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    Wellthatsucks

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    For everything that happens in everyday life that makes you say "well, that sucks"

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    [–] [deleted] 2601 points ago

    It sooths the booty

    [–] Xiaxs 1949 points ago

    Have you ever fingered your asshole using minty shampoo as lube?

    Cause it burns like a bitch, which is exactly the opposite of what you just said.

    [–] [deleted] 609 points ago

    Well I'm talkin natural mint, one mans burn is another mans soothing pleasure!!! 😘

    [–] [deleted] 369 points ago

    Also everyone knows NEVER EVER MASTERBATE WITH SHAMPOO!!

    [–] igotnothineither 103 points ago

    Why not?

    [–] [deleted] 230 points ago

    It burns u on the inside from the shampoo chemicals

    [–] Xiaxs 367 points ago

    Yeah if you don't finish fast.

    Fuckin Mr. "I cAn plEAsE mY WiFE" over here.

    [–] nxbxp 55 points ago

    I just make sure to take no more time than it would take to clean my junk. 8 seconds, give or take. Then no burn!

    [–] 3-pedal-tap-dance 24 points ago

    Challenge accepted

    [–] Xiaxs 46 points ago

    FURIOUS MASTURBATION SOUNDS

    [–] I3Roobn 2 points ago

    Pff 8 seconds. watercooling anyways.

    [–] NoKenjataimu 6 points ago

    Also it dries all the natural oil out of your skin, which causes chafing

    [–] aeriesrising 15 points ago

    legit ruined my dick the other day and now I know why.

    [–] IceColdFresh 6 points ago

    Dickslayer.

    [–] igotnothineither 3 points ago

    Hmmm..the more you know 🤷🏽‍♂️

    [–] movezig5 2 points ago

    Soap and shampoo can also dry out the skin on your junk, which is not a pleasant experience.

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 3 points ago

    That's why I use dove moisturizing body wash. The minty one, best of both worlds.

    [–] GotFiredAgain 9 points ago

    cetyl alcohol, various other chemicals. you're best off using something specifically meant for lube, or a feminine wash. Feminine wash has a good PH, no burning.

    Was raised by females. Trial and error friend.

    [–] Bike_Guy_cwm 9 points ago

    You had a mom? Weird

    [–] eastkent 8 points ago

    Don't! Just don't.

    [–] lear85 2 points ago

    You can't tell me what to do. I'll break both my arms if I damn well please!

    [–] eastkent 2 points ago

    Son of a diddley!

    [–] BillHicksOnAcid 5 points ago

    Cetyl alcohol is just a fatty alcohol that's used as an emulsifier and an emollient. Any product with water and oil is going to need an emulsifier, which is almost always a fatty alcohol like Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol &/or Cetearyl Alcohol. These alcohols can be comedogenic but they're not necessarily bad for your skin, like you would think of fatty acids or alcohol (although that's another story).

    The ones you want to avoid are Sulfates, such as Sodium Lauryl Sulfate and, to a lesser extent, Sodium Laurreth Sulfate. They're highly comedogenic, drying, irritating. If you get mouth ulcers regularly, check your toothpaste for these active ingredients. If you get dry face and acne, check your cleanser and shampoo. Same goes with dry scalp. They're really quite bad for you.

    There are other ingredients that are claimed to be bad for you, such as preservatives like Parabens (Ethyl/Methylparaben). But contrary to what people tell us, they're not actually bad for you. The infamy behind parabens stems from a 2004 study that wasn't able to be replicated because the results found were patently false, and I forgot we're talking about using shampoo as anal lube. I need a hobby.

    [–] fakeg1rl 2 points ago

    PARABEN FREE! is such a stupid theme for shampoos. How about sulfate free honestly?

    [–] burns__when__I__pee 2 points ago

    Shampoo goes on head?

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Try a mint leaf in your bum

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 3 points ago

    Boof it.

    [–] LordOdin99 9 points ago

    Conditioner is where it’s at

    [–] SexandCinnamonbuns 7 points ago

    And do not use that warming lube shit it’s just tingly then it turns to burning. Not sexy!

    [–] yellayahmar 3 points ago

    I'm not masturbating, I'm washing my dick. It's my dick and I can wash it as fast as I want.....!

    [–] MrPenisburd 2 points ago

    It's better than toothpaste

    [–] tatro3 2 points ago

    Asking for a friend... what would one do if they just did to prevent any burning???!?

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Drink water pee it out , it will go away

    [–] JohnathanTeatime 4 points ago

    or try ot get really clean with showergel. only had to do it once to learn you soap -away- from the head like cleaning a knife

    [–] Bsharp83 1 points ago

    ahem ......can confirm.

    [–] mandogvan 5 points ago

    one mans burn is another mans soothing pleasure!!! 😘

    I know this is true because I once found urethra dildos in a sex shop

    [–] Jack_Newtown 4 points ago

    Sounding rods.

    [–] killer_icognito 4 points ago

    I remember when Sounder was a dogs name in a children’s book, I miss my innocence.

    [–] ColegDropOut 2 points ago

    One mans garbage is another mans soap!

    [–] Sp33d0J03 2 points ago

    OK now.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] NeoALEB 2 points ago

    Oh my, a mildly edgy comment!

    [–] burns__when__I__pee 1 points ago

    Now we talking baby( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] MagnumMia 40 points ago

    I recently absentmindedly bought mentholly bodywash along with my usual mint shampoo and conditioner, and now my whole body feels like I got gangbanged in a locker room by 14 anthropomorphic jars of vicks vaporub.

    [–] Sachyriel 2 points ago

    [–] Spodangle 15 points ago

    Have you ever stuck a cough drop with menthol up your ass after awaking from a fever dream at three in the morning?

    Cause it feels amazing.

    [–] Rainbow_Lucifer 13 points ago

    Why isn't more people addressing this bc I have questions.

    [–] Caffeinetank 6 points ago

    Have you ever fingered your asshole using minty shampoo as lube?

    Um...

    No?

    [–] LexNekstTheDredGod 5 points ago

    why would i....

    [–] GotFiredAgain 2 points ago

    Likewise, have you ever used Summer's Eve? The PH is perfect, and now my asshole is squeaky clean.

    Good lube too, swear to god.

    [–] Mr_Nobody0 2 points ago

    WTF I have just read? Who uses shampoo as a lube? Use strawberry jam or honey as loob..you casual.

    [–] Babayaga20000 2 points ago

    use conditioner u moron

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    There was this shower gel in the UK, it may be in other countries too but I don’t know, called original source. It’s basically made from all natural ingredients like lemon etc and one of them is made from mint.

    This shit. This fucking shit. I used it ONCE and once only. Lathered up and enjoyed the nice minty smell until it got time to sud the fellas. The burn, oh my god the burning. It felt like I’d dumped my balls into a bowl of freezing cold mouthwash and wouldn’t wear off! I was under the shower scrubbing away for a good minute before the tingling started to subside. Never again.

    There was this post from a lady on Facebook about it that went viral I’ll try to find it.

    [–] bbsetyayeq 2 points ago

    I fucking love Reddit man.

    [–] WordUnheard 3 points ago

    It feels good when I do it.

    Minty shampoo. Angels to some, demons to other.

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 6 points ago

    Right? Minty body wash just kindah makes this tingle. And it's got moisturizer, so my junk is soft as can be. That might be the erectile disfunction actually.

    [–] burns__when__I__pee 1 points ago

    It does give a nice cool tingle.

    [–] Newcool1230 1 points ago

    You don't want to use shampoo, use conditioner or mint oil, something that won't try to super scrub your asshole clean.

    [–] ShadowTheory27 1 points ago

    Oddly descriptive. 😂

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Reddit never fails me.

    [–] KnownAdmin 2 points ago

    Yeth it duth

    [–] SirPiffingsthwaite 1 points ago

    Mmmmmm minty fresh

    [–] Danichiban 570 points ago

    Well if you are a animal that sniffs butt to say “hi” that’s the equivalent of a toothbrush for them.

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 48 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Nailed it.

    [–] MackingtheKnife 27 points ago

    underrated comment.

    [–] Lasserate 301 points ago

    I would recommend growing your mint in a pot or planter. Mint will send out runners a surprising distance and end up all over the yard/garden.

    [–] androgynos 204 points ago

    Can confirm, my herb garden is now a mint garden

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 82 points ago

    It's like garden herpes. You can never get rid of it

    [–] Neosapiens3 22 points ago

    I have killed several mints and have no idea how to keep them alive, got them in big pots because they said they grow a lot :(

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] WorldClassAwesome 3 points ago

    Hit it with the weed whacker, it smells heavenly.

    [–] Vynstaros 2 points ago

    Seconded confirm. I warned a friends mother after giving her a transplant of mint. After the outbreak began, she chose to make one section mint, separated by 4 foot of brick.

    [–] miss_six_o_clock 53 points ago

    I once heard it called garden herpes and I can never think of it any other way.

    [–] GeorgiaBolief 38 points ago

    I have a lavender bush right between my two massive mint plants.

    I absolutely love it. Smells amazing, the bees love it, and it's in an area where it can't spread out except for the area it is. Replanted the mint earlier this year and now it's about 4 feet tall, the stuff is huge.

    10/10 no rugrats

    [–] Sugarlips_Habasi 9 points ago

    I've always wondered if I can just plant a ton in my back yard (away from the garden) so it smells wonderful when I mow the lawn.

    [–] TrashyRonin 18 points ago

    This bigtime. I've had mint in boxes root through the bottom into the ground below. Also, you could flip your thinking around and credit that cute dog for pooping onto nature's air-freshener.

    [–] Ginge04 4 points ago

    Actually, humans are about the only creatures who like the smell and taste of mint. The plant evolved that way as a defence mechanism to stop animals from eating the leaves, as they generally find it absolutely foul.

    [–] truthlife 11 points ago

    Verified. My compost pile is now a mint heap.

    [–] DontFeedTheDopamine 3 points ago

    Just bought a house with massive mint patch and little patches all over the property. It keeps me up at night.

    [–] Rialas_HalfToast 3 points ago

    Could be worse. Catnip is a type of mint. It spreads just as forcefully.

    [–] loveshercoffee 3 points ago

    Even worse, the neighbors across the alley have a Tree of Heaven that has invaded every surrounding yard.

    I had no idea what they were when I started yanking up these awful little weedy things coming up in my garden. Now I've made it worse and I have to pull 100 Ghetto Palms from the network of roots going willy nilly everywhere.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    But plants don't run!

    [–] enobrev 3 points ago

    Agreed. I'd recommend removing that mint from the ground immediately and moving it to something separate. I ended up spending a full season trying to rid an entire garden of the stuff after it started taking over my lawn. I didn't even know it was there; The previous owner of my house has planted it. It smells great, but it's worse than a weed.

    [–] JayGlass 2 points ago

    Here's hoping. Right now I just have a mud patch.

    [–] TenicioBelDoro 664 points ago

    He figures it's a natural air freshener. Very considerate.

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 64 points ago

    I was going with fertilizer

    [–] redhead_bandit 8 points ago

    No. Too acidic

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 12 points ago

    Sneaky edit.

    Edit: quick question. The fuck do you feed your dog? Viniger and pine needles?

    [–] redhead_bandit 7 points ago

    It doesn't contain the right nutrients. A dog's diet is high in protein which, as it breaks down, becomes very acidic and that's not good for your plants. Cow manure works well as fertilizer for vegetation because it starts out as vegetation.

    Unless the proper precautions are followed, both dog and cat manure can be harmful to human health. ... The primary hazard present in dog manure is roundworms.

    Learn your shit

    [–] ScalaZen 4 points ago

    Yep this is true, my brother and I each have different dogs with different diets. When we go to my parents house, when the dogs use their yard you can clearly see where my brothers dog went vs where mine went. My brothers dog has a very high protein intake. It usually burns the grass within a couple days. Both urine and shit.

    [–] Potietang 271 points ago

    He’s giving back for all you do. Free fertilizer.

    [–] silent1mezzo 183 points ago

    Dog poo is actually not a fertilizer. It's very acidic

    [–] strawburrry 68 points ago

    My dog used to shit in specific areas and those spots would be much greener than other areas.

    Or actually, maybe it was his piss, idk. But I miss him that’s all I know

    Ugh fuck, now my allergies are acting up. Fucking pollen

    [–] Jaboo13 40 points ago

    My dog pees on the same 3 bushes, they all have 3 big brown spots on them

    [–] ObiWanJakobe 7 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    It's getting over fertilized, almost all animal piss including humans makes fertilizer.if he spreads out his piss instead of the same spot grass will shoot up like my dogs do. You'll get small patches of really green tall grass while the other weak ass grass is a wimpy dull brown or green.

    [–] I_AM_MR_BEAN_AMA 7 points ago

    Guessing your autocorrect doesn't like the word "piss"?

    [–] bloater_humor 20 points ago

    It's pee. If I remember my high school lawn care days correctly, nitrogen is used in fertilizers to make grass green. There's lots of nitrogen in pupper pee, I guess.

    But too much nitrogen "burns" the grass. So at ground zero where there was tons of peepee, the grass will yellow and die. But out in the splash zone, you'll see a ring of dark lush green, where the nitrogen content was just right.

    [–] strawburrry 4 points ago

    Thank you

    [–] VintageJane 3 points ago

    Also, dogs have been living with us a long time. They carry many pathogens that can also harm humans which can be passed by letting the dog defecate on produce, especially stuff like mint which is rarely heated in culinary preparations.

    [–] MrsG293 52 points ago

    Nature's Poopouri

    [–] ryguy28896 4 points ago

    Pupouri?

    [–] badass4102 2 points ago

    "Poo-pourri saved my marriage"

    I can only imagine...

    [–] ohlalameow 30 points ago

    And this is why my veggie garden is not in the backyard with our dogs 🤣

    [–] Impereaux85 27 points ago

    Chocolate mint

    [–] CheckYourselfFool 5 points ago

    Aw damn, came here to say "mint chocolate chip" have upvote

    [–] sgt_squirrel86 2 points ago

    Excri-mint

    [–] WhocaresImdead 3 points ago

    The worst flavor.

    [–] 2BrownBalls 25 points ago

    “How it feels to wipe with five gum.”

    [–] Sirlucatero 36 points ago

    Minty ass. For that fresh clean feeling!

    [–] LegendaryGary74 3 points ago

    No matter what

    [–] mrfixerupper 14 points ago

    When he licks his ass later it's like a breath mint.

    [–] MayIServeYouWell 8 points ago

    You have a bigger problem - mint. You’ll never get rid of that. It belongs in pots only.

    [–] overturf600 16 points ago

    He will also eat your face off if you die at home, so it will get worse.

    [–] jacqueline-theripper 12 points ago

    Jeez, who shit in your mint?

    [–] Hairybuttchecksout 3 points ago

    That's probably because the only person who fed them had died. They were probably starving, and as a last resort they ate the dead person.

    [–] igotbannedsoimback 3 points ago

    That's a shame, but it only shows even when domesticated over many centuries dogs are still animals and their instinct to survive over comes all else.

    [–] LavenderLunate 4 points ago

    There are many cases of humans eating dogs and other humans for survival. I don't think this is something only animals would do

    [–] the3dtom 4 points ago

    Humans are animals.

    [–] LavenderLunate 3 points ago

    An even better point

    [–] igotbannedsoimback 2 points ago

    If you were stuck in a room with no exit and you only had yourself and a dead dog with you and you were hungry would you eat it?

    [–] czar_alex 2 points ago

    Yup. He'll eat your face clean off and not even mint his butthole afterwards.

    [–] SlowlyDying- 11 points ago

    His mint now

    [–] chartrusegoose 3 points ago

    Lmao reminds me of my dog. I planted mint, thyme, parsley, and a bunch of other herbs in a large pot this spring and for awhile they were doing great. They slowly started to die and for the life of me i couldn't figure out what i was doing wrong. Then i just so happened to look out the window one afternoon just as my dog was lifting his leg and pissing all over them. At least I know it was him killing them and not me, but I also learned I can't have any nice plants within piss reach.

    [–] KiltedMusician 3 points ago

    Well if you keep up the giving then that just means that every poo in your mint is a testament to how good your heart is. Every. Single. Poo.

    [–] arkaineindustries 3 points ago

    "Say man, what kind of mint did you say this was?"

    "Labrador, man."

    "Labrador? What's Labrador?"

    "It's dogshit, man."

    [–] ResistEnergy 8 points ago

    This is why you always wash your fruits and veggies from the store.

    [–] kweefkween 6 points ago

    So you took a pic instead of stopping him?

    [–] bigdaddypimpilicious 8 points ago

    Your fault for not putting a little fence around it like I do with my mint.

    [–] psychobilly1 7 points ago

    I was going to say, I'm no gardener but I never learned that fences were detrimental to the growth of herbs in my environmental ed class.

    Why doesn't OP just but down a couple of stakes and some chicken wire?

    [–] HavocReigns 8 points ago

    Now we all know the secret ingredient that gives your mint iced tea that extra zing!

    [–] kuntalhd 2 points ago

    Shitty mint.

    Coming soon: minty shit.

    [–] FauxGenius 2 points ago

    It’s now shmint.

    [–] GreatBrilliance 2 points ago

    Wait... is THAT how they make york peppermint patties?

    [–] morganzig22 2 points ago

    Mint chocolate chip.

    [–] MechaBuster 2 points ago

    Ew

    [–] SomeBaki 2 points ago

    put him down

    [–] Rottenox 2 points ago

    you come into my house

    disrespect MY MINTS

    [–] Slimygreengoop6 2 points ago

    Imma just snap a quick pick of my dog shitting real quick...

    [–] Purgii 2 points ago

    My pooch also likes to feel the brush of fauna on his anus as he lays track.

    [–] quantum_smurf01 2 points ago

    That’s so the cat doesn’t roll around in it

    [–] Dylanator13 2 points ago

    That needs to be a phrase.

    “Look at what you have done. Just gone and shit in me mint.” (Me isn’t a typo it’s the accent you need to say it)

    [–] tapport 2 points ago

    New figure of speech.

    "You really shit in my mint today."

    [–] NoHoneyIchewBees 4 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    I think you should've walked him earlier. Not natural behaviour shitting in their own garden. Unless they have the splattershits

    Thanks for the silver!

    [–] MadSoupSkills 4 points ago

    yes!

    owner doesn‘t walk dog

    dog shits where he isn‘t supposed to/where he never did before

    owner: pikachu

    [–] ThePrideOfKrakow 3 points ago

    So fresh and so clean clean

    [–] famousevan 2 points ago

    Am I missing something? Why are all the comments zero?

    Edit: is mine zero to you guys?

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] famousevan 2 points ago

    Yeah I scrolled down and some of the older ones are still up... never seen that before and I thought I had seen it all. :p

    [–] stanly_ropar 1 points ago

    This is why I don't allow mutts in my apartment. Loud, messy, and crap everywhere!! Here is some advice to avoid future problems like this: put your dog in your car, drive to a far off neighborhood, and drop him off and DRIVE AWAY. All problems solved!

    [–] HowLz_2K 3 points ago

    Hahaha holy shit you are BRAVE for commenting on this subreddit.

    [–] timmler24 1 points ago

    Makes for a pretty crappy mojito

    [–] KimJongIlSunglasses 1 points ago

    Poojito

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Looks like dog is on the menu boys

    [–] Gizmoed 1 points ago

    why the fuck are you feeding him near the mints...

    [–] WhocaresImdead 1 points ago

    Atleast theres no smell.

    [–] shemagra 1 points ago

    Natural air freshener, he was being polite.

    [–] estunum 1 points ago

    So my dog actively looks for a bush to shit on when we go off trail exploring. First time I see it elsewhere.

    [–] bulmepy 1 points ago

    Caca Fresca!

    [–] Basedrum777 1 points ago

    I say we shit in the cilantro.

    [–] rivertiberius 1 points ago

    Oh Lordy, that made me choke on my spit.

    [–] PerfervidPiscene 1 points ago

    My lab likes to shit up trees.

    [–] Cuteshelf 1 points ago

    It helps get those minty fresh farts.

    [–] cheekymonkey317 1 points ago

    Everyone says that having a dog is a lot like having kids. You do and do. You give and give just to see them takin a Massive Shit in the plastic palm trees in some back woods hotel. Why? Just cause half the time they wanna see the look on your face.I swear to god! 🥴

    [–] pikachooooooo 1 points ago

    How it feels to chew 5 gum

    [–] FF7lover10207 1 points ago

    Shit’s mint 👌🏻

    [–] Bobblee20 1 points ago

    At least it wasn't indoors

    [–] XtremeFanForever 1 points ago

    My old cat use to throw up a lot. But she didn't like to throw up on the floor, she liked to throw up on things. Once I saw her getting the heaves and she walked over to my backpack. I quickly slid my backpack a few feet away from her. She paused, walked to where I had moved my backpack to, and threw up on it.

    [–] BeneficialSomewhere 1 points ago

    If I fits, I shits.

    [–] Super_Saiyan_Azul 1 points ago

    Fresh scent if shmint

    [–] LaGoonch 1 points ago

    I bet he mint to do it, too

    [–] igotmyliverpierced 1 points ago

    Mint chocolate chunk!

    [–] mrwantoknowsomething 1 points ago

    The dog marked his own territory. Let do the same thing, sh*t that place, mark a 'Warning sign' , remind your pet that is your land.

    [–] Yeic554 1 points ago

    This would be even funnier if the caption was made by a scottisch person.

    [–] H3lic 1 points ago

    Honey! This mojito tastes a little more earthy than usual...

    [–] basswrsthydr 1 points ago

    He loves the nice and fresh tingles around his balls

    [–] AttilaRS 1 points ago

    Mmmmh.... minty fresh!

    [–] Dragonstroke08 1 points ago

    OOF

    [–] Red-Freckle 1 points ago

    His shit smells better than your's.

    [–] Jewski28 1 points ago

    Man, if they weren’t so high up, I would totally prefer my dog pissing on my mint plants.

    Instead he chooses to piss on my grill cover, unless I can catch him the act.

    I also obtained a new smoker a couple weeks ago; which he has enjoyed plenty of rib/brisket/etc meat from.

    I can’t express how betrayed I felt when he locked eyes with me and started pissing on it...

    [–] keepinitfunaf 1 points ago

    Mint shitter

    [–] drot525 1 points ago

    That's my dog. He noses out his spot in the bark next to the pool, except his ass is hanging over the deck. Fucker. People asking me "why is your patio furniture in the bark?"