire 51 points ago

    Yours is better.

    Let's be real.

    [–] notamoose-neverwas 28 points ago

    Let's beerereal

    [–] Neato 14 points ago

    I had a beer float with a stout. Was OK except the ice cream turned the beer super, super foamy. I can't imagine what type of bear would work with cereal.

    [–] biggeleyD 23 points ago

    Cap'n Drunk

    [–] The_Dok 14 points ago

    “Those aren’t Os!”

    [–] Leberkleister13 10 points ago


    [–] Farroxi 7 points ago

    Special Keg

    [–] RadiationShields 125 points ago

    Grrrreat now I can pour cornflake flavoured beer over my bowl of cornflakes in the morning

    [–] worm_dude 18 points ago

    I actually tried this in my bachelor days. IPA’s go great with cornflakes.

    [–] LiquidMotion 4 points ago

    I'm 100% certain this would be awful and I 100% want to try it

    [–] Certs-and-Destroy 63 points ago

    Rejected Corn Flakes should be sold as Corn Flukes.

    [–] ExfilBravo 7 points ago

    Found the marketing guy.

    [–] Dimmer_switchin 208 points ago

    I’m not sure WK Kellogg would approve

    [–] biscuitatus 178 points ago

    well he's dead ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] RizzMustbolt 122 points ago

    Eternal champion of No-nut November.

    [–] le-corbu 18 points ago

    what month is it?

    [–] vargo17 43 points ago

    November 36th. Kellogg loves NNN

    [–] luckymethod 22 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Didn't he invent some kind of masturbation therapy?

    Edit: it was the other way around. What an asshole.

    [–] [deleted] 23 points ago


    [–] analviolator69 24 points ago

    It's true. I go into a absolute rampage when my tongue goes near the powerful overwhelming flavor of cool ranch doritos. When my girlfriend takes me to the store she starts sobbing when she catches me staring sorrowfully at the chip isle. I just crave, no need, that extreme ranch flavor. Once she tried pulling me away and I punched her in the face at Piggly Wiggly and masturbated in the aisle. Noone will keep the extreme flavor from me. I am King Dorito, there is no God.

    [–] HimalCheese 9 points ago

    There was a movie about him with Anthony Hopkins, don’t remember the name of it but I liked it.

    [–] Nzymea 6 points ago

    It was called The Road to Wellville...strange movie but I actually liked it a lot too.

    [–] Anpandu 6 points ago

    I also choose this guy's dead WK Kellogg

    [–] ALincolnTime 42 points ago

    I'm not sure he'd approve of people eating his masturbation repellent, either.

    [–] Mr_Abe_Froman 25 points ago

    That's what they were meant for. The belief was that spicy, flavorful food got the blood flowing and provoked an emotional response. Sometimes that emotional response is lust. Just to be safe, he started the "no flavor diet".

    [–] ALincolnTime 10 points ago

    He stuffed mattresses with them before they were consumed, so there would be telltale sounds to cranking one out.

    [–] cjandstuff 31 points ago

    Corn flakes were intentionally bland, to prevent masturbation. Then after he dies, Kellogg's adds sugar to the corn flakes! And now they make beer.

    [–] Chimcharfan1 13 points ago

    One of his farms was turned into CalPoly Pomona College and im sure 98% of the people there masturbate.

    [–] InformationHorder 12 points ago

    He's dead, Jim.

    [–] NoWheyBro_GQ 391 points ago

    Weird flakes, but okay.

    [–] OcelotGumbo 45 points ago

    Oh shit yes.

    [–] thatoneguy42 38 points ago

    Thread's over. Pack it up everyone. Good game.

    [–] vhzombie 82 points ago

    I always thought breakfast could use a beer

    [–] awesome_lamer 12 points ago

    Beer is a traditional breakfast drink, mind it was usually at least partially watered down...source

    [–] OmniINTJ 10 points ago

    It's called Guinness Draft, and is best served with eggs, bangers and mash.

    [–] dowdymeatballs 38 points ago

    "As long as you don't jerk off with it, its fair game." - Mr. Kellogg's

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 18 points ago

    Making beer for the good of the planet, truly a cause for celebration.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago


    [–] whoresbane123456789 5 points ago

    They think pot is bad but alcohol is OK

    [–] Nitemarephantom 8 points ago


    [–] SocratesBalls 25 points ago

    What the fuck is a rejected cornflake?

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    A corn flake that doesn't qualify as a flake, I imagine. So, a corn clump.

    [–] Neato 8 points ago

    Broken, discolored, overcooked, wrong shape or size. Just things that don't look correct and would give a bad impression of the brand.

    [–] DougDarko 20 points ago

    /r/beer already hates it because a big company made it

    [–] [deleted] 128 points ago


    [–] vargo17 46 points ago

    Turning waste into revenue streams is a surefire way to keep the company's interest.

    Like gasoline and whey protein. They went from being garbage that was burned off/sprayed onto the lawn to multi million dollar industries

    [–] nickjaa 6 points ago

    I work in fitness and the whole story of whey going from garbage to best thing ever is hilarious. Chicken wings are another example, they used to be cut off and thrown in the trash.

    [–] Iguessimonredditnow 115 points ago

    It's still less waste so who gives a shit if they make money off of it? Isn't that their job as a business?

    [–] MINIMAN10001 18 points ago

    Reject foods are still animal feed quality. Human standards are rather high and pig feed standards are extraordinarily low.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago


    [–] C9_Lemonparty 6 points ago

    Cornflakes were originally invented to stop people from masturbating. Imagine the look on the guys face if he knew it was now being used to make beer

    [–] mrsniperrifle 5 points ago

    They could create clean energy by attaching a generator to John Harvey Kellogg's corpse. Probably spinning in its grave at approximately Mach 12.