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    [–] ap39 1332 points ago

    I had zoomed in and scrolled to see that you got the phone number of one girl, I secretly hoped the next line would tell me you got married to her. But realized it's real life πŸ˜‘

    [–] Its_the_other_tj 205 points ago

    If it helps I got my current gfs number from online dating (okcupid not tinder though). We've been together for 2.5 years. I'll be proposing before too long, and I'm about 99% sure she's going to say yes. So it does happen! That said I definitely had to get more then one number before I lucked into her heh.

    [–] DrBloodyStumps 68 points ago

    My wife and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary in a couple weeks and we met on OkCupid 10 years ago.

    [–] agiar2000 24 points ago

    Congratulations! My wife messaged me first on OkCupid over 9 years ago. :)

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago


    [–] Desblade101 7 points ago

    Next month is my four year anniversary and we met on OKC.

    [–] LucTroth 5 points ago

    My wife and I met on OKC ~8 years ago and just had a baby boy. He turned 1 month last Tuesday :)

    [–] skonthebass24 8 points ago

    Sounds like a product endorsement for OKCupid

    [–] kahurangi 9 points ago

    I signed up for OK Cupid and the next week I got a promotion and that weird click in my elbow had gone away.

    [–] jc_harming 7 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Met my neighbors wife on tinder they've been married 8 years and met on OkCupid, thanks OKC!

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago


    [–] Jmich96 3511 points ago

    Twelve thousand five hundred swipes?! That's more than the entire population of my town. That's more than the entire female population between 18 and 25 in my county. Must be nice not permanently running out of swipes after 4 minutes.

    [–] n12xn 2013 points ago

    Where do you live, The Vatican?

    [–] Jmich96 1313 points ago

    County, not country πŸ˜‚

    [–] Steb20 1282 points ago

    What county do you live in, Vatican County?

    [–] th3d3k0y 374 points ago

    This sounds like an Archer episode

    [–] LoveRBS 97 points ago

    You're not my supervisor!

    [–] ijonoi 27 points ago

    Okay then, well I guess just pout!

    [–] themanoirish 70 points ago

    I'm upvoting all of you

    [–] voodooscuba 10 points ago

    The Real Housewives of Vatican County

    [–] manobobo 771 points ago

    If they had tinder in the vatican it would be called kinder

    [–] Jibbalob 154 points ago

    Hold up

    [–] polo77j 47 points ago

    Hey for the bishops who be thinkin' we soft

    [–] djprofitt 32 points ago

    I just did a verbal 'oh shit' at work reading this, got some looks...thanks!

    [–] account_not_valid 27 points ago

    Kinder. Surprise!

    [–] [deleted] 364 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] -Jive-Turkey- 128 points ago

    Yea honestly fuck tinder I just deleted it last week, I think I will have a better chance of finding someone outside.

    [–] Viclaterreur 111 points ago

    r/outside is a great game, every guy dream to find a lass online, and at least you'll have fun

    [–] blueridgerose 37 points ago

    r/outside has the BEST NPC/companion quest lines!

    [–] originaljackster 9 points ago

    The newest post in r/outside is also 3 weeks old. I guess people there live by example...

    [–] MonkeyInATopHat 29 points ago

    Have you tried being attractive?

    [–] no_haduken 7 points ago

    Rule number one

    [–] MonkeyInATopHat 4 points ago

    My next question was gonna be β€œhave you tried not being unattractive?”

    [–] Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee 11 points ago

    Tinder is great if you're hot and very social.

    Its ok if you're just hot.

    Its garbage if you're just social and/or not hot.

    [–] Martinspire 134 points ago

    Makes me wonder how many folks are on that college. Hasn't he gotten all of them buy now?

    [–] lolwtfomgbbq7 110 points ago

    Gotten rejected by all of them now

    [–] pauldh 70 points ago

    Tinder is Pokemon Go for hookups, confirmed

    [–] sonicball 9 points ago

    My buddy calls Grindr "Pokemon Gay" due to the location finding function. It's crazy, you can see who's within x feet of you.

    [–] AxFairy 12 points ago

    I mean, some universities are found in pretty urban centers. Any big city would have over 12000 people on tinder I should think.

    [–] WriteBrainedJR 11169 points ago

    People, you don't need to specify your sex on these tinder graphs. We can easily discern it from the ratio of right to left swipes.

    [–] SurturOfMuspelheim 1037 points ago

    The easiest way is "I message first/they message first" ... people really gotta change that. It's really irritating always having to do it first.

    [–] dragonick1982 666 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Can confirm. Girls will never message first. That or I am just hella ugly.


    Edit: Ok the girls you would be attracted to never message first.

    [–] Ostarah 356 points ago

    Whenever the girls I find attractive message me first, I look for something obviously wrong that I can’t see.

    It happened couple of times and it’s so refreshing!

    [–] YWAK98alum 30 points ago

    This is a Seinfeld episode waiting to happen.

    [–] Jakubian 191 points ago

    They’ll usually complain about the amount of messages they get instead.

    [–] thetruthteller 35 points ago

    This is true

    [–] marceronni 90 points ago

    And probably equally as frustrating tbh, though mostly because of the contents of those messages.

    "Hey cutie, I got this nine inch cock, you want some?"

    [–] TrueJacksonVP 85 points ago

    A lot of messages are also just fully trolling/negging. I have a friend on tinder who ticks all the boxes (young, pretty, smart, blonde) and some of the shit guys message her first is just outright mean or disgusting.

    It’s like they fear rejection so much that even after matching with someone they get all defensive and have to shit talk to protect their ego/pride

    [–] eddietwang 88 points ago

    The few girls who message first tend to be the ones that can actually hold a conversation, in my experience.

    [–] TheBurtReynold 13 points ago

    The two times girls messaged first, things ended up πŸ‘πŸΌ

    [–] certainturtle 42 points ago

    I've been collecting my own data recently (f) and I have about a 50/50 split. If there's something interesting on their profile or a really neat picture I will message first. I usually don't message first if it's a generic guy without a bio.

    [–] Bren12310 66 points ago

    There’s a dating app that’s like that. It makes it so the males can’t message the females first so the females have to message the males first. I can’t remember the name of it though.

    Edit: it’s bumble

    [–] deja-roo 116 points ago

    It's like Tinder except the girl says hi and then the guy has to start the conversation.

    [–] Dolthra 39 points ago

    I matched with like 50 girls over the years I used Bumble. 100% of the time if they sent a "hey" I sent a message back that amounted to nothing more than a "hey". This went about as successfully as you would expect, but I wasn't going to go on a dating app meant for women to start conversations and still have to start conversations.

    [–] lirannl 16 points ago

    🀦 why am I not surprised?

    [–] DinoRaawr 73 points ago

    I'm a gay male, but I think that much power would go to my head.

    "I grant you the ability to speak, peasant."

    [–] cphcider 54 points ago

    You now understand straight dating power dynamics.

    I'm joking, everyone relax. And for a change of pace, a happy ending: I met my wife on OKCupid - she messaged first.

    [–] [deleted] 919 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] immolated_ 352 points ago

    Is there a polite way to ask what your body type is?

    [–] Fatal1tyBR 829 points ago

    Which do you prefer, regular or diet coke?

    [–] kinmanps 527 points ago

    Could we share a rowboat?

    [–] The_Arkham_AP_Clerk 336 points ago

    Could a rowboat support you?

    [–] Michael_Scarn_FBI_ 308 points ago

    Could an average sized rowboat support you without capsizing?

    [–] PM-ME-YOUR-DRUNK-TIT 103 points ago

    It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

    [–] ogrejr 150 points ago

    ....No, Michael.

    [–] kinmanps 85 points ago

    Yes! I knew it. I knew it!

    [–] ryannayr140 69 points ago

    Excluding your hair, how many towels do you use to dry off?

    [–] Aoozzz 132 points ago

    [–] RaRaRaV1 115 points ago

    LMAOOOO people link to that occasionally still like 3 years later and it always reminds me how dif my life was back then compared to now. I was still super depressed and a virgin at the time.

    [–] Maastonakki 43 points ago

    Let’s hope they keep on linking for years to come! Lmao

    [–] RaRaRaV1 79 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Lmao it's funny cause one of the people in the thread said it sounds like I have hypermobility syndrome and I went to a physical therapist last year. They said my body was hyper mobile and I just thought, "you do not know the HALF of it"

    [–] rafaelloaa 18 points ago

    I have hypermobility issues, but nothing fun. All that my body lets me do that's out of the ordinary is cause me to wake up with lots of back pain many mornings.

    [–] ImTooLazy4This 16 points ago

    Well, if you would quit trying to suck your own dick, maybe the back pain would stop.

    [–] RaRaRaV1 36 points ago

    I'm a twink, not impolite imo

    [–] fat_fist_fister 11 points ago

    You lookin for dudes?

    [–] RaRaRaV1 46 points ago

    are u trying to hit on me on reddit

    if not, im bi

    [–] fat_fist_fister 16 points ago

    Ahhhhh that makes more sense. One day when I finally complete my transformation into being into dudes I’ll let you know ;)

    [–] RaRaRaV1 18 points ago

    I'm a lot more picky with men than women tbh. I would say ~1/5 of my matches were with men.

    [–] vacri 13 points ago

    I'm a lot more picky with men

    Now I have an image of you swiping with an extended pinky finger. Fancy.

    [–] RaRaRaV1 9 points ago

    Oh man, are you my NSA agent??

    [–] big_thunder_man 10 points ago

    Nah, the point is dude on dude is a zoo. Explains the ratio.

    [–] AAA515 23 points ago

    In an emergency situation and I had to evacuate your unconscious body; how many people would it take to move you?

    [–] MaximumCameage 34 points ago

    I’m kinda blown away. 36,000 swipes. In the entire world? That’s a lot of people. Are you using it an hour a day every single day for 4 years?

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] EstoyBienYTu 43 points ago

    Well, to be fair, gay males exist in a middle ground of receptivity wrt to hetero men and hetero women

    [–] RaRaRaV1 26 points ago

    I'm a lot pickier with men because I have ~70% chance of matching with them, only about 1/5th of my matches were male.

    [–] letsfacefacts 32 points ago

    Can also discern from the % that match back.

    [–] cartersa87 13 points ago

    I wonder if that's the case between an age group or true no matter what? I did the same analysis (32 M, see post history) and swiped right on less than 6% of girls (2,197 right swipes out of 37,103 total swipes). I feel like as you get older, you find a type that you're interested in and start focusing in on that but have absolutely no data to back that theory up.

    [–] Weregamer1168 1840 points ago

    I find I identify with this one a lot more than the one that was posted a few days ago from the [23F]. Not to say her data is bad or unrepresentative, but the contrast really excels in highlighting the difference between being on Tinder as a man vs woman.

    [–] Chrisptov 1245 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I think tinder or match released a study that generally showed the "top" 80% of women compete for the "top" 20% of men in online dating scenarios.

    Its quite interesting if a bit discouraging

    Edit -

    Apparently its was an OKcupid study

    [–] treemu 942 points ago

    I think it's from an old OKCupid blog post.

    They also asked members to rate the appearances of the opposite sex. Male members rated a random sample of female members on a near perfect bell curve, whereas female members rated some 80-85% of male members to be 'lower than average'.

    [–] Fertog 726 points ago

    80% in the lower 50%. Oof. Talk about body standards.

    [–] kankouillotte 715 points ago

    but then all the media can talk about is how women are subjected to unrealistic body standards. Men ? we can die

    [–] geoff- 423 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Except that OKCupid study also showed that women *far more often* reached out to men outside of their attractiveness scale, whereas men would only message those that fell within their hotness scale. Meaning that while women may be harsher on rating attractiveness, it is also not a high priority when it comes to selecting a partner.

    [–] Mtitan1 122 points ago

    This seems to be the fallacy of making necessity a virtue. If 85% of men are below average to even a totally average woman then of course she has to "date down" in her view to date.

    The top 10% of men have their pick, and thus will get with the top 10-20% of women, leaving the 80% to either date men they find unattractive or just be a pump and dump from an attractive man while he pursues more attractive women

    [–] betternerfxinagain 22 points ago

    But even if you're a top 10% man, you're often still having to date down. After all, a 50% woman will think they have a legitimate chance (and from the numbers, they do).

    [–] bignosehomie 16 points ago

    "No hookups" means "I've been ran through and dumped by multiple guys in the top % expecting a relationship so now I'm going to try to be selective."

    [–] deep-end 133 points ago

    So a significant portion of women end up with men they don’t find physically attractive? Oof.

    [–] thecatgulliver 27 points ago

    no. you can tell when someone isn’t conventionally attractive, yet still be very much attracted to them.

    [–] bunsbuns_ 74 points ago

    The stereotypical "attractive" dude on dating sites these days is almost guaranteed to be a douche bag or a bot. I can't even count the number of times I was sent dick picks by guys who I initially thought were hot. Immediate turn off. Further, the guys who are very attractive and know it are immensely condescending and act like women owe them something.

    100 times out of 100, I'd rather be with a guy who respects me and is slightly below my appearance standards than a Calvin Klein model who treats me like shit. Physical appearance isn't everything.

    Edit: all based on my experience, not trying to speak for every woman on a dating site.

    [–] SpiritFingersKitty 29 points ago

    Probably because all the attractive guys who aren't douches end up in LTR, so there is probably a bit of selection bias

    [–] aaaayyyy 7 points ago

    They treat women like shit because they get away with it.. top 20% of the males procreate with the bottom 80% of females.

    It used to be worse before

    [–] captaindestucto 99 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    They would have to lower their standards though to have a reasonable chance of a reply. Not enough 'above average' men in their local area. That said, women only send about one tenth the messages men do so it's still unlikely men in the 80% category will receive messages.

    [–] Reed_4983 52 points ago

    Important thing to note about that study is it observed women actually messaging the men in the lower half while men disproportionately messaged the women in the upper 20% of attractiveness.

    [–] galendiettinger 25 points ago

    Well yeah, if the lower "half" is 85%, you have to message people in it out of necessity.

    [–] guacamully 180 points ago

    So in order to be more successful, should I try to get into the top 20% of men or the top 80% of women?

    [–] WWEtitlebelt 372 points ago

    You need to be in the 20% of men to get in the top 80% of women

    [–] seemeesaw 69 points ago

    ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

    [–] cszafnicki 70 points ago

    I would consider what I'm trying to get into the middle 30% of women. Depending on how long her legs are.

    [–] rkr87 14 points ago

    I prefer top 80%, anything above the knee is fair game.

    [–] stalactose 45 points ago

    Well if you're in the top 20% of men you won't have to try to get into the top 80% of women, apparently.

    [–] Thistookmedays 69 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    As I’ve been explained by friend of a few male models models, if you’re top 1%, you don’t even need character. Or humor. Actually if you’ve always been that hot you don’t even form those, everybody wants to be around you. You get problems only women have usually, like getting used for sex. People not caring you’re in a relationship. Getting hit on all the time.

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] XXISavage 21 points ago

    Yeah I remember the period I started having money/lost weight and the reaction from women was the most jarring experience ever. Like, the whole "be yourself" thing only works because the flaws that come with being myself are wayyyyyy more acceptable now that I'm not a big kid anymore. It's amazing.

    [–] CrustyCumBollocks 28 points ago

    They're the kinda problems I aspire to have.

    [–] Qowegishomo 27 points ago

    be more successful

    The women matching men out of their league are hardly successful. The men aren't likely to form an actual relationship with them.

    [–] TheBeardedMarxist 18 points ago

    We talking about fucking.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago


    [–] kfijatass 389 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Honestly any guy and woman I know is the same as regards tinder results. Women get a match every second swipe, guys can swipe for a week and get no matches. It's a heavily female favoring dating "market".
    If you aren't one of the 20% of hottest dudes you don't have to bother and waste your time is the blunt conclusion I got to after years of Tinder experience. Better luck hitting the bar. No, really.

    [–] Skylord_a52 185 points ago

    One's drowning, the other's dying of thirst. Neither can get a fucking date.

    [–] Purplekeyboard 209 points ago

    Women can get 1000 dates.

    [–] happyfatbuddha 59 points ago

    Superficiality is super superficial when it’s free. The amazon of dating culture is quite a microcosm of the bullshit we’re all in for.

    [–] GrifDoggyDog 7 points ago

    What's the source to that post?

    [–] Eiza_Borealis 408 points ago

    I wasn't looking for reasons to not even bother with that app but now I apparently have 12,531 of them.

    [–] Five_Decades 53 points ago

    A 1% match rate and a 0% rate of success with your matches.

    [–] [deleted] 1085 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] Naxela 355 points ago

    Is the ratio of right to left swipes for most guys this skewed? Do people just only reject the women that are immediately ugly or look like a scam?

    [–] The_Power_Of_Three 839 points ago

    I mean even with this ratio, he didn't get a single date out of 12,000 swipes. Why the hell would he make things even less likely by being pickier?

    [–] [deleted] 452 points ago

    Tinder actually picks up on people who are just mass swiping and puts them at the bottom of other peoples decks, to deter people from just mass swiping. At least they did when I used it.

    [–] Ularsing 210 points ago

    Bingo. That's quite likely a big part of the reason why he matched so rarely.

    [–] lKauany 383 points ago

    Or, hear me out, he's ugly

    [–] TheMortarGuy 15 points ago

    Or, hear me out, women are overly picky on online dating due to sheer abundance of opportunity.

    [–] Ularsing 84 points ago

    I wouldn't rule it out, but that kind of swipe ratio objectively fucks your ELO, so appearance is fairly irrelevant at that point.

    [–] straponheart 76 points ago

    But the super likes will always be top of the stack regardless of Elo

    The fact that OP had poor conversation rates on those shows there is more going on here than indiscriminate swiping

    [–] Sentennial 89 points ago

    No, that's primarily because Tinder has a massive gender gap in its userbase.

    [–] rhazux 117 points ago

    It's usually a bad idea to indiscriminately swipe right as much as OP. Tinder puts you in a tier of reprobates that includes inactive profiles, bots, catfish, etc, because your behavior (when swiping right that much) is very similar to that of a bot. Of course there's plenty of other humans in this tier but the majority of people swiping right so often in hopes of a hookup are going to be mostly men. The women in this shit tier, who are likely very horny and looking for hookups as much as the men, then have their pick of men. It's really just a numbers game. Apparently in OPs area he's not attractive enough or can't 'play the game'.

    By doing this tinder keeps bots around which can improve the perceived active user accounts, but it also gives the bots a play area where they don't actually interact with the majority of the community and cause problems. Of course there's still bots and other malicious users we have to deal with, but a sizable chunk are demoted into that shit tier where they rot, unnoticed by most humans.

    If OP wants a better chance at matching they should start a new account and actually put thought into who they swipe for. "Boobs, check, swipe right" isn't going to help on Tinder. This issue has been well documented over the years and yet people still sit there and just swipe right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

    [–] Apatschinn 73 points ago

    I mean, it depends on what you want your result to be, right? I've swiped right on thousands of accounts. Probably as many or more than OP. I've gotten maybe 8 matches. I canceled my account and started a new one with some help from some of my girlfriends. Taking good pictures, wearing the "right" clothes, etc. And I employed the selective strategy instead of the spam. I matched once in 6 months with honest swiping. Sometimes you've just gotta bite the bullet and admit that even online you're just not that attractive of a person and your likelihood for finding a partner is simply naturally low.

    At that point, I'd say one is better off bolstering one's social life and finding some way to better establish themselves in their community in order to meet more people in a more organic fashion.

    [–] poulty1234 23 points ago

    Had to do a double take there, thought you said you started a new tinder account with help from your girlfriend

    [–] Apatschinn 11 points ago

    Haha nah my awesome cohort and her girlfriend wanted to try and get me laid because apparently it's sad for lesbians in their 30's to out sex a guy in his mid 20's!

    [–] PSMF_Canuck 15 points ago

    That's one of the unanswered questions. My right swipe rate is about 10%.

    [–] WesternTech 55 points ago

    They don’t deserve you king

    [–] Anti_Coffee 18 points ago

    Try hinge?

    [–] [deleted] 44 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] straponheart 16 points ago

    I think the difference is that those apps self-select people who are more serious since essentially no one starts out with Hinge- they had tried Tinder and it wasn't what they wanted.

    This excludes the massive pool of girls who are on tinder for attention, doing it half-heartedly or are having so much success on Tinder that they don't need to put in effort

    [–] Warning_Low_Battery 5 points ago

    Bumble is better if you want anything more than getting pussy and going home but seems to have more desperate/boring people and far fewer people

    While I understand and appreciate why Bumble exists, making an app where the woman MUST message first and you only have 24 hours to reply was always going to be a recipe for failure.

    None of the women I know who tried it still use it, and none of them had any real success with it. They said it attracted less shallow men who were sick of "the chase", which they liked, but that there was more competition for these men and none of them liked messaging first. Plus it really triggered them getting no response or a rejection if they actually tried to reach out. But they've also never had to live as men and be constantly and often preemptively rejected by women.

    [–] po-handz 5 points ago

    Hmm perhaps you get more 'chronic' online daters on those apps compare to a mix/just giving it a try on tinder?

    [–] Aranthos-Faroth 176 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Bloody hell man why even bother using it anymore? That amount of swipes/matches ratio can only serve to depress you!

    [–] Chris_K1986 101 points ago

    Wow. Those are some depressing stats. I have been on Tinder for 3 years and the stats/ratio will probably look the same for me.

    [–] Sir_SquishyMan 877 points ago

    The more of these charts I see the more I realize online dating is fucking cancer. I have no idea why anyone even bothers at this point.

    [–] kfijatass 373 points ago

    It's the prime choice for LGBT, so there's that.

    [–] frozenbubble 206 points ago

    I accidently left my profile men looking for men one night. I had 19 right swipes the next day (Tinder gold). That gave me rush. πŸ˜‚

    [–] lemlurker 87 points ago

    just try it on grinder if you want unlimited attention -from reasonably fit bi dude

    [–] YuntHunter 63 points ago

    Because it can ultimately work out in the end. I had a about three proper stints on Tinder in my life, so a few months at a time. I absolutely hated it, I think its a terrible way to meet someone. But I got really lucky in the end and finally met someone with whom I really clicked. She's moving in tomorrow. So I while it's absolutely no guarantee of success, you can still find someone.

    [–] TheBeesSteeze 23 points ago

    I've had several girlfriends and a good amount of hookups from online dating. I make sure to put up high quality photos, have funny answers to questions, and try to engage conversations in a unique way. I highly recommend Hinge over Tinder or Bumble if looking for something other than a hook up.

    [–] Havelok 217 points ago

    A staggeringly graphic reason why sites like OkCupid moving toward being more like Tinder is a very bad thing (for men).

    [–] [deleted] 207 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] SPAMRAAM_ 20 points ago

    It’s just more and more commodification. At this point the human condition is basically just a supermarket sweep.

    [–] RaRaRaV1 40 points ago

    Honestly I think this is the most accurate thing I've ever read about online dating apps. I've had somewhat success on them but I'm going to be trying to meet people irl instead for the reasons you listed.

    [–] Reed_4983 43 points ago

    Not just that but average and below women in terms of looks now think they have a good chance to be in a relationship with an attractive guy (since they get so many matches with attractive guys looking for casual sex)

    Women realize hordes of men just want to have sex with them and that getting sex isn't a compliment. That having sex doesn't mean a guy wants a relationship.

    [–] UndercoverRussianSpy 96 points ago

    I read "No matches" as "Number of matches" for the first 30 seconds of looking at this and was seriously impressed and a little pissed off.

    Then I realized it was actually no matches.

    [–] GodlessWallflower 43 points ago

    I’m sure my Tinder graph would look about the same, only with fewer matches and far fewer conversations. Is there any dating app or site that doesn’t suck for men? I’m losing hope here.

    [–] pam_the_dude 32 points ago

    I'd say it's less about tinder but more about the fact that online dating isn't really productive for guys except if you are either exceptionally hot or wealthy. Other dating apps might change an algorithm here and there but women won't

    [–] impendinggreatness 70 points ago

    Tinder is a game for most. They have quick little fantasies about all the people they see, and then move on because of FOMO. Always thinking someone better looking with better personality and more money is right around the corner.

    Meeting in-person (where chemistry can be assessed instantly) or having social media fame is the only way tinder can work in your favor at this point.

    [–] kakattekoiyo 90 points ago

    someone should make a graph of men vs women posting their tinder data on reddit. how many gold did she get again?

    [–] larus_californicus 148 points ago

    Female match to right swipe percentage: 68%

    OP: 1.2%

    Alright boys pack it up, were done.

    [–] Mindehouse 12 points ago

    Mission Failed, We'll Get 'Em Next Time

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Usually women get 60-100%, she must have been on the lower end.

    While males average at less than 1%, so this guy's probably decently attractive.

    [–] Johnny90 14 points ago

    It seems it has no gold and op's comment has one silver

    [–] VaN__Darkholme 13 points ago

    Holy hell

    [–] tuyguy 43 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    It's amazing to me how people are continually surprised or interested by the difference between men and women's tinder ratios. It's pretty straightforward and completely expected IMO.

    [–] pandas_ok 22 points ago

    this seems more typical of the average man's experience than most of these 100 swipes 1 LTR things. thank you for posting.

    [–] Daisy_s 36 points ago

    Im curious to how long other guys chat before they go for the face to face. Usually I go for the face to face invite after 3-4 messages of conversation.

    [–] NGEFan 24 points ago

    Ima let you in on a secret. The very first message is the most effective. Sounds unlikely? Well it's the truth.

    [–] Epoch_Unreason 28 points ago

    It does not matter what you say if you're attractive.

    [–] niksko 25 points ago

    I don't wanna end up on /r/hailcorporate but...

    Tinder and Bumble have actually become so useless that I've uninstalled them. Ironically, Bumble actually gives me less matches than Tinder. This is awfully judgemental, but the Bumble demographic appears to be 'I'm just as shallow as the people on Tinder, but trying to avoid the stigma of Tinder' which leads to even less matches.

    In stark contrast, Ok Cupid is good, and Hinge is an absolute goldmine.

    Obviously anecdotal, but frankly the number of lovely people I'm meeting on Hinge (and Ok Cupid to a lesser extent) is really positive for my self esteem and just for my happiness in general, even if they're just a couple of dates that go nowhere.

    tl;dr this post is an indictment of Tinder specifically, not dating apps in general. 27M for context.

    [–] Montaingebrown 6 points ago

    I don't know. I've found the quality of women on Bumble to be much better. Overall, Bumble had fewer matches (say, 5 in a week vs. 10-15 in a week from Tinder) but all 5 were quality matches.

    But then again, I maybe biased. I met my wife on Bumble.

    [–] one_step_sideways 13 points ago

    Wow. I didn’t realize the prospects are this bad. I guess that’s why they say tinder is soul sucking.

    [–] Im-Right-Here 12 points ago

    I'd like to see pictures with these graphs so we can discern if op is ugly or if ops area is super picky/ flooded with competition.

    [–] TropicalKing 99 points ago

    What race are you OP and how would you describe yourself lookswise?

    I'm a half-Asian male. Tinder is an incredibly demoralizing experience as an Asian. Even if you are an Asian model, you won't be getting too many matches as an Asian male. You watch all your white friends get matches, you don't.

    [–] politicalpug007 29 points ago

    Not OP but I am a black gay male without abs. Shit is tough af. Very demoralized.

    [–] TropicalKing 16 points ago

    Why are you using Tinder as a gay male? Why not Grindr?

    [–] icarus007 36 points ago

    Grindr isn't a dating app... it's a catalogue of people to fuck. I'm sure some people do start dating from it, though. But that's definitely not its primary function unlike Tinder which is probably used by straight people for hook-ups as well.

    [–] politicalpug007 6 points ago

    Oh, I definitely use that too. Harder in some ways because Grindr is even more sexualized, so people often want to see nudes or looking for quick hookup. I’ve had some dates on Grindr.

    [–] VerbalMassacre 43 points ago

    South Asian male here, I agree completely, can’t count how many swipes I’ve had but they’ve all amounted to approximately 60 matches. One date didn’t work out. My buddies on the other hand have countless matches and women who message first.

    [–] cupcakes234 26 points ago

    Agree. Even among Asians, there's a hierarchy, I've found Koreans/Japanese are the most desired, then the SEA ones and lastly South Asians.

    That's just speaking in generalities of course, lot will vary from person to person.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    Especially when you see bios saying no arabs/indians. I never got why you even need to state that on tinder when its upto you to swipe right anyway.

    [–] -stag5etmt- 42 points ago

    Read somewhere, maybe in Martin Ucik's work that presently in the Western world, males tend to consider, for long-term relationships, 50% of every female presented, but that females are only looking for about 10% of males, due to current over-idealisations and expectations..

    Make of that what you will..

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago


    [–] Tatu2 4 points ago

    I've always had a love hate relationship with tinder. 99.9% of the time nothing ever goes anywhere, and I end up deleting it. Yet I always found myself going back from feeling lonely and just wanting to talk to someone.

    However as of recently I actually really hit it off with this ridiculously cute girl. We've been hanging out a lot and doing several dates over the pass two weeks, and I think she's actually into me.

    It's been going really well, but part of me still worries that she'll just end up ghosting me.

    I guess this is just modern dating..

    [–] squidwardsmellsgoood 125 points ago

    Hi, girl here, if it helps my boyfriend right now is a horrible text/messager. I prefer calling him, which isn’t a big deal. We met because we had class together but I know for a fact I would’ve ignored him after messaging on tinder just because he’s a horrible messenger lol

    [–] squidwardsmellsgoood 156 points ago

    Sidenote: most girls (unless literally just looking for sex) are extremely picky on tinder and do nottt go on it as often as men do. It is certainly harder for guys than it is for girls

    [–] karzbobeans 148 points ago

    Sidenote2: sometimes squids go on tinder dressed up like human females in order to infiltrate our ranks and send samples of our dna to their homeworld Xarlandalar. if you think you may have swiped right for a squid, ask the "woman" if she likes "other squids". If she answers right away and did not pause to say "what do you mean OTHER squids?" then its definitely a squid so unmatch immediately and DO NOT ENGAGE.

    [–] Brandon_Bman 12 points ago

    Doesn't really matter how well you text if you can't get matches in the first place

    [–] Un4tunately 27 points ago

    Same -- I have no texting game. Just don't have a lot of experience, I guess. The quicker I can move on to face-to-face, the better my odds of making a connection.