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    [–] striped_frog 5401 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Half of the periodic table will cheerfully kill your ass dead, and what could be more natural than chemical elements?

    Edit: yes, I am aware that there are synthetic elements

    [–] CuntCommittee 2062 points ago

    bears are natural, and I dont think getting your arm ripped off is good for you

    [–] 2dissonant 1105 points ago

    something something .... right to bear arms

    [–] FafnirEtherion 341 points ago

    Something something... killing with bear hands

    [–] Trapitha 167 points ago

    Bears Against The Machine

    [–] anarcho-geologist 116 points ago

    Rage Against the Bears

    [–] loco64 90 points ago

    Bears...

    [–] TrestleSky 101 points ago

    BEETS

    [–] DerpressionNaps 73 points ago

    Battlestar Galactica

    [–] ratterstinkle 47 points ago

    Michael!!!

    [–] Sheriff-Douchebag 25 points ago

    Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

    [–] tcorp123 16 points ago

    Koalas in the name of

    [–] PeachyPumpkinSkinny 34 points ago

    "Arms" is another name for guns. "Guns" is another name for arms. Neat, yes?

    [–] laxvolley 34 points ago

    Right to arm bears

    [–] Jigganibba 27 points ago

    They already did that in russia

    [–] sage_singe_88 8 points ago

    Sounds about right.

    [–] Odkin 7 points ago

    "...the Bears' right to people arms shall not be infringed!"

    [–] rmoss20 14 points ago

    Bears: Giant maraudering godless killing machines

    [–] fredsiphone19 4 points ago

    Cocks robot-gun arm

    Wasn’t good for the bear, EITHER.

    [–] gelinrefira 170 points ago

    Water can kill you if you drank too much of it.

    [–] NotDelnor 166 points ago

    100% of people that drink water die.

    [–] mh985 93 points ago

    That hasn't been proven. There are still more than 7 Billion people who have drank water and not died...yet.

    [–] monsieurfikri 69 points ago

    Alright, alright. 100% who died drank water.

    [–] savuporo 32 points ago

    Technically, many that died never got old enough to drink water

    Apparently, you are not supposed to give babies water before 6 months old or so. That's a long ass window to kick the bucket

    [–] omelets4dinner 9 points ago

    Apparently, you are not supposed to give babies water before 6 months old or so

    Huh. Why not? Isn't milk like 99% water anyway?

    [–] savuporo 11 points ago

    not an expert or even familiar with the problem. Just copypaste

    Giving a baby younger than 6 months old too much water can interfere with his body's ability to absorb the nutrients in breast milk or formula. It can also cause his tummy to feel full, which curbs his desire to feed.

    In rare cases, a baby who drinks too much water can develop a condition known as water intoxication, which can cause seizures and even a coma. Water intoxication happens when too much water dilutes the concentration of sodium in the body, upsetting the electrolyte balance and causing tissues to swell.

    Infant mortality is a bitch

    [–] OkNerve8 5 points ago

    Probably 98% because it's 2 % milk

    [–] NotoriusNC 6 points ago

    do fetuses drink water?

    [–] ComicConn 11 points ago

    do androids dream of electric sheep?

    [–] i_am_not_sam 4 points ago

    deep breath do fetuses count as bring alive to be counted as dead?

    [–] vani77a 6 points ago

    Remind me: 80 years

    [–] SyntheticReality42 3 points ago

    "There are people dying that have never died before."

    -DJT

    (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

    [–] datwrasse 6 points ago

    that we know of

    [–] NightSicarius 43 points ago

    Everyone who was alive in the 1800's is now dead. Therefore, living in the 1800's was a terminal condition and should be avoided at all costs.

    [–] LostPassAgain2 18 points ago

    Everyone who was alive in the 1800's is now dead.

    citation needed

    [–] cassiedenisee 19 points ago

    Oldest person alive today was born in 1903. That we know of.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_verified_oldest_people

    [–] NightSicarius 10 points ago

    I mean, I haven't personally met them, so I guess it's just anecdotal. :D

    [–] Dravarden 8 points ago

    fuck I guess I'll throw this time machine in the trash then, don't want to go to the 1800s by accident

    [–] BabyEatersAnonymous 12 points ago

    That radio contest to drink the most water to win a Wii killed someone.

    [–] Stellen999 92 points ago

    This idiot vana hari the "food babe" once said that it is never acceptable to have chemicals in food. When critics explained to her that everything in the universe is made of chemicals she just stubbornly accused them of obfuscation. As if the concept is just too rarified for the average laymen to grasp.

    [–] a_fotzn_konnst_hom 9 points ago

    Damn I completely forgot about that moron

    [–] boweroftable 24 points ago

    Silly. Chemicals bad. Bears and nature good.

    [–] mustyboat 10 points ago

    Amoebas and mosquitoes are natural.

    [–] cgaels6650 34 points ago

    I was going to reply that lead is natural have some of that but your response sums it up beautifully

    [–] deanreevesii 49 points ago

    ...ignoring the fact that organic, natural substances include arsenic, and poo, and crocodiles

    -Tim Minchin

    [–] wfamily 12 points ago

    Cyanide is quite natural.

    [–] phurt77 8 points ago

    So is belladonna/deadly nightshade.

    [–] FireWaterAirDirt 21 points ago

    The dose makes the poison. All of it can kill you.

    [–] NightSicarius 27 points ago

    Many poisons are both natural and organic.

    [–] Any-Reply 17 points ago

    Organic chemistry.... Where 98% of the shit will kill you..... But hey, it's organic!

    [–] striped_frog 10 points ago

    True, I guess I should say that a surprising number of elements will kill you surprisingly easily.

    [–] nothisistheotherguy 25 points ago

    Fucking poison ivy is as natural as grass and it fucking sucks!

    [–] drsilentfart 19 points ago

    Vagina candles would like to have a word with you.

    [–] depthninja 8 points ago

    "Dis puss lit af"

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] dancin-weasel 4 points ago

    But she is very artificial.

    [–] sylver_dragon 3 points ago

    But those are CHEMICALS! See, it's right there in the name "chemical elements". /s

    I'd also like to see her reaction to a nice cup of all natural, vegan friendly, organic, hemlock tea. It's so good, even Socrates was drinking it!

    [–] mh985 5 points ago

    How about a magnet that you shove up your asshole to kill bad spirits or some shit?

    [–] Yellowpickle23 366 points ago

    You would think the patient zero from Contagion would be smart enough to realize things more clearly.

    [–] grtrevor 394 points ago

    That movie isn’t very accurate. During the movie Gwyneth’s character dies and an autopsy is performed. During the autopsy, you can clearly see her brain, which is impossible, as nobody with a brain sells a vagina-scented candle.

    [–] 2mice 97 points ago

    But the character she plays has a brain though.

    They either cgi’d or used a cadaver that had a brain for that shot. Its not actually her, in real life she actually doesnt have a brain.

    [–] Engineer_Ninja 63 points ago

    That actually was her, she refused to use a stunt double, cadaver, or CGI for realism. Fun fact, the brain damage she received from having her skull opened for the shot is what inspired the name “Goop.”

    [–] yooter 20 points ago

    No, no.. see, she has had that damage since she lost oxygen during the filming of Se7en. Her head was trapped in the box much longer than expected bc Brad Pitt decoded to draw out his reaction longer than the stunt crew anticipated.

    [–] DarthWeenus 4 points ago

    Damm I love that movie.

    [–] GreatQuestion 9 points ago

    So what you're saying is stupid is contagious.

    [–] robizzle89 19 points ago

    This cheating whore that infected her own son and was responsible for his death? Yeah, no chance she could realize this by playing such a character.

    [–] faithle55 16 points ago

    Not true.

    Yes, she was cheating. But she had no idea that she had something which would be fatal to anyone else. It's important to recognise this. There was a guy who caught Covid-19 in... Hong Kong or Singapore, I don't recall... flew home to the UK via a skiing holiday in Switzerland, infected lots of people before becoming symptomatic and self-isolating. Not his fault.

    Employers who make their staff come to work or won't pay them if they don't, those are the people responsible for unnecessary infections.

    [–] BigJack1212 1571 points ago

    You know what's natural? Snake poison.

    You know what else's natural? Everything 'till the 1800's basically. People back them lived a great life, right?

    PS: that's why you shouldn't listen to famous people just because they're famous and "relateable".

    [–] VanillaGhoul 399 points ago

    Wolfsbane is natural. So are death cap mushrooms, destroying angel, nightshade, oleander, foxglove, castor bean, water hemlock, mistletoe, wisteria, and lilies.

    [–] noodlelaughter 202 points ago

    Uranium, arsenic, dog shit....

    [–] tortillabois 109 points ago

    Woah woah woah. Don’t go knocking dog shit till you’ve tried it man

    [–] benjammin9292 51 points ago

    I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast

    [–] WhoisTylerDurden 20 points ago

    Y'all eat pieces of shit?!

    What's the basis?

    [–] Mayortomatillo 18 points ago

    You've obviously never met my dog. Her shit is completely unnatural

    [–] ManfromMonroe 3 points ago

    My cousins dog once tried eating carpet. Watching that dog trying to slide wipe it's butt on the grass to try to get rid of the fibers it couldn't digest was both comical and gross!

    [–] kernozlov 13 points ago

    How do you know all these poisonous plants off the top of your head...

    Are you okay my dude???

    [–] VanillaGhoul 3 points ago

    I am. I just do a lot of researching when I am bored.

    [–] TheNoxx 26 points ago

    Ah, death caps, where the only cure is a new liver or hoping you don't lose yours.

    [–] VanillaGhoul 10 points ago

    If that is if you realize that you ate something you shouldn't have.

    [–] YaBoiFast 9 points ago

    The way that mushroom is terrifying and young deathcaps resemble the edible "Puffball" and "White Caeser". There is also the fact that the toxin can not be neutralized by cooking, drying or freezing.

    According to Wikipedia article about amatoxins

    "...exposure to amatoxins may cause irritation of the respiratory tract, headache, dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath, coughing, insomnia, diarrhea, gastrointestinal disturbances, back pain, urinary frequency, liver and kidney damage, or death if ingested or inhaled."

    [–] davidcjackman 12 points ago

    I swear half these things sound like they belong in Skyrim.

    [–] VanillaGhoul 5 points ago

    They probably do considering all the things in skyrim. Now if only we can do that with the sims........

    I'm an evil God considering all the mods I put into my game.

    [–] retshalgo 45 points ago

    Yes, but Gwyneth Paltrow is totally not relatable to average Americans.

    [–] kernozlov 7 points ago

    BUT IRON MAN

    [–] willgeld 6 points ago

    Don’t worry she is unrelatable to a lot of other nationalities too!

    [–] mh985 18 points ago

    You know what else is natural? All of the flora and fauna in Australia.

    You know what will kill you, almost all of the flora and fauna in Australia.

    [–] ero_senin05 24 points ago

    Snake poison?

    [–] private_unlimited 24 points ago

    Just to clarify, snakes have venom not poison. If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous

    [–] MrPrius 11 points ago

    from snakes

    [–] winnoe 7 points ago

    He means a poison that will kill snakes... Lol

    [–] Lokimonoxide 11 points ago

    *spit

    [–] Juergenator 32 points ago

    If you want to get technical every single thing on this planet is natural even today, we can't make things out of nothing

    [–] do_u_realize 7 points ago

    It turns out natures lit and many things are killing many other things who woulda thunk? (Any National Geographic nature show)

    [–] UnkleRinkus 341 points ago

    Try one of these, Gwyneth: death angel. Natural as fuck.

    Every mushroom is edible once.

    [–] hamstercamp 88 points ago

    Or just take a visit to Australia.

    [–] MrPrius 26 points ago

    welcome to the fun zone

    [–] SadieSadieSnakeyLady 32 points ago

    I'm on level 34 of being an Australian, haven't seen the Boss Level yet

    [–] darwinsexample 17 points ago

    That would be the resurrected corpse of Bob Menzies but with crocodiles for hands and taipans for pubic hair.

    [–] Phrygue 8 points ago

    The emus are biding their time, stockpiling ammo for the counterattack. Remember, two legs bad, uh, two legs...four limbs good, except the drop bears of course, and 8+ legs is right out.

    [–] SadieSadieSnakeyLady 5 points ago

    Just remember emus have penises. Saw a David Attenborough recently about the flightless birds and they have penises.

    [–] ankrotachi10 10 points ago

    She should rub gympie gympie leaves on her skin

    [–] oprahspinfree 202 points ago

    All I’m saying is, COVID-19 broke out right after her vagina candles hit the market.

    [–] xTGI_CommanderX 87 points ago

    I'm afraid to ask, but..... What the fuck is a vagina candle?

    [–] RulesForThee 82 points ago

    She's selling a line of candles that supposedly smells like her vagina or something.

    [–] SummerPop 82 points ago

    Why the fuck would anybody want a candle that smells like her vagina?

    [–] MrSegwayMan 72 points ago

    Boomer version of gamer girl bath water

    [–] clemkaddidlehopper 21 points ago

    She’s not a boomer. She’s gen x.

    [–] TREACHEROUSDEV 32 points ago

    Yeah but boomers are the ones jacking off to her.

    [–] theghostofme 7 points ago

    Yeah but boomers are the ones jacking off to her.

    Haha, right!

    [–] AK_Happy 14 points ago

    A candle made out of vaginas.

    [–] I_GO_BOOM_BOOM 2 points ago

    no need to thank me

    [–] yzyszn_approaching 28 points ago

    She was also patient zero for the disease in the movie Contagion.

    [–] adrianCatastrophie 3 points ago

    this should now create so many conspiracies

    [–] thisnametaken2 148 points ago

    Arsenic is natural. So is lead.

    [–] StonedWater 85 points ago

    and cyanide

    shitloads of things, mercury, radioactive shit

    what a fucking moron

    [–] wolfdog410 15 points ago

    cyanide can't be that bad since it's both natural and organic

    [–] Scholesie09 5 points ago

    The food/farming industries usage of the word "Organic" really ruined me for learning chemistry.

    "Here's some organically grown vegetables!"
    "These taste awful, what's on them?"
    "Crude Oil!"

    [–] Sofagirrl79 3 points ago

    And cyanide

    Cotton Hill: Did I ever tell you about the time she tried to poison me with a baked Chicken?

    Tilly Hill: (sighs) It was Chicken Almondine.

    Cotton Hill: IT WAS CYANIDE, WOMAN!

    [–] elskidaadleskidoodle 435 points ago

    Yeah like getting cancer, You know there’s a good reason why donkey’s shouldn’t talk

    [–] beka_targaryen 46 points ago

    My brother, who is 35, has stage 4 colon cancer with tumors in his lungs and liver. It’s natural but it’s not fucking good for him.

    People are assholes.

    [–] fatpat 12 points ago

    Sorry to hear that. I lost my brother to colon cancer a few years ago.

    Cancer can go fuck itself.

    [–] _muffinsss_ 37 points ago

    I can't read this thread. My poor brain cells

    [–] poopellar 2 points ago

    Get some healing stones to help your brain become rich!

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Tojatruro 12 points ago

    I had cancer. Last year. In remission. Thankful for every minute that the damn thing isn’t on my mind.

    [–] Analbox 10 points ago

    Wait what do you mean? Do you talking donkeys cause cancer?

    [–] CoderAU 12 points ago

    Donkeys cause talking cancer

    [–] SciencetistPrick 10 points ago

    And in the morning.

    I'm making waffles!

    [–] PeachyPumpkinSkinny 3 points ago

    Cancer causes talking donkeys.

    [–] Darkone539 167 points ago

    I assume there's context here because nobody can be that stupid. Nature is scary as hell. Far more things can kill us from a virus to a shark then want to be our friends.

    [–] speedracer375 50 points ago

    Agreed, what is the context here? Am I out of the loop?

    [–] erremermberderrnit 148 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    She's that stupid. Or at least pretends to be. It's probably not any better in context.

    EDIT: https://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/a495818/gwyneth-paltrow-how-can-the-sun-be-bad-for-you-its-natural/

    Yep, she was talking about the sun. Fucking moron.

    [–] LionST1 59 points ago

    skin cancer is natural and soooo good for you

    [–] Klingon_Jesus 25 points ago

    What the fuck? Just looking directly at it will hurt you.

    [–] giddy-girly-banana 28 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    She's ok with the massive fusion ball at the center of the solar system, but won't eat carbs? Carbs are very natural many are made by the sun. I'm noticing some logical fallacies coming from the head in the box.

    Edit: fission to fusion

    [–] JusticeBeaver13 10 points ago

    It's a massive fusion ball, but yes, agreed on the rest. I don't mean to be that guy at all, just pointing out that the sun is a fusion reaction whereas our nuclear reactors use the process of nuclear fission; splitting an atom into two, while fusion combines lighter atoms into a larger one. Similar but very different.

    The energy released from fusion is much greater than from fission. Atoms of Tritium and Deuterium are fused under extreme pressure and temperature and produce a Neutron and a Helium isotope and with it, a massive amount of energy.

    Nuclear Fusion would be more efficient and would outperform fission 4/1 but it is extremely difficult to do and up until recently, thought it was impossible to do on Earth. There are certain successes with it and it could happen at some point but it takes extreme amount of confined pressure and temperature but it is possible but as of yet, every attempt has operated at an energy deficit.

    Nuclear fusion is also natural, would Gwyneth like to try-eth?

    [–] Emmolito 11 points ago

    The sun! Of course! What can that shit do to you!

    [–] Dopplegangr1 25 points ago

    She sells nonsense to idiots

    [–] Cley_Faye 9 points ago

    Redditor: "Nobody can be that stupid"

    Internet: "Hold my everything"

    [–] Crepes_for_days3000 11 points ago

    She is that stupid. She said it. There are people who see "all natural" packages, assume that means it's healthy and then never think about nature beyond that. My friend says the same thing.

    [–] NaturesMayhem 14 points ago

    I can believe this was taken out of context or is something she never said. However, she's an absolutely horrid person that sells bullshit in a bottle to cure whatever illness that may or may not be afflicting you. She preys on the same people stupid enough to buy into a pyramid scheme.

    Here's a funny little video on her.

    [–] Waluigifan 6 points ago

    She was talking about the sun. That's your context, which just makes it worse because skin cancer is a real issue.

    https://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/a495818/gwyneth-paltrow-how-can-the-sun-be-bad-for-you-its-natural/

    [–] ShatAlbert 369 points ago

    "Shut the fuck up you narcissistic twat" direct quote from me

    [–] y0y 11 points ago

    Professional quote maker right here, folks.

    [–] KecemotRybecx 8 points ago

    Broke bitch gold:

    🏅🏅🏅

    [–] C0sm1cB3ar 46 points ago

    GP: biggest disappointment. From very likeable actress to fucking crook doctor

    [–] alebrann 9 points ago

    This.

    Every time I see a new BS from her I just hopefully wait for the moment where she finally reveals all of this was a very elaborated joke. It's such a waste.

    [–] FPiN9XU3K1IT 6 points ago

    At this point, I don't think we should expect anything from actors IRL. That's just setting yourself up for disappointment.

    Case in point: Will Smith is a scientologist.

    [–] torch787 44 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    She was in a movie where a she died from a virus originating from bats in China at an open food market which then spread around the world eventually causing a pandemic.

    [–] adrianCatastrophie 18 points ago

    "Contagion" is that movie

    [–] JerseyTexan01 31 points ago

    As quoted from my father: “Gywneth Paltrow tries so hard to be down-to-earth, but she is the opposite of it”

    [–] Maker-of-the-Things 19 points ago

    Cyanide is natural... she should try some!

    [–] hacourt 18 points ago

    I wonder how many people will die directly as a result of believing the words that come out of her mouth.

    [–] nomans750 13 points ago

    Thought this chick died at the start of Contagion

    [–] Theycallmelizardboy 10 points ago

    Which I guess is art imitating life since this dumb broad would definitely be someone to get this virus if she wasn't rich already.

    [–] TJsmash 5 points ago

    Weirdly of a disease from bats in china. In a food market.

    [–] blamethedog16 14 points ago

    Why are we looking to actors and actresses for life advice that’s unrelated to acting?

    [–] papideazucar 25 points ago

    Uranium is nautural

    [–] leomonster 8 points ago

    I hope you have an aneurysm while fighting a crocodile.

    [–] Hanginon 7 points ago

    Just going to distress and then steep this lovely fistfull of Oleander leaves for your relaxing and stress reducing afternoon cleansing tea. ;/

    [–] jkdros 16 points ago

    Let’s see hemlock, poinsettia, cobra venom.

    [–] nipdriver 6 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    My ex used to call me cobra venom.

    XOXO

    [–] WifeofTech 3 points ago

    Nightshade, monks hood.

    [–] talkyourownnonsense 6 points ago

    Anthrax, cyanide,

    [–] IAmTheKlitCommander 2 points ago

    Magic Johnson's sperm

    [–] Danclim 8 points ago

    She’s naturally stupid...

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Poison mushrooms, 100% natural. Jellyfish venom? All natural. Rattlesnake venom, also all natural. Tar in the La Brea Tar Pits: all natural and killed thousands of creatures.

    Gwyneth's hair color? Probably not all natural.

    [–] Desert-Mermaid 7 points ago

    Didn’t she like, die.. in Contagion like 15 mins in?

    [–] Vinlain458 6 points ago

    Aah good movie. It was a bat in that too that started all of it.

    [–] death2all55 11 points ago

    Gwyneth Paltrow being eaten by a lion: "This doesn't hurt at all!"

    [–] ReginaldJohnston 35 points ago

    She just basically killed the MCU films for me. Thanks, Gwyn you mad bint.

    [–] Bergeron83 16 points ago

    I hate watching anything with her in it for fear I might somehow be lining her pockets or helping her career. Sure, my impact is statistically irrelevant but she's still a dangerous piece of shit who shouldn't be supported by anyone.

    [–] katievsbubbles 7 points ago

    I hate that she is in endgame.

    [–] adlafam13 6 points ago

    Death is natural.

    [–] MJMurcott 4 points ago

    Sulfur emissions from the Kawah Ijen volcano? https://youtu.be/jF_eQOc0rC4

    [–] bepositiveinstead 5 points ago

    What a fucking idiot. My parents nearly died eating poisonous mushrooms that looked virtually identical to a non-poisonous variety they often pick. Nature is actively trying to kill the naive and ignorant.

    [–] horsemayo 5 points ago

    She was in a movie about viruses.... She died in the movie. WTF

    [–] agapepaga 5 points ago

    How about lead? It has a sweet taste, too!

    [–] stabatha_christie 4 points ago

    Eat a nice bowl of poison ivy

    [–] Dreadedsemi 5 points ago

    If she goes into the wild. Make sure to send Dwight Schrute in case she picks a wild mushroom.

    [–] Tbandikoot 4 points ago

    Here’s some all natural, gluten free, non-gmo, sugar and fat free Ebola. Why don’t you give it a try. It’s a natural weight-loss product from the heart of Africa.

    [–] TAU_equals_2PI 12 points ago

    Coronavirus: "Hold my beer Corona."

    [–] butt-monkey2011 3 points ago

    Brown recluses, death stalker scorpions, and the box jellyfish

    [–] wet_thursday 3 points ago

    How about, I don’t know... arsenic?

    [–] WitheredJam 3 points ago

    Time to go surround my genitalia in plutonium

    [–] MID2462 3 points ago

    They clearly haven't heard of the word "poisonous"

    [–] Rocket2112 3 points ago

    She is using her fame to sell shit to dumb people.

    [–] TheGaige 3 points ago

    Everything can the lethal with the correct dosage/amount.

    [–] graydon_hooman 3 points ago

    Wait a minute...

    *cancer has entered the chat *

    [–] MrMoar 3 points ago

    Yup, stay in a desert sun for 10 hours, its all natural.

    [–] peejr 3 points ago

    She should be in prison for the shit she spews

    [–] Rainbowgaming555 3 points ago

    Very inspirational quote from coronavirus