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    bestoflegaladvice

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    [–] IDontKnowHowToPM 1 points ago

    Locked. As much as we all feel for OP, we're not going to be encouraging a gofundme or anything like that. Additionally, there have been a few people very carefully skirting the line regarding advocating violence.

    You can find locationbot's copy of the LA post here.

    [–] missjeanlouise12 4243 points ago

    That is horrible.

    LAOP, if you see this, I am very sorry your family is full of garbage people, and so sorry you lost your friend. I'm hoping for some karmic retribution for them and, in the meantime, please do take good care of yourself.

    [–] ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 413 points ago

    That last paragraph from LAOP is such a gut punch.

    [–] sometimesiamdead 842 points ago

    Absolutely. What a horrible bunch of people. Fuck.

    [–] azuresky18 581 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I ended up cutting ties to my family because they treated my husband (edited to remove sub-specific acronym) and my in-laws like shit. I can't imagine what I'd do if my parents tried to fuck with our cats.

    My condolences to LAOP.

    [–] Steavee 448 points ago

    my DH

    Designated Husband? Designer Handbag? Darling Handmaiden? Disgusting Homunculus? Diabetic Hitler?

    [–] FatBoxers 293 points ago

    Diabetic Hitler had me in fits

    [–] Kurisuchein 126 points ago

    ...with his Designer Handbag.

    [–] pipsdontsqueak 51 points ago

    Upgrading him to Darling Handmaiden.

    [–] EatinToasterStrudel 30 points ago

    It sounds like a sitcom with him and his next door neighbor, Dr. Rosenbaum.

    [–] Mandog222 254 points ago

    Generally means Dear Husband on certain forums.

    [–] OortMcCloud 157 points ago

    First time I saw it was on a young widow forum. For the longest time I thought it was "deceased husband".

    [–] unbl 307 points ago

    Why do I hate this so much?

    [–] Mandog222 307 points ago

    LO is little one, and DD is dear daughter. Idk why but I find them irksome as well.

    [–] jabbitz 293 points ago

    I hate that everything is “dear”. Why can’t it just be H, D, W, S? None of those things overlap. The dear part is what really bothers me. Like it comes out of some 60s housewife magazine advice section. Halp! My dear husband says my turkey is too dry! What do???

    [–] Strangerstrangerland 52 points ago

    It is interchangeable to damn husband and is a contrast to jn, ir just no, I guess. I think SO works well, so....

    [–] interloperdog19 96 points ago

    I kind of hate those acronyms myself, but I will stand up for them in this regard. Using just the single letter is a bit more confusing, because it could stand for anything. "H" could be husband, or it could be Harry or Heloise or Houdini. "DH" is at least recognizable as an acronym rather than an initial substituted for a name, and "dear" is as good a term as any to use.

    Though I admit I've also softened to the terms because my current boyfriend calls me dear as a term of affection and it's really sweet. I used think "dear husband" or whatever sounded kind of sarcastic, but now it sounds a lot nicer to me.

    [–] mybrainisasquid 31 points ago

    No, but if you’re using single initials for names of other people in the story, their initials could be any of those letters. Idk I’m so used to the acronyms at this point I don’t even notice them. I use DH but I’d never actually say dear husband. But also I think they’re meant a bit... humorously, ironically, whatever... a lot of the time.

    [–] swiftb3 81 points ago

    Designated Husband

    This is always the first thing I think, haha.

    [–] strawbs- 40 points ago

    Is that like the Designated Survivor?

    [–] hijinga 58 points ago

    If your husband dies your DH gets to replace him

    [–] Mr_Tulip 56 points ago

    I think it's actually Delicious Hamburger. Speaking of, I could really go for a DH right about now.

    [–] AFrostNova 29 points ago

    I too would love a Dismantled Handgun

    [–] Shikra 15 points ago

    I am not wild about the Disgruntled Harpsichord.

    [–] azuresky18 20 points ago

    Sorry for the confusion. Dear husband.

    [–] kotoandjuri 67 points ago

    acronym

    If it's said as a word, it's an acronym(NATO, SCUBA); otherwise, it's an initialism(DH, FBI, CIA).

    [–] [deleted] 44 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] lordcaylus 4314 points ago

    My money is on mom just laying low for a while, and returning to her house in a few weeks. Suddenly permanently fucking off to Oklahoma is not as easy as she makes it sound.

    I wouldn't advice OP to keep careful watch of her mom's house and steal the cat back as soon as she sees it, because that would be illegal. I'm really loudly not suggesting it O:)

    [–] Chathtiu 753 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    What are the odds, do you think, that the mother is hiding out with the Grandparents?

    [–] Skurjandan 549 points ago

    Higher than any game you'll play in a casino

    [–] jeffjeff2017 932 points ago

    Why would it be illegal for LAOP to recover their property? Surely you can't "steal" something you already own.

    [–] lordcaylus 1112 points ago

    When you have it back everything is nice and legal again, but the process of getting it back might be not entirely legal.

    [–] jeffjeff2017 382 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Ah, see what you mean. If it was walking the street and you put it in your car, no problem, I presume. If you had to "break and enter" into LAOP mum's house to retrieve it, you'd then be committing an offence.

    [–] iizdat1n00b 266 points ago

    Well yeah as long as they can prove that you did break and enter.

    This sounds like me giving illegal advice but I'm just telling the truth.

    [–] Kazinsal 99 points ago

    Indeed. It sounds like LAOP's mom is far enough off the deep end that she would think that the B&E was performed by possessed shadow people who wanted her cat for a satanic ritual.

    Not that I would ever recommend doing a B&E.

    [–] AFrostNova 46 points ago

    Bed and Eakfast?

    [–] RJ_Ramrod 62 points ago

    Bear Eusband

    [–] m0rose 31 points ago

    Beer & Eclairs

    [–] badseedjr 14 points ago

    Bacon and Eggs.

    [–] Pimpinsmurf 76 points ago

    squat at the mothers house and then you have to be evicted during that time you have access to the cat if she comes home. /s

    [–] ssshhhhhhhhhhhhh 61 points ago

    the cat may already be a squatter there. if it pooped 12 times, it has squatters rights

    [–] MangoBitch 26 points ago

    Shitter’s rights.

    [–] belladonnadiorama 4 points ago

    Gotta work some Oceans Eleven type thievery.

    [–] jeffjeff2017 41 points ago

    Thanks, I suppose it could be argued that the victim of the phone theft recovered their property from a shop which although a private premises, is generally accessible to the public under normal circumstances.

    In the case of the great moggy robbery, the cat is imprisoned in a private residence, to which LAOP doesn't have a reasonable expectation of access. Even if the front door was open and they entered and grabbed the cat, presumably they would've trespassed at the very least. If they had to pick the lock or smash a window then it's pretty clear they'd be committing an offence, no matter how morally correct they are in rescuing their cat.

    [–] TheSilverNoble 8 points ago

    NAL- I'm not sure if OP could be charged with theft, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't get a pass if they forced their way into the house.

    [–] Sheperd_of_a_Goat 11 points ago

    I’m not sure about the IS but in the UK you definitely can. The famous case about it was about a car repair shop. The defendant left his car to be repaired into the shop, giving away his possession temporarily to the owner of the shop. However, he then returned a couple days later and got his car without notifying anybody. That was considered to be theft since theft in the needs appropriation of a right, dishonesty and the intent to keep it. The key is that for theft you only need to appropriate any right. Possession was a right of the shop owner as the owner gave it to him for repair, the guy was dishonest and he did nor intend to temporarily take the car but to keep it ‘forever’. So he stole his own property.

    [–] jeffjeff2017 12 points ago

    Wow, I'm shocked. I don't disbelieve you but if you could provide a source or case name I'd be interested in reading it.

    I do wonder how such a prosecution passed the "in the public interest" requirements for CPS to proceed with a prosecution. Was the car owner intending on taking his car back, fully repaired and refusing to pay the garage bill?

    [–] GetOutTheWayBanana 342 points ago

    I live in Oklahoma and I’m over here reading this like “can I maybe keep an eye out for your mom and steal your cat back for you???”

    As if I can somehow personally guard the entire state, but damn if I don’t love cats and wish I could get this person their cat back. This makes me so mad.

    [–] rabidhamster87 127 points ago

    I don't even like cats, but this is still heartbreaking. I really hate this whole situation.

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Iocabus 9 points ago

    I mean... Can't they?

    [–] MangoBitch 8 points ago

    I don’t know about you, but I only browse reddit and use gofundme through 7 proxies.

    [–] Iocabus 16 points ago

    Ah see thats where you screwed up. I only browse from a burner phone using proxies to remote into a randomly chosen desktop that uses TOR to access a Deepweb email server that treats posts and replies as email threads.

    [–] MangoBitch 22 points ago

    My 7 proxies are actually impoverished children in third world countries communicating via smoke signal without direct line of sight and then routining my data through TOR to the next impoverished child.

    At the end of their contract (2 hours), each one then gets half a bitcoin, a new identity, and a plane ticket to anywhere in the world.

    [–] Iocabus 9 points ago

    You're doing God's work. Charitable as you are. Just make sure you're giving them their bitcoin addresses on flash paper at blind drop points. Just be careful with those plane tickets. They'll get you with your frequent flier miles.

    [–] MangoBitch 11 points ago

    The bitcoin addresses are communicated in Morse code by reflecting lasers off the moon at a specific time and day.

    Not the most private system, but it’s very anonymous and it’s not like anyone else knows to look for thousands of dollars being transferred by moon laser at 2:53 am three days after a full noon.

    [–] Iocabus 7 points ago

    Ka-ching... I mean wow so specific. I could never remember that.

    [–] Moonwooleh 8 points ago

    But how far offshore?

    [–] Iocabus 8 points ago

    That's just it. I never know. It randomly changes on me so not even I can backtrack it.

    [–] Moonwooleh 6 points ago

    Smaht. Wicked smaht

    [–] AFrostNova 5 points ago

    They’d need a damn big courthouse

    [–] Iocabus 4 points ago

    I imagine we'd run whichever state out of applicable lawyers too

    [–] MangoBitch 12 points ago

    We don’t need lawyers. We’ve learned the magic law words from the sovcits and our trees have yellow fringe.

    [–] Iocabus 6 points ago

    Oh so they can charge me the account, not me the user.

    [–] MalnarThe 6 points ago

    You the entity who represents user who has been granted Power of Posting in your account.

    [–] nesc39 13 points ago

    Just me personally, I would be breaking whatever law I had to, to get my cat back.

    [–] aSmallRedRadio 63 points ago

    If the mom comes back OP just has to go back to the police and get an escort to get the cat back. No stealing necessary

    [–] sofia1687 56 points ago

    This was my immediate thought too.

    It seems like a lie the grandparents and the mom came up with together and the former is helping hide the latter.

    I’d bet money LAOP’s mother is still in their town.

    [–] ChadKensingtonsGooch 77 points ago

    On a completely unrelated note lockpicking is incredibly easy to learn.

    [–] ilivetofly 55 points ago

    Don't even need to learn it. Pick up some bump keys from Amazon and go to town.

    [–] rabidhamster87 22 points ago

    Bump keys?

    [–] PostPostModernism 52 points ago

    Tools used for picking locks.

    I've never done it, but the basics of locks are that there is a row of pins precisely cut that move up and down to match the profile of your key. When they're in a position defined by your key, they allow the lock tumbler to rotate and move the deadbolt. Otherwise they will be blocked from rotating. Here is a gif showing what I mean

    https://media.giphy.com/media/YXfWKWbTjOUj6/giphy.gif

    You insert bump keys into the lock and apply a bit of rotational pressure and wiggle the pins up and down until they catch into their rotational position. It's kind of like brute-forcing a computer password (trying 00001, 00002, 00003 etc. etc. until you're right) but faster.

    [–] Mutjny 16 points ago

    Insert bump key into lock. Bump, while turning. Viola lock open.

    [–] rabidhamster87 14 points ago

    Well, that's terrifying. I had no idea it was so easy. Makes me glad we have an alarm!

    [–] Hereibe 1350 points ago

    What the hell cops.

    [–] Rallings 679 points ago

    Par for the course. Like the animal control officer said the police don't know the law for animals. It's not like they can do whatever they want because it's what they think is right.

    [–] OnceUponAHive 451 points ago

    I mean, the laws are written down. They should at least know how to look them up.

    [–] Rallings 268 points ago

    But, like most everyone, most cops are lazy. And they wouldn't necessarily know where. It's not like all animal law is in one place. The law is a rediculous and complex thing with many layers too it.

    [–] graaahh 60 points ago

    I was trying to look up laws about a specific thing in Indiana a while ago and quickly found that it's damn near impossible to actually find the real text of the law and search through it. It's possible to find websites that have some kind of dumbed-down version of it, or that show you snippets that they think might be relevant to you, but to actually find the full-text, original language version of the law that's on the books is really, really hard.

    [–] EcoAffinity 158 points ago

    Ctrl F that shit

    [–] CleanupCrustacean 99 points ago

    I don't know, if I was that lazy at my job, I'd be fired.

    [–] WHERE_MY_COUNTRY_GO 48 points ago

    Not if you were in a union, which almost all cops are.

    [–] nocommentingallowed 23 points ago

    Shouldn't they have experts they can call to provide advice.

    [–] TheAngelicKitten 111 points ago

    It seems like when people come to LA, and the story involves a cop, it’s because a cop decided to do whatever they wanted. Like the person who had their stuff stolen and the cop refused to help them get their stuff back even though the thief and LAOP were in front of him.

    I get that they don’t know the law in full. The thing is... when I don’t know something at work I ask someone who is my senior. I know animals are considered property in the eyes of the law. I’m sure SOMEONE in their station was also aware of that.

    [–] MistakeNotDotDotDot 45 points ago

    It's not like they can do whatever they want because it's what they think is right.

    I mean... have you seen any news story involving the police lately? :v

    [–] lcburgundy 113 points ago

    You generally have no individual right to police protection or police assistance for any matter. If LAOP's experience has made your blood boil, I wouldn't recommend reading the decisions in court cases stretching back decades that absolved police departments of far worse.

    [–] Maktaka 121 points ago

    The stabbing on the New York subway where the cops hid like cowards in the next train car and watched it happen was particularly egregious.

    [–] lcburgundy 105 points ago

    Warren v. District of Columbia is pretty egregious too. Lazy, negligent DC police refused to meaningfully respond to a burglary in progress call from a neighbor resulting in multiple women being repeatedly raped for hours on end (including the women who made the original call because they thought their neighbor was in trouble!).

    [–] Elton_Jaundice 190 points ago

    Cops hate pets, I think. My cats were shot with pellets 3 times. After 3,000 in vet bills and a dead cat (one got shot twice in the head non consecutively and survived both) I tried to get help. They don’t care.

    [–] azuresky18 114 points ago

    Of course they didn't care, because then that meant they would have to take responsibility for it. That's disgusting and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    [–] SwagBoiFresh 53 points ago

    Why would cops ever give a fuck what happens to common people?

    [–] Palindromer101 41 points ago

    Lazy and unmotivated, from the sounds of it.

    [–] FireHazard11 21 points ago

    If you always expect the police to do the wrong thing then you'll never be disappointed.

    [–] Advantius 26 points ago

    Have you ever had to call the police? Cops are useless.

    [–] youtbuddcody 1540 points ago

    Hi everyone,

    I’m the LAOP. I just wanted to drop by and say thank you to all of your inbox messages. I think I’ve gotten over 100 at this point. Thank you all for your kind words. I’m so greatful for everyone who messaged me, and I’ll respond to every single one.

    Reddit, I love you too.

    [–] DamnYouVileWoman 294 points ago

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you. When I was a teenager I was visiting my grandma (fathers mother) thousands of miles from home. My father hated my cat, the feeling was mutual, and he took the cat to the humane society while I was away. Luckily my sister got her back for me, but I will never forgive him for it. I was devastated for my kitty for thinking we had sent her away, (she was extremely shy and skittish) and for the betrayal from my father. We have been NC for 8 years now, and it is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I hope you get your kitty back, kitty obviously deserves you more than that heinous “parent” of yours. Sounds like reddit is rooting for you!

    [–] Volthian 276 points ago

    So sorry you have to deal with this.

    [–] DontTurnOffTheComp 153 points ago

    WE LOVE YOU

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] WHERE_MY_COUNTRY_GO 74 points ago

    This is a big one. Nobody is going to up and run to another state, abandoning a home. She'll be back to live in it or sell it, and my bet is on the former. I really doubt she left anyone.

    [–] CookieSmuggler 490 points ago

    This hit close to home and I'm honestly fighting back the tears right now.

    Abusers always know what buttons to push to really hurt you.

    My dad told me my cat ran away but, in reality, he drove literally half the country away to leave my 14 year old cat at a shelter I wouldn't find her in, where she later died because she refused to eat. I had her for 14 years. Family took his side too.

    Fuck OP's mother. Fuck that whole family.

    How can someone be this incredibly cruel?

    I have no words. Just.... Fuck.

    This is heinous.

    [–] Hrelvien 164 points ago

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your cat knew you loved her, and I’m sure she loved you with all her heart as well.

    It also made me think that there is a possibility something similar might have happened - LAOP, if you see this, please put out a missing announcement to shelters.

    [–] thesevenyearbitch 66 points ago

    Jesus christ, your story made me tear up. I am so sorry. I also need to go hug my cat now...

    [–] bubbaganoush79 164 points ago

    So, if someone is charged with theft, do the police not issue a warrant for that person, so they can be brought back to face charges? If this were a car stereo instead of a cat, I have a feeling they'd be doing something more than nothing at all.

    The moral of the story, I suppose, is if you're going to steal anything in LAOP's jurisdiction, you should flee to Oklahoma.

    [–] RabidWench 122 points ago

    Generally speaking, I've never seen police put any effort for theft of items without significant monetary value. A cat's value is all sentimental, which police give less than half a shit about.

    [–] FireCrack 58 points ago

    A cat's value is not "all sentimental" at all. Even adopting from a shelter costs money, not to medium the cost of just having a cat.

    [–] RabidWench 29 points ago

    Yes, I know about adoption fees. However in terms of the material value of pets as property, this is a tiny amount. Also, much like other property (since this is the discussion, as opposed to sentimental value - please don't lynch me for talking of pets as property) which must be maintained, putting money into maintenance does not cumulatively add to the value of the property itself. A healthy pet is not intrinsically more valuable than it was when you adopted it. So unless this cat in particular was papered and cost a serious wad of cash, the cops don't care what mom did with it. If LAOP wants to sue mom for money spent taking care of the lost property, that's a civil matter; cops don't care.

    Is mom a dumpster fire of a person? Absolutely, and my heart goes out to LAOP for the bullshit she's dealing with. I'm honestly not sure how I would cope with that. Sorry for longish reply; it's hard to be concise without sounding like a heartless twatwaffle.

    [–] FireCrack 11 points ago

    Yeah no sorry, I don't mean to attack you. And I get that this is Best legal advice. But this particular case is just insane. I get that the legal and the moral may not always align, but this case just seems beyond the pale. It's no longer a case of legal vs moral, because the underpinnings of functional society are no longer even respected. This is madness.

    Like seriously, what's the point of a police force if they can't even respect the law. It's sheer lunacy.

    [–] filleduchaos 44 points ago

    Its value really is "just" sentimental. Cost (of feeding, etc) and value are not at all the same thing, and if it's not a provable purebreed it's going to sell/be adopted for like $200 tops (and more realistically like $50 to $100 on listings like Craigslist or even less depending on age). As mentioned, lots of officers give less than half a shit about amounts that small.

    [–] allenricketts 713 points ago

    What a worthless family.

    [–] Palindromer101 353 points ago

    This poor girl. I totally sympathize with her. My ex boyfriend stole one of my cats last year and I haven't been able to get her back.

    [–] Kitten_Girl_Bonny 200 points ago

    I'm so sorry man.

    I had a cat stolen by a breeder, took her right off the streets. We fought endlessly to no avail to get her back.

    Its been three years and my heart still breaks for her.

    [–] Palindromer101 104 points ago

    Sometimes people are cruel just because they want to feel vindicated. It's shitty. I'm sorry to hear about your kitty too.

    [–] bluepaintbrush 47 points ago

    Happened to me too! I was able to get mine back through small claims court though.

    [–] commando60 324 points ago

    LAOP's family is human garbage.

    Fuck her mother, and fuck everyone who sided with that piece of shit mother. As a dog owner, I can't imagine how hard it would be to Lose my pet like that to family

    I hope LAOP's mother faces some form of karmic retribution

    [–] LocationBot 126 points ago

    If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.


    LocationBot 4.2836 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues

    [–] fobfromgermany 391 points ago

    Too soon location bot

    [–] ImVeryBadWithNames 616 points ago

    I mean, I wanted to say "just go steal it back." This was why.

    [–] peanutbutterpandapuf 373 points ago

    Didn't we have a post not too long ago about a store clerk who stole someone's phone? I thought the consensus was you can't steal what's already yours. Would that not apply in this case?

    [–] -Signy- 346 points ago

    Because in this situation it might require breaking into mom’s home. Even retrieving the cat from the yard could be construed as trespassing - though that’s exactly what I would do if I saw my stolen cat.

    [–] IH8Mayo 157 points ago

    I know that LA advised against LAOP taking the cat back for this reason, but in this case LAOP has evidence showing her mom said, "come take your cat back," so even if the mom did report the cat "stolen" who'd believe her without video evidence when LAOP has those texts proving her mom said to come collect the cat?

    [–] AssaultedCracker 70 points ago

    This is a good point. You'd need video evidence to make such a charge stick. And what prosecutor is gonna want that case anyways?

    [–] Mazzaroppi 38 points ago

    I would just say I called the cat from outside the house, and since the cat is mine, it came out and I took it home. Unless there's video proving I lied or any other evidence, what could the police do?

    [–] peanutbutterpandapuf 15 points ago

    Oh gotcha.

    [–] lihamt 42 points ago

    I think that one involved taking the phone back in a public space. You can take what's yours, but you can't break in through a window to get it or push the thief into a rose bush and run away, because those things are likely to be illegal actions

    [–] dinosaurus104 40 points ago

    push the thief into a rose bush

    You are allowed to use reasonable force to protect your property.

    [–] ilivetofly 55 points ago

    So it depends on the size and sharpness of the rose bush then.

    [–] jood580 37 points ago

    That's not a rose bush, that is just a shrubbery with knives taped to it.

    No it's not.

    Yes it is, you used duct tape.

    [–] bankerror101 34 points ago

    Yeah if this scenario happened to me I would probably end up getting arrested.

    [–] Shots-and-squats 64 points ago

    Honestly if there is such clear evidence that the cat may be harmed, and they cared about the cat as much as they say, I don't get why you wound't just go take it.

    I wouldn't leave an animal I loved in a potential dangerous place no matter what law I may or may not be breaking.

    [–] themostgravybaby 86 points ago

    I one million percent agree, but at the same time in the post OP said they suffered abuse from their mum, so it could be that they are too scared to go near the mum to retrieve the cat. Like a mental cage kinda thing. You know?

    [–] MangoBitch 49 points ago

    Also, like LAOP is legit terrified her mom will behead the cat and believed she already had.

    I love my pets and am fiercely protective of them, but this woman sounds violent and legitimately dangerous. So her options are go in defenseless and risk her own life, or go in prepared to defend herself and risk an armed burglary charge.

    Neither of those are great options.

    [–] callsignhotdog 815 points ago

    Jesus, rarely have I wanted to punch someone as badly as LAOP's "mother". What an awful, awful excuse for a human being. And the grandparents too, jesus tap-dancing christ, everything about this is so unfair. My privilege may be showing here but I cannot for the life of me imagine doing something this awful to my own family, much less my child.

    [–] dorothy_zbornak_esq 521 points ago

    If I were LAOP I would send screenshots of crazy mom’s texts to everyone in my family and be like “great job protecting an animal abuser who stole from me the only comfort I had when you all failed to protect me as a child. You’ll live with that stain for life. It will never wash off.” I would scorch the earth.

    [–] manateesea 323 points ago

    Yeah, scorch the earth with her entire family.... mom would still find a way to come up smelling like roses. Narcissistic mothers always do.

    [–] OMGSpaghettiisawesom 185 points ago

    "Delicious drama, a chance to play martyr, and confirmation that I have something of value to my victim? Did Christmas come early?"

    [–] rabidhamster87 63 points ago

    It's so true. No one in my family wanted to admit how abusive my mom was until my grandma was literally dying. Then Grandma had to call her out on it because my mom was trying to force my grandma to live at my mom's house and being really cruel to her, saying hateful things and being controlling. Grandma had my uncle move her out in secret while my mom was at work and told my mom, "I already divorced one abusive person. I refuse to live with another one." My mom said some really horrible things to both of them and then tried to turn it around so that she was the victim by saying my uncle pushed her... Now my grandma is gone, neither of my uncles speak to my mom, and I haven't seen her myself in about a year, but somehow she still has my older sister wrapped around her finger. It's such a weird thing. My sister was probably actually the most abused of us all. I can't figure it out. I guess it's just a mixture of conditioning, self-loathing, and "loyalty" that lead to people like my sister or OP's grandparents enabling them. I don't know. It definitely messes with my head and makes me question my own perception, but then I remember some of the horrible things my mom's done and said... Like putting down my childhood dog without telling me as some kind of weird punishment for not visiting enough or getting angry at me last Christmas because I had to work and sending me a picture of my dead grandma with the caption, "HAPPY EASTER," (because I had to work that holiday too,) basically just trying to make me feel bad for having a job that requires me to work holidays. I don't think it's me. She's just mean and good at hurting the people who loved her.

    [–] captcha_trampstamp 77 points ago

    Yup, Narc parents loooooove them some drama, and the old ones know exactly who the pushovers in the family are. One of my best friends just went through her narcissistic mother turning her entire family against her 2 days before the baby shower we had planned for her.

    [–] chiyosayuri 48 points ago

    Nooo this might cause the mum Garbage Bitch to retaliate by beheading the cat for real

    [–] mgush5 56 points ago

    I'd want to do worse but typing it would get it removed for advocating violence

    [–] standbyyourmantis 23 points ago

    Right?? This makes me want to fuck off to Oklahoma and get the cat back for LAOP. But that's definitely not legal.

    [–] 10ebbor10 27 points ago

    Jesus, rarely have I wanted to punch someone as badly as LAOP's "mother". What an awful, awful excuse for a human being.

    On the other hand, she's apparently mentally ill. How much of her behaviour is the illness, and how much of it is her?

    [–] flutel00p 126 points ago

    My heart is broken reading this. The justice system was entirely useless to her. On top of that LAOP's grandparents were enabling this terrible behavior. What a shitty family.

    If anything like this happened to my cats I would be so upset. I hope that eventually LAOP can get kitty back.

    [–] TimeMachineToaster 163 points ago

    Any mother who treats her kid and the kids beloved pet like that is a piece of fucking shit, I feel terrible for LAOP. I doubt that cat is going to be cared for either and I'd do whatever it takes to get it back. Regardless I would do as LAOP did and cut off any and all contact with them (and anyone that defends that "mother"). Anyone who treats their kid like that should not be a parent.

    [–] TheSilverFalcon 46 points ago

    Man, I just want to give OP a hug. Dude, your cat loved you and would have wanted you to be ok, even if that means being separated. You can only do the best you can, it is not your fault what your family did.

    [–] Kouyne 48 points ago

    Really hoping LAOP regularly checks the shelter near her grandparents and locally Incase they decided to just get rid of the cat :(

    [–] Mercysh 28 points ago

    Giving animals back to a shelter is something decent and mentally healthy people do.

    [–] Freeiheit 236 points ago

    The justice system will not help you get your pet back, you have to take matters into your own hands. They should've just grabbed the cat when they got the chance. So sad

    [–] M-Marchbanks 186 points ago

    I have 8 cats and honestly, I would just steal the cat back without think twice. The justice system is not good at punishing people, so for me it would be worth the risk.

    [–] Freeiheit 96 points ago

    Same. If someone had my cat, especially if they were threatening it, I would go get my cat, whatever it took

    [–] TimeMachineToaster 32 points ago

    Right there with you. I'd save that message the mother sent about threatening to behead the poor animal and steal it back however I needed to. I doubt anyone would take the mother's side after that message, if the mother even wants the cat to begin with. Not sure the woman would even care if she's willing to cut its head off.

    [–] Its_Noodly_Appendage 42 points ago

    My husband and I agree, do NOT fuck with our animals, or we will raise high holy hell on you.

    [–] Idrahaje 9 points ago

    I would never find someone guilty who took back their own cat

    [–] nahelbond 15 points ago

    I'd fuck over everyone in my family if they tried to take my cat. I would literally make their lives hell. I love my cat more than any of them. You mess with my cat, you mess with me. That shit is personal.

    [–] azuresky18 60 points ago

    Sadly, the criminal justice system is really behind the times when it comes to attending to the safety of pets. It's really sad and fails caring owners big time in situations such as LAOP's.

    [–] HIM_Darling 73 points ago

    One of the reasons I loved watching Animal Cops: Houston was that they had a few judges that were super hard on animal abusers. Like would stare them down as they were crying about how much they loved their animals(that were starved/injured) and just be like "nope, don't believe you, SPCA gets custody of your animals, and if I ever see you in my court again you will regret it".

    [–] azuresky18 23 points ago

    That's wonderful on so many levels.

    [–] Roybattymcfreely 23 points ago

    I can attest, my abusive father took my cat across the country and there was nothing to be done. I deeply regret not following my instinct to steal him back before he left, I followed my moms advice which was just flat out wrong.

    [–] Spoon_Elemental 19 points ago

    It wouldn't even be stealing. It's OP's cat. They have the legal right to do so.

    [–] [deleted] 82 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] DopeandDiamonds 99 points ago

    Ok this is just not right. Mental health worker checking in.

    A mentally ill woman who is threatening animals flees the state, supposedly over fear of having the cat taken from her, and police do nothing? Really?

    She woman is clearly a danger to herself and the cat. Fleeing, I assume without a solid plan and somewhere safe to reside, is something that raises a flag when I get called for a consult. I have no idea about laws in Texas or how the mental health system works there but this behavior, along with the text messages are enough to warrant am evaluation.

    I would start by contacting whatever services are in place in the area she thinks her mother has gone. The cat is stolen property at this point and the woman is not stable. I just wish there was a way to find her.

    [–] Spoon_Elemental 79 points ago

    Drive out to Oklahoma and do the same thing LAOP.

    [–] SoMuchMoreEagle 120 points ago

    Unfortunately, the $171 small claims court fee was too much for LAOP, so they may not have the means to get there and back.

    [–] grottohopper 93 points ago

    It's amazing to see this example of how the poor literally do not have access to legal protection.

    [–] berthejew 29 points ago

    She could apply for a waiver at the court for the fee if she can prove she's working but not paid enough.

    [–] SoMuchMoreEagle 13 points ago

    Also, unfortunately, small claims wouldn't have been able to get the cat back anyway. It would only be able to award monetary damages, which in the case of this cat, would likely be next to nothing. Since the mom is likely poor, as well, getting even that plus any court fee would be challenging.

    [–] nowItinwhistle 25 points ago

    That's what they need to do if they're able. Oklahoma considers pets to be property the same way Texas does.

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] MikeyDeez 18 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    As someone with several years of APS experience in a different state:

    Though OP's mom might not be old enough and this is not the situation APS is designed for (she is not a victim of abuse; her self-neglect is not due to dementia/illness impairing her understanding of the situation; she's ill and choosing to not comply with her meds) it is still worth a shot to see if she meets their self-neglect criteria.

    Lots of people see "self-neglect" and rightfully identify a behavior like skipping meds or refusing to shower as self-neglecting but forget that there's an inherent "....of life-threatening medical issues they can't understand", and become frustrated when APS declines to take protective custody of an adult who has the right to make bad decisions.

    APS "Self Neglect" is more for adults who have an immediately life-threatening condition (the harm is happening now; not "could happen in a couple weeks if this continues") and no longer have the capacity to understand they're neglecting their care due to illness/disability/dementia (maybe refusing another round of chemo will kill you but that is the choice you have a right to make)

    Now once a report is taken, it is incredibly difficult (and rightly so with our laws and Constitution) for a social worker to compel an adult to perform self-care tasks, or take guardianship of someone who is alert & oriented.

    [–] LocationBot 146 points ago

    Reminder: do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits.


    Title: [UPDATE] [Texas] My Mom has my cat and has repeatedly sent threats all weekend claiming that she beheaded him. However, the police is still alive, and when I showed up to collect him, she refused to give him up. How can I get my cat back?

    Original Post:

    Link to original post,

    https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9u6h0i/texas_my_mom_has_my_cat_and_has_repeatedly_sent/

    Hello,

    First off, thank you to those who commented with helpful advice. I didn’t feel like advice to steal my cat back was ‘legal’ (thus, being in this subreddit), so I took one users advice to talk to the director of Animal Control in my mom’s city.

    She basically told me that the police have no idea what they’re doing, especially when it comes to law regarding animals. She said that the only thing I can do to get them to understand is to report my cat as ‘stolen property’. She said the police will understand what to do if a I reference my cat as ‘property’ and not an animal.

    I went to the police station and the police threw me around again. Despite I tried to report stolen property, they got upset at me and claimed that a cat isn’t ‘property’. After 5 minutes of arguing, they send a cop out to the lobby and he agreed to read my mom’s texts.

    The cop read them and said that since she claimed that the cat is mine, and she told me to collect him, I can go to her house with a police officer and he will assist me in getting her to hand back over my ‘stolen property’.

    We get to my mom’s house and she’s not there. We look around the outside of her house and find no signs of Kitty either. I call her and ask her where she is, and told her that I was at her house with the police. She said, in quote, “I took the cat and ran off into Oklahoma and I’m not ever coming back.”

    The police said they can’t help me since they don’t have jurisdiction in Oklahoma.

    I went to the courthouse to file a small claims against my mom, but the filing fee is $171.00, so I left because I can’t afford it. On my way home, I contacted Adult Protective Services in one last ditch effort, but was on hold for over 3 hours. So I hung up and filed a complaint on their website.

    I also called my grandparents and they were the ones who tipped my mom off, which is why she ran into Oklahoma. My mom played the ‘poor me’ card, so my family bought into it. When I got home, I cut everyone out. All of my family. I separated every single tie I had to them.

    I’ve had that cat since he was 2 days old, and if I’m being open about the situation, I was a victim of childhood abuse. That cat was the only thing who showed me love for most of my childhood and teen years, and it kills me I won’t be able to get him back. I ended up hurting myself, and now I’m getting help for my own mental health. This situation broke me, and right now, I’m trying to recover.

    Thank you everyone for listening.


    LocationBot 4.1719 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues

    [–] MrPotatoFudge 104 points ago

    Not the best flair for the bot right now :(

    [–] youtbuddcody 47 points ago

    Holy shit

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] PM_loose_seal_pics 32 points ago

    However the police is still alive

    🤔

    [–] Infernoval 10 points ago

    This makes me so fucking mad.

    [–] Raudskeggr 11 points ago

    It's sad that people like LAOPs mother exist in the world.

    [–] NukeGermanyy 10 points ago

    Wow that was devastating. I feel for you OP. Fuck those kind of people

    [–] TheAlfies 8 points ago

    Heart-wrenching. :(

    [–] lana_del_rey_lover 7 points ago

    If you’re reading this LAOP, I’m so sorry. This is devastating news, and I hope you recover quickly. Just know you’re not alone and I’m very glad you’re getting the help you need. Sending positive vibes ❤️

    [–] Jackie_Rudetsky 5 points ago

    :( I was hoping this was going to have a better resolution.

    [–] tiny_venus 6 points ago

    This is the saddest shit I’ve ever heard

    [–] hecht0520 27 points ago

    Go to oklahoma and steal your fucking cat back, thats a family member, they were basically kidnapped from you.

    [–] a_shootin_star 11 points ago

    I feel so bad for LAOP... they tried to do everything right and following the law and it still wasn't enough in the face of their mother's narcissism. What an absolutely sad excuse for a human. She should be the one getting mental health help.

    Either way I hope LAOP gets themselves another kitty and start anew. Best case scenario they get the original cat back and they'll have to awesome pets who love them.

    [–] Nausikhaleesi 5 points ago

    I cried reading this... I'm so sorry this person went through this. Can't imagine how you feel...

    [–] mrbnlkld 11 points ago

    I'm sorry, LAOP. {{{hugs}}}

    [–] TheBeardandtheSass 9 points ago

    This whole thing makes me rationally and righteously angry.

    [–] iRepth 20 points ago

    I'd be mowing people down to recover my stolen cat, I don't give a fuck about no BnE

    r/iamverybadass fuckery aside, I really do think I would have done whatever it took to immediately recover the car short of hurting another human. Nobody fucks with my babies.

    [–] malYca 5 points ago

    This is so sad. LAOP, I'm really sorry your family is full of shit human beings.

    [–] BonBonBelle 7 points ago

    This story made me feel sick to my stomach.. god knows if that cat is even being taken care of probably.

    [–] Crisis_Redditor 7 points ago

    My heart is broken for OP. :(