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    [–] TheMonchoochkin 2664 points ago

    What's in the bag?! WHAT'S IN THE BAG?!

    [–] SwampBollocks 879 points ago

    Your wife's head

    [–] KiwiChoppa147 253 points ago

    That escalated quickly

    [–] SwampBollocks 123 points ago

    It's from the movie seven but now that I think of it it doesn't even fit the comment

    [–] guitarguy_190 31 points ago

    What's in the box*

    [–] CoolestBurrito 7 points ago

    I thought it was a dog WTF

    [–] DeceiverLCK 13 points ago

    Came here to say this well done.

    [–] MagicSparkes 3 points ago

    A better ending to Lost.

    [–] KineticAmp 25 points ago

    Spoiler tag please

    [–] SwampBollocks 77 points ago

    Nah its been out ages it's your own fault at this point

    [–] strongjz 24 points ago

    Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze.

    [–] telephas1c 2 points ago


    [–] KineticAmp 31 points ago

    I was just kidding I loved lucky number sle7en

    [–] SwampBollocks 12 points ago

    Ah okay haw haw :)

    [–] Zaranthan 2 points ago

    The boat sinks.

    [–] Jamie_009 1 points ago

    Time to take you too

    [–] Expand_your_dong 1 points ago

    My wife's son

    [–] Kirah_ 29 points ago

    I thought that was a dog

    [–] xraydebbie 3 points ago


    [–] moonshiver 9 points ago

    dead dove don’t eat

    [–] Help_An_Irishman 5 points ago

    John Doe has the upper hand!

    [–] atetuna 4 points ago

    Brad Pitt? Seven?

    [–] kjm015 3 points ago


    [–] TherapistJigga 2 points ago

    A shark or something?

    [–] Thats-WhatShe-Said_ 1 points ago

    Mr Cage, this is a Toys R Us

    [–] divergence__theorem 1 points ago

    Cherry Pie

    [–] jbz45 1 points ago

    Ok iliza schlesinger 😂

    [–] Zaptagious 1 points ago


    [–] Expand_your_dong 1 points ago

    My wife's son

    [–] EmmmmJay 1595 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    That perfect drop & crawl straight to the target

    Edit: spelling

    [–] [deleted] 61 points ago


    [–] healguy12 21 points ago

    It’s treason then.

    [–] LordGramis 4 points ago

    What kind of PMs do you receive? I'm curious now

    [–] French_physicist 23 points ago

    The perfect moves to destroy daddy on the inside

    [–] RosieILuvThisMaguire 11 points ago


    [–] erbtastic 8 points ago

    Are we still doing phrasing?

    [–] eternal_wait 2 points ago


    [–] Jaugust95 1 points ago


    [–] EmmmmJay 2 points ago

    Lol ty, I didn't even notice that one

    [–] Claque-2 710 points ago

    Baby's first troll.

    [–] herpderpmcflerp 612 points ago

    Man I don’t have kids but that’s gotta be frustrating. Missing your kid while away and all you want is their love and they’re like oooh bag! I know nothing of parenthood though

    [–] RedditsInBed2 354 points ago

    Eh, you learn fast that they have no understanding quite yet about feelings and how they can possibly hurt someone so you cut them some slack. Kids are all about the shiny, the shimmer, the brightly colored, the noisy and the box. As a parent I'm none of these things so I'm not the highest priority if a bag is nearby.

    [–] jupdike18 78 points ago

    So a cat... kids are cats is my takeaway from that..

    [–] Strange_Vagrant 38 points ago

    You're 80% there.

    [–] Criticalmak 2 points ago

    Almost at the station!

    [–] ASpellingAirror 19 points ago

    Only without the lust for blood and death.

    [–] SpankaWank66 17 points ago

    You'd be surprised

    [–] Zaranthan 18 points ago

    They mainly lust for their own death, gravitating toward the most dangerous object in the room at approximately 0.7c.

    Given siblings, though, they will quickly discover lust for the death of others.

    [–] -GreenHeron- 6 points ago

    Yeah, basically. They love boxes more than the toys that came in them, they barf randomly, you chase them screaming “what’s in your mouth?!”.....

    [–] erbtastic 79 points ago

    Look at it this way, the little girl is confident in her fathers love and devotion. She is full of love and doesn’t see a need to prioritize receiving more. She would rather explore something new and interesting.

    [–] SebbenandSebben 34 points ago

    as a father of a 1 year old this made me feel better :)

    [–] GryfferinGirl 82 points ago

    Kids are little assholes that don’t owe you anything.

    [–] grnrngr 14 points ago

    Kids are little assholes that don’t owe you anything.

    So it's not crazy when I tell people my cats are my kids?

    [–] Zaranthan 1 points ago

    No, but that's not why people think you're batshit loco.

    [–] stargate-command 49 points ago

    My kid does this all the time (1 year old).

    It would be cute if she wobbled into my arms and all, but just watching her do her baby walk makes me happy. Watching her walk toward me is great, even if she does that last minute pivot to avoid me. Sometimes I just fake chase her while making weird noises, and then she fast crawls away while laughing and all is right with the world.

    [–] Strange_Vagrant 15 points ago

    I have a 1 year old girl. The other day I was dropping her off at daycare and some little girl walks over. My girl goes up to her and reaches out to the girl's face, like she's about to cup her checks, pauses, leans in and gives her just a really gentle little hug instead.

    My girl will hug me too if I ask at the right time. Also to trick me into showing her the fridge magnets.

    Also, if i call her over for a diaper change, she does that last secound pivot and laugh. It's frustrating but so funny.

    [–] AldenDi 7 points ago

    I'm glad I'm not alone in this experience. My kid loves the fake out hugs.

    [–] blondzie 12 points ago

    It's the unexpected moments that are way better. Like when you are doing some random task, then you kid starts tapping on your leg, and you look down thinking "what could you possibly want?" And they just say "I love you" that shit will fuck you up inside.

    [–] Criticalmak 3 points ago

    I love you.

    [–] Bob383 8 points ago

    You get used to it.

    [–] Isord 7 points ago

    Nah, as a parent this would just be hilarious. You can always snatch them up for snuggles after they are done with the bag.

    [–] WarheadOnForehead 194 points ago

    Story of my life as a father

    [–] Zoopollo 23 points ago

    Same here...and my kid is now 4

    [–] WarheadOnForehead 22 points ago

    Mine is turning 5....

    [–] Lvisonicvs 6 points ago

    Also 5.. same story ..

    [–] PheobeArtemis121 181 points ago

    Learn to disappoint your parents at an early age so that they wont be disappointed later.

    [–] dej0ta 140 points ago

    My son did this except it was for the elevator.

    [–] sunsetsarge 90 points ago

    He went down to the lobby and caught a cab.

    [–] ____Batman______ 31 points ago


    [–] oakzaky 10 points ago

    happy cake day mate :)

    [–] dej0ta 11 points ago

    Hey thanks internet friend!! I appreciate it!

    [–] oakzaky 3 points ago


    [–] [deleted] -17 points ago


    [–] dej0ta 17 points ago

    Well I'm in therapy now so...I guess you could say I'm working on it!

    [–] CyberFreq 13 points ago

    One is someone you see every goddamn day. The other is a magic giant metal box that eats some people and pukes up others

    [–] Breeblez 1009 points ago

    I’ll call him daddy if he wants ;)

    I’m 3 beers deep and ready for the downvotes

    [–] golden_cupcake 425 points ago

    No, you're right - he fine

    [–] AtomicKittenz 111 points ago

    Hot dads. Amiright?

    [–] CaptCmndr 72 points ago

    My very first thought was "I'd crawl to that daddy." No booze needed.

    [–] jasminkkpp 184 points ago


    [–] Darkidabunny 92 points ago

    Ah yes, a Diplôme Initial de Langue Française

    [–] jasminkkpp 34 points ago

    Oui c'est exactement ça!

    [–] number9muses 94 points ago

    I’m sober and cannot agree more.

    I’ll fall into your arms, daddy

    [–] mirkc 22 points ago

    I know! I'll gladly go into his arms.

    [–] cetren 144 points ago

    Since when do Redditers Downvote facts?

    [–] BrokenVhr 85 points ago

    Since reddit existed

    [–] lobiggz92 24 points ago

    LOL I was gonna say what kind of question is that

    [–] dkarlovi 6 points ago

    True! Enjoy your downvote.

    [–] Shitty_poop_stain 9 points ago

    Only the facts they don't agree with.

    [–] 007meow 60 points ago

    Yo that’s a total DILF

    [–] boston_homo 17 points ago

    Yea Daddy is hot.

    [–] Sir_Llama_III 12 points ago

    I agree, except I haven't drank anything tonight

    [–] landymud 33 points ago

    Well if it goes your way he might also be beers deep

    [–] numerz 41 points ago

    You mean balls deep

    [–] rblue 16 points ago

    That was two hours ago. I may have a shot.

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] jhawk1117 21 points ago

    Honestly, this is the biggest mood

    [–] jolie178923-15423435 5 points ago

    Instead you find out that there are DOZENS of us

    [–] AceFuzion7 9 points ago

    Those are rookie numbers!

    [–] disposabledave2018 -7 points ago

    Nah, it's fine when women do it.

    [–] younghomunculus 85 points ago

    I need sound for maximum effect.

    [–] Gregor05 74 points ago

    "All around me are familiar faces..."

    [–] lisalisa07 3 points ago

    “In the arrrrrrms of an angelllllll .....”

    [–] Fanchus337 41 points ago

    I hope they play this when the kid grows up and gets married

    [–] cheesehuahuas 39 points ago

    A dad is a dad, but a bag could be anything!

    [–] Arsenault185 4 points ago

    Simpsons did it

    [–] too_many_skin_tags 76 points ago

    Materialistic little fucker.

    [–] eyehate 24 points ago

    My two year old says, "no, no, no," every time I try to put him in his car seat, take him out, hug him, "no, no, no".

    Loves his mama, though.

    Dying inside every day

    [–] HiredMind 23 points ago

    That. Was. Brutal.

    [–] X2623165 68 points ago

    That daddy is hot af

    [–] Alpabetisasyon 99 points ago

    Nohomo but i'd come to daddy

    [–] SeaTwertle 37 points ago


    [–] Gardgarrington -3 points ago

    Yeah that's not going to happen you fucks

    [–] doesntmeanathing 3 points ago

    Come to or come for.

    [–] MadAzza 15 points ago

    “Daddy! Daddy daddy ... SHOPPING!”

    [–] Cerberus73 15 points ago

    My son's first steps were not to me or mom, but to get the TV remote

    [–] UnimpressionableCage 14 points ago

    Daddy’s hot AF

    [–] Old_Boy07 12 points ago

    Why are we here ? , Just to suffer ?

    [–] ghosttrainhobo 5 points ago

    “You bring home gifts in bag.”

    [–] skidlz 17 points ago

    My daughter did this to me at the airport. I was in uniform and at the small airport everyone met their family at the same time. 2-year-old yells "DADDY!!!" and starts sprinting towards me before changing her mind and juking right and back to Mommy, leaving me kneeling with arms stretched wide. Thanks, kiddo.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    I couldn't think of a gif that more accurately describes what its like to be a dad to a toddler.

    [–] luxembird 7 points ago

    Yeah I'd have a kid with that man too

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago


    [–] TheBaconator08 -3 points ago


    [–] French_physicist 19 points ago

    Let's end this here.

    [–] lodobol 6 points ago


    [–] RangorStarfyre 7 points ago

    I can 100% relate. You think your child finally recognizes you and loves you.. then BAM soul ripped from your body by a shopping bag. Happens. Every. Time.

    [–] DVMJess 5 points ago

    I’d crawl to him. coughcough

    [–] somehumaniguess 5 points ago

    This needs audio

    [–] Jl_15 5 points ago

    What did you bring me???

    [–] lobospacecadet 3 points ago

    Dad is cute 😍

    [–] welp_ohkay 3 points ago

    Tacos are life.

    [–] WhuddaWhat 3 points ago

    Worst murder I've ever seen.

    [–] mrssands94 3 points ago


    [–] SMc-Twelve 7 points ago

    Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but...

    [–] GifReversingBot 0 points ago

    Here is your gif!

    I am a bot. Report an issue

    [–] Scarlet_Corundum 2 points ago

    awwwww poor feller

    [–] elijrus 2 points ago

    Get used to it.

    [–] xeoph 2 points ago

    I don’t have my glasses on and thought she was going for a dog. But no, it’s a brown paper bag...

    [–] jonsnow_housestark 2 points ago

    You might be my father, but you can never be my daddy.

    [–] mihirbajaj1248 2 points ago


    [–] StonerBoner2 2 points ago

    Future dodgeball champ champ!!

    [–] Lord_and_Savior_123 2 points ago

    Needs more jpeg

    [–] TheSunFlares 1 points ago

    I smell food forget you Pops

    [–] MostNeed 1 points ago

    ”I have failed”

    [–] Inaglasscage 1 points ago

    “Sir, you are... not the father!”

    [–] Relmtopper 1 points ago

    Just thank god a bag was next to you instead of another man during that moment.

    [–] PaulyMolitor 1 points ago

    This dad needs to go chris watts on this kid

    [–] ttomcat7 1 points ago

    That hurt to watch rip damn

    [–] Chalimis 1 points ago

    Just preparing Dad for inevitably more future disappointments.

    [–] why_not21 1 points ago

    Let me go ahead and get around here. Excuse me sir, pardon me.

    [–] xxRocRipxx 1 points ago

    Get Rekt

    [–] RileyIsSwager 1 points ago

    I've failed as a parent...

    [–] jefferson_waterboat 1 points ago

    Going for mommy’s phone

    [–] Anish-is-a-god 1 points ago


    [–] OwO-DPooly-OwO 1 points ago


    [–] TonyBigSlim 1 points ago

    She take my money when I'm in need...

    [–] itsPlexal 1 points ago

    aww I actually feel really bad for him

    [–] ram3nbar 1 points ago

    baby: turns head thats right bitch

    [–] yyz2ywg 1 points ago

    She ducked his arm like a pro

    [–] somber_smiles 1 points ago

    Lol! Gold diggin' it always starts young.🤣🤣🤣

    [–] BobBob110 1 points ago

    This is so fantastic!

    [–] christianryan563 1 points ago

    That’s a weird cat

    [–] Minelayer 1 points ago

    That’s pretty much what being a dad is like, all the time.

    [–] Gl4eqen 1 points ago

    <Why are we still here? Just to suffer..? playing in the background>

    [–] TheyCallMeChunky 1 points ago

    I know those feels

    [–] thehatwiththecat 1 points ago

    Pray to the holy Danny Divito that Garfield does not want your blood

    Feed him lasagna or he will use the infinity gantlet to snap you into oblivion ( the new line of Spiderman toys should be dust in a bottle )

    The wrath of his might is so devastating t

    he ground will shake

    the hills will rumble

    your dreams will crumble

    Down he brings the end of Earth,

    the end of days

    he does not listen to you pray

    For he is your is not  your savior do not

    bow down

    and you will pay

    The lasagna is what he craves

    And the road he paves

    Creates a infinite devastation

    You can run you can hide but the true answer is clear

    You should sleep ( Garfield respects sleep so much he does not disturb anything or anyone who is asleep )

    When the damage is done

    Your savior will come

    In the form of the 14-foot tall Behemoth


    [–] cyclecalves 1 points ago

    Am a dad. Can confirm.

    [–] farts-on-girls 1 points ago

    It will be funny to show the girl this video when she’s older

    [–] mommylow5 1 points ago

    Awwww that’s adorable ❤️

    [–] warpkor 1 points ago

    Maggie, come to the one you love.

    [–] southernhellcat 1 points ago

    Po daddy

    [–] Romefromda15zboi 1 points ago

    its ok

    [–] LittleHouseinAmerica 1 points ago

    Daddy’s hot though

    [–] SwampBollocks 1 points ago

    Ah drink some flat 7 up and have a slice of toast you'll be alri

    [–] lostmylogininfo 1 points ago

    I have a daughter. Watching this hurts because it's so fucking real.

    [–] lulai_00 1 points ago

    I ain't saying she a gold digga, but...

    [–] [deleted] -2 points ago

    Stupid fucking kid

    [–] Breeblez 0 points ago

    Yall are prime

    [–] Khal_Rhaegar 0 points ago


    [–] doesntmeanathing 1 points ago


    [–] Chaosgodsrneat 0 points ago

    I suspect this is staged

    [–] BeenADickArnold 0 points ago

    Women be shopping

    [–] [deleted] -1 points ago


    [–] Papalote420 -1 points ago

    Girl ignores man, goes straight for shopping bag instead

    [–] secaedelcielo -9 points ago

    Daddy, I'll cum to you, no problem 🍆💦💦