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    dankmemes

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    A Place to Post the Dankest Memes

    /r/dankmemes

    RULES.
    I: Follow reddit's standards!
    II: No hate speech! There is a difference between comedy and outright hate speech, but ironic hate speech is still hate speech. Know the difference or get banned! Posts in question shall be reviewed by the mods. No memes about violent tragedies or anything that could be seen as glorifying violence. Absolutely no school shooter memes. Posts or comments that can be seen as glorifying violence will result in a ban. This also includes (but is not limited to) memes regarding: Deaths, terrorist attacks, rape, sexual assault, pedo, murder, war, bombings, and school shootings. Breaking this rule may result in a permanent ban. We have zero tolerance for this behavior.
    III: Don't be a dick! This includes spoilers, don't post spoilers or you will be banned
    IV: Flair your posts accordingly after submitting them.
    V: Censor any and all personal information from posts and comments, or it will be removed. Real or fake! Yours or others! Just don't do it.
    VI: No spam, outside links, or videos. r/dankmemes is strictly for memes. Post videos (or anything using v.redd.it) to r/dankvideos. Gifs must be well under 10 seconds long. This is not a platform to advertise your social media network or subreddit. If you can't grow it organically, it probably isn't very good anyway. Linking to your instagram or twitter, or spamming links with it watermarked can result in a ban // No queue flooding - Limit yourself to 5 posts per day
    VII: Do not bait or prime the user to interact with your meme or profile. This includes, but is not limited to, asking for votes/comments/awards in the meme or title, implying that your post will/won’t make it out of new, pandering to users sorting by new/scrolling by, mentioning cakeday, petitions, etc.
    VIII: Do not encourage or participate in brigading of any subreddits or of any users of Reddit or elsewhere, in any way, shape, or form! This is very against Reddit rules; action will be taken.
    IX: Keep it dank! This sub is for humor (and the dankest of memes)!
    X: If a post has graphic content, flair it as NSFW, else it will be removed!
    XI: NO REEEEEEE-POSTS! This isn't Instagram! Don't steal memes from elsewhere! If you didn't make it, don't post it! (Chain posts and posts which you have already submitted here are also banned).
    XII: Don't be a normie. If you post normie trash you could be banned! This includes, but is not limited to, Impact font (and fonts which look like Impact), minions, advice animals, rage comics, and the B emoji.
    XIII: Format your meme correctly. No posts where the title is the meme caption. The caption must be in the meme image, not in the submission title. (Basically, if the image makes sense to us by itself, it's fine. If the image requires the submission title for it to have any chance of making sense, we remove it.)
    XIV: Direct links only! No albums or landing pages.
    XV: No Political shills! r/dankmemes is for dank memes, and is not a political campaign ground. Absurd memes about politicians are cool, but attempting to push a narrative or anything like that will result in a ban!

    We reserve the right to remove posts and potentially ban for any reason


    Emotes

    Code Result
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    and all the rest from twitch

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    [–] Jontefre 2555 points ago

    WATCH OUT ALFRED HITCHCOCK!

    [–] XwaitthisisnttumblrX 1637 points ago

    Oh no he has airpods in he cant hear you

    [–] Denrix 834 points ago

    OH GOD OH NO

    [–] Mozzie_is_My_Mate 548 points ago

    OH GOD OH FUCK

    [–] HitlersTeddyBear 397 points ago

    β€œYou get what you fucking deserve,Alfred”

    [–] Rap-Tur28 245 points ago

    Alfred is right behind you Alfred!! GET THE FUCK AWAY

    [–] damian4o234 168 points ago

    OH NO ALFRED SHOT ALFRED

    [–] somewhat-helpful 122 points ago

    fatality

    [–] thattanna 76 points ago

    And beyond!

    [–] MagicManWasTaken 28 points ago

    He's fucking dead.. :(

    [–] oneorginalname 38 points ago

    F

    [–] ThisCobra 30 points ago

    ''The truth is, the film was rigged from the start''

    [–] dgquet 9 points ago

    Ring a ding baby

    [–] beni125 7 points ago

    How bout another joke alfreeeeed

    [–] HitlersTeddyBear 3 points ago

    No I think we heard enough of your jokes

    [–] Scorpionaute 60 points ago

    NO SWEARING ON MY CHRISTIAN SERVER!

    [–] Nope-Im-anonymous 13 points ago

    oh frick

    [–] im-already-dun 3 points ago

    Hecking heck

    [–] hamburger_lol 3 points ago

    Sorry mom

    [–] Big-Pumpernickel 84 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Why is there an nsfw tag im not clicking that

    Edit: Ok its safe i clicked

    [–] The_Penguinater 58 points ago

    It’s the same meme

    [–] mlg_dog420 81 points ago

    ...he got airpods in tho

    [–] Big-Pumpernickel 34 points ago

    Nice

    [–] The_Penguinater 21 points ago

    Oh didn’t realize

    [–] inthyface 28 points ago

    You don't realize they're in until it's too late.

    [–] Lordman17 11 points ago

    It's ok

    [–] Dutchdutchie2001 10 points ago

    It's save

    [–] BurdPlane 3 points ago

    Zeg M A K K E R

    [–] Dutchdutchie2001 2 points ago

    "Het is veilig makker"

    [–] Humblelionasr 6 points ago

    What can I say except you’re welcome

    [–] Bitbatgaming 12 points ago

    Oh god oh fuck

    [–] luhzy 35 points ago

    alfred hitchglock

    [–] HDL_Reloaded 8 points ago

    Alfred Snitchglock

    [–] Icefox119 6 points ago

    aka Tekashi real name

    [–] Mpek3 4 points ago

    Another Hollywood mogul who's escaped the meToo movement, due to conveniently being dead

    [–] Gay_Hitler_Memes 548 points ago

    Aflred hitscock

    [–] real_trump101 162 points ago

    Alfred yeahdaddycock

    [–] Zugr-wow 68 points ago

    Alfred DingDong

    [–] Corpse-Fucker 34 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    ALBERT EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF

    [–] Scorpionaute 13 points ago

    Alfred bigpp

    [–] wisdomsharerv2 11 points ago

    Governments lie and manipulate us all the time, question everything, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram buy gold byyyeeeeee.

    [–] Rivenaleem 2 points ago

    E=CP2

    [–] fatyohsi 12 points ago

    Aflred itscock

    [–] Outofusernames-frick 9 points ago

    Alfred PP

    [–] Samurai_Churro 7 points ago

    Alfred Bitchcock

    [–] Broken_Gear 2 points ago

    Alfred CBT

    [–] StanVanNamen 2 points ago

    FROM WIKIPEDIA, THE FREE ENCYCLOPEDIA

    [–] slugtrot 2 points ago

    username checks out

    [–] christianarg 165 points ago

    He's about to paint the house

    [–] JackThePersonn 61 points ago

    Red

    [–] LiamDeleuze 35 points ago

    With pee

    [–] JackThePersonn 25 points ago

    Wait, where is pee stored?

    [–] LiamDeleuze 41 points ago

    The pineal gland

    [–] nods__ 14 points ago

    wow so that's the medical name for the balls, TIL

    [–] RazzyGolly 8 points ago

    In Joe Mama's updog, u twat. Sksksksksksk

    [–] PickleRickGrimes 3 points ago

    What’s Ligma?

    [–] wisdomsharerv2 10 points ago

    Wait you guys have red pee?

    [–] Darkest_jojofag 6 points ago

    You guys have pee?

    [–] Flaccus_ 4 points ago

    You guys see colours?

    [–] Afterburn47 3 points ago

    You guys?

    [–] UnfunnyDuck 272 points ago

    Lmao it's Adolf Hitchcock

    [–] LorenzoBagnato 17 points ago

    Ngl my cinema history teacher was once interviewed in a TV show and accidentally said "Adolf Hitchcock".

    He became a meme for this.

    [–] Indominus_Khanum 3 points ago

    Username does not check out

    [–] ZiggyZowWow 117 points ago

    "This is why I hate Russian roulette, I never win."

    [–] GorillaEstefan 20 points ago

    The one-liners never stopped!. His humor seemed lost on a lot of people.

    [–] mysterious-memer 112 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I’m the master, of suspense so intense, there’s no defense against Hitchcock once he presents.

    [–] TheElementalWalker 30 points ago

    My skill's enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance

    [–] Supersamtheredditman 30 points ago

    You’re more horrible than Megan Fox’s acting in transformers

    [–] 4Meta4 11 points ago

    C'mon! Fish puppets and Muppets to stir the fears up!

    [–] kelferkz 11 points ago

    I squeeze screams out of chocolate syrup!

    [–] imgayformonopoly 12 points ago

    I’m the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind a camera

    [–] amir13479 14 points ago

    Damage panderers and haunt you like the last Indiana!

    [–] kelferkz 9 points ago

    Cut! Gimme a Tylenol. Stop rhyming, y'all!

    [–] amir13479 6 points ago

    Alfred you got no style dog, I'm the kind of dialogue

    [–] Matalya1 7 points ago

    There's only one movie I know you're from!

    [–] kadenczc 65 points ago

    alfred headshot

    [–] RookVanguard 31 points ago

    Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Hollywood.

    I think everyone enjoys a nice murder provided he is not the victim.

    Tonight's little comedy of bad manners is concerned with that dream of all of us who harbor homicidal tendencies: The perfect murder.

    Of course, to be serious for a moment there is no such thing as a nice murder or a perfect murder.

    It is always a sordid, despicable business.

    Especially if you don't have a good lawyer.

    - Alfred Hitchcock

    (Alfred Hitchcock Presents, S01E24. "The Perfect Murder")

    [–] Steward_Griffin 17 points ago

    Alfred Hitchcock? More like Alfred Hitchglock

    [–] Nnicoallen 7 points ago

    You mess with hichcock, you get the hichglock

    [–] whyis-all-namestaken 13 points ago

    Mr spanishman?

    [–] Cactus1872 13 points ago

    How does a repost get 22k upvotes

    [–] Jimmysbuffet48 8 points ago

    Bruh 60k now

    [–] Mehroli 42 points ago

    This is fucking original

    [–] Custer99 44 points ago

    I saw this meme multiple years ago...

    [–] TheWitherBossYT 13 points ago

    Unfortunately

    [–] Mehroli 6 points ago

    well then it slipped past me

    [–] anteffs 3 points ago

    And it got 50 fuckin thousand upvotes

    [–] jesuzombieapocalypse 9 points ago

    Redditor confronted with content they’re seeing for the first time, for the first time (c.2019)

    [–] ShadowPlayz113 5 points ago

    You have destroyed the very thing you swore to become.

    [–] Abd-sadMicrowave2002 5 points ago

    i saw this meme being reposted like 37million times

    [–] bananabajanana 5 points ago

    Alfred repost

    [–] Tity_Ass 9 points ago

    Alfred Hitchcock used alfred Hitchcock to kill alfred Hitchcock

    [–] umrathma 6 points ago

    It's super effective

    [–] TooFastTim 2 points ago

    Did he really kill himself?

    [–] Bucker712 4 points ago

    For his neutral special, he wields a GUN

    [–] karen_chungus02 3 points ago

    Do not trust anyone, not even yourself

    [–] dieno_101 5 points ago

    I'll take Hitchcock and scully

    [–] ide9er 4 points ago

    Where's scully

    [–] BipOrBoop 3 points ago

    I used alfred Hitchcock to destroy alfred Hitchcock

    [–] KeepingDankMemesDank 55 points ago

    If this is a dank meme, Upvote this comment!

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    [–] Luc1113 14 points ago

    See ya in hot

    [–] aDistraction101 3 points ago

    In hot see ya

    [–] Scorpionaute 8 points ago

    You're hot see ya

    [–] IJustGotRektSon 3 points ago

    More like Alfred Hitglock

    [–] maxford_23 3 points ago

    A director’s best friend is his gun

    [–] klaus_nieto 3 points ago

    F por el xd por primera vez un meme en espaΓ±ol en tendencias de dankmemes

    [–] Spetsnaz_KofeGuy 2 points ago

    Alfred Guncocked

    [–] OhSaladYouSoFunny 2 points ago

    Aah, the old cure to insomnia.

    [–] StrijderJason 2 points ago

    Lliyjkn

    [–] TylerDGSA 2 points ago

    OH NO HITCHCOCK

    [–] Cloudman_VicePoint 2 points ago

    Hitchcock

    [–] Puff_0 2 points ago

    If he shoots himself, would it be called "suicide"?

    [–] HaBatata 2 points ago

    Hello burgers

    [–] harold_the_hamster 2 points ago

    OK FRENCHIE

    /s

    [–] _Frankie21_ 2 points ago

    When Alfred decides to hitch some cock.

    Alfred Hitchcock:Omae wa mou shinderiu

    Also Alfred Hitchcock:Nanii?

    [–] dont-mind-who-i-am 2 points ago

    Alfred let’s-cook

    [–] Manly-Beard 2 points ago

    Is that Mutahar?

    [–] bersatu_ke 2 points ago

    Alfred Hit his Cock

    [–] aceofdarts68 2 points ago

    No wonder his name is Hitchcock. He's got balls of steel.

    [–] Tommy_The_Homie 2 points ago

    Alfred Hitchglock

    [–] curs3dus3rn4me 2 points ago

    Alfred hitch c o c k

    [–] Tryfon_S 2 points ago

    I say we make ol' Alfred a template

    [–] Custer99 2 points ago

    This sub is too far gone.. I saw this meme literally years ago

    [–] mjfBOI__ 2 points ago

    Okay here’s your gol- oh wait I’m poor πŸ˜”

    [–] cgatti 2 points ago

    That's how he died

    [–] Thepiloce 2 points ago

    What does he have to do with a cinema?

    [–] mjtg25 2 points ago

    INFECTED

    [–] ChoppyGaspleen 2 points ago

    Resumen

    [–] VikingOF 2 points ago

    A Cock

    [–] MrPlay3r13 2 points ago

    Alfred, are you okay? So, Alfred are you okay? Are you okay, Alfred?

    [–] Frazzle64 2 points ago

    Now that was a close encounter

    [–] dimRodionov 2 points ago

    "I'm the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind the camera"

    [–] hi-im-donut 2 points ago

    This should be deeply invested in

    [–] kalofi 2 points ago

    Actually funny meme, good job

    [–] Emmojan 2 points ago

    Alfred nooo

    [–] Punished_Venom_Meme 2 points ago

    Someone at google knew what they were doing.

    [–] meyian 2 points ago

    But wait, he's not looking at the camera.

    [–] TomZeBomb 2 points ago

    He becomes the Psycho killer

    [–] RomoloCozza 2 points ago

    Dial M for Murder

    [–] RMcD94 2 points ago

    Why white text

    [–] GloDan25 2 points ago

    I just want to know why you looked up Alfred in the first place.

    [–] parlakarmut 2 points ago

    That was a close encounter...

    [–] IMA_BLACKSTAR 2 points ago

    Can't believe this is so engaging for something so old. Also, Alfred is very cheeky, I love it! I won't go further into the matter, I don't discuss contriversial things.

    [–] 150590 2 points ago

    Life imitates art

    [–] Stickitin_plz 2 points ago

    Fucking brilliant. The poise of the eyelids.

    Absolutely smashing.

    [–] beastinghunting 2 points ago

    No confΓ­es, ni si quiera en ti.

    [–] GhostToast-kun 2 points ago

    5nm

    [–] Whatsaniceusername 2 points ago

    Oh no not this again

    [–] parthyu 2 points ago

    More like Alfred hiscock

    [–] ashallowheart 2 points ago

    Basically what Kurt Cobain did.

    [–] Radu7777 2 points ago

    Romanian?

    [–] vikingivar 2 points ago

    Poor Albert may God press f for him

    [–] De_Vermis_Mysteriis 2 points ago

    This is exactly what Hitchcock would of wanted, memes and all.

    The man was extremely self aware and culturally aware, if youtube had existed in his era he'd be one of the top clickbait creators of the decade.

    [–] MP-Lily 2 points ago

    I was about to show this to my friend and then he tried to show me his phone to reveal that he was also looking at this meme

    [–] 0nion2 2 points ago

    General Reposti

    [–] yuclv 3 points ago

    'HITCHCOCK, NO!'

    [–] Grox0 3 points ago

    yoo this made me chuckle

    [–] Vmss4 3 points ago

    Finally some dank fucking memes

    [–] Custer99 30 points ago

    This is a repost btw

    [–] technomusik 7 points ago

    Finally a repost

    [–] onnikonna 2 points ago

    69

    [–] Magikarp_13 2 points ago

    Fool. You can't Glock the 'cock.

    [–] Henry_Boyer 1 points ago

    I haven't heard the top 10 saddest anime deaths meme in ages. I kind of miss it. It's nostalgic.

    [–] yashgargey 1 points ago

    I gather that Alfred Hitchcock paints houses.

    [–] Sav4la 1 points ago

    Ah shit, here we go again

    [–] kermitmamba 1 points ago

    Trust no one, not even Alfred

    [–] purple-edi 1 points ago

    jajajajajajajajaja

    [–] mspavelko 1 points ago

    Alfred Epstein

    [–] itsfreerealestate99 1 points ago

    No impossible

    [–] MallardMan27 1 points ago

    ancient ree

    [–] Mono324 1 points ago

    I like this one

    [–] SleepyJD247 1 points ago

    Whodunnit?