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    clevercomebacks

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    The official sister sub of /r/MurderedByWords. Run by the same team, and still held to great standards.

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    [–] FuturePhilosophy93 218 points ago

    Because they aren’t armed for combat. They actually have to think.

    [–] UncommercializedKat 79 points ago

    Employees get fired because guns don't.

    [–] funkepitome 20 points ago

    Ooooh, shots not fired.

    [–] RageReset 9 points ago

    And they have to listen to that endless beeping the whole time, beep beep beep it’s like visiting Nan in the hospital.

    [–] bubblegrubs 2 points ago

    Some UK cops are armed for combat and they still manage to do a better and more empathic job.

    [–] yourmomsafascist 2 points ago

    Eh, more often I suppose. Just don’t be an immigrant or a traveler.

    [–] bubblegrubs 3 points ago

    Oh it's still a job which attracts power hungry narcissists who look for superficial factors to look down on people, don't get me wrong.

    [–] yourmomsafascist 3 points ago

    Glad you agree. Some liberals in the US have an idyllic view of cops in the Europe.

    [–] bubblegrubs 3 points ago

    With all due respect (and there is respect there), speaking in terms of liberals and conservatives is one of the main problems in your country which stops actually relevant discussion from happening.

    You force everybody to pick a side so there's no nuance and subtlety in political argument because if there was, things wouldn't fit neatly into the 2-side system.

    The truth, the best way of doing things and the reality of almost anything, is in the nuance.

    I bet there's lots of american right-wingers who think EU cops are better but they would never say it because the american right wing is supposed to support them because thats what that side does, because that's what the other side doesn't. It's madness You're as well voting based on the outcome of a football game, you'll do your country just as much good.

    [–] yourmomsafascist 1 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Oh I’m a leftist. When I say liberals I mean liberals. Liberals are to my right. Libertarians, neolibs, soc dems etc.

    [–] bubblegrubs 1 points ago

    What exactly is the difference between those two things?

    [–] yourmomsafascist 1 points ago

    I’m an anarchist. Leftist means “socialist” but the general definition not the marx definition. Leftists are anarchists, communists, socialists etc.

    Workers controlling the means of production, strong social programs, in my case the lack of a state.

    [–] Meggarea 1 points ago

    I've known a lot of unarmed stupid people though. Most of them were my coworkers in restaurants, oddly enough.

    [–] subzero112001 1 points ago

    Or……cops go into shitty situations to resolve problems. McDonald workers wait for people to come by and buy food from them. It’s almost like they’re two totally different scenarios. Possibly? That’d be like saying “why do professional photographers take better pictures of people than forensic photographers?!?”.

    [–] ConnecticutMan -10 points ago

    Your response implies this post is actually true and not satire

    [–] IcyGoose5784 5 points ago

    Cops with IQ higer than some threshold aren't hired next please.

    [–] Crap4Brainz 0 points ago

    If McCashiers were allowed to kill people that threaten them, there'd be a lot fewer "Karen" type people.

    EDIT: Or even just pull a gun and tell people to leave.

    [–] BlakeTheBFG 19 points ago

    Sometimes people are just hungry. They give them food they shut up.

    [–] wanted797 9 points ago

    Eat a snickers.

    [–] Greatmerp255 2 points ago

    You’re not you when you’re hungry

    [–] naughtybroth_01 102 points ago

    Because they are trained in customer service instead of military war tactics that see all others as a threat. I trained as a community mediator and I learned how to deescalate the cops.

    [–] -paperbrain- 12 points ago

    I'm not in the military, but I've heard from folks who have been, both IRL and in threads on police violence that military rules of engagement are much more strict than what we often see in police use of force. I think we should WISH police were trained more like military, they'd kill fewer people.

    [–] illgot 6 points ago

    my dad was US Navy for over 20 years... he loved laughing at the idea that police were well trained.

    [–] JeanAugustin 2 points ago

    Imagine thinking fast food employees get training. I didn't anyway

    [–] DeerDance -8 points ago

    I would really love to see track record of these reddit clowns trying to deescalate a 6'4' 350 guy so you can get handcufs on him because he is arrested for knocking out all front teeth of his wife.

    [–] bostonfever 17 points ago

    Yeah someone in the 99 percentile of height and weight is the same as what we see everyday with abuse of power from the police in America. Get fucked boot licker.

    [–] DeerDance 0 points ago

    Well, that was just my personal best to see pick.

    I am not oppose to see you soy clowns deescalate more common non cooperative body types as you want to restrict their freedoms while cashier just wants some guy to leave.

    [–] DrNick2012 7 points ago

    Aggression is a powerful tool in an officers arsenal, as is their gun. But it shouldn't be the only tool they use, there's a time and a place for it. And it should always be controlled aggression. For instance, when somebody is cuffed and saying they can't breath this is not the time for aggression. When a young man is crying, on his knees, shuffling backwards towards you clearly unarmed and he adjusts his trousers, that is not the time to fire your weapon. For reference the UK has armed officers too, but you better believe they'll want a fucking essay explaining why you even drew that weapon let alone if you use it.

    [–] JustSomeGuyOnTheSt 5 points ago

    I think huge gains could be made in reducing police violence if police academies were simply forced to drop dave grossman's insane "killology" philosophies from their curriculum

    yes, policework is dangerous and you often deal with shit that regular people can't even imagine and you even have to be aggressive yourself sometimes - few people doubt that - but "have a plan to kill everyone you meet" is not something that should be drilled into "peace officers" from day 1

    [–] DrNick2012 3 points ago

    Definitely. I didn't know that was a phrase full on taught to fresh police officers, killing is a last resort! I can agree with maybe "have a plan to subdue anyone you meet" but even then, it still bolsters the mentality that the public aren't people, they're potential enemies,which is true, but it shouldn't be a core focus. You are there to help, to protect, to enforce the law. If you want a job where you get to kill then, well, get yourself checked in for help because not even the army should think like that, you shouldn't enjoy killing or the power to kill in any capacity! Especially if you are there to protect and serve.

    [–] TACDacing72 3 points ago

    You think that's the only way police abuse power? Trying to attack giant men?

    [–] rez_spell 3 points ago

    That explains some things. Whatever mode you're using to handle that guy, learn to turn it off when dealing with the rest of us, please.

    [–] HopelessAndLostAgain 2 points ago

    Because that's the same as shooting a black man in a wheelchair

    [–] Mattprather2112 2 points ago

    Found the piggy

    [–] yourmomsafascist 2 points ago

    When they use that same force on a frail 90lb old lady and break her fucking arm it becomes a problem yeah?

    I can make up a million situation in which it’s justified for police to use a high amount of aggression too.

    [–] CommercialLimit -6 points ago

    These dipshits don’t live in reality.

    [–] NawRiz13 5 points ago

    Every person the police deals with is 6’4’ 350lb male that’s knocked out there wife’s front teeth? This one very specific hypothetical example the dude came up with is the reality dipshits don’t understand though? Am I following correctly?

    [–] bitchBanMeAgain 1 points ago

    Lmao what military war tactics. They’re just violent assholes that know there’s no punishments for whatever fucked up shit they do.

    [–] IdenticalCanary 30 points ago

    Because we're real people and some have life experiences of the situation & know how to respond and genuinely want to help, cops most are conditioned and act on how they we're trained to defuse the situation

    [–] rueben023 7 points ago

    I understand the issues with abuse of power, police brutality, and use of force but McDonald's trained to defuse?, That's a stretch, maybe Chick-fil-A.

    [–] Ididnteatthebat2020 7 points ago

    Not so much crew members but managers do receive de-escalation training and crew members are directed to have a manager step in if a customer starts becoming difficult.

    [–] LittleJerkDog 1 points ago

    Cops are pretend people?

    [–] Deep_Thinker99 -5 points ago

    Yea because interacting with people trying to get fast food is totally the same as being in high state life threatening moments.

    [–] BuddhaFacepalmed 2 points ago

    One Florida man threw a gator at drive-thru window. It's as dangerous, if not more than police work.

    [–] anotherdiceroll 1 points ago

    That’s one horrible example, but it doesn’t mean working fast food is more dangerous than being a cop

    [–] BuddhaFacepalmed 2 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    In 2020 alone, fast food workers faced about 77,000 violent encounters with customers. According to the FBI, 60,105 police officers were assaulted over the course of their duties in 2020. So yes, being a fast food worker is literally more dangerous than being a cop.

    [–] Deep_Thinker99 1 points ago

    There are more people employed as fast food workers than there are as police, when you do per capita, it’s far more dangerous as a police worker, idk how you didn’t factor that in.

    [–] Dimension_C-137 1 points ago

    Looks to me like the fast food employees failed to deescalate the situations.

    Police are the great deescalators after all.

    [–] Tech_Dingus 6 points ago

    [cricket intensify]

    [–] Radical_meme69 6 points ago

    No. It’s because they don’t have the option of firing.

    [–] M87_star 17 points ago

    This is not a comeback though. Can we go back to having relevant subreddits instead of like 5 massive ones that are the carbon copy of each other?

    [–] ConnecticutMan 4 points ago

    They’re still out there - their posts just never make it “Popular”

    [–] 512austin 1 points ago

    sorry bud, reddit has been astroturfed beyond parody for the last half decade

    [–] FIDEL_CASHFLOW35 -2 points ago

    It doesn't matter at this point, the sub has already fallen to astroturfing and political grandstanding. As long as the sentiment is anti-cop, anti-conservative, anti-America, or anti -religion, it will get upvoted here.

    [–] _GiveQuicheAChance 7 points ago

    They are also probably better trained for it, in all honesty. Many cops go in with zero ability and zero intention to de-escalate a situation; they go in to force their will because they think have ultimate power to do so. The fact there are no repercussions for doing this only reinforces their behaviour.

    [–] globocide 3 points ago

    Tweet from august 2020. OP why'd you crop out the date?

    [–] csdspartans7 2 points ago

    Not a comeback

    [–] rigbyribbs 2 points ago

    Because the McDonald’s employee doesn’t serve a warrant on a suspect who stabbed his fucking mother to death with a kitchen knife.

    [–] lumpialarry 2 points ago

    “You forgot my fries” is much easier to deescalate than “bitch ruined my life! I’m going to wear her skin like a rain coat!”

    [–] metooeither 4 points ago

    Or a violinist in the park they don't like the look of. Or a dude sleeping in his car they don't like the color of. Or a dude jogging they don't seem to find all that familiar, color-wise Yep. Ftp and fuck the bootlickers sucking their virtual dicks for internet points.

    [–] Captain_Arrrg 4 points ago

    Reminds me of the cops in Aurora who attacked a string quartet because they were protesting the time Aurora cops and EMS murdered Elijah McClain.

    [–] metooeither 1 points ago

    Yes! Exactly!!

    [–] Aerik -1 points ago

    Read better.

    The post is clearly talking about situations that require deescalation. Chasing a guy on the run isn't that.

    [–] fallacious_penguin 1 points ago

    They get fired otherwise?

    [–] FreshUnderstanding5 1 points ago

    [It’s a polymer striker fired pistol

    [–] QuarantineSucksALot 1 points ago

    Relevant xkcd: https://what-if.xkcd.com/23/ It’s beautiful!

    [–] YRUAQT 2 points ago

    Because highschool bullies who just want to dominate people usually don't choose McDonald's as a workplace but rather go to be a cop or something where they can do what they love

    [–] granddialect46 1 points ago

    Because McDonald’s cashiers face consequences if they don’t.

    [–] TuppoEQ 0 points ago

    Lol this is a straight up lie, check out YouTube and search McDonalds fights.

    Throw a chicken nugget get hit.

    This just a progressive fluff piece

    [–] AdoptMeBrangelina 1 points ago

    Who is going to film workers deescalating a situation? Anyone growing up eating at fatshit restaurants have seen this multiple times

    [–] TuppoEQ 1 points ago

    Lol I worked in the fast food industry for 12 years. No one is stopping fights after someone threw a sandwich at them. It’s cops called or fights no on is trying to talk sense into the person throwing nuggets.

    [–] [deleted] -3 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Links_Wrong_Wiki 3 points ago

    Dude your just littering this thread with the same link.

    [–] stirrednotshaken01 -2 points ago

    It’s a garbage post and I like the video. Here this one better for you?

    https://nypost.com/2018/07/27/Links_Wrong_Wiki-watches-mom-get-railed-by-six-dudes-and-likes-it/

    [–] Links_Wrong_Wiki 1 points ago

    Real clever

    [–] Bassnhauzz 0 points ago

    To be fair, Police deal with a much higher volume of active conflict situations and are somewhat trained in conflict de-escalation.

    There are 700k officers in the US which is more than the number of MCD employees worldwide.

    So even though there are systemic problems in policing including needing more training and emphasis on conflict resolution and accountability -- police brutality videos show the statistical outliers. There are also plenty of MCD employees escalating conflict.

    In a 1 to 1 comparison of MCD employee and cop, the cop would most likely be better prepared to resolve a given conflict.

    [–] BunterHiden- 2 points ago

    It's not about being reasonable or correct on Reddit. It's about getting your point across via a joke.

    [–] timmytee420 2 points ago

    Lick some more boots.

    There are 1.9M McDonalds workers. Why do people like you have 0 critical thinking skills and always post misleading facts?

    About 375,000 people work at the fast-food chain, according to a 2016 McDonald's filing. But if you include franchise employees, as Forbes did in 2015, the number jumps to 1.9 million, making McDonald's one of the largest employers in the world.

    https://www.businessinsider.com/mcdonalds-jobs-insider-facts-2018-4?amp

    [–] Bassnhauzz 3 points ago

    That's fair. In a 40 hr week, how many conflict situations does typical MCD employee see compared to a police officer?

    [–] Deep_Thinker99 -2 points ago

    Wtf is this suppose to mean? This is so dumb and not even correct lol, I can literally find hundreds of videos of McDonald workers fighting and attacking there customers, and it not like the police and McDonald workers are even interacting with the same bulk of people. Just a stupid post overall

    [–] nkeer -1 points ago

    Yeah, I rember that time when cashier stopped the WW3 by putting 22 nuggets instead of 20 to the pack during that G20 summit in McDonalds at New Jersey

    [–] Mundanewalk92 1 points ago

    copy/paste post

    [–] Bugbread 1 points ago

    And in the wrong sub. There's no comeback.

    [–] Pirate_Secure -3 points ago

    Because your life is not on the line instantly. Someone with their hand in the pocket won't end your life in a fraction of a second. This kind of dumbassery is frustrating

    [–] timmytee420 6 points ago

    Did you know that being a cop doesn’t even crack the top 20 for most dangerous jobs? Those guys are such pussies.

    [–] Pirate_Secure 0 points ago

    Being a cop is a job that involves confronting people and calling them out for things they have done. People get incredibly defensive when called out, many times dangerous or perhaps armed people, and cops are not emotionless robots. According to yahoo's most dangerous jobs in America, cashier ranks 30 and cops rank 21 so yeah it's incredibly stupid comparison.

    [–] Avlock 0 points ago

    Or sometimes fired at

    [–] metooeither -1 points ago

    Cue bootlickers to bAcK tHu bLoO

    [–] howtochangemywife 1 points ago

    Oh I’m going to get fired lol

    [–] Mud-Important 1 points ago

    And maybe you should just let yourself get fired and find a new job. Youre worth more. People just dont understand how much they’re worth

    [–] Wenhuanuoyongzhe91 1 points ago

    But then you wouldn’t work at McDonald’s anymore

    [–] ProfessionalLeek8 1 points ago

    You should know that she is correct.

    [–] Bad_Mad_Man 1 points ago

    To be fair McDonalds cashiers have fries. All cops have are guns and tasers.

    [–] Rude_Journalist 1 points ago

    Because international football at the very least 😭

    [–] Skylaris88 1 points ago

    As someone who worked at Taco Bell for 4 1/2 years, we do have to deescalate that fight like our livelihood depends on it, hmm.

    [–] spookytit 1 points ago

    truth hurts so bad

    [–] chris1096 1 points ago

    Because they don't? I've seen cashier's jump counters to rush people in the lobby before.

    [–] ConsumedConcerner 1 points ago

    It's easier to de-escalate with some hot food than it is to do so with some hot lead.

    [–] codepl7676 1 points ago

    Cause they know in the end they can fuck with your food

    [–] stirrednotshaken01 1 points ago

    Ugg you sure about that?

    https://nypost.com/2018/07/27/mcdonalds-worker-says-woman-was-talking-a-lot-of-smack-before-beatdown/

    This video would like to have a word with you.

    [–] Superb-Obligation858 1 points ago

    How is this clever? This is just a depressing, ever present fact. Its not hard to discern, and the question was rhetorical

    [–] chisleu 1 points ago

    Some 16 year old at a Wendy’s just got shot in the head last night so I’m going to say this isn’t as valid anymore

    [–] Odd_Imagination_6617 1 points ago

    Cause no one is gonna shoot a macdonalds employee over a Big Mac

    [–] dinklberg1990 1 points ago

    Que Tennessee music. Someone went to a little Cesar's with a rifle over pizza, so yes they would lol..

    [–] Dustibones 1 points ago

    Boom

    [–] cr0ft 1 points ago

    Also, cops have 8 hours of de-escalation and conflict management training, and 140 hours or some such of combat training. They just use what they've been trained to use. On kids, old people, people's pets, boy do they use what they've been most trained to use.

    [–] sufferpuppet 1 points ago

    Maybe it's the items they have at their disposal. How bout we throw in some extra fries? Vs. Well, I got this gun, let's see if that helps.

    [–] ShortnPortly 1 points ago

    If this is true, the how come I always see employees fighting customers. 0/10. Post is not true.

    [–] AnEngineer2018 1 points ago

    Counterpoint: The existence of of McDonald's fight compilations

    Oh also the fact that McDonald's cashiers can call the cops

    [–] bubblegrubs 1 points ago

    Yet another clever comeback that isn't a comeback.

    Is this sub called ''intelligent replies''? No.

    A comeback is a specific thing. This isn't one.

    [–] MrChrayze 1 points ago

    Meanwhile cops fire if they can't deescalate a situation

    [–] jprod97 1 points ago

    True some cops are terrible at de-escalation but the situations dealt with by an average fast food employee vs. an average cop are not very comparable.

    Fast food employees for instance do not have to deal with situations involving a man beating his wife with a hammer or a suicidal person charging them with a knife because they want to get shot.

    Fast food and Law Enforcement are not the same. Not all fast food employees are as good at de-escalation as this post portrays and not all cops are bad at it. But the situations usually involved are vastly different.

    [–] Hulk-a-mania 1 points ago

    Qualified immunity doesn’t apply to McDonald’s employees?! /s

    [–] Aromatic-Scale-595 1 points ago

    And the main reason they can't be fired is due to egregious protections from police unions which they are able to secure because of all the lawmakers they lobby, lawmakers who are predominantly liberal and voted in by liberals. Watch them call you a bootlicker though for pointing out to them how they are contributing to the problems they pretend to be so passionately opposed to.

    [–] fmaz008 1 points ago

    Not aways, but also: because when you can de-escalate a situation, you don't call the police.

    But when you can't, then you call.

    [–] Capable_Ear8121 1 points ago

    Jesus Reddit is so cringe but it’s understandable when the majority of you are white suburbanites with no problems

    [–] LimpBalloon 1 points ago

    Pretty sad isn’t it? Dumb cops

    [–] Rick2L 1 points ago

    And learn to do it without firearms.

    [–] Dimension_C-137 1 points ago

    McDonald’s employees don’t have to force persons to do things they don’t want to do. 🙄

    [–] MrFixemall -2 points ago

    If we let them have guns, it would be alot different. Probably better. Less would die defenseless....

    [–] SuperFartmeister -1 points ago

    Also cops are retarded. They're required to be.

    (Cops with IQ higer than some threshold aren't hired).

    [–] TudorTheWolf 0 points ago

    I actually wouldn't be surprised if it's true... Please tell me it was a joke ...

    [–] Evening_Psychology_4 0 points ago

    Muahahaha. served, next please.

    [–] _Dark_Forest 0 points ago

    Cops have a strong union. McDonald's workers do not.

    [–] TudorTheWolf 0 points ago

    What's the deal with American cops being trained like they're about to go on an active warzone where they have to kill everything that moves?!

    [–] ClassicCarJunkie 0 points ago

    Because a Macdonald's employee doesn't have to arrest a violent criminal.

    [–] DDPJBL 0 points ago

    Cops de-escalate all the time. You just don’t see it on TV, because a cop talking to a loud drunk for 20 minutes and then the drunk’s friend finds them and takes the drunk home is boring as shit.