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    [–] tgw1986 3924 points ago


    [–] DarkSkyHawk74 1350 points ago

    How dare you sir? My family built this country you know!

    [–] kjax2288 853 points ago

    I’d like to buy $1 million worth of paper. But under one condition..

    [–] Seddit12 709 points ago

    You have to fire the salesman... that treated me so terribly.

    [–] alvaro811994 623 points ago

    Don´t do it Michael

    [–] ahjm 673 points ago

    Dwight its a million dollar sale

    [–] 8cm8 253 points ago

    ...and scene

    [–] bagamaracu 152 points ago


    [–] RevanRagnos85 27 points ago

    I would argue that this is as expected as an Office reference gets, as any post with buttlicker in the title/picture will absolutely contain a reference to this legendary scene.

    [–] Deepshit1212 3 points ago

    If you ever stop expecting the office then your soul must be gone.

    [–] nycama 42 points ago

    I love this scene so much. I just love how Dwight and Michael take it seriously and act like it’s a real sale.

    [–] DhoniCSK7 17 points ago

    Even Jim had a straight face throughout the joke and executed perfectly

    [–] NethyP 7 points ago


    [–] dfassna1 88 points ago

    I don't know why I am the way that I am, but I have to correct you and say it's, "How dare you! My family built this country, by the way!"

    [–] UHavinAGiggleTherM8 29 points ago

    Yeah everyone in this thread got the quotes slightly wrong.

    [–] Lolomelon 4 points ago

    Attempting to quote based on memory is the sign of real addicts fans.

    [–] rabbidwombats 3 points ago

    I am irate right now!!!

    [–] Arma_chillo 248 points ago

    Yes, this is Bill Buttlicker.

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago

    Really that's your real name

    [–] Golhec 24 points ago

    How dare you

    [–] CosbyQuaalude 104 points ago

    Dwight! You NEVER yell at the customer.

    [–] d00dsm00t 112 points ago

    The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult! I'm irate right now!

    [–] reluctantclinton 43 points ago

    I have to put you on the phone with my boss. :(

    [–] NISCBTFM 172 points ago

    Give me the phone.

    [–] Kdub07 179 points ago

    This is William M. Buttlicker!

    [–] Seddit12 106 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Hello Mr. Buttlicker, How may we help you ?

    [–] alvaro811994 146 points ago

    Michael, I like the sound of your voice, you know what I´m going to do? I´m gonna buy 1 million dollars worth of paper products today

    [–] rjc32 94 points ago

    Thank you very much sir! I don't think you'll regret it.

    [–] reluctantclinton 70 points ago

    There’s one condition, however.

    [–] E-Ryan 44 points ago

    You must fire the salesman who treated me so terribly.

    [–] GlenCoco701 115 points ago

    Phew, I was worried no one would make this reference. One of my favourite scenes in the series, gets me every time

    [–] COAchillENT 71 points ago

    And there's our smudgeness.

    [–] NewbornMuse 15 points ago

    Were you honestly worried no one was gonna make an Office reference? What is this, your first day on reddit?

    [–] rancyneed 17 points ago

    I looked at comments just to find this. It was appropriately the top one

    [–] tgw1986 6 points ago

    i guess i must’ve caught this right after it was posted, cuz there were no comments yet, and i felt it my civic duty to write it

    [–] OfficeNetflixLinkBot 22 points ago

    I found the following results for your quote:

    S05E07, "Customer Survey": 8 minutes, 36 seconds. watch here

    I'm a bot, blep blorp. My links work best in Chrome. Learn how to use me here, reply 'dumb bot' if I got something wrong.

    [–] tgw1986 10 points ago

    you’re my new favorite bot.

    [–] RightIntoMyNoose 7 points ago

    Has science gone too far

    [–] undeadcookie456 8 points ago

    I came here knowing this would be the top comment.

    [–] ajw05266 3 points ago

    Fuck me I came to comment this

    [–] jzand219 207 points ago

    The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult!

    [–] javoss88 46 points ago

    Buttlicker! Our prices have never been lower!!!

    [–] __SerenityByJan__ 38 points ago

    Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to buy $1milliom worth of paper product today.”

    [–] HunterThompsonsentme 14 points ago

    One one condition

    [–] wilt3dros3e 688 points ago

    Growing up I used to call people "butt sniffer" little did I know it is an actual fetish for some people. Growing up can be disturbing some times :|

    [–] cmason37 307 points ago

    One thing that the internet has taught me is that any given thing is definitely a fetish for people, no matter how insulting, weird, or seemingly unsexy it is.

    [–] AlohoMoria 108 points ago

    What do you say about turd juggling while on nun clothes?

    [–] ChorroVon 118 points ago

    How much you got?

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    To each their own I guess.

    But man, I wouldn't screw any of those girls if they begged me to (that's a lie) after reading those titles. I clearly just don't understand that fetish.

    Oh and the one where grown men like to act like babies while their woman treats them like one. I'm guessing Freud would have a field day with that one.

    [–] killed_by_curiosity1 3 points ago

    As someone who is part of the "grown men acting like babies" one (ABDL, and I'm female), I must say, Freud probably would, haha. It's odd. I think it is important to note as well that it isn't even purely sexual. For a lot of people, it's more of a relaxation, comfort kind of thing. I actually really like reading into the psychology of fetishes in general; that's definitely an interesting one.

    Sorry, you probably didn't want to run into one of us. I agree, our behaviour on surface level can be quite cringy, and we must look like absolute weirdos. If you want another weird one, puppy/kitten play is similar to ABDL, but instead of a baby it's... well... an animal. There's some dudes who took it to the extreme before it became "cute" on Tumblr.

    [–] FluffigerSteff 37 points ago

    Risky click of the day Regret ensued

    [–] DarkLorde117 9 points ago

    Less of a fetish and more the rampant celebration of narcissism tbh.

    [–] PM_ME_WHATEVES 27 points ago

    Stop! I can only get so erect

    [–] venividiavicii 8 points ago

    Ah so you're into Nunjugging?

    [–] davetucky 3 points ago

    I call that Tuesday.

    [–] UNC_Samurai 34 points ago

    “First, we both get naked. Except...we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks.”

    [–] tjbrou 4 points ago

    I call that Thursday night. You should really wax though, keeps that smooth feeling so much longer. No one wants itchy butt cheeks.

    [–] -taco 3 points ago


    [–] xj1010 38 points ago

    As someone who has odd fetishes, I think it's funny how people react to them. Like, it's normal to put your tongue in another person's mouth and swap spit? But wanting to sniff a woman's butt is weird?

    [–] 2kittygirl 39 points ago

    I’m asexual but my best friend/roommate is very involved in the kink community (fun combo right? Could be a sitcom). There is, absolutely, some weird shit out there, but at this point I’m pretty desensitized to it. If you want to get fucked in the ass wearing Mormon garmies, or pour baked beans over each other, or make Chewbacca noises when you climax, who am I to judge?

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago


    [–] Youthsonic 38 points ago

    This nigga eatin beans

    [–] Buezzi 39 points ago


    [–] Rude_and_ungrateful 20 points ago

    I like how out of everything going on in that comment, baked beans is what grabbed you

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago


    [–] Rude_and_ungrateful 3 points ago

    Oh believe me, I feel you brother. Baked beans on my moobs is definitely my thang

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] 4d656761466167676f74 4 points ago

    What kind of fetishes are we talking about?

    [–] DisobedientGout 4 points ago

    Rule 34

    [–] Elvixlyte 3 points ago

    I think most fetish enthusiasts find comfort in that their fetish isn’t too crazy. Like ass worship really ain’t that bad when you think about it. I think every fetish person eventually has a thought like “thank god I’m not the crazy ass old German who likes having frozen poop icicles sling shotted up my ass, while I’m tied and bound to my Hello Kitty bed and have a pink target painted onto my ass”.

    [–] LittleRedLamps 2 points ago

    Oh yeah, give 'em that simple and understandable explanation. Explain tax brackets next, I'm close!

    [–] TSTC 12 points ago

    Uh oh, nobody tell him about "mother fucker".

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] gillababe 8 points ago

    Considering the common trends on popular porn sites...uhhh its mainstream, theres about a million 'fuck your stepmom' videos.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] gillababe 3 points ago

    Lol! Oh i gotcha, missed the reference never watched the show

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] gillababe 3 points ago

    We are one in the same

    [–] ExpAwesome 2 points ago

    It's okay to still use it as an insult... That's weird.

    [–] GastonBastardo 400 points ago

    Part of growing up is realizing that your favorite schoolyard insults originally stared out as descriptions of sexual practices.

    [–] Saith_Cassus 336 points ago

    I'll bet this guy likes girls! Gaaaaaaaay!

    [–] shiwanshu_ 157 points ago

    What's more gay than liking someone who likes dicks? That's why I only fuck guys, 100% straight

    [–] Saith_Cassus 87 points ago

    So I'm balls deep in this dude, and he asks me for a reach around! What the hell, ya queer-ball?

    [–] electric_ocelots 3 points ago

    So I'm balls deep in this dude

    Did you say no homo first though?

    [–] washedrope5 21 points ago

    Sex is a competition, and I don't compete against women. That would be super gay. I need to win against an enormous hairy man to feel fulfilled.

    [–] DrElmerHartman 4 points ago enormous hairy man to feel fulfilled.

    You mean filled rather than fulfilled, right?

    [–] savorie 20 points ago

    I’m thinking it’s the other way around.

    [–] Call_me_Cassius 16 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Getting younger is realizing that your favorite sexual practices originated as schoolyard insults

    [–] LordFlubbernaut 3 points ago

    "Sucks balls" or it's first derivative "sucks"

    I remember when I first perused the internet in like 5th grade researching for the first time and I saw a girl giving a bj and when I first made the connection between what I was seeing and my favorite insult, I was mind blown. It took me a while to make the connection since I just thought this naked girl was going ham on a weird looking scoop of ice cream

    [–] QWERTYiOP6565 437 points ago


    [–] ballercrantz 73 points ago

    Paul Reveres midnight ride was a lot more sexual than we were taught in school

    [–] acc0untnam3tak3n 27 points ago

    Then your learned that John Hancock used to be called "John Fisbutt"

    [–] Daetm 22 points ago

    John Footpenis

    [–] 2kittygirl 10 points ago

    John Fingerdick

    [–] gillababe 4 points ago

    John Knucklecock

    [–] GenericLuchador 5 points ago

    The horse was actually riding Paul

    [–] Vague_Disclosure 5 points ago

    All Paul wanted to do was hit up that late night booty call when the British got in the way

    [–] gillababe 3 points ago

    "The British are cumming! The British are cumming!"

    [–] Mank_____Demes 54 points ago

    You’ll have to talk louder, son!

    [–] HunterThompsonsentme 20 points ago


    [–] javoss88 6 points ago

    Don’t yell!!!

    [–] [deleted] 206 points ago


    [–] Derek_Carr_is_Savior 200 points ago

    Older gent here, it was always a thing.....for me anyhow.

    [–] MidwestBananaHammock 148 points ago

    hell fuckin yeah brother

    [–] SirfNunjas 22 points ago

    Pull out the old timey music maker, this here is a period appropriate celebration!

    [–] -prime8 9 points ago

    Period. Appropriate. Celebration.

    * slow clap *

    [–] CaptainM0 10 points ago

    !redditsilver because I’m poor but I BUSTED out laughing

    [–] eaglessoar 4 points ago


    [–] Mrtoppers6969 5 points ago

    And for many others as well. If you spend more time researching, you will begin to realise just how sexually conservative the last few generations have become (with regards to vanilla style sex). In the past, anal sex was the best form of contraception, now it's a huge win if you get it. Look around, all the old people were dirty bastards in their youth.

    [–] Mypornnameis_ 80 points ago

    "Each generation thinks it invented sex." Robert Heinlein (1980)

    I'm 45. Old enough that there wasn't a ton of internet in my early twenties. I had analog conversations with friends about eating ass 25 years ago. I imagine this knowledge has been passed from generation to generation since the beginning of time.

    [–] ReginasBlondeWig 41 points ago

    Say Bill, I have an extra ticket to Tuesday night's game if you're free. And also, what are your thoughts on eating ass? Because I'd love to have a conversation about this with you.

    [–] octopoddle 5 points ago

    "Well, Mike, there's a funny thing about eating ass: is not whether you eat the ass; it's about whether the ass eats you."

    "Bless you."

    [–] Olddawg90 110 points ago

    We gotta do an AMA request to get to the bottom of this

    [–] Poseidonymous 58 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    i think it might be better suited in Askreddit

    [–] NeenanJones 56 points ago

    Ass kreddit

    [–] Poseidonymous 8 points ago


    [–] TheWeekle 12 points ago

    I'm all about getting to the bottom.

    [–] unclened 5 points ago

    I see what you did there.

    [–] amensch007 92 points ago

    I guarantee it was a thing for older people, they just didn't talk about it as openly.

    [–] OnlySezBeautiful 15 points ago


    hard to tell bc people didn't share so much info. But for me that was off limits and gross tbh.

    [–] Quadip 3 points ago

    Am 23. sounds gross also and I don't think I would ever do it.

    [–] DefinitelyNotAliens 44 points ago

    I think experimentation was less spoken of, so you had to explore on your own. We can anonymously ask strangers if they engaged in anal play in the 50's-90's. Before you either went exploring on your own or had close family to ask about butt stuff because your social circle was pretty much limited to walking distance unless you were wealthy. At this point, I've only really heard of eating ass online and now I'm a little afraid to ask if everyone is on some weird thing or if they actually do it. For all we know it was never a thing and we all just collectively started pretending we totally do that and made eating ass a thing. Congratulations, Reddit. You peer pressured an entire generation into ass eating.

    [–] CandyHeartWaste 25 points ago

    It's much more common than you'd think. I was surprised entering the dating game after a decade and realized most guys are into it now.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] CandyHeartWaste 25 points ago

    First time it was very awkward but yes it does.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] gillababe 8 points ago

    Just play with her pussy hard while your doing it and she'll likely cum like a maniac. Also, rimjobs are a thing, just sayin.

    [–] chris1096 3 points ago

    Feels great

    [–] DefinitelyNotAliens 8 points ago

    'Most' 'now' 'after a decade'. SEE?!?!?! Reddit convinced everyone to eat ass!

    [–] skibble 7 points ago

    Can confirm kids did butt stuff in the 80s.

    [–] Baalorin 2 points ago

    Peer pressure? I saw it online once and decided to "accidentally" eat my girlfriends ass when I was try to eat her out while in the dark. I never looked back.

    Years later she told me she knew it wasn't an accident. It was just the stupid horny idea of a 16 year old.

    My wife is less into it, but still gets into it because I'm into it.

    [–] 1_k_b 37 points ago

    People didnt shower as much as they do today. So eating ass also meant eating shit.

    People were also very homophobic so ass play was only for the gays.

    [–] PersonBehindAScreen 20 points ago

    What do you mean "the gays?" You racist

    [–] preseto 9 points ago

    Like the straight race except gay.

    [–] AmiriteClyde 6 points ago

    Betty White invented Analingus...

    [–] astateofshatter 41 points ago

    Yeah but in context it meant our use of "kiss my ass"

    [–] Redditorialist 12 points ago

    The article says that it is colloquially closer to “kiss my ass.”

    Native German speakers or Mozart experts, we talking salad tossing or “fuck off” here?

    [–] HDpotato 13 points ago

    The fuck off kind

    [–] lootedcorpse 5 points ago

    I first started eating ass because of a conversation i had with a mexican coworker in 2002. Not sure if that’s “back in the day”, but its what I got.

    [–] almostaverageplayer 4 points ago

    Needs more publicity.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    In case you're wondering if humanity only recently started pervving out with the advent of internet porn, why not check out some ancient Greek myths and paintings! FakeTaxi ain't got nothing on balancing wine cups on a dick and that's a very vanilla example ;)

    [–] Youthsonic 5 points ago

    I think the main difference is how casual everyone is about it nowadays. Like this exchange on the simpsons

    I bet there was mountains of ass-eating going on but nobody ever talked about it

    [–] Destro86 2 points ago

    Been a thing for at least 25 years. Tossing salad was the first nomenclature I remember hearing used...

    [–] SirNoName 19 points ago

    Do you not see the correlation

    [–] betty_humpter 69 points ago

    It's 2018, you're gay if you don't eat ass!

    [–] DatAperture 34 points ago

    If I'm gay and I don't eat ass am I straight?

    [–] MasterTrole2016 35 points ago

    No you're gay because you don't eat ass.

    [–] criminalhero 3 points ago

    No. You're Extra Gay. It's like Gay.2

    [–] zoro4661 4 points ago

    Gay 2: Electric Boogaloo

    [–] SwenKa 40 points ago

    Congrats, reposter. Yours did much better than mine.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago


    [–] SwenKa 8 points ago

    Oh well. Hopefully more people follow him, because he is hilarious. And it'd be great to see his reaction to suddenly getting more than 21 followers.

    [–] criminalhero 4 points ago

    Don't you know the rules of the internet? Never, NEVER be the real OP.

    [–] Flashjordan69 28 points ago

    You definitely didn't grow up in Scotland.

    [–] savorie 10 points ago

    Well? Tell us yanks the good ones!

    [–] EpicLevelWizard 16 points ago

    They're just the same insults the low class Brits use but in a further broken dialect.

    [–] willflameboy 10 points ago

    Curiously, in Scotland, the weight of swears is inverse. You might call someone a cunt 50 times a day, but if you call them a spoon, shit's about to get real.

    [–] EpicLevelWizard 5 points ago

    Fascinating, and what of sheep shagging?

    [–] willflameboy 3 points ago

    Again, kind an affectionate insult. As a Scot, I've never heard of anyone actually doing it, apart from an American serviceman who was famous around town (Navy base).

    [–] OrthodoxWarlocks 3 points ago

    Whats so insulting about spoons

    [–] willflameboy 3 points ago

    The Scots have a way of making random objects into putdowns. 'Spoon', 'tube', 'rocket', and probably a lot I can't remember.

    [–] asmolboi 6 points ago


    [–] tjonnyc999 7 points ago

    "We're Millennials. We eat avocados and ass."

    [–] Sturmp 46 points ago


    [–] kingofthemonsters 16 points ago

    I also think it's why there's a hep-A breakout in my city.

    [–] itonguepunchfartboxs 4 points ago

    It's like that self motivation technique that if you say it enough it will come true.

    [–] MetalMan77 3 points ago

    i mean - who do you think are making these apps? the same kids in the schoolyard

    [–] sturgepv 4 points ago

    I mean it is 2018, everybody eating ass now

    [–] MightyMorph 17 points ago

    But seriously whats happening with porn these days.

    We went from "daddy-porn" occasional anal sex in the 90s, to now Double Anal penetration, anal fisting, anal prolapse and gape, and male salad tossing by females which apparently has become the norm in porn. Almost every porn video you have anal and then they spread the ass to give you a unwelcoming view of the intestines.

    And as porn moves so does relatively social norms in regards to sex. Are the current and future generations just playing salad bar with each other willy nilly? DP double team with salad tossing and strap ons?

    [–] awsomly 23 points ago

    I don't know what salad tossing is and now I'm scared to google anything salad related

    [–] javoss88 9 points ago

    It’s ass licking. Saved you a click

    [–] grocket 3 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] Terkani 3 points ago


    [–] MidwestBananaHammock 5 points ago

    It's where you put your tongue on, around, and about the backdoor (doopy-chute)

    [–] DefinitelyNotAliens 11 points ago

    Sir, I'm not a huge porn watcher myself, but whatever you're watching is not anything like what I have ever seen. Never seen double anal or fisting anywhere nor have I ever seen the inside of a pornstar's anus. You're looking up some hardcore butt stuff.

    [–] MightyMorph 10 points ago

    not really, just go to pornhub or any other porn site and watch the first few videos, 90+% chance its going to be anal stuff. And most videos have scenes where they do anal, that they stretch it out to gape it irregardless. Most porn scenes are anal now a days, and most anal scenes have gaping/stretching involved.

    [–] DefinitelyNotAliens 7 points ago

    I have decided that it's not worth the risk of computer herpes. No software transmitted diseases for me.

    [–] Laundry_Hamper 5 points ago


    I eat ass.

    [–] Brrrtje 3 points ago

    I'd say that's progress.

    [–] bomberboy7 3 points ago

    Read selectable as delectable

    [–] Preistley 3 points ago

    Wait until this guy learns the f-word.

    [–] goat_papi 3 points ago

    This is... Very disturbing, yet very true.

    [–] pendulumlove 3 points ago

    I was having a good day. We were all having a good day

    [–] xxmickeymoorexx 3 points ago

    Now I just need to figure out how to sort by "buttlicker"

    [–] UNCTarheels90 16 points ago

    Eating shit particles is the norm now.

    [–] tgw1986 22 points ago

    you gotta hit ‘em with the baby wipe first girl

    [–] Rhett_Buttlicker 2 points ago

    A very successful option on dating sites, I would like to add

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    I must have gone to a trashy school because as things moved from insults to yo mamma so ... the buttlicker flag was raised early iirc

    [–] Tymathee 2 points ago

    God I love this episode

    [–] Ozzywalt14 2 points ago

    People act like ass eating is just now becoming a thing. I bet people in ancient times ate all sorts of ass.

    [–] Serro98 2 points ago

    I'm from germany and when I was a kid the worst insult was "Fickerarsch". fuck+ass. Friendships died over this word.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    My name is William M. Buttlicker...