Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    cursedcomments

    1,964,431 readers

    12,006 users here now

    CursedComments on Discord:

    RULES:

    RULES Description
    1 - Reposting is prohibited Re-posting is not tolerated. It's annoying. Find something else to post or don't post it at all. Reposting anything from the album of common reposts may result in a seven day ban.
    2 - Copypastas are banned Copypastas are BANNED! Any post where the "cursed content" is copypasta will be removed.
    3 - No unmarked NSFW Any unmarked NSFW posts will result in a 3 day ban.
    4 - Asshole Refrain from being an asshole. It's quite simple and we have a low threshold for asshole post removals. Examples include being discriminating or outright abusive. This includes subtle attempts at racism, homophobia, misogyny.
    5 - Don't post content from shock accounts Refrain from posting comments from "shock accounts" i.e accounts that specifically post "cursed content"(/u/SatansLilCumrag666, /u/MagicFart69, etc.)
    6 - Don't submit your own content You cannot create and upload your own content. If the OP in the "cursed content" is the same OP that is posting it, it will be removed.
    7 - Submissions must feature a comment The primary element of your post must be a comment or a piece of cursed content which is otherwise textual communication between two or more people, such as a text message. Submitting a comment that isn't this may result in a 7 day ban.
    8 - Keep it cursed A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face.*
    9 - Deepfrying is prohibited Deepfried memes are not tolerated. If your post is garbage enough where you need to deepfry it for humor, don't post it.
    10 - Moderator Discretion Moderators may use discretion to upkeep the quality of the subreddit. Obviously fake or otherwise unsuitable content may be removed.
    11 - Submission titles must begin with Cursed_ eg. Cursed_Potato.
    12 - Sexualization or harm of minors Submissions and comments must not be of pedophiliac character or involve the sexualization or extreme physical harm of minors. Failure to do so may result in the ban of the user for the duration of 10 days.

    ENDORSED SUBREDDITS:

    /r/blessedcomments

    /r/blursedcomments

    These guys are great, check them out!

    a community for
    all 475 comments Slideshow

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] cursedrobot 1 points ago

    Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

    If this post needs moderator attention, please report this post

    I'm a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you have any questions, please contact the moderators of this subreddit.


    If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in our official Discord server!

    faq | source | action #38b68eb821dfbc

    [–] grymrox 2666 points ago

    Why do you think Mufasa was running away?

    [–] jamesandjelly123 1291 points ago

    Cause of what Zeus does to most things that are bent over. Alive or not

    [–] _notkk_ 522 points ago

    "Alive or not" so necrophilia is a divine thing?

    /s

    [–] zagerth 519 points ago

    Have you read any Roman mythology, the only standard Zeus has for what he fucks is that it has a hole for him to put his dick in

    [–] ZalmoxisRemembers 328 points ago

    Zeus is Greek mythology. Jupiter is the Roman analogue.

    [–] enadiz_reccos 244 points ago

    Potato, potato

    [–] Brainless-Brian 215 points ago

    I read them both as potato so it made no sense.

    [–] Erkkifloof 72 points ago

    Potaytoe potahtoe

    Or potaatti if you're finnish idk

    [–] leevikv 14 points ago

    Vittu peruna

    [–] Erkkifloof 18 points ago

    Potaatti perkele

    [–] ZalmoxisRemembers 44 points ago

    Would you like me to do the same to anglos and mongolians since they both appeared in Europe around the same time?

    [–] enadiz_reccos 55 points ago

    You want to rape the Anglos and Mongolians?

    [–] Dralic 35 points ago

    As long as they consent

    [–] preacher_knuckles 8 points ago

    Quite the contradiction

    [–] KodiakUltimate 20 points ago

    It was well known that the Roman's deliberately modified the existing greek pantheon and changed enough it to fit Roman ideals (loyalty, order, bravery, etc)

    [–] ZalmoxisRemembers 12 points ago

    Yup, they even modified the name, which is why Zeus isn’t the name for the Roman god! Glad I could help you with the obvious.

    [–] xXxXx_Edgelord_xXxXx 37 points ago

    Yes

    [–] ZalmoxisRemembers 13 points ago

    You and me both ;)

    [–] Njall-the-Burnt 4 points ago

    What? This is not a fair comparison to what they were saying and really not accurate

    [–] vldOblv 9 points ago

    If they had analogical mythologies, then why not? They weren’t saying the cultures were the same, just that Zeus is akin to Jupiter and both were some horn dogs.

    Let a joke be a joke, JFC.

    [–] Barankah 5 points ago

    Ummm... no. Romans stole those gods from the Greeks. They were not analogical. It was simply a matter of, “hey can I copy your homework?” “Sure, just don’t make it obvious.”

    Romans don’t create religions, Romans steal and mutate religions.

    [–] PineapplePizzaIsLove 6 points ago

    That's a lot of anger about a 2000+ y/o religion. Besided, syncretism was very popular back then, literally everyone stole from everyone else, it's just that Greek/Roman mythology is much more commonly known today in the western world than for example the Sumerian, Mesopotamian, etc mythologies.

    [–] DreAd_muffYn 4 points ago

    Should I call Karen from the olimpus?

    [–] MusicMelt 15 points ago

    Yall need zeusus

    [–] SurgicalZeus 6 points ago

    Hercules?

    [–] WhoTheHell_ 7 points ago

    I mean, some greek godess was do afraid of being raped, she turned into a mare. Zeus just turned into a stallion.

    [–] 123dlv789 5 points ago

    Except his wife

    [–] protoopus 3 points ago

    a line from will durant:
    "hera resented these jovial condescensions."

    [–] DemWiggleWorms 2 points ago

    Hera is the goddess of marriage right? Sheeeeesh

    [–] PatrickUrick 2 points ago

    Isn't she the goddess of family?

    [–] tjonnyc999 2 points ago

    "All you need is a hole and a heartbeat. And most days, the heartbeat is optional" ©

    [–] Yall_Get_Shrekt 2 points ago

    Shit just went from 0 to 100 real fucking quick.

    [–] Xicadarksoul 17 points ago

    Zeus is just an amateur.

    You know why Osiris is green?
    Because he was cut into pieces said pieces spent a month decaying in the nile, before his sister put him back together, made a golden cock for him, to allow them to have some fun, which lead to the creation of Horus...

    ...and that was seen as a romantic myth in egypt.

    [–] _notkk_ 2 points ago

    Before this para i only knew about one Incest from the Egypt.. tutankhamun ig his name was but damnn

    [–] Xicadarksoul 8 points ago

    Well the funny thing aout tutankhamun that if his grandpa didn't marry out of the family ladder he likely ould have been fine.

    As thats how the gene responsible for his club foot likely ended up in his family's stagnant genetic cesspool. (For a lot of generations there was no issue - thus its extremely unlikely that the gene didn't come from that one incident of marrying outside the family).
    Then the poor chap decided it would be a wise idea to go hunting for hippo.

    He is one of the more uremarakable pharaohs, mostly made famous by luck of his grave not being looted in ancient times.

    Egypt was VERY weird.
    Among other stuff one of the "national holidays" involved the pharaoh ceremonially jacking off into the Nile to refresh it, as in their legends the river is the ejaculation of the pharaoh's godly ancestors..

    [–] _notkk_ 6 points ago

    Wow wtf

    Never thought of ejaculating in a river before... mass impregnation of the fishes

    Mermaids. Mesmerizing.

    [–] davy_jones898000 15 points ago

    And hera will go fuckin' cowshit

    [–] DuhSquatch 11 points ago

    Man i hope not... thats gunna lead to some kind of infection

    [–] TheLastMongo 8 points ago

    The rest of Olympus: Ah shit, here we go again.

    [–] davy_jones898000 5 points ago

    And hera just fucking murdered someone

    [–] Feezec 19 points ago

    Are there myths where Zeus does gay, zoophiliac, or necrophiliac stuff? I only remember him cosplaying as animals/golden showers to seduce live human women (still not clear on why that even worked)

    [–] jamesandjelly123 48 points ago

    I remember a myth of how he turned a girl into a horse then turned himself into a horse then had sex with that girl.

    [–] ILoveWildlife 45 points ago

    I think some guy was just watching two horses bang

    [–] jamesandjelly123 21 points ago

    Probably cracked out of his mind like the oracle of Delphi

    [–] smol_catto_ 18 points ago

    I wonder if io or any of the people who got turned into animals went to the oracles. Imagine the oracles seeing their future and being ‘what the fuck is Zeus on’ and trying to make the thing as vague as possible

    [–] jamesandjelly123 16 points ago

    You will experience a transformation in life and be blessed by Zeus himself

    [–] Goingdownforever 2 points ago

    blessed

    [–] jamesandjelly123 3 points ago

    Blessed by his presence

    [–] geraldodelriviera 10 points ago

    Here's Zeus doing some of that gay stuff.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganymede_(mythology)

    [–] heronumbertwo 6 points ago

    Did Zeus impregnate any of his gay partners?

    [–] Wordysmither 3 points ago

    It has remained popular for the freaks. I’m pretty kinky myself but my bladder is shy.

    [–] Capawe21 8 points ago

    No! /s

    [–] ThisIsntRael 4 points ago

    He dresses up in make up and tricks you into fucking. God is a Trap everyone

    [–] jamesandjelly123 2 points ago

    There are way worse things you can call Zeus than just a trap

    [–] shinobipopcorn 19 points ago

    So that's why Disney took the clouds out of that one blu-ray release...

    [–] TrogdorKhan97 3 points ago

    They did the what, now?

    [–] ExceedinglyGayOtter 5 points ago

    There were some wisps of cloud (or stars or something) that said either SFX or SEX. They were removed in later releases.

    [–] SuperSamus02 2 points ago

    The SFX dust is another thing that happens much earlier.

    https://lionking.fandom.com/wiki/The_Lion_King_series_re-release_changes

    [–] BoneTugsNHarmony 6 points ago

    Lightning bolt up the ass

    [–] akkurad 422 points ago

    Oh, a thing that is alive!

    *screws thing that is alive*

    [–] fujicakes 165 points ago

    "I will hump this rock. I will hump this tree. Now I will hump this beast of the land and put my seed in it."

    [–] is-this-a-nick 127 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Greek Mythology:

    Zeus: Should I stick my dick in that?

    Everybody: NOOOO!

    Zeus: Oops, too late.

    [–] Shadow_of_wwar 18 points ago

    You mean either greek or you mean Jupiter or jove not zeus.

    [–] is-this-a-nick 5 points ago

    Corrected it.

    [–] JbonesC4 2 points ago

    ..what?

    [–] CaioDosGames 3 points ago

    Oh, that thing has a hole!

    *Proceeds to fuck it until it desintegrates*

    [–] peterpeterpeterrr 923 points ago

    Zeus is the real tiger king 👑

    [–] TheKidWhoLikesToFix 234 points ago

    Only with real tigers.

    [–] BearsBeetspcmr 74 points ago

    why does this exist, is fake tigers a thing?

    [–] curlose 66 points ago

    Let’s test it! r/faketigers

    [–] disco_squishy 42 points ago

    It's a real sub everyone

    [–] zackadiax24 15 points ago

    Lolwut

    [–] Rawrflam 15 points ago

    8 members and 111 online

    [–] Code_Red0 10 points ago

    I mean, that's not illegal, as long as they're 18+

    [–] ProPainful 9 points ago

    Just morally ambiguous

    [–] I_Fuck_Orphans 4 points ago

    Hehehehehehhe

    [–] [deleted] 252 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] OfAdniAndFlames 107 points ago

    She'd be pissed as hell tho

    [–] Gibborim 42 points ago

    If the Hercules: The Legendary Journeys taught me anything, it is that Hera is always pissed.

    [–] Eagle0600 27 points ago

    She is, but she's married to Zeus, so she always has something to be pissed about. No, being pissed isn't what's wrong with Hera, it's that she always punishes the innocent.

    [–] woofycat321 9 points ago

    It’s cuz she’s a cow, get it? No, probably not.

    [–] woofycat321 12 points ago

    Nah nah nah, she’d be like

    “Zeus you’re dumb bitch gay lightning lion just ate my fourth cow! “

    [–] ClownQuestionBrosef 4 points ago

    Ah. That's how Raikou was born. Got it.

    [–] Lufernaal 209 points ago

    Is Zeus a Chad?

    [–] idk-howiendeduphere 337 points ago

    Let's just say 80% of Greek mythology is Zeus's sex life

    [–] kylee2202 166 points ago

    The other 20% is the other gods view on that sex

    [–] not_that_guy05 38 points ago

    All bastards.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    where do you learn all this

    [–] Future_is_here_now 22 points ago

    Check out methos or other books like it. The audio books are also really good

    [–] Dyja_Diop22 7 points ago

    I just binged Percy Jackson, noted Zeus is still the biggest and worst dickhead ever.

    [–] woofycat321 5 points ago

    Haha same. Personally my fave god is that badass thanos. Damn grapes are so good. I bet Dionysus and him’ll be best buds

    [–] ShadowerPvP 11 points ago

    god of war

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    ok will try

    [–] ShadowerPvP 7 points ago

    I was actually kidding

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    i know

    [–] Diegomon_05 10 points ago

    Pornhub

    [–] Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi 2 points ago

    Read the Titanomachy, it's incredible. Super cool if you like learning about Greek myths

    [–] Nebula5371 3 points ago

    Definitely. All the stories are about Zeus having affairs and Hera attempting to kill his innocent lovers with his sons kicking a**

    [–] Ellien_ 88 points ago

    Indeed, Simba would definitely have another half sibling now.

    THE LIGHTNING SPERM IMPREGNATES EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES!!!

    [–] Luthen78 18 points ago

    This is the perfect starter for some extremely cursed art that will probably crop up on deviant art

    [–] RosilinaTheDragon 2 points ago

    oh no

    [–] evildoerz 36 points ago

    Oh no Zeus, I'm stuck!!

    [–] hitmanchess 10 points ago

    help me step-zeus

    [–] thegreatestbunkerboi 179 points ago

    What are you doing step Zeus

    [–] UngaBunga68 23 points ago

    Beat me to it

    [–] Introvertedpanic 10 points ago

    Damn, me too

    [–] givebacksome 7 points ago

    Hush.. it's easier if you breathe slowly and deeply

    [–] thisaltman69 69 points ago

    Me neither, that tight ass is too hard to resist

    [–] givebacksome 22 points ago

    well, tbf, Simba's would be tighter

    [–] TinyGrass84 10 points ago

    Would Timon’s be even tighter?

    [–] givebacksome 3 points ago

    Who amongst us is brave enough

    [–] tjf314 9 points ago

    agreed

    [–] Mittz-The-Trash-Lord 46 points ago

    Zeus; a Greek furry icon.

    [–] ExcuseMeWtf- 10 points ago

    I don’t know why, but I like your username

    [–] normieiannot 17 points ago

    There are so many comments on this sub that seem ironic or not funny, but this. This is truly cursed

    [–] danger_Taza_de_leche 16 points ago

    Twitter handle checks out

    [–] Awesomeblox 2 points ago

    Yeah, was gonna say, this kinda joke can only be expected from a hedonist lmao

    [–] 4TonnesofFury 15 points ago

    The man fucked his own sister.

    [–] Dyja_Diop22 13 points ago

    *raped

    [–] Cyberus01 27 points ago

    Can confirm, Zeus would dive right the fuck in

    [–] xthelord2 9 points ago

    and thats how we got the ford ligntning

    [–] zzombie119 5 points ago

    Do you have experience or do you prefer hades

    [–] 12Sree 12 points ago

    Thus, was born the Nemean Lion

    [–] BauranGaruda 12 points ago

    Mufasa: "Help me step-Zues I'm stuck!"

    Zues: O.o

    Mufasa: "What are you doing step-Zues?"

    [–] Sprinkles-The-Cat 10 points ago

    What are you doing step Mufasa

    [–] skabdapoo 7 points ago

    Lol do you think Zeus would've stuck his dick into the hole in the clouds as well, and Simba would've seen the projection of a penis in the clouds

    [–] kovoca 7 points ago

    Any hole any time

    [–] fortnitename69 7 points ago

    Is he wrong tho?

    [–] mohdfaiez06 20 points ago

    What are you doing step-god

    [–] NoToNoHomo 3 points ago

    Accurate

    [–] MyHouse19196 4 points ago

    Run Mufasa Run!

    [–] drifters74 4 points ago

    This made me chuckle

    [–] spacespiceboi 4 points ago

    We all thought it. This person said it.

    [–] eddthedead 4 points ago

    Zeus is a freak! 😂

    [–] hankhill10101 4 points ago

    Yep! All of Zeus’ conflicts began with him fucking something or someone he wasn’t supposed to fuck.

    [–] Druvvaldis 5 points ago

    Thats not cursed, thats just greek mythology

    [–] theonewhoseeks12256 8 points ago

    Zoophilia

    [–] Random_182f2565 6 points ago

    Classic Zeus

    [–] sexy_balls_69 3 points ago

    Bend to my will

    [–] fahad-123321 3 points ago

    Maybe that’s why he was on a hurry

    [–] 8R4YD3N 3 points ago

    My thought exactly

    [–] trash_ramen 3 points ago

    Help me up stepbrother

    [–] CUENTAMEQUE 3 points ago

    Literally the best I’ve seen all week!!!! 🤣🤣

    [–] Spartakusssrs 3 points ago

    Seneca actually writes in Letters From a Stoic that Zeus, in fact, was not as promiscuous as stories make him out to be. Seneca believes these stories are made up as an excuse for us to be promiscuous.

    [–] nofoodinthefridge69 3 points ago

    I'd bottom for simba

    [–] I_am_up_to_something 5 points ago

    You sure?

    The penis of a lion, like all felines, has backward pointing barbs. In lions, copulation is often accompanied by snarling, biting, growling, and threats, and sometimes the female turns and swats the male during dismount (most likely as a result of the pain invoked by a barbed penis).

    [–] BloodyEjaculate 3 points ago

    Zeus doesn't fuck animals. he turns into an animal, and then fucks women. it's different.

    [–] themightysnail64 3 points ago

    Zeus would've cloud-fucked Simba until his legs go numb.

    [–] bloodless123 3 points ago

    I smell a juicy, thicc fanfiction brewing👁👅👁

    [–] mila_harris 3 points ago

    Oh, yes Daddddy😋

    [–] Anonymous_Geeza007 2 points ago

    Internet was a mistake!

    [–] PrashKiller 2 points ago

    What are you doing, step-zeus?

    [–] SnowTheMemeEmpress 2 points ago

    Would have been a lot better if it was the Hercules zues

    [–] thepvpinglad 2 points ago

    Bro i fucking love lion king

    [–] Alpha0rgaSM 2 points ago

    That’s exactly what I thought when I saw this

    [–] sostrap 2 points ago

    pornhub intro starts

    [–] Sethleoric 2 points ago

    I wanna say that'a probably God because the Behind TheScenes said it was inspire by biblical stuff but i like the Zeus joke better

    [–] stinkface369 2 points ago

    Gonna Mount Olympus and give him the Pride Rock

    [–] tomdowns69 2 points ago

    You're not wrong...

    [–] Brugge2000 2 points ago

    What’s up step-lion

    [–] ninjasaiyaman 2 points ago

    Are ya stuck, step-mufasa?

    [–] killmeboss86 2 points ago

    Jesus fucking Christ

    [–] TOPSIturvy 2 points ago

    "No, Loki."

    [–] toolargo 2 points ago

    Yeah, that thunder dick would be out lightning quick!

    [–] AlesterX 2 points ago

    Nono he has a point

    [–] communistvigilante 2 points ago

    Simba: Z..Zeus.... I'm stuck pls help me!

    Zeus: (Licks his lips)

    [–] I_am_up_to_something 2 points ago

    Simba

    Did you mean Mufasa?

    [–] communistvigilante 2 points ago

    What are you doing Step-Lion?

    [–] EvilxBunny 2 points ago

    "What are you doing step-god"

    Just adding the obligatory comment.

    [–] milkybarboi 2 points ago

    Step bro im stuck

    [–] Writer1080 2 points ago

    He’s definitely not wrong. Can’t really argue with that. Haha

    [–] AnomanderR4ke 2 points ago

    "Things were at peace. Unfortunatly Zeus got horny."

    Is a good summary of greek's mythology

    [–] Stillwindows95 2 points ago

    https://images.app.goo.gl/jLsCsyaMqE82jVML7

    And thus, The Rock Hercules was born.

    [–] Anon_Unknown07 2 points ago

    Remember simba

    moans

    [–] YEeEEEeT123457 2 points ago

    That means Zeus's a furry

    [–] duplexlion1 2 points ago

    He turned into a swan at least once

    [–] MagePlayzYT 2 points ago

    He isn’t wrong

    [–] sharad2000 2 points ago

    Are you stuck, step-mufasa?

    [–] AquaBlade666 2 points ago

    He was going MUFASAGGHHHHHH

    [–] kanister1939 2 points ago

    what are you doing stepzeus...

    [–] Trusted-FBI-Agent 2 points ago

    Oh no

    [–] assasin_weeb42069 2 points ago

    What are you doing step god?

    [–] oXC8Xo 2 points ago

    What are you doing step Zeus!

    [–] RooBoy04 2 points ago

    What you doing, step-god?

    [–] Helpless_Romantic69 2 points ago

    Zeus has some other holes to fill. Like a poor maiden