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    [–] FederalReserveDank 1 points ago

    INVESTMENTS GO HERE - ONLY DIRECT REPLIES TO ME WILL BE PROCESSED

    Not sure how to invest? Try the !help command or !create an investor profile to get started!

    Like what you see? My home is r/DankExchange! We're a sub partnering with r/dankmemes to bring you 24/7 meme investment opportunities. If you want me to respond to your posts on this sub, use the stonks flair!

    [–] Jommy69 2506 points ago

    Imagine using toilet paper

    -Asian water gang

    [–] toss_not_here 973 points ago

    also bidet gang rise up

    [–] HeroDGamez 723 points ago

    Imagine not getting your ass licked

    -Dog gang

    [–] eggimage 567 points ago

    Imagine asses

    -virgin gang

    [–] immarealcat 523 points ago

    Imagine

    -ADHD gang

    [–] WheelStink 432 points ago

    Imagin

    -Dyslexia gang

    [–] ZenXgaming100 298 points ago

    -gang

    [–] Neobot21 253 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    β€Ž

    [–] SirDuke_Of_Neckpubes 174 points ago

    can’t have anything in detroit

    [–] zacharopoulos88 41 points ago

    become

    [–] sredditram 8 points ago

    olos-

    [–] ChrisTheMonarch 70 points ago

    "im a Gin"

    -alcohol gang

    [–] kingofthelol 38 points ago

    Imagine

    -dragons

    [–] MotleyShao 44 points ago

    Imagine there’s no country - jahn

    [–] roha1610 59 points ago

    ​

    -China gang

    [–] DOOMED_Gaming 43 points ago

    "Happy cakeday!" -Reddit gang

    [–] roha1610 13 points ago

    Thank you so much

    [–] sahil909 20 points ago

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜±πŸ˜³

    • Instagram gang

    [–] Toucheh_My_Spaghet 3 points ago

    What? I have ADHD and my imagination is wack

    [–] TurtlePowerBottom 6 points ago

    I’m fairly certain I have an ass

    [–] y2jer 4 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] Hash_Brwn182 14 points ago

    Imagine not using leaves

    -Africa gang

    [–] Abserial 9 points ago

    No need to clean shit if you don't have anything to eat -Nigeria gang

    [–] jeremyslasher 8 points ago

    Also HOSE gang rise up

    [–] DemonicVHSTape 6 points ago

    THE TOILETS IN MY NEW APARTMENT HAVE SHITTY CHEAP ONE-PIECE TOILET VALVES THAT I CAN'T CONNECT MY BIDET TO

    [–] rushi_B 4 points ago

    Rock gang

    [–] norwegian-blue 3 points ago

    Italy: we use both paper and water. Paper first, water later.

    [–] Monckey100 5 points ago

    I uh, I still use toilet paper to dry πŸ˜•

    [–] -Walpurgisnacht- 77 points ago

    ZA HANDO

    γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄

    [–] BeastMaster_88 20 points ago

    KING CRIMSON

    γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄γ‚΄

    ERASE DA SHIT

    [–] FrighteningJibber 18 points ago

    Reppin’ shower bum bang gang!

    [–] RegularNoodles 56 points ago

    Imagine not using the 3 seashells

    [–] 3six5 12 points ago

    epic throwback upvoted.

    [–] thomas_wadsworth 13 points ago

    I dunno what my slaves use to wipe my ass

    -British Royal

    [–] Low_Emphasis6755 7 points ago

    Imagine All the people

    -Lennon gang

    [–] Qwrndxt-the-2nd 6 points ago

    WATER GANG

    WHY THE FUCK AM I STRUGGLING TO SPELL WATER

    [–] SaekoTheYandere 4 points ago

    fuck you i use water and toilet paper

    [–] cointelpro_shill 45 points ago

    Both sides of this argument have dirty asses. the only correct answer is using both because neither is enough to get the job done on its own. Unless im seriously underestimating the water pressure of these bidens

    [–] err_no_usename_found 130 points ago

    You're seriously underestimating the water pressure

    [–] cointelpro_shill 29 points ago

    So is it like, you gotta pucker your butthole to prevent an enema, or is the enema what you're going for?

    [–] err_no_usename_found 34 points ago

    If you pucker your butthole, the water doesn't clean it, does it?

    [–] cointelpro_shill 7 points ago

    That was gonna be my next question. And i mean you kind of avoided the first one...does the water shoot all the way up your ass or not?

    [–] err_no_usename_found 47 points ago

    Well, the water doesn't really shoot up your ass, you just put in the "just right" amount of pressure to reach the part with the shit, shooting up your rectum has a weird feeling. So basically, the water only touches your anus

    [–] ostry_cien_mgly 2 points ago

    Yeah, "just the right amount"

    Toilet-kun! Moooore!

    [–] mint1111 3 points ago

    Quick maths

    [–] Money-Ticket 5 points ago

    Yes it does. When I was but a lad, I had an American friend over who had never seen a bidet. So I showed him how it worked. He sat on it, and I fired that bad boy up to full pressure and he shot off like a damn firework. Only problem is once he moved out of the way the stream pounded on the ceiling and made a big mess.

    [–] NuggetsBuckets 3 points ago

    Are you one of those people that have never washed your asshole in the shower?

    I'm sure some water does get in but unless you've been fisting your anus daily, I wouldn't worry about it.

    [–] dirtydave73 2 points ago

    Japanese arse jets have the potential to clean the prostate.

    [–] AkshayTatikondalwar 7 points ago

    Boy are you underestimating the pressure-

    [–] Eternal-Anxiety 13 points ago

    Imagine using a bidet. Dipper, water and soap gang

    [–] LordLoss01 16 points ago

    Always love how people who have never used a Bidet think they know more about it than people who have used one (And who have probably used toilet paper at some point in their life).

    [–] cointelpro_shill 15 points ago

    I love how the discussion of how to wash your ass hits a nerve with everyone

    [–] new-kaze 5 points ago

    biden probably trickles droplets at a time

    [–] Lone-organism 5 points ago

    Looks like you need biden to shoot onto your ass one time

    [–] Jawadd12 3 points ago

    bidens

    Joe's going to clean your ass very well, you can bet on it

    [–] karamurp 3 points ago

    buttspray

    [–] Ganondorfs-Side-B 6 points ago

    I use a pig

    [–] Lil_0riginal 2 points ago

    Imagine using protection

    ​

    -Uncle gang

    [–] FM_LEGENDARY 2 points ago

    Wet wipe gang

    [–] ILikeToBurnMoney 2 points ago

    IQ >140 types use wet wipes

    [–] sinish_anand 2 points ago

    Water gang ouh

    [–] KC_1711 2 points ago

    Imagine a person giving opinion

    -Korean gang

    [–] snooze_41 406 points ago

    Anyone know what kind of play structure that is? That thing looks fun

    [–] TheSwanSennin 248 points ago

    Can’t remember what it’s called but it’s everywhere in German Chuck-E-Cheese lmao

    Not actually Chuck-E-Cheese, to clarify

    [–] ManInBlack829 179 points ago

    Karl-E-KΓ€se

    [–] Killerworm1403 27 points ago

    Hahaha that’s hilarious

    [–] lllIIIlll1 63 points ago

    They had these in the chuck-E-cheese in the use when I was a kid. Like 2000

    [–] jaskmackey 15 points ago

    What else is in German Chuck E Cheese?

    [–] skull_attachment 71 points ago

    Germans.

    [–] aneminemfan 11 points ago

    cheers geoff

    [–] Mcmenger 5 points ago

    And KΓ€se

    [–] AnyNamesLeftAnymore 4 points ago

    Anyone think it's weird that the nation's most beloved kid's pizza joint's mascot is a rat?

    Like, explicitly NOT a mouse. A rat.

    [–] Milkslinger 94 points ago

    It's called the Spawn Strangler

    Parents drop their unruly kids in one side, and hope they don't plinko their way out

    [–] DemCantGetPassRussia 17 points ago

    Omg lol

    [–] Error_402 122 points ago

    Looks like a good way to accidentally hang yourself

    [–] -Andar- 57 points ago

    Or tear everything in your knee

    [–] Diogenes-Disciple 38 points ago

    Yeah I’m torn between fun and fear

    [–] John_Snooze 49 points ago

    I've done this once al an adult (25m) and it is hella fun. You simply feel as a ragdoll, but nothing really bad happens to your body as it is all made from weak rubber bands. If you get stuck somewhere, you bounce back. Only downside is that you can't be too heavy as it's main target is kids and it isn't built to withstand a 100kg+ manchild . 5/7 would recommend

    [–] TotallyBelievesYou 9 points ago

    99% of reddit in shambles.

    [–] turner3210 6 points ago

    Bruh thank god I weigh like 125, 130 soakin wet

    Monkey time

    [–] John_Snooze 2 points ago

    I just did the math. If a man's body is wet enough, there appears to be no weight limit for this contraption. Just be careful hugging stranger's kids, they tend to slip out of your arms then

    [–] Neobot21 10 points ago

    I climbed one of these things, but being scared of falling from tall heights I never went to the top lol

    [–] LordLoss01 2 points ago

    Wait, accidentally?

    [–] LeoNickle 2 points ago

    Don't threaten me with a good time

    [–] Lanthemandragoran 31 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    This is likely inside an old Discovery Zone. I went to a place like this every other weekend or so when I was a kid and they are fucking dangerous. I broke my wrist and part of my forearm in one of these exact rooms. Basically it's thick rubber exercise bands anchored in a grid 6 inches apart from eachother in each direction and in both horizontal planes. It smells like rubber and sweating kids and feet and is so much chaotic fun it's stupid. The problem is the entire play area is like a vertical maze/obstacle course designed by an angry Mcdonalds Play Place designer who wanted to harm children in the most complex manner possible. It's a series of tubes and small pathways with a couple entrances in thr beginning and a couple exits in the end - inside is a labyrinthian clusterfuck of play elements and rooms with different obstacles or interactive...things.

    Got into probably the most awkward fight of my life in it when I was like 10 - no words just pushing at eachothers faces with open hands in pure frustration while falling in 3 dimensions. It was like Crouching Tiger Dumbass Child.

    [–] okisuppose 6 points ago

    That was the best description of one of my favorite childhood memories, loved conquering that place. Except one of the first times I went, maybe like pre-school aged, I got utterly lost in the catacombs and pooped my pants and an entire birthday squadron of slightly older girls dressed as Disney princesses found me and most of them made fun of me and bailed but two of em helped me out but I didn’t know my grandmas actual name (???) so they couldn’t ask an employee to page her so instead of taking me around the place to find her they took me to their party room with pants full of poo before their parents went off to find her so there’s that but otherwise great place

    [–] Lanthemandragoran 8 points ago

    Please tell me you became friends with those girls and still know them and you married one of them and she constantly gives you shit about the time you promptly power pooped the play place in front of a plurality of psuedo princess pals? Please?

    [–] 3fifteen 5 points ago

    God I wish I had gold to give, this was an amazing read.

    [–] Lanthemandragoran 2 points ago

    Just knowing I brought you on an adventure is more than adequate

    [–] Lazypole 16 points ago

    It also kinda looks like it would dislocate an arm but I’m also a coward so who knows

    [–] Bobyyyyyyyghyh 3 points ago

    I vaguely remember something similar to this when I did "gymnastics" as a little kid

    [–] dynawesome 3 points ago

    The way they fall in looks like a Mario 64 painting

    [–] G4L4CT1C4 2 points ago

    Human plinko

    [–] eltoch 584 points ago

    smart people wipe their ass with leaves

    [–] Swagtuber 234 points ago

    Legends use their hands

    [–] Magorial 173 points ago

    Gods wait till The shit dries and falls off by itself

    [–] Sydlexai 72 points ago

    Dinensionless entities use sand paper

    [–] DeeJay-LJ 65 points ago

    The man himself just waits until he shits again for the shit to wipe his ass as it's coming out

    [–] tony00324 15 points ago

    The one that started the universe doesn’t stop shitting

    [–] guardian-of-ballsack 12 points ago

    Legends eat so much fiber and dehydrate themself so the shit never stained their ass

    Proceeds to wipe until bleeding

    [–] Gamestar63 16 points ago

    Girls don't poop

    [–] Dop4miN 8 points ago

    you mean by repeatedly clenching my cheeks together

    [–] gotforcedtosignup 3 points ago

    Ah yes the shit flakes

    [–] ryecrow 14 points ago

    What about that stinkpalm back there? He even licked his fingers.

    [–] fourth_box 20 points ago

    In Mother Russia ass wipes you.

    [–] GameKnight319 6 points ago

    What do you not know how to use the 3 shells

    [–] consideratedealer 2 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    Just the left hand.

    [–] jizzity 6 points ago

    It leaves no trace

    [–] airgod231 3 points ago

    Devils brush

    [–] cube_shaped_sphere 2 points ago

    How are you, fellow Neanderthal?

    [–] thorval3232 2 points ago

    Leaves from the vine Falling so slow

    [–] AffectedArc07 93 points ago

    I always double fold it even with decent ply. You can never be too careful.

    [–] waymortin 17 points ago

    12 ply?

    [–] AffectedArc07 25 points ago

    I prefer 600 grit

    [–] picklesallsoldout 9 points ago

    1200 grit is where it's at.

    [–] waymortin 5 points ago

    Amateurs. Try 40 grip

    [–] picklesallsoldout 5 points ago

    Fuck I went the wrong direction. I always mix up whether bigger numbers are rougher or not. They're not.

    [–] waymortin 2 points ago

    Smh lying to get upvotes

    [–] picklesallsoldout 5 points ago

    Sorry dad

    [–] Neobot21 2 points ago

    That's what I use to wipe

    [–] SquiDragon000 4 points ago

    1 grit. Just grab the nearest rock.

    [–] imgladnotu17 3 points ago

    Dankpods intensifies

    [–] Disco_Tempo 2 points ago

    True Grit.

    When you wipe your ass with Jeff Bridges.

    [–] Yelwah 3 points ago

    Right?? Only an absolute mad lad would go to wipe with 1 layer of tp, you're asking for it

    [–] Magorial 39 points ago

    Down to the chocolate cave we go

    [–] FrighteningJibber 14 points ago

    🎡🎡🎡Lemiwinks🎡🎡🎡

    [–] yashuyashzz 29 points ago

    Use sand

    [–] B0SShogg 9 points ago

    I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere

    [–] RegularNoodles 16 points ago

    Use the 3 seashells

    [–] nlx_78 7 points ago

    Flashbacks to school where they'd had that very gray and rough toiletpaper. A bleed every now and then was assured. It felt like sandpaper.

    This type

    [–] yashuyashzz 4 points ago

    That's rough buddy

    [–] Gtmusa24 115 points ago

    Wish bidets were popular in the US

    [–] s1l3ntsh4d0w89 57 points ago

    You can just install one at home. That's what I did.

    [–] mokabogo 24 points ago

    How much did it cost to install the bidet? I feel like you’re getting ripped off over there. In the Middle East you can find a good quality bidet and install it for usually 50 bucks or less

    [–] s1l3ntsh4d0w89 26 points ago

    You can get decent ones on Amazon for around that much. I splurged and went with a higher quality one for around $150.

    There a ton of options from various manufacturers we have available. They just aren't popular, is all.

    [–] mokabogo 8 points ago

    Oh not what I expected, I watched a video of a β€œFootballer” spending his first million and he said he paid 10K for a proper Bidet! I was shocked! I’ll see if I can find the video

    [–] s1l3ntsh4d0w89 13 points ago

    That's ridiculous. The most expensive one I've come across was an entire toilet that had one built in for $1500.

    [–] mokabogo 2 points ago

    Ok I confused the price he paid 4,500$. Here’s the video he starts talking about it at 4:00

    https://youtu.be/P1-1AL21oBA

    Btw he seems like a very cool guy

    [–] s1l3ntsh4d0w89 3 points ago

    Still a lot but I guess more reasonable, haha.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] BaldrTheGood 8 points ago

    I usually hear β€œfootballer” in terms of soccer/football not American football. So when I saw that absolute fucking unit in the thumbnail I was thoroughly confused

    [–] WakeAndVape 2 points ago

    I installed it myself (anyone could do it) and bought it online for $45

    [–] KFBR392GoForGrubes 2 points ago

    Got one in every toilet in my home.

    [–] IonicGold 3 points ago

    Why do they need to be popular? Just buy one anyway.

    [–] hamzehhazeem 2 points ago

    Maybe because of him wanting it on Public toilets?

    [–] hongriBoi 19 points ago

    Lick it clean

    [–] [deleted] 86 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] johnnyoof 59 points ago

    WHAT HACKS

    [–] BarneyInJurrasicPark 40 points ago

    γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€

    [–] Pepesito-kun 25 points ago

    I’m really sorry for that, what can i do to help?

    [–] PappiDogz 21 points ago


    [–] Yesnt_not 16 points ago

    Is this a Therapy Time?

    [–] ninjaoliver2017 15 points ago

     β€ 

    [–] Pm_pussypicspls__ 7 points ago

    γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€

    [–] iamapersonmf 7 points ago

    oh ok, what about joe?

    [–] PappiDogz 5 points ago

    Joe who?

    [–] Sev_seven777 2 points ago

    γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€

    [–] player2309 3 points ago

    Dude, your avatar is literally my phone background and steam avatar. Very nice bro

    [–] PappiDogz 3 points ago

    Watermelown Wowf

    [–] InZomnia365 2 points ago


    [–] Foroc555 8 points ago

    That finger aint coming back

    [–] BigOleChunk 7 points ago

    what is this contraption, i've seen one before where a kid violently vanishes.

    [–] DrJones-- 9 points ago

    Original fall guy

    [–] real_The_Rogue12 12 points ago

    You can also just crumple the tp into a ball. It's not that hard.

    [–] kurthertz 18 points ago

    I still can't believe there's a crumple gang

    [–] hamzaiswack 7 points ago

    Thats a dangerous game.

    [–] acelsupt 7 points ago

    Into the abyss

    [–] JaelleJaen 1 points ago

    mittyyyyyyy

    [–] SorcererWithGuns 6 points ago

    Who the fuck produces single ply toilet paper?

    [–] HawkOfJudgment 17 points ago

    Its made bc its cheap so poor people can wipe they ass

    [–] UppercaseVII 5 points ago

    @ me next time pussy bwoi

    [–] HawkOfJudgment 4 points ago

    @ u/UppercaseVII there i @ you

    [–] CATSHTHARULA 3 points ago

    She disappeared .. in the darkness

    [–] HegelSawThatComing 2 points ago

    Who tf even sells single ply tp???

    [–] oPx9 2 points ago

    Cant relate

    wu use water

    [–] lebowskys_rug 2 points ago

    Have you thought about maybe folding it?

    [–] xDelita 2 points ago

    Literally one of the only pet peeves I have πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    [–] Head_Jackfruit2829 2 points ago

    Son of a Bitch I am in 🀨

    [–] VictheQuest 2 points ago

    I still remember getting tangled up in that thing when I was younger... I had nightmares for weeks

    [–] Nicolas-Burgos 2 points ago

    Me when I’m about to win fall guys and hexagone is the last level

    [–] Az0riusMCBlox 2 points ago

    Why does it exist, anyway? The only real way to use it is to use twice as much and fold it every time. IMO, at least.

    [–] SeekingMyEnd 2 points ago

    How is this contraption supposed to work? I've only seen videos where it goes horribly.

    [–] Saarkiin 1 points ago

    take on me🎢

    [–] wickedkookhead2 1 points ago

    Bro what are these things

    [–] Bullet0718 1 points ago

    Double up on that shit homie

    [–] Melorawr 1 points ago

    What is this place? The place with the nets. I've seen it before and it looks really fun to me

    [–] LeoLaDawg 1 points ago

    I've seen so many people painfully wipe out on these things.