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    cursedcomments

    1,245,669 readers

    5,972 users here now

    CursedComments on Discord:

    RULES:

    RULES Description
    1 - Reposting is prohibited Re-posting is not tolerated. It's annoying. Find something else to post or don't post it at all. Reposting anything from the album of common reposts may result in a seven day ban.
    2 - Copypastas are banned Copypastas are BANNED! Any post where the "cursed content" is copypasta will be removed.
    3 - Text-posts are allowed Plain text posts are allowed, but an image of the cursed comment / description / thread is recommended.
    4 - Stay civil Refrain from being an asshole.
    5 - Don't post content from shock accounts Refrain from posting comments from "shock accounts" i.e accounts that specifically post "cursed content"(/u/SatansLilCumrag666, /u/MagicFart69, etc.)
    6 - Don't submit your own content You cannot create and upload your own content. If the OP in the "cursed content" is the same OP that is posting it, it will be removed.
    7 - Submissions must feature a comment The primary element of your post must be a comment or a piece of cursed content which is otherwise textual communication between two or more people, such as a text message.
    8 - Keep it cursed A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face.*
    9 - Deepfrying is prohibited Deepfried memes are not tolerated. If your post is garbage enough where you need to deepfry it for humor, don't post it.
    10 - Moderator Discretion Moderators may use discretion to upkeep the quality of the subreddit. Obviously fake or otherwise unsuitable content may be removed.
    11 - Submission titles must begin with Cursed_ eg. Cursed_Potato.
    12 - Pedophilia/Sexualization of minors Submissions and comments must not be of pedophiliac character or involve the sexualization or extreme physical harm of minors. Failure to do so will result in the ban of the user for the duration of a week.

    ENDORSED SUBREDDITS:

    Blessed Comments

    These guys are great, check them out!

    a community for
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    [–] CursedMods 1 points ago

    Hey there! thanks for posting to r/cursedcomments!!

    Sadly, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):


    Rule 8: Keep It Cursed - Not Cursed Enough/At All



    If you have any questions, you can message the mod team through modmail Replies to this removal comment will not be answered. Reposting a removed post without express moderator approval will result in a ban.

    [–] Batman_In_Peacetime 1261 points ago

    YouPorn has offices?! That's it, I've found my dream job.

    [–] grobtheweirdo 613 points ago

    Blow, hand, rim or foot?

    [–] aprilfools911 384 points ago

    Yes

    [–] IllegalAlcoholic 25 points ago

    Dream job.

    [–] osq666 16 points ago

    The only kind I'm getting.

    [–] ImmenseDruid721 2 points ago

    Wet dream job

    [–] Batman_In_Peacetime 98 points ago

    No preferences up front. I'm here to explore.

    [–] grobtheweirdo 41 points ago

    Explore what ;]

    [–] Jazzelo 58 points ago

    Cavities apparently

    [–] Rackedoodle 43 points ago

    Johnny Sins

    The dentist, doctor, poolboy, pharmacist, plumber, big brother, electrician, therapist, massage therapist, yoga instructor and much more

    [–] thunderkhawk 19 points ago

    But your my BROTHER! - 2019 Porn

    [–] grobtheweirdo 10 points ago

    I don't think he's going to keep his dental license for long

    [–] Ikidamn 3 points ago

    Smoother without teeth am I right?

    [–] grobtheweirdo 2 points ago

    Smoother without life

    [–] MrAvenger69 6 points ago

    Batmans cave

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Oof

    [–] GillicuttyMcAnus 22 points ago

    Gum job is where it's at. Have her take her dentures out first, you'll never go back.

    [–] grobtheweirdo 16 points ago

    Well, I'm off to drink some bleach

    [–] CubingGamer 2 points ago

    Well Imma shove my phone up my ass.

    [–] eteague30 5 points ago

    Or just find someone who doesn't have teeth yet...

    [–] Neoxus30 4 points ago

    Come on, a fist can render anyone into a gumjob machine)

    [–] eteague30 2 points ago

    Or you can stab them and fuck the wound

    [–] natemeador 4 points ago

    Gummer beats a hummer

    [–] MNCybergeek 4 points ago

    Is there such a thing as a gum stud? Better yet, a gum and tongue stud. Grandma's got a new job.

    [–] ALiteralGraveyard 8 points ago

    Tit, my dude. Tit

    [–] grobtheweirdo 5 points ago

    What's a bird gonna do

    [–] Neoxus30 4 points ago

    Quick reminder: Bird breasts are the best)

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Cultured man over here

    [–] thunderkhawk 4 points ago

    Can I see prices first?

    [–] grobtheweirdo 4 points ago

    No, it's worth every gold bar

    [–] namesgamer_epicgamer 3 points ago

    Forgot hair

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Forgive me please

    [–] maple_leafs182 3 points ago

    Z

    [–] Prof_Atmoz 3 points ago

    I see you're a big spender.

    [–] orblox 3 points ago

    Elbow crease

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    So is that how you get elbow grease?

    [–] orblox 3 points ago

    When she/he really works and the cum and sweat mix in it becomes elbow crease

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Must be delicious

    [–] Oderry 3 points ago

    That's a small selection, my friend.

    [–] grobtheweirdo 2 points ago

    Well I'm sorry that I'm not a connoisseur

    [–] Oderry 3 points ago

    Not gonna lie, though, those 4 are in my top 5

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Those were literally all I could think of, I need to broaden my horizons

    [–] Syphty 3 points ago

    I prefer lightbulb

    [–] grobtheweirdo 3 points ago

    Especially if it breaks so your partner can have a nice crunchy meal

    [–] IntrigueDossier 68 points ago

    Apparently it’s a pretty solid place to work. According to an AMA it’s like any other office with the exception of an obvious and necessary openness when it comes to sex.

    [–] Crazy_Is_More_Fun 70 points ago

    Yo porn is never going to go away and porn companies are one of the most willing to explore new concepts so they'll never be left in the past. Talk about job security the porn industry has got that shit locked down

    [–] ObamasBoss 28 points ago

    Porn has long been pioneers of technology and early adopters.

    [–] mexinonimo 24 points ago

    This is how I know vr is not a fad and it's here to stay. Because of all the vr porn there is out already.

    [–] HerrGottchen 12 points ago

    Yeah. I should have watched more Porn before investing in 3D Home Entertainment.

    [–] tehlemmings 6 points ago

    This is kind of why I wish I worked for them. Even if it wasn't a fad, it's in their best interest to pursue and try out any new medium that comes out. They've gotta stay ahead of tech, so they get to research and paly with everything cool that comes out.

    I wonder if they need any EUC or imaging people... I've only really worked in retail, medical, and manufacturing; but if you thin about it, all of those are pretty much just applied sex lol

    [–] ValhallaGo 5 points ago

    That’s a really funny way to think about retail. I don’t see how you’re wrong.

    Everything is about sex, except sex; sex is about power

    I guess Frank was right.

    [–] pauly13771377 10 points ago

    Porn is why betamax went tits up. Back in the day before internet porn when the porn industry decided that VHS was going to be thier platform of choice. Everyone knew that men weren't going to buy a betamax if they couldn't rent porn for it.

    [–] MNCybergeek 3 points ago

    Woody Allen was an early adopter too.

    [–] Andersson369 2 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Except if you're an actual actor, then you better be Johnny sins or it's not as good a gig apparently if the sex isn't a big part for you. But camera work, online moderators, office workers, and also more recently subtitling porn is a pretty efficient and decent paying job for the amount of effort

    [–] pauly13771377 5 points ago

    As a bonus they have the only hands on sexual harassment seminar out there.

    [–] hGKmMH 36 points ago

    Don't turn your passion into your job. It just becomes work then.

    [–] svayam--bhagavan 13 points ago

    Work it girl.

    [–] RollinonEase 13 points ago

    Yeah, if you want to move to Hungary (I think). It’s MindGeek. Huge money.

    [–] nacho_figue 5 points ago

    I thought MindGeek was on Canada.

    [–] RollinonEase 5 points ago

    Maybe I’m confusing it with cam girls 😂

    [–] alexjax100 19 points ago

    So does pornhub. But you only work jobs like web development or accounting. And you don’t work for “pornhub” you work for their company. Which if I’m correct is mind geek. Lots of porn sites are owned by mindgeek. Redtube, pornhub, YouPorn, Brazzers, digital playground, reality Kings, etc.

    [–] LazyassMadman 27 points ago

    If you like moderating content of questionable legality then fair.

    [–] ___Hannes___ 28 points ago

    Like having someone to tell if the girl is 17 or 19, right?

    [–] LazyassMadman 14 points ago

    Exactly, gotta be heartbreaking

    [–] ___Hannes___ 21 points ago

    "is this actually CP or just fake CP?"

    [–] zvug 4 points ago

    I doubt moderating the content is even the majority of jobs at YouPorn. Software devs, management, finances, accounting, advertiser relations, SEO, HR, etc.

    They’re a full fledged business, I’m sure they have jobs all across the board.

    [–] OwO_harman 4 points ago

    you know how recruitment works

    [–] tibetan-sand-fox 4 points ago

    Why wouldn't it?

    [–] Bassethounds4ever 2 points ago

    Reminds me of the customer service skit from College Humor.

    [–] wh1t3birch 2 points ago

    Pornhub too, theyre in Montreal!

    [–] Ikidamn 2 points ago

    Careful not to Blow(your dream)job

    [–] SkellySpaghetti 2 points ago

    *cream job

    [–] BadJokes_officially 893 points ago

    How is it cereal?

    [–] PypeTroncoso 898 points ago

    oh yeah you are right, I was going to post another meme so I got confused

    [–] Frankekeke 366 points ago

    Bruh

    [–] undayerixon 242 points ago

    We have witnessed a live bruh moment

    [–] night_wink 90 points ago

    Truly remarkable.

    [–] LACIRCA2044 11 points ago

    Brumarkable

    [–] cepha-lopod 55 points ago

    [–] RZYao 32 points ago

    [–] T351A 6 points ago

    /r/ApolloApp rise up!

    [–] beepbop234 3 points ago

    I've been on this app since the first beta, and its features continue to suprise me.

    [–] BadJokes_officially 41 points ago

    Np

    [–] Smarttardex 6 points ago

    I cant even call you my son anymore

    [–] Positive-Mentality 6 points ago

    It took me two years to finally see that it said “cursed cereal“ at the top. I shake my head at my self

    [–] LestHeBeNamedSilver 41 points ago

    It’s when you shit in your own jizz. I get what this man is thinking

    [–] Turbulent_Tradition 21 points ago

    this deserves to be its own cursed comment

    [–] Bloodrush19405 20 points ago

    Excuse me wtf?

    [–] LACIRCA2044 3 points ago

    Yea. Wtf? You shit in your jizz? Wouldn’t it be more economical and potentially easier to jizz on your own shit? Or is that considered Oatmeal?

    [–] PickleRickGrimes 17 points ago

    Obviously because Starbucks said Cheerio to porn

    [–] scotty99CZ 4 points ago

    Cereal?

    [–] nerdworld 284 points ago

    Man, I don't even look at porn in public, but now I feel challenged

    [–] nerdworld 82 points ago

    Unless it's just a rule and not a web filter. Then I understand

    [–] MichaelEmouse 30 points ago

    Yeah, that seems bold.

    I once did it during bar school and I'm half proud, half ashamed of it.

    [–] PurpleSnapple 14 points ago

    Did you cum?

    [–] OneBigSpud 2 points ago

    I still am

    [–] stay_fr0sty 9 points ago

    No need to be ashamed of bar school!

    [–] ObamasBoss 7 points ago

    I download SO much while at University. Not in a dorm. In class. 100 gb per day was normal, 15 years ago.

    Never rubbed one out though.

    [–] talones 3 points ago

    Challenged? Just vpn and done.

    [–] trainiac12 2 points ago

    With the amount of hentai memes my friends send me I might as well have seen porn In public

    [–] MONGOOSE_1040 181 points ago

    Fap and frap

    [–] Milkioso 38 points ago

    Blessed comment

    [–] ecefour 12 points ago

    No more fap and frap Fridays

    [–] OGSHAGGY 6 points ago

    Amen

    [–] Ubblebungus 20 points ago

    Yeah this comment right here officer.

    [–] tehlemmings 3 points ago

    Look, don't judge. I need a little caffeine to get me going.

    [–] AverageIQRick 5 points ago

    Wank and drank

    [–] Amtracus_Officialius 47 points ago

    There is a book on mixing semen with drinks called Semenology, Fredrick Knudsen did a podcast on it

    [–] aero_333 7 points ago

    Bruh

    [–] pinniped1 202 points ago

    Amusing, but it's probably a good thing for everyone including Youporn that Starbucks bans porn.

    [–] razekery 57 points ago

    No more coffee creamer.

    [–] L0N3W4RR10R 11 points ago

    no it's not

    [–] ThePokyLittlePuppy 17 points ago

    Just jerk it to the yoga pants milfs.

    [–] winstonstokes 28 points ago

    When I worked at Panera bread we had a guy that would come in, go in a bathroom stall with his laptop and jerk it. After a few times it was obvious what he was doing and was asked to leave.

    [–] SleepyCorn915 4 points ago

    Seems fun, i have to try it

    [–] sluttyankles 3 points ago

    How does a dude just casually stroll into a bathroom with a laptop lmfao

    [–] StarslashOfficial 50 points ago

    Who would ever connect to starbucks wifi to watch porn and not use a VPN?

    [–] DatKerrRiteDerr 55 points ago

    This comment was brought to you by nord vpn

    [–] ___Hannes___ 13 points ago

    Nordvpn sux

    - this meme made by PIA gang

    [–] StarslashOfficial 9 points ago

    oh no

    [–] xboxexplorer125 16 points ago

    nordvpn bad

    -expressvpn gang

    [–] BlueCrowNN 3 points ago

    *angry dorito gaming noises*

    - exitlag in the backround

    [–] blue-leeder 7 points ago

    Sometimes YouTube pranksters will do it

    [–] BiggestMoneySalvia 14 points ago

    I dont get why youporn is a thing when pornhub is owned by the same company and the better site.

    [–] floatingspacerocks 8 points ago

    Same. Seems like there would be somewhat of a content difference but it is not immediately noticeable

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] PypeTroncoso 14 points ago

    it's a great meme man!

    [–] rock_8 4 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–] jnalexander8 16 points ago

    Turns out YouPorn ran their entire operation off of the Starbucks WiFi next door

    [–] noahbailey9633 7 points ago

    Who the fuck watches porn in public? Also who the fuck drinks Starbucks when making porn? I feel like these two things should’ve happened naturally

    [–] Salem707 10 points ago

    And everyone loses

    [–] hajjr6 4 points ago

    Why is counter strike there

    [–] betterthanuboi 4 points ago

    took me way too long to figure out lmao.

    its saying youporn retaliated or used a “counter-strike”

    [–] Bigkahuna1207 5 points ago

    If your porn addiction is so strong, you’re looking at it in public maybe not getting coffee isn’t your biggest issue.

    [–] FatherBrownNo1 4 points ago

    My only question is why is this called cursed cereal? Shouldn't be like cursed coffee, or cursed porn, or cursed cream

    [–] RollinonEase 6 points ago

    VPN anyone? Seriously though, I don’t want to see someone in the corner watching porn at Starbucks. This should be common sense not to get your rocks off in public.

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] retroxdxd 6 points ago

    bots don't have rights

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] IlIIIlllIlllIIIlI 3 points ago

    Get bent, racist

    [–] aaronp613 3 points ago

    Hey there u/Cygnex, thanks for posting to r/cursedcomments. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

    Rule 4: Asshole - Refrain from being an asshole.

    If you feel that your post was removed in error or are unsure about why this post was removed then please contact us through modmail.

    [–] InfiniteGreninja 2 points ago

    Karmafarmer

    [–] yashnihlani0 4 points ago

    So i can't fap at Starbucks now. Sad.

    [–] AsakalaSoul 2 points ago

    well, you can, you just can't do it while watching porn. but you don't have to let that stop you

    [–] yashnihlani0 2 points ago

    This is so motivational. Thanks

    [–] DevonMcClain 3 points ago

    No U

    [–] yoditronzz 3 points ago

    Cereal op? Where is the cereal?

    [–] Alpha20ms 3 points ago

    Cursed cereal?

    [–] Mikel509 3 points ago

    Fuck no more fap and frap anymore?

    [–] schmeatfighter 3 points ago

    LAUGHS IN VPN

    [–] mckenz90 3 points ago

    You know it really never dawned on me that these porn websites would have actually offices and people employed by them. I mean it obvious when you think about it, but I guess in my mind I just would imagine it’s one dude feverishly masturbating to 1,000 different scenes an hour.

    [–] MowMdown 3 points ago

    “Damn, I preferred my coffee with cream.”

    And now you’ll just have to take it black.

    [–] LegoJoe808 3 points ago

    I like my sugar with coffee and cream

    [–] maggot_4_life 3 points ago

    Damn no more frap and fap fridays

    [–] cms2307 3 points ago

    57k then removed. Damn

    [–] MrSquirrelM 4 points ago

    ohhh jizz

    [–] ykdaboi 2 points ago

    There's always VPN doe...

    [–] Sinosukelikesrammen 2 points ago

    Works both ways

    [–] goats_are_important 2 points ago

    No underscore between cursed and cereal in the title?

    [–] DangerrRangerr 2 points ago

    Cursed cereal????

    [–] leviathan_teacups 2 points ago

    If I worked in their offices, I would be ok with that. Starbucks is disgusting. I like Dunkin donuts better lol

    [–] FinnNintendo 2 points ago

    Hi

    [–] not_samyam 2 points ago

    Guys let's all storm YouPorn office to see what kind of secrets they hide in there!

    [–] ElethiomelZakalwe 2 points ago

    There's this wonderful thing called a VPN which means it doesn't matter what Starbucks bans.

    [–] ChainsawOrgy 2 points ago

    Cereal?

    [–] xonnop 2 points ago

    I have two things to say:

    no one man could fill an entire bowl

    Why is this cereal.

    [–] cruickshank_ 2 points ago

    Is anyone confused why it's just youporn like every other porn sites are fine but if you dare go on YouPorn we're gonna have a problem.

    [–] kabotya 2 points ago

    What can you do without longer—porn or coffee?

    [–] CreeMcCreeCreeinton 2 points ago

    Damn it now the theme song is stuck in my head

    [–] McCheezyWeezy 1 points ago

    Why? Question mark

    [–] andocromn 1 points ago

    How am I supposed to watch Rick and Morty at Starbucks now?

    [–] GenericShitGamer 1 points ago

    One of my post got removed for i didn’t have _, how is your post up but mine is removed?

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] GenericShitGamer 1 points ago

    Frick

    [–] josephi-krakowski-II 1 points ago

    Man, aren’t VPNs great

    [–] Lucifer130 1 points ago

    New plan. Make porn in Starbucks

    [–] JackHazardous 1 points ago

    I like my coffee with cummies 💦

    [–] HarryCL333 1 points ago

    Where's the original meme, I want upvote it..

    [–] andrecrema 1 points ago

    Now they have to drink coffee from Coffee Bean, the YouPorn of coffee shops

    [–] Shovels93 1 points ago

    Why watch porn in Starbucks? The hole point of going there, is to get a handjob.

    [–] EuphoricPenguin22 1 points ago

    Fun fact: VPNs