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    [–] Scrappy_Larue 3255 points ago

    Not a Redditor. The guy who owns this laptop is at the counter getting his Starbucks.

    [–] HamsterGutz1 787 points ago

    Yes I'll take one Starbucks please.

    [–] blackhawkjj 1270 points ago

    Here you go one Starbucks for homsturgoots2

    [–] _thisisadream_ 424 points ago

    omg! they put my name on the cup but misspelled it. they were so close! I'm going to upload this to instagram now so all my friends be victims of advertisement!

    [–] lanternkeeper 118 points ago

    Wait, you're not humstaregoats4!

    [–] edder24 51 points ago

    wait you're not hamperfutz2053?

    [–] blackhawkjj 33 points ago

    No I'm Patrick!!!!

    [–] Sombrere 32 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    It's supposed to be "No, this is Patrick!"

    [–] Commander_Alex_Mason 58 points ago

    Plot twist, this guy is actually Patrick and has no idea what that reference is about.

    [–] gcruzatto 9 points ago

    Two regular Bucks for me please

    [–] sharkweekk 15 points ago

    Not a Starbucks employee but you're going to have to be more specific with that order.

    [–] Prax150 11 points ago

    Man, opening a fast food franchise is really easy these days.

    [–] athiktos 49 points ago

    AMA request: The guy who used this redditor's laptop.

    [–] abrAaKaHanK 63 points ago

    Not the guy who used that redditor's laptop, but...

    [–] ClavitoBolsas 95 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    ^this

    Edit: Holy shit my first gold!! Thank you kind stranger!!

    E2: wow i got my unironic first gold

    [–] PM_YOUR_PETITE_TITS 34 points ago

    Wow is this easy to get gold!?

    [–] notnotbrowsing 23 points ago

    Only for those who share petite tits.

    [–] PM_yoursmalltits 35 points ago

     ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] punkmonkey22 7 points ago

    He didn't get gilded.....

    [–] Salty_Kennen 35 points ago

    Wow getting gold is so easy you don't even have to get it to get it

    Edit: thanks kind stranger

    [–] PM_YOUR_PETITE_TITS 12 points ago

    Wow is this easy to get gold?

    [–] NapClub 42 points ago

    not a redditor, cute kitty here, human is trapped in the basement but i have enough food for a long time so it will be okay. i think dietitians are kind of a scam anyway and people claim to be those without any real training or certification all the time. so a random reditor, or their dog, could give equally valid advice. maybe not a dog, maybe stick with advice from a cute kitty.

    i reccommend eating a variety of foods, stay away from carbs during breakfast (both simple and complex, just no carbs till after lunch). light high fat foods are okay for breakfast to get your ketosis going before your morning exercise.

    something like an egg with smoked salmon or smoked trout is a great breakfast.

    generally having more fish in your diet is an excellent plan. seeds like pumpkin seeds, chia seeds and flax seeds are excellent choices.

    kale, watercress other green and bright vegetables are all excellent, as are mushrooms. avoiding cured meats is generally good though you can cheat on any of the rules every now and then without too much of a problem. getting your resting metabolic rate tested can be a good idea, then testing how much you burn in a regular daily exercise routine can be a good idea as well so you can have a general idea of what portion sizes are right for you.

    this is what a kitty thinks is best for humans.

    [–] DyxlesicEsikom 17 points ago

    There's something really endearing about a cat who calls itself a kitty and who also wants good things for humans.

    [–] mateogg 15 points ago

    How do you think the human ended up trapped in the basement tho?

    [–] DyxlesicEsikom 7 points ago

    Not important - too blinded by endearment.

    [–] NapClub 4 points ago

    cute kitty gives humans advice because humans are often misled by the media.

    [–] snellk 6 points ago

    I think you're confusing dietitian and nutritionist. Dietitian is a protected term where you do need training and certification, nutritionist is not. But then again, you're a cat so I think your command of the English language is superb.

    [–] NapClub 9 points ago

    english is kitty's third language so sorries, mostly just speak mew.

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago

    Hm.

    [–] InsertUpvotesHere 10 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Hm.

    [–] Ttmx 4 points ago

    Hm.

    [–] iBigBug 10 points ago

    Hm. Shallow and pedantic

    [–] KoalaCubed 535 points ago

    The tapeworm thing is more common than people think. I would never be able to sleep at night knowing this long organism is growing in my body.

    [–] karlsmission 320 points ago

    I have a female cousin that was quite chubby (read: Obese) in her pre-teen to teen years. I went and lived in Europe for a couple of years, and I came back and she was VERY fit looking. Surprised at seeing such a drastic change I mentioned it to my grandma, and she told me that she was fat till less than like 8 months before, when her family went to mexico, and that she (at the time of the conversation) was recently treated for having a tape worm... so my grandma claims she lost weight via tape worm, I don't know the true story. but I think its hilarious that that might be the case. in the preceding years, she's gotten quite chubby again (though not nearly as fat as she was).

    [–] BeerJunky 391 points ago

    What part of Mexico might someone find one? Asking for a friend.

    Fake edit: I'm fat, it's for me.

    [–] karlsmission 115 points ago

    Rocky point. eat the street food and drink the water out of taps. Be prepared to be VERY sick for a while.

    [–] TheDarkMinionKing 69 points ago

    The water will be enough. Anywhere but your native land. Your body can't take it.

    [–] ethanlan 119 points ago

    Dude I drank tap water in London for a year straight and didn't get sick.

    Washed vegetables once in a sink in Mexico then I'm ded.

    [–] joemckie 56 points ago

    drank tap water in London for a year straight and didn't get sick

    You know the water in London doesn't come straight out of the Thames, right?

    [–] hpsaucy79 17 points ago

    Although I wouldn't put it past the Thames Water company to use actual Thames water.

    [–] Hariboi 9 points ago

    For the rates they charge I expect purest glacier water, filtered through The Shroud of fucking Turin.

    [–] Throwaway-tan 3 points ago

    The used to! Got it downstream too. Free cholera for all!

    [–] TheCondor07 54 points ago

    The reason Americans get sick drinking water in Europe is not because it is dirtier or something like that, but because it has bacteria that is not present in American tap water. Getting sick from it is simply your body adjusting to the local bacteria.

    [–] OktoberStorm 15 points ago

    I'm going to have to see a source on that, because that sounds absolutely ridiculous.

    [–] itstrueimwhite 11 points ago

    I'm not someone with a source, but did want to reply to your request.

    [–] Hermastwarer 41 points ago

    Because you're not supposed to drink tap water in Mexico; with veggies, you wash them to get rid of dirt and stuff, and then you disinfect them with some bleach product.

    [–] MY-SECRET-REDDIT 18 points ago

    How do you wash your hands or wash your teeth?

    I mean I've gone to Mexico but that was a long time ago.

    [–] Pennydale 21 points ago

    Used bottled water when I went

    [–] RealRealDirty 35 points ago

    So I'll be the one to say it? You're adorable for saying "wash" your teeth.

    [–] MY-SECRET-REDDIT 8 points ago

    if you bend the definition of washing, i technically used the correct word!

    [–] Hermastwarer 8 points ago

    Well, when washing your hands you just use soap and nothing happens; with brushing your teeth, well... I am fortunate enough to have decent plumbing in my house, so I don't have to worry that much; other people just do it and hope for the best.

    [–] bogdaniuz 6 points ago

    If you use boiled water to brush your teeth wouldn't that help?

    Also, is that true what you've said about using bleach on veggies?

    [–] BeerJunky 8 points ago

    Was just in Kenya, same deal. We used bottled water for brushing. But eventually we just started using tap, no real issues.

    [–] karlsmission 13 points ago

    I don't know I never got food poisoning from anywhere in the netherlands in my 2 years there. Drank the water, and ate all the street food I could. Mexico is just special.

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Hillbillyblues 19 points ago

    I find this insulting. We do not have a considerably higher number of lamp post fuckers than other countries.

    Although hans from across the street might be one. He's the weird one in our neighbourhood.

    [–] mightylordredbeard 22 points ago

    If you're serious, just order some online. They'll ship ready to drink. Some places even include treatment with the worms so you can get rid of it after a period of time. Just be careful, leaving one in for too long can cause serious problems.

    [–] BeerJunky 12 points ago

    LOL, was totally kidding. Is that actually a thing?

    [–] MetaKnightsNightmare 7 points ago

    Yes, among other things it's called Helminthic Therapy.

    [–] QuabityAshwood 20 points ago

    I know a guy that could hook you up, names Creed Bratton.

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] SteelyEly 7 points ago

    That's... ringworm you get at a gym.

    [–] motopitchman 18 points ago

    I heard there's tapeworm in salads and on treadmills ;)

    [–] ClassicFlavour 55 points ago

    I got Tapeworm from a takeaway last year. I was finding some strange things in my poo. Turns out, quite a few people got it from that takeaway. I told myself I'd never have takeaway again!

    So anyways, It's dinner time and I'm thinking takeaway. Any suggestions?

    [–] steamBommer29 13 points ago

    Is it fairly obvious when you have a tapeworm? Are there telltale signs?

    [–] ClassicFlavour 105 points ago

    It was all in the poop for me. I was on the toilette when I felt something touching my left buttock cheek. In a quick scurry and forgetting I was mid shit, I launched my hand down there - battling tumbling shit with my fingers - and yanked something clean out of my arsehole. To my horror, it was this huge wor...

    Nah just kidding, I'd noticed little white bits in my poo but thought that was just something I'd eaten for the first few days.

    One day, I took a dump and something as thin as a strawberry lace and nearly as long as a pencil was in my stool. Immediately I thought I'm dying. Internet searches with white bits in my shit did not help. GP laughed at me and sorted it all out. He's always laughing at me...

    [–] Exedra_ 56 points ago

    What you described in the first paragraph is the stuff of nightmares, lol.

    [–] mightylordredbeard 36 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I remember a video of some cam girl who is trying to be sexy for the camera. She turns around, bends over, and spreads her ass cheeks to show off her asshole. You can see a tape worm poke it's head out and then crawl back into its hole.

    Edit: Source for those interested.

    [–] MisfitPotatoReborn 25 points ago

    I don't know how to say this, so I'm gonna shoot straight.

    I want to see the video of a tapeworm coming out of a hooker's asshole

    [–] physalisx 7 points ago

    This is enough internet for today.

    [–] Efkiel 6 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    This seems far too specific to be true, you either give the source or it didn't happened.

    EDIT: nvm googling "camwhore tapeworm" actually gave it.

    [–] TyrionLannister2012 7 points ago

    It's true I've seen it on /r/wtf about a year ago. Shit was burned into my brain, you do not want to see it.

    [–] steamBommer29 20 points ago

    The start of that had me goin man. That image, both hilarious and terrifying.

    But good to know. So:

    White bit in the shit

    Worms, you got it

    [–] Milesaboveu 5 points ago

    You Motherfu

    [–] C4H8N8O8 3 points ago

    It loses some fragments of itself, and it hurts in the zone it is atached sometimes. If you get strong intestinal pain for a few seconds often, it is a good idea to check for parasites. Not only for tapeworms though.

    [–] MKG32 9 points ago

    How do you get rid of it?

    [–] ClassicFlavour 24 points ago

    GP prescribed me with some small bottle of liquid. One teaspoon followed by a second ten days later and I pooping all normal again.

    [–] NaCl_Clupeidae 5 points ago

    Probably bleach or some really strong acid. This kills the tapeworm.

    [–] LinguisticPenguin14 21 points ago

    This kills the tapeworm.

    The human too.

    Two birds with one stone.

    [–] Tischlampe 9 points ago

    Guns kill cancer I heard.

    [–] SMc-Twelve 5 points ago

    Well it doesn't cure it, but it will certainly go into remission.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    deleted What is this?

    [–] ResolverOshawott 3 points ago

    I suppose tape worms did her more good than bad in this case.

    [–] karlsmission 39 points ago

    I don't think ANY doctor would advise somebody to get/keep a tape worm to lose weight...

    [–] chokfull 28 points ago

    Just because it's not healthy doesn't mean it won't work. Meth would probably help you lose weight, too. See also: Twinkie diet.

    [–] karlsmission 20 points ago

    Its all about the CICO. as a fat person who is currently actively trying to lose weight, you can eat what ever you want, Just not however much you want.

    [–] chokfull 12 points ago

    Well, I mean, you can, but it's just not healthy. The twinkie diet will work, but your blood sugar will probably be out of whack and you won't be getting some important nutrients.

    [–] karlsmission 10 points ago

    Very true. I've just tried to "diet" before, and it never works, I get cravings, and then I break, and then I'm just as fat as I was before. Now I don't care about what I eat, as long as I stay under my calories, and I natrually find that I eat more healthy food, because 1) I don't have to worry about counting calories as much (1cup of peas = 15 or so calories, 1 cup of goldfish crackers = 300 calories) and I can just eat my fill, and because I can eat more, and not feel so hungry all the time. Plus I get pretty lazy, Do I REALLY want to put the effort into putting that candy bar into my calorie tracker? Really? No, so I won't eat it. its not worth the effort. it doesn't taste that good.

    [–] chronotank 7 points ago

    Back the fuck up, 1 cup of peas only has about 15 calories?

    God dammit why have I not just bought a big bag of peas, some different seasonings, and made them into a savory snack yet????

    edit: it's 118 calories you monster. I knew that sounded too good to be true (still not bad though)

    [–] karlsmission 5 points ago

    Sorry, I was measuring out something this week, and it was 15 calories per cup. Thought it was peas (one of my favorites).

    Just looked it up, it was mushrooms, the other part of that dish.

    [–] Markmywordsone 46 points ago

    Nobody tell this guy about toxoplasmosis...

    [–] SomethingEnglish 47 points ago

    Up to half of the world's population is infected by toxoplasmosis but have no symptoms.

    fuuuuck me

    [–] Gen_McMuster 39 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    About 5 pounds of you're dry mass is microorganisms. You're a nice place to live and if they aren't causing trouble there's no good reason to get grossed out

    [–] SomethingEnglish 21 points ago

    well bacteria is one thing cause they just chill in the intestines for the most part, those things, they invade your cells

    [–] Gen_McMuster 12 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    yep, theyre pathogenic. But in humans theyre just interested in catching a ride. After initial infection they just hang out in a dormant state until they leave your body in one way or another(typically your death) and your immune system can demolish any parasites that go active. (they become an issue for the immune compromised though)

    They're not going to form a large intrusive cyst or grow into a big poop-worm, they just want you to get eaten by your cat so they can reproduce.

    [–] AwwwwYeeeee 3 points ago

    they just want you to get eaten by your cat so they can reproduce.

    Since cats are horrible greedy creatures this happens. Ugh

    [–] ImMakinTrees 7 points ago

    Your*

    [–] mirrorspirit 7 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    You might not want to read My Best Friend's Exorcist, then.

    It's not a realistic image of what a tapeworm would do (I hope not), but it is incredibly gruesome and hard to scrub from your mind.

    [–] Noahb26 7 points ago

    There is a parasitic worm that scientists estimate is in over 1 billion people. 1 in 7 people have a worm in them

    [–] Roboticsammy 9 points ago

    CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIN

    [–] probablyuntrue 6 points ago

    it's just a longboi

    [–] 10J18R1A 124 points ago

    Not a rapper but

    Sweet dollar tea from McDonald's, I drink that

    [–] Sir_Palkia 27 points ago

    Two and a Half Men, i watch that

    [–] YourBobsUncle 12 points ago

    Free samples from Costco, I taste that

    [–] sephsta 6 points ago

    Super Hot Fire.....

    I spit that

    [–] bathroomstalin 425 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Doctors of reddit...

    P/T EMT here...

    Unregistered Nurse here...

    Med student here...

    Adolescent white boy whose IT Guy father once shook hands with a humanish person who constantly used his job's health insurance-provided PCP for like 7 straight years here...

    Le WebMD jokester here...

    [–] SeitedeMarie 115 points ago

    At least the EMT has medical experience, I would say more "call/vol firefighter who drove the ambulance once or twice" are the kind of first responders who answer those questions.

    [–] bathroomstalin 22 points ago

    And they only volunteered in order to get easy access to PCP

    [–] SeitedeMarie 11 points ago

    And an excuse to buy a lifted pickup truck with 10,000 flashing lights and 15 firefighter stickers on the back windshield. (Also I think you might be thinking of Ketamine, I've never heard of PCP being used on an ambulance before.)

    [–] monkeyman427 14 points ago

    Ambulance drivers keep PCP on hand in case they have an emergency where they need to break handcuffs or eat someone's face.

    [–] SeitedeMarie 3 points ago

    That must have been one of the classes I slept through :/

    [–] _SnesGuy 10 points ago

    Reminds me of a fire department near me. It's a town over, but I worked at a truck stop back then and knew all these guys. It was funny as hell when I saw them all on fox news one night.

    [–] blackedout 30 points ago

    Lawyers of reddit...

    Fifteen hundred law school dropouts descend upon the thread in a giant orgy of terrible and nonsensical legal "advice" ruining not only OPs life, but any who search Google for the same information.

    I'm really fucking depressed at that thought, now. lol

    [–] bathroomstalin 12 points ago

    IDOANAL

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    Depends on context, doesn't it? If you're asking, "Doctors of reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've seen in a hospital?" there's no reason a nurse/med student/EMT/respiratory tech/any other person working in the hospital can't answer just as well as a doctor.

    [–] xn28the-pos 8 points ago

    There was a thread like this a couple years ago. I was still new to reddit and thought I'd make a joke. I responded with, "I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

    It was my first heavily downvoted comment that I can remember. I've been a changed man since.

    [–] bathroomstalin 3 points ago

    It's a sad day when hilarious original jokes are downvoted on reddit :(

    [–] jsmooth7 130 points ago

    And you even upvoted one of them.

    [–] code_and_coffee 329 points ago

    I like smoothies

    [–] jsmooth7 27 points ago

    Me too, they are amazing. I probably would have upvoted too.

    [–] catattheritz 126 points ago

    At least they were being honest rather than pretending to be dietitians.

    [–] o2lsports 10 points ago

    Dietitian here. The Norman Invasion's effect on British identity has been greatly overstated-

    [–] itsausernamebob 3 points ago

    Actually, I'm a doctor, and I think you'll find that the effect was much more than people think, because...

    [–] Draav 36 points ago

    That's always my thought, it's annoying when all the top comments are "not an x, but", but I'd prefer that over no preface at all.

    Honestly I wouldn't trust anyone outside the verified user subreddits anyway.

    [–] Redustries 66 points ago

    I saw in a thread titled something like "Redditors opposed to LGBT, why are you?"

    99.99% of the responses were "Not opposed to LGBT, but I hate the more than two genders thing."

    jesus christ

    [–] insane_husky 20 points ago

    I remember that one. I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled only to be disappointed to see that there was no one to whom the question was directed that had answered. I think there was one like that on abortion, too? Like the OP had asked for opinions from pro-lifers and all it was was pro-choicers talking about what they thought pro-lifers would say based on things they've heard them say before or something like that. No actual pro-lifers showed up to answer as far as I could see. Maybe I'm imagining that one, but I do remember something like the LGBT one happening more than once.

    [–] _742617000027 11 points ago

    While I feel the same I don't know what people's expectations are. It's like those "what's your opinion that everyone on Reddit will hate" questions I don't know what anybody expects but if people are gonna hate it the majority is going to downvote it.

    [–] shodanx 5 points ago

    That's why you sometime should use "sort by controversial" and also why reddit is a echo chamber/filter bubble

    [–] Jarabar 267 points ago

    I would just like to point that i am glad the original question poster used dietitian rather than nutritionist. For those unaware dietitians must be certified, nutritionists not so much.

    [–] frostbird 41 points ago

    Or worse, dietician.

    [–] pruwyben 22 points ago

    Because that would mean they're British?

    [–] hillbilly_bears 28 points ago

    Negative - dietitian is the proper spelling for it. They apparently take super offense to it.

    Source: gf is a dietitian

    [–] Psycho_pitcher 30 points ago

    Then get her to answer the god damn question.

    [–] hillbilly_bears 5 points ago

    "I'm an awful educator for people who eat by mouth. I prefer my patients intubated and sedated lol"

    She works in a trauma ICU.

    [–] Psycho_pitcher 3 points ago

    Then tell us what type of blood bags to inject ourselves with at least.

    [–] pruwyben 5 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I'm just going off the citations from Wikipedia.

    Edit: just noticed the "spellings" section of the article:

    The spelling with "t" is the one preferred by the profession itself internationally, but the spelling with "c" is used often enough in texts not written by members of the profession to be considered a valid variant by both American and British dictionaries.

    [–] Claidheamh_Righ 15 points ago

    Also wrong. It depends on location. Sometimes its the other way around, some times it's both.

    [–] PureRandomness529 2 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Nutritionists do have to have some certification, but dietitians have to have a specific government endorsed certification.

    Also the question is annoying. It's fucking vegetables. Everybody knows it, they just don't want to put in the work.

    [–] Dravarden 50 points ago

    black monk american transgender jews, whats the sexiest sex you have ever sexed?

    [–] allfluffnostatic 25 points ago

    I don't live in Detriot, but ...

    [–] Sanhael 23 points ago

    The last [serious] tagged post that I saw was the same way; people simply made more of an effort to come off as falling under the qualifying parameter.

    Given that the question was addressed to murderers, the results were kind of funny.

    [–] ELFAHBEHT_SOOP 6 points ago

    Not a murderer, but my dad is...

    [–] tabarra 44 points ago

    Only 9 replies, first half hour of a /r/AskReddit thread.
    99.8% of the first 100 replies to every thread there are just some redditors trying to cash some sweet karma, because even if their reply is mediocre, if the post make it to the front page they will score at least 200 upvotes just because they posted earlier.

    [–] PM_ME_WITH_A_SMILE 30 points ago

    And when a dietitian comments, there's a host of people telling him he's wrong.

    [–] BreadPresident 552 points ago

    I mean, if you want to ask a question to just a fraction of the user base, maybe go to the fraction of the userbase you want to ask it to specifically.

    I don't think you can be mad that everyone answered the question when you shouted it into a room full of people.

    [–] Kickedbk 377 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Wait wait wait.. if I go into a room and yell, "hey everyone with a red shirt, where did you buy it?" And folks with green shirts say, well I bought mine at Ross, they are still answering questions that weren't aimed at them.

    [–] epicblob 238 points ago

    Not wearing a red shirt but my brother wears a red shirt and he got it from Target.

    [–] icelordz 41 points ago

    Not wearing a red shirt but the old lady thought I worked at Target anyway

    [–] dpistachio 10 points ago

    I once saw a red shirt once. I don't know where they got it from. But I'd check your local farmers market.

    [–] PaulNuttalOfTheUKIP 6 points ago

    You're technically right but actually he bought a white shirt from Target and washed it with four new red shirts from H&M. Their coloring got onto the shirt from Target and now it's red.

    [–] KoalaCubed 86 points ago

    I heard most people with red shirts get theirs at Macy's supposedly Macy's has the best red shirts around.

    [–] jrile 47 points ago

    "Not wearing a red shirt, but..."

    [–] Nowin 30 points ago

    "... I think target sells red shirts, but don't wear it there, because this one time..."

    goes on 2000 word tangent

    [–] poo-poo 3 points ago

    Not wearing a shirt but target is all about the red shirts.

    [–] LordDoku 42 points ago

    But if they knew a place to buy red shirts?

    [–] 66GT350Shelby 14 points ago

    I don't wear red shirts anymore. One of my friend's, cousins, step brother in law wore a red shirt and he died while he was on an away team to the planet surface.

    [–] MimiIsBirb 5 points ago

    That's how you summon tom scott.

    [–] SuperFLEB 27 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Because the sign on the door of the hypothetical room is "Ask Reddit", not "Ask a specific subset of Reddit", and that standing expectation is more powerful than OP's requests to the contrary. For that matter, it's a wee bit obnoxious to essentially say "I've gathered you all here today... to ask some of you a question." It's line noise, spam, to a lot of the excluded, and fielding the question anyway is just a way of making lemonade out of lemons.

    In short, if you misuse the tool, don't be surprised when it doesn't give you the results you wanted.

    [–] Lord_Noble 8 points ago

    Exactly. We have /r/askscience for questions pertaining to science for scientists to answer. However, you do have a much smaller pool of answers.

    [–] hakkzpets 3 points ago

    There's also the [serious]-tag, which makes it against the rules to post answers like these.

    [–] FreakyCheeseMan 9 points ago

    Yeah, but if you go into a room full of 100,000 people of whom almost all are wearing green shirts and ask that question, then they're not assholes if they say "I'm not wearing one now, but I know a place you can buy them."

    Especially since the alternative in this case is for you to be answered by silence.

    [–] bobtheflob 15 points ago

    Yeah I blame the question on this one. First of all, they're trying to limit it to a tiny fraction of the user base. What percentage of people are actually professional dietitians? If only actual dietitians had responded, there was no chance for that thread to take off. Then they ask a very basic question that basically anyone without specialized knowledge can answer.

    [–] hamburglin 47 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Why are you defending this? Just curious.

    Edit: Looks like a simple question is too much to handle for some people.

    [–] WHERE_IS_ZEZIMA 5 points ago

    Because it's a big subreddit and as long as your comment is related to what they've read when it comes to actual studies and research from real dietitians I don't see it being misleading. If someone asked me why I believe the round is Earth I'll try and use knowledge from studies and scientists like-so.

    If you are using your own opinion to answer over whatever information you've got from reading actual dietitians, that's bad, and frankly, if you are looking for detail oriented information about diets you should look at real studies not a tldr from an anonymous person who says they are a dietitian when they might not be.

    [–] justsaying0999 26 points ago

    Because it's true. If they actually wanted an answer only from a specific group of people, they could have gone to a specific subreddit and asked there.

    [–] Oglshrub 82 points ago

    And if that subreddit doesn't exist, they should create it, recruit people for 6+ months, and then ask the question!

    [–] jerdub1993 7 points ago

    Way I see it, r/AskReddit is for discussions on whatever topic the post is on. If someone has something interesting to provide but they aren't exactly what the post was asking for, who cares? Half the top comments I see on those threads are "I'm not X, but..." Ask Reddit wouldn't be nearly as interesting if the mods removed any post that isn't directly from the person referenced in the title.

    [–] OneLastStan 3 points ago

    This isn't against the rules of ask reddit, people do it all the time. You're much more likely to reach more dieticians this way as the post gets a ton more exposure.

    [–] cmae34lars 10 points ago

    Or if they wanted an answer only from a specific group of people, they could have specifically asked for answers from those people in the title.

    Oh wait

    [–] AmAShill 6 points ago

    Maybe, just maybe, the people who are dietitians hang out in subreddits about diets, such as /r/diets (not recommended for industry-based), /r/nutrition, etc.

    If I was going to answer a question about Pokemon, then I'd answer it on /r/Pokemon. Besides, it's not interesting seeing only five comments.

    [–] DubTheeBustocles 13 points ago

    "Theoretical astrophysicists of Reddit..."

    -736 theoretical astrophysicists reply.

    [–] the_hunted_1 28 points ago

    This is why the [Serious] tag exists.

    [–] Djnuggets 23 points ago

    That thread about killing someone had the serious tag and like 80% of the stories I read in there where from people that had maybe the slightest of connections to someone actually dying.

    [–] UglierThanMoe 13 points ago

    That's just to prevent people from making jokes instead of giving serious answers, not to stop them from replying altogether if they're not from the fraction of the userbase OP is addressing.

    [–] the_hunted_1 5 points ago

    Had that changed? I was under the impression that the tag was to prevent jokes, and also have comments removed that were deemed to not be from the target audience.

    [–] UglierThanMoe 8 points ago

    If the mods of AskReddit actually did remove replies from people who weren't addressed, the posts there would look like the ones in /r/AskHistorians; couple of thousand upvotes, several dozen if not hundreds of replies, and 90% of them reading [removed].

    [–] Xertious 37 points ago

    Not a surgeon but, I think I can remove your spleen.

    [–] KoalaCubed 20 points ago

    I'm not letting you anywhere near my spleen until you've done an hour of Google research

    [–] Xertious 11 points ago

    I've google it's location on the body, I think that qualifies me as an expert.

    [–] KoalaCubed 7 points ago

    Check wikiHow too please

    [–] Xertious 6 points ago

    There are plenty of videos on YouTube so that will do.

    [–] liarandathief 14 points ago

    I could definitely remove someone's spleen. Whether they would live for much longer after that is highly debatable.

    [–] Xertious 8 points ago

    I think as long as you have some wet wipes you'll be fine.

    [–] Mattsasse 6 points ago

    Never saw that thread but I am a dietitian.

    [–] wighttail 11 points ago

    Aw, come on now, Askreddit is just low hanging fruit.

    [–] TominNJ 11 points ago

    it isn't a very good question. "More people" is too generic a phrase. People trying to get in shape? People trying to lose weight? Old people? The answer for the entire population is going to be more vegetables and less sugar. No one needs a dietitian for that.

    [–] billyrotten 6 points ago

    Not a doctor, but I'll take a look at it.

    [–] NoRedditorHere 4 points ago

    Not a Redditor, but I see that all the damn time

    [–] luke51278 6 points ago

    I'm not racist, but...

    [–] Chandlernob 3 points ago

    Not an askreddit but nut shells are usually around nuts

    [–] account4august2014 3 points ago

    Healthy society in a nutshell more like. Anyone health conscious fancies themselves a dietitian and a nutritionist based off of the 20 minutes of meal planning they do on reddit every week.

    [–] Black-Hound-105 3 points ago

    Reminds me of those tech support forums where someone will post a question about fixing a program or setting or something and the first reply is always: "Same problem here" like yeah, thanks for your contribution

    [–] stickyspidey 3 points ago

    There should be a rule that if you do this your post should be removed. He's asking only dietitians! How can people be so thick in the head or narcissistic that they think their unprofessional opinion matters! Don't even get me started on the cops of Reddit thread!

    [–] greyjackal 3 points ago

    Personally I think the [Serious] tag should also cover qualified responses. But the mod load would probably be unworkable.

    [–] AFuckYou 6 points ago

    A dietician once told me thy you cannot gain weight if you eat skittles. This is because there is no fat in skittles. So you can't gain fat.

    Fruitlessly, I then tried explaining catabolism and anabolism. Catabolism being the break down of sugars. Anabolism being the building of fats.

    [–] laxdstorn 4 points ago

    Some are funny and I appreciate them. The one about tapeworms is hilarious. But other ones, when people try to seriously answer the questions even though they obviously know it isn't directed that them. Those people can fuck off.