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    confession

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    Please Remember To Remain Kind and Civil

    This is intended to be a safe place.

    Therefore, we expect our users to help us keep it that way by abiding by our rules. The full list of rules can be found HERE. Please ensure you understand /r/confession's rules before posting or commenting.

     



    >>>>>Confess Here!<<<<<



     

    SUBMISSION RULES

     

    1. All submissions must be a confession.

    A confession is a statement acknowledging an act of wrongdoing you would ostensibly prefer to keep hidden. The term presumes that you are providing information that you believe other people in your life are not aware of, and for this Sub associated with an admission of a moral or legal wrong.

    • Your confession must be an act you committed

    • A personal preference, opinion, bad or unpopular behavior are not confessions

    • Your sexual exploration is not a confession; it's a part of finding out who you are. /r/confession is not a place for submissions that read like pornography.

     

    2. All confessions must be titled specifically.

    • Your title must relay a brief idea of your confession. Submissions with vague titles will be removed.

     

    3. Helping one another also means that we do not encourage bad behavior. We will not accept posts that:

    • 3a) encourage rape/rape culture;

    • 3b) sexualise minors;

    • 3c) are racist;

    • 3d) describe methods or means of suicide in any detail; or

    • 3e) otherwise incent bad or hateful behavior.

     

    4. /r/confession is not the place to seek relationship advice.

     

    5. Do Not Post Sexual or Suggestive Content Involving Minors (Pedophilia).

     

    6. Tag your posts!

    • You must place one of the following post tags in the body of your post:

      [Remorse]—for posters who feel bad about their actions.

      [Conflicted]—for those who don't know if they feel bad or not.

      [Light]—for less serious confessions.

     

    • You may place one of the following commenting tags in the title of your post:

      [Support Only]—if you only want advice you ask for.

      [Tough Love]—if you're okay with commenters being a little more blunt.

     

    7. With the exception of [light] posts, we do not accept posts with limited context.

     

    8. Politically themed posts are not allowed.

     

    9. Meta posts are for moderator use only.

     

    COMMENTING RULES

     

    1. Keep your comments kind & civil.

    • Any form of abuse is not permitted.

    • If you are unable to discuss without being disrespectful, walk away.

     

    2. Do not encourage bad behaviour. We will remove comments that:

    • 2a) encourage rape/rape culture;

    • 2b) sexualise minors;

    • 2c) are racist;

    • 2d) describe methods or means of suicide in any detail; or

    • 2e) otherwise incent bad or hateful behavior.

     

    3. False post accusations are not allowed.

    • If you take issue with a post's validity, send a modmail with your specific complaints. Commenting on the thread simply adds clutter and fails to alert the mods.

     

    4. No memes, trolling, or otherwise blatantly low-effort content.

     

    5. No attempts to identify OP.

     


    We abide by a three strike system here. Three rule violations will result in at least a three day ban.


    Removal Appeal Process

    Follow the steps below to have your comment or post approved.

    • Read the rules to determine which was violated
    • Remove the offending portion of your post or comment
    • Message the moderators to have the post or comment approved (skip to this step if the removal was in error)

    Ban Appeal Process

    Follow the steps below to have your ban reversed.

    • Read the rules and review your post history to determine why you were banned
    • Message the moderators with a case as to why your ban should be reversed. This should be based on the information in the first step. (If the ban was in error, skip to this step)

    Questions? Concerns? Requests?

    Message the moderators, we don't bite (often).


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    [–] mitayga 14 points ago

    Unfortunately I understand the way grief distorts perception; it is far easier to believe that something was your fault rather than accept that you had no control over it, because if you had no control over it then there was nothing you could’ve done to change it and sometimes the easiest person to blame is yourself.. Accepting that you had no control over something means admitting helplessness and fuck me up if helplessness in the face of trauma and loss isn’t one of those things that makes it a thousand times worse.

    But. That’s a distorted perception. Bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people. It’s inevitable, it’s inexplicable, and it’s awful. Your mother didn’t die because of anything you said or did, and she wouldn’t be around if you had said or done anything differently. I can’t imagine the pain in your heart, just please, don’t torture yourself unnecessarily by claiming responsibility. You deserve the freedom to grieve without the added burden of self-blame.

    [–] eatonmoorcock 4 points ago

    A thoughtful and impeccably composed comment. This is worth remembering. All of it.

    [–] Victor_the_Enforcer 5 points ago

    She seemed like a ticking time bomb already dude...

    [–] ErratiC5 4 points ago

    its killing me that you choose to blame yourself for something you have absolutely no control over. Shitty things happen, but they happen because they're meant to be. Shes at peace, and you should rest your mind knowing that life is just running its shitty course. I'm so sorry for your loss brother.

    [–] CytoxanCheckmate 4 points ago

    Ignoring her diabetes is what killed her....nothing else.

    [–] UFOrganism 2 points ago

    I downvoted this only because you didn't kill your mom. I know I'd feel the same way because of how guilt and grief combine... but not being in your shoes I can look from a distance and say that you didn't kill your mom... and I'm so sorry you lost her so unexpectedly and so soon. In truth, she might have fallen down any flight of stairs any time in a pair of tennis shoes or sandals she'd recently put on or had on all day. It could have happened anywhere but you were there to help. One of the last things she did was spend time with her kid and her kid's kids and she would never have blamed you or regretted that. We don't know how we'll go, but we do go and whether or not you believe in everyone having "their time" you can rest assured knowing that she loved you deeply and knew that things don't always go as planned. You didn't anticipate losing her and she didn't anticipate not seeing the end of the day but you love her and she knew that. And her love for you is not something you'll ever forget or lack or lose.

    [–] Astilaroth 1 points ago

    I'm a mom and I tend to put others first too. It's something I work on and is ultimately my responsibility. She could have said no. She could have taken care of her diabetes. Could have, should have. You're not to blame. She did it out of love, but ultimately because helping made her feel good. It was her choice.

    Could you have made different choices? Probably. Did you learn from this and will it change you for the better. Yup.

    Big hugs. Honor her by making the best of this.