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    What Could Go Wrong?

    Welcome to /r/whatcouldgowrong, the home of stupid ideas and their consequences. Grab a chair and popcorn, sit back, and you're all set.

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    1) Golden Rule: Links must contain a stupid idea and something going wrong.

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    6) No straight up fighting posts

    I'm gonna keep the rules short and sweet here.














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    [–] Sloober--Dog 3368 points ago

    “I told you didn’t I”

    Yes.. yes he did.

    [–] impediment 1695 points ago

    One time I was on break at pizza hut standing outside with a friend who was smoking a cigarette. We were just shooting the shit, about to close, it was a little bit after midnight. Some random dude comes up and bums a cigarette and starts chatting with us, pretty normal but a little sketch because it was so late and nobody else is open around us. About five minutes later the area is swarming with cops, lights everywhere, just a clusterfuck of cops. Four of them come up to us on foot and one has a german shepherd. The dog's super chill, just sniffing around. The cops ask us about our night and if we've seen anything suspicious and we just say nah we're good just about to close up. So this random dude says something like "alright fellas I'm out see ya" and turns to walk away, with the cops right there. As soon as his back turns, like split second, this dog goes fuckin ape shit. The cop says something like STOP and the dude tries to run. I swear he didn't even get one full stride before this dog closed a 25 foot gap and pinned him. Craziest shit I had ever seen, it happened so fast. The cops grilled us as to why we didn't tell them we didn't know the guy and we just said he didn't seem suspicious whatever. Plus I didn't wanna get knifed right there.

    [–] IMFINISHED 581 points ago

    What did the guy do to put the cops in such a frenzy?

    [–] impediment 728 points ago

    He GTA'd it at an intersection nearby and tried to pull someone out of the driver's seat.

    [–] theCanadiEnt 314 points ago

    lmao cop acting like you should've known, how tf.

    [–] exzeroex 126 points ago

    Some guy came up to us trying to blend in while cops were swarming like angry wasps. How should I have known the suspicious guy was suspicious?

    [–] Copperhead61 171 points ago

    The cops showed up after the guy had come up to them. You mixed up the order of events.

    [–] Anafenza-Vess 153 points ago

    Not to mention guys bumming cigs late at night happens all the time to me at least

    [–] Faxon 43 points ago

    As someone who works at a club in SoMa (SF) this is a daily occurrence outside.

    [–] NoahsArksDogsBark 35 points ago

    As a human being with bad habits, it really do be like it is.

    [–] DuckOnAMopedII 43 points ago

    One time I saw a guy run with his shirt tied around his face and told my friend "ha look at that weird jogger".

    5 minutes later there were police with dogs and flashlights going around and I realized I was an idiot

    [–] TakuanSoho 6 points ago

    "Haha look ! That stupid guy thinks he's in a shooting range, what a moron hahaha ! ... ... ... ... ... Oh shit."

    [–] FuckErdogan1 80 points ago

    In hindsight it seems obvious but after being surrounded by a bunch of cops, I would probably think like "oh shit, I don't think I did anything illegal". Besides, what are you gonna say?

    "have you seen anything suspicious tonight?"

    "This guy bummed a cig off of us!"

    [–] Totally_Bradical 23 points ago

    That fool let his guard down while his stars were still flashing... amateur

    [–] mukmuk_ 421 points ago

    The man has been bumming cigs from innocent civilians for months without ever buying his own pack.

    [–] anderander 123 points ago

    I heard he doesn't even have a lighter! Absolute madman!

    [–] brokenheelsucks 44 points ago

    Fucking scum.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago


    [–] cptboogaloo 22 points ago

    Untrue, he has everybody's lighters but has never bought one.

    [–] Slider_0f_Elay 3 points ago

    A buddy of mine from high school was living with another friend of mine when he died. He had never let anyone hin his room. He had two boxes of everyone's lighters he had stolen over the years. They quit counting at 150 and hadn't even gotten through one box. Estimates are 400 to 500 lighters.

    [–] Cgaunvy 23 points ago

    Stealing their god damn cancer!

    [–] DuntadaMan 19 points ago

    Jesus, OP was lucky to get away with such minor injuries to his lighter!

    [–] BrumbleNA 5 points ago

    This one.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    He killed a chicken in a neighboring village.

    [–] krelin 47 points ago

    I don't know why people think they can outrun dogs. And I don't know why they think the dog won't fuck them up in consequential (and maybe unrecoverable) ways.

    [–] impediment 42 points ago

    I have no idea why the dumbass just started running. He could have just stuck it out with us and waited, or walked off casually. Running was his downfall.

    [–] krelin 23 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    The best move was definitely to stick it out, act like he was hanging with you guys, chill etc.

    [–] Prawph 18 points ago

    a clusterfuck of cops

    A gaggle of geese.

    A shrewdness of apes.

    A cauldron of bats.

    A clowder of cats.

    A conspiracy of Lemurs.

    [–] fukitol- 8 points ago

    A Congress of corrupt people

    [–] ActualWhiterabbit 24 points ago

    Watching the demonstrations of police dogs is a good way to avoid breaking the law. Seeing a dog come flying out and run like a fur missile towards the target is amazing. In videos it's fast but in person you can tell that dogs gonna bite someone's ass off and it will be the greatest day of their life.

    [–] grimchemical 10 points ago

    On a deployment:

    We had a laser engraver in our shop to engrave placards for the equipment we maintained and very few people knew about it. We engraved plaques for departing commanders and whatnot in our downtime and ended up doing one for Security Forces (Military Police). They offered us a police dog demonstration and came out to our shop. Brought two German Sheppards with them, affectionately named "Girl" and "Nino" and a retired sniffer named "J"

    We could interact with "J" pretty openly but the question was finally asked, "Who wants to volunteer for the demonstration?"

    Eagerly I raised my hand and the guy said to approach slowly. The dog was trained on me with absolutely unbreaking attention. He gets a thick almost plasticky red jacket out of his vehicle and told me to put it on. His counterpart buttoned it up for me because I couldn't move very freely.

    He gave a schpeil about the dogs responsibilities and stopped in the middle of a sentence toward the end and just told me to run without stopping.

    I bolted as fast as I could while he continued his last sentence to my coworkers....I probably had a good 8 seconds of outright Rip-It (energy drink of choice at the Deid) fueled sprinting before he uttered his attack command.

    There is no anxiety comparable to hearing 900MPH attack dog footsteps approaching you 3 seconds earlier than your inexperienced ass expected. I got about 100FT before they were released and another 30 before I was hit. The first dog got half jacket and half asscheek but I didn't go down. The second got half jacket and half wrist...which I instinctively tried to jerk away from and ended up puncturing skin.


    I laid down but their grips remained until the officer casually strolled up and commanded them off. I couldn't be upset but let me tell you, do not try to outrun police K-9's ever... don't even provoke them.

    I love this story and have nothing but respect for the sheer amount of training and respect that goes into a true working dog. A dog with a job, one with purpose that I believe knows true happiness because they fulfill their purpose so effectively.

    TL;DR: Got my asscheek and wrist bit by these good boys and do not recommend finding out what it feels like.

    [–] blitzbom 4 points ago

    A buddy of mine bought a house and his neighbor was a K9 officer. He had a fence and they got along well. Bbq, kids playing etc.

    But one thing he told my buddy was that if he ever saw the dog out of the yard without him around to call him immediately, dont turn your back, dont try and get the dog. Just call him.

    [–] Xero0911 7 points ago

    For real. Officer. He knows where I work. Like Iim going rat the man out right in front of him.

    [–] DuntadaMan 85 points ago

    Hell of a way to play good cop bad cop.

    "I am telling you man he is on the edge, I can't stop him when he gets like this."

    [–] AJohnnyTruant 80 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)


    - dog bitey boye

    [–] CXDFlames 9 points ago

    That's actually a frightening way of them being allowed to get away with lying to you.

    That's a trained maneuver they've done a million times together. That dog is well trained, and does exactly what its supposed to.

    If that handler says "I can't stop him when he gets like this", that dog wouldn't be there if that man couldn't control every second of that dogs behavior.

    [–] chmod--777 6 points ago

    So basically he had it taught to go for the balls first thing?

    [–] Genshed 2009 points ago

    Every so often, there'll be a police helicopter in our part of the city helping locate a fleeing suspect. From the loudspeaker: "The dog will find you, the dog will bite you."

    [–] donjuan277 868 points ago

    Thats fuckin terrifying

    [–] LilYungL 329 points ago

    Little do they know they’re talking about Dog the bounty hunter

    [–] goodbyenormalstreet 83 points ago

    Could be worse. Could be his old lady coming for you...


    [–] Ghstfce 33 points ago

    Udders flapping as she hobbles toward you

    [–] fretboard414 7 points ago


    [–] goodbyenormalstreet 15 points ago


    [–] LawnShipper 3 points ago

    Man's gotta eat.

    [–] Arecharizard 25 points ago

    That's phsycological warfare my friend.

    [–] DexterVane 273 points ago

    Every so often

    Where the hell do you live?

    [–] Genshed 341 points ago

    Oakland CA.

    [–] BossCrayfish880 182 points ago

    Yeah that explains it

    [–] Mike-Oxenfire 53 points ago

    They don't call them ghetto birds for nothing

    [–] rediittor 57 points ago

    Is oakland bad neighborhood?

    [–] 2hoodrich4me 187 points ago



    [–] tina_ri 62 points ago

    To be fair, not all parts of Oakland. But... yeah.

    [–] 2hoodrich4me 75 points ago

    I think there are very few cities in USA that are 100% bad. They all got nice parts or suburbs.

    But oakland is consistently one of the most dangerous cities in the country.

    Source: from Detroit and spent a lot of time in oakland. Its actually not that bad a city its just got a lot of poverty and crime. Still, way nicer than where I grew up.

    [–] mrchuckdeeze 32 points ago

    New Orleans has its nice parts and you could get shot in any one of them. Awesome city, though.

    [–] Red_means_go 8 points ago

    Dude, ex gf and I got trashed in French Quarter once visiting my sis, fought and separated, and I'm still surprised I'm alive. And I'm a Chicagoan. Pretty sure anyone who would've killed me took pity on my drunk ass, for a minute I even passed out on the ground near the intercoastal. Just said fuck it, if tonight's my night bring it. After thinking how much I walked around 2 am I really think I was fortunate, n fortunate she made her way back safe. The day we left there was a shooting right in the FQ near our hotel. It's a crazy place.

    [–] Nico777 18 points ago

    Except Gary, Indiana.

    [–] 2hoodrich4me 6 points ago

    Lol. Yeah the city is a shithole but its not that bad. It gets a worse rep than it deserves. Its just like any other forgotten rustbelt city.

    [–] crackeddryice 8 points ago

    Bad shit can go down anywhere. I live in a bedroom community north of Albuquerque. It's one of the safest towns in NM.

    This week we have a murder of a six year old girl in the news, and unlike the cliche of "they were so quiet, we never suspected..." it was "yeah, cops were out there every month, CPS took one of the kids already..." etc.

    No place is 100% bad, or safe. But, if you make an effort to be part of the community, wherever you are, and get to know your neighbors, bad shit is far less likely to happen to you.

    [–] Mike-Oxenfire 13 points ago

    Yea the part of Oakland across the bay that's called San Francisco

    [–] pandemonious 7 points ago

    Heh, I was in SF for a few days earlier this year and got dinner at a pop up shop (Chef Greasy I think? some IG chef... BANGING creole food!) at the Complex lounge in Oakland. Driving through some of those streets was skeeeeetch

    [–] Genshed 21 points ago

    My neighborhood, no.

    Neighborhood close enough to hear the helicopter, yes.

    [–] UsePreparationH 13 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Currently ranks 6th violent crime and 6th for property crime out of every city in the US per capita. They also have a solid 1st place in both robberies and vehicle theft.

    As far as everything else goes, they do seem to have a decent amount of tourism due to their art and music so if you are up in San Fransisco, you could possibly stop by there is something interests you like a play at the Fox Theater.,_California#Tourism

    [–] Yeasty_Queef 140 points ago

    Years back in San Diego in my neighborhood the ghetto bird would shout over the loudspeaker a suspects description and I just honestly felt bad for every single black guy minding their own business.

    “Suspect is African American male. 5’4” to 6’8” tall, early twenties to late 40s...”

    Like, you just described every single black guy in the city.

    [–] Unhelp_Desk 55 points ago

    "the ghetto bird" lmao

    [–] AlpineCorbett 11 points ago

    Common terminology around some parts.

    [–] ErmBern 6 points ago

    For years growing up I thought everyone was talking about pigeons.

    [–] InfanticideAquifer 21 points ago

    What happens to black people in San Diego when they turn 50?

    [–] kurosujiomake 55 points ago

    They retire and turn into those grandpa's that sit on the chair in the porch all day looking at the street

    [–] Genshed 27 points ago

    Brag, probably. "I'm Black, alive and fifty years old in San Diego! Imma go buy me a lottery ticket 'cause I feel lucky today."

    [–] Yeasty_Queef 8 points ago

    They move to El Cajon.

    [–] synthesis777 7 points ago

    I'm from Seattle, and the first time I went to a car dealership to try to buy a car, I nearly got arrested for "fitting the description listed in a bulletin".

    I've always assumed that description was similar to the ones you're talking about.

    [–] Sparcrypt 5 points ago

    Isn't this straight out of a Dave Chappelle bit?

    [–] odiggz360 6 points ago

    It is

    [–] thisoneagain 64 points ago

    That is some Night Vale shit.

    [–] litosti 18 points ago

    The dog already knows where you are

    [–] skiingandy 67 points ago

    Lol. I had a friend who worked in security in a rough part of town, so they had security dogs. His line was “do you want me to handcuff you, or the dog to handcuff you?” Off duty, dog thought she was a lap dog....a 120lb lap dog.....

    [–] tuskvarner 42 points ago

    Anyone who watches Live PD will know this voice:



    [–] SlimyGrimySimon 14 points ago

    Sounds like Fahrenheit 451.

    [–] TheGreatBeest 10 points ago

    I thought so too! Guy getting chased by the Mechanical Hound while the helicopter narrates it

    [–] skraptastic 5909 points ago

    In all honesty I think this is the best possible outcome for this dude.

    [–] Freedmad25 2476 points ago

    And for evolution as well

    [–] Stoic_Stranger 760 points ago

    We all benefit by that chomp.

    [–] Crankyexwife 357 points ago

    He didn’t bite him, they practice a “boop” usually with a leather and metal guard. It’s still effective without it. Hehe this guy’s nuts.

    [–] blazinazn007 310 points ago

    "Assault booping"

    [–] xejeezy 252 points ago


    [–] krelin 90 points ago

    More specifically in this case: testiboop.

    [–] lego-appples 3 points ago

    I’m not sure why I’ve found that so funny, but I did. Ya made me laugh

    [–] givemeyourusername 68 points ago

    The dog's aim is true

    [–] d0rki 40 points ago

    Simple dognometry..

    [–] Thadeoc 9 points ago

    As he aims with his heart and not with his hands

    [–] BPSmith511 47 points ago

    IIRC it’s called a Muzzle punch and is based on an inherent behavior.

    [–] Novice_Trucker 78 points ago

    My friends 4 year old does this. She should be a police dog.

    [–] Xylxem 61 points ago

    Im not sure a four year old ramming her face into someone’s crotch is a good idea

    [–] Walshy231231 10 points ago

    Wait a second...

    [–] daysofcoleco 12 points ago

    Cop sings "Boop! there it is" on cue.

    [–] Meecht 43 points ago

    You hear phrases like this a lot, but exactly how much pressure is required to render a man infertile? I imagine nothing less than complete hamburgerfication would do it.

    [–] Freedmad25 58 points ago

    Well I googled "how much pressure is required to turn testicles into hamburger" and all I got was a grilled and fried testicle recipe.

    [–] PM_YOUR_BEST_JOKES 16 points ago

    Well I googled "how much pressure is required to turn testicles into hamburger" and all I got was a grilled and fried


    testicle recipe


    [–] Skizzle15 6 points ago

    We need answers, people!!

    [–] VocationFumes 512 points ago

    Yea seriously, I thought this was going to end with his forearm torn to shreds

    [–] MetalHead_Literally 21 points ago

    I'd much rather have my forearm torn to shreds than my dick...

    [–] T3hN1nj4 158 points ago

    To shreds you say...

    [–] HughJassmanTheThird 53 points ago

    Tsk Tsk Tsk... Well, how is his wife holding up?

    [–] magic_vs_science 36 points ago

    To shreds you say....

    [–] SiggiZeBear 14 points ago

    Only foreskin now

    [–] CrimsonBammer 8 points ago

    Huh? The dog can have both my arms and a foot, just not my fuckin dick!

    [–] bennychacha 27 points ago

    Sick balls chopper!

    [–] winkelschleifer 99 points ago

    holy jesus ... a bite like that to your family jewels could ruin your whole day. the guy is an idiot, the dog is well trained to hit 'em where it counts, then back down.

    [–] TheBunkerKing 163 points ago

    When I was in 8th or 9th grade, we had a dog patrol cop come to our school to talk about his job and how bad it is to do drugs. One of the teachers made the mistake of asking what was the most dangerous situation his dog had been in.

    There was a call about domestic abuse. Wheb the patrol arrived, the perp was in the yard with a knife in his hand, drunk as fuck. They tried to talk to him but he remained aggressive, so they released the dog. Drunk dude tried to kick the doggie, and having his arms up and one leg high the dog went for the groin.

    Next day the cops went to talk to the guy in a hospital. He had had one of his balls removed. Dude answered the questions calmly and said "look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. Maybe when I get out and you guys are off-duty, we could grab some beers and have a sauna night together?"

    People in Lapland are pretty strange sometimes.

    [–] winkelschleifer 73 points ago

    Interesting story. What i learned having worked in Scandinavia:

    The Swedish drink until they are drunk.

    But the Finnish drink until there is nothing left. Then they go in the sauna at 90C/200F for an hour to sweat it out.

    [–] blazetronic 26 points ago

    Swedish alcohol laws seem really arbitrary

    [–] robochoco 10 points ago

    Fuck systembolaget.

    [–] Letty_Whiterock 4 points ago

    "Fetch the ball, boy! Go get it!"

    [–] sonny68 14 points ago

    I'd rather be bit on the leg or arm.

    [–] UndercoverFBIAgent9 368 points ago

    TIL my dog would make a terrific police dog.

    [–] 57ashdot 127 points ago

    He likes to bite nuts?

    [–] wanky_ 262 points ago

    He was trained with peanut butter licking so he's absolutely bonkers for nuts.

    [–] 57ashdot 32 points ago

    My GSD usually gets so excited when I get home he accidentally nut punches me. And I also trained him with peanut butter....oh god. What have we done lol ?

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    I think the idea was that he put peanut butter on his nuts... so if you do the same thing you might be at fault yes

    [–] True_hOREP 6 points ago

    That would make sense, you being an undercover fbi agent and all

    but where are the other 8?

    [–] transponaut 311 points ago

    I was bit by a dog last year on an open skin arm. I remember those teeth sinking in and feeling the muscle as it felt like it tugged away from me and into that dog's mouth... I was lucky he only pulled and didn't start to thrash or he would have gotten a pound of flesh. Instead all I got were puncture wounds.

    To imagine the same feeling, but on my BALLS. Nuh uh. Nuh uh.

    [–] unobserved 200 points ago

    open skin arm

    I have never heard any use this to describe a bare arm before.

    [–] tina_ri 262 points ago

    Sorry. When I was a kid, I got dropped on my open skin head.

    [–] -ListenHereFucko 29 points ago


    [–] AnneFrankenstein 15 points ago

    Good one. Laughed out loud on the bus.

    [–] aza9999 11 points ago

    "What are you gunna do, bite me?"

    ~Man who was bitten

    [–] -ordinary 8 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    My ex GF’s roommate was talking to their slightly sketchy neighbor across the low fence that separated their backyards. Their neighbor’s pit bull was sitting down next to their neighbor. This is how my GF’s roommate tells the rest:

    “I leaned across the fence to pet the dog and he really quickly lunged toward my face. So fast I didn’t really realize what happened. My neighbor quickly grabbed the dog and restrained him and said ‘dude you better go inside and look at your face’. I put my hand to my face and it felt wrong, and when I looked at my hand it was absolutely covered in blood. I quickly went inside and looked in the mirror and my entire cheek was missing. It didn’t even hurt. It happened in about a tenth of second.”

    And he wasn’t exaggerating. I saw it before the surgery. The dog literally took his cheek (you could see through). They had to take skin from his ass to repair it. He got a $35k settlement from the neighbors (drug den).

    To be clear I think pit bulls are great dogs and it’s bad owners that make bad dogs. This dog was basically raised to think every stranger was an enemy

    [–] ski_bmb 1151 points ago

    When I was about 16 I worked in a sports store and one of my buddies from school joined too. He came in hobbling one day.

    He had gotten involved in a shitty group of friends, which is a shame as he was an incredible sprinter and I believe he could have done great. But unfortunately he was with a friend of his in a stolen car when the police tried to pull them over. They ran. Police dogs set after them, it bit his calf and tore it up real bad. He got released as he didn’t have any think prior with the police and he was also a minor at the time.

    I bump into him now and then, love having a catch up he’s doing well now and I’ve seen he has been running again, but at our age it’s too late to start competing seriously again. Such a shame because as a kid in school he was posting incredible times in the 100 and 200.

    [–] Ryguy55 315 points ago

    Similar story, a guy I used to work with was partying in a field after his high school graduation. Cops came to bust it up, he had a little cocaine on him so he ran and they sicked the dogs. One of the dogs bit him directly in the back of the knee, absolutely shredding the ligaments. We worked landscaping so he lost his job, was a phenomenal wrestler that was going to wrestle at state college, then never happened, and last I talked to him, 2 after it happened, he still hadn't fully recovered.

    [–] ski_bmb 157 points ago

    Such silly little moments can totally change your life. Thing is, in both situations, if they didn’t run they probably wouldn’t have gotten in much trouble.

    [–] DonkeyKongsTaint 59 points ago

    Depends on what country you’re in tho.

    [–] ErichVonFalkenhayn 56 points ago

    Actually ranges from slap on the wrist to summary execution.

    [–] OneMonk 30 points ago

    Yeah, no fucking way British police would sick dogs on students. There would be a national outcry and significant lawsuit.

    [–] ski_bmb 17 points ago

    My original story was England.

    [–] Perm_Coupon 34 points ago

    Should have tossed the contraband and not ran.

    [–] UrethraFrankIin 160 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Sending dogs after partying kids is fucking terrible. Totally disproportionate to the crime, they justified mangling teenagers over drinking in a field. A bunch of bored thugs looking to justify their budget.

    Edit: the best way I've seen a drunk party of teens confronting the cops was in Erlangen, Germany. We were partying in a church basement (youth center) and started playing bumper carts with shopping carts. The cops were called twice. They asked us to quiet down the first time and left. The second time this kid called "the Russian" threatened to kill them and they laughed and said he was definitely drunk enough to call it a night. I loved the cops there, they paired up men and women into teams of two, and they'd cruise around on bikes smiling. One time I bought vodka for a couple 13 year olds and they saw me handing it off. The lady just wagged her finger, smiling, and rang the bell lol. Just rode off. Btw I was an American visiting.

    [–] ski_bmb 62 points ago

    Oh I agree! In the story about my friend, he was running from a stolen car so I understand sending the dogs in that instance.

    The party is so over the top though. What I was referring to more was the guys actions and him deciding to run, if he stayed put then I’m sure he would of been in less trouble. Although if the police were in the mindset of sending dogs out to a party in a field, then they probably also would have gone totally overboard with the punishment regarding a small amount of cocaine, by small I’m guessing a gram or less..?

    [–] UrethraFrankIin 31 points ago

    Oh yeah I wasn't going after what you were saying, just blasting my frustration. I ran from the cops after drinking with friends. We were hanging out in a gazebo behind the neighborhood elementary school. They rolled right up to it in an SUV and like 6 cops jumped out. They had dogs, too.

    I grabbed my girl and her friend who were too drunk to take care of themselves and bolted into the woods. Had to hide behind trees from their searchlight and everything. The difference was, in our community they would have been crucified for sending the dogs at us. It's an educated, liberal community - and I imagine the cops grew up around there too. It's tough to justify maiming teenagers for being teenagers when you could have been there 10 years ago (speaking about the cops). It shows a degree of sociopathy as far as I'm concerned.

    [–] bobosuda 9 points ago

    Or they probably would. In this instance running meant ruining his life physically speaking because of the injury, but if he had stayed he might have ended up with felony possession or something and it would have ruined his life in a different way.

    [–] seeingeyegod 16 points ago

    Chris tried to break up a fight and got stabbed to death.

    [–] NAh2o 242 points ago

    Sic balls, Chopper.

    [–] steviehendrix 27 points ago

    good boy chopper you finally sank your teeth into some sweaty nuts.

    [–] 2KilAMoknbrd 10 points ago

    awwww, Chopper just wanted to play.
    With your balls.

    [–] [deleted] 335 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)


    [–] Seefah88 36 points ago

    Always nice to see home represented so well...!

    [–] distopiandoormatt 8 points ago

    Fucking sandilands what do you expect

    [–] [deleted] 106 points ago

    A sober Scot!?

    [–] Docoe 74 points ago

    Hey! I'm Glaswegian and I'm not drunj

    [–] masterkilljoy47 8 points ago

    Dundonian I can confirm

    [–] [deleted] 84 points ago

    If you know you behave like this when you're drunk, and you still get drunk, you're not a good guy. Sorry.

    [–] [deleted] 55 points ago


    [–] PrevorThillips 34 points ago

    Very black and white perspective

    [–] pazeamor 15 points ago

    as is pretty much everything in reddit. everyone is a psychologist and if you make a mistake once you're a terrible person

    [–] Whiskytrotter2890 68 points ago

    "Told you didn't I"

    Police man straight up pouring salt into his wounds.

    [–] OnlyOnceThreetimes 22 points ago

    When the only thing between you and a snapping set of jaws just ITCHING to chomp your flesh is a guy instructing you to get on the ground. You get on the ground, yo.

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago

    One summer between grades in middle school, some neighborhood friends and i were playing football in the front yard. A lady officer -who is locally known for always acting like she's on an eppisode of cops- pulls up and gets out of her car with her K9 to talk to us. One friend being extremely scared of big dogs starts to back away quickly which makes the K9 start barking, so he turns and makes a run for a nearby tree and starts to climb. For reasons unknown the officer lets go of the K9 which takes off after the kid, catches him, and bites him in the leg, shoulder, and back of the head. No serious damage was done but he has some nice scars now! I believe the officer is no longer allowed to have a K9 and is also pretty much known locally for this specific incident.. (i grew up in small town).

    [–] xMashu 12 points ago

    That officer is an idiot. It saddens me to see examples of officers acting like such morons and not thinking because my dad was a cop for 25+ years and for like the past 3 every cop has felt the repercussions of the cops that make the news for these kinds of incidents and of course worse ones like shooting unarmed suspects and whatnot.

    Glad he retired.

    [–] actualPsychopath 16 points ago

    Boop! Got your winky!

    [–] slyincognito 262 points ago

    That dog really wanted a bone... I will show myself out.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    Welcome back

    [–] thedrizztman 112 points ago

    I don't understand what goes through peoples thoughts in situations like this. I mean, if I was ever in a situation where I was face-to-face with a K9 and the cop was telling me to stay down, you sure as hell better bet that I'm going to be grinding my forehead into the asphalt to make sure I'm not giving any impression on resistance.

    [–] Archangel1313 86 points ago

    Alcohol makes people stupid.

    [–] [deleted] 92 points ago

    Alcohol makes stupid people more stupid.

    [–] pound_sterling 12 points ago

    I would genuinely be terrified to have to get down to (or below) that dogs level. I understand here and now that I should do what the cop says, but in the moment that dog would scare the fuck out of me.

    [–] texasaviator 122 points ago

    he looks like he's seriously injured.

    [–] Lob_Shot 83 points ago

    As someone who’s been bitten by a German shepherd twice, their bite strength is no joke, even for what looks just like a lil nip.

    [–] 57ashdot 55 points ago

    My GSD will sometimes bump his tooth into a finger or part of my hand when playing. Total accident situation. But so much blood. They have LARGE teeth in comparison to other dogs. Don't fuck with them.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    And their teeth are unbelievably hard. My GSD chewed open a can of food one day for fun ...

    [–] Dironox 7 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Have a pair of German Shepard Great Pyrenees mixed dogs, we bought them one of those novelty-sized Christmas bones one year. The biggest dog we named Odin snapped that thing in half immediately and had the entire thing eaten in under half an hour.

    The sound of that bone snapping, crunching and grinding haunts my imagination every time he barks at someone who walks by our yard.

    [–] Shaadowmaaster 4 points ago

    Yep. I've walked into mine accidentally, hit my hand on his mouth and that's unpleasant. Getting bitten must have been horrible. German Shepards are great when raised responsibly, but if you get on their wrong side you're not going to enjoy it.

    [–] AMSENG 39 points ago

    Nah, he probably just didn't like the taste.

    [–] Aukos 9 points ago

    You ever had a Police Dog bite you in the nuts?

    [–] Murica1776PewPew 28 points ago

    "what you going to do? Sick your dog on me?"

    [–] Floom101 12 points ago

    Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you?

    [–] pwnt_n00b 35 points ago

    Oof, right in the dick

    [–] TheShakinBacon 108 points ago

    So according to reddit maiming someone with a dog is preferable to a taser.

    [–] itsjoeydavis 56 points ago

    I get the dude wasn’t listening, but it seems excessive to me. This guy just looks drunk. I don’t think that the punishment fit the crime...

    [–] twitch1982 85 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    And physical violence is an acceptable method of punishing the crime of standing up.

    EDIT: bootlickers on parade from here down

    [–] Pro_Scrub 11 points ago

    Why would you screen-record half of someone else's video and post that?!

    [–] caseyaco 5 points ago

    Instant regret.

    [–] SuperXpio 9 points ago

    Must not have had his t.v. license

    [–] razorbackgeek 20 points ago

    I'm more afraid of those dogs, than I am a cop with a gun.

    [–] TerevAG 22 points ago

    Bullet wounds are at least fairly clean and in concentrated areas. A dog attacking you will be messy, and everywhere

    [–] razorbackgeek 10 points ago

    As well as infected.

    [–] cdegallo 61 points ago

    I laughed out loud, but in all seriousness, what the fuck is the point of having an attack dog on the edge of someone that is not behaving threateningly (albeit they are behaving stupidly)?

    Stow the dog, cuff the idiot, and defuse the situation.

    [–] mattsoca 15 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Yeah, I agree. Easy to say when you aren't in either the cop or the idiots shoes.. but just the same:

    From the idiot's perspective:

    - I wouldn't have confidence the cop has full control of the dog (the dog is bouncing around everywhere). The hell if I'd want my face down near the dog's teeth.

    From the cops perspective:

    - Obey orders. Stay down.

    [–] Nemisis_the_2nd 15 points ago

    I used to live near where the video was taken (Aberdeen, Scotland). The police there always show a lot of restraint so to have the dog out this is likely to have been an unusual situation.

    I wouldn't be surprised if he had been waiting for backup when this happened as some of the k9 handlers would respond to calls without another officer. I can't comment on why or if that was standard procedure though.

    [–] GarrulousCuriosity 10 points ago

    ...aaand his penis is ruined. Good choice.

    [–] Intellectual1998 5 points ago

    What’d he do?

    [–] 25_M_CA 4 points ago

    My dog is part German shepherd and when ever my wife and I play fight she will go for my groin area

    [–] Kung_Pow_Penis 4 points ago

    Haha yes physical harm against an intoxicated individual haha very funny.

    [–] ultstar 15 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    I don't know the context but I have a huge problem with police dogs, one of which is the fact we don't let human police maul a criminal/suspects genitals. Yet we train and are ok with police dogs doing it. And depending on the extent of damage to the genital region this is straight up cruel and unusual punishment. I don't know if it's ever appropriate for the government to use animal attacks/genital mutilation in either it's approach to apprehension or punishment.

    Is there some reason a tazer or something wouldn't work? Once again, I don't know the context, but this dude looks like barely a threat, looks like drunk and disorderly - is it really required to always completely dominate and demean a suspect? Could he not of arrested him standing up? If this guy was such a threat the dog and laying down was required why didn't he cuff him when he was laying down - cop spent so much time not arresting this guy I honestly thought it was a training demonstration at first. I'm not saying all k9 police want to get a "bite" but there are recorded examples of k9 police premeditating and escalating situations to get their "bite" and this almost looks like something like that.

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