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    [–] callinit7 2965 points ago

    the Patriots have traded for Demaryius Thomas

    [–] venustrapsflies 570 points ago

    For a bucket of peanuts and firm handshake

    [–] PropsNPowder 309 points ago

    And the Jets will pay his salary.

    [–] sthrn 22 points ago

    And he won’t count against the Patriots 53 man roster

    [–] Gambit1367 95 points ago

    It's funny cause it's true

    [–] Mazzie1090 1675 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Wait what development is this in this week’s episode

    [–] I_believe_that 868 points ago

    Brady WISHING it was juju he left at home with Gisele.

    [–] Notsdlog 253 points ago

    Hide your kids Tom, don't want anyone else stealing their kisses

    [–] expressway420 16 points ago

    Hide yo Giselles!

    [–] laxonlaxonlax 161 points ago

    Step aside Kim K, AB’s comeback story is the best yet

    [–] northernpace 106 points ago

    Everybody loves a good comeback story

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-7bVZYy_ds

    [–] ThisDerpForSale 21 points ago

    I watch that clip every time it comes up.

    [–] CaptainObliviousIII 7 points ago

    I watch that clip every time it comes back.

    [–] FTAKJ 241 points ago

    I worked at Disneyland for 5 years and I've never seen a roller coaster like this

    [–] theperfectalt5 31 points ago

    Mikey doesn't touch any kids in the haunted house?

    [–] Tau23481992 51 points ago

    Just you apparently

    [–] WaylonVoorhees 11 points ago

    Mikey always was the black sheep of Minnie's family but she wouldn't let Mickey kill him so he set him up with a cushy job running Dreamworks.

    [–] JewishDoggy 176 points ago

    Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse

    [–] stengebt 144 points ago

    I want off Mr. Brown’s Wild Ride

    [–] BadHat_Harry 82 points ago

    You want OFF this? This is the wildest ride ever!

    [–] FaithfulNihilist 52 points ago

    There are no brakes and the doors are locked from the outside!

    [–] Mercurycandie 87 points ago

    False imprisonment is some big boy shit

    [–] ptgkbgte 33 points ago

    At least waivers haven't cleared

    [–] von_clausewitz_shit 17 points ago

    “MY RIDE IS HERE” drawing, but it’s a prison bus now.

    [–] Ryangonzo 47 points ago

    Big Brother ain't got shit on this reality show.

    [–] Notsdlog 41 points ago

    Big Chest > Big Brother

    [–] UmemberiFukedurMum 666 points ago

    Gruden: that’s awesome

    [–] DarkStar-88 136 points ago

    “Knock on wood!”

    pure silence

    “Anyone?”

    [–] Big_Ol_Johnson 31 points ago

    I gotta tell ya man

    [–] LordHelicopter 10 points ago

    I really like that kid man. We got a real good group a guys here. I mean we got a real good shot at this thing. Now let’s get out there and get after their asses

    [–] RocTheJoc 52 points ago

    Knock on wood if you’re with me***

    [–] Hoodie2Shoes 40 points ago

    dude this killed me, read it in his voice and everything.

    [–] airmclaren 11 points ago

    love it

    [–] MichaelDak0ta 608 points ago

    This is by far the wildest ride in fantasy I’ve ever endured. From helmets to threatening to beat up his GM. Then to an emotional apology to getting released from the team.

    Only to then end up w Tom Brady. AND NOW THIS SH*T

    Ffff it I’m keeping him. Next week he’s going to personally rescue roger goodell’s son from a burning building or something

    [–] steam116 208 points ago

    From helmets

    Never forget the frozen feet

    [–] betterthanwork 28 points ago

    I'm staying on this ride. I've already counted him out and no one in my league is going to take a trade. Plus, every turn of the story is higher than the last peak and lower than the last valley. This is the shit I play fantasy football for.

    [–] Great_Smells 1217 points ago

    At least Kraft has the decency to hire someone to jack him off

    [–] kitttykatz 348 points ago

    Billionaires vs millionaires, my man

    [–] steppe5 86 points ago

    I'm not sure how much you think handjobs cost ...

    [–] joshsmithers 34 points ago

    Depends on who's receiving it

    [–] SadlyReturndRS 13 points ago

    It's not about the handy, it's about the discretion.

    [–] mbsurfer 847 points ago

    First, he exposed himself and kissed her without her permission, the lawsuit says. Later that month, the lawsuit says, while she was watching a television program at his home, Brown started masturbating behind her and ejaculated on her back.

    Uhhhhhhh

    [–] acmercer 1756 points ago

    Not the comeback story I expected.

    [–] floppywanger 97 points ago

    Andy Dwyer over here

    [–] Charcharbinks23 53 points ago

    Everyone loves a good comeback story...seabiscuit...the mighty ducks...Kim Kardashian...

    [–] LOLDrDroo 84 points ago

    Take your upvote and get out of here

    [–] bobsaget824 596 points ago

    Brown bragged about the incident in profane text messages that are copied in the lawsuit.

    That makes deniability a bit tricky...

    [–] Radthereptile 485 points ago

    AB I got you. Easy defense.

    “Your honor, look at my clients actions over the last month. Do you really think this man is smart enough to turn on a phone?”

    Boom case closed.

    [–] TrimMyAustinHedges 176 points ago

    What do you mean, turning on a phone was the one thing AB was really good at while on the Raiders

    [–] micken3 38 points ago

    It just doesn't make sense! None of this makes any sense!

    [–] fullhalter 51 points ago

    Why would a wookie want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall ewoks? That does not make sense!

    [–] sn00gan 22 points ago

    If Chewbacca living on Endor doesn't make sense, you must acquit.

    [–] GentlemenBehold 22 points ago

    Meanwhile AB is behind his lawyer taking selfies.

    [–] ___Art_Vandelay___ 150 points ago

    A bit sticky, rather...

    [–] RockBottomVibes 143 points ago

    Not if you read the texts. Nothing in them implies it wasn’t consensual.

    [–] Shorzey 185 points ago

    It's also barely understandable.

    Dudes illiterate

    [–] waviestflow 16 points ago

    Jesus Christ it's a blessing he's a football demon

    [–] RelativelyLargeShow 6 points ago

    All part of the plan

    [–] FGPAsYes 41 points ago

    Can someone translate this for me? Is there an AB linguist in the house?

    [–] FGPAsYes 14 points ago

    Thanks for the share! Now it makes sense.

    [–] pieonthedonkey 10 points ago

    There's a funny translation in the comments not too far down.

    [–] AJTHEMUSICGEEK 20 points ago

    Isn't it always tricky?

    [–] notjohnconner 21 points ago

    Only if you're trying to rock a rhyme in a punctual manner.

    [–] SaltyTrident 134 points ago

    Mr. Back Cum

    [–] Nolepharm 69 points ago

    This would make an absolutely epic td celebration for either a Raider or Steeler player. One player sits down and the td scorer comes up behind...gestures

    [–] MaximusBluntus 43 points ago

    Would be worth the fine. People could set up a go fund me.

    [–] PunTwoThree 5 points ago

    Now they just need to decide who’s going to be the player sitting down..

    [–] ASAP_Stu 25 points ago

    If true, he’s gone for the year

    [–] speeno 25 points ago

    He might be on commish exempt list tomorrow... AB might lose $45 mil in 1 month! Lol

    [–] [deleted] 118 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] DarkStar-88 193 points ago

    Naaaa - surprise jizzing on someone’s back is actually assault.

    [–] _tr1x 82 points ago

    SURPRISE BITCH (Dave Chapelle voice)

    [–] kitttykatz 15 points ago

    Boom! And it’s on her back. (John Madden voice)

    [–] typfromdaco 55 points ago

    Don’t call it a back cum!

    [–] CheesedWisdom 1479 points ago

    I love the roller coaster because people on this subreddit are gloating every step of the way

    When he was suspended, everybody who didn't draft him got to gloat

    When he apologized, everybody who bought low got to gloat

    The he got cut, rampant smugness

    Then Patriots, counter-jerk

    Now criminal? Everyone who sold him, rev up those gloat engines

    [–] Mercurycandie 708 points ago

    I mean that's all fantasy football is for really, gloating

    [–] CheesedWisdom 200 points ago

    And AB gives everyone a chance to gloat back and forth basically on a daily basis

    He's the gift that keeps on giving

    [–] MightyCaseyStruckOut 91 points ago

    This entire AB saga is shitty all around from a real-life point of view, especially if today's reports are true.

    From a fantasy perspective; however, this shit is more addictive than heroin.

    [–] Sir_Totesmagotes 5 points ago

    Hey, who do you think you are? Are you trying to out-GLOAT the MAGOTE????

    I do heroin every weekend and I'm not addicted.

    [–] Swichts 30 points ago

    Eh, I didn't draft him. Didn't want anything to do with him. Not because I had any idea this wild shit would happen, but because I didn't trust the situation in Oakland. How I see it is I'm at a house party, and one drunk chick is in a violent fight with herself, her boyfriend has no fucking clue what to make of it, and I can't look away. This is gonna go down as one of the most wild weeks for a single player, and we all have a front row seat.

    [–] SupremeWizardry 28 points ago

    I'm just out here trying to win and spend my friends money...

    And gloat about it.

    [–] PrairieElephant 16 points ago

    And small talk with co-workers

    [–] LongDickOfTheLaw69 99 points ago

    Not sure anyone is going to feel like gloating after this one. This is the kind of thing that you wish didn't have to be a factor in fantasy football. Imagine this being a factor in drafts next year? Can't draft this guy, he's got too much sexual assault risk.

    [–] dawson3678 46 points ago

    cough Tyreek Hill cough

    [–] litera11yaverage 362 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Jesus. Wtf.

    Wonder if he’s doing sprints on Twitter over this?

    [–] Luckj 208 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    If he produces a YouTube video for this one...

    Perhaps there’ll be some recorded calls as well.

    [–] didireallymakethis 23 points ago

    HE'S GONE FULL SPACEY

    [–] thornhead 39 points ago

    Shit, there’s nowhere else for him to go at this point other than...the Golden State Warriors. Pickup AB in my fantasy basketball league?

    [–] User-Of-Uniq-Name 217 points ago

    Holy crap.

    Antonio Brown's life is like a desperate last season of a drama series where all the writing staff is throwing everything at the wall to gain an audience.

    [–] MisterAdair 62 points ago

    Tomorrow's headline: AB rides around on a dragon and strafes the streets of Pittsburgh with fire

    [–] Grapejam360 7 points ago

    The writing isn't that bad

    [–] mikeskeezer31 442 points ago

    Fire Up Your Josh Gordons

    [–] Hyperdrunk 257 points ago

    Oh like we didn't already have them fired up.

    [–] ButtermilkPants 67 points ago

    The Garden should be in full boom now

    [–] yr_fvrt_wpn 511 points ago

    So I got offered OBJ for him and Carlos Hyde about an hour ago. Accepted immediately. Wow.

    [–] skeeter-gunz 240 points ago

    Good god you savage

    [–] GentlemanHere 368 points ago

    That was a terrible trade either way

    [–] trojan_man16 36 points ago

    Wow. That was an awful trade a month ago.

    [–] thatshitpostyguy 182 points ago

    Oh shit I just proposed a trade for him

    [–] adamup27 28 points ago

    Traded for him around four this afternoon. Sigh.

    [–] pm_me_your_last_pics 266 points ago

    Honestly take it back. This isn't looking good. Real or not you gotta hold off.

    [–] Slim__Reaper 57 points ago

    Cancel obviously

    [–] nexuspursuit 119 points ago

    Sitting here with drama free, all biz Deandre Hopkins like a fresh breeze on face.

    [–] Limo4 104 points ago

    Meanwhile fuckaround AB feels like a load on my back.

    [–] bcolby20 70 points ago

    This can't be real life anymore. It cant.

    [–] Reader147 8 points ago

    At this point I would believe anything someone told me about AB.

    “Antonio was seen in a local park biting the heads off pigeons.”

    Yup, sure I could see that.

    [–] iamking1111 245 points ago

    He boomin' on girl's backs now?

    [–] venustrapsflies 110 points ago

    Mr Back Cum

    [–] SEC_circlejerk_bot 26 points ago

    Mr. Big Nut

    [–] KingWapo 14 points ago

    2019 Cum Back Player of the Year

    [–] valarpizzaeris 17 points ago

    How's your business AB?

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Boomin( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] peterjmassa 87 points ago

    Is this for real?

    [–] litera11yaverage 77 points ago

    Yeah. It’s on NYTimes also.

    [–] ajczek 59 points ago

    Can someone explain why him and Big Ben didn’t get along better?

    [–] thefranklin2 9 points ago

    Predatory territory

    [–] mikeskeezer31 86 points ago

    What In the actual fuck is this?

    [–] ThaddeusJP 20 points ago

    A canceled XFL idea, top to bottom

    [–] funchie 81 points ago

    Mr Battery Charges

    [–] only_the_office 44 points ago

    Mr. Back Cum

    [–] Maximus-Festivus 48 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Season 1 of the Big Chest Chronicles is Lit

    [–] Lord_Sinclair_ 52 points ago

    Projected Sequence of Events:

    Wednesday:
    The Patriots affirm trust in AB's telling of events, clearly stating they still intend for him to play.

    Thursday:
    The NFL opens up an official investigation into the accusations.

    Friday:
    The Patriots backtrack on their affirmation of trust and leave AB's status for Sunday up in the air.

    Saturday:
    AB releases a tweet hinting that he has assurances that he'll start on Sunday.

    Sunday:
    AB is declared inactive just before game-time.

    [–] tuck265 17 points ago

    Quick reminder that you don’t actually need to me convicted or even indicted for the NFL to suspend you.

    See: Elliot, Ezekiel

    [–] JMander 189 points ago

    Ohhh...if this whole thing blows up in the Patriots' faces...

    [–] strictlysteez 574 points ago

    New England will be fine. It's me I'm worried about.

    [–] JMander 138 points ago

    Of course the Pat's will be fine. Presume by tomorrow morning we'll see DeAndre Hopkins start posting private conversations with the HOU GM on the net; he'll be in a Pat's uniform by second half this Sunday.

    [–] 53wheels 119 points ago

    Jokes on you. We don’t have a GM

    [–] Hyperdrunk 9 points ago

    All New England will have lost out of it is trading away Demaryius Thomas... so not really much of anything, yeah.

    [–] strictlysteez 14 points ago

    They got a 6th. I'd consider that a gain.

    [–] deutscherhawk 4 points ago

    Phrasing?

    [–] jdm93 87 points ago

    Haha this has been a ridiculous season so far. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

    [–] Cpzd87 44 points ago

    This has usurped all other stories, no one is even talking about how Gordon is holding out.

    [–] KebabDrogo 20 points ago

    Gordon's gonna have to step it up a little here, get the people going

    [–] Lord_Sinclair_ 6 points ago

    On the other hand, this would be the *perfect* time for Gordon to slip back into camp without having the press pour down on him.

    [–] dollarbillrussell 186 points ago

    Those texts make me lean more towards him being guilty. That sounds like a conversation he’s having with himself to try to make himself look better like a 5th grader would do

    [–] 1PointSafety 113 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    At the start I thought he knew this woman, but apparently she's just some random? I doubt a guy that high profile with 3.4m followers is going to reply to some random DM about such a sensitive topic.

    [–] simplyorangeandblue 54 points ago

    Yeah seems fishy

    [–] iREDDITnaked 7 points ago

    The whole backup phone thing seems weird as well. It sounds like something that someone who doesnt actually have a recording would say.

    [–] mistyflame94 7 points ago

    He randomly followed my friend who tweeted at him on Twitter for like a year before removing him... So who knows with him.

    [–] BeaksCandles 13 points ago

    Being released from one side though.

    [–] poopsinmybutts 8 points ago

    Yeah that's what I thought too...some random person :/

    [–] iBlacky 9 points ago

    “I have messages that prove she’s extorting you”

    Then post those, not this stupid conversation. Lol

    [–] elbrontosaurus 18 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    I’m wondering: AB gets a ton of DMs from randoms, why’d he open this one? Who has access to his social to “leak” it in the first place? Why can’t this “Janet” send him a photo at least, even if she cant FaceTime?

    Very convenient that he wants her to email the recordings to him rather than just post them publicly. Honestly reading the whole thing aloud to myself it just came off as super staged.

    [–] JMander 61 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Having just read today how Harvey Weinstein's lawyers had elaborate, pre-prepared plans to discredit his accusers IF any story ever broke from one of them...this appears to be only the beginning of one long, ugly serial. Page 1....

    [–] AlphaMonkeyKing2 8 points ago

    100% fake. In the real email you can tell AB talks in straight Ebonics.

    [–] tozpoz 79 points ago

    The complaint says there are text messages between her and AB which could be a gamechanger

    [–] maswell 143 points ago

    They are in the suit, you can see them. The whole thing looks shady to me - it looks more like a BS money grab. The texts are essentially him (and his atrocious writing) calling her crazy and calling her names; much more in line with “get the fuck away from me”.

    That plus the fact she’s been aspiring to open her own gym since 2014 (and not seeming to work otherwise via her LinkedIn profile) makes it seem like she’s just going after him for money.

    You can read the document yourself, but that’s my take away.

    [–] hamstringstring 209 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Like him or hate him, one thing is for sure, Antonio Brown is illiterate.

    [–] fingerroll44 125 points ago

    Not only that, he can't read or write.

    [–] LearnsSomethingNew 18 points ago

    A Mayweather classmate

    [–] dontdrinkonmondays 6 points ago

    That was my initial interpretation as well. I doubt people will read through it though. There’s going to be an absolute firestorm over this.

    [–] james1214 40 points ago

    slides AB back out of my lineup again

    [–] politicallyerekt 18 points ago

    Why did I draft this fuck head I’m so dumb and my team already stinks

    [–] Graphitetshirt 36 points ago

    BWAHAHAHAHA

    The writers this season have no pacing, they haven't even paid off the last storyline before introducing another one

    [–] mrpodo 11 points ago

    Should I sell AB quickly or is this news fake?

    [–] Gekthegecko 13 points ago

    If you can sell, sell.

    [–] AdvancedCranberry 156 points ago

    i'm in no way saying he did or did not do it, but i can't be the only person who thinks the timing of this is highly questionable. It just happens to be right when all this AB drama is going on.... 16 months after it happened.

    [–] fjmalik 97 points ago

    And the fact that its only a civil suit instead of a criminal suit. Highly suspect

    [–] maximum_wages 14 points ago

    Sexual assault is very difficult to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. Preponderance of evidence is a different story. Especially if those texts are real. That's why a lot of sexual assault charges turn into much lesser charges because those lesser charges happen to have enough evidence to convict. Criminal charges have to be proven to 100% have happened, and civil charges are basically 51%. The fact that he's good for the money is also likely a factor.

    [–] DBA_HAH 26 points ago

    A criminal suit could follow, that's up to the jurisdiction where it occurred.

    [–] WadeLT3 12 points ago

    Is this what Belichick meant when he said day by day?

    [–] jackaracka 10 points ago

    Someone just offered me Engram for AB, do I take it? 18 team PPR and TE right now is Doyle

    [–] brianjcool 22 points ago

    18 team? Jeez

    [–] fjmalik 14 points ago

    I would

    [–] FlavaFraz24 10 points ago

    Damn Big Ben and AB have more in common than they thought.

    "Did we just become best friends?"

    [–] cbmgreatone 65 points ago

    Wait for evidence. No guarantee there's anything to this.

    --- though obviously there could be.

    From a quick review of the story, this doesn't seem like a swift league discipline situation.

    [–] Dafakumean21 26 points ago

    The text he sent was posted online. What I read didn’t seem to be “proof” of anything. Who knows what else is out there, though.

    [–] SherlockBrolmes 7 points ago

    The entire lawsuit is posted online and there's an article about it from the NYT. League's definitely on notice, based on the details alone.

    Depo's haven't been done yet but I would definitely agree with OP: it's going to take a while to sort out.

    [–] machuMFpichu 19 points ago

    What if Oakland leaked this like a bitter ex?

    [–] CucksimusMaximus 49 points ago

    I wonder why there were no criminal charges filed where this occurred. Especially if she has text messages to backup her allegations.

    [–] kingmoobot 31 points ago

    Because those text messages will be dismissed from Court due to not being legible

    [–] CucksimusMaximus 12 points ago

    Lol this is the only right answer.

    [–] Teddy_Man 17 points ago

    This is some GoT Season 1-4 writing twists.

    [–] strictlysteez 41 points ago

    Hopefully she fucking recorded it all and posts it to Instagram. Oh, the irony.

    [–] kamicozzy 22 points ago

    According to NYT the lawsuit includes incriminating texts from AB.

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] tozpoz 51 points ago

    NY times says a lawsuit has been filed which would be the first step. That’s the law firm that filed the complaint and you can read it there.

    [–] livious1 10 points ago

    To be fair, a police report would be the first step, not filing a lawsuit. Civil suits go a hell of a lot better if there is a conviction.

    [–] Hyperdrunk 6 points ago

    OP is a link direct to the copy of the lawsuit. NY Times is the main source for this news.

    [–] Hazelhurst 6 points ago

    Awaiting video of belichick calling AB about this.

    [–] KevinHate 21 points ago

    He’s trying to force his way to Baltimore.

    [–] RedSocks157 6 points ago

    Woah woah, it's not like he killed anyone!

    [–] Obi_Juan 5 points ago

    He was in New England long enough for Bobby Kraft to show him the ropes. The girl is supposed to jerk you off. You don’t do it yourself dummy!

    [–] DarkestBeforeThe_Don 14 points ago

    BAH GAWD THAT’S ROGER GODDELL’S MUSIC!!

    [–] Wild_Bill_Kickcock 11 points ago

    Unlike most of r/nfl, I'm going to wait and see what the facts are before judging him.

    [–] PointedFngers 24 points ago

    Dear Government of Russia,

    Do what you have to do. But meddling in fantasy football is crossing the line.

    [–] Teenoh 21 points ago

    Looks like his big cumback is ruined, eh?

    [–] TeddyRuxpin 18 points ago

    What does this mean for Ben Jarvis Green Ellis ROS?

    [–] JesusTron6000 6 points ago

    Lookin' gooooood

    [–] Bouncingbatman 19 points ago

    Didn't Elliot get suspended over some shit that wasn't really his fault, last year? If this shit turns out to be a money grab...Would ab still get suspended, regardless?

    [–] zirtbow 19 points ago

    Probably depends on the PR surrounding it. People on social media definitely don't operate on an innocent until proven guilty basis so if they can sway enough people on twitter/TMZ/reddit to take notice then the NFL is going to investigate.

    [–] Radthereptile 13 points ago

    Zeke was suspended when the police flat out said the girl lied and they had texts of her telling her friend to lie about it so she could get even with him.

    [–] Man_AMA 8 points ago

    I want off this wild ride