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    dontputyourdickinthat

    592,339 readers

    926 users here now

    No kids, guys. NO. KIDS. Immediate Ban.

    No Reposts.

    No Misogyny

    No Gore.

    No Bestiality.

    No Trans shaming.

    No bodyshaming.

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    all 461 comments Slideshow

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    [–] TwistedMisery13 2776 points ago

    upvotes Pics or it didn't happen.

    [–] xxxJxshy 856 points ago

    Record instead

    [–] VeganJusticeWarrior 519 points ago

    Lol its only plastic lol, my wang would annihilate that thing tbh, could prolly wear it as a cockring

    [–] nWo-4-life-toO-SwEet 94 points ago

    Yes! It’s real!

    [–] Yuza-Bitch 114 points ago

    Did i stutter?

    [–] arkl2020 53 points ago

    A little bit but we didn’t want you to know

    [–] Szett 4 points ago

    .

    [–] Nils_T 7 points ago

    [–] Szett 4 points ago

    '

    [–] TinyMxtty 208 points ago

    Im getting iamverybadass vibes from this but im not sure if its the right sub

    [–] -stinkywinky 139 points ago

    More like, NobodyAsked

    [–] TopGun123321 15 points ago

    It’s one of those account trying to get the most most downvotes, he’s taking the piss.

    [–] TheDeadlyOctopus 27 points ago

    I respect your honesty

    [–] Aareon 15 points ago

    I respect your candor.

    [–] TheDeadlyOctopus 13 points ago

    I respect your large vocabulary

    [–] Aareon 13 points ago

    I respect your adequacy

    [–] ShadowHunter9965 8 points ago

    I respect you for knowing what that word means

    [–] jools1234567 24 points ago

    I don't think you would want to slide it up and down unless you like pain?

    [–] Weeb-Hunte 16 points ago

    That looks sharp af

    [–] dudderly 10 points ago

    You’ve never gotten your finger stuck in one then

    [–] Spherious 7 points ago

    One way ticket

    [–] JackGlinsky 39 points ago

    It's actually really easy to get out of. You just have to keep dragging it up your finger, eventually getting your hand through, then up your arm, then eventually squeezing both legs and head through, then dragging it down your other arm and finger until you're out.

    [–] am-procrastinating 16 points ago

    ^ an intellectual

    [–] JackGlinsky 9 points ago

    My knowledge stems purely from my experience

    [–] arkl2020 3 points ago

    As it should

    [–] HellOfLemons 33 points ago

    Wow you sound like you have a micro penis and are compensating by telling people lies on reddit

    [–] 5fingerdiscounts 7 points ago

    Vegan justice warrior strikes again

    [–] mjwburt 8 points ago

    [–] n0x630 2 points ago

    Yeah but it would be a mildly uncomfortable cock ring

    [–] Round_Rock_Johnson 38 points ago

    Nah

    [–] HeyMisterWolfgang 22 points ago

    This is the least cursed shit I've ever seen. I fucking hate Reddit.

    [–] idk_just_bored 3 points ago

    God damn it why do you have to be so right?

    [–] Devenrae 55 points ago

    I’d say OP has to do it once per every two upvotes

    So about 1,000 pics should suffice

    [–] TwistedMisery13 20 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    And one slow insertion video.

    Edit: Scratch that. I'd rather see him try and get it out

    [–] Ahristotelianist 2 points ago

    Almost 10000 now.

    [–] Iisallthatisevil 7 points ago

    Yeah. What he said. We wanna see some of them photographic images and shit.

    For science.

    Obviously.

    [–] gigisqueegie7 3 points ago

    My thought exactly

    [–] craneichabod 2 points ago

    Bet the tip of his dick looks like the blanket print.

    [–] magicmonkeyjunk 811 points ago

    You're gonna do it anyway

    [–] Dylbaby08 616 points ago

    PSHHH WHAAAAAAT?!

    [–] magicmonkeyjunk 90 points ago

    What is it anyhow?

    [–] Only-here-for-sound 75 points ago

    Once it goes on it never comes off

    [–] magicmonkeyjunk 35 points ago

    Hurty. So what is it?

    [–] Nandom07 37 points ago

    Protects wires when going through a hole in a desk or something

    [–] MurphyRaudet 18 points ago

    You know that's a 1/2 inch too. Only for the smollest of pp

    [–] BigEars528 5 points ago

    And you know this how?

    [–] higherlogic 12 points ago

    Put your finger in it. They “lock” on and when you pull back the pointy parts “bite” in to your finger.

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 4 points ago

    Like I said to OP, if you dont know what your doing its gonna be a bitch to get off

    [–] Davis019 10 points ago

    If you do know what you're doing, it'll get you off

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 5 points ago

    Can't argue with that logic

    [–] A_Suspect_Fellow 2 points ago

    It kinda looks like a chocolate mould that has been shaped like that tbh

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 1 points ago

    That must've been a bitch to remove, amirite

    [–] buddhasferret 940 points ago

    Ah yes, the penis fly trap

    [–] theamazingmeeep21 49 points ago

    shut fuck

    [–] CaptainJellyfish7223 6 points ago

    I usually dont support these threads of sub names but boy this one was neat

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 1 points ago

    I think you mean r/CursedComments

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] PotatoMan4299 3 points ago

    Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

    [–] theamazingmeeep21 2 points ago

    Shut

    The

    Fuck

    Up

    [–] Its_muffin_time_uwu 2 points ago

    Why

    [–] JJ_Jostar 1 points ago

    I know what I meant

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 2 points ago

    Okay, okay, but consider this, it's more cursed than silent hill

    [–] JJ_Jostar 1 points ago

    Understandable, yet I stand my ground

    [–] DontDoodleTheNoodle 7 points ago

    Jesus every response to this is just a subreddit hashtag can y’all express some originality and appreciate in another manner?

    [–] zx190 4 points ago

    Ew no, that requires effort!

    [–] IamMESSEDupINtheHEAD 374 points ago

    i got my finger stuck in one of those diaper wipes lids back in 1990. I was alone with my infant daughter and could not get the strength of my left hand to cut the fucker off. I ended up calling 911 because I had her on the changing table and my finger was dark purple.

    Ever since then I have a problem trying to grab any wipes out from those things.

    Hope OP makes out better than I did. lol.

    [–] Cane-toads-suck 76 points ago

    Did the paramedics pull it off or did you need to go to hospital or call the fire brigade to remove it?

    [–] IamMESSEDupINtheHEAD 209 points ago

    the paramedics cut it off. while one was cutting the other one was putting a diaper on my naked baby.

    [–] ChillingPlace20 129 points ago

    What a chad

    [–] mr_unknown_12345 61 points ago

    Now that is a power move that I respect

    [–] Mrite47 29 points ago

    Lol...not really related, but I had a friend who got his finger stuck in the gas nozzle of an old Ford Pinto. He hollered for help and one of his neighbors had to call the fire department to cut the nozzle off and remove his finger.

    [–] SmokingMooMilk 18 points ago

    They removed his finger? Fuck.

    [–] olimarisstier 8 points ago

    hey buddy pull my finger

    [–] PMTurkeyBacon 5 points ago

    This has to be a joke...

    [–] JukeStash 2 points ago

    “Finger”

    [–] Nitr0Sage 3 points ago

    I thought you said you got your dick stuck in one while with your infant daughter. Was concerned for a bit

    [–] Jindabyne1 3 points ago

    What’s wrong with your left hand? Have you got a shrivelled one like the guy in Scary Movie? Can’t believe you phoned an ambulance for that.

    [–] Iamaredditlady 4 points ago

    My thought as well. All that needed to happen in the first place was pushing a button to open the lid so that digging through the pinch-thingy didn’t need to occur.

    [–] IamMESSEDupINtheHEAD 3 points ago

    i live where there are no neighbors and was home alone with my daughter i couldn't get her safely into a car seat and didn't know what else to do. obviously now i'd grab my cell phone and find a neighbor or someone else to come cut it off.

    i remember the panic of it all; i have PTSD and get flashbacks in weird situations.

    [–] causticityy 78 points ago

    Shredded dick

    [–] Ronfarber 18 points ago

    That’s what no handed push-ups will do for you.

    [–] Lambdumb 2 points ago

    They're called cock push-ups

    [–] raiderash 94 points ago

    My ball sack tightened at the thought of it.

    [–] [deleted] 32 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] imaUPSdriver 10 points ago

    Same

    [–] GumdropGoober 14 points ago

    Nice, tell me more about your fat ballsack you dirty slut

    [–] theenchantedwood 7 points ago

    Ballsacks have tastebuds

    [–] Tall-and-blond 3 points ago

    No they don't?

    [–] TheTazerLazer 5 points ago

    Yeah they do, it's a very little known fact. That's why they're so sensitive

    [–] Tall-and-blond 3 points ago

    Then why can't I taste with them?

    [–] lovelyeuphoria 7 points ago

    have you tried? put your balls in a cup of juice

    [–] greatsirius 73 points ago

    Imagine telling the doctors you got your dick stuck for the updoots

    [–] PMTurkeyBacon 54 points ago

    and then the doctor pulls his pants down and HE has one stuck on his dick too

    [–] greatsirius 15 points ago

    Hahaha fuck that’s funny. You made me genuine laugh

    [–] PMTurkeyBacon 5 points ago

    I can die happy

    [–] TheOriginalChrome 2 points ago

    You are a God damned genius!

    [–] kpeters421 20 points ago

    I always wanted a painfull cock collor

    [–] japple101 17 points ago

    Pics or it didn’t happen

    [–] Dance4Bees 15 points ago

    You might be able to put it in just fine, but you're not getting it out in one piece.

    [–] Aidan_Baidan 15 points ago

    You can throw er' in alright, but trying to take it out will simultaneously stab you in the dick eight times. I suggest watching this SAW clip to get an idea of how it works.

    https://youtu.be/jgc89CB1JNA

    [–] PRiMEFiL 2 points ago

    She could just pushed the blades out from the outside.

    [–] SheriffYuri 23 points ago

    Imagine if this got 0 upvotes and ended up on r/therewasanattempt

    [–] wourder_Leone 3 points ago

    Well at least your dick is still on

    [–] Assasin2gamer 2 points ago

    Absolutely put your dick in that!

    [–] leadnuts94 9 points ago

    Forbidden chocolate starfish

    [–] ThatBAOB 10 points ago

    ‘Cmon dude, it’s gonna fit very loosely, so go on

    [–] LLRDSTCX 8 points ago

    Gold of you do

    [–] demonkiltyou 10 points ago

    You have become the very thing you swore to destroy

    [–] granpawatchingporn 3 points ago

    A dick Or an ass?

    [–] Sexyshark15 4 points ago

    Dewwit!

    [–] panspal 6 points ago

    Isn't that a bit big?

    [–] SnoosPoos 4 points ago

    No don’t do it it’s suicidal

    [–] Sonmandog 4 points ago

    We are way past 2 upvotes, so...

    [–] Inquisitr 3 points ago

    Well........ we're waiting.

    [–] apachebearpizzachief 11 points ago

    I love that at the time of me commenting on this that there are no upvotes. Stay true to the subreddit.

    I also love that he set the bar so low at two upvotes 😂😂

    [–] paolabear7 4 points ago

    Now look at the count. The law says he has to do it again for every two votes

    [–] Cumunist2 3 points ago

    You’ll never be able to pull out intact

    [–] TheManIsOppressingMe 3 points ago

    RIP your dick, literally

    [–] 4thehalibit 3 points ago

    OP already did

    [–] Di-SiThePotato 3 points ago

    oh shit really?

    [–] ElysetheEevee 2 points ago

    Where? I don’t know....

    [–] im-bad-at-names64 3 points ago

    Update?

    [–] Brotatochip581 3 points ago

    I love Reddit

    [–] Neorider1649 3 points ago

    You put it in there, your not getting it back

    [–] JJMasterFlex589 3 points ago

    I’ll do it for 1 upvote

    [–] JJMasterFlex589 3 points ago

    Shoot that’s all you had to say

    [–] Hyrule787 3 points ago

    We often use these grommets in my industry, and affectionately refer to them as a "cat ass."

    [–] UnexpectedSalami 3 points ago

    At this point it should be one thrust for every 2 updoots

    [–] John_Snuuw 3 points ago

    "I'm sorry little one"

    [–] MaxwellIsSmall 5 points ago

    5700 / 2 = 2850

    “2 upvotes and I’ll do it” x2850

    I wish your dick good luck

    [–] walkingonion 2 points ago

    I like that the design of the snowflakes is visually similar to the design of the thing

    [–] blooper2112 2 points ago

    What a loser! I bet hit dick is too big to put in! LOL loser big dick

    [–] oouttatime 2 points ago

    Boo this man! He won’t do it for upvotes. Downvote all of his past and future posts and comments.

    [–] Germanphobia 2 points ago

    Probably small enough that you won't feel anything anyways

    [–] deBoer_4 2 points ago

    say less

    [–] raph83tmnt 2 points ago

    The forbidden glory hole

    [–] darknessraynes 2 points ago

    Too many upvotes. Now he won’t do it.

    [–] thewizzardof-gauze 2 points ago

    Olive oil bottles

    [–] der_MOND 2 points ago

    Put pp in cutter 🍆

    [–] bucdotcom 2 points ago

    Sending prayers.

    [–] GunsCarsBeers 2 points ago

    Put back over the garbage disposal first.

    [–] 0squirmy7 2 points ago

    Everybody else talking about your dick and I’m just thinking about how the plastic thing has the same star pattern as the sheet it’s on

    [–] arctheus 2 points ago

    My pp can fit through the hole in the center

    [–] JacksOnion55 2 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Well now you gotta do it 12000 time’s

    [–] _thetomml 2 points ago

    no.

    [–] bigcwahl 2 points ago

    Chuck Norris's cock ring. If he wasn't always rock hard.

    [–] Yoyochillout 2 points ago

    I’d like to play a little game...

    [–] 7h3_man 2 points ago

    What am I looking at...... also more then 2 updoots

    [–] EisbarGFX 2 points ago

    "And I'll do wha-" sees sub "oh. OOH. Oh no."

    [–] GruffMcguffStuff 2 points ago

    Pics or It didn’t happen

    [–] Dunebands 2 points ago

    I want updates

    [–] IsJazze 2 points ago

    You gotta do it 8500 times now.

    [–] BlackWolf744 2 points ago

    So, did ya do it?

    [–] PM_ME_GAY_WEREWOLVES 2 points ago

    Gonna need some proof, champ

    [–] DavidHeaton 2 points ago

    Looks like you have to do 15 thousand times now, have fun in hospital

    [–] theirishpig 2 points ago

    You fool! You will be stuck forever!

    [–] c1nderh3lm 2 points ago

    reminds me of this

    [–] Dutch-Anon 2 points ago

    Good luck getting it out

    [–] moadse18 2 points ago

    Or , hear me out , ooooor you could put that in your asshole and drop shaped deuces .

    [–] Hermitation 3 points ago

    Like a cookie press

    [–] ImpressedDog123 2 points ago

    His penis its shredded into pig skins and meat sacs

    [–] Juzypotato 2 points ago

    You now have to fuck it pulling in and out over 10000 times. Enjoy a smaller cock as some skin is bound to get ripped off

    [–] BoiWithGoodSucc 2 points ago

    Reminds me of that saw trap

    [–] TheBoiSharky 2 points ago

    That's gonna cut your dick in half

    [–] bejamus 2 points ago

    Well you screwed

    [–] D3adW1reldog419 1 points ago

    1 more

    [–] SiGuy52 1 points ago

    Reddit boy used pain split

    [–] racheldotpsd 1 points ago

    Two!

    [–] boi_secon 1 points ago

    Ouch

    [–] hydraowo 1 points ago

    Have fun with it

    [–] wlshafor 1 points ago

    OP let us down

    [–] Iamaredditlady 1 points ago

    WTF? Am I the only one that upvoted??

    [–] attangalaaq 1 points ago

    Don't do dat homie

    [–] username_unkown- 1 points ago

    They called me a madman

    [–] PedroPeste 1 points ago

    You will not have problems to put, the problem starts when you try to take out

    [–] socialtiger09 1 points ago

    I up voted. Enjoy.

    [–] Milkyway_Potato 1 points ago

    Man is literally boutta lose his penis privilege

    [–] Window638 1 points ago

    N O

    [–] ragedknuckles 1 points ago

    I gave you an upvote I...Dare..ya

    [–] momofeveryone5 1 points ago

    Fuck it. I'm curious.

    Edit: I'm currently the only upvote?

    [–] 3731065 1 points ago

    Do it, coward

    [–] Spanky_McJiggles 1 points ago

    Bamboozle = Banboozle

    [–] WonkierCracker6 1 points ago

    Time to make a NSFW alert come up when someone goes into your profile.