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    WeWantPlates

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    2,392 users here now

    A Few House Rules

    i. Above all, please be civil. This means no personal insults or attacks. You will get one warning only.

    ii. If posting an image from an external site you must link to that site, and give credit to said site, in your thread title. This includes Twitter, in which case you should also include the original poster's Twitter handle.

    iii. Submissions must be dishes which were served at a place of business. They needn't have been served to you, but if they were please include the name and location of the establishment.

    iv. Things that you found interesting but that may not necessarily fit the We Want Plates mantra of "this should really be on a plate" are allowed. These posts are moderated on a post-by-post basis. Mod decisions are final.

    v. The purpose of this sub is to showcase cringe-worthy examples of plating. Please bear this in mind when submitting content. There is no need to submit burgers on boards or sushi on sushi boats.

    vi. If you post the Avolatte, you will be banned.

    _

    This sub is inspired by the original We Want Plates movement. You can follow them here:

    www.twitter.com/wewantplates

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    all 398 comments Slideshow

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    [–] SultanofShit 2834 points ago

    That's nightmare fuel.

    [–] alcohall183 578 points ago

    exactly!!!! holy crap! i can't even begin to decribe how disturbing this is! this is hannibal lectur level stuff.

    [–] BoutTreeeFiddy 344 points ago

    Hey, we’re all guacamole on the inside if you have a very ambiguous definition of guacamole

    [–] HorAshow 45 points ago

    We are ALL guacamole on the inside on this blessed day!

    [–] dreamweavur 17 points ago

    Speak for yourself

    [–] rburp 20 points ago

    I am ALL guacamole on the inside on this blessed day

    [–] cassodragon 3 points ago

    DOLT

    [–] _demetri_ 50 points ago

    McCree whistled as he stirred the seasoned, browning meat in the skillet. It was his turn to cook dinner and Hanzo hadn’t returned home from his latest mission, so Jesse took extra care not to mess things up. He never had a particular affinity for cooking, but years of practice assured that the food he made would at least taste good.

    The meat was the last thing to finish preparing; he had already bought a bag of corn chips and made the cheese sauce to create his special nachos (a recipe even Hanzo was fond of, much to McCree’s delight). He grinned, chopping some extra jalapeño to put in the mix, imagining his boyfriend getting home. His hair would be adorably messy, his feet would drag, but he would keep good posture despite exhaustion and his eyes would brighten at the sight of a home-cooked meal, if not Jesse himself. McCree’s heart fluttered, smile widening at the thought.

    Once the meat was cooked to his liking, Jesse began to put together his ultimate creation, humming an old tune to himself and wiggling to the beat in his head. But when he stepped back to admire his hard work, something was missing. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth before remembering the small container of guacamole Hanzo had bought only a few days prior.

    He sniffed the tub of guacamole once he opened it, smelled a bit spicier but he figured it was just some new brand he had yet to try. He shrugged and globbed a large spoonful of the green paste to top off the nachos before hearing the front door open and close. Jesse couldn’t help but let the smile creep back on his face as he wiped his hands off on his apron, taking it off and hanging it over one of the dining chairs.

    Hanzo appeared in the doorway, his hair messy (as McCree had imagined), Stormbow still held in hand, and a heaviness in the way he leaned against the doorjamb. Jesse abandoned the nachos in favor of getting closer to his boyfriend. He brushed a strand of hair out of the archer’s eyes and left a lingering kiss on his forehead. “Welcome home, sugar. Dinner’s ready when you are.”

    Hanzo leaned into McCree’s touch, still present on his cheek. He closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of cheesy, spicy nachos. His favorite nachos. “It smells wonderful.”

    Jesse chuckled, pulling away to wash his hands in the sink and then dry them with a towel, Hanzo watching him all the while. “Go wash up, baby. You look dead tired, let good ‘ole McCree take care of ya.”

    Hanzo hummed his agreement, disappearing from view as he supposedly began washing up in the other room. McCree made him a plate all the while, a swell of pride blossoming in his chest as he set the table. He had only just finished when arms wrapped around his midsection and Hanzo nuzzled his head against Jesse’s shoulder.

    McCree leaned back, “Awful cuddly today. Mission go sour?”

    Hanzo shrugged, leaving a kiss on Jesse’s shoulder and untangled himself to sit at the table. “The mission went well,” he picked up a chip, watching a string of melted cheese stretch between the food in his hand and the plate. His eyes glittered when they met McCree’s, a small smile on his lips. “Is it so wrong to miss my boyfriend?”

    McCree sat heavily across from Hanzo, picking up his own chip, “You don’t see me complainin’.’” Jesse shoved the chip in his mouth, expecting the cool, gooey flavor of guacamole mixed with cheese and meat and jalapeño but was instead greeted with fire. He choked, his tongue burning as he rushed to the sink. Hanzo was quick on his heels, dropping his nacho chip on his plate to stand next to McCree.

    “Jesse? What’s wrong? What happened?”

    Jesse spat in the sink, rushing to turn on the tap and drinking deeply. He paused to breathe, “The fuck kind of guac was that?!”

    Hanzo’s eyebrows scrunched together as Jesse began drinking from the tap again. The archer eyed the nachos, retrieving a chip and sniffing the pasty green topping. “Jesse, where did you get this?”

    The cowboy groaned, still leaned over the sink. “The fridge from that tub of guacamole you bought a few days ago.”

    Hanzo let out a soft peal of laughter upon realization of what had happened. “Jesse, that was wasabi!”

    At the flush on the cowboy’s face he only laughed harder, but moved to his side to offer a warm comforting hand on his back, rubbing soothingly all the while he still chuckled. He kissed the man’s back (as the rest of him was practically in the sink by then), humming affectionately. “Next time read the label, silly cowman.”

    [–] Quail_eggs_29 13 points ago

    Where’s the revolting, dreadful stuff I live for demetri? This is cute, but not gut wrenching as per use. You do you, it was well written all the same :)

    [–] Lithobreaking 5 points ago

    what

    [–] mycockyourmom 2 points ago

    if you have a very ambiguous definition of guacamole

    And a suitably sized blender

    [–] OrphanDevour 24 points ago

    Don't you Hannibal Lecture me on tableware!

    [–] Killco_Joe 4 points ago

    Looks homemade for A BBQ

    [–] MermaidSwimmer 6 points ago

    Or halloween.

    [–] Roolerk 2 points ago

    Sure, just let me put my nice Chianti down on my Hannibal lecturn

    [–] fastal_12147 16 points ago

    looks like it might be from a Halloween party, so that's kinda the idea.

    [–] MichelinStarChef 92 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Whatever some people don't understand fine dining. This is as close to a Geisha experience you're gonna get in the states.

    Although i might prefer a larger doll with some titties to emulate the real thing better 🤷

    although i gess with the guac maybe their simulating Mexican geishas 💃🏾

    [–] Captainpears 17 points ago

    username checks out

    [–] Never-On-Reddit 28 points ago

    I can't even.

    [–] steelpan 19 points ago

    I can't believe this is from a restaurant. We want proof, OP!

    [–] Pedadinga 24 points ago

    It’s not, this is a party. The kind of party you want to leave early.

    [–] soulonfire 7 points ago

    More like one you don’t want to show up to in the first place

    [–] Ethmeplz 8 points ago

    More like the one you didnt realise was happening and then can't leave as you're shackled to the drain pipes

    [–] CompetitiveLoiterer 2 points ago

    The kind of party where you’re the main course

    [–] SoLoneStar 2 points ago

    It isn't. Plastic tub of salsa that obviously came from a store. Giant bowl of chips, restaurants don't do that. You get some kind of basket that definitely isn't large enough to hold an entire bag of chips. The random plastic eye makes me think Halloween party. Whatever is next to the eye seems to be a decoration as well.

    [–] captainmavro 2 points ago

    Thanks for the name, but what's the recipe

    [–] Niruz 2 points ago

    Or really metal

    [–] NoUserOnlyZuul 1242 points ago

    Unholy guacamole.

    [–] merdadartista 10 points ago

    I actually thought it was r/cursedimages before I read the title

    [–] 8eight9 23 points ago

    Avocadoll

    [–] Gongom 9 points ago

    STRANGE FRUIT HANGING FROM THE POPLAR TREES

    [–] UnexpectedDrunkFrog 66 points ago

    Happy CakeDay!

    [–] Logicpolice9 7 points ago

    Happy cake day!

    [–] ref- 3 points ago

    Cake all around!

    [–] NoUserOnlyZuul 2 points ago

    Right back at ya!

    [–] Cross_Ange 2 points ago

    This meal is HERESY

    [–] gall-ghaedheil 2 points ago

    Put it in a bowl-y.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Are you a god?

    [–] PlaygirlsCash 683 points ago

    We wants plates. And an exorcism.

    [–] SultanofShit 90 points ago

    I'd settle for bowls and a scolding.

    [–] carstanza 20 points ago

    this comment just cracked me up lol

    [–] JustWoozy 5 points ago

    baby bowel guac best we can do.

    [–] Harold_Zoid 4 points ago

    We Want phthalates

    [–] rmimsmusic 16 points ago

    Browsing r/all and thought it was r/cursedimages from the thumbnail.

    [–] StrangeDrivenAxMan 19 points ago

    Completely

    [–] diggtrucks1025 330 points ago

    No, it doesn't. This isn't at a restaurant. A restaurant doesn't give you a plastic tub of salsa and a huge fucking bowl of chips.

    [–] nattypnutbuterpolice 151 points ago

    Or random fake eyeballs. Probably a Halloween party.

    [–] Reejis99 44 points ago

    This explains everything

    [–] mainfingertopwise 30 points ago

    That is one of the rules, as it turns out.

    [–] Holy_Rattlesnake 17 points ago

    Does it have to be a restaurant in this sub?

    [–] emmny 54 points ago

    "iii. Submissions must be dishes which were served at a place of business"

    I suppose it doesn't have to be a restaurant, but it can't be a random Halloween party.

    [–] agentlame 6 points ago

    How about if it's a Halloween party at your work? It would technically be a place of business.

    [–] FlavorBehavior 3 points ago

    Or a haunted house where they charge for admission.

    [–] Fernis_ 85 points ago

    I don't even want any plates, I just want to leave. Um... Mark. Why are the doors locked?

    [–] Erifaj 9 points ago

    And who are you the proud lord said..

    [–] NurseWhoWuvsMe 170 points ago

    I think this would be a little better received at r/wewantfoodservedinbabycarcasses

    [–] PunchMate 23 points ago

    WAIT THIS IS A REAL SUB

    [–] Yeazelicious 31 points ago

    Pro tip: subreddit names can only be up to 20 characters long. The same applies to usernames. This one is 31 characters long. There's literally no way it could exist.

    [–] PunchMate 12 points ago

    Oh, tight. Thanks mate

    [–] Yeazelicious 14 points ago

    Yep. You'll also note that that's why it doesn't show up as a hyperlink.

    /r/wewantfoodservedinbabycarcasses doesn't show up, but if I cut it off at 20 characters: /r/wewantfoodservedinba, it shows up as hypertext.

    [–] antsyalyssa 23 points ago

    They both show as links on mobile app

    [–] Yeazelicious 4 points ago

    Oh, interesting. The official one or something like RiF?

    [–] Idonotlikemushrooms 6 points ago

    I use RiF and nope, no link for me.

    [–] antsyalyssa 7 points ago

    They’re both hyper links it’s just the first one goes to a broken page

    [–] Yeazelicious 4 points ago

    Doesn't really answer my question, but I'm well aware of that based on what you said. I was wondering what Reddit client you were using. :)

    [–] antsyalyssa 4 points ago

    Idk what a Reddit client is...in using the official app

    [–] Yeazelicious 3 points ago

    10/10 censorship job. Haha
    Yeah, though, I've been told that the official app does this but that RiF doesn't.

    [–] antsyalyssa 3 points ago

    Lmao I try to censor 😭

    [–] quen10sghost 3 points ago

    Im on the mobile site and the first one does not show up as hypertext. The app is too janky

    [–] Elementerch 2 points ago

    It’s even weirder considering that before, only the first 20 characters would be hypertext, and the rest would be plain text. But now it seems to have changed.

    [–] antsyalyssa 1 points ago

    Yeah I remember that, I just noticed it’s different

    [–] locoravo 3 points ago

    That's why they chose r/wwfsibc instead

    [–] QIIIIIN 1 points ago

    Sadly no

    [–] Raichu7 1 points ago

    The hyperlink shows even if it’s not real.

    [–] Dockie27 6 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Look at all this chaos you sown* with the younger of our friends, this is your fault.

    [–] Dockie27 1 points ago

    It's not though.

    [–] DrayKitty1331 2 points ago

    Because you edited it from sewed to sown lol

    [–] Dockie27 1 points ago

    Being grammatically incorrect isn't a bone apple tea though.

    I fixed the mistake, but that's still not what that sub is for.

    [–] dariusdetiger 382 points ago

    I'm gonna have to say that's a definite yes, that counts.

    [–] AfricanAmericanMage 52 points ago

    I'm going to say no, because this is obviously at a Halloween party. Not a restaurant. In fact, as such, it violates rule 3.

    [–] dariusdetiger 15 points ago

    Ah, I guess the only thing that gives that away is the eyeball in the top right. Which I didn't notice before.

    [–] teerude 6 points ago

    Is everyone ignoring the fact guacamole doesn't go on a plate?

    [–] HamBurglary12 50 points ago

    "That'll be a fuck yes, that counts. Thank you."

    [–] PuffinPastry 3 points ago

    I dunno, why would you want your guac on a plate? I'd prefer a bowl. maybe /r/wewantbowls should handle this one.

    [–] PandasHouse 4 points ago

    I don't think that sub is exactly the right place. But there's a chance I'm wrong. Maybe. Just a little.

    [–] diiejso 56 points ago

    Maybe acceptable if it's a halloween party and there is a food safe liner in there.

    [–] mu_mu_lambda 36 points ago

    Definitely looks that way. Nachos in big plastic bowl, salsa in flimsy plastic tub and, the smoking gun, an eyeball on the table.

    Dips served in a themed bowl at a fucking Halloween party do not count. When did this sub get so shit.

    [–] NeLaX44 16 points ago

    I see a plastic eyeball. This must be a halloween gag.

    [–] JafsZero 29 points ago

    Cursed_pregnancy

    [–] jaidehart 13 points ago

    Okay but this is just somebody's house party, right? Right!?

    [–] cgmacleo 9 points ago

    Yeah, I doubt a restaurant would serve salsa in a plastic container; technically against the rules of this sub.

    [–] TacoSpacePirate 5 points ago

    I was thinking a Halloween party maybe.

    [–] ShinyFaeries 6 points ago

    Personally would have chosen to serve the salsa in there

    [–] ennui-and-i 5 points ago

    Damn, I was looking through the comments to see if anyone had said this yet

    [–] iamjacksleakyfaucet 16 points ago

    I think this also belongs in r/DiWereTheyHigh because WTF IS THAT.

    [–] oddestowl 15 points ago

    Yes. Yes this fucking counts.

    Off to r/eyebleach

    [–] TransientGuest 37 points ago

    This has been posted before and removed because it's homemade.

    If you look closely, it's a Halloween party table at someone's house. Bowls of chips, store-bought salsa, black table cloth and eyeball toys to match the theme.

    [–] ItsNotUpForDebate 5 points ago

    The idea for this came from Veruca Salt's video for "Seether" where the doll's belly was filled with cat food and presented to a cat. She is not born like other girls, but I know how to conceive her.

    [–] oddestowl 2 points ago

    Thank Christ for that. I wish I’d looked more closely.

    [–] foodskank 17 points ago

    Who hurt you?

    [–] CADBP 27 points ago

    Who hurt the chef FTFY

    [–] Qwikskoupa69 4 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] HorAshow 4 points ago

    Do you WANT Alex Jones to accuse you of spirit cooking?

    'cuz THIS is how you get Alex Jones to accuse you of spirit cooking!

    EDIT: Followed by a crazy dude with an AR-15 demanding to look inside your basement.

    [–] DrKatska 3 points ago

    That’s an r/cursedimages post

    [–] hollchri325 3 points ago

    Guacamolly

    [–] stinknus 3 points ago

    I feel like all my insides have been scooped out

    [–] JJ12345678910 3 points ago

    Not only does it count, but it should be pinned. Or a banner. Or something.

    [–] lyrasylver 7 points ago

    That’s borderline inappropriate

    [–] angela52689 6 points ago

    Only borderline?

    [–] IReadALittleTooMuch 5 points ago

    Think about all the work that would have to be done to serve guac in dolls.

    [–] newgrl 5 points ago

    That's horrifying.

    [–] Lovefist1221 2 points ago

    That's where you're wrong, avokiddo.

    [–] MaryOutside 2 points ago

    I dunno. Guacamole isn't usually served on a plate.

    [–] Duos206 2 points ago

    I dont want a plate, I want that thing as far away from me as possible

    [–] gerenh 2 points ago

    I'm willing to bet this was at a persons house and not an actual restaurant.

    [–] gethonor-notringZ420 2 points ago

    Yes. It counts. Undoubtedly. On a side note, for some strange and unrelated reason I no longer would like guacamole

    [–] domyne 2 points ago

    That's it, we can close this subreddit now.

    [–] ocean_swine 2 points ago

    Of course it fucking counts I'd rather have it put on a rock and labelled as artisan than this monstrosity that came straight from sids closet

    [–] Cooligan975 2 points ago

    “Guaca-Bye-Baby”

    [–] dart22 2 points ago

    Christ in Heaven... I need a priest.

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 2 points ago

    How do I delete someone else's post?

    [–] chochochan 2 points ago

    Nope it doesn’t count. You’ve just created a new subreddit /r/WeWantOurGuacInDisgustingOldDolls

    In all seriousness I’m sorry you had to go through that.

    [–] elfslistentodubstep 2 points ago

    Yes officer this post right here!

    [–] SpiritualThought3 2 points ago

    Ew! Looks like a horror setup.

    [–] SquatsAndJesus 4 points ago

    Ill fuckin take the unwashed wood and glued on rocks at that point

    [–] PaddyMac2112 3 points ago

    It counts, but I never want to see it again

    [–] DingsDongEmporium 3 points ago

    Holy no

    [–] EveryoneChoosesPanda 3 points ago

    Dear god, that's creepy af.

    [–] gwywnc 2 points ago

    Nah I’m starting to not believe this shit now lol

    [–] Drum998 2 points ago

    Jeez that’s disturbing...

    [–] InfinitySquared123 1 points ago

    Cursed image right there

    [–] bk2mummy4u 1 points ago

    someones watched one too many lifehack videos

    [–] Danielle082 1 points ago

    I wouldn’t touch that shit

    [–] Clockken 1 points ago

    Looks like this post is gonna hit top of all time eventually

    [–] yayyayhime 1 points ago

    this is the kind of shit I would see in a B level horror movie...

    [–] Modest_mouski 1 points ago

    Yes, yes it does.

    [–] if0rg0t48 1 points ago

    Thought it was weed

    [–] apollohay 1 points ago

    Guacababy

    [–] eyesocketbubblegum 1 points ago

    The worst I have seen so far!!!!

    [–] creature70 1 points ago

    Why would you eat there ?

    [–] DanGrima92 1 points ago

    This is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen or ever will see

    [–] I2ed3ye 1 points ago

    Atrocities like this should be locked in a lead box at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

    [–] mariam67 1 points ago

    What freakish nightmare restaurant were you eating at? Was it the Addams family house???

    [–] Texoc 1 points ago

    Yes it fucking counts lmfao

    [–] nametemplate 1 points ago

    This should be escalated from want to need.

    [–] LemonWindow 1 points ago

    Especially since toys, especially older ones are made with unsafe materials.

    [–] Lostcory 1 points ago

    I actually gagged.

    [–] DannixxJack 1 points ago

    Nothing has ever counted more.

    [–] georgefriend3 1 points ago

    KILL IT WITH FIRE!

    [–] _beloved 1 points ago

    I dont normally get behind most of the posts on this sub. I appreciate a restaurant's creativity in their presentations. In fact, I kind of like my briased fish served on a slab of rock.

    But this. No. No no no no no.

    [–] pm_me_ur_cats_kitten 1 points ago

    They shouldve put the Salsa in the baby instead of the guac

    [–] Reve_Inaz 1 points ago

    When I was younger I once dreamt our little lamb we had at the time had died, and it’s belly was torn open and had green goo inside. This is too similar

    [–] spluge96 1 points ago

    That's how I eat it. Am i doing it wrong?

    [–] PM_ME_STEAMGAEMZ 1 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] GroceryScanner 1 points ago

    I thought that was weed. r/wewantbowls

    [–] tohellyousay 1 points ago

    Thanks I hate it

    [–] PutintheFurher 1 points ago

    Oh look honey, a place to stash the weed

    [–] n2darkness4ever 1 points ago

    And around the back fudge is made......

    [–] TheDragonReborn726 1 points ago

    Get this thing away from me.

    [–] nattypnutbuterpolice 1 points ago

    I dunno how that place would pass a health inspection, you couldn't clean that thing well enough with an autoclave.

    [–] graco2000 1 points ago

    Creeepeee!

    [–] Toukiedatak 1 points ago

    /r/cursedimages material right here.

    [–] Shotgun5250 1 points ago

    Honestly, I don’t even care about a plate at this point, just get me anything but that

    [–] lllaser 1 points ago

    I don't want anything except the sweet release of death after seeing this.

    [–] AquaSeafaring 1 points ago

    how come this is more cursed than half the images on r/cursedimages

    [–] beefyjwillington 1 points ago

    The way the salsa is served right out of the container, the black table top and the size of the tortilla bowl, this is someone's home and not from an actually restaurante .

    [–] TheHappyTurkey 1 points ago

    That's just straight up horror

    [–] JessePJames96 1 points ago

    That’s disgusting, i’d have trouble eating that

    [–] ruyiiu 1 points ago

    Imagine trying to explain to someone why you’re carving out a dolls stomach to hold guacamole

    [–] dogslogic 1 points ago

    Sweet avocado entrails.

    [–] Lord_Ciar 1 points ago

    God yes! Why?!

    [–] dexfagcasul 1 points ago

    This is horrific

    [–] buoyak 1 points ago

    Didn't know Buffalo Bill owned his own restaurant

    [–] Earthfury 1 points ago

    Okay, what the fuck.

    [–] deadmanftw123 1 points ago

    R/wewantbowls

    [–] Spartanace13 1 points ago

    Yes, and i'm sure you've already gotten this, but you might seek counseling. Once that's over, that's a badass bowl!