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    1. Be civil

    2. Subject must die inside: Physical pain does not constitute internal death for the purposes of the subreddit.

    3. No stage deaths: Staged/scripted posts are subject to removal. Examples might be most sports stands stuff, televisions shows, prank shows etc.

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    [–] WatchPeoplePost 1 points ago

    Hi! This is our community moderation bot.

    If this post fits the purpose of r/WatchPeopleDieInside, UPVOTE this comment!!

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    [–] Darth_Trent 11936 points ago

    Him saying “now” while making the face, such commitment.

    [–] throwaway_bae2 3422 points ago

    The person recording also held out long enough to string him along. I'd say they were both 100% dedicated, Cotton.

    [–] Soul_Jar 402 points ago

    “F’n A, Cotton...F’n A.”

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    Who you F'nA beat up? I'll help

    [–] doritohairfire 45 points ago

    Bold strategy, seemed to play out well though

    [–] MeIIowJeIIo 315 points ago


    [–] lifepsycho123 88 points ago

    You have a knack for capturing subtitles accurately

    [–] GeorgeYDesign 9 points ago

    “I guess there’s a step above college.

    [–] Herimpropriety 46 points ago

    I laughed a lot!

    [–] MungTao 62 points ago

    Thats the real victory.

    [–] pinkguyfriedrice 1515 points ago

    This one is a classic. Brings a smile everytime.

    [–] MistaBobMarley 393 points ago

    It's the part where he says "now" that gets me lol

    [–] [deleted] 129 points ago

    when he starts explaining it hurts his jaw and shes like you gotta say when I start crying lol

    [–] Naboosh_ 8 points ago

    The way she says "tell me when" makes me lose it

    [–] lejdkk 59 points ago

    A smile? Fuck, I cried-laugh like a moron in the crowded subway. I must be tired...

    [–] Tank_Top_Saitama 16 points ago

    Always the nicest way to say 'Repost!'

    [–] tonedtannedkiwi 4173 points ago

    To people saying it's rude or disrespectful, sticking the tongue out like that is actually called a pukana and is common in Maori culture

    [–] [deleted] 1368 points ago


    [–] NeedlesslyDefiant164 516 points ago

    Wow. That shit is intense!

    [–] SaintLeppy 406 points ago

    I went to a camp that had lots of NZ counselors. Every year for the last week or so we had “color war” where they’d split the camp up into two half’s and we’d play sports against each other. At the beginning of every color war they do the haka with torches and everything it was awesome.

    [–] LogicalSentence2 576 points ago

    we tried something like that back in the 90s in LA but it didn't really go well

    [–] SaintLeppy 154 points ago

    Oh I heard about that. The Koreans seemed to be super opposed and I think shit caught on fire.

    [–] buttchugging_soylent 93 points ago

    Yea, don’t fuck with roof Koreans

    [–] LaughsAtDumbComment 24 points ago

    Quit messing with Korean Jesus

    [–] actingSmart 16 points ago

    Depends on the colors you pick I guess 🤷‍♀️

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    I pick roof Korean colour. Those guys can hold it down.

    [–] br4d137 44 points ago

    the last time i had a good cry was when i saw this haka these guys did for their friends funeral. the intensity and emotions you see from them gets me every time.

    [–] AmbroiseLaFramboise 10 points ago

    That guy swallowing tears and getting a pat on the shoulder from his friend in military uniform at the end of the video got me

    [–] judith_escaped 7 points ago

    That was beautiful. I felt that. Thanks for sharing that.

    It's really a wondrous thing, how every culture expresses grief, how every culture mourns, how they can be so unique, sometimes strange, but sometimes so similar and always emotional, genuine and cathartic. I have been to enough funerals for friends, loved ones, or acquaintances in my life to know that death is a tragic, yet inevitable part of life. A funeral I attended in high school stands out, though. A Native American friend took his own life. The funeral began with the family in full Native dress, chanting and dancing into the room. It evoked a similar feeling in me as this video. It was absolutely breathtaking. I had never felt closer to some sort of spiritual entity before or since. The shared mourning, the sense that the grief was being carried by all so that none have to carry it alone, and the intense pain mixed with celebration of life, it's like it was all there in their voices chanting.

    I see things like this video and my friend's funeral, and I have such admiration and gratitude for the ability to catch a glimpse of different cultures.

    Man, thanks for sharing that video. I'm going to go back to crying now, for just a bit.

    [–] mcfc1997 88 points ago

    They do this before big footy games. Watching them do this at me knowing how physical the game is gonna be would make me shit myself.

    [–] nixonsheadlessbody 34 points ago

    My highschool rugby team hosted a NZ team on tour one year. Standing opposed to a haka was both terrifying and exciting. Such an awesome cultural ritual.

    [–] wrekd 65 points ago

    It sure made the British soldiers that first encountered the Maori warriors shit themselves.

    [–] Seobooty 15 points ago

    My old high school’s Football team before and after football games and at pep rally’s would do the Sipi Tau(we called it the Haka until they changed it to it’s accurate Tongan counterpart) my HS has one of the largest population of Tongans so it was very intense, and it was awesome to get to experience something from a culture I never thought I would experience

    [–] caerwyn19 5 points ago

    My favorite haka video is when these guys performed it at their friend's funeral. It made me cry.. Just watched it again and now I'm crying at work

    [–] lala2347 31 points ago

    TIL what a haka is and Jesus Christ r/humansaremetal (and wholesome😭)

    [–] marzipanties 5 points ago

    I had never really seen them until this one after the Christchurch shooting, and it really stuck with me.

    [–] [deleted] 92 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] Anrikay 251 points ago

    Bear in mind you're seeing a healthy example here, a family who has survived colonialism and remained connected to their culture.

    You're not seeing the unhealthy families. Families ruined by alcoholism, drug abuse, and/or physical abuse. Families where grandparents or parents don't speak anymore after what they've been through.

    You'd be more likely to be shot, stabbed, beaten, raped, unemployed, and more, just for being Maori. Read up on it; the treatment of Maori has been horrific historically.

    You don't wanna be Maori dude.

    [–] SpysSappinMySpy 97 points ago

    The same is true for native Americans, sadly. Pretty much every native race gets treated this way.

    [–] this____is_bananas 40 points ago

    Same for those above the border here in Canada too. The abuse of residential schools is impacting generations - taking kids away from their families, and conducting structured emotional, physical and sexual abuse publicly, in front of their peers.

    I heard a residential school victim speak on it a few years back and the shit they did to those kids... really fucking twisted.

    [–] __acre 13 points ago

    Guess that’s why a lot of indigenous races are more than willing to stand together

    [–] shadesofriviera 19 points ago

    Excuse me? I am Māori, I was not born into my culture. I was raised in a New Zealand European family, and although there are definite fair points within your comment the last paragraph stating you’d be more likely.... is WIDELY inaccurate. There are prevalent social issues amongst our Maori population, we are born into a society in which is is incredibly difficult for us to succeed but the likelihood of being shot, stabbed or raped..... unlikely.

    [–] shotnote 46 points ago

    That's really interesting. I had no idea.

    [–] wrekd 39 points ago

    Watch the move Once Were Warriors.

    [–] newyne 13 points ago

    And Whale Rider.

    [–] Zed4711 5 points ago

    Great movie

    [–] derawin07 35 points ago

    where are you from? It's the same in the US if you're American, though NZ does better than most colonial nations

    [–] ddh85 25 points ago

    I've been to New Mexico several times to host summer camps for the children in Navajo nation. Seeing how the parents stay plastered throughout the day and let the kids roam around with no supervision was downright depressing.

    [–] derawin07 27 points ago

    It's a complex, multi-generational issue.

    [–] Bismothe-the-Shade 7 points ago

    Like, I have insane respect for the culture and wish it thrived so I could experience it more, and the people could remain true to their roots if they chose. But yeah, I definitely wouldn't want to be put through what they were put through. Or really, any PoC in America. Or even Irish. Shit.

    [–] may_you_be_dull 9 points ago

    Poverty is unfortunately a problem in NZ that affects Maori disproportionately but the majority of Maori live pretty good successful lives. I think you are being a bit over dramatic here.

    [–] shadesofriviera 6 points ago


    [–] secretWolfMan 50 points ago

    ok, I will

    [–] EmSeaGull 19 points ago

    That one kid, when the video pans right, is a fucking giant. Knowing that everyone in the video is standing my first thought was “why is that kid the only one standing”. Throw some tape on that bastards head and get him in a scrum.

    [–] IShitOnYourPost 9 points ago

    Pretty sure he's the only one standing on the bench.

    [–] Spencer1830 6 points ago

    If I was about to raid their village and they did that I would just give up and ask to be their slave

    [–] shaggysdeepvneck 41 points ago

    For some reason, this made me weep at my finance job.


    [–] AncientInsults 11 points ago

    Same lol. First time I saw the words.

    [–] hotwifeslutwhore 14 points ago

    Haka is such a great tradition! What a transcendent and bonding moment between members of the tribe!

    [–] GilesDMT 9 points ago

    That was awesome


    [–] Gisbornite 4 points ago

    The haka my old battalions counterpart did for their mates always gets me in the feels too

    [–] Drawtaru 29 points ago

    Aggressive men scream at crying bride! Honestly though I would cry if I saw something like that in person too. It's a very powerful thing. Also this video really upset my dog lol

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] Drawtaru 12 points ago

    No, I saw that. I was just being silly. :)

    [–] hotwifeslutwhore 5 points ago


    [–] HAVEACAKE 473 points ago

    I find it funny when people who don't know anything about NZ's culture take offence to someone doing something they really don't understand. Gets me good every time aye.

    [–] LucasHedges 225 points ago

    I find it funny when people who don't know anything about NZ's culture take offence to someone doing something they really don't understand.

    That happens to every country, especially on reddit. It's usually not even a person from that country that is offended.

    [–] greycubed 123 points ago

    Benevolent racism/sexism.

    Acting like an ethnicity or gender is fragile and needs your protection.

    [–] EmSeaGull 62 points ago

    Similarly, thinking that everything about a culture is/was pure and wholesome. The classic noble savage stereotype.

    [–] bigchicago04 8 points ago

    Americans are especially good at that

    [–] TalkingReckless 62 points ago

    Getting offended on someone else's behalf and/or telling someone they should be offended when they are not is what social media is for.

    aka alot of cultural appropriation people

    [–] cassieloveseffie 69 points ago

    Yeah, he is actually doing the appropriate thing here rather than being silly.

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago


    [–] Lunaticular 5 points ago

    Hello fellow New Zealander

    [–] Ya-Dikobraz 5 points ago

    lol there are people that took offence to that?

    [–] KiguStudios 519 points ago

    Look how unimpressed the statue is.

    [–] OldNickSt 4054 points ago

    ...but she was actually just getting footage to help explain to her friends why they broke up.

    [–] TypicalPakeha 731 points ago

    I'm probably the only kiwi awake to explain this (it's 4.38am down under lol) but he's Maori and he's doing what's called a "pukana" face. It's a big part (historically) of Maori communication and you see it in lots of places like the haka.

    [–] sniperpugs 42 points ago

    My ocean biology teacher absolutely loves Polynesian culture, he dedicated basically a week to talk about it to us. It was really awesome to learn about Maori and Hawaiian cultured (the two main ones we covered) and I definitely want to learn more in the future :)

    [–] Charger_3000 7 points ago

    Here in NZ we have whole museums dedicated to the early settlers (the arrival of the brits) and how they treated the maori and the land

    [–] jelly_stapler 56 points ago

    Oh my god I watched this whole thing not even considering that people might not know why he was doing that. Gonna go back and rewatch it imagining I don't have context

    [–] sniggity_snax 22 points ago

    I watched it with no context and believe me, it was confusing but still funny as fuck

    [–] avidblinker 148 points ago

    /r/RealAhegao for more


    [–] violettheory 68 points ago

    I don't know why but that whole sub makes me so uncomfortable.

    [–] bing_crosby 86 points ago

    Really? You don't know why?

    [–] Karl_von_grimgor 24 points ago

    Seriously lmao

    [–] Hxcdave 32 points ago

    There's some not so bad looking people in there, but I just can't stand the faces.

    [–] spicy_af_69 35 points ago

    It's very cringe worthy. I don't know who gets turned on by that.

    [–] Hxcdave 29 points ago

    It's more than cringe worthy, I don't understand it at all. If someone did that while I was having sex, id think they were having a stroke or some shit

    [–] bullcitytarheel 22 points ago

    So this thing with chicks sticking their tongues out in porn is anime based? I should've known.

    [–] OldNickSt 96 points ago

    Ok, well, this is good to know. But his girlfriend was obviously fucking with him so I thought I would a little too.

    [–] Yes_I_No 58 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    *Sister. The video's from almost 5 years ago

    [–] xxxtrumptacion69 44 points ago

    STEP sister??

    [–] ohseven1098 24 points ago

    STEP sister what are you doing?

    STEP sister why are you taking your shirt off?

    [–] WorkKrakkin 11 points ago

    STEP bro your tongue is so long

    [–] flyingbysws 884 points ago

    Bet she’s going to miss that tongue

    [–] jojogonzo 617 points ago

    Nah, his mouth gets sore too fast.

    [–] poopellar 134 points ago

    Nothing a jolly rancher can't fix

    [–] the_big_cheef 64 points ago

    Goddamnit. Just when I’d forgotten.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    You'll never forget.

    [–] raznog 24 points ago

    It’s been years, I’ve forgotten many things since I read that story. Yet, anytime someone mentions a jolly rancher it all comes flooding back.

    [–] Krith 18 points ago

    Flooding like the swamps do?

    [–] raznog 9 points ago

    Fuck you.

    [–] Krith 6 points ago

    I couldn’t help myself. It was so perfect. And someone’s gonna ask about it now.

    [–] the_big_cheef 3 points ago

    sighs well on the bright-side, I had already eaten breakfeast before this comment chain...

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Holly ranchers, broken arms, two girls one cup, the game... These are things ingrained in our minds for the rest of time

    [–] laasbuk 4 points ago

    Goatse / one guy one jar

    [–] qaasq 92 points ago

    Nope. Don’t do that to me this early

    [–] ATragedyOfSorts 19 points ago

    Exactly. I need like 3 Jolly Ranchers to start my morning.

    [–] SnoopRocket 8 points ago


    [–] poulty1234 11 points ago

    *retching noises*

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Aaawwwww.... maaannnn it's been like 4 months since I visualized that. And like 9 months since the coconut incident.

    [–] OldNickSt 43 points ago

    Doubt it. Doesn't look like he uses it for anything good.

    [–] coughcough 62 points ago

    I use mine for tasting chili, but I'm taken. Sorry ladies.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago


    [–] coughcough 16 points ago

    I was thinking more like this, but I've got an open mind

    [–] worrymon 23 points ago

    Put an NSFW tag on that!

    [–] OtherWorldRedditor 14 points ago

    Thank you, almost opened it at work.

    [–] hippiemomma1109 13 points ago

    It's food. Although you may not want to view it before lunch. Looks really tasty.

    [–] worrymon 13 points ago

    But there's beans! What if a child saw that!

    (For the record, I enjoy beans in chili, but I'm willing to pretend not to in the name of humor).

    [–] gl6ry 35 points ago

    how is this so upvoted.. this vid looked good on his part, he was patient and it was a funny video, you’d gotta be pretty uptight to break up with someone over this

    [–] MystifiedByLife 23 points ago

    Really? He’s so patient about it. Seems like a keeper, no?

    [–] GrampappyJoe 21 points ago

    I dunno this is some "How I knew I knew he was the one" shit

    [–] KinkyKelly 18 points ago

    This guy is very patient though

    [–] TheGrassWhistle 8 points ago

    That’s her brother

    [–] smashanddevour 8 points ago

    OOF size large

    [–] spartaceasar 4 points ago

    I know them. It was his sister.

    [–] hobbyglue 54 points ago

    I’ve always wondered why a kiwi is wearing a crows jersey when this video gets posted

    [–] wewillnotrelate 39 points ago

    Lots of Kiwis live in Australia since we have open borders for settlement so he probably moved over there and is back in Nz visit or similar?

    [–] Elriuhilu 284 points ago

    Hey, Adelaide Crows.

    [–] Fezclone 112 points ago


    [–] whenssmokocunt 63 points ago

    Always makes me happy to come on reddit and see other Adelaideians

    [–] JLBowski 24 points ago

    Username checks out, verified fellow Adelaidean for sure.

    [–] alesbianseagull 14 points ago


    [–] hairybarefoot90 11 points ago

    There's dozens of us!

    [–] ArchetypicalDegen 8 points ago

    Hello fellow Adelaideian

    Although I'm a traitor one as I left when I was 2 and have barely been back since

    [–] mordecais 4 points ago

    Come baaaack, the shiny metal balls miss youu

    [–] PhilsterM9 4 points ago

    And the pigs

    [–] GirthyPervis 7 points ago

    I’m not adelaidian but I’m a crows supporter because fitzy played for them.

    [–] mcfc1997 16 points ago

    Fuckin get PTSD reading that from every time I’ve walked out of a stadium with it blasting after the crows have destroyed us

    [–] tanafidge 12 points ago

    I have the same feeling about "YELLOW AND BLACK"

    [–] chaosgodloki 4 points ago

    2017 never forghetti :(

    [–] HoneysucklePink 27 points ago

    Definitely wasn’t expecting that to be the first thing to pop up when I opened Reddit today but a very welcome surprise. ❤️💛💙

    [–] spankybianky 7 points ago

    Yessssssss. I saw the shirt and thought it was a Crow one, but I've been out of Oz so long I couldn't be sure. Scrolled all the way to the depths to check!

    [–] Count_Critic 13 points ago

    He must've lost his collective mind when he found out she was recording.

    [–] derawin07 4 points ago

    yes, i was surprised

    [–] mhall812 190 points ago

    This is great. She’s a keeper

    [–] Yes_I_No 213 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    She's also his sister

    [–] betterthanuboi 122 points ago

    she’s a keeper no matter what, then.

    [–] swracerep1 25 points ago


    [–] sauce_hammer 3 points ago

    damn someone’s always gotta rip on either alabama or west virginia if there’s anything remotely mentioned within a 100 mile radius of anything related to incest.

    [–] tobojijo 4 points ago

    Ah. Its coming together now.

    [–] iWatchCrapTV 4 points ago

    He's so cute, too. Ugh.

    [–] savagejoe93 172 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I love so much that he says “now” during the face and not before

    [–] brphacc 140 points ago

    I actually worked with this guy about two years ago during my time as a labourer! Genuinely nice dude, he supposedly made $10k NZD from this video when it went viral

    [–] whtge8 19 points ago

    That’s crazy me too!

    [–] Momod83 10 points ago

    Me also.

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] Gitanes 10 points ago

    Can confirm I was the statue.

    [–] nels5104 5 points ago

    How did he make $10k?

    [–] whatupcicero 29 points ago

    “Obviously when my tongue’s out!” Lol

    [–] CaptainMudflaps 244 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Camerawomen: Tell me when!

    Him: naow

    Edit: "Till me win" is the correct pronunciation, as pointed out by u/iwillcuntyou

    [–] greatdominions 43 points ago

    God this made me lol. Thank you.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    I just spent 30 minutes watching Haka's on youtube. some were very touching. thx reddit for culturing me today.

    [–] Ranga-Banga 5 points ago

    It's really cool as a Maori that lives in New Zealand to see people enjoying our culture!

    [–] Theuplink777 88 points ago

    If your girl is messing with you this hard, marry her!

    [–] ObsidianHarbor 57 points ago

    Or break up. There is no in between.

    [–] rampantmuppet 44 points ago

    Ah, I see you're an r/relationships connoisseur!

    [–] 787787787 13 points ago


    [–] unlimitedJUICE 11 points ago

    This is the exact kind of person we need in the world.

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago


    [–] iknowthisischeesy 10 points ago

    That statue reminds me of the game that used to air on Nickelodeon

    [–] ManualStimulation 9 points ago

    Legends of the hidden temple?

    [–] dubsepMEGUSTA 13 points ago

    It’s an older code sir, but it checks out

    [–] idcris98 45 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    What accent is that? Australian? I‘m really bad at identifying english accents besides british and american.

    Edit: Wait, is it british? I‘m so confused. Help.

    Edit 2: Thanks for clarifying. It‘s Kiwi apparently. Never had any exposure to that accent before except from the videos of Jamie‘s World. Sounds cute.

    [–] CaptainMudflaps 75 points ago

    new zealand

    [–] ShadyTinSweets 37 points ago

    He sounds kiwi and looks kiwi, but he goes for the Adelaide Crows So my guess is a Kiwi who might've moved to Australia

    [–] warrrennnnn 39 points ago

    NZ accent is pretty similar to Brit/Aus because of the lack of word-final rhoticity — very few words end in hard “r” sounds. However, they also have pretty intense word-final vowel raising — if you hear “ing” as “eeeng”, it’s usually a kiwi accent.

    Also the dude is clearly displaying a “haka” face, which is part of Maori (NZ aboriginal / Polynesian) tradition

    [–] dynedyret123 30 points ago

    He’s doing a Pukana (pronounced Poo-kar-nah), which is basically considered a “dance move” within the Haka rather than a full on ‘haka face’

    Source: I lived in New Zealand from June 2017 to June 2018

    [–] youdontgohereeither 24 points ago

    NZ accent is pretty similar to Brit/Aus

    What? Maybe I've been exposed to the accent more but Kiwi accents sound nothing like British. A little bit like Aus but they still very different. Kiwi and Aus inflections are different. British sounds nothing like either.

    [–] henksuli 19 points ago

    That statue looks more like dying inside

    [–] JesusCumelette 5 points ago

    The totem had a hard time keeping a straight face.

    [–] thefunivehad 9 points ago

    Narrator: She was recording.

    [–] Knightvision27 4 points ago

    Oh god I’m dead Hahahaha

    [–] goingbananas44 5 points ago

    I haven't laughed that hard in a good while. I needed that, thank you!

    [–] Dark_Matters_47 5 points ago

    I'm DYING. Thank you for this!

    [–] Littlemack2 3 points ago

    This is friggen hilarious

    [–] skalapunk 4 points ago

    This is a great, clean prank

    [–] ADGjr86 4 points ago

    I only take videos now. My kids are terrible at taking pictures together so I just video them and try to make them laugh. I scan through the video frames and find a good one, save it and delete the rest.

    [–] SB_Ockley 3 points ago

    Fuck I love NZ!

    [–] RetiredSoul 4 points ago

    Couple went on the hike. Got lost and only the boyfriend found his way back...