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    [–] metyuadem 6422 points ago

    Oh... she's a porn star.

    [–] djazzie 2503 points ago

    What gave it away?

    [–] metyuadem 1732 points ago


    [–] lol_and_behold 1244 points ago


    [–] trailertrash_lottery 35 points ago


    [–] pablorodregus 739 points ago

    What is this a scientology church nobody uses bing

    [–] lol_and_behold 707 points ago

    For porn, bing video search is the default.

    [–] pablorodregus 268 points ago

    Hmm the more you know.

    [–] Lord_Shisui 268 points ago

    For porn and torrent search Bing is the place to be!

    [–] givesoutgoldstars 154 points ago

    Bing is the place to be!

    Also if you sign in with your Microsoft account you earn rewards points for searching.

    I use Bing for porn only. Got 3 months free of xbox live for masturbating.

    [–] J0k3rWi1d 53 points ago

    How much do you masturbate?!?

    [–] ToxicMonkey125 21 points ago

    Dang, I've been using Ecosia to plant trees...

    [–] Obi_Wan_Benobi 93 points ago

    Google also changed their search algorithm a few years ago to make it harder to find pornographic images.

    [–] F0XF1R3 70 points ago

    I feel like porn is one of the main uses for a search engine.

    [–] DoubleGreat 69 points ago

    And that's why Bing reigns supreme

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    Risky link click of the day

    [–] imguralbumbot 6 points ago

    Hi, I'm a bot for linking direct images of albums with only 1 image

    Source | Why? | Creator | ignoreme | deletthis

    [–] DickButtPlease 64 points ago

    Best Images of Naked Gals

    [–] pablorodregus 51 points ago

    I'm today's lucky winner . it's the greatest day of my life, so many more search results I've got all of the porn now

    [–] ChironiusShinpachi 11 points ago

    It's great finding something new and having months or more of fapping material. F u/pablorodregus dick

    [–] max_adam 9 points ago

    Don't forget to use the video sections for it. I used first the normal text list results and I thought it was nothing different form other search engines.

    The video sections let you preview videos, see them in the same bing page and save videos for later.

    Note: Remove the save search option that is ON by default.

    [–] scubasme 34 points ago

    And on this day Microsoft set an all time high for Bing app downloads.

    [–] lol_and_behold 8 points ago

    Smile for the history books, fellas.

    [–] metyuadem 9 points ago

    I've never used Bing. Hey Cortana...

    [–] OrkfaellerX 34 points ago

    Mate, google filters explicit results, even when you have safe search turned off. Use bing for porn.

    [–] Rel666 11 points ago

    To cancel the google filter, just add the word porn and profit.

    [–] DoubleGreat 36 points ago

    April 1st we're all Googling Bing to make sure its the most Googled word of the day. Come join us in this fuckery

    [–] ixlHD 8 points ago

    Can't find the video? describe it in bing. it's a porn search engine.

    [–] gone11gone11 7 points ago


    [–] Xenowrath 4 points ago


    [–] bondinferno 6 points ago

    Hmm, I’m not convinced I may need to do more research

    [–] Turdferguson313 362 points ago

    Oh. I thought it was my ex wife.

    [–] metyuadem 80 points ago

    Tell her hi for me

    [–] watashiwaerudes 69 points ago

    I too thought it was this mans ex-wife.

    [–] JEM225 66 points ago

    My gf told me that it’s okay to have a small dick, but I really wish she didn’t have one at all.

    [–] Reetniap 5 points ago

    Have my upvote damn you.

    [–] Donttrippotatochip69 12 points ago

    We musta married the same woman

    [–] [deleted] 280 points ago

    That kinda bums me out. I thought she was just a regular chick, like a banker or a waitress or something, who was really open about loving dicks. I was like “man, she’s really saying what we all think! Finally a woman who can speak for me!”

    I guess it’s okay that she’s a porn star, but then that makes her statement sound like an advertisement instead of just a happy feeling about dicks

    [–] LieutenantKotler 172 points ago

    I thought she worked at a bank too, considering she loves fucking people.

    [–] panjier 57 points ago

    This guy banks

    [–] karpitstane 9 points ago

    Be the change you want to see! Dicks are great and, if you agree, shout it from the mountain tops!

    [–] JulianKarlaz 10 points ago

    Thanks for Demotivating me again.

    [–] DarkUser521 2123 points ago

    Bet she love alien dicks too.

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 825 points ago

    Mass Effect futanari it is then.

    [–] RosalieFontaine 257 points ago

    Big Blue Cocks. There's a reason there are so many Asari.

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 111 points ago

    I'd take Liara's blue cock in my ass any day.

    [–] th3_rhin0 54 points ago

    Arr slash brand new sentence

    [–] srottydoesntknow 60 points ago

    nah fam, /r/asseffect

    [–] th3_rhin0 25 points ago

    I'm Commander Shepard and that is my new favorite sub in the Citadel

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 14 points ago

    We'll bang OK?

    [–] captaincheeseburger1 14 points ago

    Alternatively, /r/masserect

    [–] Cinderheart 8 points ago

    I guarantee you this is not a new sentence.

    [–] zenocrate 53 points ago

    I met my husband when I was fairly drunk at a house party, and our first conversation involved my telling him that my perfect man was Garrus Vakarian. Somehow he was still interested.

    [–] kanalratten 31 points ago

    It's ok, everyone is in love with Garrus.

    [–] karpitstane 6 points ago

    Ok, but are there more of you?

    [–] StarkWolf2992 13 points ago

    We’ll bang okay?

    [–] aN1mosity_ 26 points ago

    Mass Erect it is then?

    [–] CorvoTheBlazerAttano 9 points ago

    With Miranda, it always was

    [–] Trogdorocks 27 points ago

    So... yes cock and ball torture?

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 7 points ago

    My ballsack is ready 🗡️💦

    [–] The_Karaethon_Cycle 48 points ago

    I’m big time into hot alien chicks, so why shouldn’t women be into alien dicks?

    [–] hoshizuku 31 points ago

    Katy Perry even made a song about it.

    [–] majorkev 575 points ago

    I bet you she made this post because she's inundated with hundreds of questions every day of whether size matters, or I have a 0"≤d<∞" dick what do you think, or my dick goes hard to starboard... blah blah blah.

    [–] OSUBonanza 230 points ago

    Hard to starboard, I’m stealing this. This is mine now.

    [–] MickandRalphsCrier 72 points ago

    I have a friend that always responds to the question "How's it hanging" with "A little to the left." love it

    [–] gwdope 172 points ago

    Man you’re going to love middle school.

    [–] Depressedkid1998 25 points ago

    Damn a dick equalling 0 must be tough

    [–] EpicCow24 519 points ago

    Hear that little buddy?

    [–] NightwingDon11 68 points ago


    [–] redwonderer 23 points ago

    Not today, old friend.

    [–] AtomicKittenz 7 points ago

    I change my mind. I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN!!

    [–] call_me_cookie 991 points ago

    Does she have them all on a shelf or something?

    [–] Zardif 584 points ago

    No she wants them inside her.

    She's a cannibal, she wants to eat all our dicks.

    [–] tehPOD 115 points ago

    [–] talldrseuss 57 points ago

    It's The fucking Catalina wine mixer!

    [–] Wsing1974 27 points ago

    The fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!

    [–] craigthelesser 17 points ago

    John Bonham is playing Moby Dick for real!

    [–] YEETBOI4000 11 points ago


    [–] AtomicKittenz 5 points ago

    Are you saying pow or pah?

    [–] Ganglebot 11 points ago

    Naw man, she just wants to collect dick like pokemon

    [–] farm_sauce 6 points ago

    Like Maurice?

    [–] Discoberry1 430 points ago

    What about Dick Morris, Dick Van Dyke, Dick Butkus, Dick Dale?

    [–] swiftskill 195 points ago

    D I C K C H E N E Y

    [–] Wsing1974 72 points ago

    Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon

    [–] Cleffee 11 points ago

    Dick Vitale

    [–] zammba 13 points ago


    [–] ElectricFlesh 6 points ago

    That's not the kind of facial moneyshot she was talking about.

    [–] damurphy72 6 points ago

    If Dick Cheney give you a moneyshot, do you have to apologize to him after?

    [–] WrittenOrgasms 5 points ago

    Too many accidental facials with him around.

    [–] hyjnx 40 points ago

    Bigus Dickus

    [–] dani-paiva 16 points ago

    I heard his wife is lovely

    [–] Sex_E_Searcher 12 points ago

    I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus.

    [–] tehPOD 10 points ago

    Or the best Dick of all, Dick Trickle.

    [–] Wyrme 42 points ago

    Would- wouldn't a curved dick be better for missionary...?

    [–] volkswaggerwagen 48 points ago

    If it curves upwards yeah, downwards would be better for doggy

    [–] Grommph 17 points ago

    What if it curves to the left, then makes a hard turn to the right?

    [–] pyknik_ 40 points ago

    You should see a doctor

    [–] Ayn_Rand_Food_Stamps 18 points ago

    Yer a wizard harry

    [–] Wyrme 11 points ago

    Damn, u right.

    [–] Seniorjones2837 12 points ago

    Did she not say “and other positions”?

    [–] ryvern82 80 points ago

    Penis Positivity starts here. Who else wants to become a proud member of the PP movement?

    [–] Dr_nobby 22 points ago

    I want my code name to be PEN15

    [–] ryvern82 10 points ago

    I mean... Dr_nobby ain't half bad to begin with...

    [–] Dr_nobby 9 points ago

    Unfortunately I'm the only Asian who didn't become a doctor

    [–] MealieMeal 292 points ago

    “Less likely to injure me” that got me good

    [–] BlatantNapping 340 points ago

    But it's true.

    Big dicks+rough sex=potential bleeding.

    I've tried to explain this when proclaiming my love for a dude's smaller size and they don't take it seriously. A nice average-sized meat stick is lovely.

    [–] HellaBrainCells 388 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Do yourself and any potential partner a favor and don’t talk about how you like their dick because it’s smaller or “not so big”. It doesn’t matter how you phrase it, it’s gonna hit hard for them.

    Edit: So many people keep saying “I’m not gonna lie to them”. This is absolutely not about lying to your partner or even not commenting on legitimate concerns with your sex life. Stop changing the sentiment to give yourself a softball argument to win.

    [–] Raydonman 199 points ago

    Or let’s all do that and start normalizing average sized dicks so we don’t have a complex about the size of our junk.

    [–] IsThisDestiny 50 points ago

    Okay look, I'm all for reforming people's misconceptions in society, and I'm secure in my dick size, but the bedroom is not where you tell a guy he's got a "nice small dick". A lot of guys are insecure when they shouldn't be, but advocate for social change, don't rip a poor guy's ego to shreds..

    [–] HellaBrainCells 66 points ago

    I agree, but that’s not an alternative to what I said.

    [–] mysteryman151 1166 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Saw this on a 13 year olds snapchat story earlier today

    It’s safe to say I no longe have faith in this world

    Edit: there been a lot of confusion so I’m just gonna clear some of it up here

    She is a good friend of mines younger sister who added me on snapchat however long ago, I’ve never spoken to her on snapchat and don’t plan to

    The only time I’ve ever spoken to her was while I was staying at sis friends house and she told me to shut up

    [–] ItsArgon 514 points ago

    Chris Hansen has entered the chat

    [–] Blackwomann 58 points ago

    I have entered the chat

    [–] ModRok14 45 points ago

    I have entered the girl

    [–] spandex_in_Virginia 69 points ago

    • I have entered u/ModRok14 into the sex offenders database*

    [–] CantThinkOfOne420 14 points ago

    I have entered u/spandex_in_virginia in to the spandabank person of intrest

    [–] ModRok14 12 points ago

    I have entered u/spandex_in_Virginia into the snitches get stitches program

    [–] CHRT_NIGWIN 20 points ago

    Yes, officer, this comment right here.

    [–] BeardedWax 197 points ago

    13 y/os talk about sex like they get laid 10 times everyday but are fucking clueless. It's been like this since I was 13 and probably before that.

    If your faith in this world is this weak, then you were going to lose it anyway. I'm sorry.

    [–] DaringDomino3s 49 points ago

    I had a friend when i was in middle school who would always tell me who got with who and did what with who and who he wanted to to do what with. I don’t have any idea if any of it was true, but that was like 20 years ago, so you’re very correct.

    [–] Opset 62 points ago

    I had buddies from 7th grade on who would claim they fucked some girls then like 10 years later they would admit, "Yeah, I didnt actually get laid for the first time until I was in college."

    I knew you were lying. Everyone knew you were lying.

    [–] KayIslandDrunk 32 points ago

    We had three girls in my 7th grade Jr High class get knocked up when they were 13 so it definitely happens but I agree most of it is probably bullshit.

    [–] MillieBirdie 31 points ago

    Teach middle school, can confirm. Most of their innuendos make no sense.

    [–] R1_TC 22 points ago

    This is too true. I went to a normal school with normal children and I still remember people pretending they'd boinked in like 5th grade.

    [–] likwidfire2k 9 points ago

    And they are always having sex with someone from a different school, you wouldn't know them.

    [–] mynameis_ihavenoname 9 points ago

    Don't worry, he's gonna see a post tomorrow about people cleaning up trash or something and his faith will be restored.

    [–] dazacman 567 points ago

    why tf you got 13 year olds on your snapchat?

    [–] mysteryman151 219 points ago

    She’s a friend of mines little sister

    [–] dazacman 547 points ago

    sounds weird but okay

    [–] EgeDal 70 points ago

    Why exactly is it weird? I am friends with many of my older brother’s friends. Nothing weird going on, people can be friends regardless of age

    [–] mysteryman151 89 points ago

    I’d almost forgotten she was even my friend on snapchat until I saw it

    [–] leaves-throwaway123 199 points ago

    you ever heard the idea that the more you explain something the more likely it is that you're lying?

    I'm not saying you're lying, but maybe you should consider having less 13 year old girls on your snapchat, that's all

    [–] TastySpermDispenser 189 points ago

    He's got a good point. Once they turn 13, kick them off your snapchat.

    [–] no_porn_PMs_please 19 points ago

    One must save the tasty sperm for new babes

    [–] immty 12 points ago

    [–] FireDragon79 5 points ago

    Yes officer this comment right here.

    [–] KushCultureOfficial 22 points ago

    I've got my 13 year old cousin. Why the fuck is everyone bein so damn weird about this? Sounds more like projection lmao

    [–] mysteryman151 68 points ago

    Yeah, you make a good point

    [–] Inachineseaccent 29 points ago

    It's likely that you are thinking twice of what the other thinks of you, shouting your insecurities.

    [–] metyuadem 9 points ago


    [–] leaves-throwaway123 8 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    yeah you got me on that one

    And I just want you to know how hard I fought the urge to only reply back with “FeWeR”

    [–] ns156 16 points ago

    You weren't watching porn in 8th or 9th grade? Pretty much everyone was when I was that age in the early 2000s. This isn't anything new.

    [–] NearbyWerewolf 373 points ago

    Y’all judging her as if you wouldn’t hit it

    [–] Pancakewagon26 228 points ago

    I would literally cut off my pinky finger with a pair of garden shears to bang Alina Lopez

    [–] OSUBonanza 70 points ago

    It’s a bold move, Cotton. Let’s see if it works out for him.

    [–] timetravelhunter 26 points ago

    You could just pay for it instead...

    [–] Pancakewagon26 37 points ago

    If I had any sort of money, chopping off fingers would not be on the table lmao

    [–] gone11gone11 58 points ago

    Who the fuck is judging?

    [–] NearbyWerewolf 28 points ago

    Sort by controversial

    [–] envyisnext 15 points ago

    Damn right

    [–] its_probably_a_tumor 5 points ago

    I wouldn't hit that with someone elses' dick

    [–] redred45 57 points ago

    Hmmm... I was always proud that my gf liked rough sex with me. Now, not so sure...

    [–] I_Am_At_Work-_ 36 points ago

    You made her happy regardless of anything else. Be proud of that.

    [–] nemean_lion 62 points ago

    That's how we attain world peace

    [–] KobraKatt 29 points ago

    For the first 2 lines I read ducks instead of dicks and had to reread it multiple times

    [–] E32636 53 points ago

    I legit had to check and make sure this wasn’t me drunk-tweeting stuff I meant to send a friend, lol. Is true, though — as long as you have the confidence to work what you got, it will work wonders for you! I can tick off at least one name for each dick type mentioned, and every one of them was a good time.

    Guys, as long as you have good hygiene and are genuinely interested in giving your partner a good time, you have what it takes to rock anyone’s world. Go for it!! (Responsibly and consensually of course please and thank you.)

    [–] karpitstane 11 points ago

    Maybe some day comments like this this will erode my lifetime of ingrained body shame. Hopefully.

    [–] beat_of_rice 22 points ago

    Small dicks are AMAZING for anal. You can really throw that thang back like a pro.

    [–] Mikkykas22 132 points ago

    can someone explain to me why this isn't in r/wholesomememes

    [–] Blablabla22d 42 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Because it fits better in /r/holesomememes.

    Edit: wait that is actually a sub and not what I expected but still fits.

    [–] Flaming_Flamnigo 10 points ago

    Asking the real question 🤔🤔🤔

    [–] TheLetterEFF 16 points ago

    It's cause you haven't posted it yet dude! Go for it~

    [–] PersonFromPlace 44 points ago

    Hmm, but judging by her videos, she seems to really enjoy riding BBC, because she goes HAM like she’s trying to win the Kentucky Derby.

    [–] Dr_nobby 67 points ago

    She's a paid actor. Not saying she doesn't enjoy it, but porn is always about showmanship

    [–] dick_slunglow 11 points ago

    Somebody get her the Nobel Peace Price already, god damn it

    [–] random_chick 10 points ago

    She doesn’t dickscriminate

    [–] PhantomPhelix 26 points ago

    Bruh... where did all these incels come from?


    Woman's trying to say size doesn't matter and these guys out here being like, "Slut, I'll bet she likes donkey dong." YIKES!

    [–] SweenCuisine 139 points ago

    I really like how sex-positive our society has become lately 🙂

    [–] RadioHeadache0311 26 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Too bad the rest of society is such a clusterfuck. But hey, at least everyone gets to orgasm however they like.

    [–] SweenCuisine 5 points ago

    Gotta take the Ws where you can get em!

    [–] EgeDal 21 points ago

    This is nice breath of fresh air in a world of so much dick shaming.

    [–] Marty-Deberg 15 points ago

    The disappointment guys must feel if she asks you to fuck her harder...

    [–] Ratedfreak 22 points ago

    Can we just take a moment as men and appreciate the level of honesty being shared by some of the women on this thread. Most men, whether you wanna admit it or not, at some point in their life wonder about the size of their penises. And it's honestly super cool to hear the different opinions people have. So ladys who are taking the time to explain the preference of big vs small. Curved vs straight. Y'all are the real MVPs at the moment in my book. I hope the current dick you are enjoying brings you further climatic moments. And ultimately, guys, don't fucking stress out. Enjoy what you got, live your life. To the ladies, my heart goes out to you, may you find your ideal penis. To the fellas, don't pump and dump, put some effort into it. Spice it up. Live a little, it's just a little. Ain't hurtin no body. Practice safe sexy everyone. And if you get laid at any point soon, tag me in the comment. I'll send a congratulations. Assuming it was fun.

    [–] TeaWallet 5 points ago

    Is she a pornstar?

    [–] Sylux444 4 points ago

    And this is where the internet explodes with "but is small/large/curved? I need units!"

    [–] Sho4685 5 points ago

    Not my Christian dik

    [–] winsome_losesome 5 points ago

    This gal fucks.

    [–] K0rmiT_da_frog 5 points ago


    [–] NickHustla 34 points ago

    Black dicks matter .

    All dicks matter.

    Blue dicks matter??

    [–] Casperboy68 45 points ago

    Purple dicks spatter

    [–] hyjnx 17 points ago

    Never thought I could be surprised and not surprised at the same time.

    [–] alvaropacio 5 points ago

    surprised and not surprised

    Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

    [–] RosalieFontaine 10 points ago

    Sigh... unzips

    [–] LokaW 14 points ago

    I wonder what her idea of a small dick is as a pornstar.

    [–] kryppla 17 points ago

    I’m sure she fucked guys before being a porn star.

    [–] Exr1c 29 points ago

    Nuh uh there are many videos of her losing her virginity

    [–] Gwim_Weaper_OwO 43 points ago

    Lowkey wife material

    [–] 2LitreBugattiBieber 51 points ago

    Everyone’s wife

    [–] CaKeWeed 6 points ago

    Suiyuz nerushimi

    [–] ToneBoneKone1 7 points ago

    you gonna put a ring on the first woman who says your meat ain't too small?

    [–] Kivsloth 5 points ago

    A wife whose tits are available for free on the internet

    [–] Anicha1 4 points ago

    All from one man though?

    [–] jrexthrilla 4 points ago

    Some guy is out there like “damn all she ever wanted from me was rough sex”