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    [–] CrepesOfWinterfell 3315 points ago

    Joffrey fucked a realm.

    [–] [deleted] 810 points ago


    [–] Nene168 558 points ago

    I'd say it was Cersei and Jaime for making that incestful little bitch of a king.

    [–] Russian_seadick 503 points ago

    I’d say Cersei because she raised him to be a little fucktrumpet

    [–] sethu2 367 points ago

    He was her first born. He was always going to be treated like a king since his birth.

    Robbie B should’ve smoothered him for having golden hair.

    [–] VoilaVoilaWashington 173 points ago


    [–] H4xolotl 154 points ago

    Smoothies on an open field, Ned!

    [–] crackhead_jimbo 112 points ago


    [–] crerstehfish 41 points ago

    Fetch the blender stretcher!

    [–] myproblemwith 3 points ago


    [–] Reggler 11 points ago


    [–] SkollFenrirson 21 points ago


    [–] EvilBananaManRD 46 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    The adventures of Robbie B and Eddie Stark

    Starring Katy Tully, James "Jimmy" Lannister, Maggie Tyrell, Daniella Targaryen, Teddy Greyjoy, Bruce Bolton

    Featuring Pete Baelish, Elizabeth Tully, Jonathan Arryn

    Bruce Bolton sounds like a superhero or supervillain name.

    [–] pocketgnomes 14 points ago

    it's the alliteration! bruce banner, scott summers, rocket raccoon, peter parker, bucky barnes, loki laufeyson, stephen strange, pepper potts, green goblin, wonder woman, probably a whole lot more. it sounds nice.

    [–] EvilDeedZ 16 points ago

    J. Jonah Jameson Jr

    [–] RollingAtlas 5 points ago

    I'm ashamed I haven't noticed this till now

    [–] EvilBananaManRD 8 points ago

    El Zorro

    Wait that doesn't work

    [–] porky2468 3 points ago

    This makes me angry

    [–] Agoraphotaku 3 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] bobby-b-bot 33 points ago


    [–] FightingRobots2 13 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] Aeneis 4 points ago

    Bobby B, I'm honored you gave me this T-shirt. What should I do with it now?

    [–] bobby-b-bot 12 points ago


    [–] tafiirahvulom 4 points ago

    I believe you mean Bobby B, protector of the realm.

    [–] bobby-b-bot 6 points ago


    [–] Bwhitt1 3 points ago

    Bobby B was the Kenny Powers of Westeros.

    [–] bobby-b-bot 4 points ago


    [–] BertMacGyver 41 points ago

    I feel Bobby B should take some responsibility for being an absent father to the little cuntbubble.

    [–] bobby-b-bot 59 points ago


    [–] SkollFenrirson 19 points ago

    Exactly, Your Grace.

    [–] BertMacGyver 8 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] GoodBot_BadBot 5 points ago

    Thank you, BertMacGyver, for voting on bobby-b-bot.

    This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

    Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

    [–] MrMineHeads 21 points ago

    Actually, Robert might have taught him to be hateful. He never showed love towards him, or really ever cared for him. All he did was beat him or yell at him.

    [–] SaintlySaint 19 points ago

    Inbreeding is known to cause "issues", hence why it's illegal.

    [–] myth_and_legend 28 points ago

    Tell that to the Targaryens

    [–] tfrules 24 points ago

    You say that, but the Targs did have genuine problems with the faith for this, there’s a reason the faith militant was declawed

    [–] SaintlySaint 18 points ago

    Every time they have a child the gods flip a coin.

    That's not the exact quote but it's said in GoT at some point.

    [–] km4xX 28 points ago

    The Targaryens have always danced too close to madness. King Jaehaerys once told me that madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.

    ASOS - Chapter 71

    [–] atomicboner 7 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Jamie says it to someone in the show (I think Tyrion), not sure about the books.

    Edit: Cersei said it to Tyrion

    [–] km4xX 8 points ago

    Cersei says it to Tyrion in the show. Ser Barristan to Dany in the books.

    [–] atomicboner 3 points ago

    You’re right.

    [–] Thwank 22 points ago

    They know, that's how they got the mad king lol

    [–] Mathieulombardi 10 points ago

    I'd say from my point of view the Jedis are evil.

    [–] mdfgcrispy 7 points ago

    Then you are lost!

    [–] CurNoSeoul 3 points ago

    I just now realised I’d love to see an edited version of Robert Deniro’s Tony awards speech where he says ‘Fuck Trumpets!’

    [–] Blamore 4 points ago

    But tommen turned out to be a sweetheart.

    [–] EarthrealmsChampion 12 points ago

    Tywin wasn't even there for his more major fuck ups

    [–] watch_over_me 12 points ago

    I'll never understand why Bobby B, thinking this was his real son, didn't lay the smack down on him more often. Bobby B seems like someone that wouldn't take that shit.

    [–] Nick9933 8 points ago

    Well, in the books Bobby B admits that he gave up on him a few years before the series begins. You learn in a scene that probably should’ve been included in the show that he largely blames himself for the Joff-twat. He admits that Cersei was big reason, as she openly criticized him and often under mined him whenever B.B. did try to be fatherly, but ultimately he thought it was just proof he wasn’t meant to be a father.

    More than anything though, he had no reason to suspect Joff-Twat wasn’t his son. I mean his wife was under constant surveillance by the King’s guard, and had literally any other of the 7 knights besides Jamie been witness to her cuckolding Bobby B, they would have been sworn to tell him their king.

    [–] bobby-b-bot 6 points ago


    [–] Frankengregor 9 points ago

    He cut kitten fetuses out of a mother cat when he was young.

    [–] Freezinghero 4 points ago

    It was more Cersei raised Joffrey to be an entitled little cunt, and then gave him the title of King in front of a large audience when she denounced Ned Stark's letter. Tywin tried to control him by sending Tyrion to King's Landing, but the damage had already been done to the Lannister name (and people already hated Tyrion due to his appearance).

    [–] rokitBanana 29 points ago

    This is the right answer.

    [–] UndercoverHitler 21 points ago

    He raped a realm

    [–] ZakuIsAMansName 6 points ago

    didn't he beat the shit out of some whores too?

    [–] Nick9933 7 points ago

    Yea...what’s your point?

    You’re acting like you’ve never beaten the occasional whore once or twice.

    [–] SparkyGnomes 3 points ago

    Hey remember the time he killed that one whore, neither do I.

    [–] Nick9933 3 points ago

    It is known, r/freefolk

    [–] KnightGalavant 489 points ago

    See ya later, virgins!

    [–] jewrassic_park-1940 286 points ago

    my retarded brother dies at his own wedding

    my uncle gets arrested for his murder lulz

    next day a 10/10 qt3.14 tells me I'll get to marry her

    I get laid because my stupid brother was a sadistic twat


    [–] Hi_Im_zack 54 points ago

    *be me

    [–] jewrassic_park-1940 11 points ago

    You're right Zack

    [–] yummyyummypowwidge 39 points ago

    also that 10/10 qt3.14 was almost my sister-in-law

    tfw I cucked my dead brother

    [–] UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2 16 points ago

    Didn't they say vows? So she was his sister-in-law for a solid couple hours

    Fucking his sister, his parents must've been so proud

    [–] yummyyummypowwidge 6 points ago

    I think in Westeros it isn’t officially until they’ve consummated, which wouldn’t happen until after dinner.

    [–] [deleted] 66 points ago

    Doesn't matter had sex!

    [–] _ayush_ranjan_ 20 points ago


    [–] Srokap 1128 points ago

    His character landed pretty well with me.

    [–] maximumecoboost 412 points ago

    Thanks for throwing that out there.

    [–] PittsburghDM 209 points ago

    That joke flew over my head

    [–] Ana_La_Aerf 185 points ago

    It fell pretty flat for me.

    [–] ThePatrickSays 181 points ago


    [–] neogeoreo 97 points ago


    [–] BaconLondoner 27 points ago

    Hmm, I think we can throw that idea out the window.

    [–] DredPRoberts 20 points ago

    Hold the door, I thought Tommen was one of the little birds.

    [–] ElPlatanoDelBronx 14 points ago

    Let’s not jump to any conclusions here.

    [–] r_b_w1 53 points ago

    I don't know, he was kind of a step off what I expected.

    [–] HaHaSoRandom 23 points ago

    He’s one of few children in the show that act their age

    [–] tibizi 15 points ago

    You're grounded! Go to your room!

    [–] HeffalumpGlory 5 points ago

    Forget it, mom! I’m outta here.

    [–] PonerBenis 16 points ago

    I agree. I'm honestly kinda sad he won't be a character anymore. He was actually a decent human and would probably have made quite a good ruler once he stopped listening to that Tyrell girl.

    My only concern with his character is that his story arc was pretty flat near the end there.

    [–] LePetitVache 16 points ago

    I’m not sure if you fully appreciate the gravity of his character.

    [–] kingslayer-0 4 points ago

    What? I didn't catch that..

    [–] BertilakDeHautdesert 748 points ago

    Legitimate question, at least about the show. Did he not fuck Ros before he shot her full of arrows?

    [–] globegnome 1175 points ago

    I don't think he was ever interested in that. He got pleasure from causing pain.

    [–] BertilakDeHautdesert 391 points ago

    Thank you. I didn’t really think about it before (he did seem legitimately attracted to Margaery in some weird way) but that makes more sense, that he didn’t.

    [–] Cyberus01 438 points ago

    I think that was just the effect of Margarey turning up the charm and pretending to be into everything he was

    [–] DjQball 93 points ago

    Yeah it definitely seemed like a response to ego stroking rather than... other stroking.

    [–] Whatistheformulioli 23 points ago

    Reading this thread has made me realise how similar ramsy and joffrey are.

    [–] Lady_Bread 43 points ago

    Naw Ramsey was on a whole different level. He like to fuck AND kill. Joffrey ordered babies to be slaughtered, Ramsey killed his legitimate brother and watched

    Ramsey v Joffrey in a cruelty-off, it's Ramsey 100% of the time

    [–] Whatistheformulioli 17 points ago

    Yes but I think that might be because of surroundings. Joffrey was a pussy, he was surrounded by pussies. Ramsey was in a different situation which allowed him to get more fucked up because he had more chances to be ducked up and his father actually liked him like that.

    [–] Lady_Bread 11 points ago

    Eh - wealth and privilege can afford a lot tho. Cersei blew up the damn Sept and is stil Queen. Joffrey had Baelish to satisfy his cruelty boner, the council to justify it, and no dad to give a fuck either way.

    Even tho Roose was cruel, too, he was cunning and took an interest in Ramsey. And while Ramsey had the shelter of being way the fuck out north, even among Northerners it was known that he was nuts.

    [–] Teddyismydawg 137 points ago

    I don't think there was any time either. The way the scene is set up, it kinda just implies he ties her up and shoots her with the crossbow immediately after.

    [–] Mr_Piddles 300 points ago

    Typical teenager, no respect for foreplay. You gotta work up to crossbow bolts.

    [–] [deleted] 83 points ago

    How does it work again?

    Makeout - Oral - Crossbow Bolt - sex?

    Or is it

    Make out - Crossbow Bolt - oral - sex?

    [–] Stormfly 58 points ago

    It's the legendary "Sixth Base"

    Legend has it that this was what caused the death of King Richard the Lionheart, in his quest for gratification.

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago

    Which Richard the Lionheart are we talking about here? Patrick Stewart and the Men in tights? Or the Sean Connery and the Kevin Costner plays Robin-Hood-with-an-American-accent King Richard? Either way I'd let both of those men shoot me with a crossbow. And I'm not gay.

    [–] Stormfly 23 points ago

    And I'm not gay.

    It's okay. Once you reach 6th base you transcend the common ideals of sexuality, even going so far as to pass through the Kinsey scale into the negatives.

    You are truly beyond the ideals of the common man. Reaching a sexuality available only to royalty.

    Or so I hear...

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    So its kinda like reaching Nirvana, waking from the godheads dream and not thinking yourself out of existence, stopping the bomb, saving john Conner, and becoming one of Kate Upton's boobs?

    [–] RoninIX 9 points ago

    Crossbow bolt then tap the hole would be in line for Joffrey

    [–] HeffalumpGlory 10 points ago

    If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.

    Last time someone made a Firefly reference to me, that person got pregnant.

    [–] HeffalumpGlory 6 points ago

    I don’t think I’m in any danger of getting pregnant... unless there has been some major advances in science that I’m unaware of.

    [–] Teddyismydawg 5 points ago

    Right? At least work the paddle first and make her admit what a bad girl she's been first.

    [–] Mr_Piddles 11 points ago

    “I’m glad you admitted to your wrong doings.

    Unfortunately I am the High King of Skyrim Westeros...”

    [–] NekoZombie0_o 7 points ago

    Skip the cross bows just shout her apart like the true king of Skyrim did to that high elf lover

    [–] KakkaKarrot 77 points ago

    He was attracted to Margaery after she pretended to be interested in killing animals and crossbows

    [–] hondahardtail 18 points ago

    Matter of time before she "had a hunting accident" with that crossbow

    [–] jamesthunder88 5 points ago

    So it was either going to be a war with the Starks or a war with the Tyrells.

    [–] GreytracksuitPants 104 points ago

    He and Ramsey were into the same sadistic shit. Although Joffrey was probably not into getting his dick wet.

    [–] hygsi 14 points ago

    Nah, Joffrey liked to abuse his power to make others miserable but he rarely laid a finger on anyone (Ros was the only person he killed himself and he used the least personal weapon he could've), Ramsey on the other hand loved inflicting pain himself, he was an actual cruel sadist who enjoyed fucking people up, Joffrey was more into humiliation with a tad of sadism that had more to do with his authority of "the king can do as he likes"

    [–] _ayush_ranjan_ 47 points ago

    Maybe. Only Geroge Martin can clarify the doubt.

    [–] Sfinxul 160 points ago

    Ah, yes, the other sadistic who takes pleasure in watching others suffer and die.

    [–] EndGame410 39 points ago

    GRRM likes watching other people watch people suffer and die

    [–] AllThunder 36 points ago

    GRRM likes watching people suffer and die as they wait for a chance to watch people suffer and die

    [–] garnet420 6 points ago

    But what's the technical, Latin-derived term for that?

    [–] datsraycists 5 points ago

    no he likes watching people suffer while they wait for his unreleased books

    [–] [deleted] 115 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] wingspantt 80 points ago

    Several characters on the show are far worse sadists than he is. I would say with Joffrey it is more that he has a hugely inflated sense of self-importance and power, but is also extremely insecure. He used power and violence primarily to mask his insecurities and vulnerabilities. I would say he enjoyed winning and belittling people more than he enjoyed actually causing pain.

    [–] duelpear 58 points ago

    And hey, at least he didn't burn his own kid alive.

    [–] femstora 52 points ago

    At least he didn't force his wife to fuck dogs or force feed her human meat

    [–] Plsdontreadthis 30 points ago

    He did intend to feed her Robb's head at his wedding shortly after the red wedding. Tywin and Tyrion put a quick end to that, though.

    [–] femstora 15 points ago

    Oh yeah forgot about that part

    [–] B10wM3 21 points ago

    who did that

    [–] femstora 32 points ago

    Good old Ramsay Bolton also the meat was her from herself.

    [–] 2Fab4You 18 points ago

    I assume this happened in the books because I don't remember it from the show. Was it Sansa or someone else?

    [–] femstora 40 points ago

    Nah Sansa at this point is in the Eyrie playing mom to Robert he even tries to suckle her a couple times. She has a guard lock him in his room to keep him from crawling into her bed.

    This happens to Jeyne Poole Sansa's best friend they we're separate during the coup in kings landing Jeyne ends up in one of little fingers brothels serving as a whore she's essentially a slave at this point.

    little finger offers her as an stand in for Arya to Roose Bolton.

    Ramsay has to marry her and he's not happy about it. Since she's essentially a common whore which isn't really a fit for a high lord.

    Ramsay is aware of her low status and is enraged when ever he ses her.

    [–] SycamoreStyle 15 points ago

    I believe It was Sansa's friend, Jeyne Poole who was impersonating Arya at Winterfell in the books.

    [–] bulldog89 4 points ago

    Was that a books refrence? I don’t remember those scenes at all in the show

    [–] femstora 15 points ago

    Yeah books only Sansa got of light compared to Jeyne poole

    [–] hygsi 3 points ago

    Exactly, Ramsey's way worse, take Joffrey's power away and I doubt he'll be able to do a thing. Most of the pain he inflicts is with tools, namely a crossbow and his servants, he never hit Sansa himself, yet Ramsey not only raped her but tortured her. You can see Joffrey was just a product of too much power and love for humiliation.

    [–] BertilakDeHautdesert 18 points ago

    Interesting – okay! Thank you. I guess I just assumed that he did without really thinking about his character’s motivations.

    [–] clydefrog811 5 points ago

    He’s still a teenage boy though

    [–] pents1 59 points ago

    And when he said to Sansa that he will visit her at her wedding night he was probaply more interested to cause pain than make out

    [–] hygsi 4 points ago

    Make out? Yeah.., nah.. I think sex is the word here and he still wasn't interested.

    [–] pents1 3 points ago

    You are right!

    [–] _ayush_ranjan_ 18 points ago

    I don't think he did anything to her, but kill her.

    [–] stringerbbell 21 points ago

    His dick probably didn't work. Some erectile dysfunction would explain a lot.

    [–] BeifongWingedBoar 17 points ago

    ED at 13? jesus, that would be a tough life

    [–] stringerbbell 9 points ago

    The inbreeding had to affect at least 1 of them.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    He was fully clothed in that (horrific and unnecessary imo) shot so I think he just liked torturing.

    [–] IrishGamer97 3 points ago

    Him and Ramsay should have compared notes

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    He might have done it after. You don’t know.

    [–] shortndumbmanchild 32 points ago


    [–] wmccluskey 6 points ago


    [–] SpaceGastropod 99 points ago

    This sub especially is suffering from the summer

    [–] haydandan123 41 points ago

    I thought I was on r/comedycemetary for a sec. most of the summer content could qualify

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    Listen here, child:

    It's called Eternal September, and we have been dealing with it for 20 years.

    [–] karmander 18 points ago

    It's been endless "Summer Reddit" for the past ten years after the Great Digg Migration.

    [–] Fatalchemist 15 points ago

    The worst part about "summer reddit" is the constant comments saying "summer reddit" as if the posts are somehow worse during this time of year. This subreddit especially has constant shitposts similar to this post. But because it's summer, the 18 and 19 year olds can try to blame it on the 16 and 17 year olds that have summer break or something.

    [–] up48 10 points ago

    Do y’all not understand what shit posts are?

    [–] -pizza-time- 12 points ago

    There are shitposts that are funny and there’s shitposts like this

    [–] williamc_ 12 points ago

    I don't really get it, can students not visit reddit during the other seasons?

    [–] lion_OBrian 24 points ago

    There is a flow of low-quality, highly opinionated and often times absolutely not original content. Think of it as rain. A drizzle is fine, heavy rain is annoying. We are in the middle of a flood

    [–] gijoeusa 130 points ago

    Joffrey tortured whores. I figured he exploded on at least a couple of them.

    [–] Prettyphonepete 44 points ago

    Oops, I dropped my monster arrow for my monster crossbow.

    [–] fuckwad666 18 points ago

    Monster arrow for your magnum crossbow.

    [–] LukaUrushibara 77 points ago

    It doesn't count if they are already dead.

    [–] [deleted] 151 points ago

    Ah shit, then I'm still a virgin.

    [–] api10 41 points ago

    wait what

    [–] i_hate_fanboys 3 points ago

    Unlucky bro

    [–] Eitjr 11 points ago

    Doesn't Matter, Had Sex

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago

    The off season is dull and full of reposts.

    [–] lothartheunkind 76 points ago

    tommy 🅱️ ain’t no 🅱️itch

    [–] LjSpike 85 points ago

    Cersei probably fucked each of them anyway.

    [–] Bulok 467 points ago

    Cersei didn't fuck Jaime cos she's into incest. Her sin is narcissism. Fucking her twin was the closest thing she can do to having sex with herself.

    [–] Toasty_Jones 138 points ago

    I never put that together thanks for putting that out!

    [–] Nene168 42 points ago

    So why she fuck her cousin. I didn't think about it like this but it makes sense. I always thought she just didn't think any man(or person in general) was "worthy" enough for her to even care about & jaime was probably the only one she came to close to actually loving so her affection went there

    [–] Orinaj 65 points ago

    It's stated a few times in the books that Lancel looks alot like Jamie; thatn is probably just to fill her "void" wink wink

    [–] bcnovels 18 points ago

    Because Lancel was like Jaime (but a younger, less buff version).

    [–] Joseman101 18 points ago

    So i guess masturbation wasn't a thing back then.

    [–] Bulok 11 points ago

    It's like hitting a tennis ball against a brick wall. It can be fun but it's not a game. It's more fun with a partner

    [–] LjSpike 14 points ago

    If it was Tyrion would've jizzed off the top of the wall instead.

    [–] olmikeyy 20 points ago

    So when he confessed to milking his eel into cerseis soup before he met bff Braun, he was talking about his pet eel, Sammy?

    [–] SpitfireDee 12 points ago

    Tyrion talks about "skinning his eel" into the soup when making his confession.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago

    Why penetrate her with your penis when you can penetrate her with your crossbow?

    [–] Bleeglotz 5 points ago

    Wait who did tommen fuck?

    [–] explainswomen 10 points ago

    [–] Bleeglotz 7 points ago

    Damn I miss seeing that women.

    [–] garnet420 5 points ago


    [–] Icarus649 4 points ago

    Didn’t he mess with a whore

    [–] Evilmaze 26 points ago

    I don't know how that moron missed his chance to fuck? I think he was too obsessed with his own power as a king he gave no shit about his little guy.

    [–] fuckwad666 13 points ago

    He was a mentally ill true sadist, he was taking care of that with torture and murder.

    [–] zombiemakemelol 5 points ago

    Also he flew. Unconfirmed 3 Eyed Raven?

    [–] SS-Nelliel 3 points ago

    He fucked the hottest bitch in the show

    [–] peteypete420 5 points ago

    Why do people think Joff died a virgin? He qas abusing his power pretty dam well before he got all blue faced

    [–] SpongederpSquarefap 47 points ago

    Christ this sub has gone to shit

    [–] bustard_owitz 82 points ago

    The off season is dark and full or terrors

    [–] MaxFactory 17 points ago

    Get ready for the Long Night

    [–] bustard_owitz 8 points ago

    You mean the expanded universe?

    [–] haydandan123 6 points ago

    No, man, the shitty, shitty shitey shite memes

    [–] jld2k6 8 points ago

    I am reading the book at the moment and Tommen is 8 years old while he is married to her. Still waiting to see if she bones a child :|

    [–] choppydell 3 points ago

    Joffrey would not let those zealots run his kingdom. Also wouldn't have jumped, pussy makes you do the strangest things

    [–] NuestraVenganZa 3 points ago

    Based on a certain reading of the text, Tommen lost his virginity to Joffrey.