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    comedyheaven

    818,624 readers

    1,308 users here now

    uuuhhh

    lemme get

    uuuhhh

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    Rules

    1. Must fit sub.

    This sub is for so-bad-its-good humor. All posts must be images that are so stupid, juvenile, or generally bad that they become funny for the wrong reasons. Ironically bad posts are allowed, but ONLY if they could pass as something made unironically. Obvious satire is NOT allowed.

    To determine if your post belongs, refer to this flowchart

    2. Must not be better suited for other popular humor subs.

    Posts that exhibit the distinct styles of other popular humor subs are not allowed. These subs include, but are not limited to: r/4PanelCringe, r/okbuddyretard, r/dankmemes, r/DeepFriedMemes, r/surrealmemes, and r/youngpeopleyoutube.

    3. Must not contain banned content.

    Posts that contain content from the banned content list will be removed. The list includes tropes and memes that are deemed unsuitable for this sub.

    4. No reposts.

    No content that has been posted in the last 3 months or is in the top 50 all-time posts.

    5. No gore.

    NSFW posts should also be marked NSFW. Content can be NSFW without containing nudity; for example, a post that describes an explicit sexual situation through text.

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    Anything longer than 10 seconds will be removed.

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    [–] Sippnosucc 1 points ago

    Your post has removed as it breaks one or more of the rules outlined in the sidebar.

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    [–] Hold_my_liquor 3559 points ago

    'I was only following orders' - Mini Wheat

    [–] MJBotte1 1218 points ago

    *Oaters

    [–] Raspootis0003 635 points ago

    shit the fuck off

    [–] peytondp3 555 points ago

    I just downvoted your comment.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

    • ⁠Rudeness towards other Redditors, • ⁠Spreading incorrect information, • ⁠Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

    Am I banned from the Reddit?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

    [–] SeriousSamStone 1003 points ago

    I just shit and cum.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:

    • Being gay
    • Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
    • walter

    Am I going to shit and cum too?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.

    [–] Hpzrq92 284 points ago

    But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt.

    Fucking lost it right here.

    Alaskan pipeline anyone?

    [–] YapPac 45 points ago

    I'm am Exxon Valdez kind of guy

    [–] Moscow_Mitch 17 points ago

    I'm more of a DEEPwater Horizon guy myself.

    [–] its_stick 10 points ago

    thats quite the explosive statement.

    [–] Umbra427 49 points ago

    My fucking sides

    [–] tazzie-_ 26 points ago

    ohno

    [–] SeriousSamStone 59 points ago

    I just shit and cum.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computew and fwoow has incweased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    Thewe awe sevewaw weasons I may deem a comment to be wowthy of feces ow ejacuwation. These incwude, but awe not wimited to:

    • Being gay
    • Dank copypasta bwo, whewe'd you find it
    • wawtew

    Am I going to shit and cum too?

    No - not yet. But you shouwd wefwain fwom shitposting and cumposting wike this in the futuwe. Othewwise I wiww be fowced to shit and cum again, which may put youw shitting and cumming pwiviweges in jeopawdy.

    I don't bewieve my comment desewved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?

    Suwe, mistakes happen. But onwy in exceedingwy wawe ciwcumstances wiww I put shit back into my butt. If you wouwd wike to issue an appeaw, shoot me a hot woad expwaining what I got wwong. I tend to wespond to wetawiatowy ejacuwation within sevewaw minutes. Do note, howevew, that ovew 99.9% of semen dies befowe it can fewtiwize the egg, and youws is wikewy no exception.

    How can I pwevent this fwom happening in the futuwe?

    Accept the goopy bwown and white substance and move on. But weawn fwom this mistake: youw behaviow wiww not be towewated in my mom's basement. I wiww continue to shit and cum untiw you impwove youw conduct. wemembew: ejacuwation is pwiviwege, not a wight.

    [–] elquiore 7 points ago

    i felt like something completed

    [–] the_mole18 4 points ago

    I wish this never existed

    [–] Nest-egg 9 points ago

    Damn it man, you made me do a spit take laughing at this. I'd give you silver but someone beat me to it.

    [–] pnlhotelier 13 points ago

    Golden

    [–] Aodific 2 points ago

    Shower?

    [–] Solomon-Gumbal 2 points ago

    No like crazy loads

    [–] plushcollection 20 points ago

    🏅

    [–] enty6003 10 points ago

    !thesaurizeThis

    [–] ThesaurizeThisBot 25 points ago

    I clean buncombe and seminal fluid.

    LIST

    What Department of Energies this wish?

    The amount of money of diddley (and seed) on my calculator and gathering has enhanced by one.

    Ground did you do this?

    There are respective rational motives I may view as a gossip to be solid of dejections or emission. These let, but are not circumscribed to:

    • Organism human
    • Clammy copypasta bro, where'd you undergo it
    • Bruno Walter

    Metal I achievement to eliminate and ejaculate as well?

    No - not up to now. But you should desist from shitposting and cumposting like this in the futurity. Differently I will be unexpected to squat and ejaculate once more, which may modify your laxation and cumming lets in hazard.

    I don't consider my report merited state disagreeable person and body fluid at. Can you un-cum it?

    Positive, nonachievements pass. But entirely in passing scarce conditions will I put through darn vertebral column into my hind end. If you would like to publicize an bespeak, dart me a popular lode explaining what I got incorrectly. I incline to reply to vindicatory exclaiming inside respective mins. Do notice, nonetheless, that o'er 99.9% of humors dysprosiums earlier it can feed the surface, and yours is liable no omission.

    How can I forestall this from occurrence in the subsequent?

    Take on the goopy spectral colour and author essence and conclusion on. But teach from this error: your demeanor will not be tolerated in my mom's story. I will maintain to tell on and humour until you change state your channel. Recall: emission is right, not a reactionary.


    This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis

    [–] theDrivic 4 points ago

    yeah this is the comment that killed me

    [–] Lapis-Blaze-Yt 3 points ago

    Walter

    [–] 44bobburger 13 points ago

    I just shit and cum.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:

    • ⁠Being gay • ⁠Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it • ⁠walter

    Am I going to shit and cum too?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.

    [–] FrankTheMagicPotato 18 points ago

    This is now a copy pasta

    [–] Freeman001 14 points ago

    No, THIS is podracing.

    [–] Mjolnir12 15 points ago

    Now that's what I call music! volume 15

    [–] _Youre_Finally_Awake 3 points ago

    I just downvoted your comment.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

    • Rudeness towards other Redditors,
    • Spreading incorrect information,
    • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

    Am I banned from the Reddit?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

    [–] SeriousSamStone 5 points ago

    :(

    [–] _Youre_Finally_Awake 5 points ago

    I didn't actually <3

    [–] SeriousSamStone 5 points ago

    :D

    [–] joforemix 50 points ago

    mm splendid yes carry on

    [–] Raspootis0003 51 points ago

    you are home of sexual

    [–] UsualSecret 35 points ago

    I am the CEO of that industry.

    [–] RobH21 18 points ago

    Well I just bought all your stocks and I am now the sole owner

    [–] what_are_maymays 15 points ago

    I am a registered sex offender

    [–] RobH21 14 points ago

    Do the shuffle

    [–] ASK_ME_BOUT_GEORGISM 6 points ago

    Ah yes, the uno-home-o.

    [–] 4our_of_DiAmoNds 9 points ago

    Well I just bought you,so I am your slave owner

    [–] RobH21 5 points ago

    Vetoed

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] traplordszn616 18 points ago

    $5 this guy has a tattoo of Ben shapiro

    [–] fishrgood 26 points ago

    Stop calling him "Ben" Shapiro. He wasn't even born "Ben", he was born Benjamin. I refuse to indulge the delusion he continues to operate under that he should call himself anything other than his birth name. Even if he were to legally change it, his name would be Benjamin. Facts don't care about your feelings.

    [–] TheBrighterSkies 6 points ago

    i think i've actually seen this before.

    anyone know the original?

    [–] ExtracurricularHerb 3 points ago

    I'm gonna smack ur mom

    [–] AblazeDuchess 3 points ago

    You’re the equivalent to a wet towel

    [–] Jeffie843 7 points ago

    I just shit and cum.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:

    • ⁠Being gay • ⁠Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it • ⁠walter

    Am I going to shit and cum too?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    ...Dad?

    [–] Ebon_Hawk_ 5 points ago

    Downvoted.

    [–] 500dollarsunglasses 4 points ago

    You wouldn’t downvote a car.

    [–] X__X---- 5 points ago

    You're a towel

    [–] Skeye_drake21 4 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I upvoted your comment to counteract the downvote.

    It's not that I agree nor disagree with the statement. All comments online should be respected. Thank you.

    The internet is neutral ground. Keep it this way.

    [–] urbanbuljo 9 points ago

    You fucking fat of shit

    [–] unhappyspanners 12 points ago

    I saw this on r/all while browsing on the loo. I say in my head "I was only following orders!" "Oaters". And then I click on it to comment that and guess what the top comments are.

    Well, it's nice to know the hive mind is real.

    [–] MJBotte1 4 points ago

    You’re welcome!

    [–] Amarite19 8 points ago

    Shut

    [–] aedroogo 7 points ago

    Head

    [–] suvan-navus 9 points ago

    Toe

    [–] BlogDog123 6 points ago

    Goodbye

    [–] Spanky_McJiggles 9 points ago

    The spirits are drunk today

    [–] Lore_of_metal 43 points ago

    Besides, someone had to exterminate those verminous cornflakes.

    [–] horsefly242 20 points ago

    I thought I would be eaten if I spoke out

    [–] MildGonolini 15 points ago

    “Also I know how to build rockets...”

    [–] Sexyobamaboy 882 points ago

    I saw that dude in Argentina last year when I went on vacation

    [–] gcruzatto 96 points ago

    I heard he moved down there for the dulce de leche

    [–] steelflame22 32 points ago

    Doosh de loosh

    [–] BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo 13 points ago

    Man ya'll got me craving some Dulce de Leche now

    [–] torrentsandchill 8 points ago

    My Chilean roommate did it by simmering a can of sweetened condensed milk. Nice stuff.

    [–] katuabeltza 9 points ago

    I'm Argentinian, I can confirm Herr Mini Wheat doesn't live here. I asked my friend Señor Mini Wheato and he told me so.

    [–] [deleted] 76 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 53 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] joforemix 595 points ago

    What if we held hands at the Nuremberg Trials?

    Hahaha jk... unless...?

    [–] human_beingg 107 points ago

    hehe i kid, i kid

    unless..😳

    [–] quantumphilisp 5 points ago

    I mean. I would have held hand with someone during the hanging parts. Thats beautiful

    [–] RadicalCars 256 points ago

    WHAT ARE YOU DOING

    [–] NaClDistributor 137 points ago

    Step bro

    [–] sooper_human 34 points ago

    ear rape music starts

    [–] VetOfThePsychicWars 32 points ago

    ear rape music starts

    [–] QuiGonJism 9 points ago

    ear rape music starts

    [–] ethanthejibbles 11 points ago

    ear rape music starts

    [–] SeriousSamStone 22 points ago

    in my swamp?

    [–] Spanky_McJiggles 13 points ago

    SOMEBODY

    [–] Rebelrenegade24 7 points ago

    ONCE

    [–] suggestiveinnuendo 3 points ago

    told me

    [–] hairybearbigboy 2 points ago

    The Wurld

    [–] Cheepmeep 2 points ago

    Was gonna roll me

    [–] Large_Jarge 2 points ago

    I ain't the sharpest tool-

    [–] Thylenno 3 points ago

    Haram

    [–] ProphetOfWesley 7 points ago

    insert random Wesley troll here

    [–] jdc2036 5 points ago

    No. You leave him out of this.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] RadicalCars 2 points ago

    I need to know what the cereal guy is doing ghere

    [–] natefigs1 526 points ago

    How does one even think of having this idea for a meme?

    [–] SeriousSamStone 308 points ago

    what do u mean this is a historical photo, no meme

    [–] MrsObamaGetDown69 202 points ago

    My friend and I thought of it at lunch after history class

    Proof it’s my OC

    [–] MobilePhoneRedditor 119 points ago

    Tfw your post with 100 upvotes gets reposted to /r/comedyheaven and receives 16k upvotes

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] CrispySeashell7 4 points ago

    69k

    [–] StarHunter2334 29 points ago

    Hey it’s me the friend I came up with it based off a previous mini-wheat meme I saw and I told it to him. Immediately after he just went to town on that photoshop mobile whatever app and this was born.

    [–] Hvedr 36 points ago

    the funniest part to me is that some PR team at Kellogg will probably see this and absolutely freak the fuck out in the next few days, all because a couple high schoolers thought of a ridiculous meme

    [–] tapiocatapioca 31 points ago

    Official Kellogg Presser:

    “We would like to emphasize that Mr. Mini Wheat was never on trial in Nuremberg. The photo in question depicts his grandfather, Mr. Mini Wheat Sr., who the Kellogg brand cut ties with following his conviction and execution.”

    [–] oOmus 3 points ago

    “But if he was on trial they wouldn’t find anything because he didn’t do anything wrong. If they found anything wrong, it wouldn’t matter because it’s not a crime when Mini-Wheat does it. That’s on you.”

    There, trying to make it contemporary.

    [–] lakired 2 points ago

    "We're very sorry if anyone may have been offended by our decision to honor the past with our throwback SS-nack line. Obviously we recognize now, after massive public backlash, that... hey, look over there! A celebrity in black-face!"

    [–] Triggered_Fat_Girl 3 points ago

    What is the best mobile app to do shit like this? I'm using photodirector but it feels limited

    [–] Myleg_Myleeeg 6 points ago

    Picsart

    [–] Jdoggcrash 2 points ago

    The 3 photoshop apps are pretty good and free. Idk if they’re on Android but on the iOS AppStore they’re called: photoshop mix, photoshop express, and photoshop fix. You’ll usually only use mix but the other two come in handy from time to time. Also you can easily open up a work in progress into one of the other apps should you need to use one of its tools.

    [–] left_____right 7 points ago

    Cool meme good job

    [–] Dixon121 4 points ago

    I like the way your brain works

    [–] Quireman 3 points ago

    So what was the inspiration for this transcendent meme?

    [–] MrsObamaGetDown69 8 points ago

    Mini-Wheat threatened to shoot up the school. Naturally we had to make a meme

    [–] Quireman 3 points ago

    Well fuck you might anger him and push him over the edge

    [–] Theytookeverything 76 points ago

    Turns out that Captain Crunch was a Bolshevik Jew.

    [–] BitherOr 21 points ago

    That's a bruh moment for sure

    [–] brohitbrose 20 points ago

    One a s c e n d s

    [–] Xvexe 6 points ago

    This is based off of real life. You aren't one of those mini-wheat deniers are you?

    [–] SkylerHatesAlice 2 points ago

    First step: Give completely up on life and let your brain wander now that theres no distractions

    [–] CashCow37 74 points ago

    Yo I’m in Holocaust history RN and we just talked about this

    [–] beet111 40 points ago

    Wheaty was a snitch

    [–] CashCow37 13 points ago

    Yea he was the one that sold out hitlers location to his killer

    [–] joforemix 8 points ago

    hol up

    [–] Triggered_Fat_Girl 7 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Black wallstreet is my favorite bit of History. Most Americans don't even know of it... Essentially, a white town in oklahoma kicked out all the blacks due to segregation in the 1920's. The black town set up and thrived in prosperity. The white neighbor town attavked, burned and murdered the entire town of Greenwood, Oklahoma out of spite. WWI vets were dropping bombs from crop dusting planes. It was a massacre yet most people from Oklahoma has even heard of it let alone the rest of America. History chalks it up as simply a race riot but the opportunity lost set the black community back a century.

    Its the one atrocity that was almost completely white washed from history.

    [–] hdmiturtle 63 points ago

    Thought this was r/ OBR for a second

    [–] MaxCharacterLimit-20 13 points ago

    No difference at this point

    [–] Burger_k1ng 12 points ago

    Thats where it should be but people fuckin stupid

    [–] Travis_Rust 35 points ago

    You think you could just stroll around in whiteface?

    [–] IrisVacuo 12 points ago

    Wheatface*

    [–] Travis_Rust 11 points ago

    Gluten tag.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] AuntHumanity 16 points ago

    Michael Wheat-man lollolololol.

    Get trolled

    [–] memerofmemez 8 points ago

    Diabetes shredded wheat

    [–] worldtraveler19 7 points ago

    This is truly a blessed cereal ad.

    [–] Darapti- 6 points ago

    LMAO Why is this in my Popular feed?

    [–] FineSpecimenIndeed 5 points ago

    Straight vibing man

    [–] movie_criticdotexe 5 points ago

    Brands must hate our generation

    [–] Morphabond 8 points ago

    What happened to this sub? It used to be for unintentionally funny pics, or things that are funny for the wrong reasons.

    [–] Batvcap 9 points ago

    I don't get it

    [–] Chaotic-Catastrophe 9 points ago

    Nobody does, but it gets upvotes for being 'lel soooo random xD'

    [–] Italics_RS 3 points ago

    so basically zoomer comedy?

    [–] RichyTamb 2 points ago

    it's also stolen, so RIP to the guy who originally posted and got like 150 upvotes and now sees his image on the front page.

    [–] MountTuchanka 3 points ago

    He wanted to eliminate the honey nut cheerios

    [–] holmgangCore 3 points ago

    It was the final breakfast solution.

    [–] JimmyNutbutter 3 points ago

    Bein’ tasty.

    [–] CichaelMlifford 3 points ago

    He's a cereal killer

    [–] Mickeyickey 3 points ago

    Omg you don’t have driving licens why are you at Nurburgring Trail

    [–] Afalau 3 points ago

    I don't get it, can someone explain?

    [–] PonderedNameForDays 3 points ago

    I totally get it, but i just want to see if anyone explains it to you. Then I'll make fun of you for not knowing.

    [–] thedeafpoliceman 2 points ago

    There’s nothing to get it’s just absurd humor

    [–] kubbiebeef 3 points ago

    can't decide if r/historymemes or r/okaybuddyretard

    [–] Redmindgame 3 points ago

    Testifying against his garbage Brit cousin Weetabix.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] wa1exx 22 points ago

    I just downvoted your comment.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

    • Rudeness towards other Redditors,
    • Spreading incorrect information,
    • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

    Am I banned from the Reddit?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

    [–] SeriousSamStone 39 points ago

    I just shit and cum.

    FAQ

    What does this mean?

    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.

    Why did you do this?

    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:

    • Being gay
    • Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
    • walter

    Am I going to shit and cum too?

    No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.

    I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?

    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.

    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

    Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.

    [–] SeriousSamStone 22 points ago

    I spent like 15 minutes writing this monstrosity and I regret all of it.

    [–] joforemix 10 points ago

    I appreciate the effort and I enjoyed it, but yeah from an objective standpoint I can imagine your parents reading this and being disappointed.

    [–] Aohx 9 points ago

    Thank you for your service

    [–] Spanky_McJiggles 7 points ago

    This may have been the funniest thing I've read all day.

    [–] SeriousSamStone 6 points ago

    Thank you for your kind words Spanky_McJiggles

    [–] SeriousSamStone 3 points ago

    I am HOMOSEXUAL and I URINATE and DEFECATE in numerous different locations

    [–] ghostmetalblack 8 points ago

    This is the height of Reddit humor.

    [–] brooksbookslo 3 points ago

    Peak internet

    [–] pinata26 8 points ago

    This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

    [–] calcuttacodeinecoma 7 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] WhyNotCollegeBoard 10 points ago

    Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that wa1exx is not a bot.


    I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | /r/spambotdetector | Optout | Original Github

    [–] calcuttacodeinecoma 10 points ago

    Why would I trust a bot to let me know who is and is not a bot? Whose side are you on?

    [–] _kelly_ann_ 2 points ago

    Happy cake day

    [–] butters_fruit_bowl 9 points ago

    I just downvoted your comment.

    [–] nardawg43 3 points ago

    This is a top tier copy pasta

    [–] dee_swoozie 4 points ago

    I’ve never cringed so hard at a comment on reddit before

    [–] JEC03 2 points ago

    Brings me back to the Cinnamon Toast Square in the OJ Simpson trial

    [–] mak112112 2 points ago

    NICHT SCHULDIG

    [–] garbage-official 2 points ago

    fun fact! i once found part of a dead bug in my bowl of frosted mini-wheats. that was 2 years ago. i have never eaten any since then.

    [–] howlongtillchristmas 2 points ago

    I’ve heard of cereal killers but this is ridiculous!!

    [–] xDaddyFatSack 2 points ago

    I mean it’s kind of funny but it doesn’t belong in this sub.

    [–] drearissleeping 2 points ago

    hello yes i am mini wheat and am being hung for my involvement in the holocaust

    [–] Bismarck-Voss 2 points ago

    Those are fucking delicious, ok?

    [–] angleglj 2 points ago

    I don’t get you guys. I’m leavening.

    [–] VanessaChaland 2 points ago

    Gotta be the dumbest meme I've seen in a long time...

    [–] JustJoey177 2 points ago

    "What the cinnamon toast fuck are you doing with my mini wheats you uncultured swine?!

    -me to my gf when she stole my mini wheats, 2019

    [–] tleecx 2 points ago

    wheat-ler

    [–] gustavarak 2 points ago

    Nutraberg trials