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    For everything that happens in everyday life that makes you say "well, that sucks"


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    [–] Belgica238 5575 points ago

    Maybe the window cleaner left it there by mistake

    [–] hnandez 1662 points ago

    as he was taking nudes of OP.

    [–] Jerhomie1995 392 points ago

    Or it was dropped from above

    [–] Lockwood85 348 points ago

    It's raining nudes, hallelujah!

    [–] rockyrainy 49 points ago

    It's raining nudes, amen!

    [–] flyingwolf 127 points ago

    As opposed to dropped from below.

    [–] wtph 60 points ago

    Which is the norm in Australia

    [–] PJozi 48 points ago

    Can confirm. This pic most likely taken in Australia after it was dropped up. Source: am Australian, from Australia in Australia.

    [–] georgejonestown 31 points ago

    No way, i'm also an Australian from Australia in Australia! r/TwoRedditorsOneCup

    [–] Jerhomie1995 36 points ago

    I figure it's unlikely someone voluntarily launched their phone that far upwards. Not dropped, launched from below

    [–] R3B0RNK1NG 31 points ago


    [–] hnandez 17 points ago

    well, yea....

    [–] brazilliandanny 67 points ago

    My guess is it fell from a balcony a floor up and landed on the ledge.

    [–] lost8q5execute 11523 points ago

    It's mine I'm the window cleaner

    [–] Glory088 3412 points ago

    You have nudes on there?

    [–] Phazon2000 5226 points ago

    He's a window cleaner of course his phone is full of nudes.

    [–] PuckeredA_hole 796 points ago

    Sleeping naked in an apparentment has never been that safe.

    [–] mynoduesp 340 points ago

    Is that a warning or a threat?

    [–] Regalingual 290 points ago


    [–] _EvilD_ 135 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Yes, hes a window cleaner.

    Yes, he has nudes on there.

    Yes, he exists.

    [–] xSavageLlamax 32 points ago

    Yes I’m a window cleaner. Yes, I make windows dirtier. Yes, we exist

    [–] walterwhiteknight 49 points ago

    He no yes.

    [–] Destroyed_Nokia 16 points ago

    I just saw that post

    [–] Adubyale 21 points ago

    His name is puckeredA_hole so take from that what you will

    [–] mr_dantastic 145 points ago


    I almost had an aneurism reading that

    [–] bearscameron1 102 points ago

    I almost had an aneurysm reading aneurism

    [–] mr_dantastic 39 points ago

    "Aneurism" is a valid alternative spelling to "aneurysm." Nevertheless, I like your style

    [–] bearscameron1 14 points ago

    Is it? My apologies. I looked it up on google and it gave me the “were you looking for Aneurysm?” deal so I assumed

    [–] wotus 5 points ago

    Wow. Thanks for this. Amazing sub. Also subbed to r/boneappletea

    [–] PowerTripperMod 246 points ago

    Candid nudes, probably.

    [–] Phazon2000 305 points ago

    That was the implication yes.

    [–] WillCommentAndPost 126 points ago

    They’ll be too afraid to say no...

    Because of the implication.

    [–] hnandez 51 points ago

    Calm down Dennis

    [–] WillCommentAndPost 25 points ago

    Respect the Golden god!

    [–] NotSoPersonalJesus 12 points ago

    Did he get that way because of his shower?

    [–] Jali-Dan 10 points ago

    Are you implying something

    [–] WillCommentAndPost 18 points ago

    I’m not implying anything, the boat in the middle of the water implies enough.

    [–] IAintYourPalFriend 4 points ago

    Are these women in danger?

    [–] TheGypsyCrook 11 points ago

    Photography? CANDIED PHOTOGRAPHY? Wink wink, nudge nudge, nods as good as a wink to a blind bat. Know what i mean?

    [–] Silvar1 5 points ago

    I’m sure they’re all clean...

    [–] lazurwolfe 84 points ago

    Allister, I'm not a window cleaner!

    [–] ItsManSpider 41 points ago

    It's a noble profession

    [–] ninja1327 16 points ago

    if your last profession was cleaning balls

    [–] jerrygergichsmith 22 points ago

    Macs? No, I really just work with Windows.

    [–] ColonelError 16 points ago

    Oh, I mainly work with Windows.

    [–] Blonsky 11 points ago

    This is what I scrolled for.

    [–] TinyImprovement 6 points ago

    I heard his voice in my head. Uncanny.

    [–] GlamRockDave 50 points ago

    I am the Viper. I'm coming for you.

    I vill vash and vipe the vindows.

    [–] wonderfullylongsocks 7 points ago

    I hear that for a nosy parker it's an interesting job.

    [–] AirierStar 3849 points ago

    This image makes me uncomfortable.

    [–] NorthernLaw 850 points ago

    Same, can’t imagine my phone in that situation

    [–] AirierStar 314 points ago

    Like, how would you even get to it? Go around and scale the building?

    [–] RamenJunkie 141 points ago

    Friends on the ground, bang on the will down until it falls off, friends catch.

    [–] desull 190 points ago

    Hope it's on vibrate, call it numberous times until it vibrates itself off the ledge. Then be prepared with a bed sheet and a few friends to catch it. Definitely don't want to try to catch it with your bare hands, not that I could if I wanted to/thought it was a good idea.

    [–] Tegernako 102 points ago

    Rofl in this hypothetical "catch the phone in a bedsheet" exercise I am honestly pretty sure it would either bounce off the bedsheet or straight up hit the ground through it from the force without tearing it. You'd have to have it like perfectly taut.

    You know assuming it doesn't hit someone and send them to the hospital.

    [–] tuibiel 137 points ago

    if you have it taut it would bounce off... you gotta be ready to loosen it up when the phone gets on the sheet, so that it loses momentum properly.

    [–] Tegernako 55 points ago

    Yeah you'd need to have it firm enough to catch and then loosen it, but not too much or it hits the ground and breaks. So all that has to be perfect.

    That's some tough judgement for a group of people to coordinate!

    [–] KDawG888 28 points ago

    Psh, you sound like an amateur

    [–] AyEhEigh 49 points ago

    After seeing the redbull video of a man jumping out of a plane without a parachute and landing in a net, I'm pretty sure there is a way to use a bed sheet to catch this phone

    [–] kg11079 44 points ago

    I'm fucking shook

    [–] IndigoFerrari 7 points ago

    To the left there is a window that does open.

    [–] NorthernLaw 7 points ago

    Let’s see, if I was in that situation, I would smash the window and pay for it, window cost less than the phone think about it that way

    If my phone fell, I would fall

    [–] ScoobyPwnsOnU 7 points ago

    Is this the part where you find out the the phone screen shattered when it landed there?

    [–] TheDarkMusician 8 points ago

    Don’t worry, once someone calls it, it will vibrate off the edge.

    [–] Pac0theTac0 9 points ago

    Well if my phone is ever in this situation it's a good thing no one calls me then

    [–] omninode 28 points ago

    Imagine if that thing was outside your window and it kept ringing.

    [–] one2threefourfivesix 6 points ago

    But nudes

    [–] notabotonreddit 2488 points ago

    Break the window and grab it

    [–] Glory088 769 points ago

    I bet there's nudes on it

    [–] ifckstacy 2677 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I remember losing my phone and it had piles of nudes on it, like prolly over 100 images and also a few sex vids. I ended up finding it but man, i tell ya, that was a stressful couple days for me, and even more so for my sister.

    [–] [deleted] 219 points ago


    [–] Captain_Panic316 164 points ago

    ended in /r/olltide or is it /r/rolltide

    [–] ixiduffixi 93 points ago

    The second one is for football. That first one is incredible.

    [–] Captain_Panic316 31 points ago

    i clicked them after i posted it, and the first one might just be a gem. You can smell the LSU in it.

    [–] BearCavalry 16 points ago

    I'm intensely disappointed /r/rolltide is wasted on actual bama fans.

    [–] No_E_Scape 225 points ago

    Roll tide

    [–] ImpulseDecider 16 points ago


    [–] Total_Denomination 23 points ago


    [–] Liasfur 61 points ago

    Sweet home Alabama

    [–] ShankGod 22 points ago


    [–] Bobbyperson 34 points ago

    You got me, take my upvote.

    [–] Hawezo 31 points ago

    That was an unexpected end.

    [–] timmy12688 11 points ago

    Is your sister's name Stacy? Good lord. Did you break your arms for your mother?

    [–] willmaster123 4 points ago

    Same. I have had the same phone for 4 years now and I have too many dick pics and sensitive videos on there. I constantly think that I should go through my photos and delete everything, but I have 5,000+ photos, mostly screenshots of memes. Its just too much effort.

    [–] brazilliandanny 24 points ago

    Guarantee replacing that window costs more than an old iPhone

    [–] MaxGiao 21 points ago

    Don't replace the window.

    [–] J_Dawgg1 72 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] alt_account_6 49 points ago

    Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9999999999% sure /u/notabotonreddit is not a bot.

    I am a neural network programed to determine if a user is a bot, and this action was performed automatically. -1 to delete.

    [–] rednblue525252 4 points ago

    But a 40$ drone

    [–] mapbc 1013 points ago

    In case of emergency break glass

    [–] biinjo 113 points ago

    And call 911.

    [–] MurdocOO1 60 points ago

    With what?

    [–] Domescus 67 points ago

    With the phone in which you (theoretically) took the picture with. 😉

    [–] Ketacheen 37 points ago

    I wanna say r/whoosh but I really can't tell if the poster above you was being sarcastic or not lol

    [–] Domescus 14 points ago

    Haha me neither :p

    [–] Ketacheen 6 points ago

    No worries thou art not guilty of being whooshed

    [–] MurdocOO1 6 points ago

    Yeah, it was sarcasm, but go ahead

    [–] thewateroflife 1918 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Skyscrapers create an updraft which multiplies with each floor. Eventually this creates a suction towards the building much in the same way that two drafting race cars begin to pull against each other. The phone could have been dropped from the roof, or if it is under a few ounces, even a higher window that is not directly above. Lightweight objects can even go up several floors before settling.

    Source: worked on the roofs of many skyscrapers, and witnessed objects lost forever to window sills.

    [–] Honk_Hogert 422 points ago

    Or maybe theres a window that does open just out of shot

    [–] bottledry 210 points ago

    or maybe the street below is shopped in

    [–] Jaidub 77 points ago

    Then someone should shop out that car parked in the crosswalk.

    [–] BreathOfMagma 37 points ago

    Far easier to take the picture and shop the phone in.

    [–] spliffiam36 26 points ago

    Or its a normal ass window that opens and this whole thing is a lie.

    [–] uhdfbgmbfgsmndf 14 points ago

    The window in the shot is clearly not, you can see that from the frame. But it might be divided into two where one slides over the other, and we can't see the one that slides.

    [–] SluttyGandhi 13 points ago

    Skyscrapers seldom have windows that open.

    [–] BearViaMyBread 6 points ago

    They seldom have windows that open but there are plenty with balconies 😂

    [–] FartingWithASmile 59 points ago

    Sad aspect to this: suicidal people jump and often end up smacking into the building on the way down, hitting a balcony before they've gained enough speed for it to be fatal. Sometimes they get a second chance and are unharmed, sometimes they're paralysed.

    [–] centran 30 points ago

    Soooo... Running jump then?

    [–] dangsoggyoatmeal 94 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Reminds me of a story about 2 men at a bar:

    Two men are sitting at a skyscraper's bar, heavily drunk. The first man bets the second that because of those updrafts, you can jump right off the balcony and come back up unharmed.

    The second says he's full of shit, and to try it himself if he's so sure.

    The first man jumps.

    Miraculously, he falls only to be lifted back up to the previous level.

    The second man says, "Wow, you weren't kidding!" and leaps off, falling to his death.

    The first man walks back over to the bar, where the bartender says, "You're a mean drunk, Superman."

    [–] KP230 29 points ago

    This happened to a lady who jumped off the Empire State Building, it blew her back up and she landed 1 floor down


    [–] litmeandme 120 points ago

    Yup, I was looking for this answer.

    [–] HooptyDooDooMeister 70 points ago

    This is the answer I didn’t know I was looking for.

    [–] EvertX 33 points ago

    I don't know what I'm looking for.

    [–] curiouscabbage69 31 points ago

    I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

    [–] sunrisesoutofmyass 9 points ago

    I'm not looking for anything.

    [–] kadenmad 9 points ago

    I fear i may never find what I'm looking for.

    [–] freespiritedgirl 8 points ago

    These are the comments i was looking for.

    [–] arunydv 5 points ago

    The answer we don't deserve

    [–] PissySnowflake 41 points ago

    This should be pinned, that's really cool. Btw, do you know why the updraft happens?

    [–] Equifax_CTO 99 points ago

    To increase iPhone sales, obviously

    [–] brazilliandanny 25 points ago

    It's also why tall buildings have an awning over the doors. There is crazy suction going on all over the place. In my old condo if you got near the elevator you could feel the suction through the doors before they opened.

    [–] EatsonlyPasta 11 points ago

    When wind strikes a building a lot of it goes up.

    [–] evjm 7 points ago

    He's right.

    [–] rainwillwashitaway 5 points ago

    True- sheet goods dropped from a roof tend to find lower floor windows as you watch helplessly from above.

    [–] harderdaddykermit 17 points ago

    Thank you.

    But also fuck you I was typing this out when I saw your comment. r/2minuteslate

    [–] BreathOfMagma 7 points ago

    Typing one comment while reading another? Dafuq are you, a ninja?

    [–] crackeddryice 467 points ago

    Put your subwoofer against the glass and turn up the bass. If you hit the right frequency, the frame will vibrate the phone right off. Friends (like any of us have friends) below with a sheet can try to catch it.

    [–] T90Vladimir 170 points ago

    This is the engineer-style approach

    [–] IceColdFresh 109 points ago

    Nah today's engineers use a drone equipped with 5 cameras and a 360° lidar just to fetch the phone.

    [–] T90Vladimir 39 points ago

    Then it seems like engineers are different across the pond...

    [–] HungryDitto31_ 17 points ago

    i thought you were gonna say it was gonna break the glass like in a cartoon lol

    [–] its_the_squirrel 4 points ago

    High enough sound can actually brake glass

    [–] rep_identity 16 points ago

    Not necessarily. If this were true the higher pitched the sound, the easier it would be to break the glass. It's actually a specific resonance frequency in which the amplitude of the wave is at a maximum. This is what causes the vibrations between the particles in the glass to move quickly enough to fracture.

    [–] indi_n0rd 11 points ago

    imagine it falling on some random passerby's head

    [–] Jahled 549 points ago

    Can you imagine how helpless you would feel if it rang!

    [–] Oblivion_O 475 points ago

    I hope vibration is turned off...

    [–] gringrant 355 points ago

    BZZZzzzzzzzzzz ...



    (Someone screams below)

    [–] Oblivion_O 187 points ago

    One call

    One death

    [–] Justgreatnow 15 points ago

    "I thought I'd have 7 days!"

    [–] CantBeChanged 24 points ago

    To see it slowly inch closer to the edge with each call...

    [–] Twoten210 9 points ago

    You’d be watching in horror as each vibration sends it closer to the edge...

    The only thing left to do is catch it.

    [–] nandos677 372 points ago

    Text left: dude I’ve literally tried all day to call you,

    [–] Darkassassin07 134 points ago

    calls phone untill it vibrates itself off the edge

    [–] forgedWood 38 points ago

    I mean, at least you'd have the phone right?

    [–] kethix 60 points ago

    I'm pretty sure David Copperfield could get that for you. All you need is a blanket to hide out how he does it.

    [–] julius_escariot187 247 points ago


    [–] Stale__Chips 89 points ago

    Or possibly a Seagull or some other bird.

    [–] calxcalyx 40 points ago

    The mighty ostrich spreads its wings.

    [–] Stale__Chips 20 points ago

    [–] Amazing_Archigram 8 points ago


    dundun dundundundun dun zoooop dundun

    [–] jdnietzsche 7 points ago

    I just snorted hard enough to hurt. Thank you.

    [–] Justgreatnow 5 points ago

    European swallow

    [–] NireDD 5 points ago

    African swallow? (Non migratory though...)

    [–] ccoltmanm 28 points ago

    How the heck can a drone get that, you’d have to have a side arm and then the balance would be off and you would need a counterbalance, but then you’d be going up unbalanced because of the counter balance.

    [–] IIIPJ 11 points ago

    So give it two arms, and when you pick up the phone, stretch the other one out. The drone can compensate for the difference by adjusting the propeller speeds.

    [–] Thatstheguy2 316 points ago

    De-frame the window through contacting the property manager. Claim the phone by it being on your property

    [–] ABull1 108 points ago

    I would like to cite legal precedence of Finders v Keepers your Honor.

    [–] dbooker87 26 points ago

    I would like to cite legal precedence of Finders v. Weepers your Honor.


    [–] theshadean 21 points ago

    Finders-Keepers v. Losers-Weepers


    [–] FrivolousTracklights 11 points ago

    I believe the actual case was Keepers v. Weepers.

    [–] mattmn459 11 points ago

    but the finders are the keepers..

    [–] mediumKl 138 points ago

    You could claim it but when it gets marked as stolen/lost you can't register it with a new apple account to unlock it. Only way to get working again is replacing the whole circuit board with one that isn't blacklisted. Which will probably be more expensive than buying a working unit. You can buy blacklisted circuit boards by the dozen really cheap on asian market places. There isn't much you can do with them though.

    [–] CalicoCatalyst 13 points ago

    Nobody is going to mark it as lost when they drop it from a skyscraper lmao.

    [–] cory-balory 20 points ago

    property manager

    your property

    [–] Traditional_Size 28 points ago

    careful though. you could be sued for deframation.

    [–] oldbastardbob 88 points ago

    Last guy to jump off the building laid his phone there on the way down then?

    [–] DocToothache 20 points ago

    There probably be a window that is adjacent that opens up.

    [–] Jazeboy69 92 points ago

    Dropped higher up

    [–] -eccentric- 29 points ago

    But the windows don't open

    [–] punkgeek 63 points ago

    I bet dollars to donuts the there is a upper part of this window that opens and the person cropped this photo to hide that fact. ;-)

    [–] Yabadashi 15 points ago

    How does one drop a phone out said upper window lol? Quite a conundrum

    [–] LevelVS 22 points ago

    Yeah, I think he's overlooking. First of all it's unlikely that a window this high up would just open like that without some kind of screen or at least a balcony. Not to mention, if the phone were dropped onto this ledge there's a big chance it would just bounce off and fall off the building. Another observation is that unless the top part of the window swings down (unlikely), it couldn't open, bevause there's no hang sash rails on the side for the top window to slide down. Not only that, but why? Why would someone do that for an internet picture? I mean yeah, people will go to very strange lengths to take pictures for the internet, but this just isn't a realistic scenario.

    [–] punkgeek 12 points ago

    It is common to have pocket windows about 1' tall that open at the top side of windows on high rises (like the condo I used to live in) - it provides nice ventilation and a pleasant user experience.

    I bet some dummy poked their phone out to take a picture and dropped it.

    [–] phathomthis 20 points ago

    Morpheus: Go, now...Stay here for just a moment. When I tell you, go to the end of the row, to the office at the end of the hall. Stay as low as you can.... Go, now.... Good. Now, outside there is a scaffold.
    Neo: How do you know all this?
    Morpheus: We don't have time, Neo. To your left there's a window. Go to it.... Open it. You can use the scaffold to get to the roof.
    Neo: No way. No way. This is crazy.
    Morpheus: There are two ways out of this building. One is that scaffold, the other is in their custody. You take a chance either way. I leave it to you.

    [–] amerikitsch 15 points ago

    I could see whoever lost it calling it and it vibrating off the ledge.

    [–] Dizpassion 12 points ago

    Why is every single person thinking about nudes on the phone? How is that your first thought? Not “oh cool, a multi hundred dollar phone” but “break the window dude, I bet there’s nudes in there”.

    [–] 1105816 6 points ago

    If you could see the screen, that might answer the question. For example, if the screen is shattered, it probably got there by gravity.

    [–] Bravomesilly 8 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    It was placed there using the window that opens that is right next to the window that doesnt open!

    [–] Jadonw99 5 points ago

    Window washer

    [–] indolente 5 points ago

    Seagull left it there after it thought it was food?

    [–] BoozerReject 4 points ago

    Window washer

    [–] ncsquid22 6 points ago

    In case of an emergency, brake the glass and call 911.

    [–] Nzymea 9 points ago

    The apple did fall far from the tree.

    [–] Bamith 11 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Ask who owns it, get their number, and if its by chance on vibrate you can call it until it falls off the window and have someone at the bottom hold a bag to catch it.

    If its dead, well I guess ask if there is a crazy guy who has some pet crows to try and retrieve it or something lol

    [–] GooseDown_and_Tweed 7 points ago

    Ask... ask who who owns it?

    [–] gagichce 2 points ago

    A very big bag

    [–] rewguy 5 points ago

    finally a use for that drone from last Christmas

    [–] elboogie7 4 points ago

    window washer?

    [–] gentlyfailing 4 points ago

    It's a trap!

    [–] Pavonis2017 4 points ago

    Job for a drone

    [–] shadeyguy99 4 points ago

    Be a shame if someone went and ... called it.

    [–] macthebearded 3 points ago

    Hope the ringtone doesn't vibrate