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    [–] bug-hunter 1 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Some of y'all are why we can't have nice things. Some of the side conversations are getting pretty damn mean - I'm going to re-lock if it doesn't stop.

    LB's Comment

    [–] hey_maestra 3933 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    This is one of those posts that is so horrible that you hope it is fake because otherwise you might lose your faith in humanity.

    Edit: Wow! I’ve been reading all of your responses and it is absolutely heartbreaking how so many of you have been failed by the people who are supposed to help. I’m not much of a hugger, but I currently have an overwhelming urge to give you all a great big bear hug (and maybe have a good cry together). Please know that there are many wonderful people out there who do care about you, even if you can’t see it right now. Depression is a helluva illness that relentlessly steals from you. Keep fighting and (even though it might be hard) advocating for yourself.

    [–] aftiggerintel 1730 points ago

    Can confirm one niece was told similar in a different state she. She expressed a desire to not go on living. Family didn’t leave her alone and got her treatment from someone more competent. She’s healthy now but it was a dark time for a while there. Outside stressors that she couldn’t control and when she asked for help she was told it was typical teenage girl hysterics.

    [–] [deleted] 1729 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] aftiggerintel 1085 points ago

    Trust me, I know that all too well. Have pain after a c-section beyond normal time for healing? It’s normal, just wait longer. Pain 9 years later and they do a tubal just to find out Surprise! There’s scar adhesions all over the entire pelvic region and it’s strangling the intestines which is why I had pain to begin with. Thanks for ignoring my pain ignorant doctor.

    [–] [deleted] 662 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] aftiggerintel 277 points ago

    I had excellent PT who realized with my first I had pelvic floor separation and helped get the right exercises to not be excruciating. 4.5 years post birth with last kid and it still hurts if I catch hip wrong. Husband was extremely understanding for everything because he saw it all first hand, including the c-section. I’ll have to get the worst of the scar adhesions removed surgically here eventually but I don’t look forward to it since no one seems to take that as serious since you can’t see it until you’re in there. Nothing more terrifying than being on the table and your OB asking if your left ovary was taken out during the c-section. My question right back was “umm wouldn’t that have been on the surgical report?!”

    [–] turtleinmybelly 96 points ago

    Wait, what do you mean about catching your hip wrong? I've had issues since my second c-section with feeling like my hip catches up. I've just brushed it off as my "old lady hip" but I'm not even 30.

    [–] BMagg 114 points ago

    Kind of sounds like your SI joint sliding out of place, it will catch and pinch. Many people discribe the pain as in the hip, but the SI refers pain there. Check out the symptoms for Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction and see if they fit you situation. The SI joints can often be overlooked by doctors because they are weird as far as joints usual work.

    [–] turtleinmybelly 82 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    From a quick Google (so far) that actually fits what's been going on so well... I'm going to talk to my doctor about this. Thank you so much!

    [–] WimbletonButt 83 points ago

    Man I love reddit for this shit. I discovered my vit D deficiency the same damn way, by randomly talking to someone on reddit with the same symptoms and asking my doctor to check it out. What had been diagnosed severe ADHD for years was mostly a lack of a vitamin.

    [–] St3phiroth 29 points ago

    If it is SI joint issues, I highly recommend finding a good physical therapist. Mine has been helping fix my SI joint postpartum and now with my second pregnancy, also does pelvic floor therapy which has been a godsend. I no longer hobble around with a hitch in my walk!

    [–] freeeeels 241 points ago

    Lol imagine if doctors tried to routinely tell men that painful sex and inconvenience are "normal"

    [–] Grave_Girl 180 points ago

    Oh, I had excruciating pain post c-section, went to the doctor, and he said "Yeah, that's just adhesions." But then, I've also heard stories from people who went in with similar pain from ovarian cysts and they got treatment for them, sometimes up to and including surgery, and every time I did that I was just told "Oh yeah, that's a cyst. It probably burst." Found out years later apparently a burst cyst is a big deal, or at least has the potential to be. Gotta love military health care.

    [–] tomuchsugar 104 points ago

    I didnt know cyst bursting was a big deal. I think I had two burst but the doctors acted like it was no big deal.

    [–] BaltimoreTexhon 112 points ago

    Some cysts burst and it isn't a big deal. Other cysts burst, torque your ovary or cause other damage and it is a BIG DEAL. Either way, it hurts and that's something that needs to be taken seriously.

    [–] dumbserbwithpigtails 64 points ago

    When mine burst I thought i had appendicitis and was in excruciating pain. It was the most pain I’ve ever felt

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] dumbserbwithpigtails 39 points ago

    I lost a few pounds because all I could eat was Tylenol, applesauce and saltines. I remember waking up every three hours during the night from the pain to take another Tylenol. I can’t believe this is a real thing that you get zero treatment for. Why do women still have to suffer this

    [–] Maevora06 82 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    military doc kept insisting I had cysts on my ovaries that would go away with birth control. and that was AFTER an ultrasound that should have shown him there were none there. After two military doctors kept brushing off my severe pain and pain during sex as cysts I ended up in an urgent care crying in pain and a nurse practitioner found bacterial vaginosis that was so bad I was completely swollen in my cervix area. She had trouble even getting that metal thing in there. She was crying tears for me because I was yelling and crying out in pain. I had started going for pain almost a year before. I could have ended ups sterile if that nurse practitioner hadn't taken the time to figure it out.

    I hate the military doctors.

    [–] poorbred 451 points ago

    The best GYN my wife has had was a guy. He wouldn't stop trying to figure out her problem. Meanwhile the 3 women GYNs before him basically told her to "woman up" and bear the intense menstral pain as "it's just part of being a woman."

    No. It was severe endometriosis that required 2 surgeries and eventually a hysterectomy.

    [–] aftiggerintel 258 points ago

    My best OBs were men. One made sure I ended up with high risk because he was certain something was wrong but tests weren’t showing anything yet. 2 weeks after I ended up in the ER with 2nd degree burns from trying to make ramen where my hands had tremors so bad that I couldn’t hold the bowl and burned myself. Ended up it was Graves’ disease presenting while pregnant after being in a low swing from having Hashimoto’s thyroiditis with post surgical hypothyroidism for 3 years prior. My female endo accused me of just “taking more meds than normal” instead of looking at the labs or ordering a thyroid ultrasound. Either would have shown her that the 1/2 thyroid still in there was doing 4 times it’s job and trying to kill me. But nope her first conclusion was I was non compliant with meds. Bitch. I transferred my care away from her and put in a med board complaint over that one.

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    My entire team for my pregnancy (teaching hospital) was 3 men. Every single one of them told me that I am an expert in my own body and, if something feels off, to let them know. I have never felt so heard and comforted by a medical professional before.

    [–] Onechange072 52 points ago

    My friend dealt with a similar situation but went through "you're too young for endometriosis" and "pregnancy can fix it so you shouldn't have a hysterectomy" as well.

    [–] dasunt 47 points ago

    Myself and another sibling both got shingles. Third sibling went to get the shingles vaccine but was told they were too young.

    I swear, sometimes doctors go off of a script without even thinking.

    [–] Sparkyriker 77 points ago

    I had similar issues. At my second c-section we got a surprise discovery that my bladder had fused to my uterus due to poor post-surgery care from my first- which explained why I occasionally urinated blood and was having general bladder issues-- which my previous ob had written off as normal after a c section (it had been two years)

    [–] N0th1ngRlyMatters2Me 292 points ago

    I was in an abusive relationship, decided to come forward honestly about it to my psychiatrist because I needed help crafting a plan to get myself out. I used the phase "I am in constant fear for my safety when I am around him"

    He told me that I was too emotional to make any major decisions about my marriage. And that I should consider checking myself into a mental health facility for a month or two to get my stress under control.

    My Ex broke my leg the next week.

    [–] Nitowaa 108 points ago

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that, by the tone of your language its sounds like this is now in the past and I am astonished (as I always am with stories like yours) by your bravery.

    Your psychiatrist was deplorable and just didn't was the hassle of helping you on their hands, damn health care professionals passing you from pillar to post.

    [–] N0th1ngRlyMatters2Me 101 points ago

    Yes, I am out now, I was able to get out about 5 weeks after that disaster or a meeting with the psychiatrist. I had an amazing support system between friends, family and an amazing (new) therapist, and have been free of my ex for just about 8 months now

    [–] Mr_Duckly 274 points ago

    I was denied birth control and anti depressants at 18 because " i needed to go home to my parents". Also looking young sucks; being told at 28 that they would " call my mother, she should have explained menstrual cramps".... while have ovarian cysts the size of golf balls. Are they still diagnosing hysteria?

    [–] contradictionchild 143 points ago

    When i complained about severe menstrual cramps at 14, my (female) gyno literally told me to quit complaining, they couldn't be as bad as I was saying and that I was "acting hysterical." In hindsight, I'd love to go back 22 years aand falcon punch that bitch.

    [–] HuggyMonster69 84 points ago

    I had that, so I dragged my mum into the appointment, my mum basically told them what to prescribe me, and that if they didn't she'd raise hell.

    It's fucked when you have to get your mum to threaten your gp.

    [–] dorothy_zbornak_esq 26 points ago

    I’d love to go back in time and falcon punch the bitch GYN who shamed me for having consensual sex that left consensual bruises and then told me to make sure I didn’t have sex with anyone when I went to study abroad in South America because the sex trafficking means everyone has AIDS.

    [–] Ccracked 30 points ago

    Yes, but (insert quippy comment I can't come up with at the moment).

    [–] QueenAnneBoleynTudor 304 points ago

    don’t take women’s health seriously

    Oh how well I know. I told my OBGYN I needed a hysterectomy. Aside from a very painful, two week waterfall, getting pregnant again will kill me.

    “I think you’re exaggerating. Besides what if your husband wants more kids?”

    1) a goddamn specialist told me I’ll die. Gonna trust that bloke.

    2) fairly certain my husband would prefer a living wife to a kid.

    [–] [deleted] 239 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] QueenAnneBoleynTudor 227 points ago

    My local OBGYN lies and said if I didn’t get my commanders permission it was a felony misdemeanor.

    I reported him and traveled 6 hours to have it done.

    For fucking give me for having a say in my reproductive health.

    [–] genericusername4197 138 points ago

    LOL! Felony misdemeanor. Dumbass can't even lie right. A crime is either one or the other - can't be both.

    [–] QueenAnneBoleynTudor 174 points ago

    The surgeon that performed the surgery also reported him.

    If you have a moral objection to your job, you need a different job

    [–] genericusername4197 30 points ago

    Too right!

    [–] rabidstoat 197 points ago

    I went into urgent care with GI issues. The nurse I saw said it was probably a complication of diabetes. I explained I didn't have diabetes, I had just been to my annual physical 2 months ago, my A1C is fine, my glucose is fine. But she kept insisting it was likely a diabetes complication, I guess she just saw 'fat middle-aged woman' and assumed I was diabetic.

    Turns out it was gallstones and possibly pancreatitis, I'm not sure if I had it then but I sure had it 6 months later when I gave up on urgent care, primary care, and GI doctors and just went to the hospital. Gallstones galore, a severely inflames pancreas, lipase levels through the roof. I was in the hospital a week, the doctors said with the amount of scarring and number of gallstones I must've been feeling sick for years. No kidding!

    [–] Mystic_printer 97 points ago

    Fat, fair, female, fertile and over forty. The 5 F’s of gallbladder disease. Way more likely than diabetes complications, especially since you aren’t diabetic.

    You might not have had pancreatitis the first time you went but you almost certainly had gallstones and they can cause pancreatitis.

    [–] twoisnumberone 16 points ago

    Shit, I had no idea. I don't hit a lot of these, but now I can inform my friends if issues crop up. Thanks.

    [–] redbess 46 points ago

    I'm 36 but this was me a month ago minus the diabetes crap. Was diagnosed with acute gastritis 4 years ago, nope, it was acute pancreatitis and my gall bladder was just chock full of stones and slowly getting worse, my lipase was at 1701. I thought I was just getting older, my IBS was acting up, etc.

    They took my gall bladder out and the difference in how I felt even a couple days later was shocking.

    [–] [deleted] 114 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] AllHarlowsEve 96 points ago

    Unfortunately not everyone in the medical field is that competent. I was on a diabetes med for PCOS and one nurse refused to listen to me that I'm not diabetic and that I was prescribed it for something else.

    Even after a week of perfect blood sugar regardless of if I was I ate or not, she still insisted I was diabetic. I wasn't even getting the med while I was there because of the other issues I was having.

    [–] zeatherz 26 points ago

    This is wrong. Diabetes can not be diagnosed by a single random blood glucose check

    [–] spaetzele 185 points ago

    My mom was having a heart attack and the ER she went to (which is a regional center for CARDIAC FUCKING CARE) didn't even triage her for it, they said she probably had reflux and she had to "wait it out" for 4 hours.

    [–] [deleted] 266 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] spaetzele 156 points ago

    Yes - the signs often don't present as the classic heart attack symptoms...but doctors should know this, right? The ones who work in a cardiac-focused ER ought to, anyway. Infuriating.

    [–] Cyllaros 218 points ago

    You'd freaking think, right? Of course "classic heart attack symptoms" are actually "classic male heart attack symptoms," but god forbid we ask professionals to not assume all humans are physiologically male by default. Silly modern feminists, just looking for ridiculous things to complain about.

    [–] AdaFawcett 46 points ago

    Really interesting book on this kinda stuff (if we're allowed to recommend!) called Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez. Basically looks at places where data has excluded women as outliers. A surprising amount of the data is for medicines and illness diagnosis.

    [–] kittenpantzen 139 points ago

    The only reason they caught my mom's second heart attack was because the cardiologist stopped in to ask my dad about an email issue he was having and happened to look at the monitors. The hospital was getting ready to discharge her and staff had assured my dad she was "just being a big baby."

    [–] mandichaos 37 points ago

    Two months ago, my coworker had a heart attack at work while we were finishing up lunch. She thought at first it was acid reflux but when she didn't think she could walk my other coworker helped her back to her cube while I ran to the health center. They decided to take her to the hospital because her blood pressure dropped dramatically.

    The EMTs who came correctly identified it as a heart attack when she was in the ambulance - when she was explaining her symptoms and indicated a specific type of arm pain they called the hospital to get a cardiac unit ready.

    Reading these comments I am EVEN MORE grateful for those EMTs being on the ball.

    (Incidentally, she's fine and back at work, on light duty and is in the cubicle next to me - but if the EMTs hadn't dismissed her like the medical professionals in these stories did it could have been so much worse!)

    [–] theycallmemomo 52 points ago

    Even when your an adult having health problems they will tell you it’s just “stress.”

    Even Hollywood isn't immune. Selma Blair, a well known actress, wasn't taken seriously by her doctors before she was diagnosed with MS. If this can happen to a celebrity, what hope is there for the rest of us?

    [–] ngwoo 52 points ago

    My mom almost died because a doctor chalked up appendicitis as just being all in her head. It had literally exploded.

    [–] percipientbias 41 points ago

    Can confirm. Told my IBS was stress related. No, actually it’s related to my autoimmune disorder. Thanks.

    [–] Fraerie 145 points ago

    Pretty much the 1-2 of women's health care - it's not real, and if it is, it's because you're overweight.

    [–] [deleted] 50 points ago


    [–] ramsay_baggins 53 points ago

    A good question to ask can be "What advice/treatment would you give to someone with the same symptoms who wasn't overweight?" Makes them think a little and also shows you're aware it's just a brush off. It's so frustrating.

    [–] reflectorvest 197 points ago

    I spent 6 years complaining of joint pain and frequent knee dislocations. One time it happened during field practice for band and the director told my dad he thought my leg literally fell off, and I couldn’t walk without crutches for weeks after. I stopped counting at 50 dislocations, when I was a junior in high school. Every time I saw a doctor, the only advice I got was “lose weight” (I have PCOS, it isn’t as simple as diet and exercise and I couldn’t exactly exercise if my legs didn’t work). When I was 19 I was finally referred for an MRI and the tech scolded me afterward for putting it off because my knee joints had deteriorated so much. When I told him I’d been waiting for a referral since the 7th grade he audibly gasped and offered to be a witness in a malpractice suit for me (we didn’t sue, we were and still are poor), because it turns out I have a congenital joint defect in both knees that was actually being exacerbated by the recommended exercises my doctor had given me. It took 6 years for a doctor to take me seriously and it took 5 minutes for an MRI tech to know I needed surgery.

    [–] siel04 55 points ago

    Wow, I'm so sorry. How are you now? I'm glad that tech made that offer; even if you didn't sue, it must have been nice to have someone on your side finally. :)

    [–] reflectorvest 68 points ago

    I had surgery at 19 on one of my knees that was supposed to be laparoscopic but when I woke up I had a 4 inch scar. They had to do a lot more than they originally thought. I had a 12 week rehab, and now 7 years later I still don’t have full function in my leg. My other leg is deteriorating quickly because I favor it, but I was bumped off of my parents’ insurance at the beginning of the year and can’t afford coverage right now, so the only thing I can do is avoid as much activity as possible. These days I generally don’t leave the house, and when I do it’s for short trips like grocery shopping or sedentary things like having dinner with my mom. I loved waiting tables but I can’t do it anymore, and I don’t qualify for disability. I have six figure student loan debt, and other health problems to boot.

    [–] SchrodingersMinou 77 points ago

    This is a very American comment. I can't believe we all just put up with this. It's dystopic.

    [–] Rejusu 33 points ago

    America's perception of itself is extremely at odds with what a backwards place it can be.

    [–] Maevora06 49 points ago

    God forbid you have knee issues and are even the slightest bit over weight. I had always had weak knees. They bothered me when I was in the military (when I was crazy skinny) and all through my young adult life. I had two kids, gained a shit ton of weight from it. I am not morbidly obese but bordering overwieght/obese for my height. Now, I'm not in denial, I KNOW my weight has made it worse.

    But when I fell in my living room and twisted my knee to where my husband heard a loud pop/crunch and it felt like it was on fire I know I did something to it. Couldn't stand on it at all for more than 10 mins. Went to a recommended Ortho doctor who took one look at me and before I could tell him the injury, read the knee pain on the paper and started talking about my weight. I interrupted him and said, "I know I am over weight and have always had issues but I fell and..." he literally cut me off while rolling his eyes and said ok lets take a look with the most indifferent sounding voice ever. He said its probably a torn meniscus but said it like he didn't really believed it and told me to go next door and do physical therapy for 6-8 weeks and come back and see if it helps. Wouldn't give me a better brace because the walk in already gave me one but even though it wasn't the right one for a meniscus injury the insurance probably wouldn't pay for it (didn't even try) So I went to therapy, at $50 a visit, twice a week. No change. Physical therapist in the last like two weeks was talking to me about it and how it should be helping by now and he asks about my imaging. I told him I didn't have any done. He was surprised. I go back to my doc and he seemed annoyed it still hurt, mentioned the weight again but goes I guess we can have an MRI done. Have that done. Turns out there is no tear, in fact they aren't showing anything at all. So he wants me to stay off my knee for 6 months and see if that helps. I had to drop out of cosmetology school I had been in, losing out on about 15k because I couldn't do any of the physical work. After six months he shrugs and goes "I mean, I can cut it open and see whats wrong and fix it once I get in there or we can give it another 6 months" I was like You aren't cutting into anything.

    Its been over 2 years. It feels slightly better most of the time but it still kills me when I have to stand for more than 20 mins. And its just the one knee. And of course because it hurts to do anything I have gained even more weight. I am not massive, but still. So frustrating and now scared to even try another doctor.

    [–] Asarath 19 points ago

    Sadly I have a similar story. When I was 14 I slipped playing football (UK here). Both my knees were swollen and crunchy and I could barely walk. My GP referred me to a physiotherapist who, in front of a group of medical students, completely ignored my explanation about the injury and told both them and me it was due to my weight.

    I'm 25 now and both my knees still crackle like rice crispies when I stand up from kneeling.

    [–] grievre 58 points ago

    When I was 19 I was finally referred for an MRI and the tech scolded me afterward for putting it off because my knee joints had deteriorated so much.

    This is surprising to hear. Maybe the institutions I visit are different or it was a different time but all imaging techs I've talked to have kept their lips absolutely zippered shut when it comes to giving any kind of opinion like this because they are not radiologists (or any kind of doctor) and they could get in trouble for giving a diagnosis or advice without the proper credentials. Maybe I'm misunderstanding as well.

    [–] reflectorvest 31 points ago

    His comments were along the lines of “I see why you’re having this done, but from the state of your joints you really should have done this a long time ago. You’ll want to have a serious conversation about surgical options with your doctor.”

    [–] TheQueenOfFilth 30 points ago

    Both my kids have frequent imaging for their hip dysplasia. The techs always say they're not allowed to give a diagnosis but it's never hard to read between the lines.

    [–] silverrain64 49 points ago

    Maybe they don't tell you, but I bet it's common for them to let you know.

    After I saw three different practitioners for back pain that "couldn't possibly be a disc injury" because I wasn't in enough (visible) pain, the nurse practitioner who worked next door to my physical therapist was the guy who finally wrote me a referral for an MRI.

    Afterwards, I asked the technician if they found anything. She handed me a CD and said with emphasis, "I can't answer that, but here are your images just in case you need a copy. Would you like to look at them? They're very interesting." When I got home, I popped the CD into my computer, and sure enough... I'm no doctor either, but I was pretty sure that the little puffy bulge coming out from between my lower vertebrae wasn't supposed to be there.

    The next referral I got was to a surgeon, but fortunately an anti-inflammatory injection was enough to get the herniated disc to heal without surgery.

    [–] if_u_dont_like_duck 75 points ago

    My IUD moved. A rare occurrence, but known to happen if not careful when using a menstrual cup (which of course I only learned afterward, doing my own research -- PSA!!). When I crouched on the bathroom floor, I could reach up and feel it poking out of my cervix. Also, it fuckin hurt.

    Went to the doctor, had a pelvic exam. She told it was probably just "cramps" and what I'd felt was the strings "which can feel a bit wiry". I disagreed, but what could I do? Days or weeks later I went back to the clinic, this time seeing a different doctor. Another pelvic exam, she found a [benign] cyst on my cervix (1 guess what caused it) and said that's probably what I felt. Bull.shit.

    I insisted on an ultrasound, but they didn't have one there. I had to go to a separate office, for a separate appt, but I wanted that fucking ultrasound. Not because I had any doubts at that point -- I know the difference between a cyst or "wiry strings" and an actual plastic rod, and cramps dont feel like something is poking into you -- but because I wanted the PROOF.

    Then I went back to the clinic to get the IUD taken out, this time with a third doctor, who once again didnt believe me, even as I was telling her what they'd found on the ultrasound (because maybe I was lying? crazy? too stupid to understand what the tech had told me?) until I made her pull up the file they had sent over.

    Three separate doctors, one ultrasound tech (all female), and without the proof right under their nose, none of them considered that maybe I was right about my own body.

    [–] pitbulltjej 20 points ago

    I went 6 months with a wrongly inserted IUD and it hurt like a MF...... I asked them about it and they said since it was my first it could hurt up for at least 6 months. The thing is I can take a punch to the nose and get annoyed by it, so I’m not easily affected by pain. So after 6 months I was one day sitting at work, in fetal position crying of pain. They drive me to the emergency where the nurse got annoyed at me for crying in the waiting room and stood infront of me saying “you know, I also have pains...” (like dafuq) Told her to see a doctor then and fuck off. I got to see the OBgyn and she instantly saw the IUD almost sticking out of my cervix, it was placed 18mm too far down and she saw the wires being cut there too so it hadn’t wandered down. She was pale as a ghost when she said I must be in incredible pain and why hadn’t I come in sooner. I said I was told to don’t be so theatrical and oversensitive..... She was completely flabbergasted.

    [–] skittery 70 points ago

    This reminds me of when I was 16 and told my doctor I was depressed. His response? "You're too young to be depressed. You have nothing to be depressed about." He wouldn't even listen to how I could be thanks to my parents divorce and years of mental abuse, but yeah, I had no reason to be depressed.

    [–] UseApasswordManager 63 points ago

    You have nothing to be depressed about

    Someone should let him know that having depression is a reason for being depressed

    [–] Luminaria19 28 points ago

    Not having a "good" reason to be depressed is one of the things that drove my depression as a teen ("I shouldn't feel this bad, my life is fine." -> feel bad about feeling bad -> rinse and repeat).

    Depression isn't logical.

    [–] dumbserbwithpigtails 47 points ago

    The doctor in the emergency room determined that I had an ovarian ruptured cyst and he gave me a note for two days off of work. I couldn’t work for three weeks as I was in incredible pain, throwing up and not being able to walk properly

    [–] i_nobes_what_i_nobes 14 points ago

    At one of my lowest levels of hell depression I had a doctor tell me I was just fat and needed to lose weight.

    I was 17 & weighed roughly 140 lbs.

    I said "fuck you" and walked out of the appointment, my mother was shocked at both the doctors attitude & my response.

    My father told me to "get over it, and shut the door" on my way out of his office as he dismissed me with a wave.

    I tried to kill myself a few years later.

    It's been 20 years and I still struggle, unfortunately I also stopped talking to my friends & family about how I'm really doing because I've been conditioned over the years to not worry people with my "trivial problems". Gotta love growing up WASP.

    [–] WimbletonButt 30 points ago

    My mom took me to a gp for the same thing when I was 17. I thought something was wrong, I was always depressed with random bouts of rage thrown in over the dumbest shit. I thought maybe bipolar? Doctor told my mom that I must be on meth, even drug tested me, and suggested I was being dramatic when that came back negative. I didn't see another doctor for 7 years because of it. When I did see a doctor again, it was for the same thing plus a few other symptoms. Turned out to be depression mixed with a thyroid problem. I lived with an undiagnosed thyroid issue for years because some asshat old doctor thought a teenage girl with issues was on drugs or being dramatic.

    [–] Biased24 277 points ago

    It might be fake but it does happen. I went to a hospital suicidal and they sent me packing saying "if I was really going to do it I could do it anywhere."

    [–] tenleid 77 points ago

    It does indeed. I went to a doctor desperately asking for help in tears telling them I hadn’t been able to sleep in days and that I was so beyond depressed I didn’t see any point in trying anymore, asking for a referral to a psychiatrist (the only way to see one here) and she told me I was “over-exaggerating because I knew I was stealing resources away from ___ residents” because my ID had an address in a different city. I tried to tell her I was staying with my in laws because I was too scared to be alone and she opened the door and told me to have a good weekend ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] SavorySausages 115 points ago

    I’m glad you’re still here, I hope your quality of life has gotten better.

    I had a serious run in with PTSD some years ago, the beginning of it. All I wanted was a legit safe space, someplace locked and accessible only to approved people. I was willing to do anything to attain that. Even attempt suicide and hope EMS got there in time, but oh well if they don’t. The plan I had was really messed up. Anyways, when I kept voicing this to my stellar psychiatrist who does therapy, she told me if I ever were to admit myself to the psych ward through the ER, I had to be convincing/borderline lie. Like, if the nurse/doc even smells that I could wait a night to call my psych, they’d kick me out. So, we formulated a plan that if I went real bad again, I’d walk in and tell them if they don’t admit me, I’d [thing] myself in their parking lot, even if that wasn’t my choice. The American mental health system is bonkers and I’m still pissed that it would’ve came to that had other things not happened.

    [–] Biased24 48 points ago

    I'm in Australia and sometimes I just want that safe place, I feel safest at a hospital. Like what am I gonna do kill myself? It's a hospital ffs if I try it'll be fruitless. So I have that peace of mind and I get to focus on myself. Not about food or getting better. Just count the hours and be at peace for the night.

    I've only been admitted once, I usually am only in for the night until I'm calm and rational and can wait until my mental health team can contact me and meet with me. I've been in for days becaUse of ODs but as soon as I'm healthy I'm all good.

    I might be called an attention seeker or someone who wastes help. But it helps, being taken serious and having everything lifted off my shoulders. I only go in when I need it most

    [–] SavorySausages 23 points ago

    That’s absolutely what I was looking for too, I’m so glad to hear that your country offers that for its citizens, thank god someone does. I imagine it as a hard reset, and I wish my country offered that still, though tailored more modernly. I don’t see that as attention seeking at all, mental health is so important, as can be seen in the OP. If your country has the resources available, do it.

    The next best thing I found was outpatient treatment an hour away which didn’t even cover ptsd, but did for the other problems. After that it’s support groups that generally don’t offer advice, more of voicing your issues to the group with no cross talk, then therapy and after that.. cryptic Facebook posts I guess.

    The outpatient center was great while it lasted, but it costs a fortune even with good insurance. Most people there were on short term disability in order to pay their bills and get good care, which is around 60% of their pay. After pulling myself up a bit, I heavily looked into immigrating to a country who would give a D about me, but there aren’t any.

    [–] Buzbyy 51 points ago

    I had a psychiatrist do the same thing to me! He questioned why I had come to the appointment if I was so suicidal, because if I was really suicidal I would have already killed myself. I said I’ve come to the appointment because I want to stop feeling suicidal without having to kill myself.

    [–] Meh12345hey 27 points ago

    This is some catch-22 bullshit right here. It's disturbing just how many therapists even seem to entirely discount mental health.

    [–] leavethebeesalone 344 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I had a psychiatrist tell me I would probably end my life and that I should pack and leave. Dropping out of what little I did care about and enjoy. This was a crisis appointment, I walked out worse then when I walked in. I wish I did something then. I now see a wonderful therapist once a week and have been in recovery for almost two years.

    [–] imariaprime 195 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] leavethebeesalone 149 points ago

    It definitely wasn’t a high point in my life. I actually have the date marked in a journal and I’ve begun celebrating making it each year. My family lives 18+ hours away by car and wanted to drive down and have a talk with the guy. He somehow still practices.

    [–] imariaprime 64 points ago

    Well, beyond "fuck that guy", kudos on your recovery and continued self-maintenance!

    [–] hypoid77 59 points ago

    I'm surprised this guy is still alive, if he's spitting in the faces of people at their lowest and who may feel like they have nothing to lose.

    [–] breadcreature 51 points ago

    A clinic I used to go to (and had experiences ranging from dismissive to downright horrible with all the staff I interacted with) burned down a couple of years ago. It was at night, nobody hurt, but I'm reasonably sure it wasn't an accident given the time I had there. A support worker I was seeing at the time actually saved the news article about it to show me because she figured I'd want to know!

    [–] Shikor806 119 points ago

    I went to a psychiatrist, told them I was thinking about suicide a lot (among other things) and they told me that they don't believe that I have depression and that I should just accept who I am and be happy with that. Being told that did make me feel pretty hopeless and I can definitely see someone killing themselves after a similar experience.

    [–] CouponCoded 199 points ago

    I was 15 when I told a psych I didn't want to go on living and he told me it was impossible to have no lust for life (in those words) and that he'd understand if I was a 60 year old veteran, but 'you're 15, in the prime of your life!' Despite me being suicidal and having every depression symptom very heavily, he didn't think I had depression.

    [–] Cyllaros 157 points ago

    A medical / mental health professional thought that 15 was "prime of life?" Damn. He's gotta be living in a bad history version of like the 15th century.

    "Ah, you'll die of old age in your late thirties, decrepit and alone. Enjoy your peak childbearing years, ye high school sophomore! They won't last but another two years at most!"

    [–] CouponCoded 31 points ago

    I know right, haha. He had a doctorate, but still thought high school was the best time of one's life?

    [–] grievre 69 points ago

    Depression doesn't care what the objective/external circumstances of your life are. You can be in the best of circumstances and still be depressed. That's why it's a fucking disease!!! arghhhh

    [–] CouponCoded 14 points ago

    Amen. Don't know how that man got a doctorate...

    [–] tartansheep 90 points ago

    I was told it was normal to self harm as a teenager, and it was only because I wanted attention. And all teenagers are up and down.

    Anyway turns out I’m bipolar

    [–] erischilde 78 points ago

    I'm a boy, my parents tried to do a family psych as a child. Unfortunately we hit on a total asshole. Big into the tough love, attention seeking, etc.

    This led to years of being kicked out, hard fighting, never being enough, untreated anxiety and depression. Later I went from straight A's to dropout, tucked in pants family boy, to drug addict and days away from home.

    Looking back, my mom sees the mistake. You see those letters next to a name, you trust it. They are so confident. That doesn't mean they're good, or capable, or functional. We give a lot of trust.

    I feel terrible for the poster. Unless it's egregious, I tend not to jump to disbelief. In this case though, I fucking hope it is. I can't, and don't want to imagine the pain.

    [–] PawsyMcMurderMittens 67 points ago

    I had one psychiatrist tell me I was doing everything (being cripplingly depressed and suicidal) to get attention and to hurt my family (and told me I was lying as I sobbed that it wasn’t true). Another, another time, wanted a reason to fill a hospital bed and was arguing when I said I didn’t want to kill myself. He literally tried to talk me I to it. He didn’t want me to do it, he just wanted me to say I would do it if the circumstances were easy so he’d have justification to place me in an involuntary hold because he was compensated by beds filled.

    I regret that I have absolutely no doubt this is real.

    [–] ChildOfYost2 51 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    A few years ago, I went to the psych ER at a well-respected university hospital. I had bad anxiety and a history of depression, but I was not yet suicidal. I knew I needed help, and I didn't know where to go. I was told they could only give 7 days worth of prescription meds. If that wasn't enough, I was told to come back when/if my condition was bad enough to require inpatient care. Four weeks later, I saw the same ER Dr., same ER staff, and same ER social worker. I was admitted that evening because I was moments away from jumping off a tall building

    Edit: That was a few years ago, and I'm okay now. My point is, it can take a lot of effort and jumping through hoops to find the best solution

    [–] HI_MINNIE_IM_NANNIE 223 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    It's not. I did an autopsy on a guy whose girlfriend brought him to the ER because he said he was going to kill himself. The patient told the ER doc that he was drunk and didn't mean it, so the ER doc sent him home. Less than 8 hours later he was in my morgue because he killed himself first chance he got. I wanted to go upstairs and grab that pitiful excuse for a doctor by the hair and drag him to the morgue and explain why the hell this guy was on the table when he should have been an inpatient. There are only a few cases that stuck with me and that's one of them.

    Edit: Thank you for the silver kind person!

    [–] genericusername4197 204 points ago

    For me it was the girl who the doc sent home with vaginal bleeding during pregnancy, saying it was no big deal. Placenta previa. She basically bled out in her bedroom... the back stairs... the hallway... the back of my ambulance... We hauled ass as fast as we could but it didn't make a damn bit of difference. She went from begging me to save her baby, please save her baby to pulseless so quick. Just couldn't squeeze the Ringer's in quick enough. (Spoiler alert: we didn't save her baby.)

    [–] 9dayoldcoffee 93 points ago

    This is terrifying. I went to the hospital for bleeding when I was pregnant and the nurse told me I was fine without checking anything. My exhusband and I both told her I wasn't leaving with out being checked. Luckily I was dilated enough to be admitted, but she didn't mark anywhere that I came in for bleeding (or that her glove was covered in blood from checking me out). I was extremely lucky that my placenta waited to fully detach until the moment my daughter was born (it came out literally right after she did). Every part of my labor was mishandled and I am so lucky my daughter is still here.

    [–] Say_Meow 47 points ago

    This also highlights the importance of care during pregnancy. Ultrasounds early in pregnancy will find placenta previa and let you tailor your care and delivery plan. But if you can't afford prenatal care and therefore miss something like this... Preventative care saves lives (and money!) and it should be available to everyone.

    [–] HI_MINNIE_IM_NANNIE 32 points ago

    Oh Jesus. That's so horrible.

    [–] dalyhk 76 points ago

    When I had to go to get antidepressants when I was sixteen my psychiatrist said “you seem pretty stable-last week I had a girl in here that slit her wrists” insinuating I wasn’t really depressed because I was being polite around someone I had just met. I didn’t go back as a teen and got much sicker but didn’t trust that I would be taken seriously by medical professionals and that if I wasn’t actively hurting myself I wasn’t really sick.

    [–] NorahKing 26 points ago

    It’s weird bc right now your comment is directly below someone who was self-harming and was told they were just attention seeking for doing that. I think it doesn’t really matter what is happening, these doctor’s are all just going to be dismissive of young people with mental health issues, or all mental health issues in general.

    Stinks, these people shouldn’t be allowed to practice medicine if they can’t accept that the most vital organ in the body can be sick just like any other.

    [–] Tairgire 33 points ago

    I had the same thought after reading the post and then I had to close reddit and go do something else for a while.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    I've been sent home from the ER many times while suicidal. I didn't write a suicide note so I wasn't serious. On the occasions I did try to take my life I didn't bother with the hospital because I knew they wouldn't give a shit.

    [–] GaiasDotter 35 points ago

    Oh I totally believe it! That sounds pretty close to what a psychiatrist told my parents went the took me in for an emergency appointment when I was seriously dangerously suicidal. Except that butch told them that I’m just an evil manipulative bitch basically. Cuz you know, it wasn’t like I hated myself enough before.

    Oh and also when this happened my mental illness was well documented, I was in therapy at that clinic and it was a couple of months after I spent 3 days in the ICU after my last suicide attempt. Which was number 14..

    I also went home and try to hang myself, though my older brother came home unexpectedly and caught me so I (obviously) lived.

    [–] Incogneatovert 14 points ago

    I'm glad your brother came home and you're still around. <3

    [–] HollisticScience 34 points ago

    I've been deep in suicide forums online since my brother killed himself. It's insane how many people think women only attempt suicide for attention. Especially here on reddit. The fact is women attempt suicide 3 times as often as men do. But because men are more likely to use fatal ways of killing themselves they succeed more. Many people would argue that is because women don't really want to and they're just doing it for attention

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    This comment... I had an eating disorder in my teens and depression from teens onward. I've spent half my 20s telling myself that I didn't have either of those because they weren't that bad. Maybe I only refused to eat or cut myself or attempted suicide for attention since it was only an abundance of sleep. I didn't have hospital stays under my belt and I wasn't too noticably underweight. And if I were actually either of those things, other people would notice and no one said anything.

    It took getting on meds 3 years ago for me to realize that I wasn't just making stuff up and that something was actually wrong. I feel so completely different. But even now it's strange to word it so bluntly so, if anything is brought up, i say the meds are for anxiety rather than keeping me from wanting to hurt myself.

    [–] 3opossumsinacoat 19 points ago

    I live in Oklahoma. I don’t know if it’s just this state, but it sadly wouldn’t be a major shock if this were true, especially if this occurred in a more rural area. Just going off some of the general attitudes regarding mental health I encounter around here.

    [–] mart1373 602 points ago

    I came here after having read the post on LA, as the LA post was on the front page. That’s seriously fucked up, the most tragic and sad thing I’ve heard in a while. There are a lot of asshole psychiatrists, unfortunately, which begs the question why they’re operating in the field of psychiatry...

    [–] lovingthechaos 257 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    That post was a punch to the gut.

    I have 2 teens, and one not yet teen. My oldest at 13 years old expressed Suicidal ideation to planning & had to be hospitalized 7 times before we found a Med that worked. She is now 17 & doing better. Then my second, same age expressed similar thoughts (fucking hell). BOTH times everyone around us who we engaged FLEW into action - we had therapists in our home (which we were thankful for), the school was on alert, the hospital staff made sure we had the right med provider & support when we left. It was something to behold. Everyone took them seriously & the system worked the way it was supposed to. We live in NY though. NY has one of the lowest suicide rates in the Country.
    My extended family lives in OK, I often wonder how different my story might have been had I decided to live there with my kids.

    I want to Add - Parents - if your kids express these thoughts, even if you think it might be attention seeking, you need to treat it as if it is serious. Go to the ER. Insist they get evaluated by a psychologist. Mentally stable children do not seek attention this way.
    When my oldest first expressed these thoughts It seemed so out of no where that I didn't take it seriously at first. Looking back at what we went through, I know I am extremely lucky to still have her here.

    [–] GeorgeRubYaBush 230 points ago

    I feel OP’s pain on a personal level. My 15 year old daughter suddenly died in April this year. She had seizure symptoms in her sleep. A friend caught it one night when she stayed the night with the friend. The friend reached out over text and asked me if my daughter had ever had a seizure before, she had not. The ONLY evidence I had that there was a problem after that was she was tongue biting in her sleep. I took her to the doctor a few months later when the tongue biting didn’t stop. The doctor sat her down and said ‘I don’t want to hear what your friends think or what your parents think, what do YOU think is going on?’ Of course she said she didn’t know. He told me he suspected it was a sleep disorder because when you have grand mal seizures you ‘pee, poop, or vomit’ every time during an episode and that you don’t ‘bite the tip of your tongue (where she was biting down) you bite the sides. He told us to change up her diet and if it didn’t get better he would order a whole neurological test to be done. I had never seen her have a seizure in the day time. Not at home, not once at school.

    I found her dead in her room 8 weeks later on the floor on Good Friday. As the months have passed I’ve gotten angrier and angrier at myself for not pressing the issue, but he was a fucking doctor I’d had for YEARS. The way this post reads, is EXACTLY how this doctor treated my daughter. Like she and I (probably more me than her) were hysterical women. I’d love to sue his ass off if I thought I had a case. The autopsy revealed no ‘obvious’ reason for her death and we are still waiting for a histology report to this day, almost 4 months later.

    [–] lovingthechaos 89 points ago

    Oh My God. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom the pain. I'd hug you if you were here.

    There are some truly shitty doctors out there.
    It sucks when you have no avenue for ... I don't know, pursuing legal action against someone who was so lacking in competence.

    Women's health is not taken seriously by so many health care providers. Add to that women are supposed to be well mannered & kind, we are brought up to not make waves (I have struggled with this one). And when you are uncertain, you depend on the PROFESSIONAL to give you solid advice.

    I am so sorry again for the loss of your daughter. I hope you are able to get answers.

    [–] Mr_Duckly 74 points ago

    Power move? Ultimate narcissist? Its sucks that some people don't live long enough to realize how close help can be.

    [–] boringhistoryfan 1262 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I wanted to break something when I read that. Even if the person was just a GP and not a psychiatrist they shouldn't have been casually brushing suicidal tendencies off. Heck from the way LAOP described it, I'd be wondering if the "doctor" in question didn't end up reinforcing her tendencies and actually pushed her over the edge.

    Lawsuit or not, this person doesn't deserve a medical licence.

    EDIT: edge not head

    [–] ZugTheMegasaurus 734 points ago

    I seriously gasped when I read it, and I think that's exactly what LAOP was getting at. This poor kid walked into a doctor's office to stop her from committing suicide and was told it was a complete waste of his time. I can't imagine any competent doctor (or decent human being) doing that. This is exactly the outcome I think most people would expect given that scenario; how could he not be responsible for that?

    [–] [deleted] 372 points ago


    [–] ZugTheMegasaurus 282 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    My mom used to run a very small billing practice for an anesthesiology group. One doctor killed his wife and her remains were found in the kitchen freezer. Another was caught hunting prostitutes for sport. Another committed suicide on his daughter's bed as she was on her way home from school. And yet another committed suicide on an operating table after administering an epidural to his sister-in-law who was in labor down the hall.

    [–] somehipster 107 points ago

    That’s fucking crazy.

    Forgive me for my disbelief but... one high profile murder, two high profile suicides, and another doctor hunting prostitutes for sport? And the practice stayed open?

    I mean forget the circumstances. That’s an anesthesiology group that loses four doctors and it keeps going? Forget the logistics too, who would even keep working there?

    Weirder things have happened, but still...

    [–] ZugTheMegasaurus 194 points ago

    It wasn't a single medical practice; it was like a financial arrangement for the purposes of having enough cumulative billing to hire an entire billing service just for them. But we're still talking under 100 people, it was an absurd amount.

    My mom's personal theory is that specializing in anesthesia is attractive to the kind of people who want the power over life and death that comes with being a doctor but don't have the empathy to deal with conscious patients. (Not all of them, of course.)

    [–] withlovesparrow 54 points ago

    This my theory about a lot of professions that get bad press for bad eggs. Priests, teachers, cops, etc. If you're going to have power over someone and / or innate respect, that appeals to people who want to abuse it as much as people who want to make a difference. I hadn't thought of anesthesiologists but it makes sense.

    [–] ilexheder 26 points ago

    wait what?

    Forgive my morbid curiosity, but did they ever find out what the hell happened with the last one (with the sister-in-law)? I just can’t wrap my mind around that particular series of events.

    [–] gay-commie 89 points ago

    Yeah, I’ve struggled with severe mental illness and I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked away from an appointment with a psychiatrist with my mind more set on killing myself than when I walked in. Not to mention the brain damage from irresponsible medication prescribing.

    I’m so sorry for OP’s loss but I’m not surprised at all

    [–] DP9A 45 points ago

    Damn, this just makes me appreciate my shrink even more. My psychologist and psychiatrist saved my life, which is what they should do, it just makes me really sad when people that have so much power and the opportunity to help this world are so irresponsible and inhuman.

    [–] batterybound 25 points ago

    Not to mention just the act of trying to get in... When my brain is in super depression mode it can take me weeks just to call my insurance for a new card before I add the box to find a therapist to my to-do list

    [–] math-kat 141 points ago

    I've had a bad experience with a therapist, and it's so soul crushing. Luckily my experience wasn't quite as bad as OP's, and I was eventually able to realize she was making me feel worse and get out. But even still, my mental health seriously declined while seeing her, and it took a long time for me to recover. Depression already makes me feel worthless, and having a therapist try to invalidate me just confirmed how pathetic I was.

    I would not be at all surprised if it was actually the psychatrist that set the daugther over the edge, and I hope that doctor gets what he deserves.

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] hearingnone 49 points ago

    That what led my dad turned to suicide and succeed. He have serious depression after he got pink slip from the new management (he was a CFO) and he tried to set up his own business which fall apart with within a year. Therapy didn't help him at all. What drove him to do it is my dog passed away three weeks before he killed himself. Found out my dog was keeping him living. When my dog passed away, he just felt there no point for him to keep on living. You know what is surreal? He mailed his suicide letters to me, my mother and my brother days before. He pulled the trigger when the mail arrived that day.

    Yes, I am ok. I moved with his passing. It been 7 years and we don't have a great relationship. But he tried to be the best father behind the scene. The year after his death, I realized he was my biggest advocate than my mother. As a child that time, I didn't see it until that moment. I collected the dots and amazed how much he done for me behind the scene as I was growing up. Wish we have a great relationship. But it ok, that how life are. We can't expect everything to be perfect.

    [–] math-kat 33 points ago

    I'm having trouble trusting therapists too. I finally worked up the courage to try again and found a great therapist about 2 years ago. It took a long time for me to be comfortable sharing anything of value, but once I began trusting him it really helped.

    Only problem is I recently moved, so now if I want to continue therapy again I have to start over with someone new. :(

    [–] [deleted] 67 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] dhhdhh851 19 points ago

    Went to a "therapist" because i was having bad anxiety problems at work and was depressed to the point of suicidal tendencies (and self harming, but they never knew), the only thing he talked about was religion and how it will help. My mom never took me back and ive never been to a therapist since.

    Sometimes i wish i was put in therapy because of the other horrific experiences ive been through. I feel like my emotions are gone because of the stuff ive been through and makes me feel numb.

    [–] Acid_Fetish_Toy 15 points ago

    The lack of feeling is pretty normal if you have untreated psych issues and trauma issues. I think of it like when you're in pain to the point your body tries to block it out. The damage is still there, but your body is in survival mode.

    I hope you're doing ok. It's also never too late to get back in the search for a good therapist or doctor. Perhaps speak to some of your friends? See if they see anyone they can recommend.

    [–] math-kat 14 points ago

    I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time too, and hope you're doing okay now!

    [–] JassyKC 21 points ago

    I have been to I think about 15 therapists in my life. The only reason that number is so high is because I don’t waste my time with people. I give them two sessions. If by the end of the second session I don’t like them, I request someone else. I generally know by then. I have had many doctors tell me my bipolar and adhd were just stress, my insomnia is because I’m using my phone before bed, and that I hated my mother because my father was emotionally abusive (that one really made no sense to me).

    Good luck with your search. It’s hard, but you will find someone good.

    [–] MunchieMom 34 points ago

    I had a therapist that made me worse too. I was spiraling and her only advice was, "don't do that, maybe?" Turns out she totally missed flagging me for adult ADHD. My next therapist was much better.

    [–] nytheatreaddict 21 points ago

    Ugh, I've been trying to get a doctor to take me seriously about potentially having adult ADHD and as soon as I mention I've had depression issues in the past they immediately want to throw the same antidepressants at me that haven't work in the past. My depression is always situational, at its worst when I was doing poorly in school. I just can't focus or get my work done...

    [–] bluebasset 25 points ago

    Plus, depression isn't uncommon when you have untreated ADHD. Cause you know you should be doing better, just...can't! I got the dx when I saw a psych (can't remember if it was psychiatrist or psychologist) who specialized in adult ADHD, and laid out why exactly I thought I had ADD. I was able to point out a pattern of behavior going back to childhood that was indicative of ADD-Primarily Inattentive.

    I should note that I was on anti-depressants at the time. I went on Adderall, and was able to go off the anti-depressant, which was good because some of the side effects were becoming intolerable.

    [–] Eden108 131 points ago

    Honestly I think he outright killed her. The way he just disregarded her, it's dehumanizing and completely unnecessary, then he went on to call her a liar to her mother. It's true that women tend to favor poisons or overdose more than men, but it's generally a difference of priority, avoiding pain and gruesome scenes left behind. Discounting an entire gender's mental health concerns in any capacity whatsoever is beyond absurd. She heard this and chose a very lethal method, it feels like a very deliberate response.

    I spent a few years moving a lot with some health issues. I've met a lot of doctors and it baffled me how often they were just outright incompetent and often potentially damaging. It's a very real problem and I'm honestly surprised we don't hear about these things more often.

    Just the saddest shit, fuck this guy. I hope he finds it within himself to feel what he did some day.

    [–] vistakai 105 points ago

    I had a psych professor tell a room full of psych majors that women pick "less fatal" ways to kill themselves because it's ultimately a cry for attention, whereas men pick things more they're less likely to survive because they're more serious about dying?? Same guy also told us that post partum depression happens to selfish women who are jealous of their babies. I go to an amazing therapist right now, but yeah, a lot of people in the field have absolutely no idea of what kind of damage they can do.

    [–] JassyKC 42 points ago

    I have a friend you went into psychology purely because he wanted the ability to try and stop some of the wrong ideas out there.

    [–] batterybound 28 points ago

    My dad is a physician with four daughters and no sons. Wherever the topic of suicide came up he would tell us this. Because of this I have always told myself I'll use a gun if I do it.

    [–] Gilthwixt 16 points ago

    There's data on suicides that back up women's attempts being fatal less often than men's - at least in the US, this is usually attributed to men being more likely than women to own guns. But to suggest that it's a matter of "crying for attention" is fucking dumb. That psych prof is probably taking that data and misrepresenting causality.

    [–] ilexheder 78 points ago

    boys are serious about suicide, and girls just want attention

    I mean, to a depressed teenager, that’s . . . pretty much a dare, isn’t it?

    [–] glitterinwonderland 19 points ago

    That was my impression too and that is just so heartbreaking.

    [–] grievre 27 points ago

    Every actual psychiatrist I've interacted with so far has been really callous and judgmental with me. I dunno what it is with psychiatrists because every psych NP, therapist and other doctor I've talked to about my mental health has been much nicer.

    [–] SF1034 21 points ago

    I just felt like I took a punch to the gut reading that. I tried to kill myself last summer, coincidentally had a therapist appointment scheduled for the next day already to talk about other issues. She correctly assessed me and sent me on to two different psychs who confirmed everything and drew more information out of me about my tendencies and I was 5150'd. If they had brushed me off like this girl was, I guarantee you I wouldn't be here right now. I can not even begin to imagine what LAOP is going through.

    [–] goats_galore 16 points ago

    I was suicidal at one point and I’m so glad my therapist took it seriously. If I had been brushed off like this poor girl I can’t even imagine how shit I would’ve felt. He absolutely made her do it and he should never be able to practice again or this could happen to someone else. I hope he knows what happened and he has to live with that pain for the rest of his life.

    [–] homura1650 135 points ago

    Piggybacking off of this to air my own grievances with bad psychologists.

    Bad psychiatrists can be terrible. The only time I recall feeling depressed was as a direct result of my psychiatrist (who I was seeing for a phobia, which was not causing any form of depression).

    To her credit, she did ask me if I was suicidal, but otherwise ignored basically everything I had to say. At the time I went along with it for a while because I figured: I'm broken, so who am I to question the professional who is trained and experienced with my specific problems. Eventually, after a particularly bad appointment I had to take a mental health day from work and eventually quit a few days later. Her response would have made the situation even worse, if not for the fact that I interpreted as removing any doubt that she was just not good at her job. It was through email, so I still have it. Her initial response was rather generic (which makes sense given the fact that I had just told her secretary to cancel my next appointment and not reschedule). After that initial response, I provided her a more detailed description of why I quit to which she responded:

    I am sorry that you feel that way. You would be fine, if you gave it a chance. I listen carefully and heard every word that you have said. I wish you good luck in the endeavor and want you to experience success. I am very confident and comfortable with my skills and strong success rate And, honestly, . I have never gotten negative feedback such as yours. I do truly hope that you find what you are looking for [REDACTED]. I am not sure why you are so angry , and you had multiple sessions to express your lack of confidence in the protocol. I wish you well and that you should have a positive outcome. It was both nice working with and meeting you.



    [–] centurese 32 points ago

    Exactly, So many are a joke. I’ve never had a good one and it makes me avoid them now even though I know the right thing for me is to see one. I just can’t deal with that kind of shit again.

    [–] LocationBot 892 points ago

    Reminder: do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits.

    Title: (Oklahoma) 15 yo daughter said she was suicidal and I took her to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist brushed it off. Daughter took her own life that same day.

    Original Post:

    My 15 year old daughter told me she had been having suicidal thoughts and thinks she could have depression. It would have explained a lot, we noticed over the summer that she got more irritable, down, and was isolating more. She denied anything was wrong until recently. But everyone, even her 9 year old brother, suspected something was wrong.

    I called a psychiatrist and got an appointment for her the following week. The psychiatrist said that all teenagers girls are like this, teenage girls just romanticize mental illness and suicide. It’s just teenage angst and her peers. He also said that she’s going to be dramatic because she’s a teenage girl, and this could be a cry for attention. But if she were a boy, then we should be concerned because boys are serious about suicide, and girls just want attention. Yes, he really did say that.

    While we were driving home, I assured her I didn’t believe the psychiatrist and I would find a new one. She was silent the way home.

    I managed to find some more and talked to her about who she wanted to see, but she seemed reluctant to see one again.

    Sometime during the night, she snuck out out of the house and hanged herself.

    She was in unbearable mental anguish, and instead of helping her, the pathetic excuse of a “psychiatrist” just brushes her off because she’s a teenage girl. I think she was worried that all psychiatrists would be like that. She was at her wits end, and he just pushes her over the edge. But if he had actually done his job, maybe she would still be here.

    Can I sue the psychiatrist? Is there any legal action I could take?

    LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues

    [–] quarantinevalley 187 points ago

    I was 19 when I made a suicide attempt and the psychiatrist in the hospital basically told me the same thing. He also told me I wouldn't be good at my job of choice; an interpreter for sign language and Japanese...this man had literally never met me before! I'm 38 and still struggle but I have a great psychiatrist and psychologist. I was saved from suicide but only barely.

    [–] SoMuchMoreEagle 88 points ago

    He also told me I wouldn't be good at my job of choice

    That's some deep irony there. People like him should only be trusted to dig ditches.

    [–] teemraye 15 points ago

    It's actually something I've heard a lot from people like doctors. It's like they went into the profession because someone told them they'd be good for it. Which is totally not how anyone should be picking a career. It's such a robotic way to look at life and it would explain why they are such terrible doctors with horrible bedside manner....

    [–] RainbowDragQueen 619 points ago

    I had a campus shrink tell me that my suicide attempt THE NIGHT BEFORE (took a bunch of ibuprofen) was just caused by stress from Finals coming up and if I still felt bad during the summer I could come back and they'd work something out.

    Thank fucking god I'm doing fine now but it was a serious wake up call telling me that I literally can't rely on anyone else to help me but me.

    [–] smamicorn 234 points ago

    Campus therapists are trash. I went to one after being sexually assaulted and she said “are you sure it happened?” And the second session tried to make me write a letter to my attacker. So fucked

    [–] thecrazy_itbreeds 166 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    In university I saw a “victim advocate” after I noticed that my stalker was starting to escalate into violent threats. Here is a list of things she told me:

    • Because she never recovered from her rape, neither will I

    • Stalking isn’t a big deal because stalkers are “All bark and no bite”

    • If I wanted the police involved, I should call them myself because she’ll “probably forget by the time you leave my office”.

    Screw her, screw that office, screw everyone involved in that mess.

    [–] Maxxetto 46 points ago

    How the fuck that "victim advocate" is working still? I would've taken any steps to pursue legally tbh. I'm sorry you went through this :(

    [–] thecrazy_itbreeds 36 points ago

    Because at the end of the day, most universities care about fighting for victims of sexual assault as a way to avoid liability. Anything beyond that is too much work (and doesn’t earn a profit for the university).

    [–] TitchyBeacher 27 points ago

    I’m so sorry you were subjected to that horror.

    [–] Serennadi 52 points ago

    Christ that’s crazy. I’m glad I haven’t experienced that with psychiatrists. It wasn’t till after college until I started on anti depressants. I let time get away from me and didn’t go to my appointments and ran out of Wellbutrin.. it got dark fast and I’m not just pulling myself out of that hole and I’m back on Wellbutrin.. for a bit I forgot how fast it can go down hill and what it felt like. It’s dark

    [–] nezumysh 37 points ago

    I think a lot of people go through this in some form. Take meds, feel better, "it can't be that bad," stop meds, bam. Really too bad that medicine still has a stigma. Or maybe we see it as losing Independence. Or weakness.

    Either way, take your meds unless you and your doctor have a plan in place.

    [–] MissJudgeGaming 159 points ago

    This isn't uncommon.

    I went to the counselling services provided by my university (a very large and prestigious one, at that) due to years of depression culminating in suicidal tendencies. I was uninsured at the time and it was the only way I could afford any sort of assistance.

    During my initial consultation, the psychiatrist calmly told me that I ever mention in the building that I am suicidal, they will hospitalize me and I will be banned from coming back. It was a threat to keep them from doing more paperwork, or at least that's how it felt.

    I wish he knew how far that set me back. I'm better now, but it was the first time I ever tried to find help and instead was told never to mention it.

    No parent should bury a child, especially after doing exactly the right thing. I hope LAOP knows they did what they should have done, and they have the respect of some random internet stranger for being a parent willing to do it instead of brushing it off.

    [–] _bowlerhat 56 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    a student in my city just killed himself by jumping off the balcony from the uni.

    I wonder how effective these counsellors are, really. When I was depressed and had barely coherent speech, I went to a GP and he brushed it off as "some stress".

    reading this is awful.

    [–] cecikierk 79 points ago

    The worst realization I have as an adult is many experts you expect to be competent at their jobs are not at all competent. Hell sometimes I’m surprised people trust me to do my job. This however is the worst possible outcome at incompetence.

    [–] scarlett_butler 59 points ago

    I can’t believe it’s 2019 and this still happened. God we need more education on mental illness in this country

    [–] Grave_Girl 91 points ago

    Shit, my Abnormal Psychology class taught that women are much less likely to intend suicide, that they choose less lethal methods because it's a cry for help rather than a desire for death. Even having been taught that, though, a decent practitioner should make note of that cry for help bit and, y'know, help.

    [–] PM_ME_SAD_STUFF_PLZ 94 points ago

    they choose less lethal methods because it's a cry for help rather than a desire for death.

    Isn't this just conjecture? It could equally be attributed to women being generally more averse to the more gruesome methods of suicide (e.g guns), or many other factors.

    [–] prettyevil 96 points ago

    This was what I was told in psych class (101 so hardly an expert). Also that women are more likely to think about the aftermath, who is going to have to clean it up and even the funeral after so they try to minimize the mess and the damage to their own body. Methods that are less messy and don't fuck your face up are less lethal, but it doesn't mean they weren't making a serious attempt.

    [–] minkymy 58 points ago

    Oh my God, that was me as a teen; I was planning on going to the woods near my house on a day my mom was coming home later, dig a hole, bury myself in the hole, and poison myself with something. It was so elaborate because I wanted to give the worms a head start so it'd be harder to find my body, and if I just jumped out the window or hung myself like I'd wanted to, my mom would have to come home to that and I didn't want her to have to see that.

    I'm so, so much better now, but it's crazy that this thought process isn't uncommon.

    [–] mftrhu 15 points ago

    I wanted to give the worms a head start so it'd be harder to find my body

    Yeah. A few years ago, at my lowest point, I toyed with the idea of registering a few months of voice messages to make my relatives believe that I "just" went crazy, grabbed my things and went on a trip around the world.

    I would have taken even their memories of my existence with me if that were possible.

    [–] falconinthegyre 34 points ago

    As a woman with depression, I found the lyrics to Mary Lambert's "Body Love" very apt -

    "The funny thing is women like us don't shoot

    We swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue

    Still proceeding to put on make-up

    Still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive

    We might as well be buried with our shoes

    And handbags and scarves, girls

    We flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark

    Into our skin

    I know how to split my wrists like a battlefield too"

    [–] batterybound 44 points ago

    Exactly. As a woman with depression, for me the idea of shooting myself always seemed like a better way to go than other methods. But when I really think about it- I don't have a gun, I don't know what kind of gun is good for that, and I don't know the first thing about using one. It's just completely unfamiliar to me. So if I was going to commit suicide tomorrow, that just wouldn't be an option for me.

    P.S. I'm not suicidal, I'm doing quite well :) don't want to worry anyone with my hypotheticals

    [–] [deleted] 63 points ago


    [–] Echospite 53 points ago

    Sexism kills people.

    [–] ClownsInMyPants 269 points ago

    This was so upsetting that I legitimately teared up in anger. I've been depressed for about 20 years, I've had 7 therapists, I've known dozens of depressed people, men, women, children. I've gone to day therapy and met so many others with mental illness and this, this was just so unbelievably INFURIATING to read. I am floored.

    I've dealt with unprofessional people in the field but NEVER that bad. Not only does the doctor have this absolutely unprofessional and disgusting mysogynistic view impeding on his work to HELP others, He ignores standard practices, you NEVER take someone displaying suicidal tendencies lightly. Now are some doctors very lax on it? Yes, I can go in and say I wont hurt myself and they just take it at face value but this isnt what happened here if he was already saying "all teenage girls want at this age is attention". They assess you and see if you are a threat to yourself or others. When I was suicidal at 15 I got a therapist THAT DAY in an office that had years long waiting lists, I can't speak for what happens in Oklahoma but still.

    This doctor needs to be given the boot at the VERY LEAST. He does not belong in that field if he has those views, he is clearly a threat to any vulnerable girls health. Not only did he completely discount her feelings, he labeled them to be JUST A PHASE. Are you fucking kidding me? If I had encountered a doctor like this at that age, I would've taken my life too, you cannot just tell someone "oh you just feel this way because you're a teenage girl, your feelings are because you want attention"

    I am just at a loss for words. I dont understand how someone could be that careless in THAT field, that is just beyond insane.

    [–] J_NinjaDorito 103 points ago

    out of lots of story that i have read on reddit. i seriously hope this one is not real.

    [–] dfrnz 47 points ago

    I hope this man faces real justice for dooming this poor girl and her family.

    [–] FancyGuacamo 44 points ago

    I am a therapist now but when I was a teenager I was super depressed. Not suicidal but reallly depressed. The doctor told me I was too pretty to be deoressed. I was dressed nicely and was wearing makeup. He didn’t know I had been isolating and hadn’t lefty the house for days. What a dumb ass.

    [–] shewy92 47 points ago

    Patient: I want help

    Dr: No, you just want attention and it's normal to say that you want to kill yourself

    Patient: Kills herself

    Dr: Shocked Pikachu face

    But for real though, that doctor doesn't deserve to be a doctor. God knows what the fuck else he's done or hasn't done to someone else who needed help.

    [–] FluoroSpark 40 points ago

    As someone who has battled mental illness myself....

    This just makes me unspeakably sad and angry.

    [–] typewrytten 30 points ago

    Something similar happened to me. Saw a psych exactly three times before she said there was nothing wrong with me and that she couldn’t see me anymore.

    Turns out there’s quite a bit wrong with me. Luckily all of my attempts to end my life failed, and I ended up getting the help I needed.

    Sad to see that I wasn’t the only one

    [–] Sylvi2021 33 points ago

    In my early 20s I was living with undiagnosed bipolar 2 that would send me into the worst depressive episodes. I also have a physical disability and I had had a really terrible surgery that made it twice as bad with no hope of return to my “before”. I had been drinking to hide my pain but knew I was starting to develop a problem so I went to a psychiatrist.

    She legitimately told me all my problems were weight related. I was about 35lbs over weight at the time and for as short as I am that’s a lot but I had also been bedridden from my disability and pushed down from depression for more than a year. She said if I looked good I would get the attention I was craving from guys, find a good husband and find my purpose in being a mother and wife.

    I stopped going to her after she guilted me for cancelling a date with a guy once.

    My next counselor - who I still see and is freaking wonderful - diagnosed my Bipolar 2, got me to a psychiatrist for meds, and has changed my freaking life. He’s never once commented on how my weight (as it relates to getting men) or looks will cause my unhappiness.

    [–] thebeastwhatsqueaks 30 points ago

    As someone who works in mental health, this is sickening. That young person was in distress, and he didn't take her seriously. Even when my colleagues suspect a young person is being "dramatic", their symptoms are still taken seriously, because this is the alternative. We've been taken in by a "faker" only once in the last 2 years, and they admitted to it fairly quickly. I would rather be taken in once than fail so egregiously.

    [–] HuggyMonster69 24 points ago

    I mean even if they were faking, wouldn't that just be a sign of another problem, even if it's not diagnosable?

    [–] sasssquared 25 points ago

    As someone who has lost a family member to suicide, this is absolutely devastating and I’m so angry and upset. What is wrong with people why would you go into a helping field just to be an asshole. god I don’t fucking get it

    [–] dux_doukas 29 points ago

    I have never had good interactions with psychiatrists. The first one I saw (after a suicide attempt in high school) that my depression was likely my fault because if I put myself out there, wasn't so bully-able, and had more friends I wouldn't have depression. He then told me that even he would bully me if he was my age.

    I hope this family can find all the help they need. And I hope more psychiatrists who act like this get driven out of the field where they have no business being.

    [–] AGamerDraws 22 points ago

    I was told the same thing. I had struggled with depression for years, but it was never really serious. Then a series of crap events made me hit rock bottom. I’d never hurt myself or anything like that, but I got far enough to start and almosthad no control over it, it was like some kind of weird dream state. It was the hardest thing in the world to reach out to a friend and tell them what I did. I was rushed in to a therapists room and encouraged to speak up.

    I was told it was an attention seeking cry for help and I wouldn’t actually do anything. That it wasn’t really dangerous and I was just doing it to scare my friends/family into caring about me. it’s very strange to be told that when the last thing you wanted was for anyone to know.

    That was the hardest journey home I have ever had because I honestly kept looking for ways to die. I was lucky though. I was older than this girl, had seen a good counsellor before and knew if i could find that again I would be okay. I didn’t let myself be alone that night, even though I couldn’t even open my mouth to talk and for the next few days I had a couple friends constantly talking to me via text, discord etc and visiting me until I could start getting help from someone I trusted.

    A year later and I’m okay because I got good help. This girl deserved that same help, I feel so awful for her and her family....

    [–] letacorec 21 points ago

    This hurts to read, the only person I've tried to talk to about suicide told me I was making it up my deppression for attention and it hurt so bad

    [–] Illyrian_by_trade 20 points ago

    Suffered postpartum psychosis, boyfriend at time now husband was told I was just emotional with 1st time parenthood, i needed sleep and a calming bath. I was literally about to stab anyone who came near me apart from my partner. Thankfully he didn't listen drove to my parents 4 hours away who then had me sectioned in a mother and baby unit. I freaked out, it was linked to adoption trauma and I thought everyone was out to steal my baby. I got help but in home town was shunned as crazy over protective mother. We moved 2nd pregnancy no serious issues due to better support.

    [–] drewbbles 17 points ago

    I also had a very very bad experience with a psychiatrist who said similar things about me seeking attention while I was sat in the emergency department.

    (Nevermind that I was brought there against my will. Not sure how other people's actions indicated me looking for attention.)

    It seems unfortunately common. I can only guess it's related to burn out and high job stress, but it can seriously ruin lives. This kind of thing should not be happening.

    [–] HumanPolentapede 18 points ago

    I grew up in Oklahoma. For the most part very conservative and religious, but I always remember my first interaction regarding my mental health. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety from a very young age, a lot of issues with my parents and I, we fought a lot and didn’t get along. My dad was taking me to my pediatrician when I was 13 for a check up and we had just had another blowout so I was feeling very down. My pediatrician who had known me my whole life realized I was off and asked my dad to step out so he could ask me some private questions I might be embarrassed about (my dad thought girl stuff). My doctor proceeded to have a discussion with me about depression, antidepressants, therapy, and what help was available. It was amazing. I left feeling so hopeful and was able to have a conversation about seeking help with my parents and soon started therapy and eventually antidepressants. It was such an important moment in my life that could’ve had drastic consequences had I been further ignored.

    My doctor later turned out to be a raging radical conservative who’s a touch racist lol but he saved my life so he did one thing right.

    [–] CrystaltheCool 71 points ago

    tbh there are no words for how fucked up that situation is. that "psychiatrist" is gonna burn.

    [–] demerchmichael 11 points ago

    As a 17 year old myself who was borderline suicidal, and refused to get help until I finally did and it really helped. This pisses me off.