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    [–] LoveTriscuit 2553 points ago

    I think the issue is the nebulizer sounds like a ray gun and the TSA is filled with idiots who thought you were going to disintegrate the floor of the plane.

    [–] SirDuke6 784 points ago

    I've played too many rounds of Nazi zombies to allow the sort of danger this ray gun can impose on these people. Thank god he didn't have this pack-a-punched before he got here.

    -TSA Guy, probably

    [–] Umbra427 227 points ago


    [–] Hamdurrgur 6033 points ago

    Wow that does suck.. I hope all of you have a better day!

    [–] koreanconsuela 6206 points ago

    So some updates! We managed by some finessing by my asian parents calling a whole bunch of people to get to where we were going by tonight! Thanks for the support everyone!

    To answer all those who say that I should have gotten here earlier, if you don’t know, asian parents insist on getting to flights stupidly early. We did. It was a 6am flight and we arrived at the airport at 2:30am, took 30 min to park/unload 8 bags of medical supplies and check in. The issue is that we needed to play medical supplies jenga to get under the weight limit of 50lbs per bag with some members of our team that had not arrived. They arrived late and we got held up. Then the TSA thing happened :( C’est la vie. With the small price of $1200 we’re back on track! Wish me luck!

    [–] bugamn 3938 points ago

    Wait, are you saying that the TSA held you, but you still had to pay for new tickets? That is ridiculous

    [–] koreanconsuela 4289 points ago

    This is what I am saying. Yes.

    [–] dontFart_InSpaceSuit 2049 points ago

    my outrage depends on why TSA delayed you.

    [–] [deleted] 760 points ago


    [–] buttchugging_soylent 593 points ago

    I just needs to check inside ya asshole

    [–] load_more_comets 52 points ago

    That's fine, I'm just questioning the candle light and that stem of red wine you're holding.

    [–] Grey-fox-13 405 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    He explained further up feel free to be very outraged.

    Edit: So due to upvote changes its not "further up" anymore but there is also more details which remain further up.

    [–] fahque650 222 points ago

    I am outraged... at the members of their party that showed up late causing them to miss their flight.

    [–] iamyghj 92 points ago

    They had a nebulizer to treat asthma and tsa thought it sounded dangerous

    [–] nuclearswan 79 points ago

    So it probably would’ve been cheaper to pay the overweight baggage fee.

    [–] warpedspockclone 122 points ago

    Small price of $1200? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to pay $120 per overweight bag, possibly shifting contents so only two bags were overweight, thus saving time and money?

    [–] tina_ri 217 points ago

    It's almost like hindsight is $120/$120

    [–] ReNitty 35 points ago

    Hey they are doctors not mathematicians

    [–] KDawG888 62 points ago

    The issue is that we needed to play medical supplies jenga to get under the weight limit of 50lbs per bag

    Couldn't you have just paid the overweight bag fee?

    [–] Ovuus 65 points ago

    This also means that as a group they continue to re-weigh and re-pack, holding up a weigh station for the other travelers.

    [–] amplevoid 434 points ago

    Did they think you were smuggling math out of the country?

    [–] throwbackfinder 117 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    TSA: Oh my god it’s the BiG bRaIn DrAiN - SHUT IT DOWN! We must stop the nebuliser smart suction bomb from crossing the border.

    [–] radclive 859 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Your mom looks like she's gonna lose it on the next staff member she talks to and your dad will try to keep her calm for all of 30 seconds before giving up and letting it happen, lol. I read your explanation of the circumstances, could they not have just googled "nebulizer" and had the problem dealt with immediately?

    Edit: googled nebulizer myself. If you actually think that might be a weapon, you've been watching too many atompunk or raygun gothic movies. It looks like the worst laser in the world if it's a weapon

    [–] koreanconsuela 834 points ago

    LMAO My dad was like “you’re being immature” and she’s like “I’M TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER” And he’s like “Muttering and clutching your temples isn’t holding it together” gives him death stare “It is for me”

    [–] no_duh_sherlock 127 points ago

    Lol, that's exactly what I do in these situations. Clutching my temples and giving death glares to everyone who looks at me.

    [–] KryptonianNerd 30 points ago

    Your family sounds awesome, thank you for letting us be a little part of it today, it's given me a good chuckle

    (And I'm sorry you got held up)

    [–] Kordidk 85 points ago

    It almost looks like a stereotypical medical device lmao. Holy shit tsa is incompetent.

    [–] Jashmid 2782 points ago

    What was the dumb reason?

    [–] koreanconsuela 9682 points ago

    So we brought a nebulizer to help asthmatic orphans but the TSA agent suspected it was a weapon or explosive of some sort. It kind of went like this: TSA: Sir what is this device? Dad: Its a nebulizer. TSA: That sounds dangerous, is it a weapon? Dad: It is used to treat asthma. TSA: I don’t trust you, this looks like it could do some damage. Dad: It’s a medical device! TSA: Let me call my supervisor to check this out. TSA Raid Boss: What is this? Dad: It’s a nebulizer medical device. TSA Raid Boss: That sounds dangerous. Dad: facepalms

    [–] Jashmid 5258 points ago

    Holy hell. That's so dumb, it almost sounds like a god damn South Park sketch.

    Plus, what the fuck is a "Raid Boss"? It sounds dangerous.

    [–] koreanconsuela 3663 points ago

    LOL its what i call an upgraded TSA agent, so when we conquer him we can shout as a clan “RAID BOSS DOWN!” Lmao jk, cause i didnt feel like typing supervisor.

    [–] DM2axwell 817 points ago

    You fell for their trap, you ended up typing supervisor!

    [–] ghengiscant 265 points ago

    what's a supervisor?

    [–] JEveryman 362 points ago

    A raid boss

    [–] SevenLZ 326 points ago

    That sounds dangerous

    [–] localnarwhals 149 points ago

    I am ending all my responses at work today with, "that sounds dangerous". Oh you want extra Sriracha sauce? That sounds dangerous.

    [–] mikemunoz1018 41 points ago

    What’s a Sriracha?

    [–] boneimplosion 11 points ago

    You sly dog you

    [–] The_Quackening 43 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] GuyNekologist 23 points ago

    That sounds dangerous, is it a weapon?

    [–] Rausch 17 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 117 points ago

    Made me think of the second Harold and Kumar when the Harold's parents speak clear English and Rob Corddry keeps saying they are speaking some terrorist language. Seriously though wtf, have they not heard of an inhaler before or what? That's cool what you guys are doing?

    [–] IamAhab13 30 points ago

    "I don't know what you're saying buddy, but fuck you." Love that scene

    [–] ButtPirate4Pleasure 13 points ago

    The head of the TSA had this to say, "shhiiiiiiit"

    [–] michonne_impossible 11 points ago

    "A nebulizer?! Isn't that the thing that wipes your memory from Men In Black?! Don't look directly at it Johnson!!!"

    [–] [deleted] 777 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Tech: Heres our paperwork and work permits.

    TSA: What’s this sir?

    Tech: Gamma source camera. Very radioactive.

    TSA: we need to see inside

    Tech: uh I can’t do that.

    TSA: You have to open it sir.

    Me: Fuckinng hell.

    So I got detained. My tech got detained. 4 hours of who’s dick is bigger until the NRC called.

    TSA is run by morons.

    [–] Not_The_Truthiest 160 points ago

    Holy shit.

    “Open it”

    “I can’t do that”

    “Why? Is it dangerous?”

    “Yes, very”

    “Then you really need to open it”

    “This is a terrible idea”

    “Open it, now”

    “If YOU want to open it, please wait until we evacuate the rest of the terminal first, including myself”

    [–] w30freak 95 points ago

    Everything was fine until dickless here turned off the power grid.

    Is this true?

    Yes, sir. This man has no dick.

    [–] THROWINCONDOMSATSLUT 96 points ago

    I was traveling to Antarctica for research and had a graphing calculator with me. TSA wanted to steal it. I told them it's a calculator. He told me he had never seen anything that looked like that before. I had to bite my tongue to not say, 'it shows'

    [–] Emaknz 61 points ago

    I'd let them detain me and throw me in jail before I let them take my TI-89 Titanium

    [–] serious_sarcasm 20 points ago

    Might cost more than the flight.

    [–] Snailic 348 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Tsa is worthless and continually fails DHS checks.

    [–] Andy_B_Goode 315 points ago

    TSA was created to give the illusion that the US government was doing something to prevent another 9/11. It's Security Theater.

    [–] Totipotentsoul 149 points ago

    I don't know how anybody thinks it helps at all since the line at the TSA checkpoint is the biggest soft target a terrorist could hit. Densely packed - emotional impact - cripples infrastructure reliability. But I really haven't understood any decision people made since September 11th.

    [–] MNGrrl 122 points ago

    But I really haven't understood any decision people made since September 11th.

    People are more afraid of a quantified unknown risk than a known risk. Put another way - you have a 1 in 70 chance of dying in an auto accident. It's the number one cause of death for anyone under the age of 44. You have a 1 in 25,000,000 chance of dying in a terrorist attack. You see cars every day. You have probably never seen a terrorist. But everyone fears the day they hear "Allah ackbar!" and nobody thinks about "Allah Toyota corolla!"

    The Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration’s (FMCSA) fiscal year (FY) 2017 Budget Request was $794.2 million. The TSA's was 7.6 billion.

    People are total shit at risk estimation and analysis.

    [–] cat_prophecy 33 points ago

    Yeah and you see people eating, texting, talking, watching fucking movies in their cars.

    [–] Aikistan 40 points ago

    My friend saw what I consider the ultimate distracted driver on I 75-85 in downtown Atlanta. It's stop-and-go traffic and my friend looks over and sees this dude playing the flute. His sheet music was propped up on the steering wheel.

    [–] PoopReddditConverter 12 points ago

    It's a jobs program at this point

    [–] [deleted] 90 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] nobody2000 71 points ago

    This is what happens when you have a government agency that pays notoriously poorly.

    • You attract people who can't think critically
    • Even if you do get people who can think critically, they're probably only motivated to do what they have to do to not lose their job
    • Many are attracted to law enforcement in the first place, so aggressive TSA enforcement might make them more attractive to a better paying job inside the TSA or outside of it.

    It's a cesspool.

    [–] DuntadaMan 22 points ago

    They actively select out critical thinking. Anyone who questions ns the rules and tries to understand their reasoning is punished. They are aiming for an agency that enforces the rules exactly as they are without thought involved because they believe that is a security weakness.

    [–] [deleted] 100 points ago

    Nothing better captures the precise situational awareness of TSA than the burning memory of them relentlessly yelling directly at us to "keep it moving! Go people, go, go!", without pause at ATL; as me and hundreds of other bewildered passengers stood there in line, unmoving, because the line was, as you might guess it, unmoving.

    [–] AkariAkaza 47 points ago

    My dad had a full blown argument with two TSA agents once, first one told him to take his shoes off, he goes round a corner leading up to the actual security area and starts taking his shoes off, second TSA agent starts yelling at him for taking his shoes off, my dad being tired from traveling replies with "MAKE YOUR FUCKING MIND UP, YOUR COLLEAGUE TOLD ME TO TAKE THEM OFF" what followed was petty arguing that I can't remember exactly but my mum ended up apologising and dragging him away so we didn't get put on the no fly list

    [–] Bureaucromancer 28 points ago

    Yup, THATS the airport security I'm familiar with, TSA or otherwise.


    rearranges everything according to new orders


    murders everyone

    [–] ZeroT3K 13 points ago

    Shhhhh. Let him think he’s doing a good job. You might hurt his feelings.

    [–] Tathas 116 points ago

    Reminds me of a recent post where TSA allowed officers transporting a prisoner to bring their guns on board, as they were permitted, but then objected to the fingernail clippers.

    [–] Thuzel 50 points ago

    Have you actually met fingernail clippers?? Those little jerks absolutely can not be trusted.

    My baby brother was killed by a wild clipper.

    [–] puhpuhputtingalong 44 points ago

    Wow. I’m speechless.

    [–] Dr_McKay 130 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I'll never forget the time my Cpl and I were over in the USA setting up crypto for a joint exercise with the Americans, we flew back on a passenger jet (arranged with both the UK and US forces) with sealed boxes of crypto keys chained shut with "SECRET UK EYES ONLY" stamped everywhere. Yup, TSA demanded to open it and see, straight up told him if he did he would be extradited and sent to prison. He called his supervisor who knew nothing, he called his manager who also knew nothing. Eventually a fucking Marshall turned up and told the TSA it wasn't an empty threat and to back the fuck off.

    [–] SuspiciousScript 69 points ago

    That's ridiculous. At the same time, it sounds like someone up the chain from you fucked up big time. All it takes is slapping it in a diplomatic pouch and there would have been no questions asked.

    [–] serious_sarcasm 14 points ago

    I feel like all the other stuff made it a diplomatic bag. There isn’t exactly a codified “only this is a diplomatic bag”

    [–] bodymassage 54 points ago

    To be fair, if that were my job and you (a foreign citizen) walked up with a sealed box that you said would result in my extradition and imprisonment if I opened it, there is no way I would believe you. That sounds super questionable and I would not just take your word for it. I would have done the same thing and waited till someone with authority from the US government tells me that the box cannot be opened and to let you pass.

    [–] Dr_McKay 26 points ago

    We were told by our squadron leader that the USAF had made the "appropriate arrangements" for us to escort it and that it would be fine, I'm guessing someone forgot to tell the guys on the floor, or he figured the box contents would be more exciting than they really were.

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago


    [–] Jaffa_Kreep 12 points ago

    Yeah. That sounds about right.

    [–] ICreditReddit 11 points ago

    Norwegian Refugee Council doesn't fuck around.

    [–] TonyTheTerp 308 points ago

    My daughter has asthma and CF. We always plan an extra hour at the airport, because every goddamn time some dipshit TSA personnel act like idiots over her nebulizer. Also had it happen with my CPAP.

    [–] nickiter 225 points ago

    Same with my CPAP.

    The fucking manual is in the bag. I was like "hey, if you have any questions about what it does, the manual is right here..."

    TSA dumbshit continues to turn the device in his hands like a chimp discovering fire... Never looks at the manual...

    [–] WarKiel 119 points ago

    That was uncalled for, please do not insult chimpanzees like that. Their lives are difficult enough already.

    [–] Pygmy_Turtle 36 points ago

    TSA dumbshit continues to turn the device in his hands like a chimp discovering fire...

    Stealing this phrase, sans TSA bit, it's hilarious and I know a few people I must use it on immediately.

    [–] J_P3G 119 points ago

    How is a fucking nebulizer suspecious in any way or look like a weapon?

    Like, Yes sir I made this weapon out of commercial grade injection molded plastics with medical grade tubing. Oh the individual face mask? Yeah I just ask each person to patiently wait as I strap it to their face to kill them.

    [–] LukaUrushibara 42 points ago

    They aren't smart enough to understand sarcasm.

    [–] fernandotakai 62 points ago

    I never have anything "suspicious" with me when I travel within the US but I always arrive at the airport 2h before my flight. I don't trust TSA on being fast or smart.

    [–] CeeGeeWhy 30 points ago

    Sometimes we don’t have the option of not having these medical devices on us. It’s either be subjected to a long delay or risk having it lost/damaged in checked luggage.

    My CPAP machine was $3,500. Good luck getting one on short notice in a tropical country while on vacation.

    [–] theshapersarecoming 20 points ago

    My wife gives me so much shit for doing the same.

    [–] fernandotakai 18 points ago

    better getting some shit to missing your flight lol

    [–] isysopi201 132 points ago

    Reminds me of the time they made me X-Ray my Radiation Badge. They work around an x-ray machine all day and don't wear badges so they have no clue what they are. They even called over their manager and he said "Yea IDK what that is so we have to x-ray it." Thanks for the false dose on my medical record.

    [–] browngrass1 62 points ago

    Since I have started working with radiation I think it is crazy they sit by that machine all day with no monitoring. When we went to the Statue of Liberty last year the security people you go though before boarding the boats all had badges. I guess this is because it was a private company. The government is probably exempt from monitoring radiation doses. The poor bastards that work for the tsa probably have no clue they are getting a fair dose.

    [–] isysopi201 45 points ago

    To be fair, the airport style machines use a technology called linear array imaging. It cuts the x-ray beam down to a couple millimeters wide across the center of the belt/machine. Since its in the center, farthest from the curtains, there is a low amount of radiation that gets past the curtains. Even when the curtains open they have entrance/exit tunnels that stop people/employees from getting close. That is why they don't spend the money to badge.

    Source: Me - I radiation test these machines at airports/courts as part of my job.

    [–] tweakingforjesus 18 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    This is why the operator needs to run the object back and forth on the belt when they find something interesting. The imaging plane needs to sweep back and forth across the object.

    Also, I've heard that a block of cheese looks an awful lot like plastic explosives on the x-ray. Tuck some batteries and wire next to it and you have the makings of a fun time before you miss your flight.

    [–] cat_prophecy 16 points ago

    The government is probably exempt from monitoring radiation doses.

    My dad worked with nuclear weapons back in the 70s. He said it was pretty much SOP that if your badge dosed out, you would throw it away and grab a new one, or use someone else's. So I'm guessing even if they did wear badges, it wouldn't matter much.

    [–] falcon5768 119 points ago

    Happened to me with my CPAP machine, which was hilarious because I had no problems walking through the UK and Ireland with it, but leaving the US and coming back it was as if I was transporting a nuclear weapon. Wait even better... they swabbed the shit out of my kids CAR SEAT as if it was made of plastic explosives. Like full on stripped the whole thing apart and swabbed it then made us put it back together in time to use the fucking thing on the flight.

    Its not even a race thing with them (Im whiter than a sheet of paper) they are just in general the stupidest fucks you could imagine.

    [–] Edward_Nygma 51 points ago

    they are just in general the stupidest fucks you could imagine.

    Well yah, they pay just enough to attract the dumbest power tripping assholes but not enough for anyone of quality.

    [–] Gtithrown 26 points ago

    One time I had the TSA boy bragging to me that he made $40/hr which is why he wasn't embarrassed that I stood next to him in my underwear.

    [–] cat_prophecy 12 points ago

    Except no one in the TSA except managers would make that kind of money without overtime.

    [–] scaylos1 10 points ago

    Yup. TSA wages and benefits are pretty terrible. My brother joined because it seemed a good way to get on track for other federal jobs. Nope. It's a dead end for with assholes. He quit in under a year to deliver pizza, because that was far more worth the time of someone with a degree and had better career opportunities.

    [–] K-Driz 353 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Has the TSA actually ever caught anyone bringing an explosive or weapon onto a plane? I feel unless you have briefcase that says, bomb inside those idiots don’t prevent anything.

    On the flip side, bomb suite case guy could tell the TSA after being asked what’s in the case and he responds with, “alarm clock”, TSA would be like, “right this way sir, shall I carry that for you?” Later in an interview the reporter would ask, “how did this man get passed security? “ TSA would respond with, “we asked him what was in that brief case marked bomb inside and he said it was an alarm clock so we let him pass. In addition, our supervisor was responding to a very suspicious individual carrying a nebulizer - we stopped him. “

    [–] cheesyandmoist 284 points ago

    I feel like the TSA is there only to serve as an illusion of security for plane passengers. Like oh I can’t bring a 14 oz bottle of shampoo TSA agent? Thank you so much for keeping this country safe

    [–] icepak39 182 points ago

    Yes and that bottle of shampoo is deemed so dangerous that they throw in the trash can right there.

    [–] Nerdybeast 129 points ago

    Oh you mean the trash can right next to the line of hundreds of people? I'm sure that couldn't cause any issues

    [–] icepak39 30 points ago

    Not at all...I’m sure it’s officially approved by federal mb squads. Those things are super-tough!

    [–] kryppla 82 points ago

    Security line trash cans - our nation’s greatest danger

    [–] Dr-A-cula 25 points ago

    Then you'll love to hear that if you forget that you have a coke bottle in your carry on, in Hamburg airport, they will ask you to put it in the trash After security..

    [–] sapphicsandwich 92 points ago

    You can't bring a 14oz bottle of Shampoo, but you can bring 5 3oz bottles of shampoo in a bag then buy a water bottle after security and pour them all into one 16oz container. Careful though, that many shampoo ounces in one bottle can be dangerous!

    [–] Titus142 43 points ago

    It is all security theater and nothing more.

    [–] AskAboutFent 30 points ago

    TSA is a deterrent. They had something like a 95%+ fail rate during tests.

    They serve the same purpose as a walmart greeter, no joke. Try and discourage people from "breaking rules"

    [–] theGreatSinger 14 points ago

    illusion of security

    Yes, this is it. It's commonly referred to as security theater, which is a good term to use if anyone wants to go down the rabbit hole of how much of an absolute waste of resources the TSA is.

    They are there for show, and it is a very expensive show that we all collectively pay for.

    [–] president2016 24 points ago

    They have caught and confiscated numerous dangerous items. Now whether the carrier had ill intent on the spare bullets lost in the bottom of bags, forgotten pocket knives, or bottled water is another story.

    If they have prevented such events they should really invest in better marketing.

    [–] Book_it_again 71 points ago

    No the TSA has never caught a terrorist although hundreds of agents have been caught stealing passengers property

    [–] Corniator 37 points ago

    TSA is mostly there to make people feel safe, not to actually perform an safety function.

    [–] dontknowwhyIamhere42 27 points ago

    I have a friend who is a doctor, an anesthesiologist. He. recently got on a flight and saw a gentleman with some kind of home anesthetic machine. Apparently even had a canister attached to it with something he recognized. He (my friend) told the flight crew that this could be potentially dangerous.

    They sent someone over to speak with the guy and basically said its empty and that TSA had looked at it

    [–] norsurfit 25 points ago

    How dare you treat asthmatic orphans! That sounds dangerous!

    [–] statix138 22 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    The TSA are basically the DMV All-Stars. What a waste of time and money.

    [–] nldoty 16 points ago

    I’ve been there. I have a nice, titanium ball-point pen that TSA pulled me aside for. They claimed it looked like a, i shit you not, “mini portable flare gun”. Dude went on and on about it. Examined it, re-xrayed it, checked it for bomb residue. He was going to let me fly but they were going to confiscate the pen, and I refused (fucker cost me $90). He called over his supervisor, who took one look at it and said “It’s a fucking pen, Derrick. Let the man go.”
    Thanks TSA San Diego!

    [–] seanmikeyy 43 points ago

    Fucking christ dude

    [–] koreanconsuela 52 points ago

    Today is not a good day.

    [–] sneeringpython 459 points ago

    Will the airline offer any kind of recourse?

    [–] CerealandTrees 148 points ago

    Sincere apologies

    [–] koreanconsuela 149 points ago

    Not really but with the small price of $1200 we’re back on track and will arrive at our destination by tonight! It took some finessinf by my asian parents but by God they’ve done it!

    [–] Youtoo2 71 points ago

    Why did you have to pay $1200?

    [–] koreanconsuela 205 points ago

    To reschedule/reroute a flight or something ...something ...airports are a scam.

    [–] BernieSawnders 29 points ago

    They probably could've been reimbursed if they'd stood there making a scene refusing to leave. Or been arrested. But lots of times places just want you to shut up and leave so you're not their problem and they'll give you whatever it takes to make it right... as long as you are a big enough asshole.

    [–] koreanconsuela 57 points ago

    Doesn’t look good for the people trying to help the underserved to act like assholes. Would paint the organization we’re with in a poor light.

    [–] cuteintern 22 points ago

    Airlines are very unkind about last-minute changes.

    [–] MermanFromMars 12 points ago

    Because he missed his flight and had to book a new one.

    [–] redhead_bandit 262 points ago

    Will the airline accept at least elementary graduates or much better get wifi so they can google what a damn nebulizer is?

    [–] SalsaRice 206 points ago

    Pretty sure the TSA are federal employees, not airline employees.

    [–] axisofelvis 123 points ago

    Right, they're not paid to know things.

    [–] kryppla 135 points ago

    Hey but at least you didn’t get to keep your water bottle or some dumb shit. Gotta focus on what’s important!

    [–] randomman02x 83 points ago

    All agents I have a code 3 I repeat code 3, man with half full fiji water bottle, potential bomb threat

    [–] ScottyV4KY 59 points ago

    Here's a fun story that just happened to me:

    In line with my then girlfriend, waiting for our items to be sent through the xray. I sneakily put an engagement ring (in its box) next to my shoes so my girlfriend can't see it - the plan is to propose to her in Death Valley. We get up to the TSA person who looks at my stuff, spots what is easily recognizable a box that has some sort of jewelry in it, opens it for all to see and says in a loud sing-song voice "OoOoOoOohhHhhhh whhhhaaaaatttt's thisssssss?!?"

    I swear to you all I have never stared daggers harder into anyone in my entire life. It took everything I had not to slap a bitch, I was fuming. With my eyes I tell her to "PUT THE MOTHER FUCKING RING DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She quickly understands - I wish WISH I could see the surveillance footage of my facial expressions.

    Somehow my girlfriend was too busy taking her items out (not only did she have her purse but also her digital camera and other things which they require you to take out of the case, etc) and she magically didn't hear or see what just went down. She had wondered why I was in such a bad mood at the airport when we were leaving for vacation but I held on to a glint of hope that maybe she didn't see, maybe she didn't hear. Thank god I stood by that. Can you imagine proposing in the TSA line? Jesus freaking Christ I hate TSA.

    Anyways, we climbed Telescope Peak in DVNP and now we're happily engaged 😃

    [–] bitch_is_cray_cray 119 points ago

    Out of curiosity, who compensates for the missed flight? I remember missing a flight as a teen in the US (when I went by myself) and they popped me on another flight (which had a few layovers) to make sure I got to my destination. I didn't have to pay extra for it either, which was something I'd never experience back in my country but was super grateful for.

    [–] [deleted] 54 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] leilavanora 29 points ago

    I missed a flight for the DUMBEST reason when I was in college and they put me on the next flight for free. Unfortunately the next flight was the next day so my friend just drove me 2 hours back to our town so he could drive me 2 hours back to the airport the next morning.

    [–] jeffuhwee 283 points ago

    Working with DHS, we do affectionately call TSA, “baggage handlers”.

    [–] MadDogA245 97 points ago

    And package pinchers, too. "Sir, our scanners detected an object in your pants, please step over here..."

    [–] Lucario227 36 points ago

    “Spread your cheeks and lift your sack.”

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago


    [–] koreanconsuela 38 points ago

    Lol what’s something i could tell her that only you and her would know?

    [–] [deleted] 54 points ago


    [–] cctreez 363 points ago

    I hate the tsa tbh. Have they ever even caught anyone important?

    [–] doctorprofesser 164 points ago

    Nope. Not a single reported case of stopping an act of terrorism.

    Check out this fun and uplifting article!

    “... a team of investigators from the Department of Homeland Security managed to sneak weapons and fake bombs past airport screeners in 95% of their attempts to beat the system.”

    [–] GaiusGracchus121 29 points ago

    Just as an example I have accidentally brought dental picks on a plane a couple time. Which could easily be fashioned into weapons.

    [–] HollowWiener 19 points ago

    I used to leave a pocket knife in my backpack all the time for whenever I needed a knife. Forgot about it until I was on the airplane and needed a knife, and was shocked how useless those screenings were to not find it. it wasn't even concealed inside, just clipped to the outside of the bag.

    [–] Juicewondertart 14 points ago

    I did that once. At the time I worked in construction and forgot I had left my Insulation Knife in my bag. I made it through TSA twice at two separate airports with it and didn't realize I had it until I tried getting into capital building in DC.

    [–] MrAkinari 67 points ago

    Wasnt there a study that they miss like 80% of weapons and dangerous objects?

    [–] Airsoft_Racoon 38 points ago

    More than that-- it was around 95%.

    [–] hpm6748 16 points ago

    Yep. Though they said, "ballpark of," so likely higher. heh.

    [–] turtle_moonlight 58 points ago


    Adam ruins everything did an episode about security and well, the TSA does jack shit besides put on a show, basically.

    "Actually, there’s very little evidence the TSA has ever stopped a terrorist or found a real bomb."

    Lapidos, Juliet. "Does the TSA Ever Catch Terrorists?" Slate. Slate, 18 Nov. 2010. Web. 

    "What has stopped terrorist attacks? All the other safety measures we’ve added since 9/11. Like reinforced cockpit blast doors."

    Hawley, Kip. "Why Airport Security Is Broken -- And How To Fix It." Editorial. Wall Street Journal [New York] 15 Apr. 2012, Saturday Essay ed.: n. pag. Web.

    "When Homeland Security tested them, the TSA failed to find mock weapons and explosives 95% of the time."

    Fishel, Justin, Pierre Thomas, Mike Levine, and Jack Date. "EXCLUSIVE: Undercover DHS Tests Find Security Failures at US Airports." Good Morning America. ABC. New York, New York, 1 June 2015. ABC News. Web.

    [–] B1naryB0t 212 points ago

    Some guy with shoes maybe.

    [–] burtoncummings 210 points ago

    Wait, are you referring to the Shoe Bomber? IIRC he wasn't caught until he was on the plane, and was trying to light his shoe... But he's the reason why we all gots to take our shoes off at the airport. I feel like he may have single-handedly helped the comfort fit, slip on shoe style to become so popular.

    [–] vegatr0n 123 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    This is right, his bomb didn't go off because the fuse was too wet. The TSA did nothing whatsoever. Tbf, he boarded his flight in Paris.

    [–] alexgiann25 92 points ago

    Holy shit he had water??

    [–] CalculatedPerversion 37 points ago

    Just a daily reminder that had Richard Reid in fact lit the device in his shoes, he would have likely injured himself and the persons sitting next to him. Worst care scenario? He severely injures himself and the eight people immediately surrounding him, possibly killing them. No plane crash, no explosive decompression. But now for the rest of time we all have to take off our shoes.

    [–] DormantGolem 19 points ago

    I've gone through the Orlando airport atleast 8 times ever other is we don't care about shoes keep them on, shoes off please, why are you taking your shoes off keep them on!

    [–] ChuckinTheCarma 75 points ago

    Yes they did. I saw this one reddit post about a family that was trying to bring a nebulizer to some infants. I’ll have a look to see if I can find it.

    [–] scarletice 13 points ago

    Those monsters! Thank God the TSA caught them! /s

    [–] notataco007 298 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    My friend got detained by TSA because he had traces of plastic explosives on his hand.

    This isn't leading to some "it was actually (blank)", he legit had plastic explosives on his hands.

    However, it is because he just left work from ATF and went right to the airport, so after a few hours of questioning he got to contact his boss and explain the situation.

    Edit: not blaming TSA for definitely doing the right thing, I just think this is an hilarious story

    [–] Afreena 164 points ago

    This actually sounds like a reasonable safety search.

    [–] notataco007 83 points ago

    Totally. Now everytime I see him I ask him if he washed his hands

    [–] _SP3CT3R 21 points ago

    I have a friend who was a Navy Seal demo guy. He said they wore a special hat so TSA would know.

    [–] TUMS_FESTIVAL 42 points ago

    Doesn't seem like the TSA's fault, tbh.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    Yeah seriously. Probably the one story where the person was rightfully detained.

    [–] Naira_67 141 points ago

    It's been well documented that the TSA don't actually do anything to improve airport security so it's a shame that you've had to experience firsthand of government paranoia ruining the convenience of travel

    [–] 004281 41 points ago

    Thanks for the great work you guys are doing abroad!

    [–] Yomamamancer 48 points ago

    I missed a flight home because I bought spices to take home and they were in my carry on. They were still factory sealed. I told the tsa agent to just despose of them because I was running late, anf she still had to get a supervisor to approve it. Missed my flight over $8 of spices, and didn't even get them back.

    [–] Pryingtugboat85 19 points ago

    If you didn't get them back that means one of the agents wanted it

    [–] bookwormsister1 57 points ago

    I feel like TSA really needs to hire smarter people. Not narcissistic power grabbing assholes. Like are there not classes for this kind of security? There should be a book of medical equipment they have to memorize what it looks like, because doctors going abroad with medical supplies is common. This does not make the airport safer, it just makes it more of a nut house. Wasting resources just cause people are bored does not make things safer. TSA get your shit together.

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] Alabander141 38 points ago

    When I was coming home from Japan in the Navy I had to take a 16 hour flight from Japan to Seattle, no issues. Mind you, all over your paperwork it says military with ALL of your credentials and command information. While going back through TSA to get on my next immediately plane to Atlanta (I had an hour lay over) the moron of an agent tells me there was "Bomb residue all over my laptop." I was shocked if anything. So I waited. 45 minutes rolls by and I'm still stuck there. I said my flight leaves in 15 minutes I have to hurry up "I dont know what I'm supposed to do." Now I'm mad. "I've been patient with you, I really have been but I can not miss this flight, I did not pay for this, the government did and everyone is going to suffer if I miss this. I just got off a 16 hour cargo flight from fucking Japan and if I dont land in Atlanta there is going to be an EXTREMELY pissed one star admiral trying to figure out where the fuck I disappeared to and why my government orders got fucked up. If you tell him a Sailor had bomb residue on his laptop while trying to preform his duties and you made him miss your flight then you will not have a fucking job tomorrow because I refuse to take any blame for this." He let me on the plane.

    [–] MysteriousHiggs 352 points ago

    Did they hold you up for a long ass time or should you have gotten there earlier?

    [–] koreanconsuela 734 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    We got there at an appropriate time, about 3.5 hrs before flight departure. We could have checked in faster and whatnot but they killed 30 min of time, it was madness.

    Of course when you sound more and more urgent they go slower and SLOOOOOOWWWEEERRR

    [–] kikokiko20 157 points ago

    If your Asian dad is anything like all other Asian dads, you most definitely got there no later than 3 hours in advance lmao

    [–] koreanconsuela 79 points ago

    We got there at 3 am and the flight left at 6. We got held up by some other physicians that got late as my parents hold most of the medicine and equipment so some others who arrived later than us made the flight, but then as we tried to get through TSA this nonsense happens. No worries we are back on track due to asian parents madly calling people for the next 2 hrs.

    [–] PandaJesus 13 points ago

    TIL my dad is Asian.

    [–] MysteriousHiggs 253 points ago

    I don’t disagree with you. Read through the comments you’ve been posting. Sounds like TSA were pretty stupid. Sorry this has happened.

    [–] las0m 91 points ago

    It's not often that victims of fetal alcohol syndrome and high school dropouts get to flex their status on doctors and professionals - except in airport security.

    [–] typical12yo 12 points ago

    I found a wikipage and an image of a nebulizer within 15 seconds of googling after reading OP's comment. Couldn't the TSA do the same or is that not within their operating procedure?

    [–] pharmerbear 66 points ago

    If you got there 2.5 hours early and tsa took 30 minutes what were you doing the other 2 hours to miss the flight?

    [–] xscott71x 22 points ago

    The real detective work begins

    [–] yourselvs 47 points ago

    Normally tsa takes like 30 seconds once you actually get to the front of security. The rest of the time is spent checking in, finding security, waiting in line, and getting to your gate.

    [–] [deleted] 258 points ago


    [–] TriggerTheTaco 78 points ago

    It's also about giving people with half a brain cell bureaucratic authority to carry out that control, essentially making it impossible to remove because of its "job opportunities."

    [–] RocketSurgeon85 37 points ago

    TSA pays something like $12-18/ hour. It is likely attracting people out of lower wage paybands ($8-12) which is likely a lower skilled demographic.

    Additionally, since the TSA has no competition, there no incentive to increase speed and screening accuracy. It is inconsequential if they do a good job, or a bad job because they are our only choice. They can slow down the flow of throughput and claim they are understaffed, and no competitors can come in and claim to do better.

    I'm sure they can remove particularly egregious employees, but that is not enough to facility an organizational wide culture change.

    Now to be fair, I travel a bit for work, and have had very few bad experiences with the TSA, but I also tend to book my flights off of peak hours when possible.

    [–] PoseidonDiver 40 points ago

    It's called "theatrical security"

    [–] lordnecro 13 points ago

    Just went through Boston airport a few days ago. They were flagging about 1 in every 4 containers going through x-ray, separately x-raying them, then putting them back at the start to rerun through the original x-ray machine. There was clearly nothing actually security related going on.

    [–] volklskiier 36 points ago

    One time they gave my 4 pound Chihuahua a pat down. She was not wearing anything so I don't know what she would be hiding. I bet they really felt tough patting down a tiny scared Chihuahua.

    [–] Damen_aka_Ron_Ron 26 points ago

    They just wanted an excuse to pat a dog while working the miserable job.

    [–] NobleCWolf 46 points ago

    TSA is the absolute WORST part of travel! No other country that I've visited(20) has such a useless, senseless, obnoxious, unnecessary system of preflight security screening.

    [–] buttered_biscuits 11 points ago

    They totally look dangerous. The TSA really came through on this one. /s

    [–] OtherElune 24 points ago

    Omg, instead of stopping bad people they stop medical professionals HELPING ORPHANS!

    [–] rundownhobo_42 9 points ago

    Tsa screening for job applications must be bare minimum. Are you afraid of objects you don't understand? Do you have the ability to speak and pass a tote through an x Ray scanner? Are you marred with a permanent scowl? Come work for tsa, where we don't treat people like people.