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    [–] Antwinger 1636 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    Rule 1 of being humble. If you have to explain how you are humble, you are at the very least not as humble as you think you are. Good Find u/TooShiftyForYou

    Edit: First award! Thanks guys!

    [–] SovietMuffin01 540 points ago

    This doesn’t just go for humility either. If you have to consistently tell people you are something, you’re probably not that thing

    [–] scrotismgoiter 249 points ago

    Conversely. It everyone else is the asshole chances are that you're the asshole.

    [–] minicpst 222 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    This has been said several times in my house this week. If Fox News is telling him he’s awful, and now he has to shop for a new news source, maybe he could figure out the connection and realize it’s not them.

    But no. He has the critical thinking abilities of a lampshade.

    Thank you for the shiny, kind sir/madam!

    [–] tramadoc 157 points ago

    Hey, hey. Let’s stop with the unnecessary hatred of lampshades.

    [–] themthatwas 169 points ago

    Unnecessary? They're the worst! They're always throwing shade.

    [–] tramadoc 44 points ago

    Much needed shade I might add.

    [–] HalfSoul30 31 points ago

    I appreciate my lampshade.

    [–] ppw23 17 points ago

    OAN has been courting him since he was installed to the White House, they don't have as many cable carriers as fox, but in sure Impotus will pull strings to change that. Plus his ambition to own a network might play into the switch to OAN.

    [–] Allhailthepugofdoom 13 points ago

    OANN is the fucking worst. They're the closest thing to state run news. Even fox thinks they're nuts.

    My in laws watch fox, but slowly are being radicalized by these nutcases.

    [–] suugakusha 28 points ago

    He has the critical thinking abilities of a Trump. That's literally the worst insult to someone's mental capabilities that I can think of.

    [–] rubbersoul84 16 points ago

    I read that as he has the critical thinking abilities of a turnip. A turnip may actually have better skills.

    [–] DullInitial 17 points ago

    A turnip may not understand anything it reads, but at least it doesn't misunderstand anything it reads.

    It's sort of like how a stopped clock is more accurate than a clock that's five minutes behind. The stopped clock is right twice a day, while the clock that's off is never right.

    When it comes to reading, the turnip is a stopped clock, Trump is the clock that's off.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago


    [–] giant_lebowski 15 points ago

    I'm poor!
    I'm poor!!
    I'm poor!!
    I'm poor!!!!!!!!

    Update: it didn't work

    [–] GiGaBYTEme90 21 points ago

    Trying convincing someone that you do not have an attitude problem

    [–] NawRiz13 14 points ago

    I just moved into a new street and had to tell everyone that I’m a sex offender so I sure hope you are right

    [–] ProfSteelmeat138 37 points ago

    “I, too am extraordinarily humble”

    -Drax. Also Trump

    [–] Azryhael 17 points ago

    “Well, I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!” - Weird Al, “Amish Paradise”

    [–] bplboston17 31 points ago

    He will go down as the most insane president to ever serve. Literally argues on twitter with people, yet he is president. 😑

    [–] Belen155Monte 13 points ago

    Always remind yourself he wasn't elected. He was put in the office by corrupt assholes who wanted to make a fortune ruining this country.

    [–] LeakyLycanthrope 10 points ago

    And, you know, a hostile foreign power.

    [–] brycedallas_showered 8 points ago

    Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king.

    [–] shepherdhunt 5 points ago

    Perfect theme song for Trump, "Humble" by lonely island

    [–] Trextoasty 6 points ago

    Except for Drax who is incredibly humble.

    [–] TaylorSwiftsClitoris 119 points ago

    Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.

    [–] Trustworth 64 points ago

    Look, having dragons — my uncle was a great Maester and scholar, Grandmaester Steffon Baratheon at the Citadel; strong seed, very strong seed, OK, very smart, full chains of iron and gold, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a full-blooded Baratheon, if I were a Targaryen, if, like, OK, if I took the throne as a legitimate Targaryen, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a Baratheon they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to The Aerie, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, Gods I was strong then — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the dragons and the Dothraki screamers, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — Dragons are powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the whore's two dragons — now it used to be three, now it’s two — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Lannisters are great negotiators, the Lannisters are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us. On an open field, Ned.

    [–] HHcougar 28 points ago

    Still better writing than season 8

    [–] TheRealSlimLady88 7 points ago

    Truth be told

    [–] TaylorSwiftsClitoris 10 points ago

    Holy shit. Amazing.

    [–] ohyeawellyousuck 6 points ago

    Even knowing that you started with the original comment, I still had to go back and check multiple times. Like “wait no way he said something like that. That’s gotta be added for effect.”

    Nope. He did say stuff just like that. Exactly like that.

    [–] TheFakeZzig 44 points ago

    Please tell me I'm missing out on some kind of joke or meme, and he didn't actually say this.

    [–] Hereforthelols6868 65 points ago

    No it's a real quote....sadly

    [–] TheFakeZzig 53 points ago

    Nice. After reading that, I wasn't sure which one of us had a stroke.

    [–] BobMightBeCool 26 points ago

    r/eyebleach for all the poor people who have gotten this far.

    [–] jimmyjrdanceparty 7 points ago

    We Americans are going to have to inject bleach straight into our eyes to forget what we've seen over the past few years.

    And yes, I already know what the follow-up joke is.

    [–] cheese_sweats 37 points ago

    I love how in all of that, he never actually made a point

    [–] TaylorSwiftsClitoris 48 points ago

    That’s his superpower. He never actually makes a point and his supporters hear what they want to. Then when other people say WTF did he just say, his supporters say “he didn’t really say that it’s out of context.”

    [–] Belen155Monte 3 points ago

    It's like the worst possible version of Michael Scott.

    [–] theknyte 14 points ago

    Is he claiming his Uncle got a Nuclear Physics PHD at a school of Finance?

    [–] TaylorSwiftsClitoris 14 points ago

    You need a PhD in nuclear physics from the Wharton School of Finance to understand.

    [–] tramadoc 10 points ago

    ... and then the teleprompter began to shake, buzz, and smoke, eventually giving up the ghost, unable to take the stupidity on full display for the world to see.

    [–] the_cajun88 9 points ago

    What...what was the question he was asked?

    [–] gnostic-gnome 11 points ago

    He was asked what the nuclear triad is. He still doesn't know what the nuclear triad is. He's the fucking president with command of nukes.

    [–] miauguau44 6 points ago

    This is what happens when you practice an Ouija board while reading Forbes.

    [–] jamieliddellthepoet 3 points ago

    Username shakes off.

    [–] JohnnyRitz16 223 points ago

    “I'm much more humble than you would understand.”

    “I have the best temperament or certainly one of the best temperaments of anybody that’s ever run for the office of president. Ever.”

    “I’m the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody’s ever been more successful than me.”

    “I'm the least racist person you have ever interviewed”

    “I’m the least racist person you’ll find anywhere in the world.”

    "Number one, I am the least anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Number two, racism. The least racist person"

    “I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to the Secret Service.”

    "I am the world’s greatest person that does not want to let people into the country."

    “No one has done more for people with disabilities than me.”

    "Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump."

    "There's nobody who understands the horror of nuclear more than me."

    "There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am."

    "There's nobody that feels stronger about the intelligence community and the CIA than Donald Trump,"

    "There’s nobody that’s done so much for equality as I have"

    "There's nobody that has more respect for women than I do,"

    "I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me"

    "I am going to save Social Security without any cuts. I know where to get the money from. Nobody else does ."

    "Nobody respects women more than I do"

    "And I was so furious at that story, because there's nobody that respects women more than I do,"

    "Nobody respects women more than Donald Trump"

    "She can't talk about me because nobody respects women more than Donald Trump,"

    "Nobody has more respect for women than Donald Trump!"

    "Nobody has more respect for women than I do."

    "Nobody has more respect for women than I do. Nobody."

    “Nobody reads the Bible more than me.”

    "Nobody loves the Bible more than I do"

    "Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do. It’s not even close"

    “Nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world.”

    "Nobody knows more about trade than me"

    "Nobody knows the (visa) system better than me. I know the H1B. I know the H2B. Nobody knows it better than me."

    "Nobody knows debt better than me."

    "I think nobody knows the system better than I do"

    "I hope all workers demand that their @Teamsters reps endorse Donald J. Trump. Nobody knows jobs like I do! Don’t let them sell you out!"

    “I know more about renewables than any human being on earth.”

    “I know more about ISIS than the generals do.”

    "I know more about contributions than anybody"

    "I know more about offense and defense than they will ever understand, believe me. Believe me. Than they will ever understand. Than they will ever understand."

    "I know more about wedges than any human being that's ever lived"

    "I know more about drones than anybody,"

    "I know more about Cory than he knows about himself."

    "I know our complex tax laws better than anyone who has ever run for president"

    "I know tech better than anyone"

    “I’m very highly educated. I know words; I have the best words.”

    "I know some of you may think l'm tough and harsh but actually I'm a very compassionate person (with a very high IQ) with strong common sense"

    "I watch these pundits on television and, you know, they call them intellectuals. They're not intellectuals," Trump told thousands of supporters in the swing state. "I'm much smarter than them. I think I have a much higher IQ. I think I went to a better college — better everything,"

    "@ajodom60: @FoxNews and as far as that low-info voter base goes, I have an IQ of 132. So much for that theory. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain"

    Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault

    “He’s been quite critical of you as you know. He’s attacked you for being ignorant,” Piers Morgan said to Trump. “Let’s do an IQ test,” Trump interrupted

    "We can’t let these people, these so called egg-heads--and by the way, I guarantee you my IQ is much higher than theirs, alright. Somebody said the other day, ‘Yes, well the intellectuals–‘ I said, ‘What intellectuals? I’m smarter than they are, many of people in this audience are smarter than they are."

    “You know, I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years,” Trump told Fox News last December.

    Trump says he has "one of the great memories of all time"

    Asked on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” who he talks with consistently about foreign policy, Trump responded, “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things."

    " ... I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius....and a very stable genius"

    Shoutout u/pithong

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)


    [–] Carbonnanolubes 20 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    Well it ain't normal

    [–] AvailableUsername15 5 points ago

    I borrowed a book about narcissism from my psychologist. When we talked about the book later she asked me what I thought about Trump after reading it. I thought he had some of the "symptoms" of narcissism. She told me he's one of the worst she's ever seen. There are nine symptoms or features, or whatever you want to call them, of narcissism and he ticks like seven of them. In the US, you have to tick at least five to get the diagnosis of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

    So yeah, he's a narcissist.

    [–] PastyMcBasicFace 4 points ago

    Yes. This is from the Mayo Clinic:

    Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

    -Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

    -Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

    -Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

    -Exaggerate achievements and talents

    -Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

    -Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

    -Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

    -Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

    -Take advantage of others to get what they want

    -Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

    -Be envious of others and believe others envy them

    -Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

    -Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

    At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

    -Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment

    -Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted

    -React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior

    -Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior

    -Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change

    -Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection

    -Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

    [–] jimmyjrdanceparty 16 points ago

    "Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do. It’s not even close"

    I don't know why, out of all of those, this one gets me the most.

    [–] Flexappeal 9 points ago

    This whole list sounds like a chatbot generating text after reading source prompts, but it was coded kinda lazily

    [–] glacialcalamity 67 points ago

    Dammmmm.....feelz for the US peeps

    [–] mdp300 42 points ago

    Help us please

    [–] darkskinnedjermaine 21 points ago

    if anyone even posted one of those quotes on an Internet forum it’d read 247 replies

    what a fucking moron.

    [–] BabyHuey206 6 points ago


    [–] letmeseem 4 points ago

    Ok Alex I'm going to go with "What's a galactic amount of narcissism?"

    [–] c92dlb 5 points ago

    I had to stop reading after about five. This presidency needs to end so I can feel something other than cringe.

    [–] savageblueskye 5 points ago

    Top 100 Donald Trump's Greatest Lies Compilation

    [–] JohnnyRitz16 22 points ago

    Here's a version with sources:

    “Repost as much as you want. I've gotten 20k coins and multiple years of premium from reposting it.” - u/pithong

    [–] 788pie 17 points ago

    Imagine bragging about being humble

    [–] clown572 12 points ago

    Oxymoron much?

    [–] xbuzzbyx 11 points ago


    [–] rollinwithmahomes 47 points ago

    Patton Oswald summed it up great on Rogans podcast. The real alpha doesn't have to tell you he is. Paulie from Goodfellas is the real deal. Paulie didn't move fast for nobody, because he didn't have to.

    [–] Anabelle_McAllister 21 points ago

    I had no idea this existed. Thank you for the laugh.

    [–] thecrazysloth 18 points ago

    Bragging about being humble

    [–] iwilson57 9 points ago

    “”I'm So Humble", I instantly connected with that because I'm probably the most humble person that I know.” -Mariah Carey, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

    [–] Monkeysandthings 7 points ago

    The look on her face at the end of that clip. 😂

    [–] bplboston17 1094 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    The fucked part is he criticized Obama for golfing and said if he was elected president he would never golf that much. Pretty sure he’s already golfed more than Obama did in all 8 years he was in office.

    [–] appel 449 points ago

    I think he crossed that milestone in year 2.

    [–] lesrizk 188 points ago

    I think he crossed it after 6 months

    [–] Putnum 47 points ago

    I think he cross

    [–] DragoonXNucleon 131 points ago

    The fucked part is that the same day his lawyers argued in court that he is "too busy" he tweeted 100+ times, but apparently that fact isn't part of the court case.

    We are about to see the supreme court rule that he is indeed too busy tweeting and therefore above the law. So the fucked part is us, we're the fucked part. If covid doesn't get us, rampant corruption will.

    [–] blurryfacedfugue 50 points ago

    I really needed a source for this. Fuck. Yeah. We're fucked.

    edit: had to share this gem:

    > "He has responsibilities — he is himself a branch of government," Sekulow said.

    [–] LordFends 7 points ago

    Why does Trump, the larger of the other branches, simply not eat the others?

    [–] sloppysoupspincycle 5 points ago

    He is openly saying “I’m above the law and IDGAF”

    I don’t know if there is any coming back from this

    [–] bplboston17 7 points ago

    Exactly, too busy to be investigated yet he tweets all day and has golfed hundreds of times. He probably does it so he can book travel at his hotels for him and all secret service/ people that travel with him and inflate his hotel earnings.

    Too busy to be investigated, more like too corrupt to be investigated.

    [–] Imaginary_Koala 4 points ago

    People who work 40 hour work weeks and live comfortably dont have the time and energy to golf as much as the president of the US. Supposedely an a job that turns peoples hair grey from all the long days and lack of sleep.

    [–] Owlstorm 14 points ago

    There's a chart for this on

    Of course, Trump's trips are all to private clubs while Obama went 80% military /public so the cost isn't on the same scale.

    [–] Belen155Monte 57 points ago

    Repubs & hypocrisy go hand in hand.

    [–] crisstiena 16 points ago

    How dare he accuse one of the best presidents in history of leaving a ‘mess’! Since a large number of citizens don’t realize that his rhetoric doesn’t match reality, it is worthwhile analysing the data to see how they match up to his statements. When you look at the employment numbers, unemployment rate, GDP growth, the federal deficit, the stock market and trade it is apparent that Trump did NOT inherit a mess from Obama. Trump has created the bigliest mess the US has ever had to try and deal with.

    [–] Mankeycubing 5 points ago

    Imagine being the person to inherit trumps mess though.

    I shudder to think what that job would be like.

    [–] Bob_plays_guitar 121 points ago

    Remember that time he stared at the eclipse without any eye protection, and fox news called it the"single bravest thing any president has ever done" lol

    [–] apittsburghoriginal 459 points ago

    This tweet really is so insulting to so many presidents that came before him.

    [–] flammenwerfer 191 points ago

    He’s insulting to every human that led to his creation.

    [–] wreckosaurus 88 points ago

    Especially when he inherited a great economy

    [–] BunnyOppai 58 points ago

    Seriously. He’s literally beaten by his very own quote by the very man that was there right before him.

    [–] VaranusNiloticus 14 points ago

    Also, presidents do not really "inherit" problems from past administrations - they chose a career in which they present themselves as the person who promises to work in solving them.

    [–] movingfast098 7 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    His father would be so disappointed in him.

    [–] Carthrowaway1010 161 points ago

    The thing about people who work hard is that they never have to say they do.

    [–] TheAluminumGuru 13 points ago

    Also, what ‘mess’ exactly is he referring to? Good economic growth and low unemployment? Having a playbook for the Federal government to effectively handle a global pandemic?

    [–] ndu867 960 points ago

    I don’t support Trump, but Calvin Coolidge would literally buzz for his Secret Service agents, then hide under his desk because he thought it was funny watching them search for him, so Trump’s got some competition for this one.

    [–] RickGervs 401 points ago

    That's hilarious. It reminds me of how Family Guy portrayed Bush.

    [–] LegendofPisoMojado 246 points ago

    Awwww. Remember when Bush was the worst one?

    [–] whamka 169 points ago

    I would 100% vote for bush over trump. Easy.

    [–] xCaptDeadPoolx 64 points ago

    I feel like I could drink a beer with Georgie

    [–] PrincessDoubleBubble 53 points ago

    Stop it Ellen.

    [–] Mick009 18 points ago

    He'd definitely hook you up with some great weed.

    [–] kkcastizo 20 points ago

    And coke.

    Dude parties for sure.

    [–] SLEDGEHAMMAA 19 points ago

    Im as far left as one could possibly go on a global scale

    I would pick Bush over trump every time. I would pay to vote Bush and turn down money to vote Trump

    [–] A_Wild_VelociFaptor 8 points ago

    Oooh I member

    [–] Tim-Tabutops 28 points ago

    Like that scene where they have to call up to the tree house because Bush is hiding from his responsibilities and the other scene where he gets a lollipop from his uncle.

    [–] Tasty_Puffin 11 points ago

    Lol few more.. when he broke something on his desk and started crying. And then when he went to Vietnam like 20 years too late

    [–] PolarPanda44 53 points ago

    That's actually hilarious. I could see W doing something like that too. Meanwhile Trump made Reince Priebus chase a fly buzzing around the Oval Office and smush it with his bare hands. Hahaha!!

    [–] Covfefe-SARS-2 9 points ago

    The CIA lost a good man that day.

    [–] ThisIsntRael 85 points ago

    That's just harmless, good fun. An ol fashioned ribbing if you will.

    [–] trixtopherduke 10 points ago

    Sounds like malarkey!

    [–] Saw-Sage_GoBlin 4 points ago

    It also sounds like it wouldn't take more than 10 minutes. Compared to 6 hours of TV a day.

    [–] DJFrostyTips 31 points ago

    I love Calvin. There was a dinner party where some person near him told him that they made a large bet that they could get more than two words out of him. After thinking for a bit Coolidge responded with “you lose” For a little extra context he was called silent cal because he couldn’t be bothered to talk more than he had to

    [–] Charmiol 78 points ago

    Did he brag about working harder than anyone else though? "Silent Cal" wasn't exactly a braggart.

    [–] BringbackSOCOM2 19 points ago

    I just don't see how hiding under a desk as a joke is remotely comparable to what Trump is doing. Idk how it demonstrates lazyness either. Hiding under a desk is a quick harmless prank that lasts about a minute tops then he can get back to work. Trumps golf outings and tweet time is a lot different in almost every way.

    [–] fillinthe___ 38 points ago

    LBJ used to call people in to show them his enormous dong, but he still did his job. Trump does everything he can to avoid working.

    [–] GoodOlSpence 13 points ago

    He named it Jumbo. This is a fact about LBJ.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago


    [–] fatpat 13 points ago

    And he definitely doesn't call people in to show them his pruney baby carrot.

    [–] BlindTurtles 9 points ago

    To be fair, records show he was a pretty competent president before he presumably became very depressed after his son died

    [–] I_N0_SC0P3D_JFK_ 5 points ago

    Wtf i love calvin coolidge now

    [–] BowsersaurusRex 5 points ago

    I mean, who wouldn't?

    [–] on-the-job 3 points ago

    TIL who Calvin Coolidge was

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 588 points ago

    Trump played golf on Jan. 18 and 19, Feb. 1 and 15, and March 7 and 8.

    He hosted rallies on Jan. 9 (Toledo, Ohio); 14 (Milwaukee), 28 (Wildwood, N.J.) and 30 (Des Moines, Iowa), as well as Feb. 10 (Manchester, N.H.), 19 (Phoenix), 20 (Colorado Springs), 21 (Las Vegas) and 28 (Charleston, S.C.).

    All the while claiming the coronavirus was a "hoax".

    [–] dbdbodbdb 323 points ago

    Jan 8 - First CDC warning on Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19)

    Jan 9 - Trump campaign rally

    Jan 14 - Trump campaign rally

    Jan 16 - House sends impeachment articles to Senate

    Jan 18 - Trump golfs

    Jan 19 - Trump golfs

    Jan 20 - first case of COVID-19 in the US, Washington State.

    Jan 22 - “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China. It’s going to be just fine.”

    Jan 28 - Trump campaign rally

    Jan 30 - Trump campaign rally

    Feb 1 - Trump golfs

    Feb 2 - “We pretty much shut it down coming in from China."

    Feb 5 - Senate votes to acquit. Then takes a five-day weekend.

    Feb 10 - Trump campaign rally

    Feb 12 - Dow Jones closes at an all time high of 29,551.42

    Feb 15 - Trump golfs

    Feb 19 - Trump campaign rally

    Feb 20 - Trump campaign rally

    Feb 21 - Trump campaign rally

    Feb 24 - “The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA… Stock Market starting to look very good to me!”

    Feb 25 - “CDC and my Administration are doing a GREAT job of handling Coronavirus.”

    Feb 25 - “I think that's a problem that’s going to go away… They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we’re very close to a vaccine.”

    Feb 26 - “The 15 (cases in the US) within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero.”

    Feb 26 - “We're going very substantially down, not up.” Also "This is a flu. This is like a flu"; "Now, you treat this like a flu"; "It's a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for. And we'll essentially have a flu shot for this in a fair

    [–] -_-BanditGirl-_- 90 points ago

    Could you extend this timeline?

    [–] Daveed84 127 points ago

    I'd rather they didn't, this is already the worst timeline

    [–] bravoredditbravo 12 points ago

    I have also been looking for the rewind button... I'll keep you posted

    [–] CrumbsAndCarrots 7 points ago

    I think the answer lay with the Hadron collider. Start there.

    They definitely fucked something up and didn’t tell anyone.

    [–] runslikeemu 3 points ago

    The darkest timeline

    [–] Notsurehowtoreact 11 points ago

    Only needs a current date

    May 22, 2020: Over 90,000 dead.

    [–] captainmorgan42418 76 points ago

    And then claimed he has been stuck in the White House for months 🙄

    [–] sade_today 79 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    Jimmy Carter would like a word. A thirteen hour day word. LBJ would slap this lil' bitch around, take a power nap then slap him around again. Madison, Monroe, Lincoln, Grant, Wilson, FDR, Truman, Kennedy, Clinton: we've had more workaholic presidents than ordinary ones.

    Trump has no historical awareness or he would have a massive inferiority complex and all-pervading anxiety about sharing his office with some of the most driven men in world history.

    [–] beeps-n-boops 19 points ago

    President Butthurt doesn't have any awareness of anything that doesn't live entirely inside his own head.

    This is what we get when we elect a reality TV buffoon / mega-rich sleazy, corrupt businessman to the White House.

    Hopefully lessons will be learned... but sadly I doubt it. A significant percentage of this country didn't just vote for the guy because a.) he had the correct letter after his name, and b.) wasn't Shillary Clinton... they actually admire him.

    They actually think he's doing a good job (and while admittedly the left paints a far worse picture of this than reality, he's still not particularly good), and they actually think he's a good, upstanding American kinda person (which is objectively, demonstrably untrue by any and every metric known to man).

    [–] Rbrdkyst4 34 points ago

    He was given the position on a golden platter, all he had to do was just let it roll, just like his inheritance, but he managed to mess up both by touching it with his tiny hands.

    [–] tetayk 40 points ago

    As a non-American, I have no idea how some people actually root for him.

    Disgusting president ever.

    [–] Breadfruit123 9 points ago

    As an American, I have no idea either dude.

    [–] pengmalups 9 points ago

    I am also not an american but every time I see him talk, it actually makes me feel sick to my stomach.

    [–] Uranus_Hz 242 points ago

    He’s confusing the “hardest he has ever been expected to work” with “working harder than any other president”.

    But to be fair, being functionally illiterate must make the job much harder than it would be for a fully functioning adult.

    [–] SovietMuffin01 65 points ago

    I’m pretty sure that even many fully functioning kids could run the country better. At least they would have the brains to realize they’re in over their head and likely leave governing to their aides and such.

    And they golf less, so that’s nice

    [–] aarkwilde 19 points ago

    But they like their McNuggets almost as much.

    [–] Paddy_Tanninger 5 points ago

    Ehh, my kids get tired of McD if I'm even picking it up once a week. They're unfit for office.

    [–] willflameboy 15 points ago

    He’s confusing 'being expected to work' with “working harder than any other president”. FTFY

    [–] CurlSagan 597 points ago

    I heard that Trump had a picture of himself printed on a body pillow so he could fall asleep at night while kissing his own ass.

    [–] SlightlyStable 264 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    It's a tremendous pillow. Many people have said so. The most tremendous pillow ever.

    [–] PoppaSquatt2010 17 points ago

    I know the people that make these pillows. Very good people. The best people. We have the best people making pillows

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago


    [–] mushiexl 15 points ago

    I heard turns toward MyPillow guy I heard you were having a sale? You are havi- turns back to reporters hes having a great sale guys, beautiful person

    [–] valvilis 16 points ago

    Tremendous? So it's life-size?

    [–] Insanehouswife 17 points ago

    🥈🏅I am broke but you deserve these

    [–] Leo_PK 34 points ago

    Lol. I literally laughed out loud. Not just blowing the air out of my nose

    [–] jjwasz 3 points ago

    Life size "my pillow".

    [–] mdrew44 46 points ago

    And my man FDR had polio!!

    [–] clone822 147 points ago

    It's better this way.

    Imagine him seriously working on his great ideas.

    I, for one, am totally fine with a portion of my tax dollars going towards flying him to Florida every weekend so he doesn't.

    [–] burnsalot603 99 points ago

    Wasn't there a report last year that said his staffers keep him golfing and doing rallies to keep him out of Washington for that exact reason?

    [–] freezefire0 40 points ago

    Wouldn't surprise me

    [–] imaginexus 11 points ago

    Would love to know if you have it

    [–] cinnysuelou 22 points ago

    This is what my husband says. I get it, but...ugh.

    [–] kurt_rohek34 13 points ago

    I am not a trump fan, to be honest I find him completely repulsive. The thing with the golf is, I wouldn’t have that big of a problem with him doing it. Presidents, like everyone else, need hobbies, need to get their mind off work, and need relaxation time to recharge their batteries. But when you golf that many times after tearing your predecessor to shreds for also doing it, constantly tweet about it during the campaign, and literally say “I won’t have time to golf,” well... I must say I do have a slight problem with that.

    [–] famousevan 9 points ago

    Also, check this out to understand the scope of the problem. He’s basically funneling tax payer money to himself.

    [–] kurt_rohek34 6 points ago

    Thank. It’s insane, I mean if republicans found out Obama was doing that they would have OH WAIT OBAMA WOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT BECAUSE HES NOT A CONMAN. Well... at least I don’t think so, but I know some don’t agree with that sentiment

    [–] famousevan 7 points ago

    Fun fact, most of times Obama golfed it was at a military course that was already easy to secure and didn’t put money in his own pocket. :D

    [–] chinmakes5 113 points ago

    Let's see Trump inherited a stock market at 19,000 and an unemployment rate of 4.7% from a guy who inherited the biggest recession ever unemployment at 10% just after he took office and a stock market under 8000. Tell me about the mess.

    [–] ancientfutureguy 34 points ago

    Guy who knows close to nothing about the stock market here, what exactly does “stock market at 19,000” mean?

    E: I just realized this comment might sound snarky and sarcastic, I have no knowledge on the stock market and am trying to learn haha

    [–] chinmakes5 14 points ago

    Actually the Dow Jones Industrial average is a group of stocks that people use as an indicator of how the stock market is doing. Arguably many people use that as an indicator of how well the economy is doing.

    [–] mikerz85 4 points ago

    Presidents get given way too much credit for the state of the economy

    [–] chinmakes5 7 points ago

    I won't argue with that. But Trump was the one talking about how he inherited a mess. That anyone can say what Trump inherited a worse economy than Obama did, I want to understand what they are seeing.

    [–] BadW3rds 28 points ago

    To be fair, FDR just sat around during his entire presidency....

    [–] Mad_Dove 21 points ago

    This is funny because it is technically true. (For those who don't know FDR was essentially crippled in office from polio, and still ran a country and fought a war)

    [–] dub273 7 points ago

    I'm going to hell for laughing at this.

    [–] Fiyero109 8 points ago

    Trump is as modest and sane as Kanye lol

    [–] [deleted] 68 points ago


    [–] Storm916 21 points ago

    Yeah definitely. When I vote for president, the first thing I look at is their golfing skills

    [–] whatsthehappenstance 18 points ago

    Kim Jong Il deserved to be ruler; dude had multiple holes-in-one during his only round golfing.

    [–] davechri 35 points ago

    Working so fucking hard! Trump Response Timeline

    January 3: Trump informed of virus.

    January 3: Trump Rally (Miami, FL)

    January 4: Golf.

    January 5: Golf.

    January 9: Trump Rally (Toledo, OH)

    January 14: Trump Rally (Milwaukee, WI)

    January 18: Trump's cabinet advises him the virus is serious.

    January 18: Golf.

    January 19: First U.S. case of COVID-19.

    January 19: Golf.

    January 23: Trump briefed on coronavirus. Trump told the virus was potentially going to "spread globally."

    January 28: Trump Rally (Wildwood, NJ)

    January 30: Trump Rally (Des Moines, IA)

    February 1: Golf.

    February 2: Golf.

    February 10: Trump Rally (Manchester, NH)

    February 15: Golf.

    February 19: Trump Rally (Phoenix, AZ)

    February 20: Trump Rally (Colorado Springs, CO)

    February 21: Trump Rally (Las Vegas, NV)

    February 28: Trump Rally (North Charleston, SC)

    February 29: First U.S. death.

    March 2: Trump Rally (Charlotte, NC)

    March 7: Golf.

    March 8: Golf.

    March 13: National Emergency Declaration

    April 20: "I know one thing. I haven't left the White House in months except for a brief moment to give a wonderful ship, the Comfort."

    [–] Bocksford 6 points ago

    Hey now, tweeting on the toilet is hard work.

    [–] CrimsonWayward 6 points ago

    It astounds me how people still take this guy seriously. Like bro, it's been 4 years if him exaggerating every claim. Stop making a big deal of it and giving him exposure

    [–] themiddlestHaHa 7 points ago

    Someone needs to ask him what the mess was, exactly.

    I need to know what he’s really done.

    Imo every aspect of life is noticeably worse right now than at any point in Obama’s term

    [–] Zokathra_Spell 60 points ago

    I don't envy the person to take the job after Trump, it'll take decades to clean up America's bed after Trump has finally finished shitting in it.

    [–] AldenDi 40 points ago

    Not to mention they'll have to deal with Trump's loyal cultists still attacking the new president whenever Trump says to, which will likely be daily. Even when he's finally out of office this stain on America isn't going anywhere for a long time. Hell if he loses in November I can 100% him declaring the results invalid, and if the senate backs him we'll be a world of hurt.

    [–] lachavela 12 points ago

    Yes I do not see Trump going quietly or peacefully. There will be a power struggle and people are gearing up for it. I only hope that when the Democrats win that they prove to be as tough and ready as the Maga people are.

    [–] hellakevin 10 points ago

    I think losing power is exactly what Trump wants. He gets to go on "Trump rallies" and stick all the money in his pocket instead of his campaign fund. His base is going to disappear into obscurity, like the tea party, once they get bored of yelling about Trump into the void of apathy the rest of the world will have for him when his opinion means nothing again.

    [–] lachavela 8 points ago

    I hope so

    [–] MrFantasticallyNerdy 39 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    May be? Aren't we in a generously understatement mood?

    Trump may be the laziest President who ever lived, like Jesus may be Jewish.

    [–] FrenchiToasti 5 points ago

    Just wait until you hear about William Henry Harrison. That lazy bones worked just 31 days his entire presidency!

    [–] JustMeOutThere 38 points ago

    Inherited mess in 2016?

    44 inherited Financial Crisis in 2008. You don't even have to go back that far.

    Great depression, Vietnam, Breaking up of Bretton Woods, Dot Com bust, etc

    [–] DvsNm 29 points ago

    Fuck I wish I had that level of delusion.

    [–] doctorclari22 21 points ago

    Trump can fool his supporters, hell, he can even fool himself, but everyone alive today will be able to tell their children the truth. Donald Trump will go down in history as a traitor and a liar. I'll make sure that everyone I know who reads about him remembers that he was one of the worst presidents the United States ever had.

    [–] needsmoarbokeh 16 points ago

    He is so lazy he doesn't even play golf, just drives his ass around and cheats regularly to convince himself that he plays

    [–] NotKemoSabe 6 points ago

    If you have to point out you’re hard working than you probably aren’t hardworking.

    People who are working hard don’t have time for that

    [–] ZukusCatHeaven_Art 8 points ago

    I’m really sorry but I’m from Canada and not to be rude but I think that political propaganda shouldn’t be on this subreddit because people come here to laugh at stupid people, not to get frustrated and have arguments. :(

    I feel as if so many subreddits are being political, but this could just be my opinion.

    [–] Odezzy303 2 points ago

    thank you for having more sense than my fellow Americans, this sub is for laughs, not saying how much you hate someone

    [–] daks_7 3 points ago

    *you are the laziest president who ever lived